So true. Can't really explain it before you find the words to describe it, and they've got you so rattled all the time you can't think properly anyway. Imagine my astonishment at finding narcissistic patterns of behavior are a whole thing in the world of psychology. Where was this information when I was younger and needed it? 🤦♀️
Andrew, I don't think you realize how much your videos have helped people understand the narcissists behavior. How many eyes you have opened, how many lives you have touched and even lives you've saved. Praying God will bless you always!! Love that smile kiddo!! So glad you can smile now and have a positive outlook for the future, and now, thanks to you, many more people can smile and have the future they were meant to have.💖
Today marks 35 yrs with the narcissist. EXCEPT, I left his cruelty, and THIS anniversary will be the one I always remember as the year I got away! Life IS beautiful!!
Congratulations! Now you have a beautiful peaceful, joyful life in front of you to live to your greatest potential! I'm now grateful I was discarded. I celebrate every year! ♥
To anyone healing like I am, keep watching these videos, they do keep you on the right path. First that discovery, disbelief, then the escape, the mourning of all the losses, then the rebuilding learning to love your new educated self and more!! 🙏❤ YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
In the many months I've been watching you, Andrew, the most useful tidbit I've learned is, "In your own time." It's true. My time has been put in and I see the light at the end of the increasingly shorter tunnel. Thank you times one thousand.
You are amazing. At the perfect time, you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing, changing lives by speaking truth and providing the hope of freedom. When i was in utter darkness last year I clung to your powerful words: "I love you" at the end of each video. I knew you meant it, even though you have never met me. It carried me through the darkest nights of my life and I am forever grateful to God for you.
I couldn't begin to explain the uncanny timing finding this man. It's like stranger appeared with a bat in a dark alley while I was getting pummeIed by 'thugs of confusion' ( metaphorically speaking ) and fended them off. I 'll have to accept "There are no coincidences" and just be thankful.
I could see the cycle before I had the words to explain it. What I didn't see til the end was the little smirk on his face that said he knew exactly what he was doing. That's when I knew I was done. 😢
Thanks 😊 for another good video ❤️ I am healing and moving forward with prayers and self care being more aware of how people behave and treat others ❤️😊🍀💙🙏🙏🙏
I had twins, he disappeared for two weeks when they were 6 weeks old. Told me a real tall tale! I believed him then. Who does that? 25 years of narcissistic fog. Thank God I caught him in infidelity, I have healed now. So grateful for this. Your channel is excellent, Andrew. Well done!
Woke up this morning grateful to not be hearing what I 'should have' done, what I need to do, what goes where and 'you need to look for and pluck out rogue hairs on my back'. The last one is my fave. smfh. In three days it'll be a month without that B.S. You're right, you can't unsee it.
Yep your never good enough . They make Everything seem like it’s your fault and and ignore and isolate you. This is exactly what happens it’s a evil cycle . I can spot toxic behavior from a mile away now. This has been the hardest lesson to learn . i’m finally understanding now that I never needed them at all , I’m good enough by myself . I don’t need anyone to validate me . Thank you so much Andrew ! Your messages are life changing for me . I don’t feel alone 🌸
I figured that why humans can't unsee what we see is because it has the purpose to make us fix what is in front of us and get the lesson it is showing us. If we don't get it, it will repeat itself over and over again. We have the choice to overlook it or address it. Great video ❤ have a beautiful evening coach 😊🫶🙏
Repetition Compulsion. Yep. One of mine throughout life has been dealing with a binary. Feeling like there's just TWO choices with anything. A or B. But often, there's a third way. A way outside the box.
@@dubaiedge yep, there is always a way out. I really believe that. We just have to calm down, pause and the solution comes when the time is right. That's how i do it. Thank you for your message and have a wonderful evening 🤗💞
What I got from narcissistic abuse was a nightmare that took me years to wake up from, and a great big education. I also took off my rose colored glasses... and I have learned to take care of myself. 😊
You're in the middle of Christmas trees 🙂. That's unexpected 🙂. Yes, I can back you. Once you reach the pinnacle of indifference you are changed. You do see the world, yourself & other people differently. I never could have got there without leaning on God. God's blessings to you 🙂🙂☀️☀️🐿🪶
“Leaning on his everlasting arms”. I was tested and failed. He had to pick me up and set me straight. I’m just talking the last few days. But I failed, lost faith. When he saved me again, my faith restored, I’m brighter, liter, and more determined. I love the saving, hate the lesson and enduring the pain. His is always so forgiving and merciful. I appreciate his understanding and mine. God bless you always. 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️
YES. It's only when you're out of it you can clearly see what a Toxic unhealthy relationship it was,,On High alert all the time,,it's No wonder we all had Health problems our whole Mind and Nervous System Suffered,,,t.y. Andrew👉✨❤️❤️❤️👍
High alert all the time, so true. I’ve been blessed with good health though. But stress effects me in angery outbursts because I could sense a deeper trouble by nothing making sense. Stress by knowing that they just don’t want to do the right thing by me. I realize now it has nothing to do with me. They are blind to what they know that they do, because they don’t know why they do it. We are learning so much in this heartbreak, that they have given us a gift. I accept only because I found incredible freedom yesterday, so I now know it was all worth it in the end. Love ya, bless you. ❤️❤️🙏🙏
I think one of the hardest things about overcoming toxic, narcissistic dynamics is that both you and the narcissist both know that you are not perfect. And both you and the narcissist use that to beat you up, especially if you have made a routine out of it with them. You will have trusted them and opened up and have been vulnerable with mistakes that you haven’t even made with them and they will weaponize that as well and you may let them do it for a time. Even though it doesn’t have anything to do with anything, and has nothing to do with them or who you are. The narcissist, and they’re flying monkeys will hyper fixate on a few shortcomings if yours, where either they pushed you too, you’re breaking point and you slipped up, were you just actually made a mistake, because you’re a human being and that’s what humans do to learn. Even though it has nothing to do with who you are now and you forsake the mistake that you made. But if you haven’t really made noticeable mistakes, don’t worry, they will be invented for you and hammered into you if you let them. You have to do two things if you are a human being like me who knows that they are not perfect and they make mistakes in order to overcome these dynamics with yourself, and with others. You have to reconcile the fact that you make mistakes, everybody does. Making the mistake that you don’t know about doesn’t make you less than. But once you know, it’s up to you to change. If you can do that, then you don’t need to worry about that anymore, and that’s what life is all about is finding fulfillment, enjoy and growing ourselves and learning and helping others to do the same that we love and care about. So you have to reconcile the fact that yes, you are an imperfect human being, and you have made mistakes. And also, and importantly as well, you are only accountable for you and to some degree your children until they come of age. So regardless of what mistakes you have or have not made, other people have their own agency to choose to do well in the choose to not make mistakes as well. You can influence people for better or worse, but at the end of the day, we are all accountable for the choices that we make. The end.
True. Once you see the abusive narcisistic cycle you can not unsee it. It is game over. Narcisistic people are crazy and If you do not remove yourself from their presence, they will make you crazy. Thank you Andrew. God bless you❤
I remember apologizing for things I did not do just to hopefully keep the peace all this did was keep their rage burning course I didn’t realize this at the time Normal relationships didn’t look like that Also if a person is never wrong ( BIG RED flag) it’s exhausting It’s a shame they have no real kindness they just destroy people Thanks Andrew
I'm so sorry you went through that. I can relate. Mine used to make me apologize for things I had no control over. It was definitely crazy making behavior. Thank God we can heal❤
I still couldn't clearly "see it," years after or during the relationships with a Narcissist. The eyes of the mind opened with this education. All bad treatment, ugly drama, every surreptitious, manipulating maneuver I can see now in 3D and as you say, "I can't unsee it."- Domo Arigato, Sensei Andrew! I'll continue working towards my Black Belt in the art of Narc self-defense! 🙏👍
I had a narcissist for a mother. I suffered until she died. I felt relieved and free at my 30s I’m now 62 yrs old and I’m still healing ❤and under therapy. But magically I’m alive and see what mum was hating on - it was because I had everything she wanted in herself. ❤
That is so sad that these people think it does them any good to try to suppress things they want to be in others rather than being inspired to better themselves. It's ignorant and wasteful and lazy. Not to mention crazy. 🙄
Andrew, I think this is one of the most powerful videos I’ve ever seen in my life!!!!! 25 days ago, a discard happened. But this was a long of cycle of breakups and get back togethers spanning years. My stomach used to be sick from missing her but now it’s sick from happened to me, the trauma bond and loss of my identity. I was an indentured servant. I thought if I just try harder and harder my love will conquer. I’ll just give everything I have. And when someone disrespects you when you love them so much it made me feel that my love wasn’t good enough, my actions, my everything. My light got snuffed like a zombie. I’m healing. I pray she doesn’t show up knocking at my door like she had once before. I’m isolating and starting a new training program, not to get someone but to live well for me. Your videos are literally saving my life. You are here for a reason!!!! Thank you!
Absolutely true. You totally lose who u were and the challenge is to find yourself again. The realisation of what happened to you, is so clear once u remove yourself, u can never un-see. Thank you Andrew 🙏🏽
Yes Rosie, i blocked her, and she is now posting pics whit her ex, because i blocked her and i dont respond to her e-mails. I escaped the nightmare. With her i was lost, i found myself again. I saw it all, cant unsee it, never!
I've been out 3 years, no contact with narc, enablers or anyone that connects to him. I have suffered emotional and physical abuse, the smear campaign and all the nasty behaviour narcs leash out. I was doing OK for a while and I was moving on with my life but few months back I have had him constantly on my mind and I can't switch off. It is making me ill and I have sleeping problems, has anyone experienced this. Its like my own mind has turned into my own enemy.
Always trust your intuition and discernment. Deep down at your core, you know what is right, even if you didn't always see it. Lovin the woodsy background with all that greenery. 💚🌲🌿
Hi sherry!! Hey I found my way back and am better than ever. It happens so fast when we get the insight. It’s like a cork that was popped. I battle the dark night and won!! I had to be so humble to receive the best gift I could ever receive. True enlightenment that I can build on. I owe it to a tarot reader, she’s incredibly attuned to me in this time since January. Amazing! Your the one I wanted to share this with. Love ya❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
@christopherbrubaker2070 glad you're back and doing better. Thank you for reaching out and letting me know about your new insight. Dark night of the soul is not fun...I've dealt with some deep suppressed emotions too. Infact, I'm taking a social media break right now, as I have realized certain people and certain things trigger me, which tells me there is more shadow work to be done. My emotions are really a bit cray cray right now. So, I totally innerstand what you're saying. Honestly, I believe healing is a lifetime experience. When I become a bit arrogant (based from the ego), and think I'm healed, more things begin to surface and humble me to do more inner work. That's where I am at the moment. Have a great day! Sending love. 💕✨️
I've been painting for a few days and listening to lots of incredible music. The Marshall Tucker Band - played Can't You See What this Woman Is Doing To Me, just now. Man, woman , it doesn't matter. Just please listen. It's iconic and so are we.
I think it's important to bring more awareness to work abuse as it relates to narcissism. Many people run rampant in the work place with zero repercussions for their abuse.
Great message Andrew…… Great advice ….. Once you have healed you realise that…..No relationship is worth damaging your mental health…. Depend on yourself Never on others.
Amen….and having had to depend on ourselves only shows us how strong we all are, even when we haven’t always realised this about ourselves at the time. 💪❤
I feel like I was supposed to learn this. To stay an empath but to now be able to see the red flags. To learn to vibrate at an even higher energy. To recognize the signs. To rise above even higher. Thank you Andrew. Your purpose is to heal. Our purpose is to heal. ❤
I appreciate your explanation of "They (the narcissist) weaponize people's emotions against themselves." 💡 💡 💡 and thank you for the reasons for the silent treatment too, Andrew! Namaste. 🙏 ❤️
We can't unsee what weve seen and there are no coincidences in this life. We are here together healing from narcissistic abuse, getting the wisdom and empowering ourselves. Andrew you are here helping us all around the world....that is your legacy having suffered yourself. I believe we are all here together for a reason for the greater good. When we emerge from this fully healed, we will never allow ourselves to be sucked down a rabbit hole again. I will never tolerate poor behaviour again. It has been a tough year and eight months but im coming through it thanks to this education and wonderful community. Like Andrew says time and time again "you are not alone". That is the last thing that i feel. I belong and never feel alone. God bless you and us all.
BOOM! Brilliant articulation of my current truth and this crazy dilemma. Thank you for helping me to cohesively knit my scattered and scrambled thoughts together.
Once you see it, you can’t unsee it, it will forever change you and become your protection. It was a journey here, I made it to the pinnacle of indifference 😊
With this video, you absolutely hit the narc nail on its head! Your insights are utterly remarkable in their accuracy - I can't even believe someone else knows exactly what I'm going through with the TWO OF THEM in my life - altruistic narc sister and grandiose narc domestic associate (formerly my SO.) What especially, uncannily, rang true was the whole "get busy when they arrive home" thing. I'm retired. Whenever I am relaxing when he's not here, there is always the underlying "red alert awareness" sense, so that when I'm reading or on my laptop, I always position myself facing a window overlooking the driveway. His truck pulls in? I slam down the book/laptop, and spring into action, unloading the dishwasher, folding laundry, etc. I save up these tasks to do when he's on the premises. Appearing idle (to him) results in disdain and criticism.
*ALL* of this is so accurate for my situation. We didn't live together but he accused me of being lazy (single parent who worked/had own house) and having lots of free time (!). This is exactly how I behaved when he came round. Could never be just sat watching TV, I had to look busy. I also started to make notes on my phone of all the conversations we had. All the put downs all the criticisms. My Mum passed away during this toxic relationship. I held on because I felt lost. We have been separated 6 months now and when I look back it's like an out of body experience. I didn't know who I was anymore. I do now. I am on the healing path and I am healthier, happier and sleeping better. I have been following you, Andrew, since June 2021 after a decade long narcissistic relationship. You speak our truth and you are the remedy I tap into frequently if I ever start to drift a little and lose my way. So so grateful 🙏 Sending positive vibes to our community ✌️
Thank you for positive vibes. I too felt ‘I didn’t know who I was’ when I got out. It’s a long road but it gets better. The out of body experience, yes I was so confused. I felt ‘shell shocked’. Blessings on the healing journey ❤.
@@freebird968-wg4ye I hear you 🙏❤️ I look back and don't recognise myself. It's quite frightening really. It is a long road but it sounds like you are getting there. I wish you total peace and happiness on your healing journey ✌️
I've been getting the silent treatment from family for 5months now. They are very childish and dysfunctional. Exactly 💯 not going to be a people pleaser.
It stinks, but they have a choice to make as well. If they don’t make the right one, your not responsible for that. If it’s time to gain freedom from them, so be it.
Fantastic message. And the greenery against the October sky 🌲 🍂❤️ Can be present now for the couple of women in my life here who are uncovering their own histories of narcissistic abuse. Being there as they process and understanding fully. Couldn’t have done that until this year. Thanks to Andrew and this community 🙌💪❤️🙏
The problem with narcissistic abuse for me was that I didn't even know I was being abused! I could not figure it out until Andrew's videos. Think of all the people out there like me who are woefully ignorant of the situation they are in! Gobsmacked!!!😮
@@emilywilson7308 that’s a great word “Gobsmacked”. I didn’t know either Emily. I was of the old belief “Christians will be persecuted and the devil is the one to blame” etc. and you know what? A bunch of BS I say. Kinda had it with all that. You’re doing good. Takes some of us awhile to not just wake up and get out of the fog, but to really see just how much bologna we were fed. 🫂 🦋🌸🙏
The last time I talked to my daughter, all she could talk about is how clean I kept the house..and could I cook such and such, but it never ever was enough. I worked full time as a nurse and yet she always left the house and found other things to do. My son was my touchstone. If I didn't have him, I think I would have lost my marbles.
I get you! I would work, he didnt but was always busy. I would get home from a 10 hour shift to be expected to cook and call him down from his bed when ready. He never saw me, or saw how i may have loved some dinner ready when i got home. My family were my sanity especially my son, he could see him for what he was. Bless you and i pray you will be spoiled and treasured in life by others❤❤
@@dinamiller9744 no no!! My mother was a narcissisist and her parents were adorable and ended up taking care of me afyer the courts had me removed from her. I lived with them and saw them, they were giving, kind and understanding. So no,its not your fault, people choose their path when older. My son has mental health ussues and I always blamed myself, but its too easy to blame yourself, there are other facters involved. Narcissists are just what they are, a different soul. Love them, but not what they do, seperate the two things. However only if pissible as I can say I do not love my mother as she is not worthy to be called my mother and I will not put myself under her spell of evil.xx
I still remember my lovely father saying "Your mother will be home soon. We have to make it look like we did some house work." Yup. My late mother was a narcissist. One of her favourite expressions was "I shouldn’t have to ask".... in other words I should not even have to ask you to do household chores. You should do them on your own.
Definitely a lot safer to be seen doing dishes than laying on the sofa in front of the television, no matter what you've done all day. Played that game as a kid, and again with the narc I ended up marrying later. 😕
I can identify with that. It was hard not knowing when you were going to be reprimanded for not doing something (cleaning) when you’d never been asked to do it in the first place or encouraged to help. This sort of situation is where we develop hyper vigilance. Our own, sort of, mind reading skill. Trying to read what another person is thinking and adjust our behaviour accordingly to avoid reprimands. I can see clearly where this started and how it’s affected me throughout life leading to people pleasing behaviours etc and a lot of anxiety. ❤
That's my husband. I do nothing right when it's the other way around. High , lows and denying things theve done and said in the past. It goes on and on .
Unfortunately, I never got the silent treatment. It was always verbal abuse. I remember early in the relationship going to a diner, for breakfast, to meet his 2 friends for the first time. I started to join in the conversation. He turned and looked at me with such venom & said, "I wasn't talking to you!". I could feel my face redden and wished I could crawl under the table! Always belittled me. The town I lived in. Everyone knows where Brooklyn is, noone knows where Vernon, NJ is.. I was a waitress, everytime I told him something about what a customer shared, he said they were all just a bunch of uneducated country bumpkins. Meanwhile, many of them were professionals, Lawyers, judges, actors, Olympic Champions, a movie stuntman, boxers & so on. He really was so full of himself. Everytime Everytime
You’re not alone. Regarding talking in a group of family and friends, mine constantly interrupted me and talked over me. Any discussion about this would result in petty ‘games’ when I was speaking to him on our own. In, what I thought was a normal conversation, he would suddenly lash out with “you have not let me finish…conversation is a two way process!!” Then he would ask me something. I would start telling him……then he would interrupt me halfway through!? Sooo frustrating and confusing. I eventually became a mute and a nervous wreck! So sorry you experienced this. ❤
Thank You Andrew. I've left three toxic Narcs, my X and two of my sisters. I cannot unsee them and the healing is an ongoing job ... We are not Alone 💖
❤ OMGOSH! Yes, courtship, friendship, relationships! We need to learn " Why can't we all just get along "! But seriously, stop making everything about sex? I agree with you...."mating "? Let's just try to learn how to treat each other; how WE ourselves, want to be treated! It's not rocket science; it's Biblical. It's more rational, which means it's so much easier. We do not need a NEW classroom to teach us. We need the old one! How I wish I was born in another century. Yes, harder than today...but was it really? Today is worse...technology has saved lives, agreed; only Lives... but "LIFE", is worse. Remember when going out to eat, was a special occasion? Now you walk into a restaurant, and look around... every body is staring at their lap. Texting someone else. Communications, have gotten better; but not communicating. Sad, isn't it?
The initial problem is you are viewing reality from the perspective of a regular person. You can't believe people exist at such a low, disgusting, petty level and it is a psychological kick in the teeth to have to acknowledge that. I've seen people say in a roundabout way they'd rather put up with the scumbaggery than admit to themselves that people are capable of this behaviour (continually). Once you do admit to yourself said behaviours are pretty common and do your homework you then have the shock of realising all the creatures you've had in your life over time because once one has fed on your energy it attracts others. It's a horrible process but once it's started you have eyes to see the creatures and there's only going forward because you know what is waiting for you if you don't and it does get easier.
Before i found this channel. I thought it was me for a lot years. Thought i was being to unreasonable. Or my fault. Thought i was being over the top wanting to be treated right loved right and cared for right. Or calling out his toxic behaviour to many times. And being unreasonable about it .Turns out i wasn't being unreasonable i just wanted a good life. like everyone wanted at the beginning but never got. You cannot unsee what you have seen or been badly treated in. But in time, you can somehow heal and think that you were always the better person in that time and you had all the things you still are and still process.but now you know. they never had that themselves.
You are right, but our desire to receive love from others can take away our understanding of loving ourselves. We know how deserving we are, but we may not know why they abuse that, and refuse to give it. I know now it’s because I had to accept that whether they do or don’t love me doesn’t matter, because I’m strong in myself. Now I can say these things and not really get the true meaning of it. I have found that I have to truly fall deeply in love with myself which takes a whole lot of inner work and acceptance. When I realized I lost faith in myself, it all became so much clearer in how I need to have it. I do have it now, but it took a lot of voluntary pain I gave to myself to truly receive the knowledge. It lead me down a very dark path, but it was necessary. The sinner we start this dark path journey the better. It’s for us. I couldn’t survive it without the help of a higher power. But I did survive.
Hi Andrew and community. I apologise for being MIA for a few weeks. I was dealing with the sudden loss of one of my birds. One of the first ones to have arrived who was dear to me. Im still grieving. And I’ve had to attend to the others who were close to her to ensure they’re ok. All while still dealing with the narc. I wanted to say thank you for this video. I stopped watching videos up until last weekend when I eased myself back into them again. I just watched and liked but didn’t feel ready to comment again. I am ready now. I can’t unsee what I’ve seen. Dealing with the loss, I found myself looking at old photos and remembering the “better” times. And now that I’m aware of narcissism, I almost immediately said those same words. It’s just not the same when you know what you’re dealing with. I questioned just how real those emotions in those photos were. I wouldn’t have done that without narc education. Another thing you said made me reflect a bit. You said we were meant to go through this and help other people. When I finished school and went to tafe, I studied community services so I could help people with mental health issues. But I did not have enough experience. I always thought I wouldn’t be a good worker in this industry because I hadn’t experienced abuse and a lot of people experience this and I now realise a lot of it is behind closed doors. This was in 2005. I think of that and your words and I feel that now, maybe I could really help others as long as I can get away and heal and get qualified. Because I’ve experienced it, without even knowing I experienced it until this past year. I still feel angry to have to go through this and have my life and mental health turned upside down. But your words made me reflect on those thoughts from back then and my thoughts now. Thank you for letting me share and thank you for this video and to the community here for always being kind towards me and communicating with me. I feel that knowledge on narcissism will not only help people deal with just narcissists, but all types of toxic people.
@@mariageaney2362hi Maria. Thank you for your kind words. I feel really blessed to have met someone like you. Thank you for always remembering me and thinking of me. And please remember, I’m doing the same and thinking about you too. And hoping that the good things in life come your way because you are deserving of it. I’m slowly getting through some of the videos I’ve missed on here and they are helping me remember my reality without compromising my love and care for the birds. I hope that right now you are having a good rest my special soul sister and friend. ❤️❤️❤️
@@lailaa6662 hi Laila, thank you for your message and yes I can always feel your presence. I understand the healing journey you are on considering the loss of your beloved bird. I was wondering what kind of birds they are? How are the other birds doing, I believe they will be feeling the loss too. I don't even have to imagine what the narc is like at this time . I am hoping for the best for you. Sending you love from my pure heart. Sending you warm loving embraces. 💖🧚🌹🫂🧡
@@mariageaney2362hi Maria I’m glad you can feel my presence. It’s amazing the spiritual feelings we can feel. I have felt these spiritual feelings before. There are a lot of varieties of birds here (because the narc kept bringing more and more despite promising to stop) but most are parrots (small and larger) and some doves too. The birds I’m always referring to when I’m concerned are lovebirds. They will always have my heart. They were the first birds I ever had experience with. They are small, the size of a human hand (if even that). The one that passed away was a lovebird. Most of them seem ok now and are eating normally and getting on with their day. But one still isn’t. Her cage mate that was left behind. She’s still grieving. She eats and is distracted by the others as she’s surrounded by them. But only eats one seed variety when she used to eat more. I’ve increased her vegetable intake a bit more for now. The narc is just going on with life as usual. Pretends to care sometimes but I feel the fakeness. His eyes are just glued to his phone or the tv or both. Always watching dramatic news. I find myself unintentionally grey rocking and just doing my own things for myself and checking on the little ones regularly. How are you and how was your weekend? I hope your last week was not too full on with appointments or stress. I really appreciate your messages to me. You have been so kind to me while I deal with the narc and this loss as well. It feels like a setback again yet at the same time I feel I’ve caused myself to be set back by my emotions and attachments too. Thank you for always being a kind friend to me. I hope I am able to do the same for you. I’m always around even if I’m not commenting on here regularly. I’m still around. And I send you a virtual big hug as well. ❤️❤️
This year of 2023 has been so enlightening...but so frightening. When I stood up to protect my boundaries this is what I have lost so far: my younger sister, a friend of 8 years, and my "bff" of 30 years. How can this happen? The abuse was very subtle and covert... but the accumulative effects were debilitating...just when I think I can live in peace another narc slips off their mask and I SEE IT! And thanks to you Andrew, I can't unsee it!
Can identify with this. Younger sibling, what I thought was bff 40 years. It’s unknown territory with associated feelings of loss, and other emotions….a sense of guilt? Still struggling with this bit. ❤
I have one narcissist down (mother died last Thursday night) now have another 2 (maybe 3) to go. Not kidding, these people think of nothing except themselves. They're truly evil. Just when you think everything is A ok they'll show you another level of hell
Hello, Andrew! This Fall, I picked a lovely color of sweater to wear: Matcha Tea Green. And I found super comfy shoes that match. I'm tending at my own pace and enjoying growing from being a little green turtle, to a bigger green turtle, these last three and a half years. I learn a little, heal a little, grow a little Yours is the very first platform where I started. Wow. My first video binges of learning...like breathing in gulps of fresh cool mountain air after walking through the desert cycles of narcissist abuse, that thanks to your channel I have been able to recognize and take action on. Internal peace is priceless. Thank you, Andrew.
I can't believe it, watched your video's before, knew it about a specific person, not knowing what I know now. Now I'm waking up about my person. As if I just woke up from dreaming. Scary.
Sometimes they hit you in the head with a hammer when your walking out the door ! Get the message..I'm serious. 💯stay💪. Thanks Andrew for great video. Your wisdom and education helps me and many other people..
Hey there Andrew! You’re so right, once you have come through the cycle and you have healed, you can identify the narc very quickly and accurately! Sometimes you may find _you_ know their next move before even _they_ do! ♟️🏆 Great video, Andrew, thanks! I hope you’re having a wonderful Friday afternoon! Enjoy your evening!!! 😉☺️🥰😇❤❤❤❤ My friends, I hope you’re enjoying your Friday! Stay safe out there, love y’all!!! ❤❤❤❤
So, my cat is a narcissist! We were gone one night and he peed all over my son's artwork on his desk!!!😢 He's very furry and sweet- the push/pull, covert narc. Very charming and passive-aggressive!😮
That thing I could never pass it sometimes you want all what you have been through wasn't real and you may also want go back but you can never unsee what you have seen It's okay to say yes I got weak I got injured but never stop there get out stand again and heal be strong never go back again because these creatures become worse they never improve Great msg Andrew
🎉 Push /Pull..Up/ down./ In/out. Round/round. Yes he(they) can't love or know how to treat another human, most challenging thing one will experience and it isn't fun. The narc is the dark and nothing good comes with it . Makes you think you can't do anything right I was second guessing about every decision. He striped me of any bit of confidence I had , I was scared to show if I was happy because he would strip it out of me so I could never be myself . Thankgod the angels the universe gave me the strength to walk away and heal😊❤ without their beautiful unconditional love I'd still be in the fog and dread . My happiness is one of the strongest emotions today I have along with all the other good stuff that comes our way when we reach the top ...love and peace everyone xx💜🙏🦋
Emotional abuse is silent. I realize everyday in my healing that there was nothing genuine in this home. It was my home I shared with this person for 24 yrs( even on the deed) Now it is returned to me again. He made this just an outer shell a transaction like our lives together I began to feel this one yr before the I discarded him. I no longer made myself supply. I know the narc/addict believes he had ad triangulated me, not so I deserved so much more. And now thanks to my hard work I have it These communities are very helpful Stay stronh
Thank you Andrew for this video. What helped me from the start of watching your videos was and is that I am not alone. I was alone for such a long time.
YES ANDREW& THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THE TRUTH. MY HEALING came when I learned The Narcissistic abusive CYCLE. Like you said. They wash,rinse spin. ALSO giving all CREDIT to my Higher Power GOD,JESUS & HOLY SPIRIT..... Gave me Power,Love & a Sound Mind to overcome this evil treatment by several narcissist's in my life. One of your share title was, WHEN THE narcissist KNOWS YOU KNOW !!! THANK YOU ANDREW FOR YOUR GENUINE LOVE.
So true.. you can’t unsee it, but you wish you never saw or met the narc before. It was something on our journey to learn from. How freeing it was to drive away from that house. So thankful and glad Andrew advised me not to take anything from that house with me. I reflect on that. I heard a minister say the same thing…the object can carry bad energy…leave it all behind and move forward…very freeing that way. Accept > Let go > Move Forward > easier said than done…each in their own time and pace… May each one of us shed the narc cloak of darkness and move freely, abundantly into the healing light. Love Peace Happiness Healing Abundance Joy ✝️🙏🏻🕊️☀️😎🌸🦋🌳🌎❤️
🙏☀️🙏 I put the “Sun in the center “ of all of it because the “Son is the center of all of us” 🙏☀️🙏 I heard that “one frequency higher than Love is Truth “and I believe it😊 💗💚💗 Truth is Love and Love is Light ☀️🙏
I sincerely hope that People, especially the Newcomers....please listen to this video. Andrew is Truthful. It is a hard road...I ve been there and never thought I'd recover. I thought that Death was the only answer...I felt so worthless. Then...after watching Andrew and a few others, I gradually and I mean inches, towards My Healing. After 2 yrs. and 9 Months, something clicked. I found my strength...not in a huge burst...a small one...I applied for a Job. I left the couch. I was hired in an instant. I've been back to work for 5 weeks now...and everyday I feel stronger. I still listen to Andrew and Others...because this Journey is not over...
These reports of small victories ( may turn into something a lot bigger ) empower every reader. The stories of sad, destructive encounters help everyone too, especially the poster ( everyone needs to release). Where else can you find a whole community that understands every blow, every difficulty in pulling one's self up again? I'm so happy for you finding a path out of that dark Narc encounter. Onward and the best for you!
I felt the same about death. Thought if this will never change, then what’s the point. I forgot about my own power. I couldn’t see my own power. As long as I have breath, I can!! I’ve now gotten such great enlightenment about myself, my resilience, my fortitude to overcome it, that it shed light on everything else and I’m excited. I had to be humble to see. It sucks that you receive the deepest understanding after being in a deep hole for a while. The risk is real, and the only real thing that gets us up and moving is our desire to do so. Waiting in darkness for that desire to come is horrifying. We have to decide for ourselves, and by doing that we all of a sudden feel a lot better. We have to leave so much in that hole and bury it to move forward in strength. Bless you for showing us. Best wishes with your momentum, charge forward carefully but reassured. 👍👍👍❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏✊✊✊✊✊
Good evening Andrew and everyone. Whatever you do is wrong! It's never their fault. I lost 5 dear friends bcse I "always took his side." I can relate to the "friendship" which never existed. Before i met hiim, i was ssoooo happy, and ended up with my Oldies group. I wish i could go back in time, but i cannot undo what has been done. True, once you've seen it, you cannot unsee it. These topics are PRICELESS, and they all teach us something different. Be yourself, and do what YOU feel is right. If someone doesn't care about you, or reply to your comments, so what? You can't CHANGE ANYONE, BUT YOU! TERRIFIC TOPIC ANDREW..❤❤
After 44 years of cooking for narcx and kids, I all of a sudden didn't know how to cook a poached egg! ! !! The truth of what he put me through is so weird. Thank you Andrew for reinforcing why I escaped, and helping me to heal.
I am totally first now. Thank you for helping me detect those behaviors, I am getting sharper in my observation and I’m totally loving it. God bless you bro.🙏🏾
You don’t realise the abuse you have endured daily until you’ve out of it and start to think clearly
This right here 💪🙏🙌
especially when it is your own family
So true. Can't really explain it before you find the words to describe it, and they've got you so rattled all the time you can't think properly anyway. Imagine my astonishment at finding narcissistic patterns of behavior are a whole thing in the world of psychology. Where was this information when I was younger and needed it? 🤦♀️
Agree
It takes years to recover when it’s your parents
Andrew, I don't think you realize how much your videos have helped people understand the narcissists behavior. How many eyes you have opened, how many lives you have touched and even lives you've saved. Praying God will bless you always!! Love that smile kiddo!! So glad you can smile now and have a positive outlook for the future, and now, thanks to you, many more people can smile and have the future they were meant to have.💖
I'm sure Andrew realizes. He's helped thousands.
Lovely comment, I so agree 😊
Today marks 35 yrs with the narcissist. EXCEPT, I left his cruelty, and THIS anniversary will be the one I always remember as the year I got away! Life IS beautiful!!
Congratulations! Now you have a beautiful peaceful, joyful life in front of you to live to your greatest potential! I'm now grateful I was discarded. I celebrate every year! ♥
@@lourdesecheverria6209 Thank you, and congrats to you too!!! 🙏🏻❤️😊
To anyone healing like I am, keep watching these videos, they do keep you on the right path. First that discovery, disbelief, then the escape, the mourning of all the losses, then the rebuilding learning to love your new educated self and more!! 🙏❤ YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
In the many months I've been watching you, Andrew, the most useful tidbit I've learned is, "In your own time." It's true. My time has been put in and I see the light at the end of the increasingly shorter tunnel. Thank you times one thousand.
Yes-I love that because it takes longer than I want it to.😢
Thanks for opening doors to the healing path, Andrew.
Welcome 💯😌🙏
You are amazing. At the perfect time, you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing, changing lives by speaking truth and providing the hope of freedom.
When i was in utter darkness last year I clung to your powerful words: "I love you" at the end of each video.
I knew you meant it, even though you have never met me.
It carried me through the darkest nights of my life and I am forever grateful to God for you.
Thank you..💯😌🙌🙏😊
😭
Precious & so true!
🎀😘
Beautiful 🎉
This man saved my life i was abused for 3 years with a drunk narco .and watch your videos to get by on days i illuminate. U are amazing
Thank you for sharing 💯😌🙌🙏
God bless you Hoodgage!❤
Blessings! 👍
🎀😘
@@emilywilson7308 thanks
I couldn't begin to explain the uncanny timing finding this man. It's like stranger appeared with a bat in a dark alley
while I was getting pummeIed by 'thugs of confusion' ( metaphorically speaking ) and fended them off. I 'll have to accept "There are no coincidences" and just be thankful.
Oh, god, I used to even ask him “who are you today?”
💯💯😌
He’s dead. Wonder if the devil is as understanding as I was for 16 years
@user-ys8wb9ts1l Yes, which version is coming through the door this time? I wonder that the devil didn't know them pretty well all along. 😮
“who are you today?”👍🏻
I could see the cycle before I had the words to explain it. What I didn't see til the end was the little smirk on his face that said he knew exactly what he was doing. That's when I knew I was done. 😢
Thanks 😊 for another good video ❤️ I am healing and moving forward with prayers and self care being more aware of how people behave and treat others ❤️😊🍀💙🙏🙏🙏
I had twins, he disappeared for two weeks when they were 6 weeks old. Told me a real tall tale! I believed him then. Who does that? 25 years of narcissistic fog. Thank God I caught him in infidelity, I have healed now. So grateful for this. Your channel is excellent, Andrew. Well done!
Thank you for sharing 💯🙏😌☀️🙌
The lies. I hate being lied to manipulated with
I am highly insulted when lied to! Do they think I'm that stupid?!!!
Woke up this morning grateful to not be hearing what I 'should have' done, what I need to do, what goes where and 'you need to look for and pluck out rogue hairs on my back'. The last one is my fave. smfh. In three days it'll be a month without that B.S. You're right, you can't unsee it.
😌😌🙌🙏
My days of narcissistic servitude, etc., are over FOREVER! You can't unsee, unexperience,or forget narcissistic abuse, but you can get help to heal.
Amen!!! 👍
🎀😘
Yep your never good enough . They make Everything seem like it’s your fault and and ignore and isolate you. This is exactly what happens it’s a evil cycle . I can spot toxic behavior from a mile away now. This has been the hardest lesson to learn . i’m finally understanding now that I never needed them at all , I’m good enough by myself . I don’t need anyone to validate me . Thank you so much Andrew ! Your messages are life changing for me . I don’t feel alone 🌸
I figured that why humans can't unsee what we see is because it has the purpose to make us fix what is in front of us and get the lesson it is showing us. If we don't get it, it will repeat itself over and over again. We have the choice to overlook it or address it. Great video ❤ have a beautiful evening coach 😊🫶🙏
No doubt! 👍
🎀😘
It repeats itself, and it maybe even gets a little worse each time. 😕
@@cc1k435 yes i can tell you that in my case one particular situation did got worse. But now i know. Better late than never. 😉🙌💞
Repetition Compulsion. Yep. One of mine throughout life has been dealing with a binary. Feeling like there's just TWO choices with anything. A or B. But often, there's a third way. A way outside the box.
@@dubaiedge yep, there is always a way out. I really believe that. We just have to calm down, pause and the solution comes when the time is right. That's how i do it. Thank you for your message and have a wonderful evening 🤗💞
It's like a Pandora's box. Once out, you can't get it back in.
Well said.
What I got from narcissistic abuse was a nightmare that took me years to wake up from, and a great big education. I also took off my rose colored glasses... and I have learned to take care of myself. 😊
Good for you! I'm working on that now myself. 😊
@@cc1k435 it's not easy but it is definitely worth it... "...the truth shall set you free., John 8:32 KJV
You're in the middle of Christmas trees 🙂. That's unexpected 🙂. Yes, I can back you. Once you reach the pinnacle of indifference you are changed. You do see the world, yourself & other people differently. I never could have got there without leaning on God. God's blessings to you 🙂🙂☀️☀️🐿🪶
“Leaning on his everlasting arms”. I was tested and failed. He had to pick me up and set me straight. I’m just talking the last few days. But I failed, lost faith. When he saved me again, my faith restored, I’m brighter, liter, and more determined. I love the saving, hate the lesson and enduring the pain. His is always so forgiving and merciful. I appreciate his understanding and mine. God bless you always. 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️
YES. It's only when you're out of it you can clearly see what a Toxic unhealthy relationship it was,,On High alert all the time,,it's No wonder we all had Health problems our whole Mind and Nervous System Suffered,,,t.y. Andrew👉✨❤️❤️❤️👍
High alert all the time, so true. I’ve been blessed with good health though. But stress effects me in angery outbursts because I could sense a deeper trouble by nothing making sense. Stress by knowing that they just don’t want to do the right thing by me. I realize now it has nothing to do with me. They are blind to what they know that they do, because they don’t know why they do it. We are learning so much in this heartbreak, that they have given us a gift. I accept only because I found incredible freedom yesterday, so I now know it was all worth it in the end. Love ya, bless you. ❤️❤️🙏🙏
I think one of the hardest things about overcoming toxic, narcissistic dynamics is that both you and the narcissist both know that you are not perfect. And both you and the narcissist use that to beat you up, especially if you have made a routine out of it with them. You will have trusted them and opened up and have been vulnerable with mistakes that you haven’t even made with them and they will weaponize that as well and you may let them do it for a time. Even though it doesn’t have anything to do with anything, and has nothing to do with them or who you are.
The narcissist, and they’re flying monkeys will hyper fixate on a few shortcomings if yours, where either they pushed you too, you’re breaking point and you slipped up, were you just actually made a mistake, because you’re a human being and that’s what humans do to learn. Even though it has nothing to do with who you are now and you forsake the mistake that you made.
But if you haven’t really made noticeable mistakes, don’t worry, they will be invented for you and hammered into you if you let them.
You have to do two things if you are a human being like me who knows that they are not perfect and they make mistakes in order to overcome these dynamics with yourself, and with others.
You have to reconcile the fact that you make mistakes, everybody does. Making the mistake that you don’t know about doesn’t make you less than. But once you know, it’s up to you to change. If you can do that, then you don’t need to worry about that anymore, and that’s what life is all about is finding fulfillment, enjoy and growing ourselves and learning and helping others to do the same that we love and care about.
So you have to reconcile the fact that yes, you are an imperfect human being, and you have made mistakes. And also, and importantly as well, you are only accountable for you and to some degree your children until they come of age. So regardless of what mistakes you have or have not made, other people have their own agency to choose to do well in the choose to not make mistakes as well.
You can influence people for better or worse, but at the end of the day, we are all accountable for the choices that we make. The end.
True. Once you see the abusive narcisistic cycle you can not unsee it. It is game over. Narcisistic people are crazy and If you do not remove yourself from their presence, they will make you crazy. Thank you Andrew. God bless you❤
I remember apologizing for things I did not do just to hopefully keep the peace all this did was keep their rage burning course I didn’t realize this at the time
Normal relationships didn’t look like that
Also if a person is never wrong ( BIG RED flag) it’s exhausting
It’s a shame they have no real kindness they just destroy people
Thanks Andrew
I'm so sorry you went through that. I can relate. Mine used to make me apologize for things I had no control over. It was definitely crazy making behavior. Thank God we can heal❤
@@judyyates2763 thank you for understanding 💕
I still couldn't clearly "see it," years after or during the relationships with a Narcissist. The eyes of the mind opened with
this education. All bad treatment, ugly drama, every surreptitious, manipulating maneuver I can see now in 3D and as you say, "I can't unsee it."- Domo Arigato, Sensei Andrew! I'll continue working towards my Black Belt in the art of Narc self-defense!
🙏👍
I had a narcissist for a mother. I suffered until she died. I felt relieved and free at my 30s I’m now 62 yrs old and I’m still healing ❤and under therapy. But magically I’m alive and see what mum was hating on - it was because I had everything she wanted in herself. ❤
God bless you, Radiance!❤
Blessings sweet one!
🎀😘
@@emilywilson7308 thank you. 🙏
@@marieeakin8534 thank you 🙏
That is so sad that these people think it does them any good to try to suppress things they want to be in others rather than being inspired to better themselves. It's ignorant and wasteful and lazy. Not to mention crazy. 🙄
We have been going through narcissist abuse from our own government vote them out. Thank you 🙏 love from Socorro NM 💖.
Andrew, I think this is one of the most powerful videos I’ve ever seen in my life!!!!! 25 days ago, a discard happened. But this was a long of cycle of breakups and get back togethers spanning years. My stomach used to be sick from missing her but now it’s sick from happened to me, the trauma bond and loss of my identity. I was an indentured servant. I thought if I just try harder and harder my love will conquer. I’ll just give everything I have. And when someone disrespects you when you love them so much it made me feel that my love wasn’t good enough, my actions, my everything. My light got snuffed like a zombie. I’m healing. I pray she doesn’t show up knocking at my door like she had once before. I’m isolating and starting a new training program, not to get someone but to live well for me. Your videos are literally saving my life. You are here for a reason!!!! Thank you!
you know something is wrong but you don't know what it is....
Have a beautiful Friday, everyone.❣️
Im on my way to go out of relationship finally wish me luck please lovely people ❤
Bless you sweetie...come back here for support. YOU WIN!!! 👍
🎀😘
Don't get discouraged. Best of luck to you.
👏💪❤ Keep strong. You can do this!
@@marieeakin8534 thank you dear 💞🙏
@@beverlysmith6397 thank u very much 💞
Absolutely true.
You totally lose who u were and the challenge is to find yourself again.
The realisation of what happened to you, is so clear once u remove yourself, u can never un-see.
Thank you Andrew 🙏🏽
Yes Rosie, i blocked her, and she is now posting pics whit her ex, because i blocked her and i dont respond to her e-mails. I escaped the nightmare. With her i was lost, i found myself again. I saw it all, cant unsee it, never!
I'm still smiling
😌😌
I've been out 3 years, no contact with narc, enablers or anyone that connects to him. I have suffered emotional and physical abuse, the smear campaign and all the nasty behaviour narcs leash out. I was doing OK for a while and I was moving on with my life but few months back I have had him constantly on my mind and I can't switch off. It is making me ill and I have sleeping problems, has anyone experienced this. Its like my own mind has turned into my own enemy.
Always trust your intuition and discernment. Deep down at your core, you know what is right, even if you didn't always see it.
Lovin the woodsy background with all that greenery. 💚🌲🌿
🌟 absolutely.
Hey Sherry! 🙌😇🩷🤗😁🍀🌸🌼🌻🌺🪻
Hi Jenn, Have a great evening! 🥰🥰
@@jennifernewton4637
Hi sherry!! Hey I found my way back and am better than ever. It happens so fast when we get the insight. It’s like a cork that was popped. I battle the dark night and won!! I had to be so humble to receive the best gift I could ever receive. True enlightenment that I can build on. I owe it to a tarot reader, she’s incredibly attuned to me in this time since January. Amazing! Your the one I wanted to share this with. Love ya❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
@christopherbrubaker2070 glad you're back and doing better. Thank you for reaching out and letting me know about your new insight. Dark night of the soul is not fun...I've dealt with some deep suppressed emotions too. Infact, I'm taking a social media break right now, as I have realized certain people and certain things trigger me, which tells me there is more shadow work to be done. My emotions are really a bit cray cray right now. So, I totally innerstand what you're saying. Honestly, I believe healing is a lifetime experience. When I become a bit arrogant (based from the ego), and think I'm healed, more things begin to surface and humble me to do more inner work. That's where I am at the moment.
Have a great day! Sending love. 💕✨️
I've been painting for a few days and listening to lots of incredible music. The Marshall Tucker Band - played Can't You See What this Woman Is Doing To Me, just now. Man, woman , it doesn't matter. Just please listen. It's iconic and so are we.
I think it's important to bring more awareness to work abuse as it relates to narcissism. Many people run rampant in the work place with zero repercussions for their abuse.
Great message Andrew……
Great advice …..
Once you have healed you realise that…..No relationship is worth damaging your mental health….
Depend on yourself
Never on others.
Amen….and having had to depend on ourselves only shows us how strong we all are, even when we haven’t always realised this about ourselves at the time. 💪❤
I feel like I was supposed to learn this. To stay an empath but to now be able to see the red flags. To learn to vibrate at an even higher energy. To recognize the signs. To rise above even higher. Thank you Andrew. Your purpose is to heal. Our purpose is to heal. ❤
Sunshine, keep coming back to this room. 👍❤️💪
Andrew you have a beautiful peace that radiates from you. You have clearly healed from someone who never deserved you. It's a wonderful thing to see.
I appreciate your explanation of "They (the narcissist) weaponize people's emotions against themselves." 💡 💡 💡 and thank you for the reasons for the silent treatment too, Andrew! Namaste. 🙏 ❤️
Your boiling that egg wrong! 😂😂😂 I love it that is so true...
We can't unsee what weve seen and there are no coincidences in this life. We are here together healing from narcissistic abuse, getting the wisdom and empowering ourselves. Andrew you are here helping us all around the world....that is your legacy having suffered yourself. I believe we are all here together for a reason for the greater good. When we emerge from this fully healed, we will never allow ourselves to be sucked down a rabbit hole again. I will never tolerate poor behaviour again. It has been a tough year and eight months but im coming through it thanks to this education and wonderful community. Like Andrew says time and time again "you are not alone". That is the last thing that i feel. I belong and never feel alone. God bless you and us all.
Thank you so much for your help and kind support
You helped me Andrew from day 1 Steve from london in most great full I can't put into words
You Can Do IT!!! 🙌❤️🤗🙏🍂🍃🍁🌾🌲🌻
Deanna, we can ALL MAKE IT. 👍❤️🌺💪
BOOM!
Brilliant articulation of my current truth and this crazy dilemma. Thank you for helping me to cohesively knit my scattered and scrambled thoughts together.
Once you see it, you can’t unsee it, it will forever change you and become your protection. It was a journey here, I made it to the pinnacle of indifference 😊
With this video, you absolutely hit the narc nail on its head! Your insights are utterly remarkable in their accuracy - I can't even believe someone else knows exactly what I'm going through with the TWO OF THEM in my life - altruistic narc sister and grandiose narc domestic associate (formerly my SO.)
What especially, uncannily, rang true was the whole "get busy when they arrive home" thing. I'm retired. Whenever I am relaxing when he's not here, there is always the underlying "red alert awareness" sense, so that when I'm reading or on my laptop, I always position myself facing a window overlooking the driveway. His truck pulls in? I slam down the book/laptop, and spring into action, unloading the dishwasher, folding laundry, etc. I save up these tasks to do when he's on the premises. Appearing idle (to him) results in disdain and criticism.
😢🫶💯
This is exactly the way u felt in Costa Rica.
*ALL* of this is so accurate for my situation. We didn't live together but he accused me of being lazy (single parent who worked/had own house) and having lots of free time (!). This is exactly how I behaved when he came round. Could never be just sat watching TV, I had to look busy. I also started to make notes on my phone of all the conversations we had. All the put downs all the criticisms. My Mum passed away during this toxic relationship. I held on because I felt lost. We have been separated 6 months now and when I look back it's like an out of body experience. I didn't know who I was anymore.
I do now. I am on the healing path and I am healthier, happier and sleeping better.
I have been following you, Andrew, since June 2021 after a decade long narcissistic relationship. You speak our truth and you are the remedy I tap into frequently if I ever start to drift a little and lose my way.
So so grateful 🙏
Sending positive vibes to our community ✌️
Thank you for positive vibes. I too felt ‘I didn’t know who I was’ when I got out. It’s a long road but it gets better. The out of body experience, yes I was so confused. I felt ‘shell shocked’. Blessings on the healing journey ❤.
@@freebird968-wg4ye I hear you 🙏❤️ I look back and don't recognise myself. It's quite frightening really. It is a long road but it sounds like you are getting there. I wish you total peace and happiness on your healing journey ✌️
Andrew’s videos bring me great comfort by confirming my decision to remove these toxic people out of my life and never looking back. ❤
amen, stay strong
I get YOU Andrew❣️ Thank YOU soooo much, I appreciate YOU😘❤🦋💫
I've been getting the silent treatment from family for 5months now. They are very childish and dysfunctional. Exactly 💯 not going to be a people pleaser.
😌💯🙏
It stinks, but they have a choice to make as well. If they don’t make the right one, your not responsible for that. If it’s time to gain freedom from them, so be it.
Fantastic message. And the greenery against the October sky 🌲 🍂❤️
Can be present now for the couple of women in my life here who are uncovering their own histories of narcissistic abuse. Being there as they process and understanding fully. Couldn’t have done that until this year. Thanks to Andrew and this community 🙌💪❤️🙏
Go, Chelsea!!!❤😊
Bravo...keep up the good work,
you're a champ!!!
🎀😘
The problem with narcissistic abuse for me was that I didn't even know I was being abused!
I could not figure it out until Andrew's videos. Think of all the people out there like me who are woefully ignorant of the situation they are in! Gobsmacked!!!😮
Agree....wow!
Thank God we see!!!
🎀😘
@@emilywilson7308 that’s a great word “Gobsmacked”. I didn’t know either Emily. I was of the old belief “Christians will be persecuted and the devil is the one to blame” etc. and you know what? A bunch of BS I say. Kinda had it with all that.
You’re doing good. Takes some of us awhile to not just wake up and get out of the fog, but to really see just how much bologna we were fed. 🫂 🦋🌸🙏
The last time I talked to my daughter, all she could talk about is how clean I kept the house..and could I cook such and such, but it never ever was enough. I worked full time as a nurse and yet she always left the house and found other things to do. My son was my touchstone. If I didn't have him, I think I would have lost my marbles.
I get you! I would work, he didnt but was always busy. I would get home from a 10 hour shift to be expected to cook and call him down from his bed when ready. He never saw me, or saw how i may have loved some dinner ready when i got home. My family were my sanity especially my son, he could see him for what he was. Bless you and i pray you will be spoiled and treasured in life by others❤❤
@@Honeychild5555 thank you honey child. Makes me think I must messed up as a mom 😔
@@dinamiller9744 no no!! My mother was a narcissisist and her parents were adorable and ended up taking care of me afyer the courts had me removed from her. I lived with them and saw them, they were giving, kind and understanding. So no,its not your fault, people choose their path when older. My son has mental health ussues and I always blamed myself, but its too easy to blame yourself, there are other facters involved. Narcissists are just what they are, a different soul. Love them, but not what they do, seperate the two things. However only if pissible as I can say I do not love my mother as she is not worthy to be called my mother and I will not put myself under her spell of evil.xx
Look at those beautiful spruces behind you! Better watch out for those birdies!!! ❤😊
God bless you Andrew you are God sent❤
😌💯🙌🙏
I still remember my lovely father saying "Your mother will be home soon. We have to make it look like we did some house work." Yup. My late mother was a narcissist. One of her favourite expressions was "I shouldn’t have to ask".... in other words I should not even have to ask you to do household chores. You should do them on your own.
Definitely a lot safer to be seen doing dishes than laying on the sofa in front of the television, no matter what you've done all day. Played that game as a kid, and again with the narc I ended up marrying later. 😕
I can identify with that. It was hard not knowing when you were going to be reprimanded for not doing something (cleaning) when you’d never been asked to do it in the first place or encouraged to help. This sort of situation is where we develop hyper vigilance. Our own, sort of, mind reading skill. Trying to read what another person is thinking and adjust our behaviour accordingly to avoid reprimands. I can see clearly where this started and how it’s affected me throughout life leading to people pleasing behaviours etc and a lot of anxiety. ❤
❤❤❤ The scenery!!!
🙌😍
That's my husband. I do nothing right when it's the other way around. High , lows and denying things theve done and said in the past. It goes on and on .
Can't unsee it and its so much abuse it kills, these communities awake are best to spend time with until the golden era is finished
Unfortunately, I never got the silent treatment. It was always verbal abuse. I remember early in the relationship going to a diner, for breakfast, to meet his 2 friends for the first time. I started to join in the conversation. He turned and looked at me with such venom & said, "I wasn't talking to you!". I could feel my face redden and wished I could crawl under the table!
Always belittled me. The town I lived in. Everyone knows where Brooklyn is, noone knows where Vernon, NJ is.. I was a waitress, everytime I told him something about what a customer shared, he said they were all just a bunch of uneducated country bumpkins. Meanwhile, many of them were professionals, Lawyers, judges, actors, Olympic Champions, a movie stuntman, boxers & so on. He really was so full of himself. Everytime Everytime
You’re not alone. Regarding talking in a group of family and friends, mine constantly interrupted me and talked over me. Any discussion about this would result in petty ‘games’ when I was speaking to him on our own. In, what I thought was a normal conversation, he would suddenly lash out with “you have not let me finish…conversation is a two way process!!” Then he would ask me something. I would start telling him……then he would interrupt me halfway through!? Sooo frustrating and confusing. I eventually became a mute and a nervous wreck! So sorry you experienced this. ❤
Thank You Andrew.
I've left three toxic Narcs, my X and two of my sisters. I cannot unsee them and the healing is an ongoing job ...
We are not Alone 💖
❤ OMGOSH! Yes, courtship, friendship, relationships! We need to learn " Why can't we all just get along "!
But seriously, stop making everything about sex? I agree with you...."mating "? Let's just try to learn how to treat each other; how WE ourselves, want to be treated!
It's not rocket science; it's Biblical. It's more rational, which means it's so much easier. We do not need a NEW classroom to teach us. We need the old one! How I wish I was born in another century. Yes, harder than today...but was it really? Today is worse...technology has saved lives, agreed; only Lives...
but "LIFE", is worse.
Remember when going out to eat, was a special occasion? Now you walk into a restaurant, and look around... every body is staring at their lap. Texting someone else.
Communications, have gotten better; but not communicating. Sad, isn't it?
😌🙏💯🙌
The initial problem is you are viewing reality from the perspective of a regular person. You can't believe people exist at such a low, disgusting, petty level and it is a psychological kick in the teeth to have to acknowledge that. I've seen people say in a roundabout way they'd rather put up with the scumbaggery than admit to themselves that people are capable of this behaviour (continually). Once you do admit to yourself said behaviours are pretty common and do your homework you then have the shock of realising all the creatures you've had in your life over time because once one has fed on your energy it attracts others. It's a horrible process but once it's started you have eyes to see the creatures and there's only going forward because you know what is waiting for you if you don't and it does get easier.
Your BEST video yet.💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Before i found this channel. I thought it was me for a lot years. Thought i was being to unreasonable. Or my fault. Thought i was being over the top wanting to be treated right loved right and cared for right. Or calling out his toxic behaviour to many times. And being unreasonable about it .Turns out i wasn't being unreasonable i just wanted a good life. like everyone wanted at the beginning but never got. You cannot unsee what you have seen or been badly treated in. But in time, you can somehow heal and think that you were always the better person in that time and you had all the things you still are and still process.but now you know. they never had that themselves.
You are right, but our desire to receive love from others can take away our understanding of loving ourselves. We know how deserving we are, but we may not know why they abuse that, and refuse to give it. I know now it’s because I had to accept that whether they do or don’t love me doesn’t matter, because I’m strong in myself. Now I can say these things and not really get the true meaning of it. I have found that I have to truly fall deeply in love with myself which takes a whole lot of inner work and acceptance. When I realized I lost faith in myself, it all became so much clearer in how I need to have it. I do have it now, but it took a lot of voluntary pain I gave to myself to truly receive the knowledge. It lead me down a very dark path, but it was necessary. The sinner we start this dark path journey the better. It’s for us. I couldn’t survive it without the help of a higher power. But I did survive.
Hi Andrew and community. I apologise for being MIA for a few weeks. I was dealing with the sudden loss of one of my birds. One of the first ones to have arrived who was dear to me. Im still grieving. And I’ve had to attend to the others who were close to her to ensure they’re ok. All while still dealing with the narc.
I wanted to say thank you for this video. I stopped watching videos up until last weekend when I eased myself back into them again. I just watched and liked but didn’t feel ready to comment again. I am ready now. I can’t unsee what I’ve seen. Dealing with the loss, I found myself looking at old photos and remembering the “better” times. And now that I’m aware of narcissism, I almost immediately said those same words. It’s just not the same when you know what you’re dealing with. I questioned just how real those emotions in those photos were. I wouldn’t have done that without narc education.
Another thing you said made me reflect a bit. You said we were meant to go through this and help other people. When I finished school and went to tafe, I studied community services so I could help people with mental health issues. But I did not have enough experience. I always thought I wouldn’t be a good worker in this industry because I hadn’t experienced abuse and a lot of people experience this and I now realise a lot of it is behind closed doors. This was in 2005. I think of that and your words and I feel that now, maybe I could really help others as long as I can get away and heal and get qualified. Because I’ve experienced it, without even knowing I experienced it until this past year. I still feel angry to have to go through this and have my life and mental health turned upside down. But your words made me reflect on those thoughts from back then and my thoughts now.
Thank you for letting me share and thank you for this video and to the community here for always being kind towards me and communicating with me. I feel that knowledge on narcissism will not only help people deal with just narcissists, but all types of toxic people.
Hi Laila, I am thinking of you at this time and sending you love and understanding. ❤❤❤❤
@@mariageaney2362hi Maria. Thank you for your kind words. I feel really blessed to have met someone like you. Thank you for always remembering me and thinking of me. And please remember, I’m doing the same and thinking about you too. And hoping that the good things in life come your way because you are deserving of it. I’m slowly getting through some of the videos I’ve missed on here and they are helping me remember my reality without compromising my love and care for the birds. I hope that right now you are having a good rest my special soul sister and friend. ❤️❤️❤️
@@lailaa6662 hi Laila, thank you for your message and yes I can always feel your presence.
I understand the healing journey you are on considering the loss of your beloved bird.
I was wondering what kind of birds they are?
How are the other birds doing, I believe they will be feeling the loss too. I don't even have to imagine what the narc is like at this time . I am hoping for the best for you.
Sending you love from my pure heart.
Sending you warm loving embraces. 💖🧚🌹🫂🧡
@@mariageaney2362hi Maria I’m glad you can feel my presence. It’s amazing the spiritual feelings we can feel. I have felt these spiritual feelings before. There are a lot of varieties of birds here (because the narc kept bringing more and more despite promising to stop) but most are parrots (small and larger) and some doves too. The birds I’m always referring to when I’m concerned are lovebirds. They will always have my heart. They were the first birds I ever had experience with. They are small, the size of a human hand (if even that). The one that passed away was a lovebird. Most of them seem ok now and are eating normally and getting on with their day. But one still isn’t. Her cage mate that was left behind. She’s still grieving. She eats and is distracted by the others as she’s surrounded by them. But only eats one seed variety when she used to eat more. I’ve increased her vegetable intake a bit more for now. The narc is just going on with life as usual. Pretends to care sometimes but I feel the fakeness. His eyes are just glued to his phone or the tv or both. Always watching dramatic news. I find myself unintentionally grey rocking and just doing my own things for myself and checking on the little ones regularly. How are you and how was your weekend? I hope your last week was not too full on with appointments or stress. I really appreciate your messages to me. You have been so kind to me while I deal with the narc and this loss as well. It feels like a setback again yet at the same time I feel I’ve caused myself to be set back by my emotions and attachments too. Thank you for always being a kind friend to me. I hope I am able to do the same for you. I’m always around even if I’m not commenting on here regularly. I’m still around. And I send you a virtual big hug as well. ❤️❤️
This year of 2023 has been so enlightening...but so frightening. When I stood up to protect my boundaries this is what I have lost so far: my younger sister, a friend of 8 years, and my "bff" of 30 years. How can this happen? The abuse was very subtle and covert... but the accumulative effects were debilitating...just when I think I can live in peace another narc slips off their mask and I SEE IT! And thanks to you Andrew, I can't unsee it!
Can identify with this. Younger sibling, what I thought was bff 40 years. It’s unknown territory with associated feelings of loss, and other emotions….a sense of guilt? Still struggling with this bit. ❤
I have one narcissist down (mother died last Thursday night) now have another 2 (maybe 3) to go. Not kidding, these people think of nothing except themselves. They're truly evil. Just when you think everything is A ok they'll show you another level of hell
Hello, Andrew!
This Fall, I picked a lovely color of sweater to wear: Matcha Tea Green.
And I found super comfy shoes that match.
I'm tending at my own pace and enjoying growing from being a little green turtle, to a bigger green turtle, these last three and a half years. I learn a little, heal a little, grow a little
Yours is the very first platform where I started. Wow.
My first video binges of learning...like breathing in gulps of fresh cool mountain air after walking through the desert cycles of narcissist abuse, that thanks to your channel I have been able to recognize and take action on.
Internal peace is priceless. Thank you, Andrew.
Welcome 😌💯🙏
I can't believe it, watched your video's before, knew it about a specific person, not knowing what I know now. Now I'm waking up about my person. As if I just woke up from dreaming. Scary.
I cannot unsee it, now that I know. Detection of narcissism is now my superpower.
Andrew!! The egg!!! lOve it!!!! 😜😜😜. #eggshellsbegone (oh, and those trees are PERRRRFECT for Christmas-my fav!!🎄🎄🎅🎅
😂 what IS it with narcs and eggs 🥚 🙄 I do eggs my way. And don’t walk on those shells anymore.
Sometimes they hit you in the head with a hammer when your walking out the door ! Get the message..I'm serious. 💯stay💪. Thanks Andrew for great video. Your wisdom and education helps me and many other people..
When journaling, think of it as statistical data collection, graphing reviles things your eyes would not normally see.
Hey there Andrew! You’re so right, once you have come through the cycle and you have healed, you can identify the narc very quickly and accurately! Sometimes you may find _you_ know their next move before even _they_ do! ♟️🏆 Great video, Andrew, thanks! I hope you’re having a wonderful Friday afternoon! Enjoy your evening!!! 😉☺️🥰😇❤❤❤❤
My friends, I hope you’re enjoying your Friday! Stay safe out there, love y’all!!! ❤❤❤❤
So, my cat is a narcissist! We were gone one night and he peed all over my son's artwork on his desk!!!😢 He's very furry and sweet- the push/pull, covert narc. Very charming and passive-aggressive!😮
@@emilywilson7308 😉😂
Nicely said 💪🙌❤️🙏
@@gratefultobehere
It fits him! 🤬
@@emilywilson7308 I believe you 💞🙏
That thing I could never pass it sometimes you want all what you have been through wasn't real and you may also want go back but you can never unsee what you have seen
It's okay to say yes I got weak I got injured but never stop there get out stand again and heal be strong never go back again because these creatures become worse they never improve
Great msg Andrew
Thank you 😌💯🙏
Much respect to you for all the great work you do.
Thank you... you did save my Life... thank you is not enough.Andrew❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏
🎉 Push /Pull..Up/ down./ In/out. Round/round. Yes he(they) can't love or know how to treat another human, most challenging thing one will experience and it isn't fun. The narc is the dark and nothing good comes with it . Makes you think you can't do anything right I was second guessing about every decision. He striped me of any bit of confidence I had , I was scared to show if I was happy because he would strip it out of me so I could never be myself . Thankgod the angels the universe gave me the strength to walk away and heal😊❤ without their beautiful unconditional love I'd still be in the fog and dread . My happiness is one of the strongest emotions today I have along with all the other good stuff that comes our way when we reach the top ...love and peace everyone xx💜🙏🦋
So peaceful... Calm setting... I see the Douglas Fir 🎄 I want....
Emotional abuse is silent. I realize everyday in my healing that there was nothing genuine in this home.
It was my home I shared with this person for 24 yrs( even on the deed)
Now it is returned to me again.
He made this just an outer shell a transaction like our lives together
I began to feel this one yr before the I discarded him. I no longer made myself supply.
I know the narc/addict believes he had ad triangulated me, not so
I deserved so much more. And now thanks to my hard work I have it
These communities are very helpful
Stay stronh
Thank you for sharing 😌🙏🙌
Thank you Andrew for this video. What helped me from the start of watching your videos was and is that I am not alone. I was alone for such a long time.
It is a relief to find others that understand!
Blessings 🎀😘
@@marieeakin8534 💗💗
If you face it and HEAL,
you will be more FREE!!
Yes! This was the worst experience I have been through in my life! 8 months ago I stepped away The best thing I ever did!
YES ANDREW& THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THE TRUTH.
MY HEALING came when I learned The Narcissistic abusive CYCLE. Like you said. They wash,rinse spin.
ALSO giving all CREDIT to my Higher Power GOD,JESUS & HOLY SPIRIT.....
Gave me Power,Love & a Sound Mind to overcome this evil treatment by several narcissist's in my life.
One of your share title was,
WHEN THE narcissist KNOWS YOU KNOW !!! THANK YOU ANDREW FOR YOUR GENUINE
LOVE.
AMEN! ♥
So true.. you can’t unsee it, but you wish you never saw or met the narc before. It was something on our journey to learn from. How freeing it was to drive away from that house. So thankful and glad Andrew advised me not to take anything from that house with me. I reflect on that. I heard a minister say the same thing…the object can carry bad energy…leave it all behind and move forward…very freeing that way.
Accept > Let go > Move Forward > easier said than done…each in their own time and pace…
May each one of us shed the narc cloak of darkness and move freely, abundantly into the healing light.
Love Peace Happiness Healing Abundance Joy ✝️🙏🏻🕊️☀️😎🌸🦋🌳🌎❤️
Thank you for sharing 🙏💯💯
Accept - Let go - Move forward ! Love it! Thank you for your post. ❤
"Once you see it, you can't unsee it."
And that offers a much greater level of protection 💪
💯💯😌
🙏☀️🙏 I put the “Sun in the center “ of all of it because the “Son is the center of all of us”
🙏☀️🙏
I heard that “one frequency higher than Love is Truth “and I believe it😊
💗💚💗
Truth is Love and Love is Light ☀️🙏
I sincerely hope that People, especially the Newcomers....please listen to this video.
Andrew is Truthful.
It is a hard road...I ve been there and never thought I'd recover. I thought that Death was the only answer...I felt so worthless.
Then...after watching Andrew and a few others, I gradually and I mean inches, towards My Healing.
After 2 yrs. and 9 Months, something clicked. I found my strength...not in a huge burst...a small one...I applied for a Job. I left the couch.
I was hired in an instant. I've been back to work for 5 weeks now...and everyday I feel stronger. I still listen to Andrew and Others...because this Journey is not over...
These reports of small victories ( may turn into something a lot bigger ) empower every reader. The stories of sad, destructive encounters help everyone too, especially the poster ( everyone needs to release). Where else can you find a whole community that understands every blow, every difficulty in pulling one's self up again? I'm so happy for you
finding a path out of that dark Narc encounter. Onward and the best for you!
I felt the same about death. Thought if this will never change, then what’s the point. I forgot about my own power. I couldn’t see my own power. As long as I have breath, I can!! I’ve now gotten such great enlightenment about myself, my resilience, my fortitude to overcome it, that it shed light on everything else and I’m excited. I had to be humble to see. It sucks that you receive the deepest understanding after being in a deep hole for a while. The risk is real, and the only real thing that gets us up and moving is our desire to do so. Waiting in darkness for that desire to come is horrifying. We have to decide for ourselves, and by doing that we all of a sudden feel a lot better. We have to leave so much in that hole and bury it to move forward in strength. Bless you for showing us. Best wishes with your momentum, charge forward carefully but reassured. 👍👍👍❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏✊✊✊✊✊
Yeah
Morning, noon & night :
Working for them & it’s never enough!
💯💯😌🙏
Great video❤✝ that's right
Don't forget your prayer request for Sat sundown
Good evening Andrew and everyone. Whatever you do is wrong! It's never their fault. I lost 5 dear friends bcse I "always took his side." I can relate to the "friendship" which never existed. Before i met hiim, i was ssoooo happy, and ended up with my Oldies group. I wish i could go back in time, but i cannot undo what has been done. True, once you've seen it, you cannot unsee it.
These topics are PRICELESS, and they all teach us something different. Be yourself, and do what YOU feel is right. If someone doesn't care about you, or reply to your comments, so what? You can't CHANGE ANYONE, BUT YOU! TERRIFIC TOPIC ANDREW..❤❤
Thankyou for your channel you are a Blessing!
After 44 years of cooking for narcx and kids, I all of a sudden didn't know how to cook a poached egg! ! !! The truth of what he put me through is so weird. Thank you Andrew for reinforcing why I escaped, and helping me to heal.
Welcome..💜🙏😌
I am totally first now. Thank you for helping me detect those behaviors, I am getting sharper in my observation and I’m totally loving it. God bless you bro.🙏🏾
Welcome 💯💪🙏🙌
Amen! 👍
🎀😘
Knowing that there are others is so so validating
😌🙏🙌
I ❤ its always someplace beautiful in these sessions.
Good examples. Definitely brought back some strong memories. Kinda funny how the verbal abuse is kept private. Namaste 🙏