She felt "dead inside" because she WAS - when you are with a narcissist, one of you has to die, 2 individuals CANNOT EXIST when one is a narcissist, as there is no separation, no such word as an individual "self" as the narc's "self" is based on the outside, and lives like a parasite onto their victim, they are one, not 2, and the narcissist cannot live without their supply, so the victim is the one who dies, always. When you have kids, it is not a reason to stay, but a reason to LEAVE.
what really made a diffence in my life is when i found God. When I learnt over time how Gods sees me and reassures me that He loves me. This helped my more and more not to be shaken from human critisism. God tells me Im precious, beautiful and unique because He made me so He knows! I dont fall for human traps anymore even some are well ment. Let God give you your identity!
My experience also drew me closer to God and helped give me a better understanding of the sinning nature of humans. It’s helped me turn inward to repair and rebuild myself with God’s grace and teaching.
@@inhale.exhale.2527 ask Jesus to come into your heart as your personal savior and then develop a personal relationship with him by reading the scriptures and praying fir his guidance :) amen 🙏
@Sunny Days - True but how did we attract them to feed on us. That's the main question we need to ask ourselves. We were not smart or wise enough to keep away from them. Because we were not truly whole in our self to repel these parasites. So course correct to self-love, self-care and self-recovery.🙏
Yes and they will guilt trip you when you stand up for hurt feelings, boundaries or telling them you don't trust them in whatever context. They know no guilt at all. No emotions. Maybe only frustrations and annoyance when they don't get what they want.
We beat ourselves up for being gullible and trusting... but the truth is There is no shame in trusting someone or loving someone. The lesson we take is to trust those gut feelings and break free. Be more careful next time and remember the lesson but do not beat yourself up . We’ve been beat up enough.
@Barbara Mellon - This is so true. Stop beating and start building our self to be strong and assertive enough not to be in any abusive situation again.🙏
Yes! There is no shame in being a good and kind hearted person, but we are automatically targets for these type of people… Cluster B loves to prey on the good ones
I never want another romantic relationship , ever again. I am isolating and I have been for a very long time. I'm like the shell of the person I once was. Your story is so inspiring thank you!!
Well, your tag name is Life's a journey let it go.. But from the comment it seems you won't let it go.. The thing is people are hurtful selfish, self-centered jerks, but don't punish yourself by denying yourself happiness in a relationship.. There are good people who do love and care. There's bad and good.. But there is someone wonderful out there for you and for anyone else who's been hurt. Listen, here's a truth that I know and have learned the hard way.. Man will fail you, but God will never fail you.. In the right moment at the right time God will bring a great person into your life.. If you want it.. But you have to "let it go" and let God work out healing if your hearts been broken, as well as the details into your happiness! You deserve love, happiness, and contentment.. I hope you choose to love again.. You're worth it! ❤
Me too. I can’t even remember who I was, or who now I’m supposed to be! I’ve been isolated from friends and family, especially by the narcopath, for so long, that it feels normal. Now I’ve even begun to isolate myself even more! I’ve been gaslighted into believing that no one wants to be around me, every one is sick of me, nobody trusts anything I say, blah blah blah. Took me awhile, but finally realized, then confirmed, the smear campaign he’s been waging for years!! I know now the reasons. He wants me to feel bad, ashamed, and hurt. The more diminished I become, the more power he believes he has to keep me right where he wants me... under his thumb and his control! Also, it was imperative for him to convince everyone, friends and family alike, that I was a liar. This way, if I try to tell anyone what horrors I endure behind closed doors, they’re not likely to believe me. They’ve been told that I’m mentally unstable, that I make things up for attention, and on and on! Now he’s playing the victim, saying how difficult I am to live with, that I “fly into a rage” with little or no provocation, and that he doesn’t believe a word that comes out of my mouth! Well, guess what? He’s just described himself, and his manipulative, disgusting behaviors! He’s projecting. I am caught in a nightmare of lies, deceit, slander, and verbal, emotional, psychological, spiritual , and financial abuse that I wouldn’t wish on anyone! Honestly, I’d prefer to be punched in the face each and every day, than to endure one more minute of what feels like an agonizing, slow death....of my body, mind, and my very soul!!!! Omgosh....... I really need help. 😢
Yes, after a break up and assault from a stranger, where I was severely injured . My “loved ones” couldn’t even call me to check in - I looked at everything. Pretty much 100% of my friends were narc , sociopaths or abusers. I am very consciously choosing my friends. I had always been there for everyone, even strangers ar times. My jaw dropped at the lack of reciprocal love in my life. I’m doing great BTW 💕💕
Narcissistic abuse is the worst abuse a person can go through and unless you’ve been through it people don’t really understand it. I still grieve the person I used to be before I met ‘him’. Meanwhile he’s remarried and I often worry about how she’s coping with all his abusive behaviours. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help worrying for her. Thank you for giving a voice to so many survivours ❤️
Don’t “worry” pray for them. Darkened souls need prayer. We all know there are No coincidences. It’s the worst experience of being lied to and then standing your ground with dignity? Well done. Be at Peace. Let your light shine.
I used to be so strong. I worry his future victims will end up committing suicide... if he ever finds a woman who isn’t mentally tough. Bc that is where he brought me
She is gorgeous, smart, accomplished and compassionate. You certainly don't need a man that is so threatened by you that he needs to pull you down to his level. If he was worthy of you, he would have been building you up. Period.
Empaths draw in Narcissistic people too. They feed off the energy of healers, Spiritual folks. Any time you meet a "charming" person run the other way! Avoid them - go with the down to Earth people. This goes for men and women. Blessings to all for Protection of these types.
A lot of people who claim to be spiritual or healers are in fact narcissistic. It is this altruistic front they put to the outside world, but inside, the people closest to them get hurt behind doors. I was raised by such healer and spiritual person. Please be cautious, they are everywhere, especially where weak and injured people are looking for hope and healing.... They are the easiest to influence and manipulate, with promises of better days.... Only if you do this, this and that (always conditional)... And once you have complied, they will just move the goal post.... And no matter how hard you try, to them you haven't tried hard enough.... You didn't meditate or pray hard enough, you didn't believe in their healing abilities hard enough, etc.... Always excuses and always your fault and never theirs......... Please be cautious, learn and keep your eyes open.
I will, for example, fret over a construction worker who's high up on a roof in the snow. Someone I don't even know. I'll say a prayer that he doesn't fall. I worried that our painter, who was up on a scaffolding painting a high spot of the wall, would fall so I said a prayer for both him and his brother. It can be exhausting to constantly fret over people.
It changed me, in ways I’m still coping with. I don’t know the first thing about starting a relationship now, I just shut down. It’s those latent effects of a narcissistic relationship that has been the most traumatic
@STAR W Interesting perspective. That wasn't something that was an issue for me, or at least not as an adult. I cut off all contact with my family back in '04, specifically because we have almost nothing in common except a genetic phenotype. As a kid, I thought aliens must have left me with them because we were so different: different morals, different values, different politics, different world view. I look just like them, inherited their athletic ability, but that seems to be where it ends. They mostly sicken me, especially my mother. One think I have never worried about is adopting their warped moral character. Children who become narcissists...or highly narcissistic...because their parents are narcissists tend to be the sort who need their parents approval. My locus of control is more internal than external.
@@stephanier6783 Girrrrl. #metoo. I haven't talked to my elderly mother or siblings (flying monkeys) in 8 years. Listening to this, I know I am doing the right thing. Not only has she never apologized (and never will) she tells me it never happened.
@@bravefitchick7184 I get you. It's very sad when you have to give up your entire family because one pathological person turns them all into flying monkeys who do their bidding. I'm sorry you've had to go through this, as well. ...and yes, they do prefer to sweep that stuff right under the rug or gaslight you and tell you it never happened (and unless you have irrefutable evidence, they'll argue their point as though it were true). Wishing you the best as you move forward in life.
@@stephanier6783 I also waited for my "real" parents to come or the aliens to take me back to their planet. My parents always let me know I was unwanted, a waste of space, a big mistake. It's a shame anybody can breed, a real shame.
Broke free from a narcissistic relationship Dec. 19, 2005....it was the hardest life experience I’ve ever tackled! I had/have an amazing support system of Christian sisters! Studying the Bible inside and out changed my thought processes and life! Lots of growth and additional life’s lessons continue but, I now know what healthy relationships are about. Life has become much easier in identifying those who are there to cause harm and those who are there to walk by my side! There is hope and that hope is studying The Truth!
Oh yea, they can lie while staring at you... then the fury that you dared to question anything will set in, and you will be dismissed. Oh and yes they deny and cry....very familiar.
I'm only 9ish minutes into watching this. I'm having the hardest time understanding how I repeatedly accepted his even though I knew things didn't feel right, as well as how would things get so twisted/manipulated that I would end up consoling him and/or letting him project it all back onto me. I used to feel so alone. I didn't realize i was married to a narcissist and what I was experiencing daily gaslighting, which is a form psychological/emotional abuse. Knowledge is power.
Yes! You’re absolutely right! Don’t feel bad. I’ve been in this nuthouse shitshow for almost 36 years!! Spent sooo much time, (wasted), trying to be who and what he wanted me to be. Which is, of course, a futile endeavor. I was, and never be, good enough, thin enough, etc etc etc! Every time I felt that I was doing or being exactly as he wanted, he’d once again move the goalpost!!!! It was just about 2 years ago when I accidentally found articles regarding narcissistic abuse. Suddenly a light came on! Everything they explained was exactly describing my life...my nightmare! I had known for a very long time that things weren’t “right “...... but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I just knew it felt “yucky “. With all the gaslighting, and cognitive dissonance on my part, I actually believed it was all me, as that is what I’d been told day after day, year after year. It felt like a huge weight came off that day. Finally, it had a name! And so did all of his manipulative, cruel, shitty behaviors. His mask cam off that day, and I could finally see the situation as it truly was.....not the self serving and abusive scenario he had drilled into my head! Unfortunately, I have yet to free myself from this dark prison. Trying to save just enough $ to go, and go for good! Of course, he controls ALL the money.....even my paychecks are being automatically deposited into an account that I having access to! I’m determined to get my life back, ASAP, no matter what I have to do, or what I lose in the process. Long road. Praying a lot
24 years for me,, felt like a right fool at the time when I realised what was going on, but trust me things get better and you are definitely not alone
@@lisafiedler4513 I’ve been in a few decades. Couldn’t make sense out of anything and no one would believe me. I feel like I can start to see light now that this craziness has a label. These videos are bringing me hope of understanding what I’m dealing with and how to not drown.
Had exact same experience, but in my case had to sell family home that we lived in for 25 yrs, while he fluttered off with new woman in his life, soul destroying but light at the end of the tunnel, PLEASE PLEASE anyone involved with a narcissist RUN and keep RUNNING do your best to get out and stay out 🙏
I'm so sorry. I'm in the same boat. Mine took me for every asset we had and left me with a pile of crap. He even took my phone charger because it was better than his. I sort of laugh because that was so ridiculous but not funny when I don't have the caah to replace it. I had a spare it's just not as good. I am hoping the lawyers can help me but I fear they or the judge will even succumb to his lies
Same except we were together for 14 years , had just bought a home and 6 months later he starts having an affair with his boss . He said he didn’t want a divorce coz he wanted to take care of our son and help pay for the mortgage . They really are heartless . He happily enjoyed his time wiht his new girlfriend while I was having a hard time letting go . Divorced and still healing after 3.5 years
@@Narrowpath0325 A little of narcissism is not so bad, but I fear for the next generation with all the apps on their phones ! Narcissus was falling in love with his reflect on the water, imagine what Snapchat and all those filtered selfies can do on a teen ego !
But if one leaves the court system will force the child to visit with the narc and then they are alone there without the other parent. There are no good answers. 🌈
@@tenderheart7530 , you are absolutely correct. There are no good answers once children are involved. After having been married to the narcissist for a while (the mask really came off while I was pregnant), I had a pretty good idea as to what my little one would endure with unsupervised visitation, so I stayed. I poured everything I had into parenting and both the child and I suffered horribly.
This must be the universe speaking to me. You are never going to believe that the necklace you are wearing is my design. I put your video on to listen to advice about what I’m going through and you are wearing a necklace I designed. I started to cry because the Universe has clearly just sent me a sign. Thank you 🙏 for all of this. X, Natalie Holst of HOLST+ LEE
I went through narcissistic abuse with my mother from birth, all relationships with men, my husband and also female friends. I’m 67 and still traumatized after 29 years of awareness and therapy. I’m about to undergo EMDR therapy to finally put it all to bed. I recommend the book The Body Keeps the Score.
Interesting you mention wanting to keep the family together - that's what kept me stuck for a very long time, but everyone has a breaking point at the end of the day.
This is brilliant! No one understands emotional psychological abuse of a narcissist particularly a covert narcissist, unless you've been through it. I would have given anything to have had you as a coach through my divorce. I wish I could tell my story as openly as you are.
I think thts why they have so much anger bordering on hatred...bcos we're good ppl inside...we may break and feel insecure, need to heal, but we will...deep down they're worse off emotionally and their behaviour proves it
I have learned my lesson the hard way! I do periodically go out on dates and run at the first red flag! And I run really fast! I'm even capable of telling them the honest to God truth why too. I just don't want anymore damage to my heart!
When people say narcissistic abuse is the worst kind of abuse, there short. I lived a hard life but I never felt so confused, broken and hurt. I don’t know how to function.
I knew I was in a toxic relationship, but never dreamed how maimed I emerged, and I know that I must fix my "picker" , because one more relationship like this will SURELY kill me
@@deb8693 I am a couple years out of the years if trauma, stress, and emotional abuse - it does get better - but there us a price. After several years , I still deal with PTSD and anxiety disorders.
My life began at the age of 40, as I typed "emotional abuse" into TH-cam. It felt as if all the people there knew me in person... Me, my parents, my wife...
The BEST counsellors, therapists, and doctors are those who have PERSONAL experience with what they are helping others with - and I'm not just referring to mental health professionals, either, but all health workers, nurses, nurses aides, techs of all kinds - when they have PERSONAL experience with what they are helping you with, it makes ALL the difference.
I feel like I'm dying atm. Hearts totally broken and my heads a mess but I will never go back. Left him so many times before and know I'll get through it. Off to the doctors on Monday. I'm so determined to get the stronger, happier me back and I will. His distorted ideas of love are becoming so clear it makes me want to vomit.
This is beyond amazing! The similarities between her story & mine are scary--2 kids, cheating, 40 in 2013, he left 😳 The pool of normal, non-narcs seems to get smaller every day. Thank you for this video, it's been several years & I'm still learning & getting stronger. God Bless all of you who are survivors--not victims, SURVIVORS!! 💕💕
I was in a marriage with a narcissist. We were together for 19 years. At the beginning the good was intense and overwhelming even that the abusive was soon visible. After we had kids it became worse and worse. After breaking up it was more of a nightmare and the kids where used by him for his purpose. It will only be over when my youngest is grown up. I learnt to deal better with it over the years by ignoring him or to act wisely with him. He tries to punish me forever for divorcing him
Oh my gosh my ex is exactly the same I attempted divorce twice before doing it the third time I never heard the end of first two attempts in our fights even now he Hoover’s and then I lower my guard then in comes the low flying guilt plane ✈️ and the bomb follows they will never stop bombing us with love and hate !!!
Even though our youngest is now 21, unfortunately, he still tries to put my name into any disagreement our daughters and he have. I am so proud of my girls because they are strong with him, and hold him responsible for his absence in their childhood....even though he lived about 1 mile or so away, he never called them on birthday's, Christmas,etc....I know it took a lot for them to oppose HIS reality(he lies so much that the lies have actually become HIS reality), because he is a volatile tyrant. He had tried to blame me for his absence by saying I refused to let them have a visit with him, but the girls held their guns and calmly told him, "No, Dad...we KNOW she didn't do that "
He’ll never stop, either! Going no contact, or in a case with children, only necessary content, by by email, texts, etc, so you can’t be sucked back into his circus!!
Omg. I can only imagine your pain for 19 years. It’s something you can’t describe with words. I’m married to a narccistist too. But I’m pregnant and I really don’t see how would I split up, not working because of my high risk pregnancy. I feel pain every single day, every single time When he insults me and gaslight me
FYI, I feel compelled to say this, but you need to know, so you will be prepared for it. You mentioned that it will all be over once the last kid in the home is grown. Oh, contraire!!!! It’s never over!! After using the kids against me, telling them lies, etc, I too thought it would be “over”. They are so cruel and insidious , that they will actually carry on the smear campaign against you, using your grandchildren!!!! It’s still happening to me!! How messed up is that? He has no problem with gaslighting our grandchildren. Believe me, they will stop at NOTHING, and use anyone and everyone in order to get to you...make you suffer! I believe this is child abuse!!
Caroline I can relate to everything you said. I lived with a narcissist for 40 years. I an now going through divorce I am 70years of age. I lived a broken life for most if my marriage abusive everything my fault cheating lying controlling everything I was just a slave. A street angel and house devil. Yesmy advise to women living with a Narc. Run run run and never look back. Yes it's hard in the beginning but time is a healer.
I'm 55. I'll never put myself through a relationship again. I have my own interests and I'm allowed to pursue them. Be kind to yourself. You've earned the peace and calm. X
I have no idea what gaslighting is?? What woke me up was the minister barging into my home, screaming at my face... " How Dare you get rid of a good man like A" Ok #1. the minister never even knocked... #2 he is screaming! At me?... I pushed him down on the sofa and proceeded to tell him just what a good man A.... was, then I called my ministers higher up and told him what happened... The next day the minister was gone.
Whoa!!!! That is sick.... Proud of you. We have to set our boundaries and make sure people respect our boundaries. Narcissists don't understand boundaries.
Feeding my heart to a wolf is my experience I can relate to everything you went through. When i asked my wife who's mens underwear was in my drawers and believed all the lies she told me. It is the most damaging form of abuse and they know it.
This is just what I needed to hear. I been stuck wanting to leave my husband and Beating myself up for wanting to. Asking myself over and over why it’s so hard for me to leave and telling myself to stay for my kids. The Emotional abuse is never ending. I keep saying to myself he is trying and he loves me and I can’t start over I’m to old. I self sabotage myself and I watch my kids do the same thing. I finally went to a counselor and I got diagnosed with depression anxiety and cognitive distance, It’s an Emotional Roller Coaster of feelings. I never would wish this on anyone. I hate Myself for not leaving for my kids emotional well being. I could barely Function daily for myself.
I'm sorry Amy, it sounds so hard I was raised in a family home just as you describe( I'm now 64) this foundation of stress caused me much pain and suffering goin through life, Low self worth, bullying, anxiety, insomnia, isolation, but I developed a relationship with God otherwise I would have ended up an alcoholic or in a cemetery.
Your a husband, you have a covenant with God and your wife . Family is a Gift from above, form the Father of Love. Pray for deliverance, your family needs their own. Don’t be deceived. Remember, “ Satan is an Illusionist, who predicts. God is an Illustrator, who fulfills Promises.” I’ll be praying for you, you’re in my Eternal prayer basket. Courage and Faith.
Blazinbloke, i hope you're doing ok. Do you have any update on your situation? Take courage, the future may look bleak at times, but the sun shines again.
Thank you .. im also an RTT student and recovering from a 5 year narcissistic relationship.. developed auto immune disease and short term memory loss, your story affirms my hope to get my confidence and mentality back
short term memory loss..yes, check...he controlled my every move..i wasn't allowed to speak, express any emotion, start a conversation, or he's say, i was starting a fight and would call the rescue squad, or police if i started crying from his violent abuse saying i was "outta control", and say i was abusing him! and the cops believed him.....he's on 5 different psych. medications.....hmmmm.
I devorced mine over 30 years ago, went back to school took care of my children they are all college graduates and doing real good I did it with God couldn't do it alone.Education is the key with Jesus on your side.
Wow this just showed up in my feed. I have been on my healing path since 2012😔, it feels like forever. But I was put on this path since in the womb. My mom is a narcissist and started blaming and hating me since conception. So for most of my life I just thought it was life and I was to blame for everything that ever went wrong in everyone’s life. So many many toxic, narcissistic relationships, am just starting to feel free, feeling confident and self sufficient. Best wishes to every person that has to go through this and the healing. I have started healing the generational patterns and my daughters have carried that on, my grandchildren look pretty good in my childhood not effecting their future.
@Lisa Lambert - it's so difficult to leave the bad situation when we are young and at home. I too realised that I needed to heal myself from my past, my unresolved issues, my childhood hurts, my emotional abuse. it is only due to lockdown be that I got the time and opportunity to go on an inward journey of healing and self-recovery. I benefited from inner child healing meditation videos that helped me heal from childhood abuse.🙏
Left a very physically and emotionally abusive narcissist 2 years ago. I’ve isolated myself, went into this depressive situation, became an alcoholic, gained tons of weight, and just now trying to recover from the relationship. I’ve finally got the gumption to tell him to leave me alone.
Caroline you are a strong, beautiful, amazing lady. Thank you for your courage for sharing your life experience. I too was in a narcissistic abusive relationship. I left before it got really bad. But all of my gaslighting thoughts were validated when I found proof he was cheating. But we move on and learn to love ourselves again.
Years after I left my longtime abuser his ex law partner contacted me. My ex had lost his law license, had a stroke which he never fully recovered from, lost his home and was living in a run down bug infested roadside motel. My ex told me that he knew why God allowed all of the horrible things to happen to him. He said it was because of all of the horrible things he did to me. A few months later my ex had a second stroke and died alone at the hospital. I am so thankful my ex is no longer alive to abuse me or anyone else. I still suffer negative effects of his abuse but I am a survivor. I now put my energy into rescuing and advocating for animals in need.
I am in the process of divorcing my narc husband of 21 years. After giving so much to the relationship and getting Nothing in return, I stopped. I started treating him the way he treated me (even though it went against who I inherently was as a person). I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was cutting off his supply and he didn’t like it. He eventually told me he wasn’t happy and wanted to end our marriage. I was devastated even though I had been terribly unhappy for most of our marriage, I had told myself you stay married at all cost and especially for our daughter, who shouldn’t have to come from a broken home. Little did I realize it was already a broken home. I went into counseling to help me deal with the end of my marriage and learned only then that I was married to a Narcissist and everything I had experienced all made sense. I had been trying to change him all those years but it was like trying to change a lion into a lamb, completely futile!! I am getting stronger everyday and happy to see my old self coming back to life. It’s both encouraging and sad that so many other people have been abused the way I have been. I pray there is a beautiful life waiting for all of us.
Me too! Over 35 years now, I’ve completely lost myself. I do not know who I am anymore. I do know, however, all my flaws, shortcomings, mistakes,etc, as I have literally been informed and brainwashed every single day for years and years!! Now accumulating the knowledge and the truth, and desperately trying to figure out the actual logistics to get myself free!
Mine left me for a brother in laws little sister. A social worker! She is about to get a PhD in narracist/sociopath behavior! I’m thankful out and was so damn brain washed. Money missing, cheating, and so many lies. They are pathological liars! The one he is dating and moved her into his hosue after divorce (her boss was our therapist and knows my ex is a narc! Years of my life lost! 27 years of my life gone with a very sick man.
Yes!!!! Exactly what I am trying to do by divorcing a narcissist. Hardest thing I've ever had to do next to having lost my 1st spouse to cancer in 2021.
Really enjoyed your talk. You are a very gifted speaker and I can tell you are the type of person that bring a lot of positive energy to a room. Blessings to you for taking charge of your life again and helping many other women in the process. :)
A simple rule; if someone does < any abuse > , it will be done again and again---- + no rescue boat is on the way---------- very simple!!...why try to fix it?-------- Run!!
Oh my gosh !!! I wouldn’t look in the mirror and I was cutting the bottom of my feet so no one would know and after the 16th year I had a psychotic break. The thoughts of anybody else going thru what I did makes me sick!!! Lord have mercy I am so so sorry for any soul that goes thru it!!!
Wish I had heard you 35 years ago , got shivers when you spoke about ex saying he thought he had killed someone . And yes the damage was done when I was a child . I like the fact she is down to earth :)
My ex narc told me he would have no problem killing someone who made him mad enough. And that everyone is replaceable. Sick. Talk about holding fear. I got out as quickly as possible!
Thank you Caroline, my last 2 relationships were actually both narcissists, I hadn't realised it at the time but now I can see how I could be a target for them. I got so hurt, I haven't been in a relationship for 5yrs now as I don't trust anymore. Never good enough stems from my childhood which I hated. As an empath I get so hurt by life and just want to hide away from people. Im so glad to find you and subscribe. Take care lovely Lady. Julie 🌹
This is amazing! I love how real and open you are. Now I understand what was “wrong” with me during and after the time I went through two narcissistic partners. No therapist I’ve seen was able to help me understand like this! Thank you!!
You are an amazing woman. I would give my left foot to have you coach me! I am still currently married to my husband who is a covert narcissist. When you said you wanted to walk around with a mega phone saying HE'S NOT REALLY LIKE THIS ....I feel that way too. I've been with him for 14 years and he has been gaslighting me for most of the time until I figured it out. I also isolate. I depend on him financially 100 percent. We have a daughter that is only 6 years old. I am desperately trying to get out of my depression and anxiety and have been educating myself on Narcissistic abuse. Thank you for all the work you are doing to help woman get out of the Hell this is.
My ex was a textbook narcissist... And I have experienced every characteristic they are capable of. The lying to ur face is just disgusting and disrespects you to Yr very soul. They make you question everything, and twist ur mind in scary ways. Like you he even had the women he was cheating with lie to me...comforting to know that I am not the only woman who has been thru this nightmare. My mum had a brain tumour and while my brother and I cared for her for a year he was cheating lying, screaming at abusing me. I walked away 1.5 yrs ago and still can't believe what I lived thru for almost 5 yrs.
Wow! so beautiful and heartfelt. I went through narcissistic abuse for five years until I ended in a bad place. I just broke up with another bf because he created false expectations and gaslighted me. However, this time I feel different because I have regained my power because I understood no one is going or has to rescue me. I need to pay more attention to stop the circle of attracting a certain type of man. Work in progress, but I do feel the time I will overcome the trauma. I am focusing on myself and my goals. Thank you for sharing.
Your comments are very good, make a lot of sense and I started to follow you today. My daughters and I are victims of narcissist abuse and I truly want to believe that we can thrive!!!!! Thank you !!
Wow,my Narc husband and losing my mother to Cancer, I can relate every word you said,Glad I came across you, Keep the family together is still I existed in the relationship rather living my life
Enyoyed your story. Finished last year with my covert narc girlfriend she walked out like I was a discarded sweet wrapper. On parting saw this mask slip . I saw the spirit of jezabel. The hate this thing had for me was tangible. I was gonna committe suicide but the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said what does darkness and lite have in common. It didnt make things easier s but I relaxed that god was saying she his no good. All the best mick
I'm mostly estranged from my twin sister who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). After decades of my looking for her acceptance and always being criticized, I've distanced myself. After a phone conversation a month ago, I'm no longer answering her calls or texts and will only include her in group email with my other sister. It's the only way to take care of myself. I've been clean and sober for decades, been to therapy, and attended Al-Anon, Adult Children of Alcoholics, Codependents Anonymous, and Alcoholics Anonymous (my primary program). I live 2300 miles from my dysfunctional and have plans to retire even further away. I've rebuilt my "family" by connecting deeply to program friends and connect only with 2 family members--one who is in recovery. To people who say, "Oh, you have a bad program because you haven't mended your relationship with your twin sister," I simply reply, "I've already made my amends. Now I'm drawing boundaries. You're not familiar with NPD, are you?"
Amazing work, amazing lady! I am going through this exact situation as a male empath in a relationship. After 8 years of marriage being discarded, it hurts, it hurts a lot - but I quickly realized by not letting it Get to me, it took her power away…. If your not happy in the relationship, there’s the door I’ll find my own happiness without you!
Wow, I do believe it all starts from childhood. It is a cycle of life depending on what cycle you went through. In my case I have a narcissist Dad, our lives revolved around my parents. As I became a wife I really started to see the cycle I went through and I knew I was not going to do that to my kids. I catch myself and I apologize to my kids and why I behaved that way. I went through a lot of therapy and still do. It has only made my life better and I am able to see who I am. When I broke down I was lost and had no idea who I was or where I was going in life. My mother was also bi-polar which is another story. The great news is I feel free and have removed people out of my life that are toxic.
Hi there, I feel like you have a valuable story! would you be willing to speak on my podcast? its called trauma storm and the mission is to help those suffering through family trauma but also sexual abuse through sharing of stories and also speaking with professionals. I would love to have an episode on the effects of narcissism. if you are willing to tell your story let me know! Search up "trauma storm" on Spotify and you'll find my podcast. Thank you
Fun fun talk. I really enjoyed this. I married a wonderful narcissist for twenty years. I could barely talk to other people I felt so bad about myself. My mom was an alcoholic narcissist, so I have been attracted to the personality type. They are the most fantastic liars and such big victims of the world. Don’t be victimized by the victim.
It does stop when your youngest child turns 18. Thank you for this. I still need confirmation, 19 years later, that I didn't imagine it. Thank you for putting out this video. I did the right thing.
I don’t even think the crowd fully knew the pain by the giggles about consolidating your ex and the supply. It’s not funny. It’s literally THAT painful and confusing. Thank you so much for this video and sharing your story ♥️
Hi. No it's not funny and I don't think the audience was laughing that way. I think they were laughing along with the speaker because that is how she presented it to them. ".....and GUESS what I did?" It's LAUGHABLE, because it's so ridiculous and outrageous. No one in that audience thinks her experience is funny. I sure hope not.
I am the mother of a man that is married to a narcissistic woman. They have a 5 year old. Her emotional abuse and sometimes physical is relentless. I have also fallen to being one of her victims. I’ve pushed back and for that I am now estranged from both my son and grandchild. Interesting when “they” need money it is ok for my son to contact me. When I saw no (because I can’t as I gave out of job for 2 years and drawing money from my retirement fund), I become the target of a barrage of manipulative and abusive texts. I am writing this for 2 reasons. First men are also victims of narcissistic abuse. Everything I’ve read and listen to refers to the man being the narcissistic abuser. Second, with a broken heart, I’ve made the decision to cut off my son and focus on taking care of me. I worry about my granddaughter the most but I am truly helpless to help her. The only way that I may possibly help is to not continue feeding the narcissistic abuse. I found this video extremely helpful. I think that I could use the material to help myself. I will explore her website and get more information.
36 years of this , so sad divorce came as he went to prison , for growing pot , messing with my daughters 18 year old friend, had many houses set up with many others , I lost , my home , my car , my 13 year business, and after 8 years , he came telling me how sorry , and he would buy me a house , on and on , charming for sure , then the truth comes out again , just played me like a fiddle, I was full of pain , confusion, lonely , and starting over in my 60 , didn't even know what all this was... but now my eyes are open , and I'm on the road to joy , .. he is blocked .
Ahhh yes. Mine even went behind my back to plead his side to my folks before I could tell them what was going on in my marriage. He managed to have MY OWN family pitying him and calling to "talk sense into me" and asking me to forgive him. Blew me away! He had cleverly taken away my support system. Such a cunning a-hole.
My mom did the same. She cut me off from my grandma, my dad and others. I learned about my grandfather (still alive), my aunts, uncles and cousins only in adult hood. The first time in my life that i sat on my grandfathers lap was in adulthood after my mothers death, holding my daughter, his great grand daughter in my arms. I never got to grow up with my cousins, i didnt even know they existed. All my cousins grew up together except me. They have always been a tight family..... But i was denied that... My mom kept regular contact with her dad, so it angers me how come i never got to see or know about my grandfather when i was a child..... Narcissists will isolate you to control you.... And it it is sick to what extent they will do it. I grew up without support system... My mother kept moving home and kept switching my school so i could never develop long lasting friendships... Now i feel emotionally crippled coz i dont know what family is, what a true long lasting friendship is, what stability is. I have severe ptsd, and my body is in constant flight or fight mode coz i am so anxious in social setting because of my feelings of inadequacy. I am learning social skills now as an adult... Coz the only thing i knew was how to please my mother and when to run and hide to save my skin when her rage was awakening. I knew to make fried eggs for her in the middle of the night if i heard her busy at her computer in the late hours... This always got her in a good mood and made me somewhat safe for a while. My whole world turned around only her needs.... but i sm afraid to ask for mine or even to acknowledge that i have needs.
Good for you! Caroline you are beautiful thank you for sharing your story, I would wake up with anxiety and I couldn't even hold a fork without shaking so bad with nerves. no one came to my rescue and I couldn't expect anyone to drop their life to help me, I realize I was going to be the only one who saves ME!
I’m not waiting for a knight. I have gym and that saved my life. Best exit strategy is get sick! 🥂. They throw away sick people that can’t do anything for them!
I think thats what im in the midst of too? His tactics are ramping up but ive got mult new diagnosis and i cant do what used to as far as emotionally taking care of him, i have to focus on my needs (only option really) and he doesnt know what to do
It's been many,many years since my marriage ended. I wish I had someone like you to have guided and supported me at the time I realized I couldn't do this anymore. I did not know about narcissist's and only realized now thru increased knowledge on the subject that that's what my ex- husband was . We were together for fourteen years. Each one getting harder and harder to take. I'm sorry for your pain but glad you can help others to leave the abuse.Thank heaven we didn't have children because I wouldn't have been able to shut him out. Thank You for helping others.
i had to learn how to drive mine away..im very isolated...very streetwise...plus tearyeyes...15 years later....he withheld what was mine...emotionally im in a challenging place..
3.5 years of gaslighting left me completely wrecked. I was such a mess. My first husband was tired of me when I was pregnant with our second child. But who leaves a pregnant woman and toddler for another woman? Not him. He decided to drive me crazy so he could leave me with cause. I survived! But it was a terribly painful process. I still have PTSD, 30 years later.
I relate so much to parts of your story. He gaslighted and struck out at me (blame games) then acted like a victim and ended up stuffing it, pretending, and comforted him and another person involved. Self-harm. I love getting out of the grey jump suit into the svelte outfit. 😊 🖤
I am so moved by this video ❤️ You are being so strong and I am glad that you are making huge difference in everybody's life out their in the world who are suffering...lots of love from India 🇮🇳
I had a narcissistic mother but did not truly understand what her behaviour was all about until I was into old age. Yes we have to help ourselves, definitely. Caroline, you have done so well. Your children must be so proud of you.
After FINALLY cutting ties completely w/ my ex-I have been on a purging process, isolating myself because of either the Narc side or the Victim mentality aspect. Many of the women that were around me were in denial about thier NA or still waiting for someone else to rescue them. The men around me seem to really creep me out as they ALL seem to trigger the same red flags to me…as I focus on getting back to me, I am ok saying I JUST DON’T TRUST ANYONE right now, I’m still learning to trust myself
Omg, the black clothes. I can identify. And, sometimes, as in my case, u may discover that the narcissists in your life are not romantic interests; but these ppl now try to take advantage of you, after u become a single, or divorced, or widowed person, by trying to force u into an intimate relationship with them. I was lured into a live-in housekeeper situation with an elder narc, who my late husband & I thought of as an uncle or grandpa, only to find myself trapped in a terrible situation, where he sexually, emotionally & verbally assaulted & abused me. He & his narc frirnds/flying monkeys figured I have nobody to help me, since they conducted a smear campaign against me, driving most of the friends & family I knew, out of my life.
If this video has been helpful, please check out My FREE Masterclass
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If you are suffering because of a narcissist, remember you are loved, beautiful and worthy. Never give up on yourself! 💗
She felt "dead inside" because she WAS - when you are with a narcissist, one of you has to die, 2 individuals CANNOT EXIST when one is a narcissist, as there is no separation, no such word as an individual "self" as the narc's "self" is based on the outside, and lives like a parasite onto their victim, they are one, not 2, and the narcissist cannot live without their supply, so the victim is the one who dies, always. When you have kids, it is not a reason to stay, but a reason to LEAVE.
what really made a diffence in my life is when i found God. When I learnt over time how Gods sees me and reassures me that He loves me. This helped my more and more not to be shaken from human critisism. God tells me Im precious, beautiful and unique because He made me so He knows! I dont fall for human traps anymore even some are well ment. Let God give you your identity!
My experience also drew me closer to God and helped give me a better understanding of the sinning nature of humans. It’s helped me turn inward to repair and rebuild myself with God’s grace and teaching.
God bless you today x
Me too praise God !!!
@@inhale.exhale.2527 ask Jesus to come into your heart as your personal savior and then develop a personal relationship with him by reading the scriptures and praying fir his guidance :) amen 🙏
I have the same experience - turn to Him. Truly.
It is hard for outsiders to believe because of the charming false front of the narcissist i agree.
@Medina__anideM yep. But a little too perfect to be real.
Yeah they can have that flair and charm with such a mean second face.
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 yep
He was so charming and so believable
@@bronwyntanner4501 yep, they make it seem very believable.
They are parasites who feed off your good soul, until you are just an empty shell. Don't allow them to destroy your soul!
@Sunny Days - True but how did we attract them to feed on us. That's the main question we need to ask ourselves. We were not smart or wise enough to keep away from them. Because we were not truly whole in our self to repel these parasites. So course correct to self-love, self-care and self-recovery.🙏
@@mirelladlima5278 Absolutely true. I'm having therapy to help me heal & to realise exactly that. 💜
Yes and they will guilt trip you when you stand up for hurt feelings, boundaries or telling them you don't trust them in whatever context.
They know no guilt at all. No emotions. Maybe only frustrations and annoyance when they don't get what they want.
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 Exactly!
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 .
We beat ourselves up for being gullible and trusting... but the truth is There is no shame in trusting someone or loving someone. The lesson we take is to trust those gut feelings and break free. Be more careful next time and remember the lesson but do not beat yourself up . We’ve been beat up enough.
Barbara Mellon,hope you are not with a narcissist!
@Barbara Mellon - This is so true. Stop beating and start building our self to be strong and assertive enough not to be in any abusive situation again.🙏
Barbara, thank you so much for saying that
@@deanarjones9114 💕
Yes! There is no shame in being a good and kind hearted person, but we are automatically targets for these type of people… Cluster B loves to prey on the good ones
I never want another romantic relationship , ever again. I am isolating and I have been for a very long time. I'm like the shell of the person I once was. Your story is so inspiring thank you!!
Exactly my feelings. Hermit, over a year now.
Well, your tag name is Life's a journey let it go.. But from the comment it seems you won't let it go.. The thing is people are hurtful selfish, self-centered jerks, but don't punish yourself by denying yourself happiness in a relationship.. There are good people who do love and care. There's bad and good.. But there is someone wonderful out there for you and for anyone else who's been hurt. Listen, here's a truth that I know and have learned the hard way.. Man will fail you, but God will never fail you.. In the right moment at the right time God will bring a great person into your life.. If you want it.. But you have to "let it go" and let God work out healing if your hearts been broken, as well as the details into your happiness! You deserve love, happiness, and contentment.. I hope you choose to love again.. You're worth it! ❤
Me too. I can’t even remember who I was, or who now I’m supposed to be!
I’ve been isolated from friends and family, especially by the narcopath, for so long, that it feels normal. Now I’ve even begun to isolate myself even more! I’ve been gaslighted into believing that no one wants to be around me, every one is sick of me, nobody trusts anything I say, blah blah blah.
Took me awhile, but finally realized, then confirmed, the smear campaign he’s been waging for years!!
I know now the reasons. He wants me to feel bad, ashamed, and hurt. The more diminished I become, the more power he believes he has to keep me right where he wants me... under his thumb and his control!
Also, it was imperative for him to convince everyone, friends and family alike, that I was a liar. This way, if I try to tell anyone what horrors I endure behind closed doors, they’re not likely to believe me. They’ve been told that I’m mentally unstable, that I make things up for attention, and on and on! Now he’s playing the victim, saying how difficult I am to live with, that I “fly into a rage” with little or no provocation, and that he doesn’t believe a word that comes out of my mouth!
Well, guess what? He’s just described himself, and his manipulative, disgusting behaviors! He’s projecting.
I am caught in a nightmare of lies, deceit, slander, and verbal, emotional, psychological, spiritual , and financial abuse that I wouldn’t wish on anyone!
Honestly, I’d prefer to be punched in the face each and every day, than to endure one more minute of what feels like an agonizing, slow death....of my body, mind, and my very soul!!!!
Omgosh....... I really need help. 😢
Two years. Haven't healed at all. Same exact place
I was alone for 7 years. It took that long to recover and trust myself or someone else again
Yes, after a break up and assault from a stranger, where I was severely injured . My “loved ones” couldn’t even call me to check in - I looked at everything. Pretty much 100% of my friends were narc , sociopaths or abusers. I am very consciously choosing my friends. I had always been there for everyone, even strangers ar times. My jaw dropped at the lack of reciprocal love in my life. I’m doing great BTW 💕💕
Narcissistic abuse is the worst abuse a person can go through and unless you’ve been through it people don’t really understand it. I still grieve the person I used to be before I met ‘him’. Meanwhile he’s remarried and I often worry about how she’s coping with all his abusive behaviours. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help worrying for her.
Thank you for giving a voice to so many survivours ❤️
Don’t “worry” pray for them. Darkened souls need prayer. We all know there are No coincidences. It’s the worst experience of being lied to and then standing your ground with dignity? Well done. Be at Peace. Let your light shine.
Codependency is the foundation of being abused. You might want to check out the book of codependency.
Why shouldn't you worry about her? She is your sister and you should pray for her
Just means your a loving human I’m the same way it was really hard to accept that there is such mean ppl on this planet
I used to be so strong. I worry his future victims will end up committing suicide... if he ever finds a woman who isn’t mentally tough. Bc that is where he brought me
She is gorgeous, smart, accomplished and compassionate. You certainly don't need a man that is so threatened by you that he needs to pull you down to his level.
If he was worthy of you, he would have been building you up. Period.
Empaths draw in Narcissistic people too. They feed off the energy of healers, Spiritual folks. Any time you meet a "charming" person run the other way! Avoid them - go with the down to Earth people. This goes for men and women. Blessings to all for Protection of these types.
A lot of people who claim to be spiritual or healers are in fact narcissistic. It is this altruistic front they put to the outside world, but inside, the people closest to them get hurt behind doors. I was raised by such healer and spiritual person. Please be cautious, they are everywhere, especially where weak and injured people are looking for hope and healing.... They are the easiest to influence and manipulate, with promises of better days.... Only if you do this, this and that (always conditional)... And once you have complied, they will just move the goal post.... And no matter how hard you try, to them you haven't tried hard enough.... You didn't meditate or pray hard enough, you didn't believe in their healing abilities hard enough, etc.... Always excuses and always your fault and never theirs......... Please be cautious, learn and keep your eyes open.
I can't be near dark people...thankfully I need to be around joy...
I will, for example, fret over a construction worker who's high up on a roof in the snow. Someone I don't even know. I'll say a prayer that he doesn't fall. I worried that our painter, who was up on a scaffolding painting a high spot of the wall, would fall so I said a prayer for both him and his brother. It can be exhausting to constantly fret over people.
It’s a pattern for me
It's so nice that she focuses on how SHE felt, not what the abuser was doing. It's her feelings, her story, not his.
That’s what I thought too x
This is how I wanna tell my story.
Because he should be invisible and nonexistent and that is the best punishment a narcissist can have. It's about us and our happiness
@@thetruevine5481 Excuse me.. what?
@@Night_yawn it LLC
It changed me, in ways I’m still coping with. I don’t know the first thing about starting a relationship now, I just shut down. It’s those latent effects of a narcissistic relationship that has been the most traumatic
Most people have a PARENT who is a narcissist, either mom or dad or both....and THAT is how you wind up in relationships with a narcissist.
@STAR W Interesting perspective. That wasn't something that was an issue for me, or at least not as an adult. I cut off all contact with my family back in '04, specifically because we have almost nothing in common except a genetic phenotype. As a kid, I thought aliens must have left me with them because we were so different: different morals, different values, different politics, different world view.
I look just like them, inherited their athletic ability, but that seems to be where it ends. They mostly sicken me, especially my mother.
One think I have never worried about is adopting their warped moral character.
Children who become narcissists...or highly narcissistic...because their parents are narcissists tend to be the sort who need their parents approval. My locus of control is more internal than external.
@@stephanier6783 Girrrrl. #metoo. I haven't talked to my elderly mother or siblings (flying monkeys) in 8 years. Listening to this, I know I am doing the right thing. Not only has she never apologized (and never will) she tells me it never happened.
@@bravefitchick7184 I get you. It's very sad when you have to give up your entire family because one pathological person turns them all into flying monkeys who do their bidding. I'm sorry you've had to go through this, as well.
...and yes, they do prefer to sweep that stuff right under the rug or gaslight you and tell you it never happened (and unless you have irrefutable evidence, they'll argue their point as though it were true).
Wishing you the best as you move forward in life.
@@stephanier6783 I also waited for my "real" parents to come or the aliens to take me back to their planet. My parents always let me know I was unwanted, a waste of space, a big mistake. It's a shame anybody can breed, a real shame.
@@msdemeanour I'm sorry to read about your childhood experience. It's a heartbreaking one, for certain.
Wishing you the best going forward~
Broke free from a narcissistic relationship Dec. 19, 2005....it was the hardest life experience I’ve ever tackled! I had/have an amazing support system of Christian sisters! Studying the Bible inside and out changed my thought processes and life! Lots of growth and additional life’s lessons continue but, I now know what healthy relationships are about. Life has become much easier in identifying those who are there to cause harm and those who are there to walk by my side! There is hope and that hope is studying The Truth!
Oh yea, they can lie while staring at you... then the fury that you dared to question anything will set in, and you will be dismissed.
Oh and yes they deny and cry....very familiar.
Exactly. Plain fury bc you see the truth.
Yes they starr crying making you feel bad
I'm only 9ish minutes into watching this. I'm having the hardest time understanding how I repeatedly accepted his even though I knew things didn't feel right, as well as how would things get so twisted/manipulated that I would end up consoling him and/or letting him project it all back onto me. I used to feel so alone. I didn't realize i was married to a narcissist and what I was experiencing daily gaslighting, which is a form psychological/emotional abuse. Knowledge is power.
Yes! You’re absolutely right!
Don’t feel bad. I’ve been in this nuthouse shitshow for almost 36 years!! Spent sooo much time, (wasted), trying to be who and what he wanted me to be. Which is, of course, a futile endeavor. I was, and never be, good enough, thin enough, etc etc etc! Every time I felt that I was doing or being exactly as he wanted, he’d once again move the goalpost!!!!
It was just about 2 years ago when I accidentally found articles regarding narcissistic abuse. Suddenly a light came on! Everything they explained was exactly describing my life...my nightmare!
I had known for a very long time that things weren’t “right “...... but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I just knew it felt “yucky “. With all the gaslighting, and cognitive dissonance on my part, I actually believed it was all me, as that is what I’d been told day after day, year after year.
It felt like a huge weight came off that day. Finally, it had a name! And so did all of his manipulative, cruel, shitty behaviors. His mask cam off that day, and I could finally see the situation as it truly was.....not the self serving and abusive scenario he had drilled into my head!
Unfortunately, I have yet to free myself from this dark prison. Trying to save just enough $ to go, and go for good!
Of course, he controls ALL the money.....even my paychecks are being automatically deposited into an account that I having access to!
I’m determined to get my life back, ASAP, no matter what I have to do, or what I lose in the process.
Long road. Praying a lot
You are not alone ❤️
amen Abby, bless you girl thanks for your insight..I survived 38 years...
24 years for me,, felt like a right fool at the time when I realised what was going on, but trust me things get better and you are definitely not alone
@@lisafiedler4513 I’ve been in a few decades. Couldn’t make sense out of anything and no one would believe me. I feel like I can start to see light now that this craziness has a label. These videos are bringing me hope of understanding what I’m dealing with and how to not drown.
I'm actually an attorney and was myself in a narcistic relationship and got away, but I want to help other women.
Can you sue them for emotional damages. Literally it should be a crime
@@Mxxjzz it depends on your state's laws.
I need some advice on this, I became a smoker because of narcissistic abuse can I sue?
Had exact same experience, but in my case had to sell family home that we lived in for 25 yrs, while he fluttered off with new woman in his life, soul destroying but light at the end of the tunnel, PLEASE PLEASE anyone involved with a narcissist RUN and keep RUNNING do your best to get out and stay out 🙏
Yes! I agree.
I'm so sorry. I'm in the same boat. Mine took me for every asset we had and left me with a pile of crap. He even took my phone charger because it was better than his. I sort of laugh because that was so ridiculous but not funny when I don't have the caah to replace it. I had a spare it's just not as good. I am hoping the lawyers can help me but I fear they or the judge will even succumb to his lies
Same except we were together for 14 years , had just bought a home and 6 months later he starts having an affair with his boss . He said he didn’t want a divorce coz he wanted to take care of our son and help pay for the mortgage . They really are heartless . He happily enjoyed his time wiht his new girlfriend while I was having a hard time letting go . Divorced and still healing after 3.5 years
keeping children in the middle of a dysfunctional couple is the best way to raise a new generation of narcissists and psychopaths !
Yes that’s what I did now I see narcissism in my kids
@@Narrowpath0325 A little of narcissism is not so bad, but I fear for the next generation with all the apps on their phones ! Narcissus was falling in love with his reflect on the water, imagine what Snapchat and all those filtered selfies can do on a teen ego !
But if one leaves the court system will force the child to visit with the narc and then they are alone there without the other parent. There are no good answers. 🌈
Welcome to Germany 🇩🇪
@@tenderheart7530 , you are absolutely correct. There are no good answers once children are involved. After having been married to the narcissist for a while (the mask really came off while I was pregnant), I had a pretty good idea as to what my little one would endure with unsupervised visitation, so I stayed. I poured everything I had into parenting and both the child and I suffered horribly.
This must be the universe speaking to me. You are never going to believe that the necklace you are wearing is my design. I put your video on to listen to advice about what I’m going through and you are wearing a necklace I designed. I started to cry because the Universe has clearly just sent me a sign. Thank you 🙏 for all of this. X, Natalie Holst of
HOLST+ LEE
Wow!!! That’s amazing and sending you so much love ❤️❤️❤️
Listen
Wow it's beautiful
God doesn't play dice, Natalie.
@@susannahfox7188 you speak for God? How did you get that position? You must be very, very special.
I went through narcissistic abuse with my mother from birth, all relationships with men, my husband and also female friends. I’m 67 and still traumatized after 29 years of awareness and therapy. I’m about to undergo EMDR therapy to finally put it all to bed. I recommend the book The Body Keeps the Score.
My sister-in-law was really helped by EMDR therapy. I hope it works well for you, too.
Interesting you mention wanting to keep the family together - that's what kept me stuck for a very long time, but everyone has a breaking point at the end of the day.
It's better to come from a broken home than live in a home that's broken
And the narc will do their best to have you reach that breaking point before leaving.
This is brilliant! No one understands emotional psychological abuse of a narcissist particularly a covert narcissist, unless you've been through it. I would have given anything to have had you as a coach through my divorce. I wish I could tell my story as openly as you are.
I I Thought I was doing the right thing but I wasn’t it destroyed me I’m damaged goods and it was not fair to our son it’s wrong to stay
To begin with they look for people like us! And they find us easily! We're good people!
I think thts why they have so much anger bordering on hatred...bcos we're good ppl inside...we may break and feel insecure, need to heal, but we will...deep down they're worse off emotionally and their behaviour proves it
I have learned my lesson the hard way! I do periodically go out on dates and run at the first red flag! And I run really fast! I'm even capable of telling them the honest to God truth why too. I just don't want anymore damage to my heart!
When people say narcissistic abuse is the worst kind of abuse, there short. I lived a hard life but I never felt so confused, broken and hurt. I don’t know how to function.
nor do i...i'm 67,...disabled...he destroyed my soul, my mind...my health....he moved out a week ago...i'm safe now...
I knew I was in a toxic relationship, but never dreamed how maimed I emerged, and I know that I must fix my "picker" , because one more relationship like this will SURELY kill me
@@deb8693 I am a couple years out of the years if trauma, stress, and emotional abuse - it does get better - but there us a price. After several years , I still deal with PTSD and anxiety disorders.
My life began at the age of 40, as I typed "emotional abuse" into TH-cam. It felt as if all the people there knew me in person... Me, my parents, my wife...
The BEST counsellors, therapists, and doctors are those who have PERSONAL experience with what they are helping others with - and I'm not just referring to mental health professionals, either, but all health workers, nurses, nurses aides, techs of all kinds - when they have PERSONAL experience with what they are helping you with, it makes ALL the difference.
I feel like I'm dying atm. Hearts totally broken and my heads a mess but I will never go back. Left him so many times before and know I'll get through it. Off to the doctors on Monday. I'm so determined to get the stronger, happier me back and I will. His distorted ideas of love are becoming so clear it makes me want to vomit.
This is beyond amazing! The similarities between her story & mine are scary--2 kids, cheating, 40 in 2013, he left 😳 The pool of normal, non-narcs seems to get smaller every day. Thank you for this video, it's been several years & I'm still learning & getting stronger. God Bless all of you who are survivors--not victims, SURVIVORS!! 💕💕
I was in a marriage with a narcissist. We were together for 19 years. At the beginning the good was intense and overwhelming even that the abusive was soon visible. After we had kids it became worse and worse. After breaking up it was more of a nightmare and the kids where used by him for his purpose. It will only be over when my youngest is grown up. I learnt to deal better with it over the years by ignoring him or to act wisely with him. He tries to punish me forever for divorcing him
Oh my gosh my ex is exactly the same I attempted divorce twice before doing it the third time I never heard the end of first two attempts in our fights even now he Hoover’s and then I lower my guard then in comes the low flying guilt plane ✈️ and the bomb follows they will never stop bombing us with love and hate !!!
Even though our youngest is now 21, unfortunately, he still tries to put my name into any disagreement our daughters and he have. I am so proud of my girls because they are strong with him, and hold him responsible for his absence in their childhood....even though he lived about 1 mile or so away, he never called them on birthday's, Christmas,etc....I know it took a lot for them to oppose HIS reality(he lies so much that the lies have actually become HIS reality), because he is a volatile tyrant. He had tried to blame me for his absence by saying I refused to let them have a visit with him, but the girls held their guns and calmly told him, "No, Dad...we KNOW she didn't do that "
He’ll never stop, either! Going no contact, or in a case with children, only necessary content, by by email, texts, etc, so you can’t be sucked back into his circus!!
Omg. I can only imagine your pain for 19 years. It’s something you can’t describe with words. I’m married to a narccistist too. But I’m pregnant and I really don’t see how would I split up, not working because of my high risk pregnancy. I feel pain every single day, every single time When he insults me and gaslight me
FYI, I feel compelled to say this, but you need to know, so you will be prepared for it.
You mentioned that it will all be over once the last kid in the home is grown.
Oh, contraire!!!! It’s never over!!
After using the kids against me, telling them lies, etc, I too thought it would be “over”. They are so cruel and insidious , that they will actually carry on the smear campaign against you, using your grandchildren!!!! It’s still happening to me!!
How messed up is that? He has no problem with gaslighting our grandchildren. Believe me, they will stop at NOTHING, and use anyone and everyone in order to get to you...make you suffer!
I believe this is child abuse!!
Caroline I can relate to everything you said. I lived with a narcissist for 40 years. I an now going through divorce I am 70years of age. I lived a broken life for most if my marriage abusive everything my fault cheating lying controlling everything I was just a slave. A street angel and house devil. Yesmy advise to women living with a Narc. Run run run and never look back. Yes it's hard in the beginning but time is a healer.
I'm 55. I'll never put myself through a relationship again.
I have my own interests and I'm allowed to pursue them.
Be kind to yourself. You've earned the peace and calm. X
❤
She did such a good job describing what goes on. Very honest.
I have no idea what gaslighting is?? What woke me up was the minister barging into my home, screaming at my face... " How Dare you get rid of a good man like A" Ok #1. the minister never even knocked... #2 he is screaming! At me?... I pushed him down on the sofa and proceeded to tell him just what a good man A.... was, then I called my ministers higher up and told him what happened... The next day the minister was gone.
@Bev H - Wow. You did well. I admire your strength and assertive behavior which made you a winner over the bad situation.🙏
Wtf
Whoa!!!! That is sick.... Proud of you. We have to set our boundaries and make sure people respect our boundaries. Narcissists don't understand boundaries.
Glad we don't have minesters coming to people's house where i live:)
Wow, a minister super flying monkey! Wild
Lucky for this lady he must have been a lower level Narc. My last. Relationship no way I could have gotten my hands on his phone. Bills, cards, etc.
Really!
Yes he'll have learned from his mistake and upped his game.
His next mark will have a worse time I expect.
Feeding my heart to a wolf is my experience I can relate to everything you went through. When i asked my wife who's mens underwear was in my drawers and believed all the lies she told me. It is the most damaging form of abuse and they know it.
This is just what I needed to hear. I been stuck wanting to leave my husband and Beating myself up for wanting to. Asking myself over and over why it’s so hard for me to leave and telling myself to stay for my kids. The Emotional abuse is never ending. I keep saying to myself he is trying and he loves me and I can’t start over I’m to old. I self sabotage myself and I watch my kids do the same thing. I finally went to a counselor and I got diagnosed with depression anxiety and cognitive distance, It’s an Emotional Roller Coaster of feelings. I never would wish this on anyone. I hate Myself for not leaving for my kids emotional well being. I could barely Function daily for myself.
I'm sorry Amy, it sounds so hard I was raised in a family home just as you describe( I'm now 64) this foundation of stress caused me much pain and suffering goin through life, Low self worth, bullying, anxiety, insomnia, isolation, but I developed a relationship with God otherwise I would have ended up an alcoholic or in a cemetery.
Your husband is probably as unhappy as you and you two should discuss separation
I escaped from my narcissistic wife 8 months ago in May 2020. I had to leave my 3 kids. We were together for 22 years.
Can we speak pls
Hugs to you ❤️
Your a husband, you have a covenant with God and your wife . Family is a Gift from above, form the Father of Love. Pray for deliverance, your family needs their own. Don’t be deceived. Remember, “ Satan is an Illusionist, who predicts. God is an Illustrator, who fulfills Promises.” I’ll be praying for you, you’re in my Eternal prayer basket. Courage and Faith.
Blazinbloke, i hope you're doing ok. Do you have any update on your situation? Take courage, the future may look bleak at times, but the sun shines again.
that's right run no matter what....smart, I stayed for 38 years. raised 3 good kids.
Thank you .. im also an RTT student and recovering from a 5 year narcissistic relationship.. developed auto immune disease and short term memory loss, your story affirms my hope to get my confidence and mentality back
Keep it up 💪
short term memory loss..yes, check...he controlled my every move..i wasn't allowed to speak, express any emotion, start a conversation, or he's say, i was starting a fight and would call the rescue squad, or police if i started crying from his violent abuse saying i was "outta control", and say i was abusing him! and the cops believed him.....he's on 5 different psych. medications.....hmmmm.
Why do you believe this has to do with autoimmune disorders.
@@TheMallyjoe Chronic stress can make a person more susceptible to autoimmune disorders.
For those hoping to heal from Narcissistic Abuse, I strongly recommend the book "Letting Go: A Pathway of Surrender" by Dr. David Hawkins.
I’ve got so many books. I am so tormented still...
@@Jezebel066 - Try Counselor Carl. He has videos which I found very helpful and a help site.🙏
Ty
HG Tudor.
I devorced mine over 30 years ago, went back to school took care of my children they are all college graduates and doing real good I did it with God couldn't do it alone.Education is the key with Jesus on your side.
Wow this just showed up in my feed. I have been on my healing path since 2012😔, it feels like forever. But I was put on this path since in the womb. My mom is a narcissist and started blaming and hating me since conception. So for most of my life I just thought it was life and I was to blame for everything that ever went wrong in everyone’s life. So many many toxic, narcissistic relationships, am just starting to feel free, feeling confident and self sufficient.
Best wishes to every person that has to go through this and the healing.
I have started healing the generational patterns and my daughters have carried that on, my grandchildren look pretty good in my childhood not effecting their future.
This is why I never had kids. I had to break the cycle of abuse.
@Lisa Lambert - it's so difficult to leave the bad situation when we are young and at home. I too realised that I needed to heal myself from my past, my unresolved issues, my childhood hurts, my emotional abuse. it is only due to lockdown be that I got the time and opportunity to go on an inward journey of healing and self-recovery. I benefited from inner child healing meditation videos that helped me heal from childhood abuse.🙏
I am encouraging all 3 of my daughters, all in their 20s, to get help. I want to break the cycle also
Left a very physically and emotionally abusive narcissist 2 years ago. I’ve isolated myself, went into this depressive situation, became an alcoholic, gained tons of weight, and just now trying to recover from the relationship. I’ve finally got the gumption to tell him to leave me alone.
Omgosh can I relate to this story so strongly that I'm holding back tears- hats off to this lady for her strength 💪
The difference with you is that you are teaching what you have been through.
Caroline you are a strong, beautiful, amazing lady. Thank you for your courage for sharing your life experience. I too was in a narcissistic abusive relationship. I left before it got really bad. But all of my gaslighting thoughts were validated when I found proof he was cheating. But we move on and learn to love ourselves again.
Years after I left my longtime abuser his ex law partner contacted me. My ex had lost his law license, had a stroke which he never fully recovered from, lost his home and was living in a run down bug infested roadside motel. My ex told me that he knew why God allowed all of the horrible things to happen to him. He said it was because of all of the horrible things he did to me. A few months later my ex had a second stroke and died alone at the hospital. I am so thankful my ex is no longer alive to abuse me or anyone else. I still suffer negative effects of his abuse but I am a survivor. I now put my energy into rescuing and advocating for animals in need.
When you stay in an abusive relationship, it's like hanging curtains while in federal prison.
Brilliant analogy 👍🏼
Great analogy..
WOW! That says it all!
I am in the process of divorcing my narc husband of 21 years. After giving so much to the relationship and getting Nothing in return, I stopped. I started treating him the way he treated me (even though it went against who I inherently was as a person). I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was cutting off his supply and he didn’t like it. He eventually told me he wasn’t happy and wanted to end our marriage. I was devastated even though I had been terribly unhappy for most of our marriage, I had told myself you stay married at all cost and especially for our daughter, who shouldn’t have to come from a broken home. Little did I realize it was already a broken home. I went into counseling to help me deal with the end of my marriage and learned only then that I was married to a Narcissist and everything I had experienced all made sense. I had been trying to change him all those years but it was like trying to change a lion into a lamb, completely futile!! I am getting stronger everyday and happy to see my old self coming back to life. It’s both encouraging and sad that so many other people have been abused the way I have been. I pray there is a beautiful life waiting for all of us.
I’m in the middle of trying to come out of this nightmare I have been in for 38 years.
Get out while you are still "alive"!! You can do it! 👍👍
Me too! Over 35 years now, I’ve completely lost myself. I do not know who I am anymore. I do know, however, all my flaws, shortcomings, mistakes,etc, as I have literally been informed and brainwashed every single day for years and years!!
Now accumulating the knowledge and the truth, and desperately trying to figure out the actual logistics to get myself free!
40 for me
Mine left me for a brother in laws little sister. A social worker! She is about to get a PhD in narracist/sociopath behavior! I’m thankful out and was so damn brain washed. Money missing, cheating, and so many lies. They are pathological liars! The one he is dating and moved her into his hosue after divorce (her boss was our therapist and knows my ex is a narc! Years of my life lost! 27 years of my life gone with a very sick man.
Bless you. I'm out of a 30 year marriage with a narcissist. Run. Don't walk. You can do it. No regrets. Life goes on. Get free.
"The only person whose going to rescue me is me!" Truth... with Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior's help. 💘🙇🏼♀️
Well said Vickie and totally true❤️
@@noracoyle4988 thank you, sister. 🥰
Amen!
Amen!
Yes!!!! Exactly what I am trying to do by divorcing a narcissist. Hardest thing I've ever had to do next to having lost my 1st spouse to cancer in 2021.
Really enjoyed your talk. You are a very gifted speaker and I can tell you are the type of person that bring a lot of positive energy to a room. Blessings to you for taking charge of your life again and helping many other women in the process. :)
A simple rule; if someone does < any abuse > , it will be done again and again---- + no rescue boat is on the way---------- very simple!!...why try to fix it?-------- Run!!
Oh my gosh !!! I wouldn’t look in the mirror and I was cutting the bottom of my feet so no one would know and after the 16th year I had a psychotic break. The thoughts of anybody else going thru what I did makes me sick!!! Lord have mercy I am so so sorry for any soul that goes thru it!!!
Brilliant the way you jumped out of that track suit was bad ass. Thank you for your dedication and kind heart 💜
Wish I had heard you 35 years ago , got shivers when you spoke about ex saying he thought he had killed someone . And yes the damage was done when I was a child . I like the fact she is down to earth :)
My ex narc told me he would have no problem killing someone who made him mad enough. And that everyone is replaceable.
Sick. Talk about holding fear. I got out as quickly as possible!
Thank you Caroline, my last 2 relationships were actually both narcissists, I hadn't realised it at the time but now I can see how I could be a target for them. I got so hurt, I haven't been in a relationship for 5yrs now as I don't trust anymore. Never good enough stems from my childhood which I hated. As an empath I get so hurt by life and just want to hide away from people. Im so glad to find you and subscribe. Take care lovely Lady. Julie 🌹
Your story allowed me to cry after a long while, years of not being able to.... thank you!!
💙💙💙
100 percent my story of my marriage and life with a narcissist! Thank you for sharing!!
L Rubio,You look stunning 🌹🌷 dear
This is amazing! I love how real and open you are. Now I understand what was “wrong” with me during and after the time I went through two narcissistic partners. No therapist I’ve seen was able to help me understand like this! Thank you!!
You are an amazing woman. I would give my left foot to have you coach me! I am still currently married to my husband who is a covert narcissist. When you said you wanted to walk around with a mega phone saying HE'S NOT REALLY LIKE THIS ....I feel that way too. I've been with him for 14 years and he has been gaslighting me for most of the time until I figured it out. I also isolate. I depend on him financially 100 percent. We have a daughter that is only 6 years old. I am desperately trying to get out of my depression and anxiety and have been educating myself on Narcissistic abuse. Thank you for all the work you are doing to help woman get out of the Hell this is.
I found this very helpful, can strongly relate to your experience - thank you for sharing.
Suzanne Green 🙏❤️
Suzanne Green,hope you are not with a narcissist!
@@CarolineStrawsonHealing Hi,can you tell ,did you break as a sczophernia,I mean do you have a phsycotic breakdown as a sczophernia?
Love your story thanks for sharing! Sharing your story help people to not be afraid to speak out and also to help a individual to have validation.
This is great
using our pain yo help others is the most effective healing tool we posess
I love it when you starting from 16:00. :-) only you can rescue yourself. Prince Charming is unlikely to come along
My ex was a textbook narcissist... And I have experienced every characteristic they are capable of. The lying to ur face is just disgusting and disrespects you to Yr very soul. They make you question everything, and twist ur mind in scary ways. Like you he even had the women he was cheating with lie to me...comforting to know that I am not the only woman who has been thru this nightmare.
My mum had a brain tumour and while my brother and I cared for her for a year he was cheating lying, screaming at abusing me.
I walked away 1.5 yrs ago and still can't believe what I lived thru for almost 5 yrs.
I was a person with some confidence and identity then i married him,,, became suicidal, lost all,,became a shell, a shell,
I'm praying for you. Seek help you are not alone.
Wow! so beautiful and heartfelt. I went through narcissistic abuse for five years until I ended in a bad place. I just broke up with another bf because he created false expectations and gaslighted me. However, this time I feel different because I have regained my power because I understood no one is going or has to rescue me. I need to pay more attention to stop the circle of attracting a certain type of man. Work in progress, but I do feel the time I will overcome the trauma. I am focusing on myself and my goals. Thank you for sharing.
Your comments are very good, make a lot of sense and I started to follow you today. My daughters and I are victims of narcissist abuse and I truly want to believe that we can thrive!!!!! Thank you !!
Wow,my Narc husband and losing my mother to Cancer, I can relate every word you said,Glad I came across you, Keep the family together is still I existed in the relationship rather living my life
Enyoyed your story. Finished last year with my covert narc girlfriend she walked out like I was a discarded sweet wrapper. On parting saw this mask slip . I saw the spirit of jezabel. The hate this thing had for me was tangible. I was gonna committe suicide but the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said what does darkness and lite have in common. It didnt make things easier s but I relaxed that god was saying she his no good. All the best mick
Jesus bless you man of God
I believe the tooth fairy cursed my narc and that is why he abuses me. I saw the spirit of Trump in him.
@@DaylanTheAngrySauerkraut Why are you so cruel? Why are you adding to this person's pain? It sounds very much like what a Narcissist would say.
I'm mostly estranged from my twin sister who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). After decades of my looking for her acceptance and always being criticized, I've distanced myself. After a phone conversation a month ago, I'm no longer answering her calls or texts and will only include her in group email with my other sister. It's the only way to take care of myself. I've been clean and sober for decades, been to therapy, and attended Al-Anon, Adult Children of Alcoholics, Codependents Anonymous, and Alcoholics Anonymous (my primary program). I live 2300 miles from my dysfunctional and have plans to retire even further away. I've rebuilt my "family" by connecting deeply to program friends and connect only with 2 family members--one who is in recovery. To people who say, "Oh, you have a bad program because you haven't mended your relationship with your twin sister," I simply reply, "I've already made my amends. Now I'm drawing boundaries. You're not familiar with NPD, are you?"
Thank you. My healing journey is including you. You give me hope.
Amazing work, amazing lady! I am going through this exact situation as a male empath in a relationship.
After 8 years of marriage being discarded, it hurts, it hurts a lot - but I quickly realized by not letting it
Get to me, it took her power away…. If your not happy in the relationship, there’s the door I’ll find my own happiness without you!
Wow, I do believe it all starts from childhood. It is a cycle of life depending on what cycle you went through. In my case I have a narcissist Dad, our lives revolved around my parents. As I became a wife I really started to see the cycle I went through and I knew I was not going to do that to my kids. I catch myself and I apologize to my kids and why I behaved that way. I went through a lot of therapy and still do. It has only made my life better and I am able to see who I am. When I broke down I was lost and had no idea who I was or where I was going in life. My mother was also bi-polar which is another story. The great news is I feel free and have removed people out of my life that are toxic.
Hi there, I feel like you have a valuable story! would you be willing to speak on my podcast? its called trauma storm and the mission is to help those suffering through family trauma but also sexual abuse through sharing of stories and also speaking with professionals. I would love to have an episode on the effects of narcissism. if you are willing to tell your story let me know! Search up "trauma storm" on Spotify and you'll find my podcast.
Thank you
Fun fun talk. I really enjoyed this. I married a wonderful narcissist for twenty years. I could barely talk to other people I felt so bad about myself. My mom was an alcoholic narcissist, so I have been attracted to the personality type. They are the most fantastic liars and such big victims of the world. Don’t be victimized by the victim.
This lady is excellent at this. This is exactly what I needed to hear tonight.
It does stop when your youngest child turns 18. Thank you for this. I still need confirmation, 19 years later, that I didn't imagine it. Thank you for putting out this video. I did the right thing.
I don’t even think the crowd fully knew the pain by the giggles about consolidating your ex and the supply. It’s not funny. It’s literally THAT painful and confusing. Thank you so much for this video and sharing your story ♥️
Thank you for saying it's not funny. It really isn't.
I felt the same it's not funny it's painfull and tragic
Hi. No it's not funny and I don't think the audience was laughing that way. I think they were laughing along with the speaker because that is how she presented it to them. ".....and GUESS what I did?" It's LAUGHABLE, because it's so ridiculous and outrageous. No one in that audience thinks her experience is funny. I sure hope not.
@@karashea7823 I agree. It's laughable for the audience. The fun factor might be weak behind the curtains in real life.
Yes. It's not at all funny. I was actually crying. I could relate. Felt bad that she went through such a pain as well.
I am the mother of a man that is married to a narcissistic woman. They have a 5 year old. Her emotional abuse and sometimes physical is relentless. I have also fallen to being one of her victims. I’ve pushed back and for that I am now estranged from both my son and grandchild. Interesting when “they” need money it is ok for my son to contact me. When I saw no (because I can’t as I gave out of job for 2 years and drawing money from my retirement fund), I become the target of a barrage of manipulative and abusive texts.
I am writing this for 2 reasons. First men are also victims of narcissistic abuse. Everything I’ve read and listen to refers to the man being the narcissistic abuser. Second, with a broken heart, I’ve made the decision to cut off my son and focus on taking care of me. I worry about my granddaughter the most but I am truly helpless to help her. The only way that I may possibly help is to not continue feeding the narcissistic abuse.
I found this video extremely helpful. I think that I could use the material to help myself. I will explore her website and get more information.
I lived this same life too and when I listen to someone else tell it I can’t believe I stayed as long as I did.
36 years of this , so sad divorce came as he went to prison , for growing pot , messing with my daughters 18 year old friend, had many houses set up with many others , I lost , my home , my car , my 13 year business, and after 8 years , he came telling me how sorry , and he would buy me a house , on and on , charming for sure , then the truth comes out again , just played me like a fiddle, I was full of pain , confusion, lonely , and starting over in my 60 , didn't even know what all this was... but now my eyes are open , and I'm on the road to joy , .. he is blocked .
I’ve been down that road.with a narcissist, This is going to be so good for women going through a narcissistic relationship.💕🦋
Ahhh yes. Mine even went behind my back to plead his side to my folks before I could tell them what was going on in my marriage. He managed to have MY OWN family pitying him and calling to "talk sense into me" and asking me to forgive him. Blew me away! He had cleverly taken away my support system. Such a cunning a-hole.
superunknown70,You don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
Superunknown70 me too!!! It was horrifying!
My mom did the same. She cut me off from my grandma, my dad and others. I learned about my grandfather (still alive), my aunts, uncles and cousins only in adult hood. The first time in my life that i sat on my grandfathers lap was in adulthood after my mothers death, holding my daughter, his great grand daughter in my arms. I never got to grow up with my cousins, i didnt even know they existed. All my cousins grew up together except me. They have always been a tight family..... But i was denied that... My mom kept regular contact with her dad, so it angers me how come i never got to see or know about my grandfather when i was a child..... Narcissists will isolate you to control you.... And it it is sick to what extent they will do it. I grew up without support system... My mother kept moving home and kept switching my school so i could never develop long lasting friendships... Now i feel emotionally crippled coz i dont know what family is, what a true long lasting friendship is, what stability is. I have severe ptsd, and my body is in constant flight or fight mode coz i am so anxious in social setting because of my feelings of inadequacy. I am learning social skills now as an adult... Coz the only thing i knew was how to please my mother and when to run and hide to save my skin when her rage was awakening. I knew to make fried eggs for her in the middle of the night if i heard her busy at her computer in the late hours... This always got her in a good mood and made me somewhat safe for a while. My whole world turned around only her needs.... but i sm afraid to ask for mine or even to acknowledge that i have needs.
Good for you! Caroline you are beautiful thank you for sharing your story, I would wake up with anxiety and I couldn't even hold a fork without shaking so bad with nerves. no one came to my rescue and I couldn't expect anyone to drop their life to help me, I realize I was going to be the only one who saves ME!
I’m not waiting for a knight. I have gym and that saved my life. Best exit strategy is get sick! 🥂. They throw away sick people that can’t do anything for them!
I see what you mean but he only has made me sicker
I think thats what im in the midst of too? His tactics are ramping up but ive got mult new diagnosis and i cant do what used to as far as emotionally taking care of him, i have to focus on my needs (only option really) and he doesnt know what to do
That is so true... Unless they are some sort of healer and you are paying them money. They do anything for money.
😂
OMG So true!
It's been many,many years since my marriage ended. I wish I had someone like you to have guided and supported me at the time I realized I couldn't do this anymore. I did not know about narcissist's and only realized now thru increased knowledge on the subject that that's what my ex- husband was . We were together for fourteen years. Each one getting harder and harder to take. I'm sorry for your pain but glad you can help others to leave the abuse.Thank heaven we didn't have children because I wouldn't have been able to shut him out. Thank You for helping others.
i had to learn how to drive mine away..im very isolated...very streetwise...plus tearyeyes...15 years later....he withheld what was mine...emotionally im in a challenging place..
I feel you. I am too! It is so hard!
3.5 years of gaslighting left me completely wrecked. I was such a mess. My first husband was tired of me when I was pregnant with our second child. But who leaves a pregnant woman and toddler for another woman? Not him. He decided to drive me crazy so he could leave me with cause. I survived! But it was a terribly painful process. I still have PTSD, 30 years later.
What a amazing woman you are...🤗
I relate so much to parts of your story. He gaslighted and struck out at me (blame games) then acted like a victim and ended up stuffing it, pretending, and comforted him and another person involved. Self-harm.
I love getting out of the grey jump suit into the svelte outfit. 😊 🖤
Such a good explanation of gaslighting in a relationship!
It takes about seven years to heal from a Narcissist marriage with therapy
But there's an end
No contact
Moved away
And now I am thriving
I relate to this so much. Narcissistic husband cheats and then tells me that its my choice whether I break up our family or not 😠
I am so moved by this video ❤️
You are being so strong and I am glad that you are making huge difference in everybody's life out their in the world who are suffering...lots of love from India 🇮🇳
Comforting the narcissist..my goodness she is spot on 😭😭😭
I had a narcissistic mother but did not truly understand what her behaviour was all about until I was into old age. Yes we have to help ourselves, definitely. Caroline, you have done so well. Your children must be so proud of you.
Blessings and love to you! Thank you so much for your testimony/talk. Can relate on many levels 😢💔
After FINALLY cutting ties completely w/ my ex-I have been on a purging process, isolating myself because of either the Narc side or the Victim mentality aspect. Many of the women that were around me were in denial about thier NA or still waiting for someone else to rescue them. The men around me seem to really creep me out as they ALL seem to trigger the same red flags to me…as I focus on getting back to me, I am ok saying I JUST DON’T TRUST ANYONE right now, I’m still learning to trust myself
You too , Bless our heart's 😘 I'm also a Gemini ♊👌😆
Omg, the black clothes. I can identify. And, sometimes, as in my case, u may discover that the narcissists in your life are not romantic interests; but these ppl now try to take advantage of you, after u become a single, or divorced, or widowed person, by trying to force u into an intimate relationship with them. I was lured into a live-in housekeeper situation with an elder narc, who my late husband & I thought of as an uncle or grandpa, only to find myself trapped in a terrible situation, where he sexually, emotionally & verbally assaulted & abused me. He & his narc frirnds/flying monkeys figured I have nobody to help me, since they conducted a smear campaign against me, driving most of the friends & family I knew, out of my life.
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Thank you for helping us all through this type of nightmare. I'm a year now no contact and after 11 years it feels great