How To Get Someone Out of a Cult - My Friend/Family Member is in a Cult, What Do I Do?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.ย. 2024
- When you realised someone you care about is in a cult, it can be hard to know what to do. In this video, I'm going to offer my definitive answer, as best I can at this point in time, on how to go about that.
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My mother is in a cult. I feel so heartbroken. Thank you for the video.
I think my father is in a cult too, online. He’s wasting the last years of his life listening to “Angels” on some private forum he pays to be a part of
@@candacestevens4446 I’m sorry. I know how you feel.
I’ve sadly lost a loved one myself to a large well known cult that is notorious for attacking people. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced 😢
This really made me think about which people were most key in getting me out of the Twelve Tribes communities. It really was those who didn't try too hard and just kept being friends with the old me. They helped me remember who I was before joining the cult and made me question if what I was doing was really true to who I really was. They helped me to remember that there was more to me than the identity the community had given me (which even included a new name.) Leaving that cult was no small task and I never would have been able to do it were it not for friends outside the cult who made me feel safe and loved.
This is so great information. My fiancé is not entirely out of the cult he was in and now my step daughter is showing signs of cult like thinking and behavior. She stopped going to school and stopped socializing with friends and only wants to read the Bible and believes the world is evil. She’s going into the same type of cult he is partly in.
I'm struck with how similar this is to dealing with someone who has fallen in love with someone who is...less than ideal. In my own experience, I fell in love with a woman who, as it turned out, had numerous mental issues. Being introduced to them slowly, however, clouded my judgement, like the proverbial frog in a slowly heated pot. Several friends and family members tried to dissuade me from the relationship, particularly once we got engaged.
Those who were forceful simply became "unfriended" (to use a more modern term for it) rather than influencing me. Because they were opposed to the person I loved, I cut them out of my life. By contrast, those who simply asked questions and showed they cared about me, but didn't directly oppose my relationship helped me see in the long run how toxic the relationship was.
I'm sorry to hear you went through this but I can't say I'm surprised. To paraphrase my friend Chris Shelton, a cult is, at it's heart, a destructive relationship. It's just been rolled out to include more people. The same dynamics apply often, as far as I've seen. And, as Steven Hassan has said, a family unit or a household can be a cult. I've experienced that first-hand.
Hi @burke615 I also fell in love with someone from a cult. He just cant fight for me because he needs to only marry someone from the second gen and follow all their rules. He doesnt want to help himself. So I guess its just sad that these people really cant search for the truth and set themselves free because its hard emionally, socially and especially mentally.
I am a former cult member. Was completely engulfed with the cult. The "leader" turned on my husband and myself and we were booted out. Best thing that could have ever happened! Sadly, every single friend I had turned immediately in us. I tried desperately to reach out to them but totally shunned.
Complete strangers turned on us (this all happened on TH-cam) very public.
The crazy thing is, I never ever thought of myself as a cult member. The programming is insidious.
This is brilliant. Well thought, articulate, clear, non patronising and so affirming. My brother is in a cult of just him and his gf. Awful
And what if they were born into the cult? I was and recently realized and got out. Deconstructing is a literal hell...I dont have a before to fall back on. What now?
One creates or decides what is true and has meaning. It may help, in a journal, to start making lists for these questions: What do I value? What do I enjoy? What makes sense to me? What do I think are lasting truths, ones that will always reasonably be true over the course of my lifetime?
For example, the earth is round. I stand on the earth. The air provides me with oxygen. Trees create the oxygen I breathe. My body needs food, water, clothes, and shelter. I want to have friends and loved ones. I need people for love, companionship, discussions, support, etc.
I'm not a cult expert or anything, but I grew up as an atheist when no one around us was, in the 1960s. i was taught critical thinking and reasoning skills, and to listen to different perspectives and make up my mind after reading about each: to not defer choosing what i agreed with, but to examine my current views against anything new, and reason through, point by point, between the two, until i was solid in my decisions, then would compare those ideas to the next philosophy, decide, and move on, etc.. Otherwise, a person can defer decision-making about what one believes to be true forever and then feel overwhelmed.
What I'm trying to say is one now has the freedom to decide what makes sense to them, and discard the rest. Discover what it is you agree with, but don't get stuck if new, better reasoned ideas come along. But do carefully analyze any new ideas to ensure that they're sound. Decide what things you know you can fall back on. The clearest of those are physical facts about the earth, nature, and one's body.
Connecting with nature, spending time outdoors, and taking classes on natural history can be very helpful; and connecting with physical reality is a very grounding, helpful way to discover what makes sense and what you value.
How does this sound? Have things gotten easier and clearer, hopefully, since you wrote this a year ago?
My families been in a cult for 4 generations. I don’t know if there is any hope for my mom or not. 50 years of indoctrination.
@ckimble25029 😔🙏🏻
I have been a JW for most of my life and I could not fault your approach. I left 4 years ago and cherished hope that my loved ones would follow suit. It has not happened simply because that first step called contact is stripped away from you. The cult leaders know that if they can sever this, then it will stymie any attempt for a"heretic"to engage with their loved ones. However I have to say I am on board with all that you say as regards not being the cult members bogey man. As an ex member you spend a lot of time fantasising scenarios that you might utilise in your quest to"rescue" them.
Your video rightly disassembles a lot of these futile strategies with logic and skill which will help me concentrate on things that have the best chance of bearing fruit. I've read all of Mr Hassan's books including the one on the biggest new cult in the world "Trump". Sadly I know folks that have escaped JW's and dived head first into this cult and seem to be back at square one without any feeling of irony.
That is why instead of tackling a particular brand of cult and expecting the ex member to extrapolate that to all cults (which would be helpful) I think it's better to focus on cult thinking in general and let them extrapolate in reverse.
I commend you on that I have reevaluated my thinking and as from today embraced a passive non confrontational intention should the opportunity become available. I've come to realize that rescue is less of a realistic prospect than we may cherish but more of a bonus that we could easily squander with the wrong tools.
Many thanks for the valuable tips that I can now feel more confident about.
Trump supporters aren’t in a cult lol. I will link you to sources that list facets and attributes that defines a group as a cult. If you want to say he’s a cult leader then every political leader is.
@@fargracingco.3135 do you see any differences in how Trump attracts followers and retains them than other political leaders?
Thanks for the info. I have seen where many believe things like flatearthers debunked to how cure alls do not work but people believe things any how. I am more concerned if a cult has abuse as dogma, and other dangerous destruction as well. Though with some cults whatever sects there seems to be not so destructive ways, and abuse not done to those such as kids in dogma or translation. Even so with helping those that leave cults they often need therapy and financially given assistance for survival. Excult members need much support.
Dude you’re intelligent. It takes a strong soul to break out
Very interesting and helpful advice, especially about being careful when your researching cults.
Your voice is so soothing
Thanks for this, my friend is in a cult and he openly praises it to me because I am spiritual anyway.
The things he talks about is completely insane, that he is becoming a god that his leader is the brother of Chris and that he is going to ascend and be replaced by a clone. Now as I said I am spiritual I'm a Pagan and believe in the soul. But Gods the things my friend comes out with is down right insane.
The intro to this is soo good. Because it is hard.
Thank you so much
I am realy looking forward to this one, especialy since my Sister went off with a bunch of Archangel-Whoo-priests, got twins with one of them just to be never seen again by anyone of my (our) family for 10 years by now. I would love to link your videos to my friens and family, but I live in Austria and the most people I know sadly dont watch english content. Thats another issue here because there is soooo much more Whooo to find in german than skeptic or science related topics. (But I believe its everywhere in the world like this.)
Thankxs for the good work good Sir and keep it comeing.
Ps.: I try to be kind and ask good questions. Thanx for the reminder in nearlyevery video. Love you bye.
Hey FreeRide, sorry to hear that about your sister. Hopefully this video will provide you with some tips. I don't make a habit of advice videos but this is a question I'm sent surprisingly often so I felt it made sense to put my answer in a video.
@You Are Here Thanx, I know, and I tryed, but that automatic translation thing on YT is such crap that its barely readable if you dont understand english.
@@AndeyTheFellowes So, I looked up the german (automaticly generated) translation for the video and I have to say that the translation is not as bad as I expected but unreadable at some points. I would like to correct that and I tryed to but TH-cam sayed: "The video you requested is not enabled for community posts. However, you could work on the following videos".
If it is possible and you are willing to give me access to translation-editor, it would be a honor for me to correct the german translation in this video because I realy believe it has a bunch of good hints about what to avoid to make things worse, which is the most important part of the video as I interpret it.
Thanks for the video eighter way. Love you bye.
@Slarfii Andreei I can tell you logicked did some mockery videos on this. Still some educational stuff there at times too even if joking around.
I dated somebody who mainly just tried to slut shame me into rejecting the friends I'd made in a new spiritual movement -despite me having initiated a sexual encounter in my life 'cos I'm asexual and don't even experience sexual desire and never did! -My family didn't mind me meditating with a 'cult' at all. They just noticed how chilled and relaxed I was from the meditation. I guess my ex just wanted me to be a hard drinking and drugged up / wasted nihilist like most UK clubbers are at weekends instead of looking for mahamudra -because that was more familiar to her -until that lifestyle led to her having some mental problems. -She furiously screamed and yelled at my meditator friends from the new spiritual movement whilst she was high at a festival -and they were a bit surprised why an angry purple faced woman they'd never met was uncontrollably sneezing and screaming at them and slagging them off. -Curiously I never lived with the group -(apart from a two day festival). Nor was I bound by a dress code because there wasn't one. -My ex failed to re-assert the mainstream cult(ural) identity -because it was an attempt to create an nihilistic ideology in me. And that was not ego-syntonic because I was more interested in looking for methodologies for deconstructing the ego I had previously identified with -just like Gautama Buddha did. -I guess the attempt to re-establish a nihilistic anti-spiritual mindset within me was an attempt at ideological re-programming using shame and guilt as the tools of indoctrination. I was never into an us versus them mentality at all. Nor was I attempting to recruit anybody at all. I just received unbridled hostility based upon anti-cult prejudice.
Thanks for your input....very helpful!
Thank you Andey, very helpful.
Rly well put together. Ty!
THIS WAS THE BEST VIDIEO ON THIS IVE SEEEEEEN. DAM AMAZING. I TOOK MANY NOTES!!!!!!
I think I have a unique situation from topic. My sister went too deep into Christianity that she’s now delusional. She has now alienated everyone in the family and has disappeared. To put it into context, my family is Christian but we are also realistic about balancing reality.
Literally in the same situation with my brother. He joined a group called jesus christians and no longer wants to contact us.
Have you made any progress? I don't know how to have a relationship with my brother, as he married an extreme Christian. He has pushed me away since he met this person, and after 4 years of their marriage, I am slowly realising what's going on (before, I didn't know why he was acting so weird). They are now having a baby, and I'd love to have a good relationship with them, but they are not interested. I don't know what to do; as he is my only sibling, it hurts me to lose him. What's crazy is that my family is Catholic.
What is the sorta somber music in the background?
You are amazing bro! Keep up the great work
My whole family is in the Christian cult.
This hits home. I dated girl for 10 months who was christian we were best couple, but the pastor was behind the scenes breaking us up and deconstructing me. Finally he told her if she did not end it with me she will kicked out of the church, god will let her have her short term fun but he will come and take a life from her as payment whether her own, mine or her kids. She got scared and ended it. He gave her 3 months disciplinary action for going against him.
KITTY!
Awesome advice.
If a person is in a cult, do they share that, or keep it personal? How would one know how to find out if their loved one is in a certain cult and which cult they are in? Is there a way to find out?
People in cults son't believe they're in a cult. The victim ask you to "meetings" that seem like sales meetings with some hocus pockus and nonsense.
First to write first this week lol 😆 party time xxx❤
Noooooooooo 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 how could you 🥺☹️😞
@@TowerJunkie awww i can't gloat how about we be joint first to say first lol xxx❤
Mark brae you earned this one 🤨 - I really need to watch this one cause I’ve got all my best friends mixed up in cults... there’s cats, and elves, and leafs... it’s quite quirky tbh.
I met a guy who was in gnostic group from South America Samuel Aur Weib something like that? 12 years in this cult he's just dying slowly
My brother has joined this group recently 😩
Spirit Science
Can we talk about the conspiracy cult?
What conspiracy cult?
How do i even begin to decide if my sister is in a cult or not :( i think she is, butt im not sure…
Hey do you have a contact email?
Yes!
Andeyfellowescultinfo@gmail.com
Great video.