Why is it the ex needs to see the change in ourselves?? Can you do a video on what if the dumper dumps the dumpee due to the mother of the dumper that's that needy and can't live without her daughter/my ex gf, I'll give an example the ex's mum called 13 times in the space of one and half hours of me and the ex gf waking up just to keep asking when are you coming around, the expression on the ex gf's face said it all, the times I've said say no to your mum for once instead of being their at her beckoning call !!!
Your ex needs to see the change because they need to know that they aren't walking back into the same relationship that they walked out of in the first place. Sounds like your ex is upset that you don't value the connection she has with her mother.
Please, stop putting people who break up with you on a pedestal. You deserve much better. If they broke up with you leaving you sad and alone, it is them who must work hard to get you back. If they don't do it, they are just not worth for you. Place yourself on a pedestal and see how life miraculous changes for you. Love yourself, and life will love you back 10 times more. 100% guaranty.
#1 - 1:20 - That you are genuinely sorry for anything wrong that you have done. #2 - 3:22 - That you can have positive interactions with one another. #3 - 5:43 - That you can have empathy and curiosity towards them. (Their point-of-view, their perspective.) #4 - 7:25 - That they can trust you. Consistently. #5 - 9:39 - (Before they can trust...) that they are not going back to the same relationship that they walked out on.
I'm tired of being the one who should understand the situation of others!! I had a fight with my boyfriend and he shut down for a month! why would I always have to understand that he is in a difficult situation? I have also exams and living in a stress all the time why wouldn't he think about that? I mean i'm not living in heaven either..!
Calvin U believe me it's not about damage control mode, I went through this phase once we broke up, but we got back together now. we had a fight before month ago and he shut down and refused talking to me or pick up my calls anymore. I mean are we going to go through this everytime we have a fight? I'm confused now about our situation and I'm thinking of giving up on him..
This is just superb, I have been researching "make your ex want you back" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Fananiel Ex Supremacy - (should be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some incredible things about it and my co-worker got amazing success with it.
Dear Unicorns: About getting X back: 1. R U genuinely sorry? That is, if U messed up. 2. U two can be positive again? Deep interactions. 3. U can have empathy and curiosity with them. 4. They can emotionally trust you to follow through and be there 4 them. Consistency needed. 5. You are different. The relationship is not still broken. Change the dynamic between the two of you. Look at your breakup. Personally, I can't do do-overs.
I set a boundary with my ex because I noticed she was being disrespectful and me respecting myself and setting boundaries actually made us closer. I gained respect back and we even went on a “date” with our son at a local fair. She had so much fun. I want to initiate a dating plan, starting over. Going on dates and showing her the improved person.
Thanks for sharing! It sounds like you are having good progress and we appreciate your experience regarding setting healthy boundaries and how it made an impact on your dynamics.
this has all been my ex's fault really. sure its a two way street but her lack of communication has made it all her fault. I am one of the most understanding people you will meet, ever. I don't hold grudges and I rarely get mad ever. if she would have attempted to let me know how she was feeling and not just shutting down and not explaining things and letting herself become wore out and bitter and "falling out of love. BS but thats what she said." then we wouldn't even be here. 5.5 years like it was nothing. bye she said. selfish I say
Marshall Smith, frustrating as hell isnt it, my ex gf of 6 years did the same wouldn't hold any communication and I'd have to guess what was going on then when I said stuff she'd say look pushing again, and I'm sorry I'm not going over the same stuff, all I wanted to do was help her with her very very needy 78 year old mum, the ex gf is 50, I'm 44 she was the one who was childish in her ways, if it wasn't for her mum we'd be great, so I get your pain and frustration bud
Marshall Smith man i have the same situation. probably almost exact. but because of what happened i saw my short comings and what i need to change. but it was really traumatic and tragic. she also said she fell out of love.
I hope your situation turned out better and that there was a reconciliation. Any update on that? Best wishes to you. You clearly are willing to make things work as you are here to try and improve yourself.
I know I'm a year late but I'm exactly like you in the sense that I'm understanding and rarely get mad lol, and my ex also didn't try to communicate even when I stressed it many times that "communication is key" and we'd probably still be together if she actually tried to talk to me but nope, 1 day I told her something very true about her, she went defensive mode, played the victim card and made me seem and feel like a piece of shit and at the end of it broke up with me and told me "Let's be friends and I still love you but it'll get worse" why leave a person in such a weird way, it's like being stuck cuz you don't know what to do, I put up with so much of her bs and I didn't leave but the moment I say something for once, boom end of relationship smh
1. Genuinely apologize. I apologized in how much toxic our relationship is. I did changes and I actually genuinely apologized and accepted my mistakes. She just said "I already forgave you. I just want space" 2. You can have positive interactions. I can't she doesn't want to talk to me and the only reason why she talks to me is because of my parents wanting her to talk to me. 3. Have empathy and curiousity I accepted my mistakes, I understand on what happened to us, I understand I hurt her too much for her to leave me. But she just want space. 4. Trust me How can I earn her trust when she doesn't even want to talk to me? 5.They should know that they're not going to back to the same old relationship. I've let her know but she just said "I'm not getting back together"
None of this applies to me and my ex. Even he admitted when he broke up with me that it was all his fault and I didnt do anything wrong. Everything was going great between us but within two days he did a 180° on me, panicked and ended everything. He kept saying that I was such a good person yet, he was looking for problems to sabotage his happiness with me. 99.99% of our interactions with each other were positve. We had both fun, and deep/meaningful conversations. I've never been with anyone more open than him. His schedule was busier than mine so I'd always tell him that we didn't have to talk everyday/talk as long everyday, but he insisted that we do because it was important to him. We were both always there for each other. I honestly want him to know that I'm the same, that I love him and that he was always good enough for me. His self sabotaging is what's keeping us apart.
This is such an inspiring video, made me look at myself and fix the things I've done wrong first before pointing fingers at my ex and what he did wrong, also gave me a different view on things, thanks very helpful.
I like your content. It's real and honest and it's actually informative, unlike so many of these videos where the creator is tripping over themselves to remain vague because they don't want to give too much away.
So. What if it was a situation where I should have dumped him... which scared him so he dumped me? Cuz I'm sitting here like "hey, I don't trust him." etc.
My boyfriend and I were dating for three years. He broke up with me a week ago out of the blue. We had just gone on a gorgeous week-long vacation for spring break and we had been discussing a two-week vacation for August. We have been very happy together and the only real reason that I can see that caused the break-up was that it may have become too safe? We are just about to graduate college (though we are both sticking around for an extra year to get our Masters), and so a lot of our friends in long-term relationships are either getting engaged or breaking up. We had not talked about the future as much as some couples but had discussed the feasibility of both ending up in the same city after we finished school. I am so confused. When he broke up with me he was bawling and was generally very upset and was insistent that he was doing me a favor because he "didn't see it going anywhere" and "didn't want to lead me on". He mentioned hanging out with me and our mutual friends, still seeing my family before graduation, and even reinstated my invitation to vacay with him this summer. I spoke with him briefly a couple days afterward because it seemed he really didn't want to break up, but at this point, he was saying that I didn't make him happy and that he thinks I'm "a dead-end". Do you think the stress of graduation, his family's expectations and the fact that I'm his first relationship caused him to run?
My ex and I had a great relationship for almost a year. Then A couple months ago I felt him pulling away. He told me he was worried. He was afraid of commitment. I already figured that but I have struggled too. I told him I understood and we did not have decide anything. I liked how thing were. One Saturday morning he freaked out when I stopped by on my way to work. He was upset and said a lot of things. I told him I knew he was scared. Then he said he was and was worried what would happen if we moved in together in a few years. I never had even mentioned it before. He had been thinking about it on his own. Then the next thing I know we were broken up.
Hi Robin, I'm sorry to hear about the breakup and it seems like your ex got truly anxious of what the future might bring. It is best that you give him the needed space and time at this point to sort his own thoughts and emotions out. We know that breakups are never easy and could be confusing or even frustrating. We hope that you are holding on well.
I'm sorry to hear that that happened to you. He sounds very similar to my ex. Everything was going great with us and then within less than 48 hours, we were broken up. I'm sure your ex has anxiety like mine does and he just created all these hypothetical problems in his head so he can justify pushing you away. I feel your pain and it sucks.
I actually didn't do anything wrong. He rven admitted that when he broke up with me. He said that it was all his fault because he wasn't ready and we were moving really fast. Told me that he realized that he's the one who led in the relationship and he shouldn't have pursued me as strongly as he did. All I did was reciprocate because I thought that we were both on the same page. And I treated him with the utmost dignity and respect, even when he broke up with me. So I literally have nothing to apologize for and he knows that.
Hi Clay , Am one of your avid fan in most of your videos , your advices are awesome especially like you should initiate to contact your ex even though they were the one who dump you , it's quite sensible and sometimes we have to level down our ego especially us women the vital point or target is you want your ex back , the most important thing is you have to aimed your happiness to be fulfilled for the rest of your life , life is so short .... Some men had high level of ego so we had to enhance our understanding if we want to live our lives to fullest ever after .....be with our man we love the most ....
HI Jennifer, We agree with you when you say that you have to aim for y our own happiness. By having that, it means you are having an emotional independence/security and even self love... whether we will get back with our ex or be in a new relationship with someone else. :-) All the best.
Hi Clay, I've been watching your videos since my breakup and they haven been very informative and helpful but I feel I've done all the mistakes on the book and not too sure if I can get my ex back or not. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me about two months ago. We were in a committed relationship for just over two years. We're both in our mid-twenties. This is the longest and the most involved relationship for both of us, hence why I'm very heartbroken and quite anxious about the whole thing. An argument lead to the breakup, we went from being the perfect couple one day to I can't stand you the next. She broke up with me on a night out in the pub and said I wasn't emotional enough for her and I were trying to change her too much when I was only trying to get her into a healthier lifestyle. She also said I never listened to her properly, which I did do as I was naive and lacked a few relationship skills. I made the mistake of writing a long love letter, contacting her friends to get involved and the major the mistake of begging and pleading. She's completely walled me out and Now I'm in No-Contact. I should have gone straight into no contact after the breakup. She has told me that she still has feelings for me and cares about me but too afraid if we give it another go she might get hurt again. She also suggested that she wanted to be friends but I didn't agree to. We spoke about two weeks ago about our feelings and she told me to move on and get on with my life in a rather horrible way. She's very stubborn so talking to her or telling her I've changed is only going to push her away further. She's still friends with me on social media and still has kept all the photos we have together. I don't know what to do. Do I carry on No-Contact for a period or something else? I'm using this time to working on myself. I'm getting therapy l to improve my listening skills and learn from my mistakes. I genuinely have feeling for this girl and want to perdure this because I believe we can get put our different to a side and work it out. I'm prepared to change to become this new, emotional individual but not too clear what direction I need to take. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
It's great to have a great deep connection, but it's difficult when they act like you don't exist at all. And won't communicate at all. So I'm lost with all these videos. All about the connection, but you can't have one without communicating. And yes I've tried.
That's why we have to learn when to push with communication and when to step back. This is where awareness, empathy and other Advanced Relational Skills would come in.
Hey Clay, My girlfriend broke up with me after her dad died, she said I couldn't have done anything more for her but said she can't be there for me the way she should be. I never said anything negative to her to do with anything like that. I was there for her all the way through it all
She's hurting and doesn't have the emotional availability to be in a relationship with you, hence why she broke it off. After a death of a parent, it's common for someone to emotionally close themselves off as an act of self preservation as well as a coping mechanism. I wouldn't take this as anything about YOU per se but what SHE emotionally needs right now. She is grieving....What you can do tho, hold space for her and let her know that you are there for her during this difficult time in her life.
And when she's closer to fully healing and it will be easier for her to breathe again without hurting, and her emotional capacity to be with you again will increase. Empathy and emotional acceptance will help you here. Those are also the foundational skills we teach to our members. Hang in there, Ryan.
Clay Andrews thank you Clay, we're going to go out for dinner soon before she goes back to her home town (we had a long distance relationship), I've felt like she's been having second thoughts about the break up recently She said she wants to spend time with me before she goes back and wants to keep talking then too!
1) Ex must believe that u r genuinely sorry about what you did wrong 2) Let them know that u can have + interactions (To be real & honest) 3) Have empathy and curiosity about them (Get in their shoes) 4) Keep your word so that they can trust you (Follow thru with your actions) 5) They have to really know that this is NOT the OLD relationship they left
Hey Alina, A successful communication would involve a two-way process between the sender and the receiver of the message. So it is an interactive process. If we are in the position of not getting a response from the other person, we can safely assume that they are not ready emotionally yet to communicate with us. so the question is, how would we make use of this time to make our self a better individual until our ex is ready to communicate with us? All the best.
For them to quit leaving and coming back. They push me away. She left to another state two years ago, and a few months ago friended me on FB. I sent her a text after days ago asking how she was doing and she responded . Now nothing more., the
we had have dinner in his boat ..but onething it came out his mouth was not going the same ..i didnt understand but my replied was i wanted the same but its going to be alot better ..after our dinner we locked up went home to his place and we sat down watch some old movie and he brought me a bowl of ice cream my fav ..and we both real tired we both went to bed .last thing you know we are in eacj other arms making love ..we still both has a very strong connections .we got up we took his shower and i made up the bed he fix us both some breakfast and we just talking having a good time.. your advice does help me alot i cant thank you enought..
I just click on this video. It's 0:25 right now. I am sure that somewhere around 2mins, he is going to say something and then say how other youtube coaches tell u to do the opposite which is wrong. When he does it, I'll edit this comment and insert the time.
hello Clay, really need your advice... I made a BIG mistake by showing over anxious and too hyper, Here was the story, after she ignored me and took a business trip to avoided me. I called her up and she admitted "we cant be together because her parents think we dont fit"....huh? i've havent' even meet them. We dated about 2 months. She was raised from a traditional family with extreme rules which turned her to have a low very self esteem in relationship. She’s like a puppet to her parents. Ok, i said, respected your decision. But i screwed the NC rules and took my chance , emailed her daily, not to beg, but made up something like radio station, talks about humor, education, and interesting real stories. She did read and listens to them, more than onces, (I have a tracking app that can see if the person opens the mail and how long they reads them ) Anyway, from the last email, I put the "last show" with all the heart melting materials and a touchable song, claim I will stopped the show for health reasons. She called me and cried like a baby that night, said wants to see me in the morning. I was really hyper and over anxious, even showed a little desperation while messaging each other before went to bed. GUESS WHAT? she messages me the next morning and said her boss asked her to do something very important and won't see me today.... what am i'm thinking ...i said its ok, take care, then sent out a few stupid desperation messages again, last 2 messages were from her, "i just want to check and worried about your health, I want give you a few more hugs too. I applied the NC for 2 days now…from now on, I have to think cautiously straight. I have to show a lot of confidence do what I suppose to do, change myself, improve myself . As since as she doesn’t block me, I think I still have the chance….. how long do u think i can apply for the NC ?
E Simmons Hahahah. It's been more than a month for me. The no contact does work. And I'm slowly injecting contact with him. But I haven't made much changes so I'm doing re-contact really slowly. Only sent him 1 message so far.
Getting back together is a choice that a person has to make. If we feel that the breakup happened because of some reasons, then we have to evaluate if it is worth going back to the same relationship. There are people after doing thorough reflection on their past relationship realized that the relationship becomes unhealthy for them. So they decided instead to work on their personal improvement so they can bring their best self on their future relationships. :-)
You have to show your ex that they aren't walking back into the same dynamic that they left. It takes time to change their mind about you, so you'll have to keep showing up on your best behavior and you'll start to erase their poor opinion of you.
Okay I have a girl whom I really do like. It's been 3 months . She is 22 years old and I am 25 years old. We been seeing each other for the past 3 months.. but the thing with me I have kids and she doesn't .. she doesn't understand the kids part of my family.. I told her in the beginning of our first date that I have kids .. but I recently unfollow her from Instagram for so many reasons.. I trying to plan out a date for me and her. She said her plans are jams up and packed up. So I stop talking to her since the 14 of December .. she rejected me .. what should I do
My ex got into a rebound relationship and got married after she’s been looking for me. She found me and told me to be there for her and wait for her .She only calls me when she wants. I don’t know if it’s time to really close the door on our relationship.
Hi THECR1TY , I understand that this could be quite confusing emotionally for you but you have to check on your personal values as well. Moving on is a decision that you have to make and take ownership of.
Thanks for the reply. I’m coming to realization that she is married. And I’m just gonna let her know I love her but we can’t be more than friends until she is divorced or single. She needs to figure it out on her own. Because I don’t want nothing coming back to me in the future. She needs more growing up to do. I need to get back to my goals in life.
But what if she doesn't want to interact with you? I screwed up after the breakup by acting a bit desperate and needy and we had a fight over that. Even though I have sincerely apologize about my behavior during that period. Now she doesn't even want to reply to me if it's not work related, or even if she replied it's a short "Everything's fine" when I try to ask about how's everything. It's like the Great Wall of China between us now. Since then I've started no contact as it seems it's like it's what she wanted, but I do want her back so I don't know how to begin.
When it comes to not getting a reply from your ex, it is, in part due to how you are contacting them. For example, texting your ex "How are you?" is extremely easy for your ex to ignore. Why? because there is zero investment on your part. You are expecting them to make the first move and share something vulnerable. They aren't going to do that because they don't know how invested you are and there may also be reactance as well. Instead, ask something more specific. Or better yet, share something of yourself (without going overboard) to show her that this isn't the same old "How are you? / I'm fine" type of interaction that never goes anywhere.
@@ClayAndrews I did. It was something along the line of "hey, I heard someone made a scene at your office?" The only time she really replied me was when I asked if my tablet was with her as I needed it for my work. Or sharing stuff that I thought would be interesting to her. So maybe you are right about reactance / walling me. Since then I decide to respect her wishes and stop contacting her.
My ex left us day after Christmas, he doesn’t want to come home or try anymore. He’s living with his friend looking for an apartment. He’s had 3 best friends since high school (he’s 35) I’ve never met them in the 5 years we’ve been together. But he vents to them about our problems. I’ve been told they’ve been telling him to leave me for a year now. They don’t know my side of the story. He loves his friends and I feel he will not even try because of them. What do you do when they have friends or family that are against you? Please help me
My ex does not trust me and i didn't cheat he thinks I look to much. He walked out 2 months and promised to call and never did. Now what? I miss him so much and i tried to apologize when he left. How do i get him back
Hi Dyan. I'm sorry to hear about the breakup. We hope that you are holding on well. Trust is something that we earn over time and through transparency. Have you tried reaching out to your ex? If you are emotionally ready, you may try testing the waters if he is open to communicate with you.
Nice video Clay, but what if she says " I know you apologised but still it's not acceptable for me to get convinced. You apologised so i would say that's ok!!
It happened with me in long distant relationship and I apologised so much and was really heart broken but that's what she said to me like I mentioned above. We have not been talking for few weeks and she didn't block me on her WhatsApp and FB messenger. I really want her back :(
Clay I was ungrateful and affectionate and just a jerk at time and she told me to change but I never took the time to genuinely change but I wanted to. It's been a month and a half now now and I've sent letters and talked to her in person after the first month and about the steps I'm taking to change and explaining what I realized since we broke up. She says shes trying to move on and focus on her life and that she knows that I can change but that we cant be back together. Neither of us wanted the breakup we both cried when it happened and she tells me shes having a rough time. I think it's over, what do you think.
Hey ThahDeepSeaDivuh , It seems like both of you are not yet emotionally aligned. What you want is not what your ex wants at this time. Focus on building quality positive connections and be consistent in your actions to gain her trust. Allow her to move on from the pain that was caused by your old relationship. All the best.
@@ClayAndrews we sit by each other in college, there were no hard feelings but we dont really talk in person. She does reach out on Instagram and replies to my stories every once and a while. Right now I'm too emotional to sit by her, if I move seats how would I be able to talk to her when I start to feel better? I dont want to give myself false hope by talking to her right now. Should I continue to sit by her until I feel better even if it hurts because I don't know how I'd be able to talk to her if I do move seats
I broke up with my exgf about 7 months ago. She reached out to me 3 weeks later and I told her to go away. She jumped into another relationship and has been with this guy ever since. What are my chances of getting her back?
She ran to please adult kids and society the heart Will win I surrendered to god everything will happen in gods timing her adult kids and society will see unconditional love will find its way so that’s why we are not together so on the positive side our hearts will win god knows our hearts so there ya go love is love
We part ways last 2 months and having a no contact to move on. . But some of her things is in my room and she is planning to get it next month . Do i need to just leave the key so that she can get her things or do i need to personally help her pack her things? I feel awkward already aproaching her since we broke it feels like their is a wall between us. Whats ur advise? Ive been watching your videos everyday and it really helps
Thanks for the kind words! When it comes to whether or not you should help packing up her things, ask yourself what do you want? Do you want to help? Do you want the chance to talk to her while you sort through her belongings? Or would you rather not be there? Whatever you want is okay, but know what you want. Hope this helps.
I'm sorry to hear about what happened. Sometimes the stories that the person created behind their thoughts would create a certain reality for them. I hope the truth will eventually come out. All the best.
Clay my girl dumped me, I got with another girl because I missed her, I wanted her to think I was over it so I told her I was with someone else, have I destroyed her and I chances of getting together again
It seems like you are jumping into rebound relationship. We have seen that move done by other people. It did more harm than good. Focus on healing and the Advanced Relational Skills. If you really wanted to get into a new relationship, be sure that you have 100% moved on from the past relationship.
Hey clay! My ex boyfriend Chris has been giving me mixed signals like he keeps looking at me in class but doesn't show his emotions I miss him but we haven't talked for 2 years. I don't know if he still has feelings for me or not . Anybody has advice . 😔
These five steps are very helpful. I am trying for now to keep my interactions with my ex positive not negative during just texting him, i know he always preferred when we were together talking on the phone but i am just worried about getting the jitters. It took me some time to get over jitters i have with texting him but at the same time i don’t want to immediately jump to phone call too fast you know? Also Clay very dumb question, whenever i text my ex he would get back to pretty much almost immediately is this a good sign?
Hi Shayeree, I'm sorry to hear that you are still being blocked by your ex. If you have his home address, you have the choice to send him a physical letter. I may take some time for him to give a response but it will allow him to think things over on your initial attempt to reach out. All the best. :-)
Hmm, my ex actually doesnt meet al these criteria. I actually meet more of them, why am I actually the one wanting her back? I think I want that what you described and I dont think Im gonna get that from my ex... And lol that bit in the end xd I actually think she cant do better. Basically everyone arround me thought if we would break up it would be me leaving her. But yeah I agree, wouldnt want her coming back for that reason.
My friends said that she tried talking to me one day and I just ignored her. But I really honestly don’t remember that. That’s y she was mad at me. Should I apologize for that and see how she feels after?
hello clay. I cheated on my ex boyfriend which I know it was very wrong and I need to apologize but he doesn't want to see me in person and when I apologized through a text message he read but never replied to it. please what do I do. I need your help on this
Hi Sethina, I'm sorry to hear about that and we understand how anxious you might be right now. We hope that you are holding on well. It is good that you have sent an apology message to your ex. But you also need to practice empathy and understanding with regards to his feelings. Your ex may need some time to process your message and as you would know there are things that we need to accept and forgive along the way. What is important right now is that you took the ownership of your mistake and from there, give him the chance to assess himself, his emotions and on what to do with your message. All the best.
@@ClayAndrews so true I'm trying to for get about it people on Facebook sent me message showing me she was huge up on another person he in another relationship this is strange to me advice
HI ShirkActual, , Actions do speak louder than words. if you have made an authentic change from the inside, these changes will show up on how you handle the situation, communicate with her, etc. It is about the actions that you bring into the dynamics. Words are good but it has to be aligned on your actions. :-)
Why is it the ex needs to see the change in ourselves?? Can you do a video on what if the dumper dumps the dumpee due to the mother of the dumper that's that needy and can't live without her daughter/my ex gf, I'll give an example the ex's mum called 13 times in the space of one and half hours of me and the ex gf waking up just to keep asking when are you coming around, the expression on the ex gf's face said it all, the times I've said say no to your mum for once instead of being their at her beckoning call !!!
Your ex needs to see the change because they need to know that they aren't walking back into the same relationship that they walked out of in the first place.
Sounds like your ex is upset that you don't value the connection she has with her mother.
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Please, stop putting people who break up with you on a pedestal. You deserve much better. If they broke up with you leaving you sad and alone, it is them who must work hard to get you back. If they don't do it, they are just not worth for you. Place yourself on a pedestal and see how life miraculous changes for you. Love yourself, and life will love you back 10 times more. 100% guaranty.
You should never place anyone on a pedestal if you want a quality experience of life.
That is not always the case and life is not that simple. I know I was the one in the wrong, and it was my issues that caused our break-up
Would u be there friends or no ?
#1 - 1:20 - That you are genuinely sorry for anything wrong that you have done.
#2 - 3:22 - That you can have positive interactions with one another.
#3 - 5:43 - That you can have empathy and curiosity towards them. (Their point-of-view, their perspective.)
#4 - 7:25 - That they can trust you. Consistently.
#5 - 9:39 - (Before they can trust...) that they are not going back to the same relationship that they walked out on.
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Whatzapp +2348151857334
yes we are back together
How long did you wait before he came back?
How😔
When my ex dumped me I decided to do no contact forever period. I absolutely refuse to force or beg my way back into a persons life. Period!!!!!
It's good to know your limits and what you want.
I'm tired of being the one who should understand the situation of others!! I had a fight with my boyfriend and he shut down for a month! why would I always have to understand that he is in a difficult situation? I have also exams and living in a stress all the time why wouldn't he think about that? I mean i'm not living in heaven either..!
Calvin U believe me it's not about damage control mode, I went through this phase once we broke up, but we got back together now. we had a fight before month ago and he shut down and refused talking to me or pick up my calls anymore. I mean are we going to go through this everytime we have a fight? I'm confused now about our situation and I'm thinking of giving up on him..
Calvin U I will try my best, thanks for your support Calvin :)
This is just superb, I have been researching "make your ex want you back" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Fananiel Ex Supremacy - (should be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some incredible things about it and my co-worker got amazing success with it.
Mawj Kareem what ended up happening?
Dear Unicorns:
About getting X back:
1. R U genuinely sorry? That is, if U messed up.
2. U two can be positive again? Deep interactions.
3. U can have empathy and curiosity with them.
4. They can emotionally trust you to follow through and be there 4 them. Consistency needed.
5. You are different. The relationship is not still broken. Change the dynamic between the two of you. Look at your breakup.
Personally, I can't do do-overs.
Thanks for the summary.
@@ClayAndrews you must be like, “great! Now no one has to watch the video 😂”
I set a boundary with my ex because I noticed she was being disrespectful and me respecting myself and setting boundaries actually made us closer. I gained respect back and we even went on a “date” with our son at a local fair. She had so much fun. I want to initiate a dating plan, starting over. Going on dates and showing her the improved person.
Thanks for sharing! It sounds like you are having good progress and we appreciate your experience regarding setting healthy boundaries and how it made an impact on your dynamics.
Honestly this video has been the best at giving advice than any others because he gives examples and doesn't repeat the same stuff over and over
HI Nic TheTerrible, Thank you very much for your positive words and we truly appreciate that. :-)
this has all been my ex's fault really. sure its a two way street but her lack of communication has made it all her fault. I am one of the most understanding people you will meet, ever. I don't hold grudges and I rarely get mad ever. if she would have attempted to let me know how she was feeling and not just shutting down and not explaining things and letting herself become wore out and bitter and "falling out of love. BS but thats what she said." then we wouldn't even be here. 5.5 years like it was nothing. bye she said. selfish I say
Marshall Smith, frustrating as hell isnt it, my ex gf of 6 years did the same wouldn't hold any communication and I'd have to guess what was going on then when I said stuff she'd say look pushing again, and I'm sorry I'm not going over the same stuff, all I wanted to do was help her with her very very needy 78 year old mum, the ex gf is 50, I'm 44 she was the one who was childish in her ways, if it wasn't for her mum we'd be great, so I get your pain and frustration bud
Marshall Smith man i have the same situation. probably almost exact. but because of what happened i saw my short comings and what i need to change. but it was really traumatic and tragic. she also said she fell out of love.
I hope your situation turned out better and that there was a reconciliation. Any update on that? Best wishes to you. You clearly are willing to make things work as you are here to try and improve yourself.
Marshall Smith dude I can relate
I know I'm a year late but I'm exactly like you in the sense that I'm understanding and rarely get mad lol, and my ex also didn't try to communicate even when I stressed it many times that "communication is key" and we'd probably still be together if she actually tried to talk to me but nope, 1 day I told her something very true about her, she went defensive mode, played the victim card and made me seem and feel like a piece of shit and at the end of it broke up with me and told me "Let's be friends and I still love you but it'll get worse" why leave a person in such a weird way, it's like being stuck cuz you don't know what to do, I put up with so much of her bs and I didn't leave but the moment I say something for once, boom end of relationship smh
1. Genuinely apologize.
I apologized in how much toxic our relationship is. I did changes and I actually genuinely apologized and accepted my mistakes. She just said "I already forgave you. I just want space"
2. You can have positive interactions.
I can't she doesn't want to talk to me and the only reason why she talks to me is because of my parents wanting her to talk to me.
3. Have empathy and curiousity
I accepted my mistakes, I understand on what happened to us, I understand I hurt her too much for her to leave me. But she just want space.
4. Trust me
How can I earn her trust when she doesn't even want to talk to me?
5.They should know that they're not going to back to the same old relationship.
I've let her know but she just said "I'm not getting back together"
None of this applies to me and my ex. Even he admitted when he broke up with me that it was all his fault and I didnt do anything wrong. Everything was going great between us but within two days he did a 180° on me, panicked and ended everything. He kept saying that I was such a good person yet, he was looking for problems to sabotage his happiness with me. 99.99% of our interactions with each other were positve. We had both fun, and deep/meaningful conversations. I've never been with anyone more open than him. His schedule was busier than mine so I'd always tell him that we didn't have to talk everyday/talk as long everyday, but he insisted that we do because it was important to him. We were both always there for each other. I honestly want him to know that I'm the same, that I love him and that he was always good enough for me. His self sabotaging is what's keeping us apart.
This is such an inspiring video, made me look at myself and fix the things I've done wrong first before pointing fingers at my ex and what he did wrong, also gave me a different view on things, thanks very helpful.
Aaliyah Khan I may be able to help aaliyah
pankaj upadhyay how?
We can talk on whatsapp or mail if you will
I like your content. It's real and honest and it's actually informative, unlike so many of these videos where the creator is tripping over themselves to remain vague because they don't want to give too much away.
this is very difficult if you dealing with scorpio doesn't like to say sorry so never mind!
First of all if you or your ex cheated you should have a 0% chance of getting back don’t ever go back if they cheat.
So. What if it was a situation where I should have dumped him... which scared him so he dumped me? Cuz I'm sitting here like "hey, I don't trust him." etc.
My boyfriend and I were dating for three years. He broke up with me a week ago out of the blue. We had just gone on a gorgeous week-long vacation for spring break and we had been discussing a two-week vacation for August. We have been very happy together and the only real reason that I can see that caused the break-up was that it may have become too safe? We are just about to graduate college (though we are both sticking around for an extra year to get our Masters), and so a lot of our friends in long-term relationships are either getting engaged or breaking up. We had not talked about the future as much as some couples but had discussed the feasibility of both ending up in the same city after we finished school. I am so confused. When he broke up with me he was bawling and was generally very upset and was insistent that he was doing me a favor because he "didn't see it going anywhere" and "didn't want to lead me on". He mentioned hanging out with me and our mutual friends, still seeing my family before graduation, and even reinstated my invitation to vacay with him this summer. I spoke with him briefly a couple days afterward because it seemed he really didn't want to break up, but at this point, he was saying that I didn't make him happy and that he thinks I'm "a dead-end". Do you think the stress of graduation, his family's expectations and the fact that I'm his first relationship caused him to run?
Any updates? I’ve been through something similar
My ex and I had a great relationship for almost a year. Then A couple months ago I felt him pulling away. He told me he was worried. He was afraid of commitment. I already figured that but I have struggled too. I told him I understood and we did not have decide anything. I liked how thing were. One Saturday morning he freaked out when I stopped by on my way to work. He was upset and said a lot of things. I told him I knew he was scared. Then he said he was and was worried what would happen if we moved in together in a few years. I never had even mentioned it before. He had been thinking about it on his own. Then the next thing I know we were broken up.
Hi Robin, I'm sorry to hear about the breakup and it seems like your ex got truly anxious of what the future might bring. It is best that you give him the needed space and time at this point to sort his own thoughts and emotions out. We know that breakups are never easy and could be confusing or even frustrating. We hope that you are holding on well.
I'm sorry to hear that that happened to you. He sounds very similar to my ex. Everything was going great with us and then within less than 48 hours, we were broken up. I'm sure your ex has anxiety like mine does and he just created all these hypothetical problems in his head so he can justify pushing you away. I feel your pain and it sucks.
I actually didn't do anything wrong. He rven admitted that when he broke up with me. He said that it was all his fault because he wasn't ready and we were moving really fast. Told me that he realized that he's the one who led in the relationship and he shouldn't have pursued me as strongly as he did. All I did was reciprocate because I thought that we were both on the same page. And I treated him with the utmost dignity and respect, even when he broke up with me. So I literally have nothing to apologize for and he knows that.
Hi Clay ,
Am one of your avid fan in most of your videos , your advices are awesome especially like you should initiate to contact your ex even though they were the one who dump you , it's quite sensible and sometimes we have to level down our ego especially us women the vital point or target is you want your ex back , the most important thing is you have to aimed your happiness to be fulfilled for the rest of your life , life is so short .... Some men had high level of ego so we had to enhance our understanding if we want to live our lives to fullest ever after .....be with our man we love the most ....
Sorry there is some mistakes in my sentences , I think sometimes by pressing the keyboard Sorry guys who reads my comment ...
HI Jennifer, We agree with you when you say that you have to aim for y our own happiness. By having that, it means you are having an emotional independence/security and even self love... whether we will get back with our ex or be in a new relationship with someone else. :-) All the best.
Hi Clay, I've been watching your videos since my breakup and they haven been very informative and helpful but I feel I've done all the mistakes on the book and not too sure if I can get my ex back or not. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me about two months ago. We were in a committed relationship for just over two years. We're both in our mid-twenties. This is the longest and the most involved relationship for both of us, hence why I'm very heartbroken and quite anxious about the whole thing.
An argument lead to the breakup, we went from being the perfect couple one day to I can't stand you the next. She broke up with me on a night out in the pub and said I wasn't emotional enough for her and I were trying to change her too much when I was only trying to get her into a healthier lifestyle. She also said I never listened to her properly, which I did do as I was naive and lacked a few relationship skills.
I made the mistake of writing a long love letter, contacting her friends to get involved and the major the mistake of begging and pleading. She's completely walled me out and Now I'm in No-Contact. I should have gone straight into no contact after the breakup. She has told me that she still has feelings for me and cares about me but too afraid if we give it another go she might get hurt again. She also suggested that she wanted to be friends but I didn't agree to. We spoke about two weeks ago about our feelings and she told me to move on and get on with my life in a rather horrible way. She's very stubborn so talking to her or telling her I've changed is only going to push her away further.
She's still friends with me on social media and still has kept all the photos we have together. I don't know what to do. Do I carry on No-Contact for a period or something else? I'm using this time to working on myself. I'm getting therapy l to improve my listening skills and learn from my mistakes. I genuinely have feeling for this girl and want to perdure this because I believe we can get put our different to a side and work it out. I'm prepared to change to become this new, emotional individual but not too clear what direction I need to take. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
It's great to have a great deep connection, but it's difficult when they act like you don't exist at all. And won't communicate at all. So I'm lost with all these videos. All about the connection, but you can't have one without communicating. And yes I've tried.
That's why we have to learn when to push with communication and when to step back. This is where awareness, empathy and other Advanced Relational Skills would come in.
but what if the reason we broke up was that he doesnt love me anymore.. how do i get him back?...
how can i inbox you ? like where can i send the messege ? XD
Any update??
Why you want someone doesn't love you back
How do I apologize is she refuses to speak to me and would rather still trash talk
Hey Clay,
My girlfriend broke up with me after her dad died, she said I couldn't have done anything more for her but said she can't be there for me the way she should be. I never said anything negative to her to do with anything like that.
I was there for her all the way through it all
She's hurting and doesn't have the emotional availability to be in a relationship with you, hence why she broke it off. After a death of a parent, it's common for someone to emotionally close themselves off as an act of self preservation as well as a coping mechanism. I wouldn't take this as anything about YOU per se but what SHE emotionally needs right now. She is grieving....What you can do tho, hold space for her and let her know that you are there for her during this difficult time in her life.
And when she's closer to fully healing and it will be easier for her to breathe again without hurting, and her emotional capacity to be with you again will increase. Empathy and emotional acceptance will help you here. Those are also the foundational skills we teach to our members. Hang in there, Ryan.
Clay Andrews thank you Clay, we're going to go out for dinner soon before she goes back to her home town (we had a long distance relationship), I've felt like she's been having second thoughts about the break up recently
She said she wants to spend time with me before she goes back and wants to keep talking then too!
1) Ex must believe that u r genuinely sorry about what you did wrong
2) Let them know that u can have + interactions (To be real & honest)
3) Have empathy and curiosity about them (Get in their shoes)
4) Keep your word so that they can trust you (Follow thru with your actions)
5) They have to really know that this is NOT the OLD relationship they left
if you truly need help
+2349054773429
he was the one who help me when i was in the same situation
How can I even get through to my ex if they won’t even respond?
Hey Alina, A successful communication would involve a two-way process between the sender and the receiver of the message. So it is an interactive process. If we are in the position of not getting a response from the other person, we can safely assume that they are not ready emotionally yet to communicate with us. so the question is, how would we make use of this time to make our self a better individual until our ex is ready to communicate with us? All the best.
I have been working so hard and I never hear from her.
Everyone is trying to keep us apart god knows our hearts we will be gods plan
For them to quit leaving and coming back. They push me away. She left to another state two years ago, and a few months ago friended me on FB. I sent her a text after days ago asking how she was doing and she responded . Now nothing more., the
we did it ..last night it was amazing
You and your ex are back together? That's great to hear! Congratulations!
Did it happen right away or was it a process ?
it just happen
But at this point he hates me and doesn’t want anything to do with me
we had have dinner in his boat ..but onething it came out his mouth was not going the same ..i didnt understand but my replied was i wanted the same but its going to be alot better ..after our dinner we locked up went home to his place and we sat down watch some old movie and he brought me a bowl of ice cream my fav ..and we both real tired we both went to bed .last thing you know we are in eacj other arms making love ..we still both has a very strong connections .we got up we took his shower and i made up the bed he fix us both some breakfast and we just talking having a good time..
your advice does help me alot i cant thank you enought..
Nenita, I'm happy for you and your ex getting back together. I hope that you enjoy every moment of your new relationship.
I just click on this video. It's 0:25 right now. I am sure that somewhere around 2mins, he is going to say something and then say how other youtube coaches tell u to do the opposite which is wrong. When he does it, I'll edit this comment and insert the time.
@@MariaLopez-kl6zx what's this?
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Whatzapp
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hello Clay, really need your advice... I made a BIG mistake by showing over anxious and too hyper, Here was the story, after she ignored me and took a business trip to avoided me. I called her up and she admitted "we cant be together because her parents think we dont fit"....huh? i've havent' even meet them. We dated about 2 months. She was raised from a traditional family with extreme rules which turned her to have a low very self esteem in relationship. She’s like a puppet to her parents. Ok, i said, respected your decision. But i screwed the NC rules and took my chance , emailed her daily, not to beg, but made up something like radio station, talks about humor, education, and interesting real stories. She did read and listens to them, more than onces, (I have a tracking app that can see if the person opens the mail and how long they reads them ) Anyway, from the last email, I put the "last show" with all the heart melting materials and a touchable song, claim I will stopped the show for health reasons. She called me and cried like a baby that night, said wants to see me in the morning. I was really hyper and over anxious, even showed a little desperation while messaging each other before went to bed. GUESS WHAT? she messages me the next morning and said her boss asked her to do something very important and won't see me today.... what am i'm thinking ...i said its ok, take care, then sent out a few stupid desperation messages again, last 2 messages were from her, "i just want to check and worried about your health, I want give you a few more hugs too. I applied the NC for 2 days now…from now on, I have to think cautiously straight. I have to show a lot of confidence do what I suppose to do, change myself, improve myself . As since as she doesn’t block me, I think I still have the chance….. how long do u think i can apply for the NC ?
Hello, if he's the one who cheated and initiated the breakup? What am I supposed to apologise for?
Vanessa Lim thats exactly what im going through
E Simmons Hahahah. It's been more than a month for me. The no contact does work. And I'm slowly injecting contact with him. But I haven't made much changes so I'm doing re-contact really slowly. Only sent him 1 message so far.
we were but we are not
I hurt her emotions but i apologized to her.
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he was the one who help me when i was in the same situation
Whatapp him
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What would be the benefit of doing all of this if it was their fault?
Getting back together is a choice that a person has to make. If we feel that the breakup happened because of some reasons, then we have to evaluate if it is worth going back to the same relationship. There are people after doing thorough reflection on their past relationship realized that the relationship becomes unhealthy for them. So they decided instead to work on their personal improvement so they can bring their best self on their future relationships. :-)
What about a close minded and stubborn ex?
You have to show your ex that they aren't walking back into the same dynamic that they left. It takes time to change their mind about you, so you'll have to keep showing up on your best behavior and you'll start to erase their poor opinion of you.
@@ClayAndrews Thanks a lot for taking your time answering to me! it means a lot.
Okay I have a girl whom I really do like. It's been 3 months . She is 22 years old and I am 25 years old. We been seeing each other for the past 3 months.. but the thing with me I have kids and she doesn't .. she doesn't understand the kids part of my family.. I told her in the beginning of our first date that I have kids .. but I recently unfollow her from Instagram for so many reasons.. I trying to plan out a date for me and her. She said her plans are jams up and packed up. So I stop talking to her since the 14 of December .. she rejected me .. what should I do
Thanks to tell this nice
My ex got into a rebound relationship and got married after she’s been looking for me. She found me and told me to be there for her and wait for her .She only calls me when she wants. I don’t know if it’s time to really close the door on our relationship.
Hi THECR1TY , I understand that this could be quite confusing emotionally for you but you have to check on your personal values as well. Moving on is a decision that you have to make and take ownership of.
Thanks for the reply. I’m coming to realization that she is married. And I’m just gonna let her know I love her but we can’t be more than friends until she is divorced or single. She needs to figure it out on her own. Because I don’t want nothing coming back to me in the future. She needs more growing up to do. I need to get back to my goals in life.
@@seeflow whatspp him..
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There isn’t isn’t anything left to get.
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Wow. Thank you Clay.
This video was made on my birthday
But what if she doesn't want to interact with you? I screwed up after the breakup by acting a bit desperate and needy and we had a fight over that. Even though I have sincerely apologize about my behavior during that period. Now she doesn't even want to reply to me if it's not work related, or even if she replied it's a short "Everything's fine" when I try to ask about how's everything. It's like the Great Wall of China between us now. Since then I've started no contact as it seems it's like it's what she wanted, but I do want her back so I don't know how to begin.
When it comes to not getting a reply from your ex, it is, in part due to how you are contacting them.
For example, texting your ex "How are you?" is extremely easy for your ex to ignore. Why? because there is zero investment on your part. You are expecting them to make the first move and share something vulnerable. They aren't going to do that because they don't know how invested you are and there may also be reactance as well.
Instead, ask something more specific.
Or better yet, share something of yourself (without going overboard) to show her that this isn't the same old "How are you? / I'm fine" type of interaction that never goes anywhere.
@@ClayAndrews I did. It was something along the line of "hey, I heard someone made a scene at your office?" The only time she really replied me was when I asked if my tablet was with her as I needed it for my work. Or sharing stuff that I thought would be interesting to her. So maybe you are right about reactance / walling me. Since then I decide to respect her wishes and stop contacting her.
My ex left us day after Christmas, he doesn’t want to come home or try anymore. He’s living with his friend looking for an apartment. He’s had 3 best friends since high school (he’s 35) I’ve never met them in the 5 years we’ve been together. But he vents to them about our problems. I’ve been told they’ve been telling him to leave me for a year now. They don’t know my side of the story. He loves his friends and I feel he will not even try because of them. What do you do when they have friends or family that are against you? Please help me
Hello dear
Get him on whtz app
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My ex does not trust me and i didn't cheat he thinks I look to much. He walked out 2 months and promised to call and never did. Now what? I miss him so much and i tried to apologize when he left. How do i get him back
Hi Dyan. I'm sorry to hear about the breakup. We hope that you are holding on well. Trust is something that we earn over time and through transparency. Have you tried reaching out to your ex? If you are emotionally ready, you may try testing the waters if he is open to communicate with you.
@@ClayAndrews no i am scared to
Nice video Clay, but what if she says " I know you apologised but still it's not acceptable for me to get convinced. You apologised so i would say that's ok!!
It happened with me in long distant relationship and I apologised so much and was really heart broken but that's what she said to me like I mentioned above. We have not been talking for few weeks and she didn't block me on her WhatsApp and FB messenger. I really want her back :(
Clay I was ungrateful and affectionate and just a jerk at time and she told me to change but I never took the time to genuinely change but I wanted to. It's been a month and a half now now and I've sent letters and talked to her in person after the first month and about the steps I'm taking to change and explaining what I realized since we broke up. She says shes trying to move on and focus on her life and that she knows that I can change but that we cant be back together. Neither of us wanted the breakup we both cried when it happened and she tells me shes having a rough time. I think it's over, what do you think.
Hey ThahDeepSeaDivuh , It seems like both of you are not yet emotionally aligned. What you want is not what your ex wants at this time. Focus on building quality positive connections and be consistent in your actions to gain her trust. Allow her to move on from the pain that was caused by your old relationship. All the best.
@@ClayAndrews we sit by each other in college, there were no hard feelings but we dont really talk in person. She does reach out on Instagram and replies to my stories every once and a while. Right now I'm too emotional to sit by her, if I move seats how would I be able to talk to her when I start to feel better? I dont want to give myself false hope by talking to her right now. Should I continue to sit by her until I feel better even if it hurts because I don't know how I'd be able to talk to her if I do move seats
I broke up with my exgf about 7 months ago. She reached out to me 3 weeks later and I told her to go away. She jumped into another relationship and has been with this guy ever since. What are my chances of getting her back?
5%, try to get past it
Jozf very slim chance. Find someone else to date and maybe just be texting friends with your ex since texting isn't very intrusive
another awesome vid, thanks so much clay :)
G G wow we have the same name
She ran to please adult kids and society the heart
Will win I surrendered to god everything will happen in gods timing her adult kids and society will see unconditional love will find its way so that’s why we are not together so on the positive side our hearts will win god knows our hearts so there ya go love is love
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We part ways last 2 months and having a no contact to move on. . But some of her things is in my room and she is planning to get it next month . Do i need to just leave the key so that she can get her things or do i need to personally help her pack her things? I feel awkward already aproaching her since we broke it feels like their is a wall between us. Whats ur advise? Ive been watching your videos everyday and it really helps
Thanks for the kind words! When it comes to whether or not you should help packing up her things, ask yourself what do you want? Do you want to help? Do you want the chance to talk to her while you sort through her belongings? Or would you rather not be there? Whatever you want is okay, but know what you want. Hope this helps.
@@ClayAndrews ok ill certainly ask myself thank u so much :)
I didn’t cheat but he thinks I did
I'm sorry to hear about what happened. Sometimes the stories that the person created behind their thoughts would create a certain reality for them. I hope the truth will eventually come out. All the best.
Clay my girl dumped me, I got with another girl because I missed her, I wanted her to think I was over it so I told her I was with someone else, have I destroyed her and I chances of getting together again
It seems like you are jumping into rebound relationship. We have seen that move done by other people. It did more harm than good. Focus on healing and the Advanced Relational Skills. If you really wanted to get into a new relationship, be sure that you have 100% moved on from the past relationship.
@@ClayAndrews clay my question is have I destroyed my chances with my ex
leeo o brien you don’t
@@leeoobrien7726 Did you get back with your ex?
Hey clay! My ex boyfriend Chris has been giving me mixed signals like he keeps looking at me in class but doesn't show his emotions I miss him but we haven't talked for 2 years. I don't know if he still has feelings for me or not . Anybody has advice . 😔
3:32 looool
These five steps are very helpful. I am trying for now to keep my interactions with my ex positive not negative during just texting him, i know he always preferred when we were together talking on the phone but i am just worried about getting the jitters. It took me some time to get over jitters i have with texting him but at the same time i don’t want to immediately jump to phone call too fast you know? Also Clay very dumb question, whenever i text my ex he would get back to pretty much almost immediately is this a good sign?
Melissa someone can help you his name is baba oz tuda he helped me get my x back
Chat him on whtzapp
lol hes so funny "happy fun" clapping !!!lol
3 out of 5
my no contact is about to complete 30 days and I m still blocked...what should I do next...what should be my next step ..plz help
Shayeree Saikia continue NC until they reach out. That's all you can do.
thanks.
Hi Shayeree, I'm sorry to hear that you are still being blocked by your ex. If you have his home address, you have the choice to send him a physical letter. I may take some time for him to give a response but it will allow him to think things over on your initial attempt to reach out. All the best. :-)
Clay Andrews
ok thank u!
You can also join him in a public place if you know where he hangs out.
Hi Clay, do you do private coaching?
Yes, I do. But I know someone else who can help you as my schedule is full. email in and we'll send you that information.
Chris, my ex keeps saying baby steps. Is it a good thing?
Yes, it is. It is important to take things slow and focus on the process and not the label.
And he’s being really immature because he didn’t even tell me he was in a rebound relationship I had to hear from the other girl Facebook messenger
Whatspp him...
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hi Clay what country are you frome . ???
I'm from the US. :-)
Hmm, my ex actually doesnt meet al these criteria. I actually meet more of them, why am I actually the one wanting her back? I think I want that what you described and I dont think Im gonna get that from my ex...
And lol that bit in the end xd I actually think she cant do better. Basically everyone arround me thought if we would break up it would be me leaving her.
But yeah I agree, wouldnt want her coming back for that reason.
What should I do when she is talking to me one week and then the next week she is mad at me for what ever reason? Help plz @clayandrews
Can you figure out the possible reason why she got mad at you? People don't go mad without any possible triggers.
My friends said that she tried talking to me one day and I just ignored her. But I really honestly don’t remember that. That’s y she was mad at me. Should I apologize for that and see how she feels after?
hello clay.
I cheated on my ex boyfriend which I know it was very wrong and I need to apologize but he doesn't want to see me in person and when I apologized through a text message he read but never replied to it. please what do I do. I need your help on this
Hi Sethina, I'm sorry to hear about that and we understand how anxious you might be right now. We hope that you are holding on well. It is good that you have sent an apology message to your ex. But you also need to practice empathy and understanding with regards to his feelings. Your ex may need some time to process your message and as you would know there are things that we need to accept and forgive along the way. What is important right now is that you took the ownership of your mistake and from there, give him the chance to assess himself, his emotions and on what to do with your message.
All the best.
Sethina Amoako You need to give them time. There's an absolute shitstorm of emotions going through him. Trust is fickle, it may never come back.
Dont cheat no more lessons learned
Once a cheat and always a cheater. Hope you learn from that and move on.
Clay Andrew's I apologize like what you said she still not responding but she text me I do get it
Apologizing will not guarantee an immediate response. let your ex process the information that you have laid out on our message.
@@ClayAndrews so true I'm trying to for get about it people on Facebook sent me message showing me she was huge up on another person he in another relationship this is strange to me advice
Iam dating someone else now
emmm
Whatzapp +2348151857334
"Yay happy fun" lol
Here's some advice:
Don't be pathetic and NEVER take your ex back.
That is one school of thought.
Thank you
HI Clay, Should i contact my ex on her birthday?
How do I go about communicating point #5?
HI ShirkActual, , Actions do speak louder than words. if you have made an authentic change from the inside, these changes will show up on how you handle the situation, communicate with her, etc. It is about the actions that you bring into the dynamics. Words are good but it has to be aligned on your actions. :-)
Clay's Emo Side!! Lol jk jk
Whatzapp +2348151857334
This is total crap
And what in particular do you disagree with? And what do you think your ex needs from you?
Engagement ,clay is smart
dam ,you ramble on ,,lol,,,
How can I even get through to my ex if they won’t even respond?
Whatspp him..
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+12602687717
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