Brian went through an incredible transformation after divorcing his narcissist wife. His story is truly inspiring and proof that your life can improve 10x after your heal and recover from narcissistic abuse. If you're still stuck in a brain fog after a narcissist discard and would like to work directly with me on your recovery, visit my website for more details on how to schedule a private 1 on 1 coaching session: psychopathexposure.com/coaching If you'd like to support the channel, feel free to buy me a coffee: www.buymeacoffee.com/kirayagami
It’s good to see men addressing these issues.I am currently going through my own process.I was married for 10 years and just like his story my wife got married before we were even divorced(VEGAS).She discarded me at the worst time of my life,3 months after my mom passed and it’s been 8 months and I’ve done some healing and did my shadow work but I am still healing but focused on me.Thanks for this testimony!
Yup. We have had many arguments over the years. Some my fault, some hers. I always apologized for when I was wrong. And have even apologized when I KNEW she was wrong. I would apologize because she would go days being angry and contemptuous toward me and our children... I felt that if we were ever going to reconcile then it was up to me.... 🤦🏻♂️
Narcissistic abuse is psychological abuse and that's why it's so damaging. The narc tries to make you feel how they feel inside. This should be criminal.
I'm not collecting my evidence for no reason. It is criminal. Have you written down what gaslighting, blamed shifting, love bomb, looks like on paper? if you you handed it to anybody that knew nothing about narcissism the they would say this does not make sense. the crazy thing is Most of the people experienced this Doesn't even know narcissism exist. But I guarantee If you get together a book and a narc victim, Every word in that book is gonna match that victim to a T. And that is the day they awaken😁🥰
Prove it in court? the narcissists would just manipulate the judge but when smart victims think outside the Box they will document everything. In a narc relationship A voice recorder is your best friend and life saver. They're angel in the streets and devils at home. When you bring up one subject The conversation doesn't end because they blame shift, gaslight, manipulate, convince, To where the story changes so many times that you can that you can even remember where the conversation started. The conversation can be as simple as I want to tighten the chain link fence today. Can anybody tell me what's wrong with that simple with that simple statement. that's why it's good 2 record so you can pit point where the blame shift started Because at the end of the conversation hes gonna blame you. don't forget you just got gas you just got gas lighted😜 He's getting so bad to where hes even being rude on Normal day-to-day happy conversations. I think I have a serial narc. And when I get on my notes/ Recordings lined up lined up I wanna make an ebook. So tell the judge that because if she don't believe what's on the recorder then she's Crooked.
@@pinkrainbowkennelz1640 document document document, I just won against the malignant ex narc in court last week. I wasn't trying to prove to the judge that he is a narcissist, I proved that he's an abusive, lying, stealing creature in a suit.
Mother comment so true, afraid you will tell your mother about the abuse, mine used Bible verses to try and say you are older now, need to leave mother and cleave to wife. Leave meant abandon
Don't be deceived, this man is being transparent and honest. This is a man that many women would appreciate and value, even cherish. If this helps one person, Thanks Be To GOD!
Divorcing my covert narc wife of 20 years currently. No contact for 3 weeks and I’m seeing how dilusional I was. I chose my head in the sand because it was less painful than the truth. The hardest part is that nobody gets it!!! I think it’s impossible to get it unless you’ve lived it. The shit she has done to me is unimaginable. I love the conversation, love the solutions offered. This is a bigger problem in society than people realize. Oh, and get this, my wife is a professional mental health therapist! Life has an incredible sense of humor😂
"Oh, and get this, my wife is a professional mental health therapist! Life has an incredible sense of humor" Not surprised in the least. "Physician, heal thyself." How are you getting on?
@@tauruswinds37 Your right. I fought door to door Fallujah. And was a cop in the poorest county in the country. And that was easy compared to dealing with this evil sob.
Yes. You're right. It changes us. I feel forever changed and not to mention my kids. It's should be criminal. I use positive distractions to move forward as well as telling my story. I want prevent others for going through this if possible. I'm currently studying was causes this. It's dangerous for our health and said. Noone understands except those of us that experience it.
@@fleecejohnson6939Healing can start in the gym, or working out at home. Build yourself into what you want to, and stay mindful. This really does require reprogramming your brain from all the trauma which means making new connections. You lived for them for too long, so now it's time to live for you. Most importantly: do not engage them, and if you have to be around them for some reason, you need to say no and keep boundaries. Don't let them back in. This especially applies if your disordered ex is a borderline, as they will likely try and come back at some point. I know mine did. A lot. Every time you let them back in, you send the message to them that what they did to you was ok and that you're willing to accept abuse.
Remember that the trauma bond is established first being love bombed. The cause a physical addiction to the chaos and the person. They cause so much stress in you that instinct floods your blood stream with cortisol and hormones then they will soon start a sex session with you that causes instinctive Dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin and estrogen w testosterone in it and those are the pleasure neurotransmitters same as are released when people do cocaine. The addiction to the rush of physiologic withdrawal just like a drug. So there's a bit more to it than just detaching and no contact. The withdrawals go on and the narcissist will pull you back in the same way they have se while you are fighting. It takes some of us years to get out from under trauma bond.
My therapist nailed it on the head. If you honestly feel like they’re cheating on you, then they’re probably cheating on you. It’s a slow process where you find yourself tolerating behavior you’d never have put up with originally.
The best advice. I’ve been an artist for over 20 years. I have created so many pieces of artwork, drawing, painting, sculptures etc. when I met him he mirrored me. Held a few paintbrushes. I let him into my world. 2 years in he said my work was shit. He took the light of my soul with that 1 comment. I didn’t draw or create anything else. His advice of do the things you did before you met them. Resignation indeed! To see this strong man describe the hell we all lived. Blows my mind. Truly does. Narcissistic abuse should be a criminal offense! Psychological abuse should be a criminal offense. The mfs bring you to the brink of suicide and that laugh in your face. Absolutely insane. F#%. The Narcissist Psychopath. Empowering content. Thank you. 🙏
Yo there's plenty to say but most people don't listen & are quick to put down a guy. I honestly was treated like a battered housewife for years yet it sounds unbelievable to most.
With my ex girlfriend, I was sleeping with the devil, looking into her eyes and having evil in my own house. God saved me and protected me from the evil one.
Dude! Brian!! YES!! 20 years married to my narcissistic ex-wife. “My reality was distorted by her.” Bro preach. Never being able to keep up with her insatiable wants and desires. Narcissists know exactly how to figure out how to hurt you. You will lose yourself as you chase after narcissists.
Any advice you can give me? I am at the beginning of a divorce of married 23 years and kids. Same situation of a narcissist wife. It is so lonely sometimes.
What I’ve learned in these last two years of recovery is that it all starts with having self-worth and healing any codependency wounds you may have and taking the time to do the work. Remember at the end of the day good women come from good families and that they have a great relationships with her parents and most importantly that she respects her father.
Very True R N... The lack of respect my ex had, or didn't have for her father was the most glaring red flag I overlooked. After months of crawling out of a mental gulag after a forced break up, I remembered conversations of her referring to her father as pathetic. I wasn't a push over so she devalued me through withholding sex, affection, mood swings, breaking up and getting back together. The relationship with the father is a BIG ONE!
I had a similar experience, her dad did so much for her and she called him ‘useless’. That stuck with me, I recognize that would be turned onto me one day. Right now I’m out, broke the engagement off. Going though tough times but I’ve been though a childhood of abuse, scapegoat and workhorse child, I will get through it.
I had no mother and a father who was sexually abusive to me and siblings our whole childhood. I spent time in kids homes and I have very strong morals and values and am a decent person. Not all people from bad back ground are narcissistic. And There are plenty of narcissistic people who come from great parents and loving homes.
The first 5 mins of hearing you talk i knew exactly what you were talking about you must have went through hell I did when it was over I didn't even know who I was anymore I was devalued so bad that I almost wanted to kill myself I was so depressed for at least 2 months not knowing what was going on the manipulation,gaslighting etc. I did everything for her and her kids hell even her dog I can relate to everything you are talking about i have listened to so many video's on narcissist I should probably have a phd by now
Been there too. Glad you stayed on this side and fought thru. Been out 30 days and can laugh again and value my dreams again. Great video, Kira brings TRUTH.
@@HACKED787 It will all change trust me just give it time and you will find out everything they claimed they didn't like about you or devalued you about is totally different with the next person you meet its gonna be hard for women like that to meet men like us and the funny thing is they look for the same type of man they left, focus on yourself not them
Great interview! I'm 76 and decided to divorce my wife of 7 years; I could never make her happy. I lived with a constant stream of criticism. My friends and family were driven away. It was hell. I finally went to a shrink, sat down and told her I needed to understand why I was still in such a miserable marriage. That was 3.5 years ago. Now I understand. And the marriage has ended. But, the hope is still with me that the stress of the divorce will change her and she will be what I want... I know with my brain she will never change. It's getting that message to my heart that is the problem. Just a little too old for body building............
No, there is no communication. But I am still in transition and have not built an effective circle of friends for support. Right now… just me and my dog.
This is so freaking healing. Hearing the same issues from a big buff man that I have experienced as a somewhat small woman proves to me that it's not any of our faults. We trusted. We cared. We sacrificed. And hopefully now, we'll all leave the abusers behind. Oi vei! Thank you for all you do, Brother! 💕
I fought door to door through Fallujah and revived Purple Heart and Bronze Star with v device. I also was a decorated swat police officer. And she has destroyed me completely. Everytime I muster the coverage. I look at my two little ones and I just can’t leave them just can’t.
@@pissonthe0fighteverybody276 First, thank you so damn much for your brave service. I know what you feel so much, one the keys to healing from these monsters is allowing your feelings to be exposed, show the hurt, ask for help, it is NOT weakness, it is the opposite, its nothing but courage! I hid being abused for 12 years from literally everyone to protect her, now one year removed, I don't give an F who sees me hurt, in pain, sobbing sometimes for no damn reason whatsoever, still a year removed. I am surrounded by friends and family who have been amazing supportive as i heal from my experience. If anyone thinks I am weak and doesn't like it, more than fine, you are exactly who I don't want in my life if you think that so thanks for letting me know and not wasting any time on you! Trust is difficult enough for me these days I do not need anyone like that near me. I too have 3 kids, grown now, leaving them brutally hard, but it turned out to be the best thing for us all. She had all but separated me from the three of them anyway for several years by the time I was out, so happy to have them back in my life and be healthy together! Hang in there brother!
Anyone with a compassionate and loving heart can potentially be abused by these monsters. I lived with it for 20 years before I finally got to the point of not giving a rat’s behind. I had two kids but I knew I literally couldn’t stay alive if I had to continue in that kind of hell. I told her I didn’t care anymore and anytime she tried to diminish me I’d just smile and walk away. That’s what I did and it was incredibly liberating and actually enjoyable sensing her startled reactions. Lasted a short time before she was spending all her nights with her new victim (poor sapp). Now it’s been 23 great years and the last 20 of those with the most incredible woman in the world. DON’T stay with a narcissist.
I can relate to the story, nothing was ever good enough to them I felt like I always fell short of her expectations. I blieve to recover you need to full your life with positivity.
Thank you. This is fantastic. Am going through this now. Divorce proceedings are totally crazy with all the lies. Good thing i kept all my documents, receipts, insurance, etc intact. She is insane. So glad its coming to an end. 21 yrs gone down the drain. 2 grown children. Very sad but the next part of my life - my 2nd Act, will be a good one. I gotta serve myself for once. And of course take care of my kids.
I also felt “20 years down the drain”. That was 23 years ago. But I wouldn’t be the person I am without having survived that. I would not be able to offer support to other men going through this. I wouldn’t have the two great kids that I have. And I wouldn’t have found and instantly recognized the diamond of a wife that I now am celebrating 20 unbelievable years with. Use those 21 years of misery to build back a far better you. May God bless your future life.
A narcissistic immigrant wife manipulating a man for a green card. Sounds exactly like my situation. I live this man's pain. You give them everything and they will never be happy so now I'm giving her a divorce to make myself happy.
Me too except I went through two narcasistic marraiges...two green cards and one nationality!!! I probably will never trust a man again!!!! Every thing happens for a reason...if a man is in my future I feal sorry for them because trust is something I got to work on before moving on!!! Peace ☮️
Just wanted to say what an incredible man and human being Brian is. Thank you both for your inspiration. God bless you both 🙏PS I am 71 years old and even at this stage of my life it’s never too late to learn. You both are masterful mentors !!!
Excellent interview, lots of great info + motivation + inspiration. "Narcissists, it's like they have a playbook" 😂😂 crazy but true... Feels good to know I'm not the only one who survived a master manipulator.Thanks for sharing
Thank you for sharing your story Brian. Narcissist and psychopaths bring out the worst in all of us .In my personal experience female psychopaths scare me more than male psychopaths!
I fought door to door through Fallujah and received a bronze star with v device. I also was a decorated swat police officer. And she completely destroyed me in every way. No humiliation spared they know what will control you. She knows I want leave my little ones. I just can’t she’s so evil. I understand now when some men would tell me after I arrested them for domestic violence. Man just don’t understand. I do now. I can see where a man could finally snap. I’m twittering on that edge 10 years of just being hounded like by a evil regime. There so low down and they cut where it hurts.
love this video. Transformative. my "experience" was 30 years and I felt like I was watching someone interviewing me. We are still in the middle of our divorce, because she keeps dragging it out (2 years) to keep an easy target to attack, and, since splitting up...I got incurable cancer...almost a tragic comedy but, honestly?, my cancer life is still immeasurably better. If you are living this life, its not you...the narcissistic monster just beats you down until you believe it.
I understand the time "wasted" I spent from 18yrs old till 41yrs old with my exhusband narcissist. 3yrs out now I too struggle with resentment of lost time...but I may have 40 more yrs left to have a better life!
I think this is an excellent conversation and one that more men need to have more. What a great interview, it was great to hear your guest be honest about his past experience with a female narcissist. We need more men speaking up about these toxic female narcissists, which is something I intend to do. Additionally, I hope that I can bring you on my podcast soon to discuss your experiences and your channel. Keep up the great work. You are a real soldier. I think a lot of the things that this gentleman said were legit and real. It’s all about how we move on from experiences that are traumatic and or mentally abusive. You have to take it one day at a time, but not be a victim, at the same time, you have to acknowledge that you were victimized. Yup, they are similar. Party girls. Everything is about these narcs. The great sex to withholding. So many red flags we ignore. Excellent discussion. Excellent.
I could feel Brian's hurt and betrayal in his voice and expression. Thank you for sharing. To see such a smart and seemingly virile man share his experience has given me a glimpse of hope!
I can relate - I am 58 and was discarded after 15 years of marriage. I am still going through it - 7 months in …. 21 weeks ago, I hired a nutritional coach (an ex IFFB bodybuilder) and started hitting the gym 7 days per week. I have since lost 50 lbs and the toxic fog is slowly lifting - my daughter told me: “Mom- go to the gym and make the pain your bitch” - Lol - that’s what I did - still have my moments but your channel has helped tremendously…. The self defeating thought of no one would want to date an old woman is slowly fading too - I feel much healthier and actually younger - my mindset is shifting - it’s a process. Thanks for sharing your story
They are exactly as you said. They are demon possessed. Narcs go after empaths, God’s children for lack of a better word. They see the light (God) in you and they literally want to snuff it out. Their absolute goal is for you to commit suicide. They have so much hatred, envy, etc inside of them that they wish that they were you
I have just found your channel on you tube . This is one of the best interviews I have seen from a male side of this evilness. The first 5 mins you can see your pain behind your eyes & the restlessness in your body. I just wanted to give you a hug. You really did show every aspect of what it’s like of how it does effect us all . What they put us through is the same & how we feel in & out of it is what we feel . You are right no one understands & no one gets why you feel the way you do. I have boundaries up now that I won’t backdown on. Thankyou for your story, you will help a lot of people & especially men for hearing this. Love to you both 💕 & Love for everyone that has been through this.
Thank you for your videos. A LOT of people need this. It's so easy to feel alone, like you're the only one who went through this. It feels so lonely. Then you come across little gems like this and honestly, it makes me feel vindicated. I want to tell all those people who've yelled "Oh just get over it!" about how widespread this kind of thing is, for men AND women, and how it effects so many people in the same way it's effected me.
I think some of the people that say get over it. Most are narcs or narc like too. No empathy. They want you to get over it so they can be the head narc over you. A so called narc friend, or narc family member etc. Narcs also recognize each other and call each other out. They also want to ruin you and will encourage you to date and marry a narc to watch you get destroyed but then they are jealous they lose the main control over you till you get discarded. Then they swoop you back up to finish you off. Its so demonic. We are battling demons one after another. I would what these narc women do to get the good guys. We need good women with the good men.
@@janetromey7522 Jezebel Spirits! The richer / more popular / wealthier / more athletic / more gifted a person is OR the more beautiful a woman is or the more handsome a man is, the more likely the Jezebel Spirit has already taken root and completely taken over that individual's actions. Being able to discern who has this evil spirit is key. You will know them by their actions and the way they treat others. Be very observant how they treat others. Because this world is naturally attracted to beautiful things, the Jezebel Spirit has the upper hand with influencing the general public to buy into his/her narrative about you, should you not be as "beautiful" as Jezebel. Keep in mind, God (Jesus) was crucified because there is no beauty there that we should desire him (Isaiah 53). A few of the red flags of the Jezebel Spirit to look out for: No empathy. Conceited. Proud. Arrogant. Braggarts. Interrupts others. Talks over others. Easily offended. Gloating about their own accomplishments or gloats about others misfortunes. Constantly gossiping. Anyone possessing these traits, you can bet your bottom dollar is vindictive and wants vengeance against anyone who "humbles" them. Jezebel Spirits are very PROUD. Pride goes before destruction. A haughty spirit goes before a fall. You will never win or change them. RUN for the hills (quietly). Very quietly make your exit, go no contact & never look back. Give that evil person over to God. Vengeance is of the Lords (John 16:33).
@@jsf8145 Not all of them are really good looking. A lot don't really have anything but act like they are great and entitled.They can be very charming and funny to trick you. Thank you
We had to go through the fire to come out of it as pure gold!! I'm glad to have stumbled upon this video and others. 💪🏾 💪🏾 It's nice to see men talk about their experiences with demons so that other men won't feel ashamed or alone.
My wife had my foot in the grave after 20 years of abuse. Thanks be to Jesus he preserved my life in the wilderness. I'm am still at our house and she has to see my triumph daily! God will prepare a table before thine enemies.
@@frankcrawford416 I'm glad you are managing but it must be tough living with and being married to someone like This. I'm sure there is a way being made for you to escape.
Dang, I can totally relate. My wife is a narc and she married me for a Greencard too! We just separated. Part of my catharsis this last year has been working out. I'm in good shape now, 44 y/o with a 6 pack. I'm on my own now and she's mostly out of my life, though we share kids. Now I'm on my journey of healing and finding myself again. This video helps a lot, knowing somebody else went through this and has gotten out and thrived.
Thank you for Sharing your story💗 Emotional & Psychological Abuse is so damaging. Anyone can fall victim to it. I went through hel* escaping & still going through it after 3 years out. 17 yr marriage.... I'm relearning who I am and trying to enjoy life again.
I’m glad you guys were able to get through this…. Imagine the same, with three kids… the post divorce life isn’t a line in the sand where you can work on yourself… it turns into a different form of manipulation from the narcissistic ex.
Amazing and so helpful. I hope this frees another soul from the narc nightmare. I did the same thing Brian. Newer apt, education for her, built her a new home and a summer condo, always bought a new car while I bought used. Was never enuff. Torture was her craving and belittling. Get out ppl. Find you.
I'm a 63 yr old woman who was raised as a child by a narcissistic father in a very dysfunctional family unit. I was the family scapegoat. After years and years of being in abusive narcissistic relationships, I am finally finding my way out of the darkness. By chance, I found this interview, and it touched my heart. I can relate to the sadness of losing so many years of your life to this abuse. I am finally free, my mind is free, I can't wait to see what this "free little girl" can accomplish!
What makes it so shocking is the extreme and instantaneous change the sexlessness represents. You KNOW first hand how sexual these people are, and suddenly they want you to accept that it's normal for them to have no interest. But even more diabolical is the way they try to make it your fault, right down to the fact that you're "bugging" them about it.
I've found when you are "bugging" them about it, it usually means that they are chasing someone else like they did you in the beginning. Sarah, Hannah, Trevor, Kylie, Sam, Paula. Whatever her or his name is, they are pursuing somebody else. Meanwhile that other person a.) doesn't know about you or that you even exist or b.) are told you are a family relative/just a friend
They’re the true definition of hookers (know that I respect people who make a living in the adult industry market). They have no issue nor internal boundaries when it comes to using sex as a means to get what they want. They even use their kids to lure family minded people in. Your best revenge is to thrive without them.
Thanks for being so honest. So good to hear real stories without the red pill angle. My 18 years of unhappiness, guilt and crazy betrayal match your story exactly. Takes time to find your purpose and trust again. You can recover. Don't lose your life to these horrible people. I walked 20 k every day for 2 years. It helped
Amazing story. Starting not to be surprised that all the stories mirror. They all read the same "playbook." His story is enlightening and encouraging. Thank you for sharing!
I’m so proud of the strength you two survivors show us. Thank you so much. We know their game and what it does to the mind, body and soul. Much respect guys ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Your videos are helping me get through. I was in a relationship for a year and 3 months with a female. I'm glad I finally walked away after being hovered 6 times. I heard of the word narcissist but never really knew in depth what this entailed until I was gaslighted, projected, dismissed, blamed, ignored and she withheld sex. I knew something wasn't right with her but I kept giving her chances because she always played victim on my good nature. These people have no conscience it's terrible. After I finally got out for good, within 5 days, I started researching personality disorders and realized what I was in. It's been 8 weeks no contact and blocked on every angle. Taking care of myself. Good luck to all. 🙏
I remember i used to love to work out and after the relationship i couldn't work out, i just didn't have the mental stamina and desire. The other thing is i loved playing guitar. And my ex really screwed me hard because what happened was the next supply she picked was a guy who played guitar in rock band and he was a good player (from what i seen from looking on facebook back then) , better than me which i didn't care about that but he liked the same music i did. So that really messed me up inside. She really put the screws to me and it destroyed my desire to play so i didn't touch the guitar for over a year. I didn't even want to listen to music. I was going crazy just sitting around with my desire to do anything just nonexistent. i was telling my best friend i'm going crazy I don't know what to do and he said just do something you like, just do something you like, so i remember when i was younger i used to love playing basketball. When i was kid i played day and night. So that's what i did, i went to the basketball court everyday when i wasn't working. And that really helped. I also would walk 4 miles everyday and also hit my exercise bike everyday. It wasn't easy but i pushed myself to get up and do these things. At least it made me tired every night so i could sleep. And i kept working and that helped just being around normal people who kept my mind off the ex. And then last summer i came up with the idea of getting a motorcycle license and i went and got one and bought a bike. That was awesome therapy for me and i rode night and day. Eventually you start to come out of it more and more and i'm in a much better place now in my life. I'm starting to get back into working out and i started playing guitar again and actually enjoy it. I just told myself, look music and guitar was something you love so just play it and listen to it for you forget about the ex and the new supply, just enjoy it for you. And that really helped.
BRILLIANT. you are A SURVIVOR not a victim . Fantastic outcome I am really happy for you. Do what make you feel joy. You found yourself again. Well Done. Peace
@@briankwiatkowski1733 The hoovering never stopped. The only way it stopped was by blocking the cell phone and terminating social media. But even if you are not communicating physically you will be mentally soul-tied to this person until death. The only way to survive is to block them from all forms of communication and live your life the best that you can.
@@surfshack2 Thank you. Technically every silent treatment for weeks at a time were discards since she was sleeping with her ex. There were about 5-6 silent treatments during the last year of our 2 year relationship. After the 2 years I walked away after another silent treatment, during my birthday. Her ex was at her house the next day. It's been 3 months but I anticipate a hoover which makes me very concerned. Her and I travelled the east coast relentlessly during our first year, and went on a cruise to the Bahamas, plus I put everything I got into her, so a future hoover is extremely likely once devalue begins on her ex. From her past, it seems to me she's a "recylcler" of exes so a hoover seems guaranteed. This has me extremely worried since I'm still trauma bonded. Then I made a mistake of dating someone 1 month afterward to free the pain. NOPE! I am with this girl and I can think of nothing but my ex. I so don't want to hurt this woman but I'm leading down that road, and this woman is completely into me. I don't know, thanks for the response, my head is just spinning like everyone else on here. Your response is deeply appreciated, knowing I'm not alone helps a little in the back of my head.
He’ll come out, be prepared to find a wounded man, a soldier with shellshock. He’ll not be able to be nice to you in the beginning. Use all the patience, knowledge and strength you have but he will heal.
New subscriber here .... your awesome , your absolutely right about people who have not been through this , they need to shut their mouths because it’s a horrible experience when you know nothing about narcissistic abuse. Your videos are great and I’ll spread the word 💯👊🏻
Really enjoy this type of “telling story” video. I got so much to learn from you guys. And all the best. I hope you can have more and more guys share their experience with the nar, it could really help to heal and protect ppl from getting involved with those nar. All the best guys
Every time i see the part in the first predator movie when it takes off its helmet to reveal its ugly face i think of the narcacist finally taking off the fake personality & revealing his or her true ugly self.
Could not relate more to this gentleman. It's exactly how it goes down. Constant upgrading for them. A full removal of affection and you can never make them content. It's hard way to live but we learn....and get better because of it. Those trolls don't understand that withholding affection is how the narcissist punishes their victim when they don't get what they want.
I'm glad you guys have each other to talk to and offer support, I went 30 years married to a narc, feel I'm lucky to be alive after many years of suffering, found little to no support or sympathy from anybody after my divorce, but finally got lucky and met my current wife who had also been married to a narc.
Guys you have just put it all for me Into one. I have been in this relationship for 5 years and its finally come to the end of it. I am happy I watched this video and thank you both for helping me eliminate this psycho out of my life
I am going through it right now I have been with my wife for 26 years married for 20 years. Met when we were 18/19 years old grew up together and came into our own and I came across a netflix doc on Narcissistic abuse last September. It has been eye opening and I have grown so much in the process it has been very therapeutic for me as a whole. On the sex front yeah we haven't had it for 3 1/2 years because I haven't been a good little soldier. I feel this guys pain!!!!!!!
Thank you for being real ..... Being open and honest about this private beat down .... Dealing with the trolls... big ups...I know you get it.... I am not the only one to fall into this wicked trap... I feel blessed to have found someone that found a way out and show the way... Thank you
I left the relationship four months ago had to leave out of town to get away still living in fear scared that she is going to find me out last encounter she knocked two teeth out my mouth black eye etc.recovery is what I’m struggling with now
Absolutely. I'm going through shit now and she's with her new supply planning pre wedding shoot, etc. And it was only couple of weeks into our break up.
@@drw888 it's all for show! believe me! he will get the same shit you had. focus on you and you only! trust the process and ask god everything and take your time
Stop with this B's about scorpion being loyal ya cheat alot I know this girl at my gym she a Scorpio moon she been cheating hard on her boyfriend she a narcissist loves hot an cold games answer this ya love to hold ya true feelings inside right
I went through something very similar She ghosted me only after 2 years of marriage, it was all a big lie But she didn't break me and I'm a stronger person because of what I went through Stay strong everyone going through a tough time
Brian said “they find people that are awesome”. It’s so true brother. I’m an artist and have sold so many of my artwork all over the country. The narc made me stop painting during the relationship. Also I’m very active and have the drive to pursue my goals. He almost destroyed me. When I started thinking suicide I got his ass kicked out of my home. Since then I’m recovering and resisting his Hoovering attempts.
By the looks of it, Brian, is definitely hurting, his eyes are just full of tears waiting to burst, and it breaks me to see another man being smashed by these fuckin monsters...
I feel that too. From the start of the video. He looks like he’s going to jump out of his own skin and struggling not to fall apart. The anxiety shows all over his body. Panic attacks are the worst. It’s so sad. His pain is palpable.
LOL actually I'm good believe it or not... It's probably because i haven't taken my contacts out in a week 🤣 but the reality is it does bring me back every time I have to tell the story of how I came to be so you're probably seeing a little bit of that, but honestly I'm more than okay these days.
@@brianhazel3096 🤗 I’m so glad to hear that! And of course you are good, we all are now that can relate to what you went through because we are no longer with those abusive, narcissistic psychopaths and we will never again allow toxic, mentally disordered people in our lives again. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. It helps more than you will ever know.
@@stevedavetas1059 Steve I can only offer you a female perspective. But what I know is abuse from any one is just that, abuse. And no one that abuses you should be given any credibility. These psychopaths play on our insecurities and that is how they succeed in making us feel a certain way, they want us to feel like we are less then them. You know what I like about what Brian said he did? He began to rebuild himself. The things he described doing showed that he started to care and love himself. He took time to figure out who he was, what where the most important things in his life and he focused his energies toward those things. He rebuilt his life and self esteem from the ground up and did things that instilled pride and self worth and a purpose in his life. When you have those things and believe in yourself and your self worth, when you truly love who you are, nobody, especially not a narcissistic psychopath will ever be able to make you feel worthless again.
Wow, this guys' story echoes mine! So crazy. Even the mom thing. She was jealous my mom and I had a close relationship so she would pick fights and then demand I take her side. Thanks for sharing bro!
I was married to one for over 11 years, and finally had the courage to divorce her. I gave her everything just to get out of it. THEN, after 35 years , I met a beautiful woman 8 months ago that I thought was everything. Only she was a Narcissist as well. EVERYTHING you are talking about, I had that as well. The new relationship is worst than my married one. I will be leaving. Thanks for the post!!! I didn't know about a Narcissist until a month ago. WOW!
Excellent point made about how so many traits and behaviours are exactly the same. The damage they do can make a man undatable do to fear. Ten years after I last saw her in a courtroom in key west at my acquittal she came all the way up to Washington DC to start pinging and stalking me again! She has a pistol and her father is an arms dealer in Venezuela. We had a talk with her uncle, I let him know I have friends in DC metro police, FBI, and Homeland. The family owns a restaurant in DC, I said I would send feds up there if I heard another peep out of her. The stalking stopped
Thanks for sharing! I am currently no contact with my narc wife and trying to get the courage to file for divorce so this video is right on time thanks ❤
Thank you both for sharing your experiences, you are very helpful in my own recovery. It's amazing how these narcs share the same personality, withholding sex and blaming you for drinking to much, my exact experience and then some.
This is an incredible conversation. Wow. What a resource. Thank you to both of you for gifting us this transparency and authenticity. It’s a treasure trove of helpful nuggets. Wow. Just excellent. Thank you for sharing.
Because of my NPD experience, I gave up on the thought to get to know a healthy, normal, empathic person...aka "real" man. It's just to many of them nowadays. Here I am watching your video, listening to TWO great men. Maybe, I'll run into the same type one day. Only then, I would change my mind to stay single for the rest of my life!
Been there done that and have the t-shirts and souvenirs from the Narc Gift shop!!!! My ex wife Narc stopped having sex and SHAMED me for taking care of myself.... So freaking BIZARRE!!! EVERYTHING is a mind phuk whenever you're dealing with these people!!! Period!!!
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) and the trauma bond is crushing! Healing is a process that takes forever, and that's only if you don't find another one. I feel for you, brother. Best wishes!
Brian went through an incredible transformation after divorcing his narcissist wife. His story is truly inspiring and proof that your life can improve 10x after your heal and recover from narcissistic abuse. If you're still stuck in a brain fog after a narcissist discard and would like to work directly with me on your recovery, visit my website for more details on how to schedule a private 1 on 1 coaching session: psychopathexposure.com/coaching
If you'd like to support the channel, feel free to buy me a coffee: www.buymeacoffee.com/kirayagami
Omg I am not crazy!!! I knew it. Lmao
It’s good to see men addressing these issues.I am currently going through my own process.I was married for 10 years and just like his story my wife got married before we were even divorced(VEGAS).She discarded me at the worst time of my life,3 months after my mom passed and it’s been 8 months and I’ve done some healing and did my shadow work but I am still healing but focused on me.Thanks for this testimony!
What is your PayPal pay me?
I cannot send you a coffee from England....but I can buy you one....
@@KarenColeUKLawyer www.buymeacoffee.com/kirayagami
Incredible transformation. 💪🏾 I grow stronger everyday from coming across these videos and mother other warriors.
Imagine the person you love breaking your heart and making you feel so bad that you apologize for it. That is narcissistic emotional abuse.
This is exactly what happened to me. My ex broke me as a person.
Facts
Yup. We have had many arguments over the years. Some my fault, some hers. I always apologized for when I was wrong. And have even apologized when I KNEW she was wrong. I would apologize because she would go days being angry and contemptuous toward me and our children... I felt that if we were ever going to reconcile then it was up to me.... 🤦🏻♂️
😢
Same
Narcissistic abuse is psychological abuse and that's why it's so damaging. The narc tries to make you feel how they feel inside. This should be criminal.
I'm not collecting my evidence for no reason. It is criminal. Have you written down what gaslighting, blamed shifting, love bomb, looks like on paper? if you you handed it to anybody that knew nothing about narcissism the they would say this does not make sense. the crazy thing is Most of the people experienced this Doesn't even know narcissism exist. But I guarantee If you get together a book and a narc victim, Every word in that book is gonna match that victim to a T. And that is the day they awaken😁🥰
Prove it in court? the narcissists would just manipulate the judge but when smart victims think outside the Box they will document everything. In a narc relationship A voice recorder is your best friend and life saver. They're angel in the streets and devils at home. When you bring up one subject The conversation doesn't end because they blame shift, gaslight, manipulate, convince, To where the story changes so many times that you can that you can even remember where the conversation started. The conversation can be as simple as I want to tighten the chain link fence today. Can anybody tell me what's wrong with that simple with that simple statement. that's why it's good 2 record so you can pit point where the blame shift started Because at the end of the conversation hes gonna blame you. don't forget you just got gas you just got gas lighted😜 He's getting so bad to where hes even being rude on Normal day-to-day happy conversations. I think I have a serial narc. And when I get on my notes/ Recordings lined up lined up I wanna make an ebook. So tell the judge that because if she don't believe what's on the recorder then she's Crooked.
@@pinkrainbowkennelz1640 document document document, I just won against the malignant ex narc in court last week. I wasn't trying to prove to the judge that he is a narcissist, I proved that he's an abusive, lying, stealing creature in a suit.
@@islandgirlruby2750 exactly 😏
Glad that justice got served😘
They so try to make tou hurt like they are hurting inside. Madness
"the only time I felt comfortable was when I was alone and nobody could hurt me". Wiser words post narcissistic abuse could never be spoken
Too much “F” bombs. 😉
Mother comment so true, afraid you will tell your mother about the abuse, mine used Bible verses to try and say you are older now, need to leave mother and cleave to wife. Leave meant abandon
Lol yup just got the you need to stop drinking last week. I drink 2 beers socially, she drinks 4 cocktails at 125 lb weight. 🤣
I feel this. Once I quit my job and was away from my ex I felt happier and healthier.
Don't be deceived, this man is being transparent and honest. This is a man that many women would appreciate and value, even cherish. If this helps one person, Thanks Be To GOD!
Divorcing my covert narc wife of 20 years currently. No contact for 3 weeks and I’m seeing how dilusional I was. I chose my head in the sand because it was less painful than the truth. The hardest part is that nobody gets it!!! I think it’s impossible to get it unless you’ve lived it. The shit she has done to me is unimaginable. I love the conversation, love the solutions offered. This is a bigger problem in society than people realize. Oh, and get this, my wife is a professional mental health therapist! Life has an incredible sense of humor😂
"Oh, and get this, my wife is a professional mental health therapist! Life has an incredible sense of humor" Not surprised in the least. "Physician, heal thyself." How are you getting on?
This not only physically breaks us it mentally damages us...
Watch Dr. Romney as well... She lays out the psychological impact and how this type of abuse literally changes our brain.
They seek to destroy ones spirit and soul completely ...... Without remorse !!!
@@tauruswinds37 Your right. I fought door to door Fallujah. And was a cop in the poorest county in the country. And that was easy compared to dealing with this evil sob.
Yes. You're right. It changes us. I feel forever changed and not to mention my kids. It's should be criminal. I use positive distractions to move forward as well as telling my story. I want prevent others for going through this if possible. I'm currently studying was causes this. It's dangerous for our health and said. Noone understands except those of us that experience it.
The answer to break trauma bonding by a narcissist is to disattach emotionally and develop self worth, self love.
WELL PUT.. PERFECT. THANKS FOR SHARING IN YOUR WAU
How do you disattach
@@fleecejohnson6939Healing can start in the gym, or working out at home. Build yourself into what you want to, and stay mindful. This really does require reprogramming your brain from all the trauma which means making new connections. You lived for them for too long, so now it's time to live for you. Most importantly: do not engage them, and if you have to be around them for some reason, you need to say no and keep boundaries. Don't let them back in. This especially applies if your disordered ex is a borderline, as they will likely try and come back at some point. I know mine did. A lot. Every time you let them back in, you send the message to them that what they did to you was ok and that you're willing to accept abuse.
Remember that the trauma bond is established first being love bombed. The cause a physical addiction to the chaos and the person. They cause so much stress in you that instinct floods your blood stream with cortisol and hormones then they will soon start a sex session with you that causes instinctive Dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin and estrogen w testosterone in it and those are the pleasure neurotransmitters same as are released when people do cocaine. The addiction to the rush of physiologic withdrawal just like a drug. So there's a bit more to it than just detaching and no contact. The withdrawals go on and the narcissist will pull you back in the same way they have se while you are fighting. It takes some of us years to get out from under trauma bond.
My therapist nailed it on the head. If you honestly feel like they’re cheating on you, then they’re probably cheating on you. It’s a slow process where you find yourself tolerating behavior you’d never have put up with originally.
The best advice. I’ve been an artist for over 20 years. I have created so many pieces of artwork, drawing, painting, sculptures etc. when I met him he mirrored me. Held a few paintbrushes. I let him into my world. 2 years in he said my work was shit. He took the light of my soul with that 1 comment. I didn’t draw or create anything else.
His advice of do the things you did before you met them. Resignation indeed!
To see this strong man describe the hell we all lived. Blows my mind. Truly does.
Narcissistic abuse should be a criminal offense! Psychological abuse should be a criminal offense. The mfs bring you to the brink of suicide and that laugh in your face.
Absolutely insane. F#%. The Narcissist Psychopath. Empowering content. Thank you. 🙏
Interesting to get a man's perspective on this since we usually only hear from women who have been abused by narcissists.
Yo there's plenty to say but most people don't listen & are quick to put down a guy. I honestly was treated like a battered housewife for years yet it sounds unbelievable to most.
@@knoble1985 Damn.
@@kimmykimzee Narcissistic women are so cunning i wish I knew what a so called normal women would be like.
So true! I really appreciate the perspective!
Oh I loved this! So comforting to be hearing from good strong empathic wonderful MEN! God bless you both so much‼️
With my ex girlfriend, I was sleeping with the devil, looking into her eyes and having evil in my own house. God saved me and protected me from the evil one.
Same here man.
Dude! Brian!! YES!! 20 years married to my narcissistic ex-wife. “My reality was distorted by her.” Bro preach. Never being able to keep up with her insatiable wants and desires. Narcissists know exactly how to figure out how to hurt you. You will lose yourself as you chase after narcissists.
Any advice you can give me? I am at the beginning of a divorce of married 23 years and kids. Same situation of a narcissist wife. It is so lonely sometimes.
I can 100% relate to this story and his pain. It's a reality for some of us men and we generally have no one to turn to.
Facts all day. I’m still going thru this now but after 31 years I’m throwing in the towel, for good!
@@DJWOLFLIVE good on you.
It is difficult and I did 27 years but have also had enough…
Good luck 🙏
What I’ve learned in these last two years of recovery is that it all starts with having self-worth and healing any codependency wounds you may have and taking the time to do the work. Remember at the end of the day good women come from good families and that they have a great relationships with her parents and most importantly that she respects her father.
Very True R N... The lack of respect my ex had, or didn't have for her father was the most glaring red flag I overlooked. After months of crawling out of a mental gulag after a forced break up, I remembered conversations of her referring to her father as pathetic. I wasn't a push over so she devalued me through withholding sex, affection, mood swings, breaking up and getting back together. The relationship with the father is a BIG ONE!
I had a similar experience, her dad did so much for her and she called him ‘useless’. That stuck with me, I recognize that would be turned onto me one day. Right now I’m out, broke the engagement off. Going though tough times but I’ve been though a childhood of abuse, scapegoat and workhorse child, I will get through it.
My nex had "daddy issues" huge red flag.
I had no mother and a father who was sexually abusive to me and siblings our whole childhood. I spent time in kids homes and I have very strong morals and values and am a decent person. Not all people from bad back ground are narcissistic. And There are plenty of narcissistic people who come from great parents and loving homes.
The first 5 mins of hearing you talk i knew exactly what you were talking about you must have went through hell I did when it was over I didn't even know who I was anymore I was devalued so bad that I almost wanted to kill myself I was so depressed for at least 2 months not knowing what was going on the manipulation,gaslighting etc. I did everything for her and her kids hell even her dog I can relate to everything you are talking about i have listened to so many video's on narcissist I should probably have a phd by now
Been there too. Glad you stayed on this side and fought thru. Been out 30 days and can laugh again and value my dreams again. Great video, Kira brings TRUTH.
Same. When I was married to the narc I became a shell of my former self. We really need justice for what these freaks have done
@@HACKED787 It will all change trust me just give it time and you will find out everything they claimed they didn't like about you or devalued you about is totally different with the next person you meet its gonna be hard for women like that to meet men like us and the funny thing is they look for the same type of man they left, focus on yourself not them
@@HACKED787 let me know if you need someone to talk too. Like I said the first 5 mins of hearing you talk I knew the hell you went through
Me too bro! I NEVER thought I would ever get to the point where I felt like everything would be better if I died... smh
Great interview! I'm 76 and decided to divorce my wife of 7 years; I could never make her happy. I lived with a constant stream of criticism. My friends and family were driven away. It was hell. I finally went to a shrink, sat down and told her I needed to understand why I was still in such a miserable marriage. That was 3.5 years ago. Now I understand. And the marriage has ended. But, the hope is still with me that the stress of the divorce will change her and she will be what I want... I know with my brain she will never change. It's getting that message to my heart that is the problem. Just a little too old for body building............
You’re not too old to go into body building
Never too old to love the worthy... tenderness, strength, beauty, peace, truth, etc
I hope you're not still talking to her.
No, there is no communication. But I am still in transition and have not built an effective circle of friends for support. Right now… just me and my dog.
This is so freaking healing. Hearing the same issues from a big buff man that I have experienced as a somewhat small woman proves to me that it's not any of our faults. We trusted. We cared. We sacrificed. And hopefully now, we'll all leave the abusers behind. Oi vei! Thank you for all you do, Brother! 💕
So similar to our family member. This is so healing.
I fought door to door through Fallujah and revived Purple Heart and Bronze Star with v device. I also was a decorated swat police officer. And she has destroyed me completely. Everytime I muster the coverage. I look at my two little ones and I just can’t leave them just can’t.
@@pissonthe0fighteverybody276 First, thank you so damn much for your brave service. I know what you feel so much, one the keys to healing from these monsters is allowing your feelings to be exposed, show the hurt, ask for help, it is NOT weakness, it is the opposite, its nothing but courage! I hid being abused for 12 years from literally everyone to protect her, now one year removed, I don't give an F who sees me hurt, in pain, sobbing sometimes for no damn reason whatsoever, still a year removed. I am surrounded by friends and family who have been amazing supportive as i heal from my experience. If anyone thinks I am weak and doesn't like it, more than fine, you are exactly who I don't want in my life if you think that so thanks for letting me know and not wasting any time on you! Trust is difficult enough for me these days I do not need anyone like that near me.
I too have 3 kids, grown now, leaving them brutally hard, but it turned out to be the best thing for us all. She had all but separated me from the three of them anyway for several years by the time I was out, so happy to have them back in my life and be healthy together! Hang in there brother!
Anyone with a compassionate and loving heart can potentially be abused by these monsters. I lived with it for 20 years before I finally got to the point of not giving a rat’s behind. I had two kids but I knew I literally couldn’t stay alive if I had to continue in that kind of hell. I told her I didn’t care anymore and anytime she tried to diminish me I’d just smile and walk away. That’s what I did and it was incredibly liberating and actually enjoyable sensing her startled reactions. Lasted a short time before she was spending all her nights with her new victim (poor sapp). Now it’s been 23 great years and the last 20 of those with the most incredible woman in the world. DON’T stay with a narcissist.
@@paulh3381 So happy you got out and are happy!!!
I have been in a 10 year relationship with a narcissist......im now 2 months out and its been one of the most eye opening experience
Yes, a woman-narcissist is extremely sexual...that is their main weapon SNARING their victims.
I can relate to the story, nothing was ever good enough to them I felt like I always fell short of her expectations. I blieve to recover you need to full your life with positivity.
We do need to fill our lives with positivity but we have to remove all the negativity as well. No contact with the creatures.
What kind of positivity has helped you? If you don’t me asking
I was married to one. I know exactly how he feels. This was worst relationship I ever been in. Person was sick. I was unhappy the whole time.
His message: "Go Get Stuff Done" is pure recovery.
- The hotter the fire the stronger the steel.
"Psychopath Free" was the best book I ever read....
Man you guys blessed me. 2 months out of 15 year marriage with a narc. I struggle daily. This really helps! Thank you brother! Keep doing what you do
Thank you. This is fantastic. Am going through this now. Divorce proceedings are totally crazy with all the lies. Good thing i kept all my documents, receipts, insurance, etc intact. She is insane. So glad its coming to an end. 21 yrs gone down the drain. 2 grown children. Very sad but the next part of my life - my 2nd Act, will be a good one. I gotta serve myself for once. And of course take care of my kids.
I also felt “20 years down the drain”. That was 23 years ago. But I wouldn’t be the person I am without having survived that. I would not be able to offer support to other men going through this. I wouldn’t have the two great kids that I have. And I wouldn’t have found and instantly recognized the diamond of a wife that I now am celebrating 20 unbelievable years with. Use those 21 years of misery to build back a far better you. May God bless your future life.
This needs to be taught in schools, to save people's health and well-being
A narcissistic immigrant wife manipulating a man for a green card. Sounds exactly like my situation. I live this man's pain. You give them everything and they will never be happy so now I'm giving her a divorce to make myself happy.
I imported one too when I was in the army
@@terrybrawley7164 Divorce? Annulment?
@@Tech_1587 divorce .
Me too except I went through two narcasistic marraiges...two green cards and one nationality!!! I probably will never trust a man again!!!! Every thing happens for a reason...if a man is in my future I feal sorry for them because trust is something I got to work on before moving on!!! Peace ☮️
Now that you know....RUN
So proud of you bro. I've been married to one for 9 - felt like 100 too. Going through divorce now. I already feel better.
Just wanted to say what an incredible man and human being Brian is. Thank you both for your inspiration. God bless you both 🙏PS I am 71 years old and even at this stage of my life it’s never too late to learn. You both are masterful mentors !!!
Excellent interview, lots of great info + motivation + inspiration. "Narcissists, it's like they have a playbook" 😂😂 crazy but true... Feels good to know I'm not the only one who survived a master manipulator.Thanks for sharing
For sure you are not only one !
Finish the book, Mike 😛
Thank you for sharing your story Brian. Narcissist and psychopaths bring out the worst in all of us .In my personal experience female psychopaths scare me more than male psychopaths!
Interesting
Can you explain further why you would be more afraid of a female narc over a Male narcissist
@@neilprintz8428 I think she means they are master manipulators ... IMO
I fought door to door through Fallujah and received a bronze star with v device. I also was a decorated swat police officer. And she completely destroyed me in every way. No humiliation spared they know what will control you. She knows I want leave my little ones. I just can’t she’s so evil. I understand now when some men would tell me after I arrested them for domestic violence. Man just don’t understand. I do now. I can see where a man could finally snap. I’m twittering on that edge 10 years of just being hounded like by a evil regime. There so low down and they cut where it hurts.
@@pissonthe0fighteverybody276 You are a warrior!
They lie to police
love this video. Transformative. my "experience" was 30 years and I felt like I was watching someone interviewing me. We are still in the middle of our divorce, because she keeps dragging it out (2 years) to keep an easy target to attack, and, since splitting up...I got incurable cancer...almost a tragic comedy but, honestly?, my cancer life is still immeasurably better. If you are living this life, its not you...the narcissistic monster just beats you down until you believe it.
I understand the time "wasted" I spent from 18yrs old till 41yrs old with my exhusband narcissist. 3yrs out now I too struggle with resentment of lost time...but I may have 40 more yrs left to have a better life!
I think this is an excellent conversation and one that more men need to have more.
What a great interview, it was great to hear your guest be honest about his past experience with a female narcissist.
We need more men speaking up about these toxic female narcissists, which is something I intend to do.
Additionally, I hope that I can bring you on my podcast soon to discuss your experiences and your channel.
Keep up the great work. You are a real soldier. I think a lot of the things that this gentleman said were legit and real. It’s all about how we move on from experiences that are traumatic and or mentally abusive.
You have to take it one day at a time, but not be a victim, at the same time, you have to acknowledge that you were victimized. Yup, they are similar. Party girls. Everything is about these narcs. The great sex to withholding. So many red flags we ignore.
Excellent discussion. Excellent.
I could feel Brian's hurt and betrayal in his voice and expression. Thank you for sharing. To see such a smart and seemingly virile man share his experience has given me a glimpse of hope!
I can relate - I am 58 and was discarded after 15 years of marriage. I am still going through it - 7 months in …. 21 weeks ago, I hired a nutritional coach (an ex IFFB bodybuilder) and started hitting the gym 7 days per week. I have since lost 50 lbs and the toxic fog is slowly lifting - my daughter told me: “Mom- go to the gym and make the pain your bitch” - Lol - that’s what I did - still have my moments but your channel has helped tremendously…. The self defeating thought of no one would want to date an old woman is slowly fading too - I feel much healthier and actually younger - my mindset is shifting - it’s a process. Thanks for sharing your story
Why do these narcissistic demons target the most beautiful people? May karma burn that as-.! Great interview, Brian.
They are exactly as you said. They are demon possessed. Narcs go after empaths, God’s children for lack of a better word. They see the light (God) in you and they literally want to snuff it out. Their absolute goal is for you to commit suicide. They have so much hatred, envy, etc inside of them that they wish that they were you
I have just found your channel on you tube . This is one of the best interviews I have seen from a male side of this evilness.
The first 5 mins you can see your pain behind your eyes & the restlessness in your body. I just wanted to give you a hug. You really did show every aspect of what it’s like of how it does effect us all . What they put us through is the same & how we feel in & out of it is what we feel . You are right no one understands & no one gets why you feel the way you do.
I have boundaries up now that I won’t backdown on.
Thankyou for your story, you will help a lot of people & especially men for hearing this. Love to you both 💕
& Love for everyone that has been through this.
Thank you for your videos. A LOT of people need this. It's so easy to feel alone, like you're the only one who went through this. It feels so lonely. Then you come across little gems like this and honestly, it makes me feel vindicated. I want to tell all those people who've yelled "Oh just get over it!" about how widespread this kind of thing is, for men AND women, and how it effects so many people in the same way it's effected me.
I think some of the people that say get over it. Most are narcs or narc like too. No empathy. They want you to get over it so they can be the head narc over you. A so called narc friend, or narc family member etc.
Narcs also recognize each other and call each other out. They also want to ruin you and will encourage you to date and marry a narc to watch you get destroyed but then they are jealous they lose the main control over you till you get discarded. Then they swoop you back up to finish you off.
Its so demonic. We are battling demons one after another.
I would what these narc women do to get the good guys. We need good women with the good men.
@@janetromey7522 Jezebel Spirits! The richer / more popular / wealthier / more athletic / more gifted a person is OR the more beautiful a woman is or the more handsome a man is, the more likely the Jezebel Spirit has already taken root and completely taken over that individual's actions. Being able to discern who has this evil spirit is key. You will know them by their actions and the way they treat others. Be very observant how they treat others.
Because this world is naturally attracted to beautiful things, the Jezebel Spirit has the upper hand with influencing the general public to buy into his/her narrative about you, should you not be as "beautiful" as Jezebel. Keep in mind, God (Jesus) was crucified because there is no beauty there that we should desire him (Isaiah 53).
A few of the red flags of the Jezebel Spirit to look out for: No empathy. Conceited. Proud. Arrogant. Braggarts. Interrupts others. Talks over others. Easily offended. Gloating about their own accomplishments or gloats about others misfortunes. Constantly gossiping. Anyone possessing these traits, you can bet your bottom dollar is vindictive and wants vengeance against anyone who "humbles" them. Jezebel Spirits are very PROUD. Pride goes before destruction. A haughty spirit goes before a fall.
You will never win or change them. RUN for the hills (quietly). Very quietly make your exit, go no contact & never look back. Give that evil person over to God. Vengeance is of the Lords (John 16:33).
@@jsf8145 Not all of them are really good looking. A lot don't really have anything but act like they are great and entitled.They can be very charming and funny to trick you. Thank you
We had to go through the fire to come out of it as pure gold!! I'm glad to have stumbled upon this video and others. 💪🏾 💪🏾
It's nice to see men talk about their experiences with demons so that other men won't feel ashamed or alone.
My wife had my foot in the grave after 20 years of abuse. Thanks be to Jesus he preserved my life in the wilderness. I'm am still at our house and she has to see my triumph daily! God will prepare a table before thine enemies.
@@frankcrawford416 I'm glad you are managing but it must be tough living with and being married to someone like This. I'm sure there is a way being made for you to escape.
This is badass bro. It helps immensely to hear his story. We all share the stories. Ty
Iv been through almost the exact same thing as Brian.. I know exactly what it feels like.. I'm still recovering.. Man it's rough
I can only imagine this level of trauma. May you have healing. So sorry anyone goes through this.
Dang, I can totally relate. My wife is a narc and she married me for a Greencard too! We just separated. Part of my catharsis this last year has been working out. I'm in good shape now, 44 y/o with a 6 pack. I'm on my own now and she's mostly out of my life, though we share kids. Now I'm on my journey of healing and finding myself again. This video helps a lot, knowing somebody else went through this and has gotten out and thrived.
I feel like all of us who were successful, sensitive bad boys from high school have experienced that abuse in our life
Thank you for Sharing your story💗
Emotional & Psychological Abuse is so damaging.
Anyone can fall victim to it.
I went through hel* escaping & still going through it after 3 years out.
17 yr marriage....
I'm relearning who I am and trying to enjoy life again.
I’m glad you guys were able to get through this…. Imagine the same, with three kids… the post divorce life isn’t a line in the sand where you can work on yourself… it turns into a different form of manipulation from the narcissistic ex.
Amazing and so helpful. I hope this frees another soul from the narc nightmare. I did the same thing Brian. Newer apt, education for her, built her a new home and a summer condo, always bought a new car while I bought used. Was never enuff. Torture was her craving and belittling. Get out ppl. Find you.
I'm a 63 yr old woman who was raised as a child by a narcissistic father in a very dysfunctional family unit. I was the family scapegoat. After years and years of being in abusive narcissistic relationships, I am finally finding my way out of the darkness. By chance, I found this interview, and it touched my heart. I can relate to the sadness of losing so many years of your life to this abuse. I am finally free, my mind is free, I can't wait to see what this "free little girl" can accomplish!
What makes it so shocking is the extreme and instantaneous change the sexlessness represents. You KNOW first hand how sexual these people are, and suddenly they want you to accept that it's normal for them to have no interest. But even more diabolical is the way they try to make it your fault, right down to the fact that you're "bugging" them about it.
I've found when you are "bugging" them about it, it usually means that they are chasing someone else like they did you in the beginning.
Sarah, Hannah, Trevor, Kylie, Sam, Paula.
Whatever her or his name is, they are pursuing somebody else.
Meanwhile that other person a.) doesn't know about you or that you even exist or b.) are told you are a family relative/just a friend
My wife says repeatedly, “I’d like to go to sleep without you messing with me.”
@@specialtwice4975 EXACTLY!!!
They’re the true definition of hookers (know that I respect people who make a living in the adult industry market). They have no issue nor internal boundaries when it comes to using sex as a means to get what they want. They even use their kids to lure family minded people in. Your best revenge is to thrive without them.
It good to see men openly talk about the abuse and trauma they experienced. Bravo guys!
Thanks for being so honest. So good to hear real stories without the red pill angle. My 18 years of unhappiness, guilt and crazy betrayal match your story exactly. Takes time to find your purpose and trust again. You can recover. Don't lose your life to these horrible people. I walked 20 k every day for 2 years. It helped
I cannot believe I've been sleeping on your content! It's been a godsend. Keep doing the work🙌
Thanks for sharing your story brother! I know exactly what you went through!
Amazing story. Starting not to be surprised that all the stories mirror. They all read the same "playbook."
His story is enlightening and encouraging. Thank you for sharing!
I’m so proud of the strength you two survivors show us. Thank you so much. We know their game and what it does to the mind, body and soul. Much respect guys ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Your videos are helping me get through. I was in a relationship for a year and 3 months with a female. I'm glad I finally walked away after being hovered 6 times. I heard of the word narcissist but never really knew in depth what this entailed until I was gaslighted, projected, dismissed, blamed, ignored and she withheld sex. I knew something wasn't right with her but I kept giving her chances because she always played victim on my good nature. These people have no conscience it's terrible. After I finally got out for good, within 5 days, I started researching personality disorders and realized what I was in.
It's been 8 weeks no contact and blocked on every angle. Taking care of myself. Good luck to all. 🙏
Thank-you for the video both of you. Been watching them few months and finally got away from the narcissist after years of misery.
I remember i used to love to work out and after the relationship i couldn't work out, i just didn't have the mental stamina and desire. The other thing is i loved playing guitar. And my ex really screwed me hard because what happened was the next supply she picked was a guy who played guitar in rock band and he was a good player (from what i seen from looking on facebook back then) , better than me which i didn't care about that but he liked the same music i did. So that really messed me up inside. She really put the screws to me and it destroyed my desire to play so i didn't touch the guitar for over a year. I didn't even want to listen to music. I was going crazy just sitting around with my desire to do anything just nonexistent. i was telling my best friend i'm going crazy I don't know what to do and he said just do something you like, just do something you like, so i remember when i was younger i used to love playing basketball. When i was kid i played day and night. So that's what i did, i went to the basketball court everyday when i wasn't working. And that really helped. I also would walk 4 miles everyday and also hit my exercise bike everyday. It wasn't easy but i pushed myself to get up and do these things. At least it made me tired every night so i could sleep. And i kept working and that helped just being around normal people who kept my mind off the ex. And then last summer i came up with the idea of getting a motorcycle license and i went and got one and bought a bike. That was awesome therapy for me and i rode night and day. Eventually you start to come out of it more and more and i'm in a much better place now in my life. I'm starting to get back into working out and i started playing guitar again and actually enjoy it. I just told myself, look music and guitar was something you love so just play it and listen to it for you forget about the ex and the new supply, just enjoy it for you. And that really helped.
Same for me. After discard I started playing drums again to heavy rock and started playing basketball again . Playing since I was 8. And I'm 63!
BRILLIANT. you are A SURVIVOR not a victim . Fantastic outcome I am really happy for you. Do what make you feel joy. You found yourself again. Well Done. Peace
Were you ever hoovered back in after the final discard?
@@briankwiatkowski1733 The hoovering never stopped. The only way it stopped was by blocking the cell phone and terminating social media. But even if you are not communicating physically you will be mentally soul-tied to this person until death. The only way to survive is to block them from all forms of communication and live your life the best that you can.
@@surfshack2 Thank you. Technically every silent treatment for weeks at a time were discards since she was sleeping with her ex. There were about 5-6 silent treatments during the last year of our 2 year relationship. After the 2 years I walked away after another silent treatment, during my birthday. Her ex was at her house the next day. It's been 3 months but I anticipate a hoover which makes me very concerned. Her and I travelled the east coast relentlessly during our first year, and went on a cruise to the Bahamas, plus I put everything I got into her, so a future hoover is extremely likely once devalue begins on her ex. From her past, it seems to me she's a "recylcler" of exes so a hoover seems guaranteed. This has me extremely worried since I'm still trauma bonded. Then I made a mistake of dating someone 1 month afterward to free the pain. NOPE! I am with this girl and I can think of nothing but my ex. I so don't want to hurt this woman but I'm leading down that road, and this woman is completely into me. I don't know, thanks for the response, my head is just spinning like everyone else on here. Your response is deeply appreciated, knowing I'm not alone helps a little in the back of my head.
Omg I’m sooooo glad I found this.
I’m hearing this and it sounds soooo much like my story bro.
We were married for 14 years
He is not alone! I’m divorcing the psychopath as we speak 💯
Proud of you dude. I only had 4 years of it. That took me over 2 years to recover.
10 years... that's some serious damage to undo.
Never say die 💪
I have a npd mother, im 21 years old. 😉😌 pray for me i just started therapy
@@aimane3375 knowledge and understanding how you were conditioned sets you free 👍
Thank you so much for this interview….”I wanted to be alone so I wouldn’t be hurt “……that is so familiar
Incredible, the story was absolutely my life, almost every detail!
As a mother watching my son going thru this is heartbreaking; I've been side-lined by the narc:(
He’ll come out, be prepared to find a wounded man, a soldier with shellshock. He’ll not be able to be nice to you in the beginning. Use all the patience, knowledge and strength you have but he will heal.
New subscriber here .... your awesome , your absolutely right about people who have not been through this , they need to shut their mouths because it’s a horrible experience when you know nothing about narcissistic abuse. Your videos are great and I’ll spread the word 💯👊🏻
I was married to a female narcissist and my experience was horrible, I have stories for days
Really enjoy this type of “telling story” video. I got so much to learn from you guys. And all the best. I hope you can have more and more guys share their experience with the nar, it could really help to heal and protect ppl from getting involved with those nar. All the best guys
Good to hear you got out. I did 15 years and still care for him but know it’s hopeless.
Every time i see the part in the first predator movie when it takes off its helmet to reveal its ugly face i think of the narcacist finally taking off the fake personality & revealing his or her true ugly self.
Anytime...
@@PsychopathEXposure 😅👌🏾Right..... They also pick up lingo and other personality traits from their victims too.
💯
Beautiful share, thank you, never thought of withholding sex as a tool/form of control...
Could not relate more to this gentleman. It's exactly how it goes down. Constant upgrading for them. A full removal of affection and you can never make them content. It's hard way to live but we learn....and get better because of it. Those trolls don't understand that withholding affection is how the narcissist punishes their victim when they don't get what they want.
I'm glad you guys have each other to talk to and offer support, I went 30 years married to a narc, feel I'm lucky to be alive after many years of suffering, found little to no support or sympathy from anybody after my divorce, but finally got lucky and met my current wife who had also been married to a narc.
Guys you have just put it all for me Into one. I have been in this relationship for 5 years and its finally come to the end of it. I am happy I watched this video and thank you both for helping me eliminate this psycho out of my life
I am going through it right now I have been with my wife for 26 years married for 20 years. Met when we were 18/19 years old grew up together and came into our own and I came across a netflix doc on Narcissistic abuse last September. It has been eye opening and I have grown so much in the process it has been very therapeutic for me as a whole. On the sex front yeah we haven't had it for 3 1/2 years because I haven't been a good little soldier. I feel this guys pain!!!!!!!
Thank you for being real ..... Being open and honest about this private beat down .... Dealing with the trolls... big ups...I know you get it.... I am not the only one to fall into this wicked trap... I feel blessed to have found someone that found a way out and show the way... Thank you
I left the relationship four months ago had to leave out of town to get away still living in fear scared that she is going to find me out last encounter she knocked two teeth out my mouth black eye etc.recovery is what I’m struggling with now
omg 😭 please stay safe I am so sorry.
This conversation has helped me so much I’m so glad I found it , thanks guys !
Thank you for this episode ☺️ Cred to both of you, much love ♥️
I’m Scorpio moon is not easy to be any type of Scorpio we feel deeply our pain and we are extremely loyal
🙌🏾🙏
Absolutely. I'm going through shit now and she's with her new supply planning pre wedding shoot, etc. And it was only couple of weeks into our break up.
@@drw888 it's all for show! believe me! he will get the same shit you had. focus on you and you only! trust the process and ask god everything and take your time
Stop with this B's about scorpion being loyal ya cheat alot I know this girl at my gym she a Scorpio moon she been cheating hard on her boyfriend she a narcissist loves hot an cold games answer this ya love to hold ya true feelings inside right
“When I got my life back, I didn’t know what to do with it.” Dude. Brian. Your story and mine run so parallel it’s not even funny.
I went through something very similar
She ghosted me only after 2 years of marriage, it was all a big lie
But she didn't break me and I'm a stronger person because of what I went through
Stay strong everyone going through a tough time
Rejection is protection!
Brian said “they find people that are awesome”. It’s so true brother. I’m an artist and have sold so many of my artwork all over the country. The narc made me stop painting during the relationship. Also I’m very active and have the drive to pursue my goals. He almost destroyed me. When I started thinking suicide I got his ass kicked out of my home. Since then I’m recovering and resisting his Hoovering attempts.
By the looks of it, Brian, is definitely hurting, his eyes are just full of tears waiting to burst, and it breaks me to see another man being smashed by these fuckin monsters...
I feel that too. From the start of the video. He looks like he’s going to jump out of his own skin and struggling not to fall apart. The anxiety shows all over his body. Panic attacks are the worst. It’s so sad. His pain is palpable.
@@sallyg4544 So sad, I am still struggling, I want to reconnect so bad, but afraid of being belittled and rejected like I am worthless!!!
LOL actually I'm good believe it or not... It's probably because i haven't taken my contacts out in a week 🤣 but the reality is it does bring me back every time I have to tell the story of how I came to be so you're probably seeing a little bit of that, but honestly I'm more than okay these days.
@@brianhazel3096 🤗 I’m so glad to hear that! And of course you are good, we all are now that can relate to what you went through because we are no longer with those abusive, narcissistic psychopaths and we will never again allow toxic, mentally disordered people in our lives again.
Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. It helps more than you will ever know.
@@stevedavetas1059 Steve I can only offer you a female perspective. But what I know is abuse from any one is just that, abuse. And no one that abuses you should be given any credibility. These psychopaths play on our insecurities and that is how they succeed in making us feel a certain way, they want us to feel like we are less then them.
You know what I like about what Brian said he did? He began to rebuild himself. The things he described doing showed that he started to care and love himself. He took time to figure out who he was, what where the most important things in his life and he focused his energies toward those things. He rebuilt his life and self esteem from the ground up and did things that instilled pride and self worth and a purpose in his life. When you have those things and believe in yourself and your self worth, when you truly love who you are, nobody, especially not a narcissistic psychopath will ever be able to make you feel worthless again.
Great video. He's a worrior. Just as we all need to be. Keep pumping out these videos. It helps !!!!
Such a cool and inspiring testimony! Love for you guys!😘
Wow, this guys' story echoes mine! So crazy. Even the mom thing. She was jealous my mom and I had a close relationship so she would pick fights and then demand I take her side. Thanks for sharing bro!
I was married to one for over 11 years, and finally had the courage to divorce her. I gave her everything just to get out of it. THEN, after 35 years , I met a beautiful woman 8 months ago that I thought was everything. Only she was a Narcissist as well. EVERYTHING you are talking about, I had that as well. The new relationship is worst than my married one. I will be leaving. Thanks for the post!!! I didn't know about a Narcissist until a month ago. WOW!
Ty for sharing!
Excellent point made about how so many traits and behaviours are exactly the same.
The damage they do can make a man undatable do to fear.
Ten years after I last saw her in a courtroom in key west at my acquittal she came all the way up to Washington DC to start pinging and stalking me again! She has a pistol and her father is an arms dealer in Venezuela. We had a talk with her uncle, I let him know I have friends in DC metro police, FBI, and Homeland.
The family owns a restaurant in DC, I said I would send feds up there if I heard another peep out of her. The stalking stopped
She even sold my parrot but I got him back
'Think in the present' YES! That's awesome
I'm watching this now and want to reach out to Brian. I couldn't believe my ears when he said 10 years. That's exactly what I've been through.
"A man who can't forget lives in a prison of his own making." Robert Jordan, The Wheel of Time
Thanks for sharing! I am currently no contact with my narc wife and trying to get the courage to file for divorce so this video is right on time thanks ❤
Thank you both for sharing your experiences, you are very helpful in my own recovery. It's amazing how these narcs share the same personality, withholding sex and blaming you for drinking to much, my exact experience and then some.
This is an incredible conversation. Wow. What a resource. Thank you to both of you for gifting us this transparency and authenticity. It’s a treasure trove of helpful nuggets. Wow. Just excellent. Thank you for sharing.
Because of my NPD experience, I gave up on the thought to get to know a healthy, normal, empathic person...aka "real" man. It's just to many of them nowadays.
Here I am watching your video, listening to TWO great men. Maybe, I'll run into the same type one day. Only then, I would change my mind to stay single for the rest of my life!
Been there done that and have the t-shirts and souvenirs from the Narc Gift shop!!!! My ex wife Narc stopped having sex and SHAMED me for taking care of myself.... So freaking BIZARRE!!! EVERYTHING is a mind phuk whenever you're dealing with these people!!! Period!!!
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) and the trauma bond is crushing! Healing is a process that takes forever, and that's only if you don't find another one. I feel for you, brother. Best wishes!
I can relate to this so much. Fully dedicated myself to projects and self discipline after being put through the narc ringer shedevil.