The Family Man | Facing Depression | CNA Insider
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
- When you seem to have it all - supportive wife, 2 kids, a career - but: "I struggle to come up with any moment when I can remember being happy". Depression nearly cost 38-year-old Mak Kean Loong everything. Now he's sharing his story to help others understand better, though he's been warned he'll be "marked".
Read more: www.channelnew...
For more, SUBSCRIBE to CNA INSIDER!
/ cnainsider
Follow CNA INSIDER on:
Instagram: / cnainsider
Facebook: / cnainsider
Website: cna.asia/cnain...
Watch the four-part series Facing Depression: cna.asia/2qbhDAP
About the series:
In this 4-part series, Facing Depression gains access to patients undergoing treatment and those who have recovered. They share their struggles, hopes and fears as they battle this invisible morbidity.
Well said - Being alive is more important than anything else. Life is short Mr. Mak stay positive and do the things you enjoy doing. I hear you ...
Lim Lim there's a difference from being alive and existing
Not everyone is as brave as Mr Mak to face reality and has taken the correct steps. Resigned from job and sought medical help .
Many in his position would have held on to the job, trying hard to live like a normal person when actually fully aware that they are suffering from depression for fear of the consequences should the problem be revealed.
How can laymen, untrained to help such people, do when they discover that a close friend or a relative is suffering from depression? Maybe advice on action to be taken should be disseminated more widely to the public
Yes! Being alive is more important than anything else. You are doing great, trying so hard to fight every single day when it seems much easier to give up instead. I think many people are able to relate.. Ignore those who cannot. Fight all you can to gravitate towards the positive messages and people and when things get so difficult.. hide in your family's love. Your wife is also doing such an amazing job, being so supportive. Hang in there.. many people support you.
Yes being alive is very important
Only by living can one do the things one wants to do or wishes to do.
If you can accept it there is no need for change
But if you cannot accept then you just need to change yourself and the things around with will change as well
There should be a law that bans employer from getting the medical history of employee.
Seek God! Give it a try! Materialistic and superficial lifestyle will cause many to suffer.
Such an understanding wife, very lucky guy ... I think people now days, If they faced this situation themselves ... 70-80% of them will left the husband.
liquidiceyt true. Especially with the women of this generation
Indeed...a very lucky man to have such very great wife! Keep on fighting and smile bro! Be yourself. We all wish you and your family happiness.
Stay strong u r very brave to speak out ur problem...I'm fighting with mental illness too
Layee me too
I’ve been depressed since my mom died in 2014. Never truly healed. I can be very happy in a moment then feel empty for days. I’ve kept thinking and thinking of ways to change but now then I gave up. I’ve had suicidal thoughts from time to time like a little voice from the corner of your brain tell you to die. Recently I met my girlfriend and I hope this will be it, the change that I’ve always wanted. But now I feel the empty feeling slowly creeping inside of me. I hope I could fight it. It’s no fun at all, made you feel like you’re living as a zombie.
Terang I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your mom. When I went through depression I went to see a therapist. I thought I could cure myself and I couldn’t. Putting all your hopes into your girlfriend is not the right answer. You need help from a professional. You need to make yourself stronger. Whenever you feel depressed you should go exercise to get a breath of fresh air. Get help, there’s no shame in asking for help. I’m so glad I got help. It was the darkest moment in my life and I didn’t sleep for 1 week. I really was going crazy. After overcoming my depression I felt like I could do anything.
Please seek medical help.
Vipassana
Many people don't understand depression. People should educate themselves and try to understand the sufferers. it could happen to anyone.
@grape juice Singapore wasn't the product of depression but depression came to them, because the construction of progress display no emotion.
my father did sucide because of great depression in running family business. he got brain damage which change his personalities. he live in conservative family. i'm very grateful yet jealous Mr Mak get medical support also loving family... if you have deppresion tell people you trust, take healing time and proffesional support
Thank you so much for sharing your story. your courage and strength inspires us all.
I love CNAI videos, too bad the commenting is disabled in some of the videos. Reading comments itself sometimes more interesting than watching the video.
Yes. We can learn so much from others.
I have been depressed most of my life. Was diagnosed with (verbatim) "major depressive disorder, severe without psychotic episodes." Anyways, I absolutely need medication, when I get off, I become suicidal quickly. So, just like someone with seizures, whose brain is not wired correctly; because I have had depression since I was a tween (now in my 30s), I need medication to be a productive member of society. So, stop telling people what to do with depression. You're not a neurologist, psychologist, or a GP. You are an uneducated person who never suffered from a disorder where your brain is not working properly. No, a walk in the forest won't help. Prayer is useless. I need actual medicine. Actual knowledge, not a pile of bullshit, pity, disgust, or apathy. I am fine. This thing has been a part of me so long, I do not remember what it was like without it.
Hope u get your medicine so u could be fine, sir. And yes when a person is in a depression disorder *any type of depression disorder*, public will never understand it properly in medical terms. They are not at the level of depression with anti-depressant medicines...
What a heroic man for sharing his story. I hope he is doing better.
Mak Kean Loong, I feel you, man. I've never been suicidal but I feel that I've scratched the borders. I cannot imagine such pain that one would be willing to leave a wife and children. I hope you're feeling fine.
I have no family, no parents, no uncles, no aunties, no siblings, no friends. But I don't feel extremely lonely. I guess we're all wired differently. I'm just rambling here. You have a beautiful family. I don't. Good luck to you.
You got us man, the internet. You're not alone
I wish you happiness, in whatever form you can find... wish you someday will have your own family.. a beautiful one.
Admire your bravery to tackle this problem head on. It is not necessary to fit into the societal norm of having a 9 to 5 job. Life is much more than that. Thank you for sharing your story and I hope the veil can be lifted soon.
I'm going through dipression from 2007 due to family problems, and its getting bad and bad after every passing year
He was an infra engineer. Fk. Office politics got to him
Major cause of depression nowdays is working environment. Employee need to struggle to achieve good kpi and make their boss become more rich.
Hi Mark- I ve been there before. I lost 2 years worth of time until finally i come to terms with myself n i moved on. Hang in there, it only gets better
Props to him. Hopefully the slow and long process will heal him over time.
Hopefully you don't give up
IT'S OKI I HAVE DEPRESSION TOO
Bravo. You have made the wisest move to seek help and throw in your towel. Two months ago, I nearly killed myself by jumping out of the window on a sheer 'high' impulse when my hypomania devolved into mania. Fortunately the flash of insidious thought struggled only for its 15 min existence before I could obey it. The help from my psychiatrist at IMH mainly comes through the pills and MC render little help to my recovery. So, I have to quit my teaching job for an early retirement.
Depression among workers in the IT sector has been getting more attention as the sector tends to appeal to those who like the intense nature of IT work.
I am head of an IT sec. Everyday I put on a mask to deal with office politics. My fav time is when I don't need to face anybody I can work on codes all day. But to get ahead we have no choice
CNAI deserves so much more subscribers for offering thoughtful glimpses into the lives, struggles and experiences of other Singaporeans.
Being jobless is hard, but having high expectation for you is harder..
Depression are disease that feed on struggle and failure...Till they can see and recognize..to fix!..In the end you can only fix you. Nobody is responsible 4 your own happiness😕!
Mr Mak is actually very lucky that he has his wife and children by his side. Many of those who suffered from depression is always facing the issue alone and including me, has no one to talk to. I look out of my window at the vacant carpark rooftop across the street at times and wonder when I would be able to take the leap and end it for all. Somehow I look forward to that day when I know all the pain is going to end.
you are never alone. you will be fine. no matter who you are you are amazing. i know, ive been at the bottom, nothing but darkness. but even just having a cup of coffee in the morning is something good. count all the small things. if you feel sad know that even if i dont know you i think you are valuable. if i met any of you in real life and you need a hug i wouldnt hesitate if you asked.if i a stranger can say this and wholeheartedly mean it and believed in ywho you are as a person and the greatness inside and the kindness in your heart. at least do me one favor and look at yourself in a mirror and say "i love you". i do this regularly, when you do so know you will never be alone.
I've been fighting with depression all by myself since 2003 and got better over the years. And it is seriously a tough journey. Sending my biggest strength and courage out to whoever is coping with depression now. ❤❤❤
I admire those who have privileges to announce their burnout all over the world. My burnout, equality, privileges, benefits, rights, opinions, responses are denied as I am marked as a b40 by mahathir, najib
Good luck to you and your family during your recovery.
My ex-wife suffered from major depression due to a bad childhood. It was a shame that our son had to witness things going on in the family when he was a young child. It forever affected his life.
Don't ever think that suicide will help. It will affect your family. Keep pushing yourself to get better.
Dont give up live broo
😭😭😭 I wished you happiness I surppot you bro all the way hopfully all your misery will be over n having the best of life bro, Come on bro you got a very good wife n as a friend to you too dont let her down. Love you bro from Brunei.
If only there is a place with total freedom with not a worry in the world. I would be more than glad to live there
I'm so sorry for anyone else who has to go through this. It's a daily fight.
Mr Mak, 加油！All the best to you and your family.
Take your time love your family much more
what we missing is more spiritual growth ,
The problem is those "help" is very expensive (in my country)
Don't give up
You have a great wife !!!
Dramaking
simple things are fine
Thanks for showcasing Persistent Depressive Disorder… I was clinically diagnosed at 15 for having this condition (alongside GAD and panic attacks…). I’ve had major depressive episodes but the times when I can go to work 5 times a week and keep to my commitments, I still struggle every day with insomnia, sense of hopelessness and worthlessness… along with stomach issues. It’s very tiring because people think you’re functioning but you’re barely keeping it together… until at times you just fall apart and cry for hours over nothing. 😢
I thought I was the only weird person who felt happiness as something overwhelming and startling that I had to stop and question myself. I never heard someone phrased it so clearly as him in 0:38.
For me, I don’t believe that being alive is more than anything else. But, being alive with joy and purpose letting you persevere to go through this journey of life.
I wish they had a bigger house.so many things there and kinda looks small with a kid and his depressive thoughts as well.poor kid.and wife and him.hope he gets well.if you are watching this, mister, i pray for people like u all the time.i pray God gives you hope,and help you overcome your negative,sad and suicidal thoughts.I'm not lying.i just pray for anyone who is sad and has made up their mind to take their lives.i pray for children, animals and people abused anywhere around the world.please do the same guys.💗💗💗
Yes working in IT sucks. Everybody hates computers but needs them in this modern world.
KEAN LOONG YOU ARE NOT ALONE
I HAVE EXACT SAME SYMPTOMS AS YOU
I CANNOT HOLD ON TO A JOB FOR LONG
NEVER PROGRESSED IN MY CAREER
NEVER SOUGHT MEDICAL HELP BECAUSE I WANT TO AVOIDS DRUGS WHICH ARE POISON
even if u ask small teens , they are not obbseessed with materialistic world , more more more ,,, thinking these cars ,mobiles, shopping will make us happy , its not true
I hear you. Hope you will get well soon. You are stronger than you think. Defeat depression everyday by staying a life.
Chúc thầy lộc ngày càng thành công hơn và hạnh phúc bên gia đình 殺殺
I hope and pray that everyone with depression are dealt with compassion, instead of judgement. May God bless all of you.
To different degrees, whether we recognise it or whether we accept it or not, we all have mental issues. By this, I include anger, wrong attitudes, and of course depression. I salute you Mr. Mak, and your good wife, for coming through this. The staff at IMH are to be commended for their empathy, patience, and being non-judgemental. Life is a journey for all of us. It is important to recognise who we are and be willing to seek help when necessary. Hang in there.
And God bless you and your family.
the problem is modern life putting more and more pressure , school are just making people cogs in economy , basic things in life are getting harder to reach , while corporates squuze all profit to top .most people lost all moral becoz of money
Wished they revealed what caused the depression! But guessing from his profession as software dev the pressure to deliver and very limited time for personal hobbies might have started his pain..
ahh... look at these keyword warriors ... so nice of them... but can the reality really accept him?
Don't worry Kean Loong, everything will be okay. You're very brave to talk about it so openly. Please stay strong for your family.
Stay strong man dun give up, life has no second chance, love your family be with them more, love life, life is precious, god bless you and your family always, stay strong
Animals can be a great help to fight depression, dogs are an example. I feel that if I do not have my dog with me, I would have long fallen into depression already, it's my dog that keeps me going
people are living in small families , no real conncetion , why u think social media is so popular , but it will never fill the void .
most developed nations are filled with most unsatisfied depressed people , i live in australia money is good , but totally empty , it took me 30 plus to understand the real meaning why india is so popular even in silicon vallen in gaining spiritual life , thankfully i m not depressed anymore . after understanding the culture and real meaning of india.
this video is more like ad for imh , it shows in research singaporean people are very unhappy even though its rich country
I wonder if he was already suffering from depression when he started dating his wife.
here i am trying to get a job, but then im thinking it is better if im dead rather than being deadweight for someone else.
they fire the employee which then increases the incentive for a shooting rampage in retaliation against the death threat of poverty. ironic.
Hugs...
Try to grateful for even the smallest things in your life, then you'll start to appreciate your life and eventually you'll find yourself have already gotten rid of that depression
And that is just depression...Try Schizophrenia or bipolar...I've been diagonised with Schizophrenia and Social Anxiety since 2003...Where is the government help for ppl like us...?
@@Ronson_Lau Thanks for the kind gesture...Really appreciate it...
Having the same feeling.its so difficult
I understand what your wife go through..... :(
Video never mention what triggered his depression
Listen to Quran brother just give it a try.
0:41 that Mr bean limited edition cushion i have it too
I am feeling totally useless...
Forgive others and yourself. There is no end to comparing yourself with others, so don't do it. Try your best to live in the present by not thinking about anything in the past or future.
Get plenty of sleep, and eat lots of fruits and vegetables
it’s so hard for me to understand because i’m not so educated on depression... one thing i don’t really get is the ‘pain’. what exactly do they mean by that because from what i see, it’s not physical.
I'm suffering from depression, and I hope I can help you understand our pain, even just a little.
If you lost someone, there's emotional pain. If someone you trust turned his back against you, there's pain. And those pain can't be seen. That's what we carry every day, a wounded spirit that is in constant pain because we have no idea how to heal ourselves. You can't see our suffering, and sadly we can't see the wound ourselves. But, we do feel its heaviness weighing us down. And it's like our emotions, mentality and spirituality are being crushed by the sheer weight.
It's like being broken, wounded and bleeding, but one can't comprehend where it is, for it is not physical.
Keep the flame burning
How to stop the pain...
So glad he sought help
His depression is older than me damn
The struggle is real
You’re a warrior!!
U are very brave
Hugs …
Can relate..
story of my life
5:29
Gd job
Myself and Wife has been going through a cycle of pain all these years. I’m almost 10 years her senior. I have yet to reach my mid 30s. And yes, U can imagine how old is she and how young we got married. We have kids. We were separated since 2016. I was a bad Husband at the initial stage because I couldn’t let go of her past. She has terrible past which tormented me even in my dreams during sleep. I would wake up in the middle of the night having nightmares and visions on her with another guy on bed. I love her. And I still do. I just couldn’t accept my love being shared around by so many men. There’s this thing in me because I was also brought up from a insecure family. My family only look towards my elder Brother and youngest Sister. Thus making me even more insecure with her and raking up her past day in and out. Finding faults with her and linked all I can during quarrels that root causes of all issues was due to her past. I was selfish. I was stupid. I was bitter. I couldn’t accept the fact that so many guys has got involved with her before me. It all came to light as our wedding day is near. I still feel I am retarded for even bringing up her past. However. I accepted her still and thought that I could forgive her as time goes but I couldn’t let go at all. Fast forward to years after our marriage, we have our number #? kid. Yeah, I’m a motherfucking sex machine. Back to the topic, we had our #? kid and I find her drifted away from me as time goes. She would moved out on our quarrels. Even very minor stuffs. She went night life just like before we were together. After she moved out, She would go to her mother place but got chased out due to her abnormal unusual late night attics. Then she would rent a place outside alone. 1 kid used to be with her but she eventually let her mum look after while she stay alone. She became a stronger drinker than she used to. A lot of past friends who seriously are a unhealthy bunch of people started to get in touched with her. A lot of new guys of course also try their luck to get her. She Have nights out with friends 3-4 times a week. For a period even started doing night job at clubs. I shall not divulge more. It’s heartbreaking and too emotional talking about this. Right now after 3 years of separation, I’m still seeing my kids alone all these time. Fetching them to school and picking them from school and rushing to work. Cook for them and do their laundries. Shower them and pack their school bags the next day. I’m worn out. Totally shagged out. On many occasions I thought of ending my life. I don’t even have a life. I don’t drink like I used to. I do not have any friends anymore especially devoting 99% of my time to my kids. I have nobody to talk to anymore. I never had family support all my life. Until this very day I’m still struggling. I’m still waiting for her. But today I’ve saw her social media and she’s still enjoying her separated life and knowing so many different new guys. Her photos became more and more skimpily dressed which is totally not the her when we were together. Different guys writing on her wall really often. It’s so obvious they only want that Pussy of hers. I as a husband on paper can only pray to God to open her eyes. I was depressed and I still am. I’ve lost all sense of direction and I’m so tired seeing and looking after my kids alone. I’m hanging on because they are my responsibility. I love them. I might be a jerk who raked up her past but I certainly do not deserved being ignored for 3 years. I’ve pestered her. Sending her letters. Wrote a million apologies via text msg, waited for her for nights when she went night out and she still refused to see me. I’ve also reassure her by spamming her on my plan to change to someone she want. I don’t even care if I became someone unhappy but I just want her back. All those messages went on deaf ears. She don’t even bother to reply. At most times, I cooked for my kids and will automatically packet and send to her neighbours to deliver the food to her without even seeing her. I cried alone at home until I fainted on 2 occasions. I texted her day and night and it seriously became spamming which I know is bad. All I want is to have a complete family and that we would reconcile. I’m the only one trying on the marriage wanting and willing to wait for her to change for the better. Thinking she’s still young probably she wants freedom. I didn’t know she became another person during these years. It’s a nightmare. There’s so much attention she’s seeking from the way she post stuffs on her fb walls. It kinda disgust me when she starts playing the angel card for all her circle of friends to see. I wiII always kid myself she will changed and be back. But it just didn’t happened and will never. I pray hard and cry hard to Lord Jesus as I’m a backslider for god damn how many years am not sure. I pray that one day I can find a partner who can motivate me and be strong. Someone who understands me and show me love. I’m dying for that love. I hope u guys pray for me as I’m going to the lawyers and initiate divorce proceeding. This is the first time in my life I’ve finally make my decision to move on after seeing her social media is still so fucking active with different guys. Nights out still ongoing any day any week.. she has totally changed to someone whom I don’t even dare to look at. It’s so sad. She had lost the Mother side of her. I can swear for my whole family life despite having a dick stand so often, I never once insert my dick onto another Pussy during our separation. For this I’m motherfucking sure to say. The reason is because I value the word respect. I suspect that she might have partners during these years of separation but Whenever I thought about this I will quickly down 2-3 cans of beers one shot repeatedly. I will do this only when my kids are asleep. It’s that painful. I really wished to die so much if it wasn’t for my kids. I’m finally giving up this marriage now. It’s so painful. I’m letting God handle my pain. My sorrows and my disaster. I’m asking Jesus to give me strength and make me a better person. I hope I will not come across anymore stuffs about her because that will pulls me down again and again to the rock bottom. That cycle, gotta stop. What goes around comes around. Most important right now I want to provide a stable shelter for my kids. My life has changed. I no longer need friends. My friends are my children. I love them. I’ve lost touched with the outside world for god damn many years. I am not perfect but I’m still learning to be a better dad. They are my responsibility. And yes. I’m trying to fight depression alone still.
Numbing Tears I will pray for you ... stay strong bro for the kids it’s the right reason ... God Bless 🙏
You can seek professional medical help to help yourself cope better.
Hi guys. I just want to share this... try Jesus. Why? Why not. You got nothing to loose if you try😊 you can start by reading His words... the BIBLE. God Bless🙏❤️
Bob Makuapo ni Kalibubog I used to not believe but now I am starting to ... i was laid off from work recently and have been so suicidal and depressed ... praying to Jesus was the only thing that calmed me ... 🙏
Dear sir, I'm so sorry to hear you. I don't know if this helps, but I've tried. Work on me. I've listened to the Quran verse. Authentic one. I feel better
depression is what? mean like got someone talking with you but actually is nothings ? or like thinking to much at brain ?
Thank you for speaking out as a man. The majority of people pity for the female who have depression than men. I hope many more men will acknowledge their depression and not to fight it alone. You have so much to live for and I hope you will recover.
Q
Get out of your house. Take a walk in park. Have a conversation w people. You will be alright.
Yes i know its not easy. It will never be easy. But at least make a little baby step by step. I believe everybody hv helped n prayed for him. In the end only he himself can make it through
i think the gadgets are the reason that makes more depression, try not to touch it a week and talk to people arround, be social be nice, i had depression too back in 2013 after divorce and consume abilify for 2 years but then i broke i can't afford the doctor diagnose and medicine then i try to be social and more praying more communication and yes i stop using gadget for 2 weeks and hwalaaa god blessed.... the depression gone since then and ou yeah also the best remedy is helping the people who really need the help (not always money) and when you witness their happines and their smiles..my God it the best remedy ever to depression
Not an alpha male
Any one have depression come to Islam. Say sahaada Do Islamic prayer and zikr. Depression easily gone Insha Allah.
He never felt happy when marrying his wife?
Chow Jun Liang depression does not give one flying damn whether you are married or single or have kids or great job or highly educated or whatever. If you don't understand something like depression please read up on it instead of making insensitive assumptions
depression sets in as and when it likes like any other illness
Wan Farah Wan Zainuddin Thanks, will read soon. I'm having depression now after what you said. Don't say I'm lying, because depression can happen anytime. Hehe.
@@gmr2gnr nice, making useless joke just like a useless person you are
@@Eddie859 don't say that, I have depression. I just contemplated suicide over what you said, thanks.