Why My Girlfriend And I Broke Up
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ต.ค. 2024
- Why My Girlfriend And I Broke Up
Discover The 4 Emotions You Need To Make a Killer First Impression:
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In which I tell the reasons behind my break up - at least as far as I can see them today.
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My girlfriend just broke up with me because apparently "she's not actually my girlfriend" and I should stop "looking through her window at 3am" but it's okay guys I'll get her back eventually
Tom Windsor 😂😂
Tom Windsor just give her time
DO IT! What are you waiting for?!
Justice of Velka lmao are u forreal
(´･ω･`)
I don't know about all this. I don't feel that it's your job to keep your partner emotionally stable. If she's snapping at you because she's hungry or because she had an argument with a friend, that's transference, which is wrong. As your partner you are supposed to be her pillar of support, not her punching bag. You're also not a mind reader. Granted, knowing her needs and giving her a hug when she needs one is a good sign of support, but it's not your job to read your partner's mind. They need to communicate better.
I definitely agree
Hmmm, but noo...I think we Should be able to sense the needs of people surrounding us. Be it a romantic relationship, our parents, children etc. We spend so much time around the closest to us that eventually they will see our ugly side and vice versa. It`s all about handling the situation. When a child comes to me crying I don`t tell her that "I am not your punching bag", if someone is feeling sad for days because they lost their job, I don`t diminish it and just give them a hug and pat on the back #supportjobdone. What he is talking about is our ying and yang energy. We all of course have both-feminine and male energy in our personality yet of course if being in a polarized relationship-we need to balance each other weaknesses. If you have a relationship with someone who is energetic, emotional, has lots of friends etc. and you love that part because it makes the life fun, we also need to accept the downsides-if they are sad they are really Sad etc. If someone is super stable the downside is that they might be boring, passive etc. and to make the romantic life fun-the other person balances it with being the active "firestarter". In the end Stepford wives and husbands only exist on the TV screen. Real life humans are more complex than that which means that we need to pay more attention. It`s called empathy. Realistically you cannot expect the other person always communicate their needs and desires off the bat like a psychological robot.
If only women said what they wanted in the first place lol
When a child comes crying to you, you provide a shoulder for them to cry on.
If that child came crying and then kicked you in the shin for no reason other than it made them feel better, would you deem it acceptable?
If an adult loses their job, you provide a shoulder for them to cry on and talk them through it.
If that adult loses their job, and starts yelling at you out of frustration, is that acceptable?
No.
@MaSTAR Media:
"If she's snapping at you because she's hungry or because she had an argument with a friend, that's transference, which is wrong."
It may be wrong, but it is common in most people. Folks snap, especially woman during the time when their hormones are in flux. It's biological.
IMHO, folks need to look at the bigger picture and not lay blame on either. Communication is the key (as you said), but men and women communicate differently. Both sides need to understand that and learn how the other communicate and NOT assume one is correct and the other wrong.
Just my opinion.
Im single...why am i watching this
Likewise, but it's certainly good stuff to think about in preparation for a relationship
same ikr
everyone is so wise before actually dating someone
For your future💕 and also, you can apply these ideas to your non romantic relationships ! 😊💕
Because you’re interested
Yes. I’ve always said a successful relationship is a union between two independently happy individuals.
Wow deep
This is the truest fact.
But that is incorrect. Your opinion is based on outdated theories in psychology. Modern research indicates that attachment and dependency are perfectly healthy ways of humans to express themselves. In fact, this notion that you have to be happy before entering in a relationship can have extremely destructive effects on people's mental health. In other words, it's okay to need to people. There is nothing unhealthy about that, and it's perfectly plausible to have a successful relationship without being "independently happy".
noxteryn i agree with you, but at the same time if one or both people lean on each other too much it’s unhealthy. but needing each other a little bit, i agree, is definitely a good thing
@@wereallpinkinside8452 Still... I think independent and happy is better.
I want to tell you the reason why women never say anything directly.
It's because she doesn't want you to do something as an obligation, just because she asked. She thinks that if you love her, you'll genuinely want to spend quality time with her, give her attention and be faithful to her. If you don't do it at your own will, she'd assume you're not interested, and she doesn't want to force you to do something you don't enjoy doing. She'll still be offended, but not at you not spending time with her. The offence lies much deeper, she'll assume you don't love her as much as she loves you. As a result, even if you force her to spill out what she wants, and give it to her, it still won't be the same because it will give an impression that you only do it because you serve your duty and not because you want and enjoy it from the bottom of your heart.
Jiminipple, that's deep...
Well, a lot of the time it's not so cut and dry. Some men cheat and still stay in the relationship. They are making the choice to stay, but not because they respect the relationship. They stay because it's easier than breaking up or they are scared to lose something that was important to them in the past. The one thing that women are scared of is not being enough and that someone is going to choosing someone else. That's why they really want their significant other to make actions from the bottom of their heart. Simply remaining in the relationship doesn't mean the guy loves her. We all have had fake friends and should of cut them out of our lives, but that's sometimes difficult.
Emotionally intelligent (who are balanced and can sense non verbal ques or social subtexts, etc etc,) men who easily initiate what is needed to done is the qualities in a good, stable partner. Men who say "why can't women just say what they want" aren't mature for a relationship.
Women can easily say what they want, then what, men just usually don't even do it. Even so, not everyone wants to be so direct. Thats not a fault.
They need to have the maturity to be able to sense things, initiative spirit, and good communication skills. Which aren't taught at all these days, because the baby boomer parents are TERRIBLE at those things themselves (most are divorced).
If you keep going "women this and women that" and blaming women all the time, it's actually you who needs to step up and develop because you aren't being a compatible person to the opposite gender. (I dont wanna hear "but dem womenz do ____", this comment is male critique.)
Yeah, as a guy I do that too. But it's a very unhealthy way of thinking. Humans aren't that black and white.
I agree it is unhealthy.
Hmm he is telling the truth, I noticed my relationship slipping so I...
- Removed my fear of rejection
- Started teasing
- Made space
And it saved it. It works. Give it a try.
hey, good for you man! that's amazing to hear.
I was too late 😔 she just broke up with me. Just when I realized what I needed to work on, she let us go to find herself.
@@joshuamarlaves3211 People change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. It's just an unfortunate situation you're in. But there's another important lesson. People won't wait. At least now you can get out there and really test your confidence.
@@nebairsoft I guess we were both new to this and weren’t aware that all relationships go through this but some save it soon enough to get back up. Its sad but its the reality. Thanks Ben! Hoping to find the light at the end of this tunnel
@@joshuamarlaves3211 let her go! FOCUS on yourself mate!
Fear will ALWAYS lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Pikapetey Animations so agree..
Never expected to find you here
Pikapetey Animations don't pretend you know how the universe works
its all just math.
Randy Reisig you don't understand the math.
“You need a purpose that is bigger than the relationship”. Simply having thought about this feels like a wake up call all of a sudden.
What purpose?
@@anuragsosa God
@@pietdeboer88 Anything else
Depending your happiness on your boyfriend or girlfriend is not a good idea especially in early relationship.
if it doesnt affect your happiness it wasn't love.
Nimity Tei She didn't say "affect" he said "depend", massive difference.
ever, actually
@@Vention1MGTOW well, this is ur opinion and u are entitled to that, i must however agree to disagree with u, majorly because what u are saying are generalisations and populism and such are allways false and have nothing to do with actual reality. I am trully sorry if u have been hurt in Life, and mostly by Woman it seems, and how u live ur Life is of course ur Choice and Responsibility.
The Best Advice imho is working on Oneself especially Therapeutically resolving Childhood Isues and Past Traumas, Nr. 1 Reason bc of Self Love, Nr. 2 Reason bc hurt people hurt people.....so starting with oneself is allways Best instead claiming that the entire half of Humans are "generally bad, unfaithfull....etc."
Doing so only makes one seem ILLOGICAL, very angry and bitter. Noone KNOWS all Woman on Earth (or Man!) so do urself a Favour and go do some Sports, eat some Soulfood or listen to Great Music or whatever makes u happy AND causes no harm to someone else.....and focus on ur Growth instead wasting ur Time with blameshifting and generalising. The Choice is still urs.
Rachel510126
wow 😮 your wisdom is truly astonishing!!!
1. Afraid of losing someone
2. Lost friends / bonding
3. Lost own purpose
The thing he feared came upon him
Major props for your openness, honesty and vulnerability in this video. Keep that going in your next relationship and you can both walk through those fears together (if it's the right partner for you)
How to Fix a Relationship from Breaking Down (Masculine Perspective):
1. Create time for male bonding/time apart.
2. Keep the things that attracted her to you in the first place
3. Find a purpose bigger than the relationship.
this
Oh, my God - this. Especially number 3. To quote the lyrics from The Diry of Horace Wimp by ELO: "Horace Wimp, this is your life, go out and find yourself a wife". and "Horace Wimp, this is your wife, go out and find yourself a life. Jeff Lynne had it nailed.
I'm sure there is some truth to the dichotomy of masculine and feminine core - which can definitely be applied in not just male/female relationships. I've been married and have been with my wife for 6 years and I can tell you that it all comes down to communication and honesty. Playing those passive games like, "Yea.. I'm fine." Doesn't fly and will drag a relationship down. You need a stable ground of honesty and mutuality; a relationship is a co-operation. If one party wants to play games instead of report issues that need fixed, the entire ship is going to sink.
This x10
I agree with both parties communicating but I also have to disagree about the masculine and feminine dichotomy. I don't think that it is effective in a relationship to simply ignore these differences, but recognize and respect it as equal but different. If you don't respect the others difference, resentment may develop in the other party even if it's not stated. However, these differences can create problems if both do not choose to work going beyond those differences. For example, if the guy is unable to pick up emotional or body language cues and if that's a masculine trait, then he has to work on that and vice versa with the female verbalizing her true feelings, all in all achieving the goal of communicating but also respecting each other's differences.
+N3GAT0RY Yes, you need a stable ground of honesty and mutuality; a relationship is a co-operation, or the entire Titanic ship is going to sink. Jack, i'll never let you go...(She let go). A relationship is going to be Decpacito like Luis Fonsi says. Patience, slowly.
that's the most overused example of a passive thing that stereotypically a girl says when she's not feeling well but doesn't want to admit it. But really the root cause of it is an unstable relationship. He is just not someone who is good at relationships. But I still watch him a lot because he's good at understanding people, charisma and how to make friends from a theoretical perspective.
N3GAT0RY I think that's was just an example he used for the video. But, you are so right there's only so many of those moment you can put up with, she needs to be upfront and honest if she expects to get what she wants/needs and it's our job to help her get it AFTER she's been honest and mature to explain because after that's what we need as the masculine
You have the most expressive eyebrows
So thats what was so strange to me about his face , unique , if you like. Thanks, I did not notice it :D hahha
Nah Emilia Clarke is still the Queen of Eyebrows
@@C1Mastermaukka I also think he has a wide mouth.
Young fella, already smarter than I was at that age. However the same advice goes to women too, they also need to keep their friends, hobbies, interests and part of their selves to themselves. You cannot do everything together. At the same time, long term couples need to have a one night a week where they focus on each other and that does not mean passively watching a movie. You have to participate in something interactive, doing an activity together or even having a nice night at home but with with actual conversations and fun.
Or more simply expressed, you shouldn't subjugate your individuality in favor of becoming a "joint unit", a we. You basically have to live your life that's only somewhat accommodating of your partner, otherwise you'll lose the *self* that drew your partner to you in the first place.
Lesa Smart
This young fella Is feeding of the information of older people so basically it’s “old wisdom” wrapped up in a never-ending carousel of black T-shirts don’t be fooled he got all this information from researching 60-year-old men’s failures And psychiatrists and other “men’s coaches” insight into how a successful relationship works.He’s a short termer because in order to keep up the energy needed to constantly be this way he’s going to make him Have a stroke at 40 years old LOL 😂
“at least his didn’t his girlfriend didn’t break up with him”
I loved this video because I just realised yesterday that this is happening and rather than waiting for my boyfriend to find out what he has to do, I simply told him what I really needed, a sense that he can count on me like I can count on him. He was going through a lot and tried to protect me from worrying about him and that made me feel like he can't count on me when he needs to go through tough times. I'd really appreciate it if you made a video about the same situation, but this time, what the feminine partner needs to do. Sure you had your own needs that you didn't express clearly and it would help if you did a second video on this exact situation.
That's really cool, I'm glad this made your relationship better 🌈💕💖
Dude, this perfectly reflects my own experience with my first long term relationship. It took me a long time to gather the insights you mentioned in this video, Im sure this will be very helpful to many guys!
also watch 500 days of summer
Nope, not at all, they'll hear this and it will go in one ear and out the other, until they experience it first-hand like you, he, and I did.
What she says: I'm not hungry
What she means: I'm hungry
What she needs: Your order of fries
Both of them. She knows you got her one but she wants both lol
True😜
Never let her touch your food ever, but always take some of her food and show no regard for how she feels about it.
@Kyle Kim DUDE YOU CRACKED OUR CODE
food just taste sooo much better when it's not yours! :P
Okay, I just realized I lost my masculine core... And I am a girl!
Thank you! Einstein's first girlfriend broke up with him, saying she needed two things; time and space.
Einstein still has no clue, "what ever was that second thing?"
Wow xD
I heard this other version, in which he replied “they are all relative.”
Lmao
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
@@kenneth6102 HAHAHAHA!
I love you, man. really glad to hear that you will be focusing on Charisma on Command again. You are the main reason that changed my life. Because of you, I became extrovert which I was meant to be for my whole life. Your course on Charismaoncommand University was the very first course that I bought on Internet and most valuable one. Really glad to see you talking in front of the camera with such a huge smile and pro actively. Hope to see your youtube contents weekly.
I can say that as a 22 yr old male with little to none romantic experience this was one of the best 15 min of content explaining what romantic relatioships are and mean, that I've ever seen.
James read 'men are from mars, women are from venus'. This book will help you a lot!
For the love of God dont take this advice, its horrible. Whenever you find yourself "guessing" what your partners needs are, the problem lies with them, not with you. Women, too, are responsible for their actions and communication. If a girl bitches to you because she's hungry, its a problem. In no way shape or form is getting annoyed by that you fault. This whole video is clear example of the feminization of men in current western civilation. Its sad, really.
disagree. imo; he's clearly stating that in order for the relationship to work you have to stay true to your own masculinity. He basically admitted he weakened himself and became obsessed and boring (beta behaviour) which lead to the breakup
James: I recommend the r/relationships subreddit.
No, please don't take this relationship advice! Women are not to be infantalized like this!
The amount of disrespect and nitpicking in the comments amaze me.
And tbh, I don't think that he is completely blaming himself in this video like some of you are claiming. Yes, it is unhealthy to blame yourself entirely for the downfall of the relationship, especially when you are at your weakest after the breakup, but I don't think that is what he is doing here. He is only giving HIS thoughts, telling you HIS shortcomings from HIS perspective, and how someone who is or had gone through something similar and did or is doing what he did can improve in the relationship. I think that he did not mention what his ex really did wrong as he does not have her thoughts or experiences and cannot describe it to you fully. Like he said he is just speaking from a masculine perspective and that there is a feminine perspective. 14:00
People like him are the ones who will grow out of their own shell. I can see all of his potential mistakes and should he ever end up in a relationship again he will know exactly what to watch out for.
Taking the responsibility is very masculine. Blaming her wouldn't really open up a better perspective, instead it leads to stagnation.
The fact he thinks his perspective is masculine is likely itself the wrong premise. "My masculine center", WTF does that even mean? Being so afraid the relationship would end and forcing it to work when it clearly was not defies reason and is not an attitude generally considered masculine. It shows lack of objectivity and too much emotional attachment to face the situation. Even the girlfriend didn't think the three weeks together would solve anything; perhaps she was more masculine. After all, what we generally deem masculine and feminine characteristics is a convention, but both sexes have a set of either traits. This guy, like many others, may not be as masculine as he thinks.
Spetsnaz
"Being so afraid the relationship would end and forcing it to work when it clearly was not defies reason and is not an attitude generally considered masculine."
Exactly, thus he said that he lost part of his "masculine energy" (or how he calls it in the video, masculine center). It wasn't his normal behavior, he lost himself. That doesn't mean he "may not be as masculine as he thinks"; you need to take into consideration the context to make such a statement.
By "masculine center" I'm pretty sure he's naturally more inclined to "masculine energy" than his "femenine energy" (everyone has both); take in mind that most people gravitate towards one and it's really difficult to be perfectly balanced. So it makes sense what he said in the video, if you think about it.
I hope you have a nice day/night~
@@louise558 He didn't lose his masculine center as he puts it so nicely, rather the masculine attributes he thought he possessed (because there are social and cultural pressures forcing men and women to behave in certain different ways) were put to the test and failed. He is simply not as masculine as he believes or wishes to portray himself, and this relationship as an experience brought it to light. No one is 100% masculine or feminine; this guy just found his feminine side is more prominent under stress.
I mean, it can certainly be the case. But I do think that he may have been influenced by the femenine energy of his partner throughout the relationship; as he mentioned, he discovered a wider range of emotions that he had until they met. And yes, I know no one is 100% masculine or femenine, as I said in my previous comment.
My girlfriend broke up
And I woke up
😂😂
Then I broke down
And she woke down
best comment
Same man
This is why in the beginning of my relationship I encourage my gf to always communicate how she feels/want/needs
This video made me realize that I (a feminine girl) have always been the masculine center in relationships, but in my experience, it's not about being feminine or masculine. It's about being a realist or a dreamer. A logical person or an emotional person. I would love to hear other opinions about this, so feel free to comment!
Creative Name agreed. i dont think personalities should be distinguished by genders
Creative Name Why not be a logical dreamer who sometimes gets emotional?
Creative Name agreed 100%. My relationships have always had the opposite dichotomy that he described, but the dichotomy was still there. I'm the spontaneous "don't ever make plans just do" kind of guy, and I've always been drawn to the hold up lets make plans and make sure everything goes right kind of girls. The labeling of masc or femme doesn't bother me too much since I understand what he's saying and I'm secure in my masculinity, but it definitely can be confusing to people that see themselves in the description of their opposite gender. I think dropping those words would be helpful at the very least in giving the ability to express ourselves more clearly
Makes me wonder if relationships work better with Dreamer + Logical or With Dreamer+Dreamer / Logical+Logical...
RNGrino Kripperino Well I definitely do think that you'll have more harmony inside a relationship if it's D+D or L+L, but it's going to be extremely one-sided. One needs both Logic and Dreams and if you go for full Logic or full Dreams, you may get into trouble because of that.
This is absoluetly brilliant, how the hell can anyone be so objective in the reasoning while accessing their past behaviors??!! Truly brilliant
Sarah JaeLynn by being honest. There are dozens of us....dozens!
Sarah JaeLynn I can do this to because I make so many mistakes and try to learn sooo much about it to avoid mistakes
snapperman7 it's hard to meet the other dozens in a planet of billions though. Lol, seriously though, this level of character is sadly rare to find :(
Easy. He's not objective. I agree with some of what he said, and he's definitely coming from a good place (trying to analyze your mistakes and all), but he sure ain't unbiased. Everything sounds smart and objective when you say it to people who trust you.
Olivier Faure The guy in this video is catering to a female audience. He takes all the blame for the failure, talks as if HE should have known better. Never bringing up anything about the ex possibly not being mature enough for a long term relationship with an honest man.
This seems like a classic case of how many relationships end.
When you build your life around that person, you immediately put them into a cage, you included. A relationship is not built into itself, it's built to be shared with hers and your family, friends and community.
Gentlemen he's right...
I also fell hard for my ex... She was attracted to me because I was fun to be around, I had friends with ton s of crazy stories to tell her, Im ambitious, and was a dreamer....Well I stopped hanging with the boys, so no more stories to tell her... I did focus on my life goals but didnt including her in any of my dreams...I stopped being fun around because I was scared it would mess up the relationship.... Stay centered boys, she will constantly test you and if you fail... you lose her :(.... Oh well more money in the bank :)
She was probably a broken person and looking for an entertaining good time, not a long term committed relationship .
You are right, we got to have purpose bigger than relationships, for me my purpose is to be a better person every single day and work for my goals
Don't even try, bro. You're a pathetic waste of space and you're going to die alone. Just accept it. You're worthless.
Louis Nylan
wtf dude
I like how you tROLLING
If that's really you in the pic Louis, i can see why you're like that.
*The amount of disrespect in the comments...*
Its so fucked up
Pretty shocking
Quantum235 righht?!
The amount of boldness in yours.
It's the internet, not a group therapy
Charlie,keep up the great work...
Screw all the low-lifes thats in the comment section,they could live-up their pathetic insignificant life for all we know...
Just so you know you're changing my perspective about approaching relationship & basic human nature.
Don't stop bro,you're making changes and thats a good thing.
Peace
This is exactly why I broke up. Wow.
Me too
Me too
I think thats where im headed too mans. Any advice on moving on?
@@joshuamarlaves3211 It's terrible. If you're still in the relationship and you love her, consider telling her y'all should a break of a week or two without talking. That'll give you some time to think about what is best for you. But if it's already over, get yourself a new hobby and spend lots of time with your friends. It will keep your mind off her, you might even consider unfriending on social media. Hope you get through your troubles and that 2021 is a better year for you.
@@MusicByTomas Thanks for this man! She just broke up with me and it has been tough. However our breakup was happy, it was the first time we actually expressed that we love each other genuinely for the past few months. I asked her if the breakup was really necessary and she said she needs to do it or else we’d be stuck in the same cycle. Then I told her I’m not giving up on her and on us and I hope that in her way of finding herself and getting lost in the process, we’d find our way back to each other. I really love her man. I hope we eventually settle our individualities and celebrate them together again, soon. Thanks for being a safe space man. I’ll work on myself for now and meet her once again as my true self.
WOW, having a relationship is harder than I thought O_O
And whatever you're thinking currently, relationships are harder than that as well.
Whomever tells you they’re easy is lying
I'm in a 4 year relationship, it's extremely hard
And the crazy thing is that as hard as it is (if it's right) it's also the easiest, most worthwhile, beautiful thing
Yes. .. It seems I don't want. . . Lol
This is what overthinking looks like.
A lot of people are saying the girl should explain to the guy why she’s upset and not expect them to read their mind and I agree, however, in my past relationship anytime I got upset, my boyfriend got angry and I genuinely believe that it’s the wrong response to have, even though it may be coming from a somewhat thoughtful place. There’d be times where I’d explicitly explain to my ex that I was just feeling down and that I’d get over it eventually, and instead of receiving compassion and understanding of the emotions I was going through, I was greeted with confusion and frustration, and him having the urge to try and make me feel better immediately, as if I had a switch I could just turn off. I’m human, I go through difficult times often for no real reason. I’ll try my best to explain why but I can by no means just “stop being sad” suddenly. To me that’s very artificial and robotic. When he was upset I let him go through the motions, but he didn’t give me that same reaction and I genuinely believe that had a significant effect as to why we separated.
Still hurting but looking back at what went wrong can slowly make you realize why it probably happened the way it did.
Very good point. It's like practicing assertiveness not just for oneself but also for the partner, to accept emotions as they are, to give them space, instead of forcing them and try to get only desired ones. And as everyone knows: To give emotions their space is the best way to handle them. An ex of mine also mentioned in our break-up time that she had trouble with my depressive phases, without reflecting any possible solutions (even though I was never aggressive or rejecting in these phases) which gave me the feeling of not being good or loveable as I am and that there is no space for parts of my personality. Well, I guess it is better to not continue such a relationship.
Dude, after listening to your video, I think you have tried very hard for this relationship. Who wouldn't lose themself a little bit during a relationship? At the end of day, it is too much to ask a human to be perfect at all times.
I came here after the confidence video and there you said "always have an exit plan". And I agree with it this and what you say now as well. Try to keep the relationship going but "no matter what happens you'll be fine"
This happened to me a few months ago and I was devastated. We were together for 2 years and everything you said happened. What made it worse was I never HAD a center, I came in to the relationship while I was trying to form one and what I had assembled fell apart and it became just a toxic nightmare. It is frustrating because she is still so close to my heart and I want to be able to show her how I have grown as a person since the breakup, but it will never happen. Cheers to you charlie, I hope the good you are giving comes back to you.
What the hell is going on in the comments!? Is this normal for this channel? It's really sad. I don't usually venture down here and I won't do it again. The lack of respect and kindness is actually so disheartening. Makes me wonder how people like that can even exist.
TheBrownLamb because this is about a break up, people view it as a weakness because they never been in a real relationship and don't think it can happen to them
TheBrownLamb How can you actually be surprised? Its ALWAYS been like this in youtbe comments. People become emboldened by anonymity and will say anything
Most of youtube comments are people who dont have anything better to do. Most people dont even care what the videos talking about... So theyre just arguing something about they dont know about as well. Nor do they even watch the video.
Welcome to the internet.
You have to realize that people of all ages and all kinds of upbringing roam the internet. Also the anonymity of the internet gives people the impression they don't have to be respectful towards others cause the social feedback is less impactful since it comes from anonymous people and it can be completely ignored if desired.
Passive aggression and childishness are not patently female behavior. Being the adult in the relationship is not patently male behavior.
I appreciate your willingness to analyze your part in what went wrong, that is the sign of a mindful adult. What you lost was your sense of self. Happens to people all the time, not just bros.
Find yourself a mindful adult, but that means you'll have to look at their personality first not their "assets".
exactly. masculine center schmasculine schmenter, what he lost was his independence.
Thank you so much for this post I've been binge watching this series of videos with great interest for the past several weeks and they have helped in many ways. This particular one lost me. I am having trouble following what the message is and don't want to just chalk it up to entertainment. Perhaps they have already revisited this and I have not come across that installment just yet. As a female, I was trying to understand what being a man or masculinity had to do with this situation. It's a person issue NOT a male/female thing. Thanks so much for the clarity!!!
Exactly people should work on themselves more so as to not strain the relationship and actually have something to give into it not take from it and if both parties do this everyone gives and takes win win equalling healthy relationship, dude might have lost his center or whatever but i think that relationship was too much work for him at one time that he actually got lost into it because he desperately needed it to work considering all the effort he had put into it .
This is me in a nutshell. I’d start off strong with a “nothing to lose” mentality when introducing myself to her, being that her interest in me doesn’t matter to the quality of my life. But when she actually falls in love with me, I have something to lose because I love her back and it would always make it hard to just be me. I would then play it safe and be super cautious not to say anything offensive, unattractive or unintentionally rude to keep myself from scaring her away. It’s a continuous pattern and I just wanted to thank you for the advice. Helped a lot.
Woa same dude yet im a girl
I definitely understand the part about loosing your masculine center near the end of a relationship. Hits so close to home.
I wish my ex had the self awareness, the courage and the wisdom you have.
We all make mistakes. We always can improve.
Thank you for sharing your life experience and giving me hope about men.
Daya Tom or you could have been honest with your ex? Help a guy out every once in a while.
Daya Tom hi 👋 are you Ukrainian? Or Slavic?
Man, wishing the partner be better than he was? Our partners are usually only half of the problem. The other half is us.
@@insertnamehere6609 Projecting much?
@@silentalliance3269 Nope. Bulgarian.
Where was this video 6 month to a year ago, when I did indeed lose myself out of fear of losing her, and now I have in fact lost her? Damn, it all makes sense now. Here's to rediscovering my masculine center and perhaps win her back. :) Thanks for a greatly insightful video that has shown me what exactly went wrong. 'cause that was almost word for word, situation for situation, what did indeed go wrong in my relationship. I am stunned at the specificity and the level of recognition.
Wishing you luck man. I'm in the same boat and its so crazy how doing everything you think you have to to not lose the person you love actually ends up making them leave :P
Wow- you are absolutely incredible. Thank you so much for this, you have no idea how much this meant to me.
+DeathAngleZoe He has balls, balls...how can you do this? She was your girlfriend, wow. She must be so embarrassed, the family, everybody. Great lesson and advice, but man...he's a Super Saiyan now hahaha.
I was expecting something weird because of the dislikes... but this was really great advice, thank you for sharing your personal experience :)
Mmmm, I wouldn't go so far as to call it losing you "masculine center", you just lost your center. Masculine/Feminine has nothing to do with it other than potentially influencing the symptomatic behaviors that emerge as a result. I think what happened could (and does) happen to anyone, regardless of age, sexual identity, or orientation.
Somewhere along the line, you became insecure about the stability/future of your relationship and as a result you gradually:
Over-isolated yourself from your friends
Got complacent in the realm of excitement/energy
Abandoned your natural/more colorful persona/demeanor/behaviors
Allowed the relationship to become the motivation for life itself
Anyone of any gender or "center" may (or may not) express insecurity in their relationships in different ways than you; but the things you note as lacking or losing were symptoms of the larger issue, which was becoming insecure about the relationship. So, the relationship transformed from a "living connection", to an objective status....From something that needs to be nurtured and cared for, to something that needs to be salvaged and maintained.
As for where our insecurity comes from, why it's there, and how we address it... That's a question we can only answer for ourselves.
I 100% agree. Preach 🙌👏🏻
Its all about how you grew up...Mom and daddy gave no emotional attention??...well your girl is in for a hell of ride with you haha...But you rapped it up perfectly...
Enjoy being single...date around...dont get in anything serious until that Emotional connection is there...my mistake was rushing it...lol ex gf was controlling overcrictical monster
Thank you for the great explanation! I was trying to figure out why I was feeling a little weird about the usage of "masculine/feminine" terms to describe a person's center.
I recently just broke up with my 2-years bf and I know I have my own faults in it, but the main reason I broke up with him was because I felt like he didn't bring any additional values to my life anymore. He did become very afraid of losing me in the end that, ironically, caused him to lose me.
I wish I could hear Charlie's perspective on how I (a girl or the "feminine" partner) made mistakes though, or how I could've done better or helped make this relationship work.
@@rouyingtan8240 because you're a crybaby who thinks benign words like masculine and feminine are offensive
@@jenniboo9441 And you're a crybaby who thinks people who don't like gendered terms are offensive
Honesty the most relatable video I have seen from you guys so far. My ex and I just broke up, we had been together for 2 years and when I met her I made it clear that I had a goal and I was going to get that goal with or without her. Overtime I let myself get lost more and more in the relationship and eventually she became my number one goal. Marrying her became my number one goal and because of that it meant that I was willing to give up on all of my other goals if it meant that I could focus on the things I thought she wanted and making her happy above all else. I lost that grounded mentality of "this is what I want to do in life and you can tag along if you want or you can not" and it became "I don't want to do anything without you there with me". I am glad that I have seen this video and I really do feel as though I have learned exactly what I did wrong and now I know how to fix myself and grow. Thanks Charlie, your content is so inspiring and I can't wait to watch another one of your videos
Ya boy,
Josh🤙✌️
One partner shouldn’t just be tagging along with the other though, you both need to value each other’s goals and work toward them together
Its good you were able to see what the cause was. Like you said, never lose that masculine core. Always have something greater than the relationship itself (which shouldn't be as controversial as it is).
Not sure I'm completely sold on the idea of "masculine" and "feminine" centres. It seems a bit... stereotypical. Can you elaborate on what you mean by this?
Other than that, I enjoyed this video. It was honest and vulnerable, I can only imagine the courage you must have had to share this. It seems you're also learning how to have healthy relationships, as we all do through experience. I'm sorry for the pain you suffered through, but honestly, by reflecting and reevaluating our past behaviours (which you do very well), we can emerge stronger and happier afterwards.
You dont have to label it as masculine or feminine but it's just true
Imagine dating someone and then breaking up and they make a 15 minute video about it to their millions of followers afterwards
I watched a ton of these videos before getting to this one, and this is the first time I've found myself in disagreement. "Masculine core" doesn't really mean anything. To find one's center means to be balanced. You need to fill your life not just with the intense relationship of a romantic partner, but also with the simpler joys of platonic connections with other human beings. It's not about finding time with just the guys, and I've had incredible friendships with women in my life who have fulfilled exactly the role you described as the benefits of male bonding.
This channel toes the line of being gender and hetero-normative frequently, but this was the first time I felt like that line was really crossed.
Well he's still young.
So true!!!!
That moment you find a video that reflects exactly what you need at exactly the right time in your life to receive it. Been slaying your videos lately and they're brilliant, the world needs more men... scratch that... people, like you. You're a champion.
Same here
will it be possible for you to do a video on ways/tips to not place romantic relationships as our number 1 priority? Because that is definitely something that I do very often and find myself 'losing myself' in relationships to try and keep them "perfect". Much appreciated
J J ya of course you are right eventually.
Find yourself before getting in a relationship.
goldenrootsnet can't argue with that. I failed a might-be relationship years ago and I realized that the single reason for failure was simply put that I wasn't truly myself around the person. Be it talking to her and whatnot, I some details of my life because I was afraid she'd think I'm boring. Afterwards I managed to salvage some wisdom from this occurrence and it's my life wisdom actually, that is simply to pursue your true self. Obvious right? Being afraid of other people's opinions made act as if I was someone else and lost myself in the progress. Doing things we love to do and sharing our opinions about the things we are interested in make us attractive to others. And with self-approval make us happy, being what we want to be. And pursuit of happiness is the goal for my life at least.
No.
Learn what makes you truly happy in life and I mean REAL happines,
then reevaluate and restructure your life to better reflect that understanding.
Don't compromise on your core values, but also don't be afraid to challange them so you can make sure that they are sound.
"What is honor compared to a woman’s love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms... or the memory of a brother’s smile? Wind and words. Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy."
Mr. Svilkic ouu i lov this
Pro tip: the internet will eat you alive if you show weakness. Maybe avoid making videos like this unless you want to deal with a bunch of douche bags in the comments section. But interesting perspective on your breakup.
Nathan Hamel spot in.
Showing weakness and being weak do not mean the same thing. In fact, there's stronger argument that being able to show your weakness is a strength. While internet trolls and douchebags might try to tear down Charlie, I think he's strong and smart enough to deflect all this nonsense.
Nathan Hamel you don't have any male friends, do you? This is how male bonding works. If you want to be cuddled go to your mom or your girlfriends.
Rolando Rios, yeah but you know what: Charlie ain't here for male bonding. He's here to help us get through situations he has experienced and we may not have experienced yet. Sharing one's own experience doesn't mean making friends, it may just be what he likes doing.
Hes talked about negativety like thsi before, Pretty sure it doesn't bother him that much.
As a woman I would say that what you say is similar to a woman's experience. I dont think its a masculine perspective, its just the integrity of having your own character and passions.
Every single thing you said played a part in why my girlfriend and I broke up as well. I stopped doing what I love, stopped going out with friends, stopped paying attention to my family, all I wanted was her all I had was her and it was devastating when we broke up but that made me realise that I have to pay more attention to my life, that if I want to make someone happy I myself must be happy. Self love is very important part in life, IT IS NOT BEING SELFISH, it just that you help yourself be happy.
I completely agree about finding a greater purpose than your relationship. Don't have one? Create one!
...but Charlie, what about what she offered to you? Did she listen to and cater towards your needs and wants in her own way? Relationships are a thing for two, so to tango, you can't just have one person doing the evaluations and compromise. O.o
We all know that's not true, atleast not in the western world. Here women have plenty of men to choose between prepared to cater to their every need and reproduce at almost double the rate compared to males.
i'm sure they both tried and they were both at fault for certain things. He seems like a bright guy. I doubt he would settle for less than that.
@@h.franzen4186 ain't gonna lie bruh, that's kinda toxic to see them like that
I think your advice applies to women as well. It got me thinking. Thank you for sharing your personal experience and wisdom with us :)
This video has been life changing. I was in the EXACT same predicament. I lost sight of my mission and goal and just focussed on making us work. Luckily I nipped it in the bud before it was too late thanks to her! She recommended this video to me. Vision is key.
Breaking up is the hardest thing about a relationship but there are things that you really need to do it because you are no longer beneficial to each other. Just accept everything because every heartaches you take is just temporary.
I do like the way you analyze this, as in, the process that you went through. But to be honest, it really annoys me that a lot of women keep doing this. Not saying what you actually want or need, wanting a man that somehow miraculously always knows what you want or need based on his ´intuiton´. I think the reflexive side you show as a person in your videos, wether you´d be a guy or a girl, is what makes you desirable as a partner. I always try to enact my ´femaleness´ without making subtle comments to convey an unspoken message, because I noticed that life is so much easier and more fun once you just drop these indirect cues and start communicating with a healthy degree of self reflexivity. Thank you for making this video, but please don´t let this breakup make you think you need to get a better sense of unspoken needs in order to have a healthy relationship, even if a masculine feminine dichotomy is what you like or desire. Note that there are females outside that try to fight the stereotyped responses her gender presupposes to her, and who think that if she is able to succeed in this, men as well as women may have a way more relaxed way of intimate communication.
Started rewatching your videos a few days ago and was affected again by your first breakup video, which hit home. Funny how breakups are a part of life for nearly everyone but that doesn't mean it lessens the pain or impact it has on each of us.
hipnhappenin what video is it
Every person you form a relationship with is different. It will effect you one way or another, especially when it ends.
I'm in a lesbian relationship, but all this is relevant!
I fantasize about and support Lezbos. I always wondered, in a lesbian relationship, does one woman always take the male role? Or do some lesbian couples both take feminine roles? Just curious. Thank you.
That's because despite what many people are saying masculine and feminine aren't dependent on gender/sex (whatever you'd like to call it) and are simply used to describe characteristics and actions that tend to manifest together. Along with how the two react with each other.
Thank you for this video. I'm going through a break-up which I actually chose myself because I wanted to be able to love myself and be happy on my own (we've been together since I was 16 so I never learned to be on my own). However, I'm having so much trouble letting go of him, but the things you say are very relatable for me, like relying on my boyfriend to make me feel good, that's probably why I feel so lost right now, I need to find the things that really give me joy again. Thank you.
Thank you for this! It's realy brave to share about personal experience and review the "mistakes"/ experiences you made.
I have one suggestion though. I think it's better to refer to losing your "center" than your "masculine center". As a female person I can confirm that it is not just a male problem: it's about the sense of purpose in the world, about the meaning of being and about being in balance. And while there are differences that are specific to male and female people, being in their center is one of the things all humans need to figure out in the messy multi-agent environment called life :)
A lot of truth in this video. My relationship of 8 years ended recently and I've been racking my brain for weeks on how and where it all went wrong. At first I was stunned, and absolutely devastated. I was a wreck for weeks. We were supposed to be together forever! We bought a house together!
I think she basically got bored and I don't really blame her. Although we still did fun things together reasonably regularly... I had taken the relationship for granted, and had always really sort of seen it as my ultimate goal and purpose in the first place, and when the goal was attained, I (or we both) didn't really realize that it was supposed to be a work in progress, instead of a work completed. And I didn't really have much besides the relationship in the end. I mean I have a job, friends, interests etc... but I guess not some great ambition or purpose outside of the relationship. I also recognize it when you say you stopped enjoying things you used to enjoy and turned to her/the relationship instead. And right now I just feel anchorless and drifting. I haven't really kept up much with some of my interests of the past. I kind of lost myself in the relationship for sure. My gf also contributed of course to us drifting apart and she made mistakes as well but I can only work on myself and take responsibility for my own actions. I hope I can incorporate the lessons from this in my life in the future.
I relate to this completely. It's exactly the same situation I was in. She's not with me anymore but we're friends now... I don't know if it's possible to get her back.
Go for it dude. I'm in the same situation as you,but we didn't met for the last 2 months,so what i have just done,is to boos tup the things she loved in me,and changes when it comes to the things i was not good at,i even progressed when it comes to sport to become generally better in my life.
If your ex sees that you are good in your life without her,and you are even better than when you loved eachother,she can come back to you.
(but it will take time,clearly)
Luke Lelievre the key to getting her back is not wanting her back.
The universe loves irony
When you don't overreact on the break up,don't talk to her too much,don't make it seem that you have not already moved on and also look like things are getting better in your life and follow the things that i said before. It actually increases the chance to have her back.
I've seen many friends do this,and it works ( not always,but it does when it is rightly done). So i think he should try at least,he has nothing to loose afterall.
Completely agree with you,it sure is difficult to get an ex back. And if she doesn't even give some hints,you have to give up.
Dude, they pretty correct, you just should try to return her in any way. The thing is we tend to stuck on person and overrate the actual qualities and merits of "THE ONLY PERSON I NEED IN THIS LIFE!!!". The only viable choice you have to move on, and by moving on I mean just absolutely stop any communication with dat_girl if it's possible, stop open again and again her social networks and get rid of any reminders of her, because you want to get free of any references that could bring you to sadness and regrets. And then you need to focus on your life, just become better, start to make more money and do things which make you feel happy and alive, which turns you on. Because the sad truth is she rejected the current version of you, you have to face it. Just invest in yourself and became better version of yourself, not sad-same-version-of-you-which-can't-face-rejection-and-tries-to-force-her-to-give-you-attention. And when you make yourself better, your next relationship will be better with her(statistically unlikely, tho) or even without her. But it should be next relationship, not the one already died and which you try to resurrect.
The video literally explained exactly why my relationship broke. It broke a long time ago but I couldn't put my finger on "WHY".
omg. this video literally gave me an epiphany, not even about a relationship, but about life itself. Even if i'm a women, I think it's the same thing, except i would replace it with my friends that make me who I am and give me reasons to enjoy life and love it
Thank you
This is incredibly true. Basically I’ve had this friend for about 2 years now and it’s always been a bit push-pull like one day we’d get closer and a couple of days later we’d be going apart. Over time I realised that I should just be true to myself and keep that solid core like you said. Remaining unreactive in stressful times and not pushing it further. Instead focusing on helping them learn how to settle in with people they may not like and not overreacting when things go wrong. Anyway, I think this video really helped me understand this better. Although it’s very hard to put into words. I really respect you for thinking about these things so much and taking the time to help others too. Thanks
I think your putting too much emphasis on your short comings, Two people in a relationship and two people are at fault. I think that perhaps your hurting right now and just looking for answers to explain why things went wrong. Realize it isn't your responsibility to molly coddle her feelings, nor is it her responsibility to do so for yours. As we grow and mature our needs change over time. As is often the case with relationships the person we needed before is not the person we need now, But we stick the relationship out because we are taught that to tough things out is better than to make a clean break and start again. Change is scary change is hard but sometimes change is for the best.
Josh Templeaars It sounded like she played jump rope with her emotions
What she did or did not do is not relevant. It's over the past is the past, time for him to move on. Seems like he is hurting, it's written all over his face.
He's grieving, that takes time. Considering he just dedicated a 15 minute video on this is proof enough that he's not ready yet
Indeed it does, but there is a difference between grieving and letting your self be stuck in the past. The longer you dwell on what if's and why for's the harder it will be to claw your way back to being well ( I speak from experience ). It's more than ok to hurt and be sad about it, but as this video proves he's looking for answers that when everything is said and done really don't matter. He needs to look forward not back.
Josh Templeaars completely agree, I did the same after my break up and it does give you insight, but carrying the burden isn't healthy and a bit narcissistic
His smile is brighter than my future.
I can relate. Had my first 'real' serious girlfriend in my last year of college. I also live with depression. It was MUCH worse than it is now. We basically hooked up first time, talked for awhile, and then ended up getting together. She was the first person I could actually talk to and be personal with
Our relationship lasted about 8 months before she broke up with me. Turns out my depression wasn't going away and she didn't want to be around someone like that.
That's when I learned that being a fun person, having respect for yourself, and making time for other things is important. I stopped going to parties because I would only use them for hookups. Turns out I should have kept going to parties, kept keeping myself happy, and not let my girlfriend and roommates dominate my social life.
Live and learn. Not down to tell my entire life story in a post. At least I learned how to love from this one. Next time I can be a better boyfriend :)
Things will get better
My do is to your self-awareness and your growth mindset. We live, we learn, am I right?
Great points ! Two people with a purpose and full life that come together and can share their unique experiences with one another while continuing to grow and help each other is a great recipe for love! When you stop doing things you love and the person becomes the only purpose of your world, it’s so true as you said that it can go south. I’m so sorry for anyone who has gone through that. I like the point mentioned that any relationship needs that masculine/feminine contrast to thrive. I’d like to add that some men are more feminine and some women are more masculine, and knowing that about yourself is important because you need the opposite energy to balance you out...just because someone’s gender is male/female doesn’t always mean they have the right energy to compliment what your core self needs.
Very helpful insight into this kind of relationship situation. I'm currently going through some tough times with my partner, but what you've been talking about has really helped see things more clearly. It's helped me realize my need to be grounded, and to be myself - to know that I can be happy with just myself and being just independent. Feeling that your partner adds so much much value to your life is perfect, but you should never feel that your life will lose all its meaning without them. Thank you for your perspective and advice on all this :)
This is an interesting perspective, I do feel you've put a little too much focus on masculinity/feminity though... you don't have to have a 50/50 fem/masc balance in a relationship for it not to crumble, I'm of the belief that being more emotional and more traditionally feminine helps relate to one another better - anxiety seems to be the main issue you mentioned, as well as a lack of balance between your social life and relationship. I like the way you broke this video down though, and just the fact you were willing to share something so personal :)
In my humble general TH-cam educated opinion: I saw a TH-cam video I saw that stated it in simple terms.
Feminine = gatherer characteristics = stereotypically communicating all the details, listening, and taking guidance in trade for protection because as females, more dangers come towards us as the baby makers back in the ice ages. Bigest fear: being abandoned
Masculine = hunter characteristics = quietly social , needs other male interactions to protect the tribe, big picture minded ( he brought back the moose, he don't care about how he killed it. the fact is that there is food to eat) Bigest fear: being a failure
Why is this important? Because both do not know how to communicate to each other in the way the other will understand / not take offense.
Both do not know how to listen to each other because we both are looking out for our way of thinking and not the other person.
A relationship is the biggest challenge anyone can take. It will make you grow in or out of the experience.
Especially when there is love and history between the two.
Smart post. Very insightful.
I'm a girl and my biggest fear is failure. I don't care much for relationships or talking
Rudolph Rudolph
Having a "femenine energy" or "masculine energy" it's not related to your gender, in fact everyone has a combination of those two
@@chocolatecharley99 Same here🙋♂️
And unfortunately in western culture only the men try to understand women. They might fail but at least they try. The women make no such effort to understand men
You can't just blame yourself, that's ridiculous
Boat but it's even more ridiculous to just blame only her...
Boat - He's not blaming himself, he reflected back on his situation and now giving us advice on what he found. Basically he looked back and asked himself what he could have done better to learn from it for the future, rather than just saying it's all my fault (or even worse: it's all her fault). And THIS is the best mindset you can have in life.
He's not blaming himself, he's pointing out what he thinks were his mistakes. He didn't say she didn't commit any, is just that it's pointless to make a video talking about what others did wrong in a relationship. All he can do is help others learn from his flaws
Boat You can only change yourself, you can't change others. So taking responsibility for what you've done and becoming better is the only way to improve and make things better in the future. It's not a thing of blame it's a thing of taking responsibility, saying this is what I did and didn't do and improving from there.
Answer to all of you: I never said he should blame her for every thing, how can some of you really think that that's what I meant? But it sounds to me like he thinks he could have saved the relationship which is not a healthy way to think about it. It is however good to improve yourself and admit your faults. If only one person in the relationship is ready to work hard ot maintain it then there are problems...
I hope you read jiminipple post also because it's on point as to why we never say what we want and leave it up to the guy to make his own decisions. In a way it's sort of like a test. It's sad that it is but it's a way we gauge how you're truly feeling about us are and the level of seriousness you take us.
I absolutely agree and it took me a lot of years to see this- both in myself, and in others. It's really important to have- and maintain- interests outside of your relationship. It keeps you interesting to your SO, it keeps you grounded...and it gives you a place of refuge if the relationship ends anyway. I see altogether too many people who ditch all their friends and all their interests and wrap themselves completely up in their relationship, and when that relationship inevitably ends, they are absolutely devastated.
11:20 "The purpose to every relationship is that you provide the reflections to the other that allows them to become more of themselves as they do they do the same for you. Period." - someone once told me that
As always, wonderful video
and sorry about what happened.
This is why I subscribed to you man. Keep up the good work
Man, so spot on... Almost literally about me. Thanks for sharing, now I see my mistakes much clearer!
30 years old and so emotionally intelligent - inspiring. Thank you for sharing so much with us!
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The masculine center thing ("everyone should have a masculine center") was the only thing that made me really cringe 😂 loved and appreciated everything else💕 thanks for being so open and sharing your thoughts and deepest feelings 💕
Great video, incredible advice. Vulnerability appreciated. Respect.
Thank you! This really gives me a lot of closure, because I had an extremely similar relationship.
I just lost a relationship of four years because of this exact thing. I've tried so hard to give her everything she asked for the past 6 months. And I thought I'd done everything I should have done.
I came to this channel looking for enlightenment on my previous relationship, and now I have it. Thank you
I've experienced basically the same, however I did not realized it. When my gf broke up with me I felt almost betrayed, she told me she was losing herself into the relationship, however I now realize that we both were doing so. We just had to let each other go and let recover their center. Thank you for sharing this, I feel more connected to you and Im sure this will help me a ton
yo can i have any GIRLFRIENDS
no, GIRLFRIEND machine broke
under standable have a great day
I found this much funnier than I should have.
steijn vanb ?
Mist Holley it's a reference to a meme.
Bruh, I'm deadass horney right now.
Sounds to me like you blame yourself for the breakup. No No No!!
It is also possible that she was not ready to settle down, that she was just a child, that she still wanted to explore life, that she could not see your future together because had no future, because she thought she was a loser.
Men can get wrapped in women's beauty and forget, there can be a tiny small person behind that pretty face and sexy body. And that person would love you for calling them out and remind them of their shortcomings until they grow up.
Putting anyone on a pedestal is a recipe for disaster.
Чарли, спасибо!❤ Как же сильно ты прав 😔 Очень жаль, что я поняла это только спустя 2 года после расставания с моим парнем. Одержимость человеком - это уже не любовь, это извращение. И это чувство трудно назвать здоровым. Мы расстались, и я еще 2 года пыталась все вернуть, и вот сейчас я понимаю, какой же глупой я была( Надо уже возвращаться к жизни. Надеюсь, у меня получится наконец перестать зависеть от этого чувства нужды в человеке и я со временем вновь обрету себя
Константин Лихарев, может, это сделано в надежде, что кто-то это здесь переведет на английсаий🤔 Хотя в принципе если Чарли читает коменты, гугл транслейт ему в помощь)
EugeneOther Ну, на уровне интуиции (и гугла 😂)
Я тоже согласна. Мне кажется, что из-за комплексов мы очень часто ищем кого-то, кто бы постоянно хвалил нас, восхищался и так далее. Но когда в отношениях чувства сходят на нет, приходит страх, что мы, наверное, теперь уже недостаточно хороши, который может привести к зависимости в отношениях, если у нас нет другого занятия, в котором мы чего-то достигаем.
Но вот проблема: как только находишь что-то помимо отношений, подобные комплексы просыпаются в твоём парне, который начинает ко всему ревновать... Как быть?
Cyka blyat
+EugeneOther What is this Greek language? It looks like it. I can't understand what you typed.
DragonSwordMountain it's Russian
I understand you completely. I lost my center as well. It happens. At the time I din't know, and it drove my life out of control when the broke up happen. I realized how different I was at the beginning of the relationship and how I was at the end. The person I dated was the first person I had ever fallen in love for, and the only person I've dated at that point. Our relationship was over the span of three years, but we knew each other since we were 15 (I am 21 years old now, we broke up a year ago). I get how not everything is our fault when it comes to things like this, but moving is really hard and painful when you realize you'd have to give up a percentage of your heart that you gave to that person. Anyways, great video man! And sorry for your loss.
I think this advice’s can be applied to man and women alike. I loved this video. So centered and grounded to reality. Your relationship will inevitably wilt if it becomes the center of your own person. A relationship is made up of two people, with different goals but the same values; that work toward the improvement of first themselves, and then their partners. Relationships are just a medium to improve as a person, not the "end-all-be-all" of that improvement.