Yes. Military training, for instance, discourages empathy and funnels compassion to the "unit", a good hyper-tribal strategy that comes in handy for staying alive in the heat of battle. Hard choices are most certainly made harder by feeling the pain of others.
Most definitely. They're more agreeable, have patience, feel more, see more, wear their hearts on their sleeves, understands the other person's perspective, which together with strong emotions alters their perception of everything; making it easy for narcissists to gain control over, and indeed others to manipulate...
@@Robert-yc9ql LOL yeah GREAT point, killing people is definitely harder when you think of them as human beings no different from yourself. What a truly terrifying point of view you have brought to the table.
Empathy burns out, though it gives the sense of urgency Compassion does not. I think it is wise to attempt to master both in the most productive way rather than just trying to avoid Empathy at all cost.
thats what i believe too , balance is everything... if you know how to use in the right way,and not to be too much of anything, what there is in you i believe you can have a very good mental health!!!!
Now this episode is a weird one if I could even call it that. It's somewhat true though. I'm very empathetic. So much so that i feel for the other person (relationship) that its made me withdraw and turtle all together in the painful memory's. Maybe i should be less empathetic to just get on with life more freely 😔
@@nfreddyyy what works for me is a strongly developed sense of self. You may not be able to control feeling the emotions brought on by the presence of others, but you can use those feelings in a way that honors who you are. Focus on the helping (the compassion), and if the other person isn't having it, move on. It doesn't mean giving up on them, but they may not be ready to receive what you have to offer, or they may choose not to receive it. And learn to spot manipulators. There are those who will attempt to abuse your empathy. It only takes one to crush you. Once you learn to spot them, you will know when to put up your wall. It can even be fun. If someone starts to mess with you, you can act hurt, but while you're busy acting, you can come up with a punchy one-liner to flip their game and crush their own confidence at their ability to manipulate. It lets them know that you see them for what they are, and that you aren't having any of it. I'm getting better at that myself.
Council: The Jedi forego all attachments and bonds as the associated emotions could lead them astray while mastering the Force. Us: Have you just tried supporting their mental health to be balanced and healthy in a productive manner? Do you even have mental health counseling? Council: ...
When I was training as a therapist, I was taught what I consider a balanced approach to empathy. My professor described it as filter ing the clients' feelings through your heart, but then moving back into your mind. This approach let me practice empathy with my clients without burning out.
A major flaw in the thesis of having a councilor who feels and understands their patients, on a next level as can experience the pain and trauma effects they are going through for them self … would cripple them the same as the person untrained and unfocused has been effected via those traumas where these mental issues arises from originally for the patient.. Because we are speaking on this person being a professional shaman or psychologists , who will be the ones working with those emotions and traumas .. they should automatically be able to control and heal it in time enough for no major damage or lasting effects to occur to the psyche.. many are out there who soak in such thought and emotional consciousness.. many are out there who relieve others of their toxic energies weighing them down and attacking them , as well as all those around the patients. You learn how to take care of your self and others .. how to balance and harmonize such chaotic free agents of thoughts , emotions and consciousness connections being made and sustained in unhealthy or dangerous for the persons wave lengths .. There is of course always a risk one can over work them self and bite more than can chew .. but we learn from our mistakes .. same as medical professionals who deal with more challenging cases such as medical surgeons. It can be managed :) and all can be assured and assisted therefore that they too can learn to manage the symptoms of their mental illness.. just need time and practice .. to identify and heal the core causes so to rid of the symptoms. That’s so easier done when can feel and know just by being in the same room or by laying hands to connect our consciousness.. it’s not a down fall to be a powerful empathetic individual.. it’s a bless from the creator and sustainer of all life IMO .. a blessing that allows us to be extra aware , informed and capable to assist our brothers and sisters of Mother Nature for when they are injured and in need of all types of healing. I hope you all have a blessed day and keep an open mind to try out anything first before judging or dismissing it all. I hope all find solutions and cures for all issues and illnesses effecting your level of quality of life. Good luck wishes to you all , much love and respect to you all, and may God / the creator force of all consciousness and life ..please bless this day for all sharing this amazing and beautiful life on this one of a kind wonderful planet of such diversity and density of all spiritual expressions of the one soul of the universe we are all fractals of. :) god bless you all.
It all comes to mutual respect. We are all poor human beings living on the earth, no matter who we are. Shame most people today cares only about themselves
I think you got it backwards - empathy is the first step to treating people like human beings. Empathy isn't a state of being, it's an unconscious reaction. But like any unconscious reaction, you can make a habit of doing it consciously, which in turn makes your reactions generally more empathic. With practice, even sociopaths can learn to empathize, and even major empaths can learn to control that reaction when it's counterproductive. The brain is an amazing thing. But yeah people that are rude to waiters and customer service reps are assholes. Being rude to salespeople I'm more inclined to understand haha...
Waiters check out girls and the homeless . No one dreams of working check out in a supermarket, the homeless have many stories of how they ended up, it's not all drugs and mental illness but circumstances of life. Walk in someone's moccasins for a bit.
I find the distinction made here between empathy and compassion very interesting. I believe that in this context the key words are awareness and objectivity. Consciousness to have the discipline to look outwards, including the essential, i.e. others, and the objectivity to understand their behavior and their state of mind without being destabilized by their possible suffering. This is what allows us to be fully human and to provide useful solutions.
I totally agree Marc. I think Empathy is an intellectual understanding of someone elses' perspectives. While Compassion is emotionally resonating with them. imo Compassion can be exhausting, while Empathy is an extremely powerful tool. Compassion can sometimes get in the way, as your emotional state changes drasticaly based on (your perception of) what others are feeling (e.g. what Paul Bloom is talking about). A empathic doctor on the otherhand, would recognise a patient's anxiety and adjust for it; but not feel anxious themselves. I feel that this video sometimes unusefully conflates the two concepts.
A major flaw in the thesis of having a councilor who feels and understands their patients, on a next level as can experience the pain and trauma effects they are going through for them self … would cripple them the same as the person untrained and unfocused has been effected via those traumas where these mental issues arises from originally for the patient.. Because we are speaking on this person being a professional shaman or psychologists , who will be the ones working with those emotions and traumas .. they should automatically be able to control and heal it in time enough for no major damage or lasting effects to occur to the psyche.. many are out there who soak in such thought and emotional consciousness.. many are out there who relieve others of their toxic energies weighing them down and attacking them , as well as all those around the patients. You learn how to take care of your self and others .. how to balance and harmonize such chaotic free agents of thoughts , emotions and consciousness connections being made and sustained in unhealthy or dangerous for the persons wave lengths .. There is of course always a risk one can over work them self and bite more than can chew .. but we learn from our mistakes .. same as medical professionals who deal with more challenging cases such as medical surgeons. It can be managed :) and all can be assured and assisted therefore that they too can learn to manage the symptoms of their mental illness.. just need time and practice .. to identify and heal the core causes so to rid of the symptoms. That’s so easier done when can feel and know just by being in the same room or by laying hands to connect our consciousness.. it’s not a down fall to be a powerful empathetic individual.. it’s a bless from the creator and sustainer of all life IMO .. a blessing that allows us to be extra aware , informed and capable to assist our brothers and sisters of Mother Nature for when they are injured and in need of all types of healing. I hope you all have a blessed day and keep an open mind to try out anything first before judging or dismissing it all. I hope all find solutions and cures for all issues and illnesses effecting your level of quality of life. Good luck wishes to you all , much love and respect to you all, and may God / the creator force of all consciousness and life ..please bless this day for all sharing this amazing and beautiful life on this one of a kind wonderful planet of such diversity and density of all spiritual expressions of the one soul of the universe we are all fractals of. :) god bless you all.
Compassion is a intellectual exercise … just using your imagination and connecting on how it repeats and relates to your own life experiences and pains ..it’s all about you really is where compassion stems from .. and the level of that compassion only extends there fore so far and in so many ways .. where as empathy has no limits as these empathy is a consciousness and emotional experience.. empathy is truly understanding , knowing and connecting .. empathy is limitless connecting and reflecting truly that persons thoughts , emotions ,desires , pains , accomplishments , moments of pride and pettiness ,their woes and needs .. All do respect .. but …truly ..simply put.. empathy is needed more than ever for humanity to get out of this mess that compassion got us in.
I think this explanation of empathy vs compassion is extremely valuable. My life has been adversely affected by feeling too much of another's pain. Way too much. I'm going to meditate on this and move forward with more compassion, less empathy. Thank you so much.
There can not be compassion without going through empathy first. In order to have compassion of your struggles, I need to have an emotional understanding of it: by shared experience, or by being able to relate or whatever. (Example: if I have never been depressed, or if I have never experience the pain of loss, I might just overlook those feelings in another person and be prone to minimize them) Compassion is, therefore, a 'trained' form of empathy, were you are able to feel the other person struggles, but are also able to not be "sucked in" to the point of non-functionality, or to the point of not being able to help.
Compassion is a intellectual exercise … just using your imagination and connecting on how it repeats and relates to your own life experiences and pains ..it’s all about you really is where compassion stems from .. and the level of that compassion only extends there fore so far and in so many ways .. where as empathy has no limits as these empathy is a consciousness and emotional experience.. empathy is truly understanding , knowing and connecting .. empathy is limitless connecting and reflecting truly that persons thoughts , emotions ,desires , pains , accomplishments , moments of pride and pettiness ,their woes and needs .. All do respect .. but …truly ..simply put.. empathy is needed more than ever for humanity to get out of this mess that compassion got us in.
Empathy: understanding another's emotion based on a shared experience...for example loss of parent. Sympathy: compassion for another's emotion without shared experience.
No, empathy is when you view the situation from their lens but even so you could not give a care in the world. On the other hand sympathy is the same as empathy but you feel a sense of care towards the person.
@@arsenal0095 and @3u-kaz IV I'm not tryna be mean but... what in the world are either of you talking about? I think you might want to check out a dictionary. Gre Gre your definition of empathy is incorrect in any context. If someone does what you are saying they are not empathizing, in fact that's closer to sociopathy. And 3u-kaz IV sympathy and pity are basically synonyms, but sympathy doesn't as often take on a negative connotation. But I think I uderstand where you're coming from - English, American English at least, is an absolute mess because we commonly use words to mean their opposite in a twisted and cynical way. For example: "I sympathize, but I think you should get over it." That's an example of using a word that means compassion to soften the fact that you don't actually give a shit. "Sorry I'm not sorry" kind of thing.
It’s not based on a shared experience, because you are never assuming that someone feels exactly how you felt. You’re putting yourself in their shoes and putting your own shoes to one side, while you walk in theirs. As others have said, sympathy is like pity. It’s actually not very helpful. Go find Brene Brown’s animation of sympathy vs empathy.
i can see his point on empathy and compassion but both are essential for a deeper understanding in life. It seems like the example he kept using just highlighted a certain aspect of empathy and how people can get lost in it. But that doesn't mean we need less of it, we need to understand it better and use it in tandem with compassionate action.
I have mixed feelings on this. I consider myself a very empathetic and compassionate person, both. And, yes, I *do* often feel the weight of the world. (Mostly because I see a LACK of both empathy and compassion, and it saddens me.) ...But while compassion might be what motivates you to bring dinner over to a friend's house who has just experienced tragedy -- empathy is when that friend wraps you in a bear hug, or holds your hand and cries with you. And there is a time and a place for both. Also, I think that this video overlooks the role of women on this planet. Women are rockstars at both compassion and empathy. Women are capable of _feeling_ -- and feeling strongly. Empathy is when a mom sacrifices herself for her child -- because she _knows_ the depths of pain, and she would rather take that on than watch her child suffer. And women give their bodies and often sense of self just to have a child. Women's empathy is part of what's kept the human race alive. Lastly, empathy is often a necessary ingredient for _recognizing_ others' suffering -- and then making personal sacrifices, to improve OTHERS' quality of life. For instance, you don't eat animals, because you can see and feel their suffering and pain. Or you change your lifestyle and daily habits to be more environmental -- because you see the planet and its creatures struggling, and because you worry about and care for future generations. Empathy can also be positive: you see someone attain a goal, or recover from illness, or belly laugh -- and you experience happiness / gratitude / excitement along with them. While I understand your point that compassion may lend to more productivity, and that empathy can bog you down -- there is a time and a place for empathy. ...And when I meet other empathetic personalities, I can recognize them immediately -- as trusted, benevolent people, who look out for others. They are usually, safe, perceptive, and conscientious people, who are open-minded and giving. ...So, maybe we do what we can to cherish and protect them. . Because yes, people _can_ take advantage of them. But god knows, the world could use more of them.
I don’t think anyone is saying that empathy ought be eliminated. A lot of people would go mad if we demanded that of them. Paul Bloom is really the primary opponent to empathy in this video, and a big part of his concern is that empathy is necessarily selective. Every time. And it is impossible to use it in a fair way. It doesn’t just make you inefficient. If you choose to make it the entire determinate of your morality, it makes you a bigot. One way or another, you’re giving someone an unfair advantage. Empathy only really evolved to maintain the cohesiveness of groups of about 100-500. The more empathy you have for one party, the more you’re likely to unjustly vilify parties perceived as competition. When it comes to animal rights, as you mentioned, that probably required you to exercise some conscious discipline over your empathy. It required you to take your limited emotional reserves and withdraw them from people you naturally cared about and direct them to those outside of your purview. So, you’re already more in agreement than I think you realized. The remaining danger is *needing* to feel for someone in order to care about them, because you’ll never be able to expand those emotional reserves enough to be fair to every soul who enters your courts.
@@somexp12 I think we're on totally different pages. But I appreciate your insight. We obviously come from different walks of life, but that's ok. I can honestly say that I have empathy for all creatures on the planet. I know that sounds bonkers. But it's in more of a general sense. I think the trick is not to get overwhelmed -- because it does no one favors if we take on aaalllll the suffering and cry all day. Empathy is best when channeled into action. I also would like to think that there is ZERO correlation between empathy and bigotry. Ignorance breeds bigotry, not empathy. And I'm a life-long veg. Avoiding meat does not take from my "limited emotional reserves." I just wake up and not eat meat. I don't want to harm creatures. It's not hard not to do. Done deal. And, to me, it's not a choice between animals and "emotional reserves." In my mind, it's basic policy that all creatures deserve respect. ....Animals often live _entire_ lives of extreme suffering, so a human can enjoy it for 5-10 minutes, and that blows my mind. And in most first-world countries, meat is totally optional. ...Whether we like to admit it or not, this is species-ism. And many people are ok with that. I get that. But it is also exclusivist and self-serving, and some might also argue, prejudice. I, personally, just think it's good policy to walk through life with a general "incur no-harm" policy. As much as I can. ...Yes, there can be an emotional toll, but to me, empathy and empathetic people are much needed, and I am always grateful for them!!
Yeah, I had very similar thoughts on this. But once they introduced "compassion" I took it as a language barrier. Let me explain. All these terms mean different things to different people. I think often people argue pointless arguments cuz the root cause of disagreement is on nomenclature (labelling shit). I think, in this case, empathy for sure is mandatory for compassion to even exist (which they do not mention here, so good point there). Otherwise how would you even recognise issues people are having? But I think what they mean here is that it is often beneficial to all parties to lean towards compassion here. E.g. say you have a friend who is severely depressed. In a group setting, their depression actually spreads to the other members of the group. Bringing the mood down. In these cases it can often be helpful to somewhat distance yourself, but still have compassion (which sometimes for sure is easier said than done). If through empathy, you also become somewhat depressed yourself, it will greatly impair your capacity for finding solutions. That is what I got out of this video anyway...
You made some great points! Bottom line is that some empathy is natural and vital for authentic relationships and building compassion and education. But too much would be distracting, counter-productive and inefficient. I think self-awareness and reflection is key in managing this. But I do agree with you that we need more empathy in this world
I actually changed my Dr because she showed no emotion with me. If I’m in pain and expressing with with her. I don’t want her to fall apart but it would really goes a long way if she would not look at me blankly. I moved to another Dr who charged more but because I always feel a sense of humanity with her I don’t mind paying extra.
I get burned out easily. Feeling what others are feeling... Sometimes I just can't take it. But the point of compassion being different, and mindfulness developing that instead of empathy is something I must try. I don't want to give up on caring for people.
Empathy is good up until you start "feeling" through a situation instead of thinking. In the reaction to other peoples thoughts is were the empathic response comes in.
Balance is the key to life, and the answer to many many questions. If only i were good with that, terrible equilibrium , the mighty smiter hath smited me with the balance of a toddler.
Compassion is a intellectual exercise … just using your imagination and connecting on how it repeats and relates to your own life experiences and pains ..it’s all about you really is where compassion stems from .. and the level of that compassion only extends there fore so far and in so many ways .. where as empathy has no limits as these empathy is a consciousness and emotional experience.. empathy is truly understanding , knowing and connecting .. empathy is limitless connecting and reflecting truly that persons thoughts , emotions ,desires , pains , accomplishments , moments of pride and pettiness ,their woes and needs .. All do respect .. but …truly ..simply put.. empathy is needed more than ever for humanity to get out of this mess that compassion got us in.
They are brushing over the fact that in those tests most of those people possess empathy. When you remove empathy completely you have a personality disorder of narcissism or antisocial pd. (on a spectrum of cluster B according to several specialists) Those people are growing in number and they cause chaos and pain everywhere they go. 🙁
i was born empathic, very strongly so. i feel other people's physical pain, as well as their mental and emotional issues. yes, it can be overwhelming, but it can also be incredibly insightful. and it can be beautiful when you're sharing positive emotions. compassion is necessary, for sure, 'cause we should all look out for each other. but empathy is necessary when you're trying to understand why people feel and think the way they do.
How did you come to believe that you were "born" empathic? That sounds like a genetic claim, is it? Are you claiming that if you saw a stranger break their leg, you would also collapse in pain and require prescription pain medication to feel normal? I'm having a difficult time understanding what it physically means to identify as a born empath.
@@zlac Yes, I was thinking the same thing. There's obviously a big difference between "fake" empathy and "real" empathy. The "real" is very quiet, but the "fake" is deafening!
*_1_* What is the meaning of life? To go beyond the self-centered activity of the mind, which is *_love._* *_2_* Love is the foundation of everything-love for whatever you do and for others. *_3_* When love is, the self is not. *_4_* Love begets compassion and empathy. 💕 ☮ 🌎 🌌
A major flaw in the thesis of having a councilor who feels and understands their patients, on a next level as can experience the pain and trauma effects they are going through for them self … would cripple them the same as the person untrained and unfocused has been effected via those traumas where these mental issues arises from originally for the patient.. Because we are speaking on this person being a professional shaman or psychologists , who will be the ones working with those emotions and traumas .. they should automatically be able to control and heal it in time enough for no major damage or lasting effects to occur to the psyche.. many are out there who soak in such thought and emotional consciousness.. many are out there who relieve others of their toxic energies weighing them down and attacking them , as well as all those around the patients. You learn how to take care of your self and others .. how to balance and harmonize such chaotic free agents of thoughts , emotions and consciousness connections being made and sustained in unhealthy or dangerous for the persons wave lengths .. There is of course always a risk one can over work them self and bite more than can chew .. but we learn from our mistakes .. same as medical professionals who deal with more challenging cases such as medical surgeons. It can be managed :) and all can be assured and assisted therefore that they too can learn to manage the symptoms of their mental illness.. just need time and practice .. to identify and heal the core causes so to rid of the symptoms. That’s so easier done when can feel and know just by being in the same room or by laying hands to connect our consciousness.. it’s not a down fall to be a powerful empathetic individual.. it’s a bless from the creator and sustainer of all life IMO .. a blessing that allows us to be extra aware , informed and capable to assist our brothers and sisters of Mother Nature for when they are injured and in need of all types of healing. I hope you all have a blessed day and keep an open mind to try out anything first before judging or dismissing it all. I hope all find solutions and cures for all issues and illnesses effecting your level of quality of life. Good luck wishes to you all , much love and respect to you all, and may God / the creator force of all consciousness and life ..please bless this day for all sharing this amazing and beautiful life on this one of a kind wonderful planet of such diversity and density of all spiritual expressions of the one soul of the universe we are all fractals of. :) god bless you all.
Compassion is a intellectual exercise … just using your imagination and connecting on how it repeats and relates to your own life experiences and pains ..it’s all about you really is where compassion stems from .. and the level of that compassion only extends there fore so far and in so many ways .. where as empathy has no limits as these empathy is a consciousness and emotional experience.. empathy is truly understanding , knowing and connecting .. empathy is limitless connecting and reflecting truly that persons thoughts , emotions ,desires , pains , accomplishments , moments of pride and pettiness ,their woes and needs .. All do respect .. but …truly ..simply put.. empathy is needed more than ever for humanity to get out of this mess that compassion got us in.
It reduces stress and fosters resilience, trust, healing, personal growth, creativity, learning and nourishing connection. Empathy also transforms conflict, and supports sustainable collaborative action and positive social change.👍
Nice biased bullshit sentence but why should the abused have empathy for their abuser while they're abused? Your broad generalizations about "empathy" is ignorant, dangerous, and childlike. grow your mind before posting your baby babble on the internet.
@@BD-lq4id why should the abused have empathy for their abuser? Because otherwise they run the risk of turning into the monster that abused them, only they'll be abusing themselves all the time and they won't be able to get away this time. Love your enemies
As an aspie, empathy is difficult to feel, but when I do, I *feel* it. Let's just say last year was rough, as people were getting brutalized by police on TV.
A major flaw in the thesis of having a councilor who feels and understands their patients, on a next level as can experience the pain and trauma effects they are going through for them self … would cripple them the same as the person untrained and unfocused has been effected via those traumas where these mental issues arises from originally for the patient.. Because we are speaking on this person being a professional shaman or psychologists , who will be the ones working with those emotions and traumas .. they should automatically be able to control and heal it in time enough for no major damage or lasting effects to occur to the psyche.. many are out there who soak in such thought and emotional consciousness.. many are out there who relieve others of their toxic energies weighing them down and attacking them , as well as all those around the patients. You learn how to take care of your self and others .. how to balance and harmonize such chaotic free agents of thoughts , emotions and consciousness connections being made and sustained in unhealthy or dangerous for the persons wave lengths .. There is of course always a risk one can over work them self and bite more than can chew .. but we learn from our mistakes .. same as medical professionals who deal with more challenging cases such as medical surgeons. It can be managed :) and all can be assured and assisted therefore that they too can learn to manage the symptoms of their mental illness.. just need time and practice .. to identify and heal the core causes so to rid of the symptoms. That’s so easier done when can feel and know just by being in the same room or by laying hands to connect our consciousness.. it’s not a down fall to be a powerful empathetic individual.. it’s a bless from the creator and sustainer of all life IMO .. a blessing that allows us to be extra aware , informed and capable to assist our brothers and sisters of Mother Nature for when they are injured and in need of all types of healing. I hope you all have a blessed day and keep an open mind to try out anything first before judging or dismissing it all. I hope all find solutions and cures for all issues and illnesses effecting your level of quality of life. Good luck wishes to you all , much love and respect to you all, and may God / the creator force of all consciousness and life ..please bless this day for all sharing this amazing and beautiful life on this one of a kind wonderful planet of such diversity and density of all spiritual expressions of the one soul of the universe we are all fractals of. :) god bless you all.
Basically... observe both others and as well as your self, feel the emotions as they arise, accept them and find compassion for yourself and others. Understand and allow yourself to feel the emotions, but do not cling to them nor judge yourself or others for the emotions that are felt
I'm seeing this video a few years late. I'm an overly sensitive empath and have been feeling all the feels of everything... The whales tummies, birds and others bellies being full of plastic, the earth and the damage humans are causing, the children possibly in my neighborhood being abused, deprived of food and love, the criminals who have been wrongfully accused... Mother and fathers being enslaved in work not being able to be a 'family'. Big corporations not genuinely caring about the consumption of their goods but just caring about profits.. So many other things.... I have been feeling these feelings for too long and losing my will to keep going.. This video was helpful.
The truth of the matter is that people always think that empathy is always the way to go when understanding and connecting with people. I believe that understanding should not be the end all for a person. We should be willing to formulate resolutions as much as possible so as to really help the person move forward with what one is currently experiencing. Compassionate empathy is the way to go.
I'd make a lousy doctor or therapist. I once had a psychiatrist tell me I suffered from 'an excess of empathy'. I can see how that would be a problem in a therapeutic setting, but otherwise I wouldn't change. I'm not clear, though, on the difference between 'empathy' and 'compassion'. They seem to me to be one and the same.
He's saying that the two get used interchangeably in regular conversation, which is fine, but that there is a difference between literally feeling pain by imagining the pain someone else is feeling, and realizing that someone is in pain and trying to help them without actually letting yourself dive into that pain. I've actually come across this recently, a friend of mine is in a bad place, broke up with his girlfriend, recovering from alcoholism, really down about the state of the world. And I realized after talking to him a few times that I was not being very helpful to him, because I always started sort of reflecting what he was giving off which was not the feedback he was looking for. I'm like you - I don't agree with the psychologist in this video that empathy is bad, in my opinion you have to have empathy before you can have compassion, but I understand what he means when he says too much empathy can get in the way of helping someone, in that way.
@@SteveZeugner Thank you. I found that to be a much better definition of the distinction between the two than what I was hearing from the speaker. And I agree - I don't believe the psychologist was correct in his statement that empathy is bad - he might have said 'inconvenient' or 'unhelpful', and been more clear. At least, to me. :)
Empathy also goes the positive way too. When u cry tears of joy after watching a powerful father son moment in a movie or when u cry at a wedding. thats empathy. Its not all bad feelings
A lorry driver told me how he drove with borderline recklessness, upon hearing his son had just died, to get to his sons deceased body. I now leave space, for drivers in a hurry to get somewhere I hope is not as tragic as this scenario, or pull over to let them get by.
100% agree with the difference between empathy and compassion. Metta (loving kindness) meditation helps you actually feel good for imagining the other person deeply happy and without suffering, helps you actually do something for the person that's suffering, you should take a look at Sam Harris takes on this
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@Andy Martin Sure we see unprofessional broker but they are lucrative and professional broker looking for investors that's why I always talk about Scott Austin
Very good explanation on differentating between empathy and compassion. Compassion is therapeutic. Empathy is probably not so. Thanks for a very scientific narration.
It is to my understanding that what makes a person good is not some innate characteristic but rather how much pleasure and suffering that person is causing for others. Empathy is often considered a very virtuous characteristic but it can also make you very partial because you only feel for the pleasure and suffering of those you know. Empathy only accounts for people living today and it's usually very biased in favor of large amounts of pleasure or suffering (which isn't great if that large amount is for a very small group if the large group is feeling something smaller in return).
I consider Empathy as seeing the situation as seen by the other, not participating in the feelings. Understanding rather than agreeing. A big part of Verbal Judo is the use of “Tactical Empathy”.
Empathy is the feeling and compassion is the action. Empathy doesn’t always produce healthy outcomes. Social media and 24/7 news cycle is overloading people. We aren’t built to be empathetic for everyone all the time. That’s too stressful. Empathy is meant for close community groups. It’s okay to feel for people you don’t know but you need to quickly let it go when you can’t do anything to alleviate the suffering of others. Also, empathy can be used as a weapon. Bullies can use their empathy to torment people. People can use their empathy to manipulate others.
Compassion is a intellectual exercise … just using your imagination and connecting on how it repeats and relates to your own life experiences and pains ..it’s all about you really is where compassion stems from .. and the level of that compassion only extends there fore so far and in so many ways .. where as empathy has no limits as these empathy is a consciousness and emotional experience.. empathy is truly understanding , knowing and connecting .. empathy is limitless connecting and reflecting truly that persons thoughts , emotions ,desires , pains , accomplishments , moments of pride and pettiness ,their woes and needs .. All do respect .. but …truly ..simply put.. empathy is needed more than ever for humanity to get out of this mess that compassion got us in.
There is a HUGE difference between cognitive empathy, where you guess someone’s feelings based on your past experience, and emotional empathy, where you feel emotions not your own. EG a mother with no empathy (these exist) will know if a child is crying to do something, but will offer the child no way to learn how to manage their negative emotions which is a big deficit for the child.
I am an empath, i can't turn empathy off, it is exhausting... when in survival mode, a tribe will persecute the most empathetic creative thinkers, because the tribe might need to unify to survive... that is when the psychopaths take control, with the support of the majority... minorities get squashed, art is destroyed, culture lost... in the world today, we are run by sociopathic systems capable of much positive change, being run by selfish psychopaths, who do not place the future of humanity, as a priority worth their consideration... putting empathy into a corporate system so that it adequately responds while serving shareholder interests, to me, requires back to basics definitions, of what wealth is, and how small part, cash is a part of that...
Empathy without compassion is futile and creates more suffering, but the same is true of compassion without empathy. It's not relying on one or the other, but the application of both in harmony, that is the best recipe for success. You can learn to notice other people, but if you don't also love them, you may not be a positive force for them; and if you learn to love others without truly seeing them, that love is ignorant, indulgent, and exposed.
If you forget that you can only imagine what another person is going through, that you can only approximate how they might be feeling, empathy quickly turns into narcissism.
I think there's a simple formulation that goes further with Paul Bloom's points. Empathy is supposed to power compassion. Empathy is supposed to burst and stop early, and recur, not too often and not too infrequent. Maybe pure compassion is possible with practice but for most people it will slip away without periodic hits of empathy. The issue is it does its best work in flashes and moments, not a constant stream.
Is empathy 1. having the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing? 2. or is it experiencing what another person is experiencing? Those two are not the same.
@@ROHAN51717 Exactly, empathy makes you experience what you THINK the other person is experiencing. It's not some ESP magic or anything ... at least as far as I know it's not
Empathy is a necessary tool, like a hammer. But using a hammer to break into a home or damage property would not be beneficial or the proper use of the tool. It's not empathy (the tool) that is problematic but the way we utilize and respond to our empathy (the tool) which can be problematic. Its useful to understand someone's alcoholism empathetically so we can help them, but not useful to encourage the alcoholism just because we can now understand why they drink
Another way empathy can be bad is if you want to hurt someone, the best way to do that is to really understand, empathize with someone but have no compassion. You understand exactly what to say/do/act to maximize pain for that person. Most people can't do this without their conscious stopping them, but many people do. Sociopaths are known for being able to turn empathy on and off, and most abusers weaponize empathy too.
I appreciate many of the comments. When I got to Paul Bloom I had the sense that he was talking about something other than empathy-perhaps sympathy. Some definition could be useful.
research compared empathy for suffering with compassion for love. isnt it basic to compare effects in same setting, empathy vs compassion in suffering separate from empathy vs compassion in love. because both emotions are similar just balance varies. @7:32 exactly
People who have more empathy are the same as people who have more compassion. People who have no empathy (psychopath, antisocial, narcissist), they have no compassion either. They also have no shame. So they show up in this video, and rationalize against empathy.
What Paul Bloom calls Empathy is actually Sympathy, and what he calls Compassion is actually Empathy. Of course, semantics aside, the point is that _understanding_ what someone else is feeling can be a valuable tool, but investing so deeply that _their_ feelings become _your own_ can lead to a lack of productive objectivity. Along that line, it's important to remember that "The Golden Rule" (in all its many forms) doesn't require you to imagine what _they_ feel, simply to treat them how you would want them to treat _you._ P.S. I love the empathy exercise Alan Alda discusses!
I think you're just splitting hairs with verb definitions. If the point of Bloom's argument stands but you just changed the words he used then what's your actual contribution to the discussion? Why not use any random set of verbs like "Absquatulate" and "Prevaricate"?
@@sharpienate First of all, _Bloom_ was the one who started with the splitting of semantic hairs. Second, the alternative verbs you offered (while awesome) don't fit the topic. Third, at the risk of employing a Tu Quoque fallacy, by criticizing my lack of meaningful contribution while _also_ contributing nothing meaningful (beyond criticism) you just did exactly what you accuse me of doing. Finally, I think the observation that Reciprocity doesn't necessarily _require_ Empathy _is_ a meaningful contribution to the topic at hand.
Empathy as described by Bill Nye is literally impossible. I cannot possibly feel what you feel and you cannot possibly feel what I feel. I can only feel what I would feel if I were in your shoes and you can only feel what you would feel if you were in my shoes. I can also understand intellectually what you are going through but that is quite a bit different from actually experiencing it. Finally, you can approximate what I feel and I can approximate what you feel.based on our past experiences that are similar. For example, If both of us have lost a parent, I can certainly remember how I felt but does that means I actually feel in the moment EXACTLY what you feel? No, that impossible. So the real problem is we seem to have a concept that is an approximation of an ideal but it is necessarily not so in reality.
I have this problem where if someone tells me something difficult they are going through I will cry. I will cry in public if you tell me one of your family members just died. I almost can't handle asking someone how they are doing because there is a chance I will cry at work. It's always been this way I have no control over it.
I have it completely wrong but I wonder if you're over-sensitive my dear? 😊 You're also possibly run down and have been for some time, always there and doing this and that for everybody/family, sorting everything out while still busy working. I may be wrong but either way, give your emotions a rest, constant stress takes its toll and you need time out for yourself, and do you. Don't feel guilty about it! Go do you 🤗
@@NCVV2000 That's a nice sentiment but what she's describing is an extreme case of empathy. Call it over-sensitive if you want. She said verbatim that she has no control over it. This is not a "go do you" type situation; she has an automatic reaction to certain things and she has had to learn how to cope with that. There must be exercises or methods of learning to control that type of reaction, similar to how people can learn to control a temper. I wish I knew more about it to offer some good advice.
@@SteveZeugner I hear what you say there Steve, and I totally agree, it definitely is an automatic reaction and that's why I asked her to go and 'do her' as in not to go and get her hair and nails done but to go and get some professional help, talking to someone who understands her predicament; a clinical psychologist or counsellor maybe?
Like the only spark of light in their lives is elevating themselves above those who don't think difficult and once in a while they do a discovery and then like 1% of all of those is actually significant.
The semantics between empathy and compassion in this video are interesting. I’d have thought you can’t have compassion WITHOUT empathy - that compassion is empathy drawing from the PAST, but you aren’t bringing those feelings into the PRESENT with you - so that you aren’t EXPERIENCING it with them in the moment - just understanding.
Throwing this out there. What causes a child to develop empathy at a young age? Being neglected by a parent can cause a child to develop a high level of empathy as a survival mechanism to gain acceptance from that parent.(speaking from experience only). It's hard to navigate that empathy as an adult in a healthy way.
Someone told me I needed to empathize with people more. Take a walk in their shoes for a day and see how it feels. Well, I empathized with some sociopaths and let's just say, I enjoyed the shoes and am now keeping them.
So in this case, empathy is also another word for projection where you make an assumption about someone's situation based on how that situation would make yourself feel instead of how that other individual truly feels. How confounding.
Empathy is tough and should be analyzed if a person has too much. I find I bleed over into savior complex which is often self defeating and ego driven.
Also the empathy for one individual may hurt another. For example when doctors put patients they like on top of a waiting list for organ transplantaion...
Empathy is a process of maturity where you shift your egoistic brain through experiences enlightenment. A level higher than empathy is compassion where you are able to analyze people true intentions and emotions and critically provide them with solutions.
7:01 meh. that works between therapist and client but in the real world people just want to vent and be angry and when you offer them advice they'll get upset.
Interesting how there seems to be a few different definitions of empathy talked about. The last one on compassion sounds very familiar to the life’s work of Marshal Rosenberg.
I don't know... but I disagree a little with Paul Bloom's statements about compassion over empathy. I agree that we often feel discomfort when we are empathetic because we feel how the other feels, but I think this discomfort is extremely necessary, especially when it comes to a political movement that transforms. Most of the time, we seek pleasure over pain without asking ourselves what this pain means, just running away from it. I think we need to feel discomfort in order to question ourselves, to realize if we ourselves do not have an impact on the other's pain and to change things. I also think that without identification there is not as much desire to act, because most of us are very selfish and we need to identify with something in order to give it more value. And I think we can achieve this identification through empathetic acts.
Great video and material. I agree empathy is ideal for communication and persuasion but must be taken seriously and carefully with emotional intelligence or could be bad for mental health.
Big Think! The content from this channel is much appreciated. However, I can’t help but notice the lack of diversity. Are there not big thinkers with other ethnic, backgrounds, and perhaps other genders? Who knows, maybe their ideas/research is also great. 🤔
A major flaw in the thesis of having a councilor who feels and understands their patients, on a next level as can experience the pain and trauma effects they are going through for them self … would cripple them the same as the person untrained and unfocused has been effected via those traumas where these mental issues arises from originally for the patient.. Because we are speaking on this person being a professional shaman or psychologists , who will be the ones working with those emotions and traumas .. they should automatically be able to control and heal it in time enough for no major damage or lasting effects to occur to the psyche.. many are out there who soak in such thought and emotional consciousness.. many are out there who relieve others of their toxic energies weighing them down and attacking them , as well as all those around the patients. You learn how to take care of your self and others .. how to balance and harmonize such chaotic free agents of thoughts , emotions and consciousness connections being made and sustained in unhealthy or dangerous for the persons wave lengths .. There is of course always a risk one can over work them self and bite more than can chew .. but we learn from our mistakes .. same as medical professionals who deal with more challenging cases such as medical surgeons. It can be managed :) and all can be assured and assisted therefore that they too can learn to manage the symptoms of their mental illness.. just need time and practice .. to identify and heal the core causes so to rid of the symptoms. That’s so easier done when can feel and know just by being in the same room or by laying hands to connect our consciousness.. it’s not a down fall to be a powerful empathetic individual.. it’s a bless from the creator and sustainer of all life IMO .. a blessing that allows us to be extra aware , informed and capable to assist our brothers and sisters of Mother Nature for when they are injured and in need of all types of healing. I hope you all have a blessed day and keep an open mind to try out anything first before judging or dismissing it all. I hope all find solutions and cures for all issues and illnesses effecting your level of quality of life. Good luck wishes to you all , much love and respect to you all, and may God / the creator force of all consciousness and life ..please bless this day for all sharing this amazing and beautiful life on this one of a kind wonderful planet of such diversity and density of all spiritual expressions of the one soul of the universe we are all fractals of. :) god bless you all.
Compassion is a intellectual exercise … just using your imagination and connecting on how it repeats and relates to your own life experiences and pains ..it’s all about you really is where compassion stems from .. and the level of that compassion only extends there fore so far and in so many ways .. where as empathy has no limits as these empathy is a consciousness and emotional experience.. empathy is truly understanding , knowing and connecting .. empathy is limitless connecting and reflecting truly that persons thoughts , emotions ,desires , pains , accomplishments , moments of pride and pettiness ,their woes and needs .. All do respect .. but …truly ..simply put.. empathy is needed more than ever for humanity to get out of this mess that compassion got us in.
Heh, I've never had strong enough empathy for this to be a problem. I don't think I'm a sociopath though, just a level of everyday rational compensation. I feel well adapted.
There are elements of truth that empathy dialed up to 11 can be overwhelming. But that argument is completely different than saying that moderate empathy is not beneficial. I would argue that true compassion is impossible without a degree of empathy. I think that such extreme arguments made here against empathy may be biased by researchers who themselves lack empathy for others and somehow enjoy the idea that they are still compassionate. I am a doctor and make it my duty to try to maintain a balance between empathy and compassion. It is not a cause of burnout when it gives your life purpose. Bloom makes blanket statements that empathy always causes “pulling back” and “burning out”. This by no means universal. It is a balance. If you dial empathy to zero there is no true compassion, only perhaps performative “do gooding” to gain approval of others or to puff one’s own ego. Compassion without empathy is a nonsensical.
From the perspective of the dog trainer and my observations, the attitude of common people towards dogs, pre-ally shelter dogs is disturbed on similar principles.
Paul Bloom is mistaking empathy for sympathy... empathy is the base for compassion or sympathy, it’s not some unpleasant or uncomfortable thing as he is stating, but simply the ability to understand what the other person is feeling. Kind of like if someone burns themselves, empathy tells you how it feels, then how you react defines whether if you’re sympathetic, compassionate or anything else your character moves you to display... and by the way, the best doctors have acute empathy... but don’t worry Paul, I can empathize with making a mistake in word definitions as well as publishing inaccurate information, Big Think.
Do you think someone can be too empathetic?
Yes. Military training, for instance, discourages empathy and funnels compassion to the "unit", a good hyper-tribal strategy that comes in handy for staying alive in the heat of battle.
Hard choices are most certainly made harder by feeling the pain of others.
The borg has more empathy than large ascendant groups presently in charge in US. Wrong question,
Broader question: can anything not be too much anything?
Most definitely. They're more agreeable, have patience, feel more, see more, wear their hearts on their sleeves, understands the other person's perspective, which together with strong emotions alters their perception of everything; making it easy for narcissists to gain control over, and indeed others to manipulate...
@@Robert-yc9ql LOL yeah GREAT point, killing people is definitely harder when you think of them as human beings no different from yourself. What a truly terrifying point of view you have brought to the table.
Empathy burns out, though it gives the sense of urgency Compassion does not. I think it is wise to attempt to master both in the most productive way rather than just trying to avoid Empathy at all cost.
thats what i believe too , balance is everything... if you know how to use in the right way,and not to be too much of anything, what there is in you i believe you can have a very good mental health!!!!
Now this episode is a weird one if I could even call it that. It's somewhat true though. I'm very empathetic. So much so that i feel for the other person (relationship) that its made me withdraw and turtle all together in the painful memory's. Maybe i should be less empathetic to just get on with life more freely 😔
@@nfreddyyy what works for me is a strongly developed sense of self. You may not be able to control feeling the emotions brought on by the presence of others, but you can use those feelings in a way that honors who you are. Focus on the helping (the compassion), and if the other person isn't having it, move on. It doesn't mean giving up on them, but they may not be ready to receive what you have to offer, or they may choose not to receive it. And learn to spot manipulators. There are those who will attempt to abuse your empathy. It only takes one to crush you. Once you learn to spot them, you will know when to put up your wall. It can even be fun. If someone starts to mess with you, you can act hurt, but while you're busy acting, you can come up with a punchy one-liner to flip their game and crush their own confidence at their ability to manipulate. It lets them know that you see them for what they are, and that you aren't having any of it. I'm getting better at that myself.
Council: The Jedi forego all attachments and bonds as the associated emotions could lead them astray while mastering the Force.
Us: Have you just tried supporting their mental health to be balanced and healthy in a productive manner? Do you even have mental health counseling?
Council: ...
@@daegunbong8487 👌
When I was training as a therapist, I was taught what I consider a balanced approach to empathy. My professor described it as filter ing the clients' feelings through your heart, but then moving back into your mind. This approach let me practice empathy with my clients without burning out.
A major flaw in the thesis of having a councilor who feels and understands their patients, on a next level as can experience the pain and trauma effects they are going through for them self … would cripple them the same as the person untrained and unfocused has been effected via those traumas where these mental issues arises from originally for the patient..
Because we are speaking on this person being a professional shaman or psychologists , who will be the ones working with those emotions and traumas .. they should automatically be able to control and heal it in time enough for no major damage or lasting effects to occur to the psyche.. many are out there who soak in such thought and emotional consciousness.. many are out there who relieve others of their toxic energies weighing them down and attacking them , as well as all those around the patients.
You learn how to take care of your self and others .. how to balance and harmonize such chaotic free agents of thoughts , emotions and consciousness connections being made and sustained in unhealthy or dangerous for the persons wave lengths ..
There is of course always a risk one can over work them self and bite more than can chew .. but we learn from our mistakes .. same as medical professionals who deal with more challenging cases such as medical surgeons.
It can be managed :) and all can be assured and assisted therefore that they too can learn to manage the symptoms of their mental illness.. just need time and practice .. to identify and heal the core causes so to rid of the symptoms. That’s so easier done when can feel and know just by being in the same room or by laying hands to connect our consciousness..
it’s not a down fall to be a powerful empathetic individual.. it’s a bless from the creator and sustainer of all life IMO .. a blessing that allows us to be extra aware , informed and capable to assist our brothers and sisters of Mother Nature for when they are injured and in need of all types of healing.
I hope you all have a blessed day and keep an open mind to try out anything first before judging or dismissing it all. I hope all find solutions and cures for all issues and illnesses effecting your level of quality of life.
Good luck wishes to you all , much love and respect to you all, and may God / the creator force of all consciousness and life ..please bless this day for all sharing this amazing and beautiful life on this one of a kind wonderful planet of such diversity and density of all spiritual expressions of the one soul of the universe we are all fractals of. :) god bless you all.
Currently training , we have been taught what you describe as "bracketing".
The first step toward empathy is to treat others like human beings.
All too often you see people treating waiters and salespeople like objects.
It all comes to mutual respect. We are all poor human beings living on the earth, no matter who we are. Shame most people today cares only about themselves
Unless you're treating human beings like garbage, of course.
I think you got it backwards - empathy is the first step to treating people like human beings. Empathy isn't a state of being, it's an unconscious reaction. But like any unconscious reaction, you can make a habit of doing it consciously, which in turn makes your reactions generally more empathic. With practice, even sociopaths can learn to empathize, and even major empaths can learn to control that reaction when it's counterproductive. The brain is an amazing thing. But yeah people that are rude to waiters and customer service reps are assholes. Being rude to salespeople I'm more inclined to understand haha...
Waiters check out girls and the homeless .
No one dreams of working check out in a supermarket, the homeless have many stories of how they ended up, it's not all drugs and mental illness but circumstances of life.
Walk in someone's moccasins for a bit.
Atheism thinks there just evolve lump of cell.
I find the distinction made here between empathy and compassion very interesting. I believe that in this context the key words are awareness and objectivity. Consciousness to have the discipline to look outwards, including the essential, i.e. others, and the objectivity to understand their behavior and their state of mind without being destabilized by their possible suffering. This is what allows us to be fully human and to provide useful solutions.
I totally agree Marc. I think Empathy is an intellectual understanding of someone elses' perspectives. While Compassion is emotionally resonating with them.
imo Compassion can be exhausting, while Empathy is an extremely powerful tool. Compassion can sometimes get in the way, as your emotional state changes drasticaly based on (your perception of) what others are feeling (e.g. what Paul Bloom is talking about). A empathic doctor on the otherhand, would recognise a patient's anxiety and adjust for it; but not feel
anxious themselves.
I feel that this video sometimes unusefully conflates the two concepts.
A major flaw in the thesis of having a councilor who feels and understands their patients, on a next level as can experience the pain and trauma effects they are going through for them self … would cripple them the same as the person untrained and unfocused has been effected via those traumas where these mental issues arises from originally for the patient..
Because we are speaking on this person being a professional shaman or psychologists , who will be the ones working with those emotions and traumas .. they should automatically be able to control and heal it in time enough for no major damage or lasting effects to occur to the psyche.. many are out there who soak in such thought and emotional consciousness.. many are out there who relieve others of their toxic energies weighing them down and attacking them , as well as all those around the patients.
You learn how to take care of your self and others .. how to balance and harmonize such chaotic free agents of thoughts , emotions and consciousness connections being made and sustained in unhealthy or dangerous for the persons wave lengths ..
There is of course always a risk one can over work them self and bite more than can chew .. but we learn from our mistakes .. same as medical professionals who deal with more challenging cases such as medical surgeons.
It can be managed :) and all can be assured and assisted therefore that they too can learn to manage the symptoms of their mental illness.. just need time and practice .. to identify and heal the core causes so to rid of the symptoms. That’s so easier done when can feel and know just by being in the same room or by laying hands to connect our consciousness..
it’s not a down fall to be a powerful empathetic individual.. it’s a bless from the creator and sustainer of all life IMO .. a blessing that allows us to be extra aware , informed and capable to assist our brothers and sisters of Mother Nature for when they are injured and in need of all types of healing.
I hope you all have a blessed day and keep an open mind to try out anything first before judging or dismissing it all. I hope all find solutions and cures for all issues and illnesses effecting your level of quality of life.
Good luck wishes to you all , much love and respect to you all, and may God / the creator force of all consciousness and life ..please bless this day for all sharing this amazing and beautiful life on this one of a kind wonderful planet of such diversity and density of all spiritual expressions of the one soul of the universe we are all fractals of. :) god bless you all.
Compassion is a intellectual exercise … just using your imagination and connecting on how it repeats and relates to your own life experiences and pains ..it’s all about you really is where compassion stems from .. and the level of that compassion only extends there fore so far and in so many ways .. where as empathy has no limits as these
empathy is a consciousness and emotional experience.. empathy is truly understanding , knowing and connecting .. empathy is limitless connecting and reflecting truly that persons thoughts , emotions ,desires , pains , accomplishments , moments of pride and pettiness ,their woes and needs ..
All do respect .. but …truly ..simply put..
empathy is needed more than ever for humanity to get out of this mess that compassion got us in.
I wish I could turn my empathy off, sometimes it's too much
The paradox thing is that there isnt an opposite to this.
Just think your not the savior, Jesus is the savior, do you part & you have the opportunity & give the rest to God.
@@lilwater7358 psycopath is the oppsite of an empath
I think this explanation of empathy vs compassion is extremely valuable. My life has been adversely affected by feeling too much of another's pain. Way too much. I'm going to meditate on this and move forward with more compassion, less empathy. Thank you so much.
There can not be compassion without going through empathy first.
In order to have compassion of your struggles, I need to have an emotional understanding of it: by shared experience, or by being able to relate or whatever. (Example: if I have never been depressed, or if I have never experience the pain of loss, I might just overlook those feelings in another person and be prone to minimize them)
Compassion is, therefore, a 'trained' form of empathy, were you are able to feel the other person struggles, but are also able to not be "sucked in" to the point of non-functionality, or to the point of not being able to help.
Compassion is a intellectual exercise … just using your imagination and connecting on how it repeats and relates to your own life experiences and pains ..it’s all about you really is where compassion stems from .. and the level of that compassion only extends there fore so far and in so many ways .. where as empathy has no limits as these
empathy is a consciousness and emotional experience.. empathy is truly understanding , knowing and connecting .. empathy is limitless connecting and reflecting truly that persons thoughts , emotions ,desires , pains , accomplishments , moments of pride and pettiness ,their woes and needs ..
All do respect .. but …truly ..simply put..
empathy is needed more than ever for humanity to get out of this mess that compassion got us in.
I find that when I feel empathy it leads to compassion and understanding.
Empathy: understanding another's emotion based on a shared experience...for example loss of parent.
Sympathy: compassion for another's emotion without shared experience.
Haha right - why didn't they just say that
No, empathy is when you view the situation from their lens but even so you could not give a care in the world. On the other hand sympathy is the same as empathy but you feel a sense of care towards the person.
@@arsenal0095 and @3u-kaz IV I'm not tryna be mean but... what in the world are either of you talking about? I think you might want to check out a dictionary. Gre Gre your definition of empathy is incorrect in any context. If someone does what you are saying they are not empathizing, in fact that's closer to sociopathy. And 3u-kaz IV sympathy and pity are basically synonyms, but sympathy doesn't as often take on a negative connotation. But I think I uderstand where you're coming from - English, American English at least, is an absolute mess because we commonly use words to mean their opposite in a twisted and cynical way. For example: "I sympathize, but I think you should get over it." That's an example of using a word that means compassion to soften the fact that you don't actually give a shit. "Sorry I'm not sorry" kind of thing.
It’s not based on a shared experience, because you are never assuming that someone feels exactly how you felt. You’re putting yourself in their shoes and putting your own shoes to one side, while you walk in theirs. As others have said, sympathy is like pity. It’s actually not very helpful. Go find Brene Brown’s animation of sympathy vs empathy.
I usually define them exactly as JL L did.
i can see his point on empathy and compassion but both are essential for a deeper understanding in life. It seems like the example he kept using just highlighted a certain aspect of empathy and how people can get lost in it. But that doesn't mean we need less of it, we need to understand it better and use it in tandem with compassionate action.
I have mixed feelings on this. I consider myself a very empathetic and compassionate person, both. And, yes, I *do* often feel the weight of the world. (Mostly because I see a LACK of both empathy and compassion, and it saddens me.) ...But while compassion might be what motivates you to bring dinner over to a friend's house who has just experienced tragedy -- empathy is when that friend wraps you in a bear hug, or holds your hand and cries with you. And there is a time and a place for both.
Also, I think that this video overlooks the role of women on this planet. Women are rockstars at both compassion and empathy. Women are capable of _feeling_ -- and feeling strongly. Empathy is when a mom sacrifices herself for her child -- because she _knows_ the depths of pain, and she would rather take that on than watch her child suffer. And women give their bodies and often sense of self just to have a child. Women's empathy is part of what's kept the human race alive.
Lastly, empathy is often a necessary ingredient for _recognizing_ others' suffering -- and then making personal sacrifices, to improve OTHERS' quality of life. For instance, you don't eat animals, because you can see and feel their suffering and pain. Or you change your lifestyle and daily habits to be more environmental -- because you see the planet and its creatures struggling, and because you worry about and care for future generations.
Empathy can also be positive: you see someone attain a goal, or recover from illness, or belly laugh -- and you experience happiness / gratitude / excitement along with them.
While I understand your point that compassion may lend to more productivity, and that empathy can bog you down -- there is a time and a place for empathy. ...And when I meet other empathetic personalities, I can recognize them immediately -- as trusted, benevolent people, who look out for others. They are usually, safe, perceptive, and conscientious people, who are open-minded and giving. ...So, maybe we do what we can to cherish and protect them. . Because yes, people _can_ take advantage of them. But god knows, the world could use more of them.
I don’t think anyone is saying that empathy ought be eliminated. A lot of people would go mad if we demanded that of them.
Paul Bloom is really the primary opponent to empathy in this video, and a big part of his concern is that empathy is necessarily selective. Every time. And it is impossible to use it in a fair way. It doesn’t just make you inefficient. If you choose to make it the entire determinate of your morality, it makes you a bigot. One way or another, you’re giving someone an unfair advantage. Empathy only really evolved to maintain the cohesiveness of groups of about 100-500. The more empathy you have for one party, the more you’re likely to unjustly vilify parties perceived as competition.
When it comes to animal rights, as you mentioned, that probably required you to exercise some conscious discipline over your empathy. It required you to take your limited emotional reserves and withdraw them from people you naturally cared about and direct them to those outside of your purview. So, you’re already more in agreement than I think you realized. The remaining danger is *needing* to feel for someone in order to care about them, because you’ll never be able to expand those emotional reserves enough to be fair to every soul who enters your courts.
@@somexp12 I think we're on totally different pages. But I appreciate your insight. We obviously come from different walks of life, but that's ok.
I can honestly say that I have empathy for all creatures on the planet. I know that sounds bonkers. But it's in more of a general sense. I think the trick is not to get overwhelmed -- because it does no one favors if we take on aaalllll the suffering and cry all day. Empathy is best when channeled into action.
I also would like to think that there is ZERO correlation between empathy and bigotry. Ignorance breeds bigotry, not empathy.
And I'm a life-long veg. Avoiding meat does not take from my "limited emotional reserves." I just wake up and not eat meat. I don't want to harm creatures. It's not hard not to do. Done deal.
And, to me, it's not a choice between animals and "emotional reserves." In my mind, it's basic policy that all creatures deserve respect. ....Animals often live _entire_ lives of extreme suffering, so a human can enjoy it for 5-10 minutes, and that blows my mind. And in most first-world countries, meat is totally optional. ...Whether we like to admit it or not, this is species-ism. And many people are ok with that. I get that. But it is also exclusivist and self-serving, and some might also argue, prejudice.
I, personally, just think it's good policy to walk through life with a general "incur no-harm" policy. As much as I can. ...Yes, there can be an emotional toll, but to me, empathy and empathetic people are much needed, and I am always grateful for them!!
idk why i teared up reading this
Yeah, I had very similar thoughts on this. But once they introduced "compassion" I took it as a language barrier. Let me explain. All these terms mean different things to different people. I think often people argue pointless arguments cuz the root cause of disagreement is on nomenclature (labelling shit).
I think, in this case, empathy for sure is mandatory for compassion to even exist (which they do not mention here, so good point there). Otherwise how would you even recognise issues people are having? But I think what they mean here is that it is often beneficial to all parties to lean towards compassion here.
E.g. say you have a friend who is severely depressed. In a group setting, their depression actually spreads to the other members of the group. Bringing the mood down. In these cases it can often be helpful to somewhat distance yourself, but still have compassion (which sometimes for sure is easier said than done). If through empathy, you also become somewhat depressed yourself, it will greatly impair your capacity for finding solutions.
That is what I got out of this video anyway...
You made some great points! Bottom line is that some empathy is natural and vital for authentic relationships and building compassion and education. But too much would be distracting, counter-productive and inefficient. I think self-awareness and reflection is key in managing this. But I do agree with you that we need more empathy in this world
I actually changed my Dr because she showed no emotion with me. If I’m in pain and expressing with with her. I don’t want her to fall apart but it would really goes a long way if she would not look at me blankly. I moved to another Dr who charged more but because I always feel a sense of humanity with her I don’t mind paying extra.
I get burned out easily. Feeling what others are feeling... Sometimes I just can't take it. But the point of compassion being different, and mindfulness developing that instead of empathy is something I must try. I don't want to give up on caring for people.
Empathy is good up until you start "feeling" through a situation instead of thinking. In the reaction to other peoples thoughts is were the empathic response comes in.
Wow, that is a nice, concise way to put it. 100% agree!
Like everything you need empathy in a balanced way
Balance is the key to life, and the answer to many many questions. If only i were good with that, terrible equilibrium , the mighty smiter hath smited me with the balance of a toddler.
Compassion is a intellectual exercise … just using your imagination and connecting on how it repeats and relates to your own life experiences and pains ..it’s all about you really is where compassion stems from .. and the level of that compassion only extends there fore so far and in so many ways .. where as empathy has no limits as these
empathy is a consciousness and emotional experience.. empathy is truly understanding , knowing and connecting .. empathy is limitless connecting and reflecting truly that persons thoughts , emotions ,desires , pains , accomplishments , moments of pride and pettiness ,their woes and needs ..
All do respect .. but …truly ..simply put..
empathy is needed more than ever for humanity to get out of this mess that compassion got us in.
They are brushing over the fact that in those tests most of those people possess empathy. When you remove empathy completely you have a personality disorder of narcissism or antisocial pd. (on a spectrum of cluster B according to several specialists) Those people are growing in number and they cause chaos and pain everywhere they go. 🙁
You say it girl!.
i was born empathic, very strongly so.
i feel other people's physical pain, as well as their mental and emotional issues.
yes, it can be overwhelming, but it can also be incredibly insightful.
and it can be beautiful when you're sharing positive emotions.
compassion is necessary, for sure, 'cause we should all look out for each other.
but empathy is necessary when you're trying to understand why people feel and think the way they do.
How did you come to believe that you were "born" empathic? That sounds like a genetic claim, is it?
Are you claiming that if you saw a stranger break their leg, you would also collapse in pain and require prescription pain medication to feel normal?
I'm having a difficult time understanding what it physically means to identify as a born empath.
"i feel other people's physical pain, as well as their mental and emotional issues." No, you don't. It's not about you.
There is no such thing as being “empathic”. You have empathy, that’s it. Congrats ..you are a human.
Don't worry about too much empathy in this world.
exactly, there’s lack of empathy in the world, not excess
I worry about forcing empathy, fake empathy and overexaggerating empathy - all while having zero forgivness and no compassion what so ever.
@@zlac Yes, I was thinking the same thing. There's obviously a big difference between "fake" empathy and "real" empathy. The "real" is very quiet, but the "fake" is deafening!
...maybe. I still see the problem the authors are pointing to as a serious one.
True! Or at a minimum, as this video discussed, not enough "compassion."
*_1_* What is the meaning of life? To go beyond the self-centered activity of the mind, which is *_love._*
*_2_* Love is the foundation of everything-love for whatever you do and for others.
*_3_* When love is, the self is not.
*_4_* Love begets compassion and empathy.
💕 ☮ 🌎 🌌
Love doesn't work on everyone, beware the soul collector narcissists...
This video shows where your self-assured little philosophy goes to die
Its not love.
It's money and sex. Only.
A major flaw in the thesis of having a councilor who feels and understands their patients, on a next level as can experience the pain and trauma effects they are going through for them self … would cripple them the same as the person untrained and unfocused has been effected via those traumas where these mental issues arises from originally for the patient..
Because we are speaking on this person being a professional shaman or psychologists , who will be the ones working with those emotions and traumas .. they should automatically be able to control and heal it in time enough for no major damage or lasting effects to occur to the psyche.. many are out there who soak in such thought and emotional consciousness.. many are out there who relieve others of their toxic energies weighing them down and attacking them , as well as all those around the patients.
You learn how to take care of your self and others .. how to balance and harmonize such chaotic free agents of thoughts , emotions and consciousness connections being made and sustained in unhealthy or dangerous for the persons wave lengths ..
There is of course always a risk one can over work them self and bite more than can chew .. but we learn from our mistakes .. same as medical professionals who deal with more challenging cases such as medical surgeons.
It can be managed :) and all can be assured and assisted therefore that they too can learn to manage the symptoms of their mental illness.. just need time and practice .. to identify and heal the core causes so to rid of the symptoms. That’s so easier done when can feel and know just by being in the same room or by laying hands to connect our consciousness..
it’s not a down fall to be a powerful empathetic individual.. it’s a bless from the creator and sustainer of all life IMO .. a blessing that allows us to be extra aware , informed and capable to assist our brothers and sisters of Mother Nature for when they are injured and in need of all types of healing.
I hope you all have a blessed day and keep an open mind to try out anything first before judging or dismissing it all. I hope all find solutions and cures for all issues and illnesses effecting your level of quality of life.
Good luck wishes to you all , much love and respect to you all, and may God / the creator force of all consciousness and life ..please bless this day for all sharing this amazing and beautiful life on this one of a kind wonderful planet of such diversity and density of all spiritual expressions of the one soul of the universe we are all fractals of. :) god bless you all.
Compassion is a intellectual exercise … just using your imagination and connecting on how it repeats and relates to your own life experiences and pains ..it’s all about you really is where compassion stems from .. and the level of that compassion only extends there fore so far and in so many ways .. where as empathy has no limits as these
empathy is a consciousness and emotional experience.. empathy is truly understanding , knowing and connecting .. empathy is limitless connecting and reflecting truly that persons thoughts , emotions ,desires , pains , accomplishments , moments of pride and pettiness ,their woes and needs ..
All do respect .. but …truly ..simply put..
empathy is needed more than ever for humanity to get out of this mess that compassion got us in.
It reduces stress and fosters resilience, trust, healing, personal growth, creativity, learning and nourishing connection. Empathy also transforms conflict, and supports sustainable collaborative action and positive social change.👍
Yes and empathy is also potentially harmful to the inadequately grounded empath.
Nice biased bullshit sentence but why should the abused have empathy for their abuser while they're abused? Your broad generalizations about "empathy" is ignorant, dangerous, and childlike. grow your mind before posting your baby babble on the internet.
@@BD-lq4id You know, it is possible to disagree with someone without being disagreeable.
Why did you feel the need to be so hateful and insulting?
@@BD-lq4id jesus christ, have a snickers bar
@@BD-lq4id why should the abused have empathy for their abuser? Because otherwise they run the risk of turning into the monster that abused them, only they'll be abusing themselves all the time and they won't be able to get away this time.
Love your enemies
As an aspie, empathy is difficult to feel, but when I do, I *feel* it.
Let's just say last year was rough, as people were getting brutalized by police on TV.
A major flaw in the thesis of having a councilor who feels and understands their patients, on a next level as can experience the pain and trauma effects they are going through for them self … would cripple them the same as the person untrained and unfocused has been effected via those traumas where these mental issues arises from originally for the patient..
Because we are speaking on this person being a professional shaman or psychologists , who will be the ones working with those emotions and traumas .. they should automatically be able to control and heal it in time enough for no major damage or lasting effects to occur to the psyche.. many are out there who soak in such thought and emotional consciousness.. many are out there who relieve others of their toxic energies weighing them down and attacking them , as well as all those around the patients.
You learn how to take care of your self and others .. how to balance and harmonize such chaotic free agents of thoughts , emotions and consciousness connections being made and sustained in unhealthy or dangerous for the persons wave lengths ..
There is of course always a risk one can over work them self and bite more than can chew .. but we learn from our mistakes .. same as medical professionals who deal with more challenging cases such as medical surgeons.
It can be managed :) and all can be assured and assisted therefore that they too can learn to manage the symptoms of their mental illness.. just need time and practice .. to identify and heal the core causes so to rid of the symptoms. That’s so easier done when can feel and know just by being in the same room or by laying hands to connect our consciousness..
it’s not a down fall to be a powerful empathetic individual.. it’s a bless from the creator and sustainer of all life IMO .. a blessing that allows us to be extra aware , informed and capable to assist our brothers and sisters of Mother Nature for when they are injured and in need of all types of healing.
I hope you all have a blessed day and keep an open mind to try out anything first before judging or dismissing it all. I hope all find solutions and cures for all issues and illnesses effecting your level of quality of life.
Good luck wishes to you all , much love and respect to you all, and may God / the creator force of all consciousness and life ..please bless this day for all sharing this amazing and beautiful life on this one of a kind wonderful planet of such diversity and density of all spiritual expressions of the one soul of the universe we are all fractals of. :) god bless you all.
Basically... observe both others and as well as your self, feel the emotions as they arise, accept them and find compassion for yourself and others. Understand and allow yourself to feel the emotions, but do not cling to them nor judge yourself or others for the emotions that are felt
knowing and feeling what another person is thinking and feeling is great for exploiting weakness, some would think.
Sometimes a person has to pay a heavy price to be emphatic!! Still proud to be an empath!!👍👌👏
I'm seeing this video a few years late. I'm an overly sensitive empath and have been feeling all the feels of everything... The whales tummies, birds and others bellies being full of plastic, the earth and the damage humans are causing, the children possibly in my neighborhood being abused, deprived of food and love, the criminals who have been wrongfully accused... Mother and fathers being enslaved in work not being able to be a 'family'. Big corporations not genuinely caring about the consumption of their goods but just caring about profits.. So many other things.... I have been feeling these feelings for too long and losing my will to keep going.. This video was helpful.
The truth of the matter is that people always think that empathy is always the way to go when understanding and connecting with people. I believe that understanding should not be the end all for a person. We should be willing to formulate resolutions as much as possible so as to really help the person move forward with what one is currently experiencing. Compassionate empathy is the way to go.
I'd make a lousy doctor or therapist. I once had a psychiatrist tell me I suffered from 'an excess of empathy'. I can see how that would be a problem in a therapeutic setting, but otherwise I wouldn't change. I'm not clear, though, on the difference between 'empathy' and 'compassion'. They seem to me to be one and the same.
He's saying that the two get used interchangeably in regular conversation, which is fine, but that there is a difference between literally feeling pain by imagining the pain someone else is feeling, and realizing that someone is in pain and trying to help them without actually letting yourself dive into that pain. I've actually come across this recently, a friend of mine is in a bad place, broke up with his girlfriend, recovering from alcoholism, really down about the state of the world. And I realized after talking to him a few times that I was not being very helpful to him, because I always started sort of reflecting what he was giving off which was not the feedback he was looking for. I'm like you - I don't agree with the psychologist in this video that empathy is bad, in my opinion you have to have empathy before you can have compassion, but I understand what he means when he says too much empathy can get in the way of helping someone, in that way.
@@SteveZeugner Thank you. I found that to be a much better definition of the distinction between the two than what I was hearing from the speaker. And I agree - I don't believe the psychologist was correct in his statement that empathy is bad - he might have said 'inconvenient' or 'unhelpful', and been more clear. At least, to me. :)
Empathy also goes the positive way too. When u cry tears of joy after watching a powerful father son moment in a movie or when u cry at a wedding. thats empathy. Its not all bad feelings
Alan Alda is such a treasure
Being aware of my empathy and treating it with the care it is worthy of. That is what I do today.
A lorry driver told me how he drove with borderline recklessness, upon hearing his son had just died, to get to his sons deceased body. I now leave space, for drivers in a hurry to get somewhere I hope is not as tragic as this scenario, or pull over to let them get by.
You cannot feel another person's pain because you don't live in their brain or body. You can only imagine their pain. Compassion is very important.
Empathy enriches our understanding and our compassion.
100% agree with the difference between empathy and compassion. Metta (loving kindness) meditation helps you actually feel good for imagining the other person deeply happy and without suffering, helps you actually do something for the person that's suffering, you should take a look at Sam Harris takes on this
*No 1: Don't Only Hope On Government For Income,*
*No 2: As An Individual Look For Different Self Income Not Only Waiting on Monthly Wages,*
*No 3: Always Save The Little You Can And Think Of What To Do With It When It Become Good For Capital.*
*It's 100% Good To Have Different Ways To Gain Income*
*Because Government have failed us so therefore let's try and survive*
After a successful investment you have nothing to worry about whether the rise and fall of economy or anything won't affect you make your future brighter by making good
Exactly that's true if you have a good investor you have nothing to Worry about
Wise words that's just the fact and also what is happening day by day
We get to see people remain poor due to ignorance and selfishness
@Andy Martin Sure we see unprofessional broker but they are lucrative and professional broker looking for investors that's why I always talk about Scott Austin
@Andy Martin Sure we see unprofessional broker but they are lucrative and professional broker looking for investors that's why I always talk about Scott Austin
Very good explanation on differentating between empathy and compassion. Compassion is therapeutic. Empathy is probably not so. Thanks for a very scientific narration.
Empathy then compassion both be felt with free and stable mind!❤️❤️❤️
Exactly 💙
It is to my understanding that what makes a person good is not some innate characteristic but rather how much pleasure and suffering that person is causing for others. Empathy is often considered a very virtuous characteristic but it can also make you very partial because you only feel for the pleasure and suffering of those you know. Empathy only accounts for people living today and it's usually very biased in favor of large amounts of pleasure or suffering (which isn't great if that large amount is for a very small group if the large group is feeling something smaller in return).
In my mind, a person cannot have compassion without having empathy first. Empathy is feeling and compassion is doing/acting on that empathy.
I consider Empathy as seeing the situation as seen by the other, not participating in the feelings. Understanding rather than agreeing.
A big part of Verbal Judo is the use of “Tactical Empathy”.
Empathy is the feeling and compassion is the action.
Empathy doesn’t always produce healthy outcomes.
Social media and 24/7 news cycle is overloading people.
We aren’t built to be empathetic for everyone all the time. That’s too stressful.
Empathy is meant for close community groups.
It’s okay to feel for people you don’t know but you need to quickly let it go when you can’t do anything to alleviate the suffering of others.
Also, empathy can be used as a weapon.
Bullies can use their empathy to torment people.
People can use their empathy to manipulate others.
Compassion is a intellectual exercise … just using your imagination and connecting on how it repeats and relates to your own life experiences and pains ..it’s all about you really is where compassion stems from .. and the level of that compassion only extends there fore so far and in so many ways .. where as empathy has no limits as these
empathy is a consciousness and emotional experience.. empathy is truly understanding , knowing and connecting .. empathy is limitless connecting and reflecting truly that persons thoughts , emotions ,desires , pains , accomplishments , moments of pride and pettiness ,their woes and needs ..
All do respect .. but …truly ..simply put..
empathy is needed more than ever for humanity to get out of this mess that compassion got us in.
There is a HUGE difference between cognitive empathy, where you guess someone’s feelings based on your past experience, and emotional empathy, where you feel emotions not your own. EG a mother with no empathy (these exist) will know if a child is crying to do something, but will offer the child no way to learn how to manage their negative emotions which is a big deficit for the child.
Empathy or compassion, feelings or emotions...? Well, I agree with all of it.
I am an empath, i can't turn empathy off, it is exhausting... when in survival mode, a tribe will persecute the most empathetic creative thinkers, because the tribe might need to unify to survive... that is when the psychopaths take control, with the support of the majority... minorities get squashed, art is destroyed, culture lost... in the world today, we are run by sociopathic systems capable of much positive change, being run by selfish psychopaths, who do not place the future of humanity, as a priority worth their consideration... putting empathy into a corporate system so that it adequately responds while serving shareholder interests, to me, requires back to basics definitions, of what wealth is, and how small part, cash is a part of that...
Empathy without compassion is futile and creates more suffering, but the same is true of compassion without empathy. It's not relying on one or the other, but the application of both in harmony, that is the best recipe for success. You can learn to notice other people, but if you don't also love them, you may not be a positive force for them; and if you learn to love others without truly seeing them, that love is ignorant, indulgent, and exposed.
If you forget that you can only imagine what another person is going through, that you can only approximate how they might be feeling, empathy quickly turns into narcissism.
I think there's a simple formulation that goes further with Paul Bloom's points. Empathy is supposed to power compassion. Empathy is supposed to burst and stop early, and recur, not too often and not too infrequent. Maybe pure compassion is possible with practice but for most people it will slip away without periodic hits of empathy. The issue is it does its best work in flashes and moments, not a constant stream.
There's a limit to everything or anything, before it destroys everything.
Alan Alda ❤❤❤
Is empathy
1. having the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing?
2. or is it experiencing what another person is experiencing?
Those two are not the same.
Can you ever truly experience what another person is experiencing without being in their place?
I dont think the 2nd point is ever true.
@@ROHAN51717 Exactly, empathy makes you experience what you THINK the other person is experiencing. It's not some ESP magic or anything ... at least as far as I know it's not
Empathy is a necessary tool, like a hammer. But using a hammer to break into a home or damage property would not be beneficial or the proper use of the tool. It's not empathy (the tool) that is problematic but the way we utilize and respond to our empathy (the tool) which can be problematic. Its useful to understand someone's alcoholism empathetically so we can help them, but not useful to encourage the alcoholism just because we can now understand why they drink
Another way empathy can be bad is if you want to hurt someone, the best way to do that is to really understand, empathize with someone but have no compassion. You understand exactly what to say/do/act to maximize pain for that person. Most people can't do this without their conscious stopping them, but many people do. Sociopaths are known for being able to turn empathy on and off, and most abusers weaponize empathy too.
Alan Alda, thank you for sharing that experiment and its reslts. You just answered a question i was stuck with for a long time 👍
I appreciate many of the comments. When I got to Paul Bloom I had the sense that he was talking about something other than empathy-perhaps sympathy. Some definition could be useful.
GREAT WORK
research compared empathy for suffering with compassion for love. isnt it basic to compare effects in same setting, empathy vs compassion in suffering separate from empathy vs compassion in love.
because both emotions are similar just balance varies. @7:32 exactly
Amazing, thx.
Thanks!
Empathy is not always bad. Everything within moderation.
People who have more empathy are the same as people who have more compassion.
People who have no empathy (psychopath, antisocial, narcissist), they have no compassion either.
They also have no shame. So they show up in this video, and rationalize against empathy.
What Paul Bloom calls Empathy is actually Sympathy, and what he calls Compassion is actually Empathy. Of course, semantics aside, the point is that _understanding_ what someone else is feeling can be a valuable tool, but investing so deeply that _their_ feelings become _your own_ can lead to a lack of productive objectivity. Along that line, it's important to remember that "The Golden Rule" (in all its many forms) doesn't require you to imagine what _they_ feel, simply to treat them how you would want them to treat _you._
P.S. I love the empathy exercise Alan Alda discusses!
I think you're just splitting hairs with verb definitions. If the point of Bloom's argument stands but you just changed the words he used then what's your actual contribution to the discussion?
Why not use any random set of verbs like "Absquatulate" and "Prevaricate"?
@@sharpienate First of all, _Bloom_ was the one who started with the splitting of semantic hairs. Second, the alternative verbs you offered (while awesome) don't fit the topic. Third, at the risk of employing a Tu Quoque fallacy, by criticizing my lack of meaningful contribution while _also_ contributing nothing meaningful (beyond criticism) you just did exactly what you accuse me of doing. Finally, I think the observation that Reciprocity doesn't necessarily _require_ Empathy _is_ a meaningful contribution to the topic at hand.
Empathy as described by Bill Nye is literally impossible. I cannot possibly feel what you feel and you cannot possibly feel what I feel. I can only feel what I would feel if I were in your shoes and you can only feel what you would feel if you were in my shoes. I can also understand intellectually what you are going through but that is quite a bit different from actually experiencing it. Finally, you can approximate what I feel and I can approximate what you feel.based on our past experiences that are similar. For example, If both of us have lost a parent, I can certainly remember how I felt but does that means I actually feel in the moment EXACTLY what you feel? No, that impossible. So the real problem is we seem to have a concept that is an approximation of an ideal but it is necessarily not so in reality.
I think empathy is great for relationship building, but there needs to be a balance for the sake of the person’s mental health.
I have this problem where if someone tells me something difficult they are going through I will cry. I will cry in public if you tell me one of your family members just died. I almost can't handle asking someone how they are doing because there is a chance I will cry at work. It's always been this way I have no control over it.
I have it completely wrong but I wonder if you're over-sensitive my dear? 😊 You're also possibly run down and have been for some time, always there and doing this and that for everybody/family, sorting everything out while still busy working. I may be wrong but either way, give your emotions a rest, constant stress takes its toll and you need time out for yourself, and do you. Don't feel guilty about it! Go do you 🤗
@@NCVV2000 That's a nice sentiment but what she's describing is an extreme case of empathy. Call it over-sensitive if you want. She said verbatim that she has no control over it. This is not a "go do you" type situation; she has an automatic reaction to certain things and she has had to learn how to cope with that. There must be exercises or methods of learning to control that type of reaction, similar to how people can learn to control a temper. I wish I knew more about it to offer some good advice.
@@SteveZeugner I hear what you say there Steve, and I totally agree, it definitely is an automatic reaction and that's why I asked her to go and 'do her' as in not to go and get her hair and nails done but to go and get some professional help, talking to someone who understands her predicament; a clinical psychologist or counsellor maybe?
What if it's actually ok to cry and we just live in a sick culture that tells us not to feel into our emotions
Nice of you to adopt everyone else's pain or struggle. Now, how about thinking about them instead of yourself.
turning empathy into compassion is hard.
Like the only spark of light in their lives is elevating themselves above those who don't think difficult and once in a while they do a discovery and then like 1% of all of those is actually significant.
The semantics between empathy and compassion in this video are interesting.
I’d have thought you can’t have compassion WITHOUT empathy - that compassion is empathy drawing from the PAST, but you aren’t bringing those feelings into the PRESENT with you - so that you aren’t EXPERIENCING it with them in the moment - just understanding.
A Good Quote, Be happy for this moment, this moment is your life.
Love bill nye, proper dude
Throwing this out there. What causes a child to develop empathy at a young age? Being neglected by a parent can cause a child to develop a high level of empathy as a survival mechanism to gain acceptance from that parent.(speaking from experience only). It's hard to navigate that empathy as an adult in a healthy way.
Mind blown! 🤯
I sawed pinewood today, that's basically my mind, no more difficult thinking, no need. Only miserable people think a lot
Someone told me I needed to empathize with people more. Take a walk in their shoes for a day and see how it feels. Well, I empathized with some sociopaths and let's just say, I enjoyed the shoes and am now keeping them.
😂
useful, educational
So in this case, empathy is also another word for projection where you make an assumption about someone's situation based on how that situation would make yourself feel instead of how that other individual truly feels. How confounding.
Empathy is tough and should be analyzed if a person has too much. I find I bleed over into savior complex which is often self defeating and ego driven.
Also the empathy for one individual may hurt another. For example when doctors put patients they like on top of a waiting list for organ transplantaion...
Empathy is a process of maturity where you shift your egoistic brain through experiences enlightenment. A level higher than empathy is compassion where you are able to analyze people true intentions and emotions and critically provide them with solutions.
7:01 meh. that works between therapist and client but in the real world people just want to vent and be angry and when you offer them advice they'll get upset.
Interesting how there seems to be a few different definitions of empathy talked about. The last one on compassion sounds very familiar to the life’s work of Marshal Rosenberg.
I don't know... but I disagree a little with Paul Bloom's statements about compassion over empathy.
I agree that we often feel discomfort when we are empathetic because we feel how the other feels, but I think this discomfort is extremely necessary, especially when it comes to a political movement that transforms. Most of the time, we seek pleasure over pain without asking ourselves what this pain means, just running away from it. I think we need to feel discomfort in order to question ourselves, to realize if we ourselves do not have an impact on the other's pain and to change things. I also think that without identification there is not as much desire to act, because most of us are very selfish and we need to identify with something in order to give it more value. And I think we can achieve this identification through empathetic acts.
2:57 the 13 year olds: we love that too
Sympathy is a choice. Empathy is what happens to you. Over active mirror neurons.
We call it Voight-Kamph for short.
Great video and material. I agree empathy is ideal for communication and persuasion but must be taken seriously and carefully with emotional intelligence or could be bad for mental health.
Big Think! The content from this channel is much appreciated. However, I can’t help but notice the lack of diversity. Are there not big thinkers with other ethnic, backgrounds, and perhaps other genders? Who knows, maybe their ideas/research is also great. 🤔
2:18 that’s rapport
Interesting 🤔
A major flaw in the thesis of having a councilor who feels and understands their patients, on a next level as can experience the pain and trauma effects they are going through for them self … would cripple them the same as the person untrained and unfocused has been effected via those traumas where these mental issues arises from originally for the patient..
Because we are speaking on this person being a professional shaman or psychologists , who will be the ones working with those emotions and traumas .. they should automatically be able to control and heal it in time enough for no major damage or lasting effects to occur to the psyche.. many are out there who soak in such thought and emotional consciousness.. many are out there who relieve others of their toxic energies weighing them down and attacking them , as well as all those around the patients.
You learn how to take care of your self and others .. how to balance and harmonize such chaotic free agents of thoughts , emotions and consciousness connections being made and sustained in unhealthy or dangerous for the persons wave lengths ..
There is of course always a risk one can over work them self and bite more than can chew .. but we learn from our mistakes .. same as medical professionals who deal with more challenging cases such as medical surgeons.
It can be managed :) and all can be assured and assisted therefore that they too can learn to manage the symptoms of their mental illness.. just need time and practice .. to identify and heal the core causes so to rid of the symptoms. That’s so easier done when can feel and know just by being in the same room or by laying hands to connect our consciousness..
it’s not a down fall to be a powerful empathetic individual.. it’s a bless from the creator and sustainer of all life IMO .. a blessing that allows us to be extra aware , informed and capable to assist our brothers and sisters of Mother Nature for when they are injured and in need of all types of healing.
I hope you all have a blessed day and keep an open mind to try out anything first before judging or dismissing it all. I hope all find solutions and cures for all issues and illnesses effecting your level of quality of life.
Good luck wishes to you all , much love and respect to you all, and may God / the creator force of all consciousness and life ..please bless this day for all sharing this amazing and beautiful life on this one of a kind wonderful planet of such diversity and density of all spiritual expressions of the one soul of the universe we are all fractals of. :) god bless you all.
Compassion is a intellectual exercise … just using your imagination and connecting on how it repeats and relates to your own life experiences and pains ..it’s all about you really is where compassion stems from .. and the level of that compassion only extends there fore so far and in so many ways .. where as empathy has no limits as these
empathy is a consciousness and emotional experience.. empathy is truly understanding , knowing and connecting .. empathy is limitless connecting and reflecting truly that persons thoughts , emotions ,desires , pains , accomplishments , moments of pride and pettiness ,their woes and needs ..
All do respect .. but …truly ..simply put..
empathy is needed more than ever for humanity to get out of this mess that compassion got us in.
Heh, I've never had strong enough empathy for this to be a problem. I don't think I'm a sociopath though, just a level of everyday rational compensation. I feel well adapted.
There are elements of truth that empathy dialed up to 11 can be overwhelming. But that argument is completely different than saying that moderate empathy is not beneficial. I would argue that true compassion is impossible without a degree of empathy. I think that such extreme arguments made here against empathy may be biased by researchers who themselves lack empathy for others and somehow enjoy the idea that they are still compassionate. I am a doctor and make it my duty to try to maintain a balance between empathy and compassion. It is not a cause of burnout when it gives your life purpose. Bloom makes blanket statements that empathy always causes “pulling back” and “burning out”. This by no means universal. It is a balance. If you dial empathy to zero there is no true compassion, only perhaps performative “do gooding” to gain approval of others or to puff one’s own ego. Compassion without empathy is a nonsensical.
Amazing lesson. Thank you so much. Your channell is the best.
I’m here to tell you that too much empathy is exhausting.
Commenting on Dr Bloom: I want a Dr or therapist who doesn't enjoy my pain.
So would that mean that
empathy - attachment = compassion?
From the perspective of the dog trainer and my observations, the attitude of common people towards dogs, pre-ally shelter dogs is disturbed on similar principles.
Ideally, you want just enough empathy to generate sympathy, or compassion.
Paul Bloom is mistaking empathy for sympathy... empathy is the base for compassion or sympathy, it’s not some unpleasant or uncomfortable thing as he is stating, but simply the ability to understand what the other person is feeling. Kind of like if someone burns themselves, empathy tells you how it feels, then how you react defines whether if you’re sympathetic, compassionate or anything else your character moves you to display... and by the way, the best doctors have acute empathy... but don’t worry Paul, I can empathize with making a mistake in word definitions as well as publishing inaccurate information, Big Think.
I don't like MASH but I like Alan Alda.
Am I the only one who finds it weird they're asking Bill Nye about empathy? 🤔