NRM Rethinking Gift Giving
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 มิ.ย. 2024
- This holiday season, we need to take a step back and ask a couple of questions about the gifts we buy. Let's talk about it.
In this video I mention two gifts I have for you just for being part of the New Retired Me community. They are totally free with no strings attached.
First, the image that hangs in my studio. I'm offering it as a free digital download for you to print anywhere you want in any size you want. You can find it here: ko-fi.com/s/d852c6810c
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Find me everywhere I am on the Internet here: timchilders.bio.link.
I started this channel in order to document life as it gets lived. It's about where I live, how I live, where I travel, why I travel, and so much more. Eclectic is a good word for the content to be found here. I hope you will come along for the ride!
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Tim, you're so on point with this! I'm honestly tired of the gift exchanges of clutter and wasteful spending. Tis the season to live simply.
I love watching your videos. I like it when you talk about your mom so lovingly and respectfully. It’s not seen much now a days. God bless her and you too. Thanks 🙏
I would love to see pre-owned gifts normalized. Especially toys. So much better for the planet not to mention your wallet.
A colleague and I are organising the office Christmas party this year and we decided there would not be any sort of gift exchange. No secret santa, no white elephant, none of us need more stuff and none of us has the mental bandwidth to come up with gift ideas. We're collecting for a food pantry instead. From my own childhood, I do remember big gifts I got, but mostly as things I really wanted that did no live up to my expectations. Now I have nephews and nieces and I want to be the cool aunt, but I also don't want to overwhelm them with stuff.
I've re-evaluated gift giving this year, as well. Over the years, Christmas has been me spending a ton of money and showering my kids & grandkids with gifts, and staying up late wrapping it all, just for that work to be undone. And, as you said, the kids' toys end up with missing pieces, broken, or tossed to the side. It's just more "stuff" we don't need that has become the clutter I'm trying to get rid of.
This year, I'm working fewer hours at my job and and investing what I make into a new small business, and helping my family during hard times. I told my adult kids not to expect gifts, that I will give them a small bit of cash (helps them, and helps me decrease my already limited time spent shopping). The grandkids will get a couple things, mostly what they said they wanted. They are ok with that, too.
It means less money spent, less stress & work for me, less time spent shopping & wrapping, and less "stuff" cluttering our lives.
The only thing I want more of, is more time spent with the people I love. Time is the most valuable asset we have, and something we can never get back.
Time is the greatest gift.
Tim, this is thought provoking ,sobering .I have to hold in my emotions when I am listening. Christmas to me is a paradox , it is always the same every year ,but then again , it is always different. I just turned 70 and a lot of water has gone under the bridge. My family is small. Both of our daughters live in other towns. We have one grandchild. I have a brother who lives about 50 miles north of me. our oldest daughter lost her husband in January of this year. She will coming down from South Carolina with our grandson for Christmas . My younger daughter who lives 250 north may not come down for Christmas. We don't make a deal about gifts these days. To me the gathering is more important, because life is so fragile and we don't who won't be at the Christmas table next year. My younger daughter always make her gifts, not because she can't afford to buy gifts but to ring in the truth that it is not the gift but the thought behind it . I went to your web page and did the E-mail and the downloads . I have not read your paper yet but your photographs are stunning. I enjoy photography as well and it is the one thing that doesn't put a big strain on my body these days.
I can relate. I just turned 70 too etc.
Feeling blessed that the TH-cam algorithm recommended your video ~ New subscriber. 54 year-old widow who lost my husband at age 41 and until only recently overcompensated at Christmas and on birthdays by buying way too much “stuff” for our only son. As my son has aged (he’s now 23), I have found that he has raised me as much as I have raised him. It was my son who suggested last year to cut back on his presents. Not because I don’t have the money (I do), not because he didn’t appreciate the presents (he did) - but because he was wise enough to understand my motivations and he told me that all the excess did was remind him of what we had lost - the exact opposite of what I had intended. Out of the mouths of babes, so to speak. This year his Christmas gift is a day in a nearby city to see a show and go to dinner ~ something he enjoys but would not spend his own money on. Thank you for the beautiful photograph - It has already been added to my digital picture frame. Merry Christmas season!
“With age comes wisdom.” Togetherness is what’s important during the holiday season …and always. Commercialism/consumerism will brainwash if we allow it.
💚💚💚
Enjoyed the video. My husband and I don't buy gifts for each other. We usually decide on something to buy for the house, and then we buy something we want for ourselves. We believe in experiences during the year as well. Our son and daughter in law, and Son and his 2 kids, who are ages 18 and 19, live in different states, so we send them all gift cards or cash, so they can buy what they need/want. Now that I am retired, I no longer have to worry about all of the coworkers, parties, etc. The holidays are very simple at our house.
I've been busy for several years caring for parents in their 90's. 2 years ago this month, my dad passed away. Now, Mom, 97, takes up much of my time. The one thing I have little of is time. Several years ago, I went to practical gifts and food. Gifts for each couple or single go into a large Christmas bag, and all those younger than us, in our late 70's, need $$$. So, with baked goods, gourmet finds from places like Home Goods, and small household objects make up our gift giving. Throw in a special Christmas dinner with us, done! Our pleasure is in seeing everyone for the holiday.
Baking is a hugely gracious gift!
I remember when I was approximately 7 years old (69 years ago) i got a coloring book and crayons. My father was laid off. I do remember disappointed because I discovered the bag. Of course since then all kinds of Christmas gifts, husband of 56 years many gifts of jewelry. I now buy “consumables”, gourmet candy from local candy shop, only limited other gifts / add to daughter in law’s snowman collection, teenage grandsons a set $$ after Christmas shopping trip. Feels great and I have been blessed in my adulthood.
Growing up we were poor and mostly Christmas was fine, but later was just plain sad. When I had my own kids I completely overcompensated and bought everything under the sun. Now the kids are grown and I've come to my senses. Christmas is a time when out of town friends and family come to visit, and the focus isn't so much on gifts. The things we do buy are things the gift receiver specifically wanted, and a lot of the time is a consumable. I don't want or need more stuff. If it's something I need then fine, but I have spent a lot of time decluttering my home and I don't want random stuff that takes up space.
I had one child. I knew the Christmas that I (and her Dad) gifted her with 13 or more presents that this had to stop. She was opening one after the other and it was ME who was getting the pride of "providing" for her.
A talk worth hearing as usual, Tim! I learned a few years back that there is nothing my daughter likes and can use more at Christmas than a couple hundred bucks in her checking account. So that's what I always get her.
SANTA DIDN'T WRAP ALL THE PRESENTS😅BECAUSE BOURBON 😂😂😂🎉🎉❤❤
We gradually did away with presents at Christmas among adults until we now give none except to the four children in our lives, two grandchildren, a great niece, and a great nephew. The latter two get cash. My grandchildren are 2700 miles away and we do not see them at Christmas. It is wonderful not to have the pressure before Christmas, financially and otherwise. (We still give gifts for birthdays.)
My parents never gave us anything other than necessities during the year. For toys and things we wanted we would have to wait for our birthday or Christmas when Santa would bring it. There were no decorations put up until about 2 weeks before Christmas and never a tree. My brother and I would have to go to bed very early on Christmas eve or Santa wouldn't come. In the morning it was magical. There would be a big lit Christmas tree in the living room and a mountain of wrapped gifts around it. The things that we had wished for all year would be there. There was always an orange in the stocking because that was a treat not available all year like now. With my own children we would put up a tree on Christmas eve, but Santa would bring all the gifts. To tell the truth there were always too many gifts, but like my parents we never gave our kids a lot of things during the year. For anything they really wanted we would provide for them ways to earn the money to purchase it. They grew up to be responsible adults who have provided well for their families.
Tim, I think you are such a gift, we need so badly many more ppl like you in this world.😊❤ God Bless You.
Amen !
Another great video!
Several years ago our family stopped buying any kind of gifts. Christmas, birthday etc.
Now we just go somewhere and rent a Airbnb and enjoy just being together.
Every one pitches in and it’s simply the best time ever!
Highly recommend ❤
It can be really difficult to get family on board with no gifts for Christmas, but when you do, it is such a relief. This year, instead of wasting money on useless stuff for relatives who are much better off than I am, I bought necessary household items for refugees who are coming to our area.
Good idea!!
I asked my son and family to donate to my local food bank or pet rescue. Both I love. They have followed through on this and they can donate as much or little as they are comfortable doing. I am 76 and need nothing else.
beautiful! you are so right!
I only give the three grandchildren because I feel Christmas is for the littles. Grownups don’t need any stuff. Thanks for your thoughts and retired educators, gave for many years at school and classroom, so that’s it on donating or gift giving. I usually give PayPal or gift cards, so that mommy and daddy help my grandchildren get actual things they need. Enjoy your thoughts
There's that love language bit too. I'm all about acts of service and gifts is dead last so I wanna run the other way from Christmas. 😂
It's nice to make it special for any children that may be involved but otherwise I wanna do/make consumables or money and call it a day. The tradition and social expectation element feels confining to me.
When I was growing up, we got mittens, a scarf, and hat. We got candy and a board game to share. Always had a big meal.
I do not buy gifts anymore except for a restaurant gift certificate for my brother for his favorite place to go.
When I did buy presents I wrapped them in newspaper that had Christmas pictures in themn.
I see so many people going into debt buying presents and making credit card payments until the next Christmas. Never made sense to me. I'm 70, debt free and plan to stay that way.
😊💚
We stopped most of the gift giving at Christmas between family over 30 years ago and truly is not missed. It was a major hassle and just filled with grief, pressure, wasted time and money. It should be just for kids, if at all. After about 10 years old, the non toy gifts are just not fun, so why do it?
Exactly. :)
I find that people tend to give gifts that they might like to receive instead of what that person they are giving to, would like. I think the key of pleasing the receiver is listening through the year and remembering what the people that we give to, say about the things they really like. People who are consistent givers of great gifts, who give what the receivers really want, have the ability to please others more than themselves. To be more selfless when giving proves to be the formula that produces the more satisfying gifts. That is why God knows how to give the best gifts to His children because He is the most unselfish Giver. I think the topics you chose to address, Tim, are very timely and well thought out. Thanks.
I’m 54, and at a point where I need to get rid of stuff. If I need something, I can easily order it.
Gifts, although appreciated, are annoying because they add to the clutter. At work I have requested “no gifts” for the holidays.
I have told my family not to buy gifts for us. At our age we don't want or need things. We have all we need.. A gift card would be useful. A pound of coffee. For our daughter we give something towards heating oil. Always a useful gift here in New England.
Hi Tim, I’m not sure if you will read this comment, but I had to try! I was remiss in thanking you for the beautiful gift of the picture of the man with the cross. It came during a time when life got quite challenging and I honestly, just didn’t get to it, although it remained in the back of my mind to do so. So, please accept my apologies and my heartfelt “thank you”. I love that picture and I have it displayed in my home office. You’re quite a gifted photographer and I appreciate many of your other pictures on your website as well. Also, I do enjoy your videos. All the best to you and yours! June
You are very welcome! I’m glad you are enjoying it!
Thank you for this video!! 😊 I used to go way overboard on Christmas gifts for my children. I guess I was trying to give a happy moment to try & erase so many sad & hurtful moments from a verbal abusive father. Long story short!! Now they are grown and we have all agreed to stop buying Christmas gifts. We all have way too much stuff!! This year I am doing a money jar with my grandsons. We will all contribute . Then in December we will all go shop together . We will use the saved $ to buy food for a family in need or a local food pantry.
What a memory to create! Just wow! 💚💚💚
Our family celebrates "Thanksmas" in the middle of December inbetween Thanksgiving and Christmas and all we do is a $25.00 White Elephant gift. The gift can even be a gift card, $25.00 cash, or something you no longer want or use for around that price. No stress, no traffic, and no debt. ❤
Thank you for your gift and your insight on Christmas giving. You are a prime example of what we say to ourselves as we age. Our years on this earth bring us so much wisdom and knowledge. I love that you share it with us.
Thank you Tim for your wise words. Over the years, the leanest holidays have been the best. We taught our kids that gifts are not what’s most important and did our best not to go overboard. There were times I would go a little too far with giving and have to remind myself, I don’t need to prove anything.
A few years ago, two of my adult children were visiting on Christmas Day and we decided on no gift giving. It was amazing just to have each other and totally disconnect from all the commercialism. It was the most special Christmas day we had. I decided to check the mail later that day and was given a $1000 check so I shared it with the two who were visiting. If that check never came, we would’ve been just as happy, but it was like a gift from God, who always is our greatest gift. ❤🙏❤️
Tim, you are such a lovely chap. I enjoy listening to you no matter what you are talking about.
I received a book from a dear friend that really was about her wanting me to feel the same way as she did about the author. I know that I have given gifts at Christmas and birthdays the same way. Now that I am older I am reevaluating gift giving. I am paying more attention during the year to what someone really cares for and likes. I also have talked to friends to say let's dial it back with gifts because we have so much already and don't need more. There is always a sense of relief from my friends.
I want to thank you for your two gifts, the beautiful photo and the pages from your book, but I also want to thank you for your thoughtful words, great advice, and your friendly and calm demeanor. I have been a subscriber from the beginning and I always look forward to your videos. I have been a generous gift giver in the past and I have toned it way down thanks to my 2 daughters letting me know several years ago that I was doing too much and getting them things I thought they wanted. Now, they tell me what they want and because they don’t want a lot of random stuff, it’s made gift giving so much easier and less stressful. I’ve also stopped buying wrapping paper (which was devastatingly hard!) and started using kraft paper and making fabric gift bags that are reusable, which adds creativity to the holiday. I can’t wait to read your book pages! Take care and looking forward to your next video! 😊
I just subscribed to your channel❤ I am a 73 year-old widow for Massachusetts. I live with my cairn terrier Otis. absolutely like what I see so far I have been on a decluttering journey also since I retired. Have a blessed day.
I have given the kids and grandsons cash for over 10 years for birthdays and Christmas.
Thank you for this because Christmas is about the Greatest Gift, and that is Jesus Christ. It's a day to celebrate His birthday.
If people knew who St. Nicholas was and what he did, our gift giving would be more thoughtful and less about making a good impression.
I'm 76 and growing up there was never enough money for toys, but we got a new pair of shoes and a sweater.
My mom made sugar cookies in star shapes for everyone. Now I make those same cookies for everyone.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
And God bless us everyone!
You’re spot on about gift giving. I’d rather have quality time with my family.
any day!
This past week, I’ve spoken to both my girls and we’ve agreed not to give gifts for Christmas this year. In the past we’ve done gifts, socks, cookie exchanges, etc. I’m 76, so I don’t need anything more to try to declutter as the years move forward. So we are doing memories, instead. We’ll go out for dinner, maybe take in a theatre production or event, something that involves the fun of being together. Your thoughts on gift giving were bang on!
Thought provoking! Thank you!
Growing up in a large family (5) kids …. my parents had limited income (only my dad had a paying job) so our gifts at Christmas was only one item and it was an inexpensive item. I always felt disappointed because my friends always seemed to get more. As an adult now (70) and children- less, i don’t have kids to buy for but do exchange with siblings and friends. I feel overwhelmed over the holidays- not my favorite time of year. Excellent video. Nice to hear how it was for you when you grew up (and now).
Nope, I quit giving my son and his family birthday and Christmas gifts for that reason. No contact, no gift
Merry Christmas Tim! You captured my thoughts this week before Christmas about gift giving. I lost my joy and dug deep to why. I am invited to my sister and family for Christmas Day. The family is growing and I become overwhelmed. They all buy for everyone and it is a big deal for them. I will participate however after revaluation about the true meaning behind it I bought family gifts to experience something together. My nephew and neices are young adults with young children and I expect when they reach their 60s they may look on this differently also. I live simply now myself. Your Christmas village story rang a huge truth in my Christmas ornaments I bought each child each year. I hand picked each year according to a special interest and paid way too much for most. I bought them thinking of the memories they would have and pass down for generations. All have been given to thrift stores or stayed in storage units during moves then in garage sales! They were only important to me! Getting together having a wonderful meal and doing acts of service throughout the year priceless to me. I enjoy your honest sit down with us talks....
I give to the animal shelter in my community for Xmas. Giving something beneficial to some living thing which can never say thank you makes me understand the meaning of Xmas.
Hi Tim, this video is necessary for this time of year but could be applied throughout the year. As a child, I recall being excited at the thought that Santa was coming. A list (which included only 1 item) from me, was never fulfilled. Yes, it was not feasible since I wanted a "pony". However, I did receive the essentials needed throughout the year. You know what I mean, however, there was a book about horses, or a small figurine, and one year a bronze figure of a horse complete with saddle, bridle, and reins which I still have today (just turned 80 this year). When I became a parent, if my sons needed anything throughout the year it was given to them, I never said no if within reason, but nothing extravagant. My thinking was to, extraordinary things not so much, but an abundance of love and respect for my gifts in their human form. Every kiss, hug, thank you was all I could give, and thoroughly enjoyed receiving from them. Today spending is extravagance to the max, which is unfortunately expected and people never give a thought to it maybe creating hardship. The moral is to think twice before you spend. Blessings, 🌲
At my work we are pressured into secret Santa and another gift for the owner and the price has shot up!!
Just finished reading some of your writing. You are very clear and concise. Was easy to breeze through…. you’re a good writer.
Thank you!
Thank you for this thought-provoking video. I’ve been challenging my family (adult sister and brother and their families) to figure out new gifting solutions, instead of everyone buying for a dozen other people. My nephew had the brilliant idea that each household would buy for one household, and the gift would involve an activity that builds the relationship with the other household. For instance, my husband and I are assigned the household of my nephews and their significant others (the “kids” all share an apartment), we are hosting them for dinner and game night, with the board game of their choice. So proud and grateful to my nephew for this idea!
Hi Tim. Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to reply to you using my initial comment. It took me much longer to read this than I initially thought. So much going on with Christmas preparation and plans. 🎄 I enjoyed reading your first chapter of your book. I love the concept and setting up the spiritual journey (where you started, where you plan to go, etc.) and the story of St. Francis (which I admit, I didn't know prior to reading this). I think (aside from grammatical and writing preferences, which is hard for me to not point out because at one point, I was a financial editor, so I'm used to using a red pen for editing such things 😋 ) the set up is great. More context and/or background would be helpful when you start the first chapter. Setting up the scene of your meal with your coworker. Again, that is just preference. Music is so very powerful and I agree, it is so much more powerful for the lyrics that accompany it. I like the idea of digging in deep into 4 places and letting them be the backdrop for all your thoughts, experiences, etc. I'm happy that you are going on the journey and look forward to hearing more!
Thankyou for your humbleness, your truth and feeling on this subject.
Like you I have had years when things were more plentiful than others, some not so good. And had to face the fact like what am I doing here, getting in debt for one day? And drained wondering what to get everyone. I was a single Mom of 3 , and now retired snd still trying to catch up .
So my adult kids and I pick names, we but 1 gift for the name we pick, and the grandkids all get a gift of course, I am the happiest if we just all have the xmas meal together in peace and calm , snd remember those that have gone. Christmas hasn’t been the same since my dear Mother passed away , she knew all those little magical finishing touches.
I could write a book about all this , but don’t want to turn it into a saga. It seems Xmas everyday for these kids now, hard to decide what to get them ….
Wish I could turn back the hands of time …. I always set a place at the table for my Mom and Dad…..
Have a wonderful day Tim … thanks for sharing.😊
Thank you for sharing, too!!
🤗😘💝
We stopped last year and hope to continue this way
I’m sorry I haven’t commented on your first chapter book gift. I downloaded it and can’t find it! So when I find where it is I’ll be happy to comment on it. I’m looking forward to reading the first pages. Thank you again.
Tim, when our family was young, we would start a "Christmas Club account" at our bank and put $20.00 in it every week. In October, we would get a check for $1000.00 and we would spend about half on Christmas and save the rest. There was no debt, no credit card interest, and the extra money was there for emergencies if needed. In today's world, it's easy to spend $20.00 a day on lunches, coffees, smoothies... Just a thought. Thanks for another great video!
Thank you so much for your beautiful and generous gifts. The photography is just stunning. It gives me goosebumps. I can't wait to print it. Your book is so interesting. I want to read it all! There are many people who can relate to your story, myself included. We are all searching. Please keep on with your writing. Your message and your heart will guide you. Blessings in this new year!
Thank you so much!
We play a game at Christmas with my husbands family (just the grownups) where we each buy a gift worth around $25. Place them in a pile in the center of the room and deal out playing cards and highest card goes first. Pick a gift, open it. Next highest card gets to either open another gift or steal one of the already opened gifts (only allowed to get each gift stolen a total of 2x). We continue till all the gifts are opened. You can trade too at the end if you both agree (happens often) or you keep whatever you’ve got. We have lots of fun and laughs and it really took the pressure off buying something for everyone and their spouse let alone the cost! You also have the option of not playing at all.
That sounds great!
We do something similar with our family. Takes a lot of stress away with only buying one gift with a $25 - $30 limit. We don't have any little ones in the family right now to watch open presents, but we still have so much fun. It's just wonderful being together.
@@michellehenning7983 So iPods are out? 😂😂😂😂
@@michellehenning7983 for sure! I remember having such a hard time with getting something for everyone. We still buy for our grown kids but this is great for all the in-laws and extended family 😊
I have 7 grands that live close by. In the past, I have given each of them at least 5 gifts. Totally overwhelming. This year, I am scaling back to two each. Next year, I plan on getting down to one. I plan on retiring in a few years and it's crazy to be putting this much stress and financial pressure on myself.
Thanks for sharing!!
Thanks for all your thoughts! 🎄😀
This is the year we finally ended gifts for our adult children and them for us. Our children are fortunate enough to be able to buy anything they need or want. We will give to our grandchildren. We also ended friends gifts except for a cookie exchange. I feel such relief. I'm trying my best to unload things I don't use. Adding more items to my home won't help me meet my goals. It's amazing how you realize how little you need as you age. Wish I had found that out sooner.
I am a published author. Long learning curve to perfecting my writing. Last week, I did 7 days of gratitude journaling. One thanks was that I was able to express myself in my writing. It is a great gift. I'm currently writing a fiction novel for my grandkids. Enjoyed your beginning pages. Hope to read more.
Thank you!
Thank you so much for the gift of the start of your book. I just read it and thoroughly enjoyed your style of writing. I will happily purchase your book when it is published and look forward to learning more about your journey, and Saint Francis. As a Christian, I know that Satan tries to shift our focus away from God, but we know that God is in control! I retired five months ago at age 69, after 50 years in healthcare and I really enjoy your content. Wishing you well from the west coast of Canada 🇨🇦
Okay, I have finally downloaded the beginning of your book, read it & am here to give my thoughts about it as you requested. First of all, I am definitely not a believer in the Christian god. I was raised a Catholic with similar results as you with your upbringing. I left the church as soon as I was grown. But, in terms of your writing, I found your story quite interesting, & as you tell it, it makes me want to read further, so I think that's good! As with your videos, I do appreciate your heartfelt sharing. You clearly did not hide away your feelings as a result of your Pentecostal indoctrination. We all share in having struggles along the way, particularly in today's disconcerting society. I think it's ALWAYS a benefit to connect by hearing each others stories, so I encourage you to continue. Best of luck with your project!
Thank you!
Very good video. Communication is the key. Both our daughters live far away, It's hard to know what they want and none of us need things. It's also hard to keep things even if one kid has way more money than the other. We agreed years ago to spend money instead on trying to get together. We also randomly buy or make gifts for each other just because...I saw this and thought of you,love does not need to be shown with money. Last year one daughter moved into a home with an old refrigerator and we bought her a new one as we knew she couldn't afford it at the time. My husband said won't the other daughter feel bad? Rather than take that chance I called her up and said would you feel badly if I bought your sister a refrigerator? She said no, go ahead, I would be happy for her. I said you know if you needed one I'd buy you one too and she said I know Mama.
❤❤💚
What you said today was so thoughtful and true. I know that this year I decided to cut back for a number of reasons. At my age I really shouldn't go into debt but I will give something or it won't feel like Christmas. I remember the Christmas my parents and I returned back to our home state after living in Florida for part of a year. My parents couldn't afford to stay there at the time. It actually was the worst time in my life . I was in my junior year in high school. I missed my friends and cried all the time. We stayed with my aunt and uncle and cousins over the holiday until we found an apartment. I received one gift from my aunt but it didn't matter. Being back home was the best part of Christmas.
My Xmases have changed over the last 10 years. I make stockings, tree ornaments, bowls of bulbs and chutney . Start in Sept/Oct so lots of time to start projects, look for ideas.We all have so much stuff! It’s nice to meet up for a drink or meal & talk! Also only decorate in December it’s much nicer to keep to that season. From 🇬🇧. You have a very soothing voice, want to break into Chattanooga chu chu song when you say it, small pleasures 😊
It's interesting you should bring up this subject. My husband and I are both in our late 60s and for the very first time, we asked our 2 grown kids not to buy us gifts and we are going to do the same for them. The pressure and the cost get greater every year trying to figure out what to get. We told them we would only be buying for the grandkids. We are also donating to the food bank. I had figured they would be upset but they were all for it and actually seemed relieved. This has taken so much stress off of me and has allowed me to just focus on the grandkids. I only bought them a couple toys each but am focusing on some clothes and shoes for them which I know my son will appreciate.
I’m so happy for you!!
Hah! I loved the "Thanks! (now what am I going to do with that???)" I wish my daughter-in-law would watch this and catch a clue. I live in an ENVELOPE and every year I have to lug home clothes, slippers, appliances, candy etc etc. For 3 years in a row she has given me an electric can opener. (one I offered to a friend and one I kept as a spare) Most everything, LITERALLY, will be given away to our Council on Aging here in FL. I have asked her year after year to reduce the mass but it falls on deaf ears. I have asked for gift cards but she says that's not a gift. They are a gift to me... I am old and can use the Publix or RaceTrac cards throughout the year to survive. Christmas is approaching quickly and here we go again.
3 years in a row??? What?? 🤦♂️
Yep! 3 years in a row. I'll let you know if I get another this year. @@TheNewRetiredMe
The photo is beautiful, thanks for sharing. We just visited the Basilica this October and certainly love your photo. I also downloaded the document and will read it first chance I get. Thanks and Merry Christmas! 🎶The best things in life are free … (remember that song?)
Tim, great thinking and advice! My husband and I debate Christmas gift giving every year! For years one of the things we have given our sons, who are grown adults now, are Hallmark Star Wars ornaments. A few years back, we stopped that one Christmas and the boys actually brought up how much they missed them and wanted us to resume getting them! Now I have a grand son in law and grandson and for the past few years, I have also been giving them the ornaments. ...they do not seem so thrilled!! Lol! So, since your video, I'm just going to have a heart to heart talk with both of them and see if they would like to have that present stop, instead of us guessing about it every year and holding our breath!! Thanks also for the gifts offered! So nice of you!
Thank you for another thought provoking video. Living with the loss from last year and have a parent that is in her 90s as well as young adult, children, I decided that this holiday season needs new traditions. I have been downsizing and purging and I don't want things. I want my adult children to have experiences and to be financially responsible. I was pleasantly surprised when I talked to everyone and they said I would love x or y as a gift and they were ok with getting me some small but practical items I can use. This year has been mentally painful as well as very rewarding in a personal growth and renewal. Sometimes I feel the best gift we can give is being present and giving our time and help and prayers. Thank you for putting life lessons in to this video. I hope you and yours have a truly wonderful holiday season.
Being present is a wonderful gift. ❤️
Thank you for the download and seasonal thoughts. Much appreciated. Look forward to reading about your adventures ❤🎉
My Christmas gifts have always been given because I want to make the other person happy and give them something they will enjoy. I always try to figure out what the person would like and not what I like to receive.
Dear Tim, there’s so much I can say here but I’m pretty emotional right now…
First, I can’t thank you enough for your generosity of heart, sharing your life with all of us. I truly appreciate this video, great content as usual with so much to consider.
What I really want to thank you for is your beautiful gifts! WOW! The photography is AMAZING as expected because this is who you are! My other personal favorite is the beginnings of your book!!! I LOVE the Saints so I am totally already in love with your book & your story!!! Absolutely LOVE St. Francis of Assisi (bears the wounds of Jesus Christ ❤) & St. Clare! I love to study the Saints & celebrate their feast days! St. Francis feast day is 4th of October. 😉
There’s so much to unpack here but I will just say, I can’t wait for your next chapters & how you tell the story & interweaving your own life struggles which connect us all. I love your honest, creative, beautiful writing style just like you do here on this channel with your genuine goodness & way you get to the heart of the matter. You are a man of many talents, Tim! Profound gratitude for sharing them with all of us. I will definitely listen to the songs you mentioned in your book. The words deeply touch my soul. May our Heavenly Father continue to bless you, your precious Mama & family & this community in every way. Dee 🙏🕊💥💕
Thank you!
I live alone and the last time i decorated was 2018. I love our gathering traditions but i really dont want anything more in my house. I tend to give consumables nowadays. Except my son...i always ASK him what he wants!
This is so true I think we feel like you said we overcompensate fir various reasons this year I’m trying to cut down and I’ve set a limit to a much lower amount to spend per person since now my husband is retired. We have chosen not to buy for each other and I am picking gifts that are meaningful to the person I’m buying for. My kids are older they have more money than me do what can I get right. Thanks for this video really wonderful ❤
TH-cam made the connection between you and the “NRM” on my end this past summer 😊 Thank you for the photo (I lived in Rome for almost 15 years) and especially for the first pages of your coming book. It moved me to tears; keep on writing.
Thank you! ❤️
I have accepted both downloads. Thank you.
It's a deep topic, your book. It touches deep places, old soul wounds, in me. My own wounds are largely healed. A few good books helped me on my journey.
The Shack
So You Don't Want to go to Church Anymore
He Loves Me He Loves Me Not
Emotional Healing by Praying Medic
I grew up in the same denomination as you. Same University. My father was a pastor as was my first husband who committed suicide. We are wounded people as are many Spiritual leaders. Perhaps our stories would all end tragically but for the Perfect love of our Perfect Father, the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and the unending friendship of Holy Spirit.
I look forward to purchasing your book. I promise to read it.
Group hug for all who need it! Let the healing come down upon us like gentle rain.
Hugs back to you. ❤️
What a wonderful sincere message and such a lovely, generous gift!😊
I just found your channel; I retired a few months ago. Love your videos and that you are in Chattanooga! My mom was from there. 😊
Welcome!!
Well spoken my friend! I will definitely be watching this video again. The holiday season is tough for so many people. Money is only one of the reasons people have a rough time. We have a budget and try to stick to it. Sometimes my husband and I discuss lowering the budget a bit.
Hi, Tim. I just finished watching your video, and I am so humbled by your gifts to us…I am going to download the photograph to use as a beautiful wallpaper on my devices, and I am anxious to read the beginnings of your writing…but I am especially grateful for the gift of your videos. I have never watched one without learning something, or seeing something beautiful, or being entertained in the best way. Thank you so much for that! 🙏😇💙
Meline
Thank you! ❤️
First of all… love your subject line “Rethinking Gift Giving”! Hubby and I were already on that thought 🥰Your heartfelt thoughts about Christmas past and present is so very touching… especially the daughter/dad conversation about the Christmas Village she no longer wants to receive. It’s so different now than it used to be😳. THankYou Tim🥰 Merry Christmas
I am really looking forward to reading your book. I enjoy your photos and videos. They are thoughtful, interesting and often fun. We are close to the same age, so I am tempted to say it is our common generation leads to the mirror like feelings. However, your videos resonate with so many people of all ages so you have struck a chord with those who find your TH-cam channel. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Powerful message. We really need to examine our motives for gift giving. I stopped buying gifts for everyone in my circle years ago (except for my grandkids). It’s such a stress-reliever.
As usual, totally amazing! As you speak, so many thoughts and memories get triggered. ❤
How very generous of you! Just downloaded your beautiful photo and book sample. Thank you for the Christmas gifts!
We have a great grandchild who is 5 years old and lives in CA while we live in OK. I was speaking with my daughter who lives minutes away from her so I was asking what our little one was wanting for Christmas this year. She laughed at my question and told me the story of our grandchildren taking her to see Santa and when he asked her what she wanted for Christmas she replied that she didn’t want anything and had everything. Her parents laughed as we did too when we heard that. After I got off the phone I had to think how honest our little Ivy was this year. She probably didn’t want anything for the moment and I was glad she just wasn’t coming up with something, anything. I am sure she will get some little item as it’s easy to buy for a five year old without spending too much. ❤
Tim, I really enjoy your posting and the content that you provide for us. Thank you also for the photo and the work on your book. Keep up the good work. Bill
Thanks, Tim. Looking forward to reading your book. Sending love this holiday season!
Thoughtfully said!
Thank you for such a kind offer of a gift to us all in the true spirit of Christmas, that felt really heartening & generous. Look forwarding to reading your chapter. Keep writing! M👍👏
With this episode you talk about a subject that I dearly want to discuss with my daughter. She is kind of obsessed with Christmas. The reason I haven’t had this discussion is because I realize how much joy it brings her and I then think “who am I to be the “Grinch Who Stole Christmas” I appreciated your take on the issue very much. I’ve downloaded your 15 pages and will let you know what I think. I do some writing myself and I know it can be difficult to get feedback BEFORE you post or publish.
Beautiful story! I want to read the next chapter......
Another great video, Tim. This Christmas will be different for me, as I was diagnosed last month with breast cancer. Thankfully, it was caught very early, but I still have some treatment to go through. This means that Christmas will be different and I won’t be able to do all the things I like to do for others. It’s hard to let others pick up the slack when I’m used to doing so much. But I have come to the conclusion that is OK. It’s OK to have more of an essentialist Christmas. And to remember it’s all about Jesus anyway!
I’ll be praying for you. I’m so glad it was found early. ❤️
May the Lord put a hedge of protection around you, and keep you safe as you go through this trial. May he also give wisdom to everybody involved in your treatment.
The only gift I ever give is fruit. I go to the 2nd hand shops and buy a large pretty bowl, usually for $2 and fill it with fruit and a card, usually from the 2nd hand shop too. I don't think you can go too far wrong with fruit.
I read the first pages of your book and I'm looking forward to reading the whole thing. I believe it will touch and heal many hearts. Thank you!
Wonderful! Thank you!
the gifts were from the heart…thank you
Wow! Spot on information!
Can use these thoughts not only at Christmas time, but throughout the year. Thank-You for the beautiful photo.