Robert Greene explains Why PEOPLE take advantage of YOU.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 พ.ค. 2024
- Robert Greene explains why people take advantage of others and how you should get ready for that. He explain how people don‘t always follow the rules to get what they want.
Winning, competition, strategies, planning, manipulation.
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As a young girl raised in the Catholic church, I was taught that as long as I looked after the needs of others, someone would always look out for me. What a setup for abuse. Took me years to retrain myself- & I was never truly over it. Always too trusting, even now.
My mom picked up control freak Nun habits ( no pun intended).
My mom taught me to be a people-pleaser & a good girl. She never taught me to stand up for myself & draw boundaries with people. I had to teach myself to toughen up & to not be a pushover. It's okay if some people don't like you & it's okay to say no to something you don't want to do. In the boxing ring of life, being ready fo meet conflict or opposition is something that will make you stronger. I had to learn the hard way that most people won't have your best interests at heart, especially in the workplace, so learn to swim or you will drown.
Me too 😂. Raised in a Catholic school with similar values.
They may be great and idealistic values but it's all BS (in huge caps!!!) when applied to the real world.
Being a Christian and all the things I learned in school set me up for massive abuse.
Like be kind but don't be foolish.
Look out for yourself first because that's what everybody else is doing (including christians lmao). Like being kind and self sacrificing should not set you up for abuse and often it leads to suffering which isn't even for the greater good but meaningless suffering!
Same.
You spitting the gods honest truth! People want you to look out for others, in hopes someone else will look out for you
I usually intentionally let people take advantage of me a few times just to see who they are. It saves my time to know who they are. They reveal themselves quickly.
Pssy. You think the world owes you peace.
Excellent test that 99% Fail
@@lovewhitey4462 100
Yes, but we must find out a different way to tell without jeopardizing ourself
Yes, I often do a "trust test" and share something that seems personal but that I don't really care who knows about it, then see what they do with it.
I've learned, especially in the workplace - being a "no" man affords more perks than being a yes man. Coworkers will typically have a working knowledge of people that they can manipulate and people that they cannot manipulate. Telling people no a few times will move you into the "difficult to manipulate" category.
Bang on. This has worked for me recently
Late answer, but I've noticed that many people who complain or refuse to tow the management line seem to get their way in the end, rather than keeping your head down and getting on with it actually gets you nowhere. People who get themselves noticed even in when saying No enough get rewarded.
I was already covering 2 regions after being in the role when I was only supposed to have one. This was at 6 months. Month 11 rolls around and someone else quits and they say it’s my turn to take it. Back in the day I would’ve taken it on out of fear for being judged or I would’ve bucked and said hell no in the most professional way I could muster in my immature mind.
Instead this time around I said, “As much as I would love to help I’m already covering 2 regions.”
Mgmt: “Ohhh idk what we’re going to do!” 2 days later they figured it out! It was assigned to someone else and 1/2 of the 2nd region I was never supposed to have was assigned to someone else. Now we have no issues and my workload is light as a feather. If more money was involved I might have taken it but I’m salary and I knew they wouldn’t budge at least not this time of year. Stand up for yourself but be strategic about it.
Excuse me lang ha,WA ko gahari Harian Dre!ngano dli PWD mangutana o mohangyo? I really got u, iro jud Inyo pagtrato
Saying no means respect. Saying yes means being taken for granted.
This should be taught to children. We are teaching children how the world should be not how it actually is, setting them up for failure and naievity
🎯🎯🎯
Explain a bit more pls i agree but what do you mean by this exactly
Kids need to be taught ideals and values to strive for, not just the bleak realities of society.
Great point! 💯
Mothers do this to create weak sons out of men.
Fuck being friendly and nice people see you as an easy and weak target. Someone they can easily manipulate and take advantage of for their own personal gain. To use you for their own benefit.
If your parents don’t or can’t teach you skills like this you’re screwed. In most group situations somebody is going to be gunning for you. Work itself is exhausting. To have to figure everybody out is near impossible. If someone is particularly malignant I simply leave. It will never stop. I work for myself now.
Be vigilant as a lion and harmless as a Dove. This means be aware of deceitful people who try to persuade, charm, and trick and lie. Observe more than speak and you'll find out about the souls true intentions
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is basically why am here, to learn to be both lion and dove
"Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves." Matthew 10:16 ESV
I've noticed some time ago that emotionally predatory people are not embarrassed to push the envelope their way and potentially find themselves in an awkward situation if it doesn't work out. Whereas nice people are always embarrassed. Embarrassed to say "no", embarrassed to put (those very emotional predators) into an awkward position, embarrassed out of empathy for the other person, out of all of the above... In other words I think it is the responsibility of the nice people themselves to not be so embarrassed about putting others in their place sometime
It's the good people who do nothing that allow these bastards to have the audacity they do. However when you stand up to these psychopaths it puts a target on your back. A target they will relentlessly pursue for your destruction. If you are naturally a peaceful person, you'll be drained in round 1 and they're just getting warmed up. It's truly spiritual warfare.
@@dcg31free It doesn't always have to be an epic battle. The whole thing will not even start if one has strong boundaries. They pick their targets meticulously.
🙌🏽🙌🏽 I needed that
@@dcg31free what defines “good” or you need is a little heart which comes from a real honest place and confront the situation END OF, THATS IT. The games people play stop there and then, TRUST ME.
Nailed it. One thing I have been trying is to just stop, breathe, smile and move on - most of the time they ( these sad people) just want you to engage to feed on your energy.
Important points made by Robert Greene:
1. People are like rocks, you will clash with people every once in a while. Keep calm and be resolute
2. Always be prepared for the worst, without expecting it.
3. Never use the same strategy twice. People are individuals, different in their personality and intent. Learn them individually.
4. Not everyone will play fair. There are some people who don't play by the same rules, they break them.
# People are strange and fascinating. Try to delve within them and get who they truly are as individuals
or just still let others to take advantage of us ........ hence doing own disadvantage
Technically schopenhauer said number 1. Greene just quotes him.
What does it mean strategy twice?
@@Stress_._Free A strategy that you have used in the past, might not work in the present moment and future. Everything changes so rapidly and thus, you have to adapt constantly to succeed in the environment.
Like Heraclitus said: "The only thing that is constant is change".
Gamay respeto lang, lessons learned! Pareha man ta bktima aning web scam, d PWD ilusyon lang ang tanan nga way mohatag clarity! Nganong naay bastos Dre nga defensive? Knsa ni akng kastorya, ang yawa ba gihapon nga mag asawa?! Feels like Mao Raman gihapong stratehya
I don't allow people to take advantage of me. That's actually the reason why they get frustrated.
Haha same😆
I feel you sista
always happens to me. for some reason 90% of people I meet either want to take advantage of me, or belittle me. I don't let them do either, they get angry, I have no friends.
I hear ya sis❤
TRUTH!
⭐️⭐️⭐️
'Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves. Be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves.'
Matthew 10:16
Most manipulative book of all time written by absolute succubus men
@@sacrilegeisrealworship409 This guy, the bible exposes human nature, we judge on appearance and wicked to our core, none of us are good, not one. But we do good deeds from time to time.
@@myballsitchsomethingfierce6319 We do what’s beneficial but not necessarily righteous.
@@sacrilegeisrealworship409 Historically that’s doesn’t make any sense. A bunch of men did not sit down and conspire to write the Bible in one sitting. The Bible was written over time by multiple authors in various times and places according to the revelation they received from God and their real-life events, not according to how they though the Bible should be continued. I find comments like this a little funny because if you’re so against the Bible, you really should be arguing that the individual books have nothing to do with each other and are just random pieces of literature thrown together rather than inadvertently affirming that all 66 books belong together by labeling them one big conspiracy.
Devil's Advocate was a great movie
Accepting that most people lie with impunity but you don’t have to join in is a short cut to mental well-being.
We all lie
CHOOSE your battles; not everyone wants to wrestle.
LEARN logical discernment; ignore what they look/sound like & watch what they do/how they behave.
REMEMBER the Serenity Prayer: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can & WISDOM to know the difference.
much love
Awesome thx
I wish I had lived by this before. I have been naive, believing people are good and I have paid dearly for it. Always view people as a lethal enemy until they prove you wrong. Don’t get involved with anyone to a point where you have to give up something.
Facts 💥✍🏻
You haven’t lost anything. You either win or… learn😊
One technique I've learned is calling people out in private. For example, one friend kept saying I was so pushy and when it was just the two of us at the end of the night, I simply asked "why do keep saying I'm pushy?" She then admitted the reason - she wanted to be ask bold as I. Jealousy is often the root.
I disagree. I knew a pushy girl and she was just rude. I was never jealous of her. She was obnoxious and I told her In private. So don't dismiss it as jealousy because someone is telling you something that isn't praise. She needed to hear that and other's didn't like it either. She always had drama. Sometimes it's good to be open minded and listen and improve. Pushiness can be unbearable to deal with and the problem can just be that. I know many other examples of this so I stand my ground.
@@SR77736 Nobody else says I'm pushy, so I'm pretty sure in this case it was jealousy.
Ah. You nailed it. In a group of 3 or more, one will sense your "civility" and know they can put you down with insulting digs. You meet them on a one to one, they act like the family dog that knows it did a bad thing by sh-ting on the carpet. Weird, man. It's the coward's way of releasing their social anxiety with thoughtless declarations and insults.
@@SR77736 You are kinda pushing your own view now, and disagreeing with her based on your own anecdotes. Like the two stories would be or is the same ?? Try to be openminded yourself like you tell others to be.
I think it’s more your egocentricity. People want to imagine themselves like everyone around them is jealous of their success, when in reality it’s rarely the case. It may be a tough thing to admit, but nevertheless very important to move forward in life and stop worrying about what others think of you. Have a nice day
Well I was a kitten, then a cat and always had been. EVERYBODY took advantage on me then gaslighted me. I couldn't take it any longer, there's no choice but to be a lion. The processes were not easy, stages of depression, overwhelmed and constantly facing my own fear. But now, I would swallow anyone who tried to cross my boundary. They can call me evil, crazy and whatever, I know there's nothing wrong to defend myself and my worth, though sometimes my trauma got me acted a bit too far, but better learn from mistakes than not to try at all. From a person who's "why do people always take advantage on me" to a person who's "now try to take advantage on me".
I was once could never say no, even to things I unwillingly said yes to for the guilt conscious and feeling conditioned towards everyone's wishes, but now I would say no even to things that I could actually say yes to, for the sake of showing people my limits and who I am.
we are not helping ourselves first and letting others to take our advantage all the time ....
A modern day Macchiavelli. To fight monsters you have to become a monster yourself, but one that you can control. When he says that corrupt corporations or political forces don't have the kinds of self-imposed limitations of so-called "good guys", it helps me to realize that Gandhi and MLK were not just idealistic philosophers, but also hard-nosed, shrewd operators. If you succeed, you'll become massively powerful, and how not to let that corrupt you.
Man this is such an eye opener! But at the same time it feels disturbing as hell.
Osho called Ghandi one of the greatest politician that has ever lived.
Don't think much instead do it, translate to action and all will solve.
Gandhi was a stooge of the British Empire. That's why he is glorified in whole of the west but you ask the common man of India, and they'll tell you things about Gandhi you don't want to hear. He created more rivalries between hindus and Muslims while playing the card of Non- Violence
@@adhrit1426 it's true that he was pro-western ideals but in no way was a stooge. His own values (Gandhian 'values') were based on some redundant Indian philosophy. But still he's a way better Indian than the glorified bootlickers like Savarkar / Golwalker and elitist Brahmin gang who thought they could keep the higher social class by pleasing the Beef - eating British.
I honestly believe how a person treats you is the same way they treat them. Play these people at three own game.
Robert just nailed it. This has been exactly my problem. I am always angry, bitter and resentful as to why people behave a certain way. I always thought my way of thinking is the correct way and get pissed off when someone isn't like that. As a result, I go into deep depressions feeling worthless, having twisted fantasies about taking revenge which has to do with the fact I am suppressing my shadow. After watching this video, it made me realise that all this time, I was the problem all along. I didn't want to accept the world as it is, I wanted the world to be in my image.
But then the question that I have is, how do I deal with people. Now that I know that I have been the problem I still can't figure out how to manoeuvre through this box ring without feeling paranoid. I have been avoiding to fight and to accept people for such a long time, that I have literally forgotten how to fight back. It feels so alien to me.
Anyone has any advice on that?
Bro we are kindren spirits but are dark, evil twins. I'm like that too. You just described me.
@@___Anakin.Skywalker What can we do about it?
@@kasratabrizi2839 become outcome independent. Create options on top of options for any scenario especially the most vital. U hate those ppl bc u need them to be like you. You are probably a very smart person who has high or at least decent expectations of others. It is soul crushing when u realize they can’t even meet your minimum expectations. This can be very very upsetting. It’s upsetting bc u think u need them. U don’t. Self improve, enjoy ppl for what they are but understand what they can never be to or for you.
@@jasperanusiem1743 thank you brother , this is the best quote i have seen ❤
Everyone has fear and insecurities, no matter how confident or tough someone may appear to be. Like Eminem sang in Hailey's Song, "I act like shit don't phase me, inside shit drives me crazy, my insecurities could eat me alive".
But when it comes to dealing with people, the TWO most important things to do is this:
1). Improve your appearance to gain confidence and the desired effect on people. A nice haircut, fitted T shirt, polo, or button down, slim dark wash jeans or chinos, and a white sneakers like stan smiths or chuckka boots like Clark's Finally, a SMILE, because people will be intimated by your new and improved appearance.
And 2). Pay attention. Just pay attention to the people you're dealing with. Many times, a person you're dealing with is clearly displaying social signs and cues, like attraction or deceit, but your mind is occupied by something else, like your phone or perhaps their shining jewelries, or maybe you just feel uncomfortable about the interaction. The most important thing is to stay present in the moment and try not to miss any important social cues and signs, but at the same time, act natural and don't stare hard like a weirdo. Just stay present in the social interaction. By paying attention and staying present, this gives you insight into the other person's mind, their feelings about you and their motives. Even if you cannot figure out the other person's intention at that moment, as long as you are paying attention, your mind will record the interaction and try to solve it for a later time, like in your sleep, or when you get the eureka moment when you're taking that nice and relaxing hot shower
He's saying you need to be versatile, and stay in the moment to be able to defeat different types of enemies. You need to know what it is you're battling against to defeat it.
But the issue with his book is that you don't defeat these individuals.
@@kellyw8017 Everyone has a weak spot.
@@marcuslong9761 If another person demands that you hide you skills to keep your job, that's not called winning.
@@kellyw8017 Depends on who that person is.
@@marcuslong9761 Not sure who you're referring to as "that person."
About "getting down and dirty" with your enemy: Sun Tzu says "Go where your enemy is not." This is very important otherwise your enemy could very well destroy you.Also you must remember that your enemy is not always a person.Your enemy could be something else like an idea or a disease.
Generational curses 🤬 also 💥💥
Genetic disorder too 😢
Here's a straightforward answer, they do it because they're insecure.
I think if you stay strong and righteous in your life you can overcome the evil in the world.
Don't stoop to their level. Set an example for others by your strength of character. We need more men like that in the world.
people still need to face consequences
Everyone is definitely NOT onboard with what is right or just. There will always be opposition and we should expect that as so wonderfully conveyed by Mr. Greene and the Interviewer.
We know that not everyone is onboard. We know that very well. Weak people who easily fall into darkness are very prevalent.
I’ve been saying and telling people this for years…. “ Life is not fair.” I was raised believing it was. If I had kids one of the very first things I would teach them is that bring good and honest or hardworking will not necessarily be rewarded. In fact , there will be plenty of people who will attempt to or actually take full advantage of this. I experienced this at work and college both.
We have to put up with so much than we used to. People were easier to deal with than they are now. Your composure or how you dealt with situations would suffice 5/6 out of 10 people. You didn't feel like you were trying that hard. These days, you'll have to put up with almost everyone with varying levels of composure or whatever approach allows you to cope. It's so draining. It's like some people are actually out to get you no matter how hard you try to be your best self. You could be smart around these kind of people and navigate competently but it takes the joy wind out of your goodwill sails knowing you can't let your guard down and reasonably so. Quite a dilemma.
So true bro..Sad but true
It takes TIME to get to KNOW an individual & even then… 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
so true
Facts, it’s so hard and draining
You need the resources to leave that environment and still be able to survive
You also have a choice to simply not deal with people who “hit below the belt”. Just move on, in a respectful way. Stay Focused!
These kind of people treat have a very low self esteem, self respect. So they treat others with disrespect. Causing unnecessary pain in others is working for them. Cause now others are also in pain , like them. They will never do the work. So they sabotage you. U have to become like them. Jealousy
One of the laws in the book. W i n through your action never through an argument.
So many people took advantage of me because I was niave. From family members to the man I married. It was because I was people pleaser and I never knew the word no.
I missed the part where he explained WHY people take advantage.
EDIT: also, if life were a sport it would be a lot more like soccer or football. There is a group of people moving towards one net, and there is another group trying to steal the ball and put it in a different net. And before you can try to get yours in, there are people blocking you.
It's amazing how much easier life is when you cooperate and collaborate. I tell people that your goal is to make everyone's life around you easier. Then I explain that I aim to do that by achieving a certain standard, and the steps I need to take to get there.
Not everyone will help, but most people will not stop you from trying to make life easier for everyone.
Brilliant
Agreed. I don't think the author was ever much of a team player (I remember him saying he worked in 80 different jobs). Most things in this world require people working together.
Well, I guess he's an expert on his own life.
Discernment is absolutely necessary in our dealings with people it’s folly to think otherwise.
As an empath I'm learning I'm just an observer of life. I am not my circumstances I'm a spiritual being. I'm here for a purpose. Yes, my job is part of my maturity journey on how to respond to their unjust.
I get tired of strangers trying to get an emotional reaction out of me, especially anger. Like get a grip. I personally think they watch too much reality tv.
I think ppl play dirty/take advantage bc deep down they know they can't cut it
It’s crazy how at work people “under” you, who actually work FOR you, can make your situation so goddamn aggravating.
people take advantage because we allow it, simple as that.
Right on point 💯 I literally said it in my head before even clicking on the video
like can you give examples ?
Saying people take advantage because we allow it is called victim blaming. Your blaming the victim rather than the jerk taking advantage.
Bullshit
I've always said that my excess of trust in people is mostly lazyness... It's easier to trust (when you are a strong person who can defend themselves in case anything goes wrong) than to distrust. But it's better to avoid anything going wrong...
I am glad these two gentlepeeps are in conversation - I resonate with them independently but together, thank you. Prepare children for the real world, not fantasy land. Teach resilience and endurance, patience and how to deal with conflict. Society is a jungle in reality
The human race especially in the western world is slowly dying out, basically in these so called rich countries nobody are having babies, and the scientist know this
as a German Biologist and Pythagorean - it is MY conditioned hyper tolerance and accepting all sorts of BS - that allows the Predator to Tres Pass into my zone of Intimacy. It takes intense Inner Strength training to build a Firewall and to keep those Impostors OUT. And I train Marathon to run away ...my friends are Runners...
Well said! This is why Boundaries are essential!
Figuring out the BS is the first step to becoming healthier. Keep going. Some people divorce their parents once they understand that grief can be minimized, significantly, by distancing themselves. We do what is best for ourselves, instead of becoming carbon copies of parents.
@@kirstinstrand6292 - as a German Biologist - it is much worse... we ARE 100 % of our parents, the genealogy of our Ancestors - and the conditionings of our enviorenment. It is sheer LUCK to find a way to escape this genetic mental emotional Prison. In essence - this is the concept of Evo Lution - to start a new Species - by not interfering with the others anymore. This demands all the POWWER we can assemble - to become Self Reliant, endure PAIN... ..a way beyond ... Robert Greene did this - as a model - cost him his health...
I was called ruthless by someone I respected.....the best complement of my life💚
I was told by someone that I respect that they are proud of me. I have had loads of complaints, yet that one was the best
People merely take the path of least resistance along the dimension that they are attending to. That is why people often are doing things 'the hard way' or incorrectly or against their own best interest. E.g. It's easy psychologically but difficult physically to walk to a destination instead of figuring out the bus schedule. A person with untreated ADHD is usually doing things in the least effective way possible with the most resistance. And people think they are lazy! No way. They're working harder than nearly everyone else while achieving fewer results.
This is interesting and it reminds me of my hardworking self and making the least amount compared to others who do less 🤔I don't have adhd 😁I'm afraid of failure and rejection 😔
Bravo👏
Interesting take, keen to hear more. Especially on the ADHD?
@@fordskool Check out the TH-cam channel HowToADHD. She reviews these kinds of topics rather well.
Perhaps, in being a black woman, I’ve recognized that virtually no one is on my side. I know that, even the people who are seemingly proud of me, they’re waiting for me to trip and fall into stereotypes they’re most comfortable with. I’m also pretty sure that, to some, even based upon my Aries zodiac sign, that I may appear prepared more for war, than peace. But, that’s usually in my effort to escape some of the situations I’ve been in. I actually guard my peace heavily and, for many, that violates their rather staunch comfort with stereotypes and that alone can be a war. I end up very isolated. But, it’s great that I’m an introvert. Thus quite comfortable in my own company.
Some of the most benign “appearing” battles and wars I’ve been in, are with entitled, narcissistic people, some of whom do absolutely nothing for themselves. The idea that I could be busy with my own life, means I’m an horrific, insensitive person or at least what they’re trying to project onto me. I have realized that, in dealing with them, I’d wind up in anything from being absolutely derailed from what I’m trying to do, to dead. But, I’m in the wrong. So be it, if they cannot see themselves.
SAME. Appreciate this insight!
"Some of the most benign “appearing” battles and wars I’ve been in, are with entitled, narcissistic people, some of whom do absolutely nothing for themselves. The idea that I could be busy with my own life, means I’m an horrific, insensitive person or at least what they’re trying to project onto me."
--LOL! Especially from Black people (I live in Canada) who accuse you of being white on the inside because you want to live with purpose and dignity.
@@vittoriacolona this woman is married to a black Inmate. However, through some conversations with her, before I ended them, I was not under the impression there was much understanding and empathy, when it came to the experience of people of color. Add to it that the look on her face, when I told her no [that I’m not interested in being her caregiver], made her eyes pop. While I’ll never know for certain, for her, the idea that I could say no to what she’d already “decided”, as if asking me was mere courtesy of what she’d already decided I would be doing, was an absolute shock to her system. Shortly thereafter, it was clear that she was angered and insulted by it and considered me to possibly be a lazy handmaid, oddly entitled to my own life, not understanding I I didn’t live in her attic, but instead of as a separate, paying tenant above her.
I don’t have an issue, with a neighbor asking me for help. I also understand the disappointment of being told no. What I will not acknowledge, nor tolerate, are subsequent attempts to reign me in, with the lack of understanding that they’re not asking to borrow a cup of sugar. What they’re actually asking for, is the remainder of my life. She has no idea how good it has been for her, that I said no…
Many don’t want to acknowledge that you have a life of YOUR OWN!
@@hissyfitz7890 that is why they are taught to respect my boundaries and they do not have to like it…
I also know that, when some people see a single woman with no children, who has the luxury of taking her cat for a walk, they start to have ideas in their head. First, it’s that I’m lonely. So lonely that I’m desperate enough for their company, to start working for them, for their convenience. That may be projection as, they’re most likely way more lonely than I. I am quite comfortable in my own company and, as a creative, I wouldn’t run out of things to do, even if I didn’t work for a living.
But, second is, of course, simply that they can start assigning tasks. As if they’re automatically above me, rather than lateral to me. She is also only 6 years older. That they will decide what is important and I need to comply. That a single woman with no kids, despite the fact that she supports herself, needs tasks assigned to her, especially as she’d “feel more comfortable” with domestic tasks, rather than living the “fantasy” that she’s a career woman. Complete the picture with being assigned tasks by someone who exists only to eat and watch TV 24/7. Yep. I just assumed she was bat sh*t crazy.
I love this guy..
This should b taught in grade school..
People don't get upset bc the world is a boxing ring..
Its bc nobody tells them n people deny it so they are not prepared..
Teaching like this at a early age would make life easier to deal with and keep a good mindset..
I luv Robert greene
Thank you so much for this. We are raised to see the world as a fair and good place. It makes my blood boil to realise I was raised the wrong way due to ignorance and its also very difficult to start approaching life from this new lens and view of the world.
Telling people about the real world is one thing. But he goes overboard, encouraging people to be like or act subservient to the nasty, low-end people they despise.
@@kellyw8017 needs to be done for one's own survival.
@@kellyw8017 true...he works AROUND people because it's the generic thing to do to survive one's job, or whatever. Life is SO complex; these skilled Experts are only sharing what has worked for themselves. Everyone is at a different level emotionally; generic answers are helpful to those who are functioning at an OK level.
Others will desire deeper solutions. We all should figure out our current levels, and proceed from there.
Exactly why I don’t talk to my parents that much. They could have warned me about so many pitfalls but instead always deferred with the bull**** phrase “you’ll understand when you’re older”
People are rocks are the best description ever... Never get angry on the rock u kicked 💯💯💯
We’re conditioned and rewarded to be agreeable since a toddler and it gets worse when your innate personality is on the agreeable side (big five model). Learning to be less agreeable can be paramount and especially for young men who are trained to please. Robert’s innate traits seems to be low on politeness because he’s rebellious so he’s a very good advocate for that.
Robert Greene is a true Gift for the World 😊
they always come from behind...just had a girl bullying me constantly speaking in an undermining tone...it is upsetting having someone constantly looking for a fight.. I tried to distance myself but she would find something because she was supposed to train to give me answers..which she reluctantly gave... this is the first time it happened in 40 years.. it made me uncomfortable...Didn't know what to do,, my therapist told me to confront her and not let her gain power over me
Confronting such people is exactly what they need. But they hope you play dirty or act angry or hostile when you respond so that they can run off and tell someone else. If you don't respond that way, they'll lie that you did anyway. This is why you should "accidently" use a recording app on your cell phone that will go for as long as your cell phone's memory allows. Try to catch a few of these before you take it to HR - or an attorney. If she has damaged your career in any way, you can directly sue her for slander or libel. And you'll have the evidence, which your attorney should try to allow by claiming that she has been shown to lie, so there was no option but to capture evidence of the lies.
I am in a slightly similar situation. The person is intimidated by my competence and so tries to overstep her boundaries in areas she is embarassingly unfamiliar with; she is in a higher ranking role than I and is increasingly becoming more brazen in her tone with me. (Background: I was originally offered her role and declined it for work/ life balance reasons.) It's so obvious at times that she is trying to provoke me into an argument . Currently devising the best approach to this. Good luck to you though!
@@SolarTTauri Use an app on your cell phone to record her. Don't muffle it under clothes. Keep it in a pocket where it can clearly capture voices. HR almost never helps, but you need to go to them to later show the judge that you followed procedure. Then if her targeting harms your career, sue her directly. You will have the evidence. Keep copious notes and all your work products. But likely, the company will make a claim that there were "communication problems." This is where your recordings may help you. But it's very wise to go to an attorney specialized in defending employees to give you advice about what evidence you need to collect while you're still employed with that company. If you sue the jerk directly, your company may even relax that they aren't being sued and if not help you out, not stand in your way by lying. You might even consider talking to the EEOC. They will also advise on the evidence you will need. I knew someone who was very successful by doing so and then filing suit. In her case, she went after the company for not protecting her. They finally acted, and she continued working there.
@@SolarTTauri She has two options get the humility to understand that you are you and she is she. Or do something to improve her life. But she's too lazy/insecure to do so. The problem with such people is that she might not have the maturity or self awareness to improve or change. and it is not your job to fix toxic people. I had such a person in my life and stopped talking to them when they do wrong, because they don't listen or take offense. I just mentally cut them off and keep the relationship surface.
Try the gray rock method, I find it very helpful. Most bullies are Narcissists.
"Be lazy and assume everyone is one our side"
I say it's all a jungle - all kinds of predators and animals. Lions don't eat lambs because they hate them.
It's important to put some healthy distance and boundaries from people in general. It's really good that I learned to be self aware and be observant of my surroundings at the same time. I'm able to speak and take action with the most adequate/reasonable, which is the most important because I only have control over myself and not others.
Sometimes the problem is that you can’t tell in black and white if you are being taken advantage of or it’s something up with you though. I have wasted more time frustrated trying to figure •this• out than in anger🤔
I dont want to persuade anyone... I just wanna live in peace.. but I know deep down that is just my side..I live in a world where ppl want to persuade me.. so I have to be able to see their tactics. 😅😅
Not that anyone particular asked or cares my opinion, but for some reason I’m going to say it …. Maybe for myself…. Who knows…
But I’ve accepted long ago that i can’t change others… im not perfect at all as a person but I can honestly say that I’m not manipulative, I wouldn’t ever willingly hurt people and was so gullible when I was younger that it’s embarrassing… I guess I made the mistake of projecting that the world thought like me. Over the years, I realised that it’s quite common for people to cheat steal, lie etc… of course people justify these things but it’s the majority of humans…just I was naive to believe that people are actually cruel and broken. Majority of us I deep down selfish and most people are too busy lying to themselves to even know them self properly.
Well, I grew up and I have about 4 friends because quite honestly, most humans are self absorbed, materialistic and just self promote… contrary to my comment im not at all angry, I live a simple life and have just accepted humans for what we are… just simply indifferent. Im actually a millionaire and have an amazing partner but I drive a10 year old car and live in an average house… and work a part time job minimum wage and not a single person would ever know. again, I don’t expect anyone to care about this post but i wanted to share my secret to the world whilst being anonymous.
im not millionaire but your post resonates with me, if i were rich id choose to live just like you. I couldn't care less for status symbols like fancy cars or watches. Many people in the world are shallow and materialistic....unfortunately
I still make that mistake, projecting my values and ability to think critically onto others. I do it much less than before though and am able to catch myself and quickly reverse course.
Thanks for sharing your story, brother. I’m learning to navigate through it all myself. I’ve realized that I’m a lot like my Mum in a sense that she’s constantly seeking validation from people who don’t seem to care and it frustrates me now because I use to do that with my ex gf and current/recent ex. I’ve got to get out of that mindset and accept people for who they are. In the word, Jesus talks about being “meek” which Jordan Peterson often touches on about sheathing your sword. There’s a difference between being nice and being good. And the key difference is virtue. The nice man has no boundaries whereas the good man knows when and when not to act in any given scenario or circumstance. This may not be relative at all but your story resonated with me a lot so thank you. I’m focusing on pursuing my goals and tackling obstacles that are in my way as that challenges my character. The rest will fall into place. Wish you all the best and more. God bless
@@p-dee2288 yes exactly that…. True kindness can be painful… tree kindness is delivering honesty to others in the most softest way possible…. Many good people forget to be kind to themselves meaning that taking on other peoples burdens. Not in a selfish way, but if we aren’t congruent in our true values, we have no integrity, many human beings walk this planet without knowing they are diminished of integrity and I personally believe it’s a key ingredient for depression. People who stick to their morals and values and don’t look externally for validation will be rich. I really like your comment Dee, I’m not religious but I think the bible has some deep lessons that are on another level.
But your AI knows 😂😂😂
I get that people are wicked, including myself. But seeing everyone as an opponent, doesn't work for me. I'd rather think that time is the only opponent, and it's coming for all of us.
At the end of the day, where not here for very long, so people try and be nice to your fellow humans
The game is social and you need to find the right game for you and cooperate with the right kind of people.
Hopefully you wear a wristwatch. That’s why I do :)
In chess, it works well to adjust to your opponent too. For example, if you know he's good at tactics you give him a non-tactical strategic position. However, what should you do when your opponent is cheating? Do you start cheating too? That doesn't make sense at all... You call them out, stop playing and take care to avoid him and people like him in the future.
The world is a battlefield, yet people continue to create more people as if anyone wants a life on a battlefield.
Great comment. All life is competition. Even nature....be it an amoeba or a blue whale. And our system is even worse. And yet knowing all this people continue to bring people in this world for the elites to use as slaves.
I swear 🥲🥲
When bruce lee said “be like water, my friend”. It went beyond fighting but many people don’t understand that.
It's not laziness to refuse fights, it's strategy to preserve one's personal well-being, and refuse your "opponent" the "win". If they were always malicious cheaters, it would be imprudent to engage. For example, Concealed carriers are not trying to go toe to toe fisticuffs, they are going about thier business and if you try to force a "competition" for stupid reasons, you could die.
Bingo
Just problems compounding. They can't improve anyway. Find any way you can to ignore them.
I have more that a few acquaintances who are dismayed or depressed because life isn't "as it should be". People need to understand that life is what you make of it, and that self-directed values and goals are of real necessity in navigating the way that life actually is.
This man's analogy is spot on as far as I'm concerned. Do you
complain that you're boxing ring, or do you accept you're in a boxing
ring and figure out how to make life in a boxing ring better for me? I'm
willing to do what I gotta do to make my life better. On the side of light.
They take advantage over you, because they want to have advantage over you. They want to have advantage over you, because they want to get the best options for themself.
Yah if an annoying little sibling thinks you’re ignoring them so they do EVERYTHING they can to force you to give them what they want. This can include lying or manipulating
Exactly always an opportunist waiting to Pounce
I’m detecting some jealousy & enviousness of people that gracefully move through manipulative resistance with ease from Robert.
I ask everyone I know who has written a book to make an audiobook version. I used to love reading but currently I work online with clients for hours each day, so at the end of the day the last thing I want to do is SIT and read a book! But audiobooks and podcasts are PERFECT because I can listen while I walk the dogs, home, drive, exercise etc. So to all you authors out there, please consider making audiobooks for people like me.
Robert greene is an intellectual beast.i could listen to him all day
You people always comform to the victorious, no matter the situation.
This guy speaks on so many levels. The psychology of each person is so vital as to the effort you will apply. Human nature is fascinating.
I am a simple woman. I see Robert Greene in a video, I click.
I value Robert Greene's advice. Out of all the videos I watch on TH-cam about self improvement Robert Greene is among the best. He's studied history and has analyzed human behavior rigorously. His thoughts on life are well formulated and provide good insight.
Greene always has wisdom to share off the bat
If you expect everyone in this world to be good you are in trouble.
Nobody is inherently "good" or "bad". People just are.
@@True38 Nature loads the gun 💥Nurture ( or lack of) PULLS the trigger… Period.
This is just wonderful. It hits home so well and is a huge eye opener. As much as you want to make right it can never be right for someone else although it is best to work towards making things right to suit you and not your opposition
Strategy and Foresight are two very valuable tools to sharpen.
There's a great parallel in the battle of Agincourt: Henry V king of England stands on the front line confronted with 25,000 armoured French knights. The come through heavy mud and arrow fire from the sides keeping them in a slim line and the English men at arms wait. The moment before the French reach the English line they are tired from walking almost 3/4 of a mile in mud and armour. Henry's army and line is lightly armoured and simply steps back as the French take their first attacking move, they all lost balance and the English simply jump forward with all their energy and strike them between the armour with no wasted time or moves, every single French line after keeps coming and falls on top of the one in front. As such the English simply wait for the line to disorder, and tire then kill them one by one.
Around 4,000 soldiers kill up to 13,000 French soldiers, route many and capture thousands. All because they stood in defence and made out they were vulnerable but they had the advantage all along.
*So many things can be learned from this video. Thank you for sharing! Keep up the great work! 💪*
I always think that hurt people hurt people, happy with no problem people doesn't bother, doesn't hurt. Hurt people, problematic people, love to drain others energies, powers and live on it. Don't give your powers away.
Toxic is as Toxic does 💥🤬
No. Some people are sadists too.
What happens when both sides continue to slip down the slope of degenerating ethics in their efforts to "compromise"?
And what happens when the other party's interests are a void that can never be filled? How long will you appeal?
I'm trying to understand what the long-term outcome is in compromising higher principles and values in order to cooperate with the irrational and unjust.
Greene says many thing (if you watch his various interviews or read his books) - and many things he says contradict each other. He seems to want people to accept the dark side in others without complaint and then only seems to pretend at other times that he's not making that claim. But then he'll once again encourage people to accept the dark side and defeat. I say, "Is he kidding!" No way should any subject or witness to such darkness put up with it. They should stand against it to show these low-ethics people that they won't easily get off with their schemes.
@@kellyw8017 I'm glad to read this and see that I'm not the only one who noticed the contradictions in his ideas. It seems that strong adults with a solid sense of justice and integrity will succeed at reclaiming power from psychopaths. When dealing with toxic people in power, the only solution may be to utterly neutralize the power that they have over others. No cooperation or compromise; but rather complete conquest.
@@Amadeus_2061 And complete exposure.
@@kellyw8017 Yes.
Very good question!
This interview is sooooo cool...basic mechanics of human nature
He is 1000% correct
Marquess of Queensberry Rules! :)
I was hoping he’d recall. Bravo he knows there was actually name of the rules. Lol
Letting others take "Kindness for weakness" can lead to people being taken advantage of, and can be a life changer for those who don't know how to speak up for themselves.
Robert is one of the greatest people i know
Especially women are often set up for failure since early childhood. Women are taught that life is fair or should be fair and that men know best. If men dont know best you just have to "love" them out of their bad behavior and be their savior, like some beast that needs to he tamed by the love of this one woman.
This fantasy is the biggest reason why and how women stay in dead end and ab*sive relationships.
Women need to learn to become more strategic, less nice and more uforgiving and selfish and accept that a lot of people are just shitty human beings who dont deserve their goodness.
A lot of men already know that, thats why they can walk away more easily.
Also hook up culture is detrimental for especially women and family structure in general.
All this stuff needs to be taught in school if we want the next generation to do better.
Excellent!
100%
Bingo! And it’s very sick they try to manipulate & push us back into being the way you described so they can use and take advantage of us.
People are rocks.
Some are Rocks, others are Narcissists or/and Megalomaniacs. Life is hard, though it seems sinful, or weak to be honest about it. Why is this?
Wow, greene is deep af, a lot more than I feel he is given credit for
We need to teach people that nobody is totally good or evil. We are all various shades of gray
Stay ready so you don’t gotta get ready
It's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.
Thanks to both of you💜
Incredible value 🔥
What happens if your opponent is a psychopath who will do anything to win including murder, torture, rape? Do you still put yourself in that ring? or do you get the hell out?
Nearly 3%of the human population are psychopaths..........there is no way to defeat or defend them..........if you spot them.........RrrUUUUUNNnnnnnnn
Sometimes people trust without knowing what the hell they are getting into!
Then, life becomes living in HELL! Have you heard of
Stockholm Syndrome?
@Kaavish Naz And collect evidence.
Great questions and great answers. I enjoyed this very much
Great combination this very knowledgable
Brilliant advice
Oh no.. im not running away. In the beginning I was just naive to how money hungry and devious people tend to be. I was so young.
But I will say this. I dont care how many people have to die, I will no long allow people to take from me without consequence.
Hhahahah me exactly. I couldn’t believe how nasty some people could get when it came to “their” money. It’s like trying to mess with a dogs bowl as he eats. You see a real mean side of them come out
Wow people are rocks. Such wisdom. Wished I learned that since I was 4.
I should have defended myself from these rocks many years ago.
And expect people are different. Some are kind. Some are not.
Thank you for this Robert Greene.
People are terrible at Strategy.... good thing we are listening to Greene.
Great interview. Unfortunately, his message won’t make total sense until you’ve actually experienced the slings and arrows of life - and even then, sometimes the lesson needs to be repeated multiple times. I would advise listening to this interview over and over until you have it memorized. Then maybe the light bulb will go off in your head a bit earlier before bad experiences beat you down.
Sometimes i feel bad because i am afraid of taking advantage of ppl. But then i get caught up in toxic relationships and wonder if it is about them? Idk.
Self Love and Boundaries 🙏
Expect the best, prepare for the worst. 💪🏼
Because they are inadequate,, champions don't cheat they don't need to,,it's for weak individuals
This is truth
Even if you choose not to cheat, If you are facing against a cheater in any form of competition physical or mental. It is the mark of the intelligent man to adjust his strategy to most effectively deal with his opponent.
@@Ophanim1000 The most effective way is to simply disengage when possible. If emotional, process your emotions as you see fit and deem necessary then detach completely.
We are humans, there are many champions that cheat for sure