Avoid Making These Big Mistakes With A Narcissist

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 พ.ค. 2024
  • Learn the crucial mistakes you will want to avoid when dealing with a narcissist, from thinking you're special to giving them the benefit of the doubt, and especially thinking that you can save them.
    For information about my Toxic Relationship Recovery online course: liseleblanc.com/toxic-relatio...
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    About Lise Leblanc
    Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Life Coach Practitioner, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.
    For information about private consultations, please visit my website:
    liseleblanc.ca/products/coaching
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    DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. Lise Leblanc does not provide personalized psychological, health, or legal advice. Any information or responses provided on TH-cam are general and hypothetical, not individualized. This content is for informational purposes only and viewers should verify primary sources and/or seek professional services. Narratives about clients are heavily modified to protect their identities, using blurred details to teach and reassure without revealing private information about individuals.
    If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:
    Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
    Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
    Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
    Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
    DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.
    #NPD #covertnarcissist #narcissist #narcissism #narcissistic #narcissisticabusesurvivor

ความคิดเห็น • 95

  • @dinab7852
    @dinab7852 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

    "When they show you who they are through their actions, believe them."
    - EXACTLY!

    • @barebonesbrisco3954
      @barebonesbrisco3954 หลายเดือนก่อน

      AGREED! Their actions speak louder than that lying mouth!!

  • @pirates9109
    @pirates9109 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    I was abused 11 years, not understanding what I was up against.
    it's like trying to reach someone who's running away crying, and when you finally catch up with them you realize you've got a blade in your heart. Confused, you look at her face to realize that she's smiling.
    Honestly without your videos educating me and enabling me to understand the patterns of a narcissistic relationship.
    I could have been stuck years after the discard but you gave me closure with all your videos.
    I now realize all the abuse i endured trying to outlove her, making up excuses for her, and forgetting myself.
    You saved my life Lise Leblanc.
    From the deepest of my heart thank you.

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Im happy to hear that my content is helping you recover and get closure! Wishing you all the best

    • @vickibazter3446
      @vickibazter3446 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      God bless you.

    • @vickibazter3446
      @vickibazter3446 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      We are all in this together ❤️ 👍

  • @kahtnipp
    @kahtnipp หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    She destroyed my entire life to the point where now my physical health is deteriorating. She was back to life immediately after discarding me while I've been trying to figure out who I am and why I don't have anyone in my life anymore after two years of learning how to hold proper boundaries and to love myself again.
    Run and don't look back. You're worth having boundaries and self love. Don't second guess yourself anymore and trust that something has been terribly wrong for far too long.
    You got this. Believe in yourself.
    Life is far too short to tolerate 💩💩 behavior and the emotional intelligence of an entitled toddler from a grown ass human.

    • @jordanfry2899
      @jordanfry2899 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Hey! You are a beautiful person and you will create a new life out of the ashes of this one. It’s damaging and will affect you for sure, no doubt, but it also breathes new life and enhances the meaning and importance of the life you live post-narcissist. You’ve surely learnt so much about people and psychology, and you will never have to deal with it again. You will surround yourself with great people now. You know of all the red flags. I wish you good luck and a great life!

    • @kahtnipp
      @kahtnipp หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@jordanfry2899 Thank you Jordan, you are as well! Wishing you all of the best and hoping that you find some of my artistic and musical creations that you enjoy and resonate with you.

    • @dinab7852
      @dinab7852 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Thank you for this comment. Just the comment I needed to hear. This is exactly what happened to me.

    • @kahtnipp
      @kahtnipp หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@dinab7852 It does get better. Slowly but surely. I believe in you!

    • @dinab7852
      @dinab7852 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@kahtnipp Thank you!

  • @wandRng
    @wandRng หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    Freedom-its priceless. If you've been fortunate enough to get out, it may take time and conscience reconfiguring of the wiring, but you can and will heal. Godspeed to you all💙

  • @vickibazter3446
    @vickibazter3446 หลายเดือนก่อน +47

    The rollercoaster 🎢 pain is devastating. They are warm one minute, and they ice you out the next. Cold empathy. Just words. Never actions. They lie lie lie.

    • @dinab7852
      @dinab7852 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      EXACTLY!

    • @vickibazter3446
      @vickibazter3446 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@dinab7852 Hurts so much. 😢

    • @dinab7852
      @dinab7852 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      ​@@vickibazter3446 YUP!

    • @vickibazter3446
      @vickibazter3446 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@dinab7852 These people are inhumane. Period.

    • @vickitoker6582
      @vickitoker6582 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      😢 Cruel

  • @heyoldman2003
    @heyoldman2003 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    i too saw the red flags but thought with God and Patience I could fix her .. i saw how her family treated her like shit and if i just treated her with love n respect all would be fine .. i tried for 40 years… if you think they are Narcissistic, run and don’t look back. you can not help or fix them … period 😞. i am so happy those days , years are gone 😊

    • @jusbe47
      @jusbe47 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I hear this. I thought I could help mine, too. 27 years later, I've had to admit that no amount of perseverance or commitment will ever help. I cannot help her, and we're done. But I can now, finally help me - and I so deserve a better life. And I'm going to get it.

    • @heyoldman2003
      @heyoldman2003 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@jusbe47 Amen Brother

    • @russell4824
      @russell4824 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      ​@@jusbe47
      I wish you well.

    • @wandRng
      @wandRng หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@heyoldman2003sidenote, you're gorgeous

    • @ISNTCRAZY
      @ISNTCRAZY หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I second that observation ❤

  • @kennethkunz2449
    @kennethkunz2449 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Very well done, and this review really helps me by soothing the pain and confusion I feel - it's been taking me many months to get over the emotional and financial carnage caused by a narcissistic, gaslighting 'girlfriend'!

  • @choupette_
    @choupette_ หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    It’s so hard - such narcissistic people comment on things and nobody will believe that’s what they said. I didn’t want to give in and changed the topic when I was in the midst of the conversation . But when I relayed what they said I felt like I wasn’t believed. It left me feeling helpless and like I was the insecure idiot whereas I just need to understand better and not make myself a victim.

  • @LisaSmith-yb2uz
    @LisaSmith-yb2uz หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    It takes SOOOOO MUCH time, dedication, compassion, love, courage, and tremendous resilience to do this ❤

  • @Xenophanes198
    @Xenophanes198 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I allowed myself to remain entangled with her for 9 months even after the breakup and coming to the realization that she was a covert narcissist. I either gave into the hoover or broke NC myself. I'm so tired of being weak. I know she endlessly lies to me but I'm so trauma bonded I just haven't been able to break free. I'm now 10 days NC and I'm hoping six times is a charm.

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Wishing you strength and perseverance

    • @JohnSmith-wo7ns
      @JohnSmith-wo7ns หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm in the same situation, she wants to keep me on a string for when I'm useful to her. Even though I know she lies I still believe what she's saying when I talk to her. 🤯 It's only after I realise it's all bs. Obviously the best thing to do is no contact, I am trying. I know I sound pathetic but that's the reality at the mo.

    • @brianreed8271
      @brianreed8271 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@JohnSmith-wo7nsIt's really hard, but you have to do it. No contact is the only way. Stay strong brother, staying on the crazy train really is not an option.

    • @JohnSmith-wo7ns
      @JohnSmith-wo7ns หลายเดือนก่อน

      @brianreed8271 thanks Brian. You're totally right and I have to do it.

    • @clintonnagy1662
      @clintonnagy1662 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Oh man...I've been there many times. I wish you the best because it sucks. It's like having a parasite sucking the life from you.
      I hoovered back 50 times in 18 months. It was awful. I recently broke it off for 2 weeks but caught her on date with another guy the day after my birthday. There is NO shame and I was the villian for telling her how evil she is to replace me that soon. No respect !!! RUN...don't walk...RUN before she does the same to you. Show less and less interest and the relationship will fizzle. Be strong, and good luck my friend. Just be prepared for the withdrawal phaze....it sucks worse then the hoovering phaze because you have nothing but silence and then it feels uncomfortable because the chaos is finally gone.

  • @WillyNillyBaptistBilly
    @WillyNillyBaptistBilly หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Thank You Lisa!!! I have said it before; your video gave me the first insights into NPD I have ever had. You opened the door!!! Giving me insight with something I cant see how I would have ever been able to navigate without the Pandora box your information opened.

  • @m.k.darvesh209
    @m.k.darvesh209 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Ma'am you are absolutely correct.
    I respect you. You are guardian angel

  • @DarkPool314
    @DarkPool314 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Lise is 100% accurate in this post. I hope this reaches someone before it’s too late. In my opinion, hit repeat on this short video 1000 times so you actually get what she is saying. ❤

  • @ellobo1326
    @ellobo1326 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I lived it for 10 years with a female covert narcissist/sociopath. Lise is 100% spot on !

  • @heyoldman2003
    @heyoldman2003 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    and again …Thank you Lise❤️❤️ you are helping a whole generation.. you helped me through my darkest days . God Bless You 100 times 🙏🏼

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Thank you for your kind words 🙏

  • @ISNTCRAZY
    @ISNTCRAZY หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Lisa you’ve eased my mind with your sound and sincere advice . I didn’t even know what the word meant, I’m lacking the power to make the decision , I know what’s going to happen inevitably, the delusion of thinking that I could be a support system for positive and healthy change , oh well I guess I’ll have to rip the bandaid off and take my lumps .. I knew intuitively that something was seriously wrong… Lust Ugh!
    Well your on the Money Lisa thank you 😔

  • @lutherbuckhurst3887
    @lutherbuckhurst3887 หลายเดือนก่อน

    39 years of being a victim by her, i didnt know what was going on.
    The belittling, cheating, physical and mental abuse, 2 sessions for 10 weeks of being ignored, no food no acknowledgement, nothing.
    I thought i was rubbish, unloveable, but now after research im starting to understand that she is a narcissist.
    My life has been destroyed.
    At least now im gaining strength.

  • @morpheusblackmamba
    @morpheusblackmamba หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    You're gourgeous, Lise! Thanks for helping us all! ❤

  • @AND-od5jt
    @AND-od5jt หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    4:18 So right -- she hooked me again and again with false accusations, I responded with the facts (to set things straight) and she had me in her cycle again (ignoring those facts and starting to love bomb) -- by now I'm able to ignore it (all). Thanks Lise, you had definitly a part by naming the things 🙏🤟🖖 (last one is intended as the hebrew blessing, not the vulcan greeting -- but as Buehler says... your interpretation counts )

  • @masumszone7160
    @masumszone7160 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    After 13 years of marriage I have understood what I was going through.I have lost myself!

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  หลายเดือนก่อน

      I wish you all the best in your recovery

  • @JUMPforyourLIFE
    @JUMPforyourLIFE หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Thank you for this video. All of your videos have been very helpful in trying to understand my experience. ✔️✔️✔️

  • @licmir3663
    @licmir3663 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    It’s hard for quite some time, but once you accept that the narcissist is not the person from the love bombing stage, but the one who causes you so much harm later on, it becomes easier to move on. You cannot think that he or she is an “evil twin” and that your dear love is actually somewhere else, hoping to be found. Move on. Learn from what happened.

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      So true

    • @barebonesbrisco3954
      @barebonesbrisco3954 หลายเดือนก่อน

      YES!!!! I am coming to this realization now! The 1st her was the illusion the 2nd and 3rd her are more close to who she really is!

  • @leftymagoo2710
    @leftymagoo2710 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thanks Lise. I appreciate your concern and efforts to help resolve issues that we have with a narc.

  • @Thedisgardedoptimist
    @Thedisgardedoptimist หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Hi Lise, 4 months in now, what a ride! All points noted 💯 again...Thank you for being here ...☮️

  • @MeCynthiaAnn
    @MeCynthiaAnn หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    FOOOOR SURE….Thank you for the video
    God bless you from JANESVILLE, WI

  • @stephennichols90
    @stephennichols90 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The abuser does not deserve anything

  • @Guitarsouds
    @Guitarsouds หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Focus on saving yourself I like tha❤t

  • @brianmaginnis4296
    @brianmaginnis4296 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Another bullseye, Lise!

  • @ryancarter2386
    @ryancarter2386 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I have a narcissist is my life and have confronted her on it and she still claims she's not. I've been in this toxic loop with her for a year and a half. It's now gotten to a point where she ghosts me anytime I say anything that conflicts with her words or beliefs. It's very difficult because I love her dearly but she constantly disappoints me and lacks any sort of empathy. It's as if as long as I don't go along for her ride I'm disposable it's truly hurtful and I have brought this up to her many times and she tells me I'm the toxic one.

  • @rascallyrabbit
    @rascallyrabbit หลายเดือนก่อน

    I learned to practice the stoic beliefs. never allow people to mistreat you. see what they do and judge that. no second chances. walk away.

  • @m.servat3447
    @m.servat3447 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Excellent analysis.

  • @carryonsailing
    @carryonsailing หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    another great one Lise

  • @maunabot5292
    @maunabot5292 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thanks yo you I avoided a very unhealty relationship. But I also played ger game and won.

  • @oliverrojas3185
    @oliverrojas3185 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Thanks

  • @drahusz
    @drahusz หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Another great video

  • @brucelawson642
    @brucelawson642 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Love your show. Thank you😊

  • @alphakapitalist8146
    @alphakapitalist8146 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Your Videos helped me so much ! 😉😘

  • @jeffsutherland141
    @jeffsutherland141 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    My entire life I suffered at the feet of a father that is a narcissist. My whole life i was expecting better things from him. But not once did he ever come through. In fact he was against me my entire life. I now know what to expect from him and he is now out of my life.

    • @wandRng
      @wandRng หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yayyyyyyyyy🎉and my condolences 😢it's a strange place to be, isn't it.

  • @user-et5qs2en4c
    @user-et5qs2en4c หลายเดือนก่อน

    This video nailed my relationship,very unhappy now 😢

  • @matthewdean3733
    @matthewdean3733 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Your disclaimer is understandable....having said that...I have alot of experience with these " so called " professionals....and more than half of them make me feel much worse after I engage with them.....alcohol on the other hand never let's me down....doesn't talk back....and is much cheaper.....sorry for the dark thought...but I think you believe me when I say that honesty is the best policy....

  • @JohnSmith-wo7ns
    @JohnSmith-wo7ns หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    They are the best actors so the best liars. They are manipulation masters. It's hard but try to ignore the words and concentrate on their actions. They quickly reveal themselves to be self obsessed selfish deceitful aggressive monsters. The sooner you leave the quicker you'll recover.

  • @samr1541
    @samr1541 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

    hey Lise, I have a question. I recently broke up with my girlfriend who I strongly believe is a covert narcissist based on your video’s and books that I’ve read. Fortunately, many of my friends life somewhere else so she didn’t see them often. But she entered my class in the 2nd year of my scholarship since she had to “re-do her 2nd year”. She is close to many friends of mine in my class and I wonder what I should do. It’s a scholarship that I love with friends that I like. I want my friends from class to know the truth but also don’t want to start a riot. How do I cut ties with someone like that in this situation?

  • @AND-od5jt
    @AND-od5jt หลายเดือนก่อน

    Oh, just to mention... the thumbnail says "says 10 mistakes"... maybe split the "change" into the relation/the narc/yourself not to give the h8ers any ammunition. And thanks again!

  • @TheBroSplit
    @TheBroSplit หลายเดือนก่อน

    Lisa about how long doees it take for the "mask" to slip off?

    • @sinntax
      @sinntax หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It depends on when you are able to set boundaries.

  • @jorgeluiscapiello414
    @jorgeluiscapiello414 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    My evil ex wife.

  • @tjkashatus6004
    @tjkashatus6004 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Gaslighting, blame shifting, you don't care about me, all my health problems are your fault, the list goes on and on....

  • @insignia2543
    @insignia2543 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Why do you use this term narcissist? Wouldn't NPD be a good term to use for people with actual narcissism. We all have narcissist traits? So why as a professional are you using these terms? Isn't it important to draw the line between NPD and narcissistic traits? To me this seems confusing and I think it could cause people with actual NPD to be stigmatized, also people with other mental illnesses who have narcissist traits being labeled by society with a label that may not be true, but was taught to them on youtube.

    • @wandRng
      @wandRng หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      If you know, you know.

  • @Sameoldfitup
    @Sameoldfitup หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I am a Narcissist, but not by choice 😅

  • @James-Deep
    @James-Deep 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    The biggest mistake you can make is getting a narcissist pregnant.

  • @timelesspugs
    @timelesspugs 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Wow! What a way to put the negative spin on a mental illness. Maybe finding some compassion for people with this disorder will help. The best way to help someone with this illness is understanding why they are the way they are. People don't just become this way with out reason. I understand there is no way an empath can help them. However there is help out there for them. They are human too. I'm going to unsubscribe since you're using negative social stigma about NPD.

  • @IHitANazi
    @IHitANazi หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    When they talk in the 3rd person "we have a towel regime here' " ,I'm like who's we it's only you and regime,I don't think you can have a regime for one person and how would I know about said regime

    • @nicetalkintoya
      @nicetalkintoya หลายเดือนก่อน

      have u noticed Lise's cans? I was surprised.

    • @IHitANazi
      @IHitANazi หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@nicetalkintoya Can't say I noticed but yes she is very attractive