@@taylorbee4010 Avoidants desire and crave connection and intimacy, like everyone else, but they're unable to maintain relationships because unconsciously they fear abandonment and rejection as a result of their childhood attachment trauma. They lack self awareness so they don't understand why they are the way they are and many times they don't see an issue with how they are. I hope this helps🙏🏼
@@sharonesper8432 the same reason an anxious attachment gets in a relationship with a avoidant for so long, they both desire connection but they cannot maintain it and it is unhealthy because of their attachment trauma. Both need to heal their attachment wounds to have healthier relationships in general. Also the anxious attachments have no boundaries and usually accept shitty treatment from an avoidant which keeps the toxic cycle going. Toxic avoidants are going to keep doing whatever they want as long as the other person doesn't stand up for themselves and allows it to keep happening, unless the avoidant takes accountability and realizes they need to heal or the other person realizes they deserve better and removes the avoidant!
Would this behavior add more shame or even regret later? I ended a situationship with someone I believe is avoidant/FA. She was stringing me along without committing and I found out she slept with someone I considered a friend. I heard that she wants to talk to me about everything but I have her blocked atm. Is there anything I can or should do to make her "realize" what she is doing? Or just be glad I got out. I actually loved this girl (I think at least) but she has been super disrespectful. The first time she crossed a boundary I accepted her apology but to do that again seems foolish. She is working as a psychologist so I do expect at least some self-awareness.. Thank you
Why do Avoidants seek relationships when they seem to be more attached to hook ups?
@@taylorbee4010 Avoidants desire and crave connection and intimacy, like everyone else, but they're unable to maintain relationships because unconsciously they fear abandonment and rejection as a result of their childhood attachment trauma. They lack self awareness so they don't understand why they are the way they are and many times they don't see an issue with how they are. I hope this helps🙏🏼
Communicating solves most of this.
Then why do they get in a long term relationship with an anxious attachment style person in the first place for so long?
@@sharonesper8432 the same reason an anxious attachment gets in a relationship with a avoidant for so long, they both desire connection but they cannot maintain it and it is unhealthy because of their attachment trauma. Both need to heal their attachment wounds to have healthier relationships in general. Also the anxious attachments have no boundaries and usually accept shitty treatment from an avoidant which keeps the toxic cycle going. Toxic avoidants are going to keep doing whatever they want as long as the other person doesn't stand up for themselves and allows it to keep happening, unless the avoidant takes accountability and realizes they need to heal or the other person realizes they deserve better and removes the avoidant!
Would this behavior add more shame or even regret later? I ended a situationship with someone I believe is avoidant/FA. She was stringing me along without committing and I found out she slept with someone I considered a friend. I heard that she wants to talk to me about everything but I have her blocked atm. Is there anything I can or should do to make her "realize" what she is doing? Or just be glad I got out. I actually loved this girl (I think at least) but she has been super disrespectful. The first time she crossed a boundary I accepted her apology but to do that again seems foolish. She is working as a psychologist so I do expect at least some self-awareness.. Thank you