Why We Feel Guilty When Our Pet Dies And Something That Helps
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ม.ค. 2021
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WHY WE FEEL GUILTY WHEN OUR PET DIES AND SOMETHING THAT HELPS // In this video I talk about why we feel guilty when our pet dies, how feeling guilty when our pet dies makes grief even worse, why we should not feel guilty when our pet dies. I show you a tapping technique especially for dealing with grief when your pet dies, whether it is your dog that has died, your cat that has died, or any other animal that has died. Tapping to relieve guilt is a safe and easy way to help you with pet grief guilt.
DISCLAIMER: Any information or advice I give is purely based on my own experience and research. There is no guarantee as there are many variables that will impact your success. Everything stated should be taken as opinion. Everyone grieves and experiences bereavement in different ways. Any therapy or coaching offered follows the rules and guidance of UK Law.
Keywords:
Grief, bereavement, sorrow, crying, tears, anxiety in women, anxiety in men, processing grief, shock, sleeping, can’t sleep, can’t eat, over eating, snacking, self medicating, drinking wine, drinking alcohol, guilt, feeling guilty, feeling sick, sick with grief, emotional, anger, blame, blame self, people don’t understand, family don’t understand, no one understands, heaven, rainbow bridge, spirit, spirit world, euthanize, put down, put to sleep, vet, accident, missing, dog, puppy, service dog, guide dog, cat, kitten, animals, pet, horse, bird, hypnosis, hypnotherapy, coaching, guided meditation, heart, fur baby, one of the family, my first dog, my first cat, my first pet, never get over it, saying goodbye, memories, mind, can’t get the thought out of my head, hurt, pain, emotional pain, hurts my heart.
Wouldn’t it be lovely to be able to enjoy your memories?
Sending you love and strength
Julie.
I lost mine 2 weeks ago. I dont feel guilty im just miserable. I miss her so much. Comeing home to an empty house. She was my everything.
Sorry for your sad news. Your house might be empty, but I'm sure your heart is full.
Grief is a natural reaction to loss. You are bound to miss her.
Thank you.
It's the hardest part of all; seeing every corner they occupied and feeling the absence. I hope the pain has become a little more bearable🙏🌈💖
Me Too... On the 15th,.. I lost the best friend I ever had. She was in pain from an accident getting into the car 2 weeks prior. she seemed ok so I thought she was gonna be ok, till the 12th. she was all of a sudden in pain...and I wanted to help her but she was too big to get back in the car and get out at the vets. it would have caused more injuries.. so i had to do the euthanasia here at home. but now I see her everywhere. It hurts so bad...I can't take it.
@@wildbillo68 oh Gosh I'm so sorry! 💔
The pain really is quite bad to say the least. I wish I could give you a hug
I lost my senior cat recently and I feel the same way. I am feeling guilt and sadness. The house is so empty. In the moment when I made the decision he was in pain and I didn't want him to suffer. But now I can't stop the feeling of I should have tried harder or did something more.
We always wonder if we did the right thing. In the end, you put ending his pain before your own feelings. That is an act of love. ❤️
I lost my pet. I didn't know how sick he was I thought he was going to be ok. I waited too long I could have done more. It's my fault he's not here anymore. I am full of guilt and regret. He loved me he trusted me and I didn't do enough to help him. I would give anything for a chance to do things differently but I can't. I have to live with this and I don't know how I'm going to do that.
You are feeling like this because you love him so much.
You did not deliberately deny him treatment, unless you are a vet or an animal expert how could you have known?
He wouldn't want you to feel this way.
Thank you for helping people trying to cope with and understand their loss.
felt like i wrote this comment, I know its my fault, i killed my best friend because im so stupid. i know its bad but i feel jealous of the guy from the Uvalde shooting who had a heart attack after his wife was shot and killed, i wish i could die. i do not deserve to eat, he doesnt get to. do not think i will ever smile again
Joseph… I am going through the same exact thing right now and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I’ve been spending the last few days searching online for answers on if I would have taken him to the vet would he still be alive. The guilt is worse than the grief. I feel responsible for his death. My cat has been sick for over a month and I thought he would heal with time. I took a 2 week vacation and left them at home with my dad. When I came back he was in way worse condition and hasn’t eaten in days. I still didn’t do anything. After a couple days I finally decided to schedule an appointment with a vet. The appointment wasn’t for another 2 weeks. I didn’t want to wait that long but I didn’t think too much of it. The same day that I scheduled the appointment, my cat walked to the door, asking to be released. I did not realize the moment I let him walk away from my sight is the moment I subconsciously made the decision to let him wander off to die. I never even got the chance to figure out what was wrong with him or see if there was a cure. Im just stuck in the unknown. All these what ifs flooding my mind. I should have gotten a kennel and taken him to the emergency vet. But I had never gone through this before and I didn’t know he was dying so soon. I didn’t know what to do. Knowing that I am not alone in this helps more than people think.
This is exactly how I feel after my puppy passed away.
I lost my pet about 36 hours ago. The guilt is the worst. she was 15 years old, her heart was failing and she was breathing hard. I took to emergency and they came and told me everything they wanted to do to get and the bill could go to $6,500 dollars by the end of Sunday. There was no way, she was 15, at the end of her natural life. I’m the one that brought up euthanasia. I feel guilt because maybe I should tried to save her and that I was the one that even brought it up. But I’ve been thinking a lot about it, I think we spend their whole lives caring for them, nourishing them, making sure they’re happy and well. And letting them die or helping them die, feels like the most un natural thing in the world.
I'm sorry for your sad news.
I also see clients who feel guilty because they have put elderly or ill animals through numerous operations, and in the end, they passed away anyway.
Guilt is a natural part of grief, and sometimes it's worse where a pet is involved because we are the ones that need to make the difficult decisions.
It sounds as though your little one lived her life surrounded by love, and I'm sure she wouldn't want you to feel so bad.
I was taking care of my 19 year old cat the best way I knew when a neighbour I barely know from down the hall started sending the most horrid rapid fire texts telling me
“No sorry....don't let her suffer Barb. It's a tough decision you are prolonging the inevitable and the vets are benefiting from your pain”...”You are not helping her by putting her through all of these tests “...”You are cruel for allowing the suffering”...”The vets don't care $$$$$$$"....”Just saying”.......”I grew up on a farm and the things we had to do and the decisions we had to make. It was painful but it was necessary”...”You know what you have to do. It's not easy it's horrible but she cannot continue being in pain and going through all of these tests and being poked and prod and that's not fair.”.... all this from a woman I barely know and does not know my cat or had even seen my cat for months. What tests is she even talking about??! She knew nothing. 🤯. All this as I am grieving. What is wrong with people like this. Now on top of my grief I was so angry, livid . Just to add poison to the situation. 🤬😱🤯😭
I had to block her to make it stop.
Everyone's comments are so raw and honest. Thank you to everyone who shared because it makes me feel less alone about my guilt. I have analyzed this every way possible. My dog got HGE from something she ate. We had been traveling for year and both very very tired. I was so tired and I had wanted a day off and I was going to take her to dog sitter. I ended up not going there and got a nice hotel, ordred thai food and got her new dog food. I mixed it with her old dog food and her new food. She ate it and we both fell asleep at 7:00pm. That night she pooped on the carpet. I was so tired. I put her in the bathroom so she can finish her business bc Iwas too tired to go downstairs and take her for a walk. I passed out again, she was still in the bathroom. I woke up, washed her in the shower and then put her in her bed and apologized for being lazy and comforted her. I cleaned the bathroom and realized that was more work than going downstairs. The next day she seemed weird. She ate a tiny piece a chicken. That was her last meal. By the evening, she was pooping bloody poop. By 1:00am she was pooping straight blood and jelly like poop. I was anxious but decided to get her ice chips and then wait until a regular vet opened up. I didn't want the emergency vet bill and I did not trust them. She was dehydrating rapidly. I went to regular vet, I kept asking for fluids and he kept talking. iwas confused, distraught, and lost. After two hours, she got subco fluids and not intravenous fluids. She did not get the proper treatment. Most pets survive HGE. We left the vet and Iwent to the beach to monitor her and chill for a second. I was lost. I felt too weak to drive. She appeared worst and frozen. She was in shock and I did not know what I was looking at. Eventually I realized she is not coming back. I set us up on the beach and she passed away in my arms. DId I let this happen? Why didn't I rush to the next ER vet. Why did I wait to take her in. She was my angel and is my soul dog. Why did I wait? I feel she did not need to die.
I'm sorry for your sad news.
You say you didn't trust the emergency vet, so if you took your little one there, and then she passed away, you would still be blaming yourself.
You clearly loved her very much and gave her a life surrounded by love ❤️
Thank you for your reply. I have thought of that too. I still did not give her a fighting chance. I didn't want her to pass away in a hopsital. And her condition has a 95% percent rate. I am a fault for the stress, the lifestyle, and then I didn't get her the proper treatment.
@@juliewood7845
I would give you the biggest, longest hug if I could. I feel your pain. I question every single choice I made in the last 8 months as our sweet 14 year old GSD declined from his IBD and potentially cancer. And when my last dog passed, I let her go naturally and continued to torture myself for not taking her to an ER vet, but it was 2 am, I was unable to drive due to medication I had taken for sleep, and the two ER vets we called never answered. I kept thinking later that I should have drove anyway! I was afraid she was scared since she hated vets, I was afraid she would soil the car. I did what I thought was best at the time. When we are shocked and worried we don't always pick the most perfect thing, but just know you did your best. We all did. Because we loved them.
My pet got sick and died recently
Every time i think about him i start crying
I feel guilty that sometimes i didnt spend more time with him
Now i wish i could turn back time to spend all the time with him
Im in grief right now Is so painful
Hey be strong.. It's painful but what can we do😭🌸they are safe in hand of God.. I too lost my cat on 7/72021.its really so painful
I feel like you do. I lost my girl a month ago, and my grief is profound. I’m sad for you x
i lost my husky drax the other day. I feel worse day by day.
@Gale so sorry for you too. I’m confused and guilty, angry then sad. And on it goes. You’re not alone x
@Gale thank you. My Dog Bella was my baby. She was born into the palm of my hand. The world just doesn’t feel right anymore. Thanks for writing back to me. I’ll send you healing through the ether if you will me. 🙏
I feel awful for scolding my cat for bad behavior throughout her life and then not taking her to the vet sooner when I noticed she was losing weight. I feel like she just didn't want to live anymore. My heart is broken and I can't stop crying everytime I see her food bowl.
I'm sure she knew that you loved her. Cat's are very resourceful, and if she felt uncared for I'm sure she would have wandered off and made herself at home somewhere else.
Be kind to yourself.
I hope you are feeling better and have peace in your heart. I believe they are in our lives to help us with our journey here, and though that journey can be rough at times, Love is eternal and Love is beyond an earthly experience. She is loving you right now... Turn your guilt into gratitude for her friendship and tap into the love she's still sending you. I'm sending you some too! Meow!
My story ,had to lose my baby yesterday , I want to die , 😫 such pain, it's so hard, crying each minute ! I feel as you described such guilt that I should have done more , I'm broken 💔 😔
@@Maddie-5 I'm with you, the pain of everyday without my furbaby is unbearable, can't stop crying. 💔 I hold my arms out to you in comfort.Bless you .
@@juliecavanagh7399 Thank you so much for the words, this is what I am feeling right now. for putting him to sleep not soon enough, for force feeding him and giving him medicine at the end when he did not want to, for not noticing him being sick sooner. My heart is aching. I put him to sleep today. Miss him so much.
I lost a cat that was abandoned in my neighborhood one week ago to a car. He showed up exactly the day before Mother's Day last year, clearly hungry and in need of help. My neighbor's cat is territorial and attacked him and I found this new cats fur on my porch from their fight. I could see him trying to eat at my neighbors house for days so I decided I needed to help him.
I started feeding him multiple times a day. He wouldn't let me pet him, but he would wait on my porch for me to feed him. When the weather got cold in November I bought him the most expensive cat shelter on Amazon, he didn't go inside but he loved to sleep under it on the heated pillow I bought, and he would relax on top of the shelter too. Finally during this month last November he let me pet him but only when he would eat, he purred when I scratched his ears and neck.
When the weather got really bad in January I begged him to come inside my house, but he refused. I lured him in twice with food but the moment I shut the door he would claw constantly to go back outside. I was scared for him all winter and would always pray for his safety.
When the weather got nice I noticed him relaxing on my porch cleaning himself, he wasn't neutered. I wanted to get him fixed but I wasn't sure how I could, as he wouldn't come in my house. Then he went missing last Friday on May 3, he was missing the next few days. Then I get the call from a neighbor on Tuesday that also fed him that he was hit and killed by a car, 51 weeks after he showed up at my house. I think he went to the main roads where there are cars because he was chasing a female.
I feel so much guilt for not just forcing him into my home to get him fixed. I also am hurt very badly because I prayed for his safety every time I saw him, and he still ended up dead. I have cried more in the past week than the past 15 years or so combined.
I'm so sorry for your distress.
You don't know for sure that he was chasing a female. Sadly cats get run over in all sorts of circumstances.
You gave him a life surrounded by love for all the time you knew him. You cared for him, you were patient with him and you loved him.
You couldn't do any more than that.
@@juliewood7845 thank you for this
I just hope so much to be reunited with him on the other side
I needed to hear this. Thank you. My dog passed away today while she was boarded when I was on vacation. I keep blaming myself for going on vacation and the animal hospital for not taking well enough care of her. It hurts so much but like you said our pets wouldn’t want us to feel this way.
My dog died 2 months ago, I saw her struggling at around 2 am and said we’d go to the vet the next day but when that day came I thought she got better and decided to just observe things for a while. She was in pain, and I told her to hang in there but I was so stupid to think she was getting better when I should’ve gone to the vet right away. Whether or not it would’ve helped her, at least it would have helped her more. I feel like by deciding to observe first, I gave up on her. I still cry about that. It was such a lesson learned the hard way. She’s the sweetest 🥺
Because we are responsible for the decisions we take for our animals we tend to feel guilty no matter what we do. Even if you had taken the decision to euthanize your little one sooner you probably would have felt guilty and wondered if you should have given her longer.
As long as you made the decision out of love you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Your dog wouldn't want you to feel bad.
I had same thing. My dog died of pancreatitis. He was only 7. Pretty sure it was the steroids he was pescribed for ear infection that caused it. Intensive care for a week and when he finally got home he died 2 days later. So many ifs and maybes. Did i cause it? Should i have took him back to vets? He died in pain and i blame myself. Il always beat myself up. I wish i just had to deal with loss instead of the extra emotions.
@@hiphoppacmotion its been 4 weeks since he died. Today is my birthday. Miss him more than ever. Especially today. Thanks for your words
I have a similar experience 😢I’m riddled with guilt
I could relate to you. My furbaby died two weeks ago. So suddenly. 💔😭
I had tests done before finallly making the right thing. Ultrasound, blood work, xray, etc. All showed she was in renal failure. Still did not accept. Then finally one Sunday morning had to bring her in. Another blood test showed off the charts. She was so ill by that time, and I could see the only thing I could do was to let her go. That was 3 weeks ago, and I'm in such emotional and physical pain. I was not a day without her for 14 years, never left her for any length of time outside of a few hours. And even then feel guilty for that. She was such a big part of my life. She made it into her 15 year, a long life after serious health issue, herniated disc requiring extensive surgery at 7 years old, giving her 7 more years. I was with her until the final moment, ensuring she heard my voice and that she knew she was loved until she passed over. Still, the pain of this loss will take a very long time. I've been through it before as a young widow 20 years ago. Now at 77, I look forward to crossing over myself one day to see her and my late husband again.
You clearly loved her very much and did everything you could.
It's possible that the grief from your little one is bringing back grief from the past too.
You might find this video useful. I hope they help. th-cam.com/video/TXx92KtY9pY/w-d-xo.htmlsi=4HM504sbMWn2DXN8
thank you for this. the guilt, self-blame, and questions that can never be answered in this life have been weighing so heavily on me since my special girl Agnes, one of my hens, passed suddenly and without warning. i keep thinking if i hadn’t slept in so late, if i had went outside to check on her one second sooner, if i had done one thing different, she might still be here. not knowing why or how she died makes it so much more painful because i can’t rationalize, and it feels so senseless and preventable. she was my best friend. i would do anything to bring her back. finding her and making desperate attempts to bring her back traumatized me without a doubt. i love her so much. our family will never be the same with her gone. it just hurts so much. i wish i didn’t blame myself and i wish i didn’t feel this guilt. everyone keeps telling me it wasn’t my fault but i can’t shake the feeling, the what ifs and the unanswered questions. i would have done anything for her. i’ve been through so many life-ruining, terrifying, disturbing, traumatizing things in this life but nothing has broken my heart like this. i will love that bird forever 🤍
and i feel so guilty that i wasn’t by her side when she passed. i know she wouldn’t want me to feel this way but the feeling is so pervasive and the pain runs so deep. my parents were abusive and didn’t get our pets adequate vet care growing up, so my animals were my best friends, and every time i lost one, especially if i felt like something could have been done, it crushed my world and traumatized me. i know i carry that into adulthood when it comes to pet loss. me and my partner have been together for ten years and we had our chickens for four of those years. this is the first loss we’ve had together. they were like our babies. its like we’ve lost a child, even though most people would call that silly. i keep feeling like if i had done one small thing different she could still be here, happy and foraging in the yard, sun bathing and spending time with her sisters, sitting in my lap and being loved on. the hurt is so overwhelming. its worse than anything i’ve ever felt. the grief would be too much to bear on its own, but the guilt that comes with it makes it immeasurably worse.
@harlancarroll114 Sorry to read of the sad news about Agnes. It's possible that her death has brought back feelings from the past that you thought you had come to terms with. (For instance, perhaps if you were determined to look after your animals better than your parents looked after their's, and now you feel you haven't.)
It's important to know, too, that an animal's instinct is often to die on their own. This is an evolutionary thing. Sometimes, if they are unwell they will go off and hide, but sometimes, they just wait until they are by themselves to pass away.
Agnes will have known she was loved.
My pet is currently on the vet now. I can’t get myself to see him again but my family are with him. I sat with him outside earlier today and he just laid there. I could tell in his eyes he was going to die and I cried to my parents but they said he wouldn’t. I wish I didn’t yell at him for barking at nothing, or for eating all the food he could find. I’d do anything to go back. I miss you Luca, I’ll forever love you.
We often have regrets when our pet dies. We wish we could go back and change things.
Luca would have known how much you loved him.
The veterinarian clinic overdosed my dog with a sedative and he had a Cardiac Arrest while I was in the room. I heard his little heart blow into pieces Inside his chest . His legs extended and his body turned and sat part way up. I was so upset and now traumatized. I can't stop thinking about my little 30 pound dog Buddy. My emotional support dog. I had him 3 years , not long enuf to love him. Heartbreaking beyond words 💔
That must be traumatic for you. Buddy would have known how much you loved him. You could not have known what was going to happen at the Veterinary Clinic.
When you think of him, remember the good times you had together. You gave him a life surrounded by love ❤️
Mine is “Why did I leave for a New Year’s Eve trip and leave him?” So much guilt. That was 2 days ago. In 2016 I lost my 14 yr old pup and this pup who just passed helped me through that. I had 15 months of therapy. Over my pup. Now I’m devastated. He was 16. That’s a long time.
That is a long time, and a lot of love.
You could not have known what was going to happen.
If he helped you with the passing of your earlier pup, he wouldn't want you to feel that sort of pain for him.
I lost my best friend this afternoon, she was 16 and had dementia and some other health issues, she wasn't herself for a while. I had a vet and nurse come to my home and l held her while they administered the medication. She went peacefully but l am wracked with grief and guilt, l feel l should have done more. She was the best dog/friend anyone could wish for, she was always there for me and loved me unconditionally, she was an angel. I honestly didnt deserve her 😔. Im burying her in the garden in the morning 😢. I will save this and do the tapping, thank you 😭 x
I'm sorry for your sad news.
You obviously loved her very much and did the kindest thing for her, even though it was a difficult thing for you.
I hope you don't mind if I make a suggestion?
If you haven't already, snip a little bit of her fur off to keep. If you ever have to move house you will need to leave her iin the garden, but at least you'll have something to take with you, along with your memories.
@@juliewood7845 thank you for the suggestion, l will do that. I've taken a paw print 🐾 ❤️
My dog died yesterday while I working and I can't stop crying, I can't shake the guilt of him dying suddenly and alone. I will miss him every day and I will regret not being there in his final moments. I will always love you Frosty and I will miss you always.
I'm sorry to read about Frosty.
You said his death was sudden, so you could not have known what was going to happen.
You clearly loved him very much, and I expect he had a lovely life. I'm sure he would not want you to blame yourself.
@@juliewood7845 Thank you, I think what bothers me most is that he died alone. That really breaks my heart, but there's not much I can do about it. I will try to remember him in a positive light.
I'm feeling immense guilt for not being there for my JoJo. We took her to the vet expecting her to come home. She would have to spend the night at the vet while they gave her medicine and to be monitored. The next day she wasn't better but not worse and the vet wanted to try and take fluid off from around her lungs. She died shortly after the procedure and I never got to see her and or let her know I didn't abandon her, she passed away before I could get there in that strange place surrounded by strange animals and people. I was fully expecting to take her home after the procedure or at least see her. I feel like I let her down and can't shake the guilt. It's tearing me apart inside for 4 almost 5 weeks now since she passed.
It sounds as though Jo Jo lived a life surrounded by love.
She would have known that she wasn't abandoned.
Be kind to yourself. Jo Jo would not want you to feel like this. You made the best decisions that you could at the time.
Thank you.
@@juliewood7845 My cats name is also jojo. I put her to sleep yesterday June, 20 2022. I took her in to have fluid removed from her lungs so she could breathe. It was not my plan to put her to sleep. While there the vet told me they think it's best to put her down because she was loosing weight, not eating. She was dehydrated also. I didn't want to make the decision. It felt so sudden. Like I ambushed her and myself. I decided to let her go but the process felt long because she fought the drugs. I feel devastated. I'm regretful, I feel guilty and I'm totally heart broken. I stayed with her till the very end because I wanted her to feel my presence, my love for her. Finding this post makes me feel like jojo is communicating with me to say I made the best decision I could. The guilt is still here, the sadness immense, but i believe I was meant to see this post. I love you Jojo, and I will continue to honor your memory ♥.
I'm so sorry for your lost. The pain is unbearable but I hope you've managed to find some peace.
@@memimc86 sorry for your sad news. Jojo would have known that you loved her. You didn't ambush her, you releases her from suffering. Xx.
I lost two cats in the last three weeks, one week apart, and my heart hurts. I feel so guilty knowing that I was the one who made the decision to put them to sleep.
I'm sorry for your sad news.
Guilt is a natural part of grief, and where we have to make difficult decisions, it can feel even worse.
We often doubt ourselves and wonder if we could have done something different.
As long as you loved your little ones, that's the most important thing.
They would have known that.
My guilt is so heavy because of an accident cost my cat Amber her life. Even though everyone says it was an accident. It doesn't make the guilt go away it hurts so much that she died because of a stupid mistake.
Guilt is often a part of grieving for a pet that we loved. Amber wouldn't want you to feel so bad. It sounds like you loved her very much xx.
My dog passed today and i honestly can't get the image out of my head of her small defenceless body shutting off and being buried
It's so sad when our pets die. Unfortunately it's a natural part of grief to focus on the final moments during the early stages.
As time goes on you will be able to think about the happier times.
A good way to get yourself into that headspace is to make an album (or create a screen saver) of photos of your dog during happier times and celebrate her life.
I hope this helps. X.
It's same for me today 😭😭 her eyes was so beautiful, she was looking at me while dying. I can't handle the pain. She is in my mind all the time ❤️❤️ her name is jimmie
@@fighterinmkiwiscience3517 she got all the love a doggie could get. im sorry for ur loss
@@Alex-jv4hd she was only 3 month old we were getting treatment of parvo virus but it was unsuccessful 😭😭
Thank God I found your video. I suddenly lost one of my 15-month-old kittens today. We don’t know what happened yet. He was fine at dinner but just 3 hours later I found him gone. No sign of illness or injury. I am shattered.
Right away your kind, calm, and soothing voice brought reassurance to my broken heart, so I stayed to watch the video in full and do the exercises. I’m very glad I did because the exercises did help enough that I am at least feeling less helplessness and panic. I’ll be repeating the exercises often as I grieve, I’m sure.
I don’t know if you’ll ever see this comment, but I wanted to offer my sincerest gratitude. 🤍
I'm glad it helped a little. Be kind to yourself.
Kuki, I love you so much. I hope you forgive me for the things I wasn't able to do, and the things I did that caused you pain. I miss you every single second of everyday. I will see you again when it is time.
Thanks for this it was really helpful. My cat swiper died this morning. I sat with her by the fire the last 3 nights and this morning got up early as heard her miowing. I sat with her rubbing her and she died at 12 o clock. I've been so sad and wished I spent that time with her when she was healthy and well. She was 14 and a few years ago started wandering off when we got a second cat. She would always return but 6 months ago I noticed she had lumps on her stomach so brought her to the vet and she had surgery for cancer which came back.
I feel so guilty as I often left her out in the shed and wouldn't always let her in as she tended to jump up on the counter to pee but in the last few months she slept in the back hall. She went down so quickly in last few days and I wish I'd known last week was her last Week and I feel guilty for not being kinder and rubbing her more as she purred so loudly when rubbed. I'd do anything to go back in time and give her more love instead of often putting her outside 😔💔
Sorry for your sad news. I'm sure she would not want to feel regrets, but to remember the happy times you had with her. You were with her to comfort her at the end. She will have known you loved her.
@@juliewood7845 thank you 🥰 I will miss her and I'm so glad I had the last days with her. Thanks for the video it's helping so many people x
You hit every point about euthanizing my cat Margarita. I am racked with guilt, thinking it could have been different or I should given her a chance to get better. This video has really helped me. I have cried everyday multiple times a day since this past Monday. I try to tell myself that even if I made the “wrong” decision euthanizing her, she is with God or at peace. It is just so difficult. The missing her, the regret. Thank you for helping me to have a health way to cope and heal.
I'm glad the video helped you, and I'm sorry for your sad news xx.
Feel the same way. I just put down my little buddy Snowball yesterday and I have been asking myself did I do the right thing or could I have done more for her.
The day i buried my baby i buried everything that gave life joy.
Remember the joy they gave you. I'm sure you wouldn't have missed out on that for the world. Sending you all the strength you must need.
Losing someone you love is painful and losing someone coz of your mistake is terribly shattering into pieces. I took my cat Lucky to a vet due to her abnormal breathing. Though she was eating and moving around. The vet said she's got severe lung congestion. Lucky was difficult to be handled by anyone, wouldn't let anyone touch her. The vet and 3 other staff kept holding her from all sides for blood test. She struggled. After the reports he decided to give 3 injections. Again they all held her from all sides she fought she struggled. After the first injection she couldn't take this fight further and gave up. I lost her. I am now living in guilt, under depression that why didn't I stopped them, why didn't I take her to better place, why didn't I opened my mouth and said that stop this. Her eyes and her struggle is horrifying my days and nights. I'm losing my mind. This guilt makes me feel I'm good for nothing. I could have saved her. My silly mistake caused her life. This is end of my happiness...nothing makes me happy now. Just 3 days passed and I feel I was better off dead.
I'm so sorry for your sad news.
You clearly loved your cat very much. You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. You took the advice of the vets, and have nothing to blame yourself for.
Be kind to yourself.
It was not your fault. She probably might of struggled with any vet . I hope your feeling better now .
I just found out my dog was shot. And I feel so guilty about it. My dog was causing problems at my house, she kept jumping over the fence to the neighbors so we got in trouble by our landlord and had to make the difficult decision to rehome her. My parents volunteered to take her that way she was still close and not with a stranger. The other day I went to visit my parents and my dog wasn’t there. I asked where she was and they said she bit my dad and was attacking my parents dogs so they gave her to a ‘family friend’ with a farm a week prior. Something wasn’t sitting right with me, I felt terrible about it and was scared she wasn’t being treated correctly. And I wondered why they wouldn’t tell me before they rehomed her. One day something told me something was wrong so I made my mom tell me what really happened. She told me that her neighbors shot my poor dog because she kept going to their property. She didn’t deserve that. I shouldn’t have given her up. I can’t deal with the guilt and how terrible I feel for her
Hi. You could not possibly have known that this was going to happen. You thought you were doing the kindest thing by letting your parents have her. You are not responsible for her death. It's natural to grieve but please don't blame yourself.
Always thinking ..if only I'd done this or that ..yes grief can be overwhelming
Leo knew you loved him, so did Panda. Xx.
I had to put my dog to sleep on Monday. I'm overwhelmed with guilt and grief. I loved him so much. I'm heart broken 💔😭
That's so sad. He must have had a wonderful life, because you loved him so much. He wouldn't want you to feel so bad. Guilt is a natural part of grief, especially when we have to take difficult decisions.
I did the same on Tuesday, and feel like you do.
Today a week ago my 17 yr old poodle passed on and I felt guilty because I couldn't help her,
I am disturbed due to the way she died
CF, I'm sorry I missed your comments. That's so sad about your poodle. I hope some of the videos have helped.
I miss my little girl Lily. She was my world, my little baby. She was so brave and I am so proud of her. I feel immense guilt for not seeing the signs of her health but she loved and loved and loved, even through the pain. She taught me something even on her last breath, to keep fighting for those you love. It’s been 4 days and my world just feels dark without her shining eyes. Thank you for this video, I feel some peace knowing others understand this pain.
She will have known you loved her too.
We had a wonderful girl. She was the sweetest soul. After lockdown we had to work extremely long days, we were away from home for 13 hours a day. I got a puppy to keep her company in those long lonely hours we were not there. I thought I was doing good. She hated the puppy. Suddenly she had to share our love and attention and time. No more tug of war, puppy is too strong. No more fetch, puppy is faster. No more quality time, every minute is split between her and puppy. By the time we realised she is not doing well mentally, the damage was done. Two years after we got the puppy, our girl passed away a depressed, sad, unhappy girl, thinking mom and dad abandoned her for another dog. I still hate myself for not seeing it. I cry every night, my heart is shattered and the guilt is all-consuming.
I'm sorry for your sad news. You did what you thought was the best thing at the time. Your sweet girl would have known how much you loved her. She would probably hate to think of you having so many regrets.
@juliewood7845 Thank you for your kind words. It doesn't take the pain away, but it does make it a bit easier.
Through my many losses, guilt is a huge factor but you have to remember your actions came from a place of love.
Her soul is in a place of pure love.
Remember the joyful happy times you had with her & it will bring her close into your heart & soul.
Thank you for this! I lost my bunny some time ago. She was the most innocent looking, beautiful angel on this planet. And I let her down. I noticed she was breathing differently after her operation, but tought that it might have been like that before. Looking back it was an obvious sign of pain in a rabbit. I didn't take her to the vet. If I could go back in time, I would do everything differently. My main worry is that she was in pain for a long time. She died almost a month after her operation. Her tummy hadn't started working, I think. I should have ended her suffering. I feel so bad, like I am just a bad person that doesn't deserve anything. I try to deal with the overwhelming guilt and get better.
I'm sorry for your sad news. We often feel guilty and regret the things we did or didn't do when our little ones pass away.
Unless you have veterinary training, you would not have known if her breathing was a sign of pain. It's not your fault.
She would have known how much you loved her, and that's the most important thing.
Thank you. My cat was hit and killed by a car last night. I’m moving and the fencing that protected her from going in the street was taken down. I’ve been feeling so guilty for letting my friend take it down before relocating my cats to their new home. It’s my job to protect my animals and I let her down.
Please don't think that. You could not have known what was going to happen.
Hi Sonja. I'm so sorry. The same thing happened with my cat one week ago. She was blind and had been accidentally locked out of the house for the night. She unknowingly wandered into the street where she was killed by a car. I'm devastated.
@@sunshine9122 Make sure you allow yourself to grieve. It's such a tough time when this happens.
My dog, Fiona. She died December 2021 and I feel awful. I left my dog on my bed for a little bit, and I came back down stairs to get her and I saw that she had pooped on my bed. I scolded her, and when I tried to get her off the bed, her back legs wouldn't work. Worst part out this, is she looked terrified and just extremely sad when I scolded her. I can't this dogs look out of my mind. She died less then 4 hours later.
I feel terrible because Fiona was always there for me during the pandemic. I struggle with mental health and the pandemic really hit hard, but she was always there to keep me going. I was working online for a while, so I would play with her as I worked and she would always walk onto my desk, sit with me, play with me and just... be my pal when nobody else was. Except, when I went back to in person work, she was in her crate most of the day and when I came home, I was exhausted and didn't give her as much attention as she needed.
I want to give her the love and affection she deserves but I can't do that when she's been cremated. I can't, I just can't.
it's been almost 2 months at this point, and I still feel as sad as I felt when she first died. I feel guilty I couldn't be there for her, even in her last days, and that I couldn't do anything to prevent her painful demise. I at least wish I could've known she was in pain, so I could've at least helped her.
R.I.P. Fiona (2017 - 2021)
Fly high, little angel.
It's natural to blame yourself. Guilt is part of grief, especially when we are grieving for animals. It sounds as though Fiona lived a life surrounded by love. Focus on that. You made her life better by being in it.
My baby died on Dec 24th, a day before my birthday, and we'd been though a lot together too. My guilt is infinate.
I can't seem to get over my guilt, and sometimes it's blame. 1st is was everyone else's fault, then mine, then I think I've made my peace with it, and something triggers me. I've been up 2 days straight going over what I fed him because I learned a certain food ingredient leads to cancer. I went though receipts and pictures and called people to try to figure out what I was feeding him before he got sick. Why can't I just remember? Before that, I went though all his medical records to ascertain if any medication caused it. I even had a meltdown once, thinking it was the water I gave him. It feels never ending.
He was so precious, so beautiful. Why didn't I take better care of him? I just got a new cat. She's feral like my precious Bugz was, before I tamed him. She hates me. Lol. She's coming around. But, I'm a master sergeant when it comes to her nutrition, as I don't want her to get cancer like Bugzie got. She only gets fed the best foods and at certain times. And I think, why didn't I do this for Bugz? Did I do this for Bugz? I seem to have blocked out so much.
I also think, why didn't I do more research on nutrition? I know I did some stuff, but it wasn't enough, as he died.
He was everything to me, and I was SO protective of him. Why didn't I know a food additive causes cancer?? It's all over the internet. I'm stupid and lazy, and while I loved him more than life itself, he deserved better than me.
Thanks for letting me rant. It's like, afterwards, you are enlightened as to everything you should've done. And, his death was so recent, I can almost touch him and fix it. But, no, I can't. Now, I can't.
Hi. Guilt is a natural part of grief, and so is searching for answers. You clearly loved your little one. If you are not a vet or a food scientist it's unlikely you will ever know the cause of the cancer, and sometimes not knowing makes the feeling worse.
It makes us doubt ourselves.
It's wonderful that you have room in your heart for another cat. Make sure you enjoy your life together instead of being consumed by fear of their death.
Take care.
Gosh I know exactly how you feel, why I'm here searching how to deal with guikt and regret...its like a cancer eating away at you...and worst part for me is I'm a vet technician worked with animals for over a decade and I know lots of vets I could've called at wee hours of the morning when my baby wasn't breathing well tongue turning blue...but I sat and thought it's too late no one will answer and no one will see her...i.presumed my child to death...
She had chronic bronchitis and always would cough and it'll ease up...thought u would be lucky and it'll be one of those episodes but it wasn't it was the end...I had the power to Make the call and perhaps extend her life a bit longer and ease the suffering but I made a wrong judgment and now I'm.in pieces...had her for 12 yrs and I loved her with every bit of me....but yet I failed her...the feeling of grief mixed with regret is a killer potion I am praying for strength
My beautiful Boxer developed Kidney disease and lost 15 pounds in 8 days. She was wasting away before my eyes. Even then she tried to show her love and affection for me. I was on a fixed income and couldn't afford the $1833.00 just to tell me what was wrong. I finally found a very generous Vet that checked my dog out for no cost. But it was bad news and my baby was suffering bad. Starving and would not eat. The vet said she could not be saved. She was dying a painful death. She said the best I could do for the love of my dog was to end her pain. I agreed but cried my ass off. My beautiful Female boxer was my best friend and loving loyal companion. I feel so guilty for agreeing to kill her. I don't know if I can forgive myself. I hope God does.
As long as you did out of love - and it sounds like you did (to end her suffering) she would understand, and so would God.
I commented on here 5 months ago when Bully passed. Thank you, Julie, for your encouraging words. It still hurts to know that he's gone but I believe he's in a better place now and I have genuine peace :)
I'm glad it helped a little.
I feel so bad that he passed away alone in the front room. He look at me when I called him so I went back to bed. He died couple of hours later. I wish I would have gone downstairs & laid with him. We knew he was sick he had been throwing up not eating except grass when he went outside. Harley was 13 golden retriever, in February we were going to do a home Euthanasia but it was too hard, I will never get over the loss of our Harley…🐾💔🐾
I'm so sorry to read about Harley.
Pets often wait until they are alone before taking their last breath. It's believed to be an inherited behaviour from their ancestors who lived in the wild. It seems strange to us now, as our instinct is to provide comfort during the final moments of life.
I'm sure Harley knew you loved him.
I had lost my three kitten just by today morning, I was crying hardly. It feels like killing me. Street dogs killed my kittens, just 3 three week born ago. 2 kittens body we found and done all the necessary but the 3rd one we couldn't find still and we don't know where it is. The kitten's mother cat seeing the dead kitten's body..... It really killed me seeing at that moment. I feel to write to overcome this incident. But I didn't. Three kitten lost their life today by morning 7am they were so hungry yesterday night without knowing this the last milk that they tasted. I MISS YOU MY LOVES
Sending you strength at this difficult time. You obviously cared a great deal for them.
Even though they had a short life, you made sure they knew what it was to be loved and cared for.
My 1.5 year old dog just passed away and I’m so much in pain right now😢 I don’t know how to handle this feeling. I can’t eat, do my regular exercise, take a bath and even sleep enough. I feel guilty because it’s because of me she suffers a lot. I brought her to the vet after the day she got seizures because of many internal problems and it’s so painful because she didn’t shows any signs that she’s not ok. She’s still young and I can’t accept that she’s gone now. She’s the sweetest. I don’t know what to do right now. I want to hug and talk to her and say how much I love her. Although I always say that when she’s alive. I just want to have amnesia right now jusy to stop thinking her😢😢😢
Because I love Luchi so much, I can’t resist when she ask food while I’m eating and giving her small amount of table food. The guilt I feel is so strong. I spent a lot on the vet clinic but still she’s not here anymore. I feel that I’m the reason why she suffers kidney problem. I feel crazy thinking everything, I just want to sleep to forget the pain but I can’t get enough sleep. I still think of her everytime I get a snap😢😢😢
I'm sorry for the sad news about your little one. Please don't blame yourself. We do what we think is best at the time. She lived her life surrounded by love, and she would have known how much you cared for her.
@@juliewood7845 thank you for your kind words but I still don’t know how to bear this pain I feel 😔😢 I super miss her 😔
i hope i get over the pain of guilt and thoughts that my pet bird hate me , and i keep thinking that my care wasn't enough, I'll see your videos and they are so helpful thank you so much ❤
You clearly loved your bird very much, and I'm sure they knew that.
@@juliewood7845 you really helped me go through this 🤍 you are the most wonderful and authentic person i hope all the best to you now , now i don't have these crazy thoughts and no mental breakdowns 🤍🥺 such a nice person
My 3yo rabbit died 2 weeks ago, he was like a son for me. Has been really though since he used to be free in the house and garden. I just walked where he used to have his bed and I could't stop crying. I took him to the vet too late, I told my family that he looked lil suspicious and they thought I was just overreacting. Now I feel guilty of listened to them instead of listening my instincs and haven't stopped crying since he died. Thank you so much for your video
I'm so sorry for your sad news. Please don't blame yourself. He clearly lived a life surrounded by love.
My kitten died yesterday she was in so much pain she got sick yesterday morning my parents weren't home and I called the vet and they said to bring her as soon as possible I told them that my parents weren't home they asked me that they'd send a taxi yet I was afraid to go alone I'm ashamed of myself as a 21 years old I saw her struggle for 8hours and when my parents prepared to go to the vet she passed away I feel guilty for not taking the taxi it's hard to imagine a day without her i'm afraid that my anxiety will increase again she was my best friend she was the kindest and cutest kitten I've ever met I will never find other like her she used put her head on my chest now I feel so cold and lonely she was the queen of our house shade everyone laugh my little Minerva she deserves the best life I wish her the best beautiful and a healthy life in her next life. Baby , you're always my sunshine and my best friend and I hope you can forgive me. I love you forever ❤
Sorry to hear your sad news. You clearly loved your kitten very much and she wouldn't want you to feel sad now.
I feel guilty because she got stung by a bee. And I thought she’ll be ok. When I got home she was not ok. She was 7 1/2 and I thought I’d have at least 5 more years with her. She was my favorite pet I’ve had. I know it will get better but I can’t imagine getting another dog again 😢
I'm so sorry to read that. You could not have known that the bee sting would have affected her that way. You must not blame yourself. She clearly had a lot of love from you during her life.
Why does this work??? I tried your tapping technique and followed along with you in the video and it really helped. THANK YOU!!!!
It works in a similar way to acupuncture, but without the needles.
I'm glad it helped.
My turtle just passed yesterday at 12 years old because she wasn’t eating the right things, I don’t know how I’m I supposed to live with this feeling for the rest of my life 😢
I'm sorry for your sad news. I'm sure if you'd have known, you would have changed her food. You clearly loved her. That's why you feel so bad. Take comfort from knowing she lived her life surrounded by love.
@@juliewood7845 ty so much for making me feel i little bit better :,)
my kitten died days ago, i feel guilty everytime i remember his cute furry face and his blue eyes. i treated him like a son. i wish i could bring back time and take him to the vet. i wish i studied more about adopting cat. it feels like im the one who bring him to his death. everytime i watch his video the moment he step in to my apartment is the moment i drive him to his death. it hurt so much seeing his lifeless face that once the cutest face i ever saw.. i regret it when i didn't play with him when he wanted to play. i regret it not taking him to the vet but instead playing my online games. i wasted so much time. i really miss my baby Elso! 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔
It is usual to feel guilt and regret when our beloved animals pass away. We often wonder if we could have done things differently. You clearly loved your little one dearly, and I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be sad.
I feel really guilty because my cat had cancer and he had days where he was fine and days when he wasn’t. On his last day he was sick like he had been in the past. Usually he would vomit and then he would be fine the next day. I tried to get him to vomit by giving him cat laxatives. He got sicker during the day. When he was starting to lay down about to pass I panicked and picked him up roughly. I was holding him and he urinated on me. He stopped breathing and we hopped in the car to go to the vet. I held him the entire way. I feel guilty because he was in pain. I wish i could have had him put down peacefully.
It's very difficult when our pets are ill and we don't know what to do for the best. Sometimes we act in panic or lose patience.
You obviously loved him very much (or you wouldn't be upset).
Take comfort that he lived his life full of love.
My beloved dog just died yesterday and I am feeling guilty guilty and guilty. I was not there by his side at the hospital when he was dying. Because the hospital do not let the pet owner to stay beside the pet during 6pm to 9 am. I had to go back to my home and my dog started suffering at 1 am and he died at around 3 am. I could not go to hospital because there is a Martial Law (during 10 pm to 4am) in my country. When I arrived to hospital at 4:30, he’s already gone. I didn’t think there is another way that I could wait outside the hospital the whole night. I have to live with feeling of guilty throughout my whole life. I don’t want to live anymore and I don’t want to love and pet other dogs. I love dogs because of my dog. I made the wrong decision. It was my fault that I leave him alone at the hospital. I hate myself.
I'm sorry to read about your dog. It is not your fault you were unable to be with him at that time. He would have known that you loved him. (If you didn't, you wouldn't feel so bad.)
You can't control the marshal law, or when you can visit the vets. It's likely he wasn't aware of very much at the end. It sounds like he had a life surrounded by love, and that was due to you.
@@juliewood7845 thank you for your reply. It helps me a lot.
My 3 lil yorkies a couple of weeks ago. And am devestated
I'm sorry to hear about your sad news. Allow yourself some time to grieve if you can.
My bulldog had bladder stone surgery she came thru surgery I was concerned about having to put her to sleep.vet wanted to keep her for couple more days but we ran out of money and brought her home. Her heart gave out 4 hours later.im sick with guilt. Only thing I can think is at least she was home
I'm sorry for your sad news.
We can only do the best we are able to do at the time. You clearly loved her, and she would have known that.
I promised myself I won't cry. I kept my promise. I was very sad, but my bird used to jump and go around me when it saw me cry. I wanted him to rest. That is why I didn't show my emotions. I feel guilty for not crying when it died next to me...
He wouldn't want you to feel guilty. He would know you loved him whether you showed your emotions or not - however, supressing them is not a good thing. They usually find a way out some how. xx.
@@juliewood7845 Thank you for helping me get over it. I appreciate it a lot!🥲
I have a Facebook group, if anyone would like to join, to help support each other.
Please remember to answer the questions so I know you're not a bot.
facebook.com/groups/1241615752875124/?ref=share
My cat was my little companion. He always followed me around and reminded me of a dog almost. He lost so much weight all of a sudden so we took him to the vet. Turns out something was in his stomach. My girlfriend and I took it upon ourselves to try some natural remedies for hairballs and worms. We didn’t get the ultrasound that the vet recommended, to truly know what was going on, and before he could make it to the next vet appointment he died painfully at home😢. It’s been so tough to deal with this but I definitely learned a lot from the whole thing.
I'm sure you took the decisions that you did because you loved him. You did what you thought was in his best interests.
I lost my cat last night, she was too young to die, she was just year old. She vomited two days before her death and I didn't took it to mind cause it wasn't foreign of her. She always went hunting in our backyard and eat this leaves and other tiny bugs and vomit or sometimes tiny hairballs. Yesterday she went out for her usual evening walk and took hours to get home. It was almost 8pm when she came back and it was raining heavily. She was kinda shivering and her legs were wobbly and I found it really strange because she loves going out in the rain and always looked very energetic. I wrapped her with a towel and started wiping her fur and strangely she was all cuddled up on my lap and literally crying. I was having dinner at the time and I told her I will take her to vet once I finished the meal. Once I finished it I saw that she was sleeping and the vet was quite a few miles away from us since we are in the countryside, I made an appointment to the next morning. However at about 9.30, my baby started meowing and vomiting and was in extreme pain. I tried to take her to a vet but since we a far away the hospital would be closed by the time we get there. So I just stayed by her side while comforting her. She was in extreme pain and was having trouble breathing. At 11 she vomited blood and had a horrible seizure where knocked her head on the marble floor quite a few time before finally passing away. Her vet instructed me through the phone to give her cpr and for some reason I refused to do it. I was total mess and now I regret all my decisions. I should have taken my baby to the vet the moment she came home- no I should have taken her to the vet the day she started throwing up. I should have given her cpr to try and give her a second chance in life, but I didn't. The guilt is too much. It is eating me alive. I have no body to tell how I feel now. My parents think I'm overreacting and keep bringing me even more down telling me an adult shouldn't be crying our an animal like this. I swear to god the guilt I'm feeling right now is killing me slowly and painfully. My Grace baby gave me a horrible punishment for my reckless behaviour.
I'm so sorry about your traumatic experience, and about the death of your little one.
You could not possibly have known what was going to happen. Perhaps in your heart you didn't want to prolong her suffering, and that's why you didn't do the CPR. If your vet had been there and seen your little one they might have taken the same decision too.
Your little kitten lived her life surrounded by love, and you were able to comfort her at the end.
She didn't run away and hide, she came to you and you cuddled her and loved her until the end of her life.
You can grieve for an animal at any age. Don't let anyone make you feel that your emotions are not valid.
I lost my baby 1month ago, I cry for her every day 😢 I know how difficult it is ,the pain is unbearable, our pets are all special .....find strength in knowing you gave all your love and care ❤
I feel you 💔😭
My dogs paw is bothering him and so I made an appointment for him. At the same day, I also made plans with a friend. I decided to cancel the vet and go with my friend. Now when I tried to schedule and appointment, I have to wait weeks for an opening. I don’t want him to suffer and I feel really bad for not just pushing the thing with my friend. And I overall feel like my family doesn’t put the energy that I do into taking care of him. I feel really bad and now I have to wait for an appointment.
Yes, the guilt and the what if's. I miss her oh so much! Buddy too! The two greatest loves of my life!! ❤️ ❤️
I felt terribly guilty over my cat,who died recently.for not noticing her suffering sooner.I felt guilty because i saw her hiding at the corner while looking depressed and her poop all over her halfbody so i decided to wash him a cold water.and buy her something that she wants to eat.but just when i thought she is getting better i found her rapidly breathing and not moving under my bed in the morning while her eyes were open.i am so depressed that i thought i would die..please someone help me how can i get over with this.i think she dies because i wash half of her body even though i know she's having a diarrhea..help it's too painful I love that cat so much and i can't sleep thinking about her.i can't even openly breakdown my emotions here because someone might think im insane.im dying inside..it so painfulll.helpp😭😭😭😭😭
You mustn't blame yourself. You couldn't leave her with all the poop on her. You did what you thought was the best for her at the time.
You even bought her something to special to encourage her to eat.
She would have known how much you loved her.
I feel so guilty too, when the decision was made due to a tumour, I wonder if I should have let her go , I cry for her every day, but I know she was ill, stopped eating and drinking.....my heart is shattered, I miss my fur baby so much 😢 💔
@@terrikietzmann3684 you didn't want her to suffer. That is an act of love ❤️ Euthanasia is not something we do TO our fur babies, it's something we do FOR them. As long as your decision was made out of love you have nothing to feel bad about.
You will always miss her, but as time passes you will remember the happier times.
I left my senior dog at home when I went to visit my daughter gif a week. She stayed home with my roommate and her dog who was her playmate, so I figured she would be fine. Apparently she cried a lot, and I decided next trip I would bring her. She died from heart failure 2 days after I got back. I keep wondering if the stress of me being gone is what did it. Realistically she was elderly and had a good life and it was probably her time to go, but the guilt still haunts me.
Sorry for your sad news. We always wonder if making a different decision would have made a difference. In your heart of hearts you know it probably wouldn't have, and she would have known that you loved her very much.
Thank you ❤ Blessings from Germany
I lost my precious cat three days ago, she was 15 years old. I feel so guilty because I didn't take her to the vet sooner, I knew she may have problems with her kidney, but I didn't do anything until it was too late, she has always been very skinny and I thought she could resist a little more, but she was dehydrated and too skinny, it was horrible all the situation, she didn't eat much so my mom and I use to give her the food with an syringe the last month. She was so weak, even if she drink water a lot, all her life, and I thought she wouldn't resist, it was Sunday so on Monday I took her to the vet, and she resist 4 more days, but she was entering to the stage 4 of an kidney illness according to all the exams and things the vets did to her... this feels like a nightmare, is like I can't accept she is gone and I didn't do enough to save her or to prevent her illness, is so horrible.
I'm sorry for your sad news.
You obviously cared very deeply for your cat. You took the time and care to feed her with a syringe.
Even if you had put her through more tests and procedures, she may not have survived.
It sounds as though she lived her life surrounded by love, and she wouldn't want you to feel guilty.
We've been nursing a 1-month old kitten. He has a special condition wherein he has no control over his front and rear legs (paralysis symptoms). Dragging his body, inability to move all legs. It has been our routine to provide him with the proper care, and lots of love and attention so that he can still live a long and happy life. I am so traumatized and devastated as we lost him yesterday due to a possible heart failure. I can still remember his eyes looking at me as he struggled to breathe. From time to time, tears will come out of my eyes. I feel so drained and depressed. I can't stop but the blame on myself thinking that I should have done more to extend his life. 😭😭😭💔💔💔
You gave that little kitten so much love in his short life.
You filled his little heart with love and that's the most you could have done. Although you felt helpless at the end you were there when he needed you.
Guilt is a natural reaction to loss.
Please don't blame yourself.
I lost my cat a few days back, he was about to turn 1 and i can’t stop blaming myself. He used to scream alot at night so I opened the door for him to roam around for a while he didn’t come back but i wasn’t worried as he usually comes back in a day or two, but this time we found him dead in front of my apartment and i can’t stop blaming myself. My chest feels so heavy everytime I think about it… if I hadn’t open the door for him to go out he would’ve been alive
You were not to know. You thought your cat would be unhappy if you kept him locked in. Please don't blame yourself. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to.
The guilt is eating me up. So many regrets
Guilt is a natural part of grief. We often wonder if we could have done things differently.
I'm sure your little one wouldn't want you to feel so bad.
@@juliewood7845 everyone keeps saying "don't beat yourself up" as though I have control over intrusive thoughts. A dear friend gave great advice: "Have a conversation with that voice, the one that doubts the choice you made. Explain to them that we would not choose to harm those we love and that we did what we did out of love." I suspect the voice that doubts is little me, the hurt child that clings to what feels good at any cost. I understand that the little girl feels guilty because she also cared deeply for the one we lost.
I thank you for responding. I couldn't find the words last night
@@TheYazmanian I think that's great advice from your friend.
my furry baby just left 12 hours agoI have much guiltI felt bad having to put her downjust before she was going to be put down she opened both of her eyes looked into the camera and let the nurse take a picture14 years I'm so sorryI had to send you away likethat my deepest regret is when my kittyhad her babieswe could not keep them so we took them to the Humane Society she looked everywhere for her babies I'm so sorry I took yourbabies away from you I'm so sorry
I'm sorry for your sad news about your fur baby. We all do what we think is the best at the time. Your little one would have known how much you loved her.
I met my cat when I left for college after the pandemic. She was old when I met her and I originally wasn’t planning to take care of a cat, although I loved cats, bc I neither had the time nor the knowledge to do so. I feed all the stray cats in the vicinity, until now, and most of them would immediately leave after and are scared of humans, but there was a cat who entered my room and did not want to leave even when I told her to do so.
I became closer to this cat, I took care of her, and let her go in and out of my room like she always would. I would take her to the vet and groom her, and she would have unlimited food, treats, water, toys, and we would play together. She loves chin rubs and would even sleep in my room when she wanted to. I had this relationship with her for 9 months. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I loved and cared for her deeply.
Her 1st pregnancy was alright, but during her 2nd pregnancy, she had a BREECH DELIVERY. I was with her the entire time when her 2nd pregnancy was about to begin, on Apr 25th at 3AM, cuz she ‘meowed’ at me everytime I tried to leave her sight to do other stuff. All I did was sit next to her and pet her while waiting for her to give birth, until hours passed when we both fell asleep. I had an exam in a few hours that day, and a planned late lunch with friends.
After my exam, around 12PM, I was relieved to go home and see that she was still alive. But unfortunately, she gave birth to dead kittens. I was sad of course, but continued to follow my plans which was to meet with friends. I did not think that any of this was bad cuz they say that you should leave your pets during pregnancy cuz they prefer to be alone. And I went to the vet months ago to proceed with her deworming+vaccinations but they could not give those to her since deworming would kill her babies. I also asked if pregnancy was safe for her, and one of the trainees there said yes. Around 6PM, she was still giving birth with dead kittens and I was sad but did not think that this was something to be worried about, so I just continued petting her and doing other stuff while she continued to give birth for half a day already.
On Apr 26th at 3AM, a day after, she was still giving birth, and she would move to different parts of my room to give birth. I still was petting her and felt pity for her cuz she was drooling but she never ‘meowed’ at me nor was crying, so I never had the instinct to take her to the vet, at that time. She would always leave my room to take a dump so I opened the door when she walked towards it.
Today, Apr 30th, 4 days have passed, and she never came back. I looked everywhere for her especially at night, in garages, and dark places. I also posted on social media and have inquired from everyone in and out of the vicinity. I am slowly accepting that she is in Heaven right now, even though it hurts so much. For the past few days, I couldn’t help but grieve and blame myself that I should’ve taken her to the vet and things might have been different. I have never cried and been in pain this much, she was the most precious thing in my heart, and this is the worst thing that ever happened to me.
I have received emotional help from friends, and family, especially, from my aunt who is a veterinarian, but despite everything, I would still blame myself and wish I could turn back time and take her to the vet instead of letting her suffer alone. But apart from the guilt, I trust God and wish that she is in Heaven right now with her family and that we may see each other again when it’s also my time, because I could not imagine Heaven without her, the love of my life, my little precious, Blewpie🤍
I'm so sorry for your sad news. I think it is an animal's instinct to take themselves somewhere quiet, and hide away, when they know their time to pass is approaching.
You obviously loved her a lot and thought you were doing the right thing. You were with her and comforting her during most of the births. She would have known how precious she was to you.
@@juliewood7845 I apreciate you reply, Julie💕 you are wonderful for comforting everyone going through grief.
But do u believe in Heaven for animals? Because I do.
@@purrhaochi I'm sure if there is a heaven, people and animals will be welcome.
@@juliewood7845 I’m glad to hear that🤍🤍🤍 I agree bc if we ever go to Heaven, it wouldn’t be called one without our beloved pets🥺
Its been two days since we had to put my baby boy to sleep. Chibi was my soul mate, I have never and I know I will never feel such a deep bond and love for any person or animal ever again. My beautiful baby boy my life long companion Chibi was with me since I was 17 I'm 30 now, He was going to be 14 this march I miss him so much it hurts, I wasn't ready to let go, I wanted to hold him one last time, kiss his little heart marked head, it was sudden and its been hard. I feel so much immense guilt and regret, I feel like I betrayed him that I failed him that I took the easy way out for him. I feel like I made the worst decision in my life, and its a decision I can't take back, I can never take it back and I hate myself for it. I want to believe he isn't in pain anymore, that he isn't scared or confused, that he doesn't hate me for our decision that he can forgive me. That he will wait for me and his daddy so that we can see his beautiful face again.
Chibi sometime a week or so before suddenly started breathing rapidly and it began to be difficult for him to even walk, we took him to the vet, they did xrays he had a slightly enlarged heart and liquid in his lungs and he had lost weight which worried me, we started giving him medication and he seemed to be getting better he started acting like his usual self again begging for food hogging the bed and making sure he was tucked sideways between me and his daddy so he could touch us both. Then suddenly on the 25th of January 2023 became the worst day of our lives. He started breathing rapidly again, we were getting ready to call the vet as we comforted him when he stopped breathing in his daddys arms. We couldn't believe this was happening he was normal yesterday why WHY all the sudden he just stopped breathing as liquid and blood came pouring out of his mouth and we were terrified traumatized shocked, in disbelief that it was happening. And then his daddy his amazing dad was able to get him to breath again through all of our tears but it was slight it was barely noticable so my s.o jumped in the car with his brother and our little chibi as he was rushed to the vets, the animal hospital was an hour away so we went to the vet, they were able to get him breathing a little bit more to where he was able to see around him. His body was drowning itself, they told us it would keep happening that he would suffer from drowning again, they told us we couldn't take him home in this condition, that they truly think we should say our goodbyes... I wasn't there though I couldnt hold his little paw in my hand and I will regret that and the decision we made everyday for the rest of my life. My amazing s.o let me videocall with him he was barely able to lift his little head he just laid there staring at his daddy. We do believe we did it out of selfless love so he wont suffer anymore, so he would never have to experience the pain he was in the last week or so of his beautiful life, especially the pain of the last hour, that horrible last hour but one I will remember as I pet and kissed his face telling him it was okay, mommy was there before he was gone, truly gone from my life. He was loved, loved so much it physically hurts and will always be loved. But I still think what if.. what if he got better, what if it didn't happen again, what if they are wrong about him.. but that what if was too late the decision was made and my life feels empty my bed feels empty my heart is hurting more and more and I just want to hold my little hotdog baby again. I feel terrible all I can do is sob for the loss and guilt and sorrow I feel, I miss him so much I get sick, it's the worse at night, he was my little heater who snuggled into my side always wanting to be near his mommy. We have two cat babies that I can barely pay attention too, I dont mean to neglect them I just cant make it out of bed most hours, I felt terrible as the next morning I was hoping it was all a bad dream and I felt someone pressed against me, but it wasnt a dream it was one of our other babies, I sobbed into my pillow hoping to not disturb them or my s.o. I will make sure to love them and keep them in line as you did Chibi. I have never had to make that decision for any of my animals before, and the one I did was the one I loved more than life itself, more than the air I breath, my little soul mate who is now in puppy heaven, the bestest boy I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and loving I didn't deserve him but I am a selfish creature and I am so fucking thankful he choose me to love as I choose him.
I love you Chibi, I miss you my baby my son my soul mate, I didn't deserve the love you shared with me, I wont care if you hate me as long as I know you aren't in pain. I just want to know I made the right choice for you, even if it isn't the right one for me or the one I wanted, I will always hold this regret and guilt with me just as I will carry your love and memories with me, and thats okay, I will gladly take it all, just so you will never have to suffer again. Please wait for me and daddy on the other side our little prince.❤❤❤Rest easy now my love March 24th, 2009 - January 25th, 2023
I'm so sorry to read the sad news about Chibi.
What you did was the most caring act of love for him. You could have kept him going, causing him discomfort and distress because you didn't want to let him go - but you didn't. You did the kindest thing in the most difficult of circumstances.
Chibi lived his life surrounded by love. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
@@juliewood7845 Thank you, I appreciate that so much right now
Reading this has me crying so hard. I lost my soul mate - the love of my life - my son - my baby yesterday.
Same exact thing as your baby. Water in the lungs, liver enlargement. He had been diagnosed with diabetes a few days ago and then bounced back- we went for a walk even - and then he stopped eating.m, which was his favorite activity. I took him back to vet and they found masses and the fluid.
I’m so shattered. I can’t breathe sometimes. This is the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my entire trauma pain filled life. Oliver was my heart.
I hope you are finding peace. Thank you for writing what you did because it’s exactly how I feel about my bestest most handsomest boy😢❤
I wrapped his collar around my wrist- I don’t think I’ll ever take it off
am I supposed to cry during this.. i started crying
Some people do get very emotional. There is no right or wrong way to grieve xx.
Thank you for this i really needed this. ❤️
I wish I was able to hold him and look into his eyes before he passed away he is currently wrapped in blankets and I put him in a suitcase because I didn't know where else to put him I'm not sure what to do now I live alone and I don't want anyone else involved in the process because I'm gonna have a breakdown thank you for letting me share
I don't know where you live, in the UK there are charities and organisations that can help (like the Blue Cross).
thank you so much for this video ❤️
Thankyou. I really needed this. 🙏🌺
I lost my beloved cat about a week and a half ago. She was my companion for almost 6 years. I will always blame myself that I should have done more even if it meant being homeless. I will never forgive myself and don't even deserve to live either. God, please help me.
Hi Martha. It's so difficult when our much loved animals pass away. We always think we could have done more. Becoming homeless would not have helped either of you.
Your cat would have known how much you loved her. She would not want you to feel this way.
@@juliewood7845Thank you so much Julie for responding to my heartache over the loss of my beloved cat. You have given me more comfort than people I have known for years. I just had to let my feelings be known to anyone who might listen but I never really expected a reply much less such a kind and compassionate one like yours. God bless you. 🙏💕
Thank you for this video
So accurate and helpful. Thank you xx
Thank you. I'm glad it's helped.
I loss my chicken suddenly today she was not sick she got attack by some type of ants i dont know what happened to her. I CANNT explain what i am feeling. I didn't know what she was going through. I am ashamed. I am guilty. I am regretting. 😢
I'm sorry to read that. You could not have known what was going to happen to her. You clearly cared for her a great deal. You have nothing to feel ashamed about.
Thank you 💕
Crying all day
Hi Sonja, I'm sorry I have just seen your comments. It's so sad about your cat. I hope some of the videos have helped.
Thank goodness for your videos
Stay strong and know you are not alone. I lost my 11 month old dog yesterday. The pain is still really raw. ❤️
Today we lost one of our kitten. It was only 17 days old . It was walking around, when my brother step on him. It started bleeding and breathing slowly until it dead tow hours letter.i feel really bad thinking about how it was running around perfectly fine few hours ago
That's so sad. I'm sure it was an accident, but I can understand how upsetting it must be.
Thank you, so very much.
My young cat crawled up under my car. I was rushing out the door. About two minutes later I felt a bump under my wheel, I looked in mirror and saw my poor baby.
She was only with us for four months, but she was so lovely, so gentle and patient with my toddler.
I feel terribly guilty.
That's so sad. You know that you would never have done it if you had known she was there.
Be kind to yourself. She wouldn't want you to feel so bad x.
I lost my pet.I had a little 5 lb chihuahua named Rico and last night my mom let him out to use the bathroom and that’s the last time I ever saw him.I heard yelping and later we saw a bobcat in our yard my family feels torn my parents are stressed I’m really upset because I got him as a birthday present last year and he was my baby and best friend any hard day I had I would come back home and be happy again when I saw him now he’s just gone.We live on over 150 acres of land so he could’ve gone anywhere I keep thinking about what I could’ve done and I just keep thinking about him he was my best friend he was the only living thing that actually made me feel happy now he’s gone and it’s my fault.
This must be so distressing for you. Please don't blame yourself. Rico wouldn't want that.
I wasn’t there when my cat died and had my mom and dad to take her to the vet and I wasn’t home . When mom called my zoe already passed away and she didn’t see me. I feel guilty about this until now thanks
I'm sure Zoe lived her life surrounded by love. That is what's important. She would have known how much she meant to her.
I feel guility and it's all my fault!I just let him outside even that he was a bit sick and I try look for him but I didn't found him, next day we found it but I found out he ate something poisoned,now I wait my parents to come home and tell me yhe news It's all my fault😢😢😢😢
I'm sorry for your sad news. If he was sick when he went out it's possible he hid away to die in private. Animals often do that. You could not have known that would happen.
Thank You ✨💜✨
My cat was sick for a couple weeks, I kept trying to save him because him being hospitalized was out of my financial control, I took my last bit of money and chose to get him put down, before it got worse, he had liver damage. I just feel out of place. I feel like I should have saved money for him. Or waited till I could save up. But the vet said he’d just be in more pain. It’s like knowing the facts but still feeling like I let him down. I can’t get it out of my head
I'm so sorry to read about your cat. You know in your heart you did the right thing.
I have clients who feel terrible because they put their pet through loads of tests and operations, and their pet passed away anyway.They tell me they wished the end of their pet's life was not spent having procedures done to them.
You clearly loved your little one very much, and I'm sure he spent his life knowing that.
My beautiful 12 year old Pomeranian collapse when I got home! I rushed him to the vet with fear hoping that he wouldn’t die on me! As I got to the vet he seemed to come back to being himself a bit but I let the vet take him in bc I was afraid to take him home and he passed away! The vet said we needed to leave him overnight on oxygen to see if he got better. I get a call the next morning saying he didn’t get better and it was better to put him to sleep! Idk why I came to that decision and it’s haunting me. I feel like I could have done more for him! His heart was failing! It was so sudden and unexpected for me! I feel so guilty and feel like I took him there to die! I hate the feelings that I’m feeling! R.I.P Leo! I will always love you and think about you until the day that I am gone! I’m sorry I didn’t do more for you! The guilt will eat me up forever! 😢😞😭
You took the best decision that you could, based on the advice that you were given by the vet. His little heart was failing, and he may have suffered much more if you had taken him home again. It's obvious how much you loved him. He wouldn't want you to feel this way.
@@juliewood7845 thank you for the kind words. It’s very difficult to accept it. Even though I know that he’s in a better place. I wish he could have been around just a little bit longer. But at the same time I didn’t want him to suffer. I truly hope that I did do the right thing 🙏🏻😭🕊️🤍
I never felt guilt
How did you feel?
Thank you 🙏 xx
Thank you for this. I found this little stray cat not long ago who was very emancipated, his weight similar to a few month old cat, even though he was a few years old at that point. Whenever I tried feeding him he would cry out in pain, and could barely eat a few pieces of soft cat food days at a time. He was literally skin and bones. We took him to the vet today and they told us he had a disease called stomatitis and FIV, which meant that even if we treated his mouth disease, the FIV had already taken an extreme toll on him and his odds of surviving was very slim. At that point, they thought his mouth issues had a very slim chance of being treated due to his FIV, so the odds of him being able to eat another full meal again was also very low. I feel so guilty we put him down, but he was suffering so much and I didn’t want him to hurt anymore. He was the sweetest boy and he deserved a better life than the one he had, but he died loved and having a true family with us. He will never be forgotten.
You did the best that you could. Caring for him at the end and taking him to the vet prevented a lingering painful death of starvation. He knew your love, even if it was for a short time.
I found a feeldling baby Robin bird in my backyard ... I was worried for the baby bird 🐦, because my dog in backyard and hot summer elements.
So youtube how rescue wild baby bird .
So I got a open shoe box placed bird back in tree thinking mother bird would nurture it but I went to check on it I found it dead in the shoe box in the tree..
I feel guilty I'm responsible for it passing away.😪😭 I buried the bird 🐦 feeling like crap last 2 days
You were trying to help the baby Robin. You did it with the best of intentions, and went to the trouble of researching the best thing to do.
I doubt the bird would have survived anyway.
You did the best for it, which shows you have a good heart.
What if your best friend wasn't sick at all, but had always been a bit of a biter and even though there were a few times that I was afraid of his spontaneous attacks, we still had an extremely close friendship. I was moving to the other side of the country to help my 93 year old father and his wife, had Joey (my cat and only friend) totally checked out at the vet, he was fine, bought him a new FAA approved carrier, paid for his travel and the day before we were leaving, my sister who i love, suggested that I put him down bc of the biting. She's 10 years older than me and she basically raised me, so that's the only reason I can come up with as to why the hell I agreed to do it. It was NEVER an option, and bcuz I don't want to also now have a resentment towards her, I have to figure out why I allowed this to happen. I've been beating the shit out of myself bc all i can think is that maybe I went into some sort of dissociative state of shock bc we were together for 10 years and there was nothing wrong with him, so I don't understand why I didn't say no! It must seem awful to anyone who reads this bc it is. I can't come to grips with why I didn't absolutely refuse to kill my best and only friend? I really need help dealing with this, bc im not caring for myself at all. I was put on the plane the next day and within a few days, it was like I woke up and I haven't stopped crying since, so I left my dad's with the clothes on my back and flew home to mourn my little guy. Now its been over 2 months and I'm not doing well at all. Idk why I didn't flat out say no?
Sometimes when we are in emotional turmoil (like you might have been when you uprooted your life to move closer to your Dad) we make irrational decisions, and act on advice we wouldn't usually consider, because we doubt our own judgement and assume the person giving the advice must know best.
I want to go be with my little girl. I wanted to die with her at the time. I can't wait to see you again, Olivia.
I feel guilty because I didn't do a good enough job training my dog and didn't have the money to afford the tests to see if it was something wrong with his brain and I made the call to put down my 3 year old dog because he was attacking the other dogs, my wife and I.
You made the best decision that you could at the time. I'm sure if you could have done things differently you would have.
My PTSD and disability is ova a year ago looking to adopt in my first adult cat 3:49 am today I was woken by a vomiting sound I was so terrified that my PTSD made me go into freeze mode when the sound stopped I went over and he was on his side and had passed away
That's so sad. Sorry for your upsetting news. I'm sure you gave him a lot of love over the past year.
I made my dog lose 1 of its tooth on accident and it only has very little left and I'm afraid we're gonna need to put it down because of that
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you can get your dog some help. You mustn't blame yourself if it was an accident.
I feel very guilty my snow die at trainer house why we sent them in training
You must feel devastated. You were not to know what would happen.
I'm sure one of the reasons you sent Snow for training is so they would be safer in the wider world.
You mustn't blame yourself.
I had to put my wee beagle to sleep today:( heart is broken.
He had a tumour and kept him as long as we could . It was time I didn’t want him to be in pain . His brother beagle is howling missing him. It was so heartbreaking saying goodbye 😢
@7537kevin you did the kindest thing. You put his feelings before your own. It's natural for your other dog to grieve. I know it makes your own grief even more intense.
How long do you think he will howl . He sleeps in his own shed . Well the two of them slept together. That was jacks first night ever on his own. He howled most of the night :( he’s absolutely lost without him
Each animal is different. It might help if he has a blanket that smells of your other beagle. He would have sensed that he was ill. It's natural that he is upset.