Tackling male suicide | Jane Powell | TEDxCourtauldInstitute
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 มิ.ย. 2024
- Suicide is the single biggest killer of men in the UK. In this poignant and moving talk, Jane Powell calls for a radical revision in how we talk about and approach male suicide. Sexism and mental health stigma still prevail. If we want to tackle male suicide, she explains, we need to think of mental health as something that affects us all -- not just 1 in 4 -- and we must reconsider what it means to 'be a man.'
Jane Powell is a lifelong campaigner who heads up and founded the charity CALM, the campaign against living miserably, dedicated to preventing male suicide. With a track record of reaching and engaging men on the hitherto untouchable subject of male suicide for over 10 years, Powell has crafted a powerful brand and a service, pulling in companies like Topman & Lynx to help raise the issue of male suicide, and delivered a recent campaign #biggerissues with Lynx which reached an audience of over 23 million. Her CV boasts years spent campaigning at Greenham Common Womens Peace Camp, CND and Charter 88.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
The moment a man admits that he needs help, people no longer see him as a man but as a failure.
you seem to be suggesting that there is a stigma associated with getting help for mental health needs. I think that is regressing, especially in this day and age with a pandemic affecting us in so many ways.
@@wylier There is for men, not just mental help but help in general. I was told by my own uncle a few years ago that as men we should not ask for help unless it`s an emergency and we absolutely need it.
exactly I tried to ask my uncle for help he told me to "man up" I'm just tired of the stigma.
Truth - harsh truth
Let's be real, society doesn't care about this, the data has been around for years.
Because its men if its woman it’s well be Different
I agree 100%. i have suicidal thoughts all the time and no-one takes me or any other man seriously. so I do not talk about it anymore. one day it may be done. Let's face it very few give a damn about males!!!
Robert Longwill Try to find someone who care just try
@@bktk5714 think I can find someone who does actually care and who will be confidential. Probably my minister. Although she's retired she told me to contact her anytime I need to talk. Maybe that's the way to go right now. I know my ex-wife doesn't give a damn. When she found out that I tried to commit suicide over 9 years ago she just looked at me and laughed and said " you just did that to make me feel sorry for you so I would take you back", that's when I realized who my real friends are. And one of them was not her
Derp
I hate opening up because no one gives a damn or downplays it. I’ve lost interest in things slowly for years. At this point whatever happens happens.
You don’t have it as hard as a woman does so yeah, that’s why nobody wants to hear it
@@TheCc064 ‘’You don’t have it as hard as a woman’’ is just encouraging sexism and drives more men to suicide.
@@voiceofreason2691 even better
@@TheCc064 👎Not cooI, ma’am, not cooI👎
@@voiceofreason2691 I think it’s a troll. But I’m also equally believing that there’s a real person like that who believes that because I’ve met a good many who think like that. Either way you’re right it’s not cool
No one cares about this. This channel has over 4 million subs but this video has less than 900 views. It's been out for 3 months. This woman is fighting a losing battle.
Zero Mega
It's truely disgusting how men are treated in society. man are literally treated like slaves this is the trueth slavery is alive and well. when women divorce men they take their children, house, pension, alimoney ect and women receive almost s 'll welfare men pay almost all taxs. nobody cares this is why make sucide rates are so high
RAw ness Lol...the comment went straight over your head. Congrats
Your reply was 11 months ago. Her present views are 6856. I think someone must like her speech.
Zero Mega you have to give people a chance hon..im just finding it...some people dont know that this affects them until they learn how it does.. Some people dont realize they care yet...this topic is important and men are some of the most caring people i have met in the world...i care and if i do then ik others do too
If she's fighting a losing battle, than maybe you should help her win it. What are you doing?
When I go, I'm leaving a 10 page letter explaining everything in detail.
Hey, if you’re still here, I’m proud of you. Keep it that way.
Don't waste the ink if you are a man, no one will read it.
In response to those saying why didn't a man present it? The answer is in the presentation. A man wouldn't be taken seriously.
Ok? What if a man aIso states cIearIy that he *strongIy* beIieves in equaIity of gender and respects women’s rights?
@carrots with internet connection lnteresting... So peopIe even disrespect *men who respect women?* You IiteraIIy hate a person who try to make women happy! lsn't that in itseIf technicaIIy disrespectfuI to women?
@@thevoiceofreason9797 yeah unnoticed by society that they are also dissrespecting woman
@@thevoiceofreason9797 now society is bad for men and woman
I remember bringing up the male suicide epidemic to my mother as a form of reaching out and she just shut me down telling me that women probably have more suicidal attempts but men usually go through with it more. Even though this was true I felt shut out. I got so close to it many, many times but eventually I realized that depression sucks and I just started pretending I was happy until it actually happened. Sounds silly but it worked.
Edit: update as of March 2021, this did not work. I still am depressed quite often. I think faking happiness could possibly be just running from your problems. I'm no expert though so just proceed with caution.
Yeenosaur thanks for sharing and i'm glad it worked for you. I'm going to try that as well. Waking up every day with a positive attitude, not dwelling on the negative, and hopefully over time I see changes. Good luck to everyone.
It's called fake it till you make it. And it can work but it isn't a cure all.
I can relate. When my uncle killed himself a year ago, I mentioned to others that male suicide is an epidemic that needs to be addressed. They brushed me off and said "well women make more attempts at suicide". This is the society we live in, where men are disposable and not valued.
Yeah your right,its a shame that men go through more suicide than women, yet no one cares
Thank you for your honesty. I am right there with you. I have struggled with wanting to end my life since I was 18. I'm 53 now.
It's more than that, mental health and depression plays a part in it all, the feeling of loneliness, no one giving a damn about you, no one giving you that attention of being a friend, your in a dark hole with your dark thoughts that clouds you. This is just something I feel that leads a Male to suicide. We are told to man up and we are always told that crying is a sign of weakness, we don't want to feel weak but we want to feel acknowledged for who we are. None of that happens in this day an age. Plus Society likes to blame Men for all of this.
The universe doesnt give a toss about any of us. Every one of us is Sissyphus endlessly rolling rocks uphill without ceasing for no peace until the final moments.
It is different for men and how the world views them as failures if they do not achieve in a world which is stacked against them.
This woman sells herself short. I can FEEL the weight upon her shoulders. Her caring comes off her in waves. She's about the last person (demographically) I would predict to give this talk. That, to me, is remarkable.
watching this over 3 years after posting and 21.1k views.. wow... just wow!
It's unfortunate how life is like in the moment, a society where men are demonised and criminalised, a divorce that forces men into a brick wall with no path to get out of, one door thats there which is taking your life and ending the pain. It won't be talked about much because it will always be like that.
5 years later and nothing has changed
What a shock
Maybe it increased 🤣👍
That would be great
@@Dara-wk5ty HELP LMAOO spot on
@Jump Jack Way more people care about female suicide than male, that's the whole point
@@tuhimerameraa1 Damn, Y'all hoes are low for that one. Corny
It's pitiful that the workers, plumbers, armed forces, police, firefighters and several such professions where men are the workhorses of society, yet no one makes it a priority to care for men! It's shameful that men are expected to provide but not expected to receive any care.
Men can get virtually every form of care there is - medical, psychological, financial, and what have you.
@@wylier As long society expects men to be breadwinners and providers before being humans , the statistics will be always be there. Never recognize them as folks who might need help, it’s going to be the same. I’m guilty of it and so are many other men. It’s a mindset that has been driven into men
:(
@@wylier if ypu actually think that, I'm afraid to tell you you're living in a bubble mate
@@jackquentin1950 OK, then prove me wrong. Google what I typed above, and see the results you get in the search engine.
From the time I turned 16. I've had suicidal thoughts. I've been living with them for 10 years now I know it will happen one day
same.
i think the biggest impact this video had on me were the 2 slides towards the beginning.. that hurt..
I have been to my GP. I was given 10 mins to explain myself and tell my gp what was wrong with me. I felt rushed and simply didn't have time to explain everything. The response was medications or counseling. I didn't want to jump right into meds so I signed up to counseling. I was then told my the organization that there was a 4-5 month waiting list. I need help now and there must be something more than just jumping straight on the medication train. The mental health service in the UK is a joke by no fault of their own, the truth is the services are overwhelmed. There has been a massive increase in people developing mental health issues in the past 10 years and the services can't provide help to everyone who needs it because they are not getting enough funding.
it's the socializing of medicine, it destroys incentives. Doctors, psycholgists, therapists etc. gets paid the same no matter what, because the paycheck comes from the government and not the customers. So we get arrogant indifferent people with no motivation of pleasing the customer.
Imagine if the customers paid directly and only did so if they did a great job. It would change things a lot.
@@nalissolus9213 We have the same problem in the US in a capitalism system. It took me months to get treatment.
Tell them you identify as a woman, you’ll get instant help thrown at you from a whole host of services.
Jane, you ask the same question that I think about every week. How bad does it have to get before society realizes that something is wrong with how we relate to men and what men's rights and needs are ?
Now it's 2023.
We need to talk about this. Men Struggle. Our Sons, Fathers, Brothers struggle.
Give men love.
Once the male runs out of money the woman runs off with the children.
Sad but true
I wrote a page and a half about the suicidal thoughts that I have and then deleted it because I don't want anyone to know the depths of my despair. I want the makers of this video to know that it has helped me a bit and I thank you for it.
What I’d like to point out is that it’s a women talking about male suicide. If a man try’s to talk about anything female related, people instantly put him in his place. Why aren’t we demanding that a man talk about this topic? She isn’t a man, she doesn’t not know what it truly is to be a man.
Ironic right?
That would be mansplaining though.
JDub10lbs18in no, this is womansplaning. This topic is about men, so men should be the ones talking.
If people dont care about when men take their own lives, why would they care when men talk?
Honestly... idgaf who it is that's talking about it. So long as someone is talking about it. Unfortunately, it seems that people don't really care either way. Which is sort of sad.
Not really, because if a man did the exact same talk he would’ve been universally ignored, because he’s a man
When you tell an entire men that they are supposed to be stoic, endure and disregard hardship, then others are supposed to disregard men's hardship too.
I have loud tinnitus 24/7 unemployed plus going eventually blind, and losing my hearing, I am a male from 2018 June my life started spiraling out of control. I am suicidal
Been dealing with suicidal thoughts off and on for sometime. Speaker is way off. I have tried counciling, but its always awkward and uncomfortable.
Would more money make your life better because for me it would ? A man's worth is based on his money, and if men had more money, not just the Bill Gates', and Jeff bezos, then there would be less men's mental health and suicide.
Lucky you. In my area there’s a 3 year waiting list for any type of treatment, yet if I was a woman it’s about 2 weeks
Stay away from women. Join a men’s group. Find a group of men who are willing to open up, even if you don’t agree 100% with them. Serve other men, serving people is always helpful but the women expect it and the men appreciate it. I work in a hospital and that’s what keeps me from ending it. I have seen too much.
I felt that way too so I gave up
It's funny that at the beginning she says that she's not interested in men....but if you listen to her talk, it's evident that she cares very deeply....maybe to her own surprise. She almost sounds the same as many MRA's. (I'm not an MRA but I play one on TV)
Sorry, Father, I would believe her as far as I could throw her. I have no malice but when I heard those sighs I felt she was trying to convince me that she cared. I listened to be respectful to the topic. You will know them by their fruits. I’ve yet to see the fruit tree planted outside of a men’s group setting run by men for men only.
Thank you 👏
You know something, Ms. Powell, we don't want your help, or your efforts to bring this to light. No self-respecting male would. Men have been conditioned since birth that they're the reason for the world's suffering, they are only valued and regarded positively if they do something first. We're told to shut up, to stop crying, or we're just plain old ignored by women (and even other men), society in general. A significant population of men have realized this and refuse help from others because we know that it's all a sham, that in reality, we're all alone and only ourselves can fix our lot in life.
So please leave us alone and live your own life. We'll figure things out on our own. After all, we've been told our entire lives to do so, to the point that we're experts.
Somewhat relieved to see Nike didn't sponsor this video.
Wonder if Ted know any men willing to talk about this, because I haven't found a video of a man talking about male suicide yet. Funny that
dan taylor no one listens to us
It's the stigmatization for me.
Oh there are but its had very little views
Bro, no one listens to us
Remember men: Its always your fault!
Be quiet.
bug off with your gaslighting, woman ☕ you even know NOTHING about how men end their problems in their own way.
Anyone else watching this video while crying
???
Me bro
Yes tbh, crying because finally there's a talk on this issue plagueing us, and see and adresses it's actual cause: unnoticed misandry/sexism towards men.
And then I was crying to notice that the subs on the channel and the actual low number of view this video has, is a direct reflection of the issue.
My heart literally dropped seeing that. Like I knew it would be higher for the men, I just didn't think seeing it would be this painful.
Thank you.
Well being a man doesn't really conflict with being emotional, because the truth is that we are actually more emotional than women, we just don't reveal it. But if we do need to reveal, then we should be a man and have the courage to do it, rather than act dumb and not ask for any help at all.
Men are more emotional than women? Where on earth did you get that from?
Jack Temple Literally every popular emotional story ever is written by men, do you think those emotions have basis in reality?
Aye try that and see how far it gets you
Thinking about suicide every day. Life seems meaningless most of the time.
Easy. Abolish alimony, reform child support, introduce default shared custody and get rid of Duluth model.
It’s right we need to go back to where if a woman gets pregnant they don’t get the world at their feet and they have to work to feed their kids like they did for over 1500 years
i couldn't stop tearing up while watching this. the fact that i feel embarrassed about tearing up is... yeah
Well said indeed.
she obviously cares deeply about what she does. :)
I'm have considered suicide as an option. I even have a plan. 1 thing is holding me back. My job, because my staff depends on me to show up for work.
raven22at you are a warrior.
Stay strong wish you the best
I hope that was meant as a joke
By no means is suicide the answer. I definitely can understand what you must be feeling, but even so I'd be wrong for not saying something. I'm not sure from where in the world you're from, but please call a suicide prevention hotline or talk to your Physician. There's hope out there and (even though it may seem cruel at the moment) a wonderful world to live in.
Yeah man, only reason I haven't yet is because I don't want to hurt my mother like that.
Good video, bad comments
men live in an emotional state, that is not shown. men will work toward a solution until its make no sense to continue, then that is the end. when the social system keep telling men are at fault, when individual know he is not, he had no choice but end. this is suppression by social justice leading the way to provide the environment to falsely accuse men. the number just keep going!!!
Men dont need mental health help. Men that committs suicide have already decided it and its something in the real world, most often a woman. Talking to someone isnt gonna help anyone that doesnt just want attention. And that it get more is not that strange, the way society is today men are lost in a world were society say they should be in a way that is completly against a million years of evolution.
Ditto
I don't think I would have reached the age I have now, had I had access to a gun. I struggled in the labour market for 15 years before I finally got a decent job.
If I had a gun I wouldn’t be here
@@christianlennon714 Hang on brother.
The thing is it's sad that a woman had to address this
“I have no interest in men or their most common pursuits, no expertise or knowledge of mental health, or male issues generally. I do however have a microphone and an approving audience.”
To the haters below (disclosure: me 60 year old white male): If you know anything about people, you'll see she has a dry delivery. She clearly isn't, as a speaker, into 'performing'; she is speaking matter-of-factly. "No interest in men" announces she prefers women as partners, not that she despises all males. Sheesh, guys..... As for the rest of her presentation, she obviously cares deeply about humanity otherwise she, or anyone, would not waste a minute of their time doing the valuable, and original, service she is performing. Dear, oh dear, the hate out there..... And the love if you're looking..... Did I say "If you're looking?" I should have.
You could hear it in her voice, she had a lump in her throat and was on the verge of crying.
The fact is, as a suicidal young men muself, this is all we need, all we beg for is a little compassion instead of being discarded like we don't matter.
The fact that she also is so surprised that no one talks about this, and explains it's because of the sexism, she is 1000% correct, the amount of hate directed at young men you see everywhere these days just for having XY chromosones is immense.
Growing up as young kids being told everywhere how terrible we are, and movies and shows always showing men as dumbasses, while when we see a girl or woman do something that men are (oftenly even unjustly) blamed for receive praises, proves the sexism in the 21st century against men.
I've had women get mad at me for being depressed and suicidal when I finally shared being suicidal (something I feel terrible about) and all they could come up with were very sexist rethoric and turning it around into her being a victim and suddenly it was all about her.
Not 1 second did she try to empathize, never tried to listen.
And everything in a relationship is also blamed on men, 99% is damned if you do, damned if you dont.
This woman should replace Emma Watson as the new "face" of feminism.
@Blackwolf MGTOW you support mgtow?
Normally im pretty versatile and liberal in my thinking. But here i feel like she is undermining a serious problem bc it is men shes speaking of. I have a dad, uncles, gpas, brothers i love very much and its serious. I dont care how strong you think they are or should be... I dont care how they undermine women or your views on men in general and at this moment i dont care about us women and our mental health issues...i care about the topic...mens mental health issues. I feel like you could have tackled the subject different or gotten a man to speak on it...its serious no matter who goes through it...This is true but at this moment we are talking about mens mental health and its important...
I agree with what you wrote, but I think unfortunately, given the animosity or contempt against men nowadays, a man delivering the speech would have been less effective or not well received.
Thanks for admitting that women criticise men for being emotionally vulnerable.
Time and time again women have told me that this never, ever happens.
Incredible lecture
Are these the misconceptions we have about male suicide? That's horrible.
Scary we will be part of those stats😔
U know I think I can feel it.... my time is short 1997 -
Doctors cannot help with depression or suicidal thoughts
M Ridlon I miss the old days when depression was solved easily by cathartic violence.. Nothing would make me happier than establishing physical dominance over Men like you :)
Terminology was poorly chosen. “They use better methods” no! They use more lethal methods. See how just changing a couple words changes the “feel” of the sentence? Better indicates something good, to be obtained we all look for something better. Lethal methods refers to the truth and it’s not better it’s deadlier. That’s not better.
❤️☮️✌🏻 LOVE
*Tackling male suicide*
Guy named Male Suicide: NO WAI-
i think we have hit a point of unsustainibility, Late Capitalism, diminishing roles, toxic if you succeed, failure if you don't, unwanted if you speak out. There's only a few ways out for some of us, the rest of us... might as well be statistics... we already know society is cool with it
Brains, brawn and looks everything else is just a horror film.
Soon
OMG you are a rock star. thank you.
I mean where men we have no feelings so
If she hates men why is she doing this
Did you even watch the video?
It's the reason the guy was crying not the fact that people saw him.
My brother hung himself. It distroyed my family. It's a phone call you never want to get. The pain in my mother's face at the funeral was unreal. She died that day. Life is very hard. But you have to fight everyday. No body said it was going to be easy. You have to fight.
Men cannot ask for help like women do. The social stereotypes say so and it's extremely hard to escape this. For many men, things might look great on the outside, but the feelings of uselessness and despair dominate within.
Sing HU to open your heart to love yourself and all others unconditionally. Learn how to sing HU, do a search.
O Allah SWT keep me alive if keeping me alive is better for me and return me to you if returning me is better for me ameen
This was truly hunting and sad.
Nevertheless, I still feel I don't have the 'ticket to admission' to mainstream society.
It’s only in matriarchal societies. Look at the suicide gender gap by country and it becomes very, very apparent that this is only due to matriarchy and misandry, and a society that caters to women at the expense of men.
Exactly
Harden up don't cry be a man if you get hurt walk it off! If you cry you get a beating this is what we men are taught.
This can't be true. Men have the Patriarchy working for them.
Funny part is that they are still telling men how they should be
The true problem is that men face an extreme amount of pressure in comparison to women. And I’m not saying women face the same pressure. Based on the graph in the beginning I think it’s largely a system issue. Women are talked about more because women attempt it more. Whereas men complete it successfully more than women. Men are told to man up and women are not. This creates an even further sense of hopelessness and pressure for men. Society has been taking more time fixing women suicide and spent way less time and demonizing men suicide
Is female suicide talked about? I only ever hear about male suicide these days.
With all due respect, from entertainment, from primary through university, men are constantly vilified and blamed for anything negative feeling or outcome a woman has in her life and women, in countless forums, applaud the hurt and pain men endure like it was a punchline. This talk means nothing not only because it is delivered by a member of society that does this laughing, I.e. a woman but it is impossible for generations of people to have empathy for people whom they have been taught to ridicule since childhood.
Don't live in the dark, join a men's health group - many are free - guys are there to listen and appreciate. Nevermind if your current social support is absolutely not helping or digging you deeper in the hole - reach out - remote or in person, the meetups do exist and do care. Spark the change, don't settle with the toxic people...places...things... substances... . If it's making you suicidal... it's a dangerous situation that's absolutely not helping to remain settled in.
Hmm this thing started from 1985 today is same
It is too late for us im already planning and actually feel bloody good about it not good a calmness for first time in my entire life has come over me. Maybe in few hundred years once population has hit its lowest as predicted world population will be 5% male, 95% female when it’s hit that in next few decades which it is, then something will change and turn but too late for us, for generations of men aged 30-50.
I love the obligatory applause and the pauses and sighs communicating feigned emotional responses. We know women DO NOT CARE. Men must care for themselves, alone, without female sighing.
*Male suicide rates skyrocket; women most affected*
Wait….. This was about “men committing suicide” right?….. She obviously cares enough about “the issue” as much as she prepared for this lecture…. Honestly, I expected more. I have no idea why. Haha.
Thing that stops me is GOD! People need to find their calling. Whatever it is.
the god that allows all the misery in the world, that one?
Pathetic
How many programs are there for women? How many safety nets and empathy by the boatloads. Men? We get a lecture about our responsibility to work and taking time off for mental health isn't accepted in many professions, and many loved ones just won't be able to take it as serious because society says middle and lower class men are worker bees and no programs are there, government help will be denied because if you look like you can work full time you should be or you're doing something wrong. Empathy for men is sorely needed, failure is ok, everyone can be helped, they just need the places to go. They need to be told it's ok to work on yourself in a program in a nice live in hospital, for a month or two if needed, and not be afraid of losing everything they have, apartment or house, job, all your bills. Immediate temporary welfare so a person on the edge of sanity is the only respectable action that should be used for all people, we all deserve the best of friends who we just haven't met yet.
Sounds like karliah from skyrim
Year no more new news society does not care
Yo, the shadow of her nose makes it look like she has a toothbrush mustache.
did she say BME community? body modification ezine?
Let's be honest, no one cares about men at least not today. This video might be relevant in 11 years.
Why is this WOMAN talking about MALE suicides?
It would be like me tell you about The Third Trimester and What to expect
There's Nothing Wrong With Opting Out of This Cruel World. This is Just
More grandstanding to say get a load of Me ??? P.S. I wonder if she
couldn't have found a tighter pair if pants ???
I'am sick of woman talking about men's issues and being so passive-agressive about men's.. this is sick af
Wahhhhh
Big whoop.... 🙄
How dare you speak of this! You’re not a male and you obviously haven’t committed suicide. I wish women would stop meddling in men’s businesses.
She's been working in this field for nearly 25 years. Women are condemned for not caring and are now condemned for caring. What do you want exactly?
@@dumfriesspearhead7398 Oh wow, are you for real?
@@dumfriesspearhead7398 if you, by any chance were counter trolling, you got me good sir.
All the depressives ` comments on here..and they prob don't realise they are (lol)
Domdeone1 lol?! Are you nuts?
:/ not good presentation 0/10
Men go MGTOW, PROBLEM SOLVED.
Nobody cares. Go tackle a real issue for a change.
Disliked. 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎
Why do you not care about men's well being?