I never knew there was a word for it. I had an extremely challenging childhood, my father suicided, my mother was diagnosed as a psychopath, I was deemed an abused and neglected child. I see this as the building blocks for my vocation. After therapy I became an mental health worker but not a clinician, I used peoples gifts, talents and walked beside them. My daughter died at 27 of ovarian cancer and suddenly I found people attracted to me who were struggling with grief. I am retired now, medically after a fall but I discovered my late daughters art supplies and now I am an artist. So this is called Amor Fati. Thank you
Karen - I just read your post. You spoke beautifully of your life challenges. I have had a similar journey. Also, my only daughter died at 34 of an od someone gave her on purpose. I am naturally creative & have spent the last 2 1/2 yrs keeping busy renovating 2 houses. Currently am reading the books of the stoics which are helping to keep me sane. Good luck on your continued journey.
As a mother of an autistic child, I learned how to use this life changing experience not only to accept the challenge but to use it to learn more about disability and educate others about it🌻
Having the privilege of being a special needs parent as well, I acknowledge you and the journey that you have chosen, and will continue to choose over and over again. Acceptance, being present, actively choosing life, is a gift you give yourself and others, especially your children.
Please do. As a disabled man, that was physically and emotionally abused by my mother and father. Abandonment and lack of love, added to the already struggling aspects we suffer in society and ourselves. You, as mother’s, have the power and place, to champion that kids life. Don’t do them wrong. Because that karma will come back to you someday. You are the conduit of the universe for them.
I’m doing exactly the same. My partner struggles with it, she’s says how can you be so calm when things go wrong, I say things don’t go wrong, things just happen, if we are in the car and we get stopped at the traffic lights I’ll say, look we were chosen, the lights picked us out, I have lots of examples like that, people ask me why I’m always happy and positive, Just as you say “Okay” I say Oh Well.
I have this affair with my mother who is always worried and overconcerned about everything. She is even accusing me of not caring about anything at all. But why should I be worried about stuff I had and couldn't even have control over, like for example last time there was an 8-year old brutally murdered somewhere in the country. My mother of course is stressed over that for days already, but I'm not, because it is how this world looks like; there are scumbags who will do horrible stuff even to children and given all circumstances I couldn't do anything to prevent the death of that child, so I have to accept the things the way they are. But of course, I am accused of being some kind of emotionless scumbag, sociopath etc. Some people just won't understand.
I’m dealing with an autoimmune disease that has no cure and very few treatments. I’ve been struggling with the idea of my own body “fighting” me. But this disease is killing me. So I am working on keeping my mind, body, and spirit at peace with one another. I don’t want a war. Thank you, this is the right message at the right time. 🙏
@@Wannabe1979 I had a boyfriend who followed that method - he swore by it. Honestly, I tried! Maybe it’s something about being from Alaska, but I can only do what we referred to as the “polar bear plunge” if there’s a sauna nearby. In that case, oh yeahhhhhhhh!! Nothing better.
The challenge is to love your life when it does not go according to your plan. My fate often seems out of alignment with my plan. To bring the two into harmony, first I must find the wisdom to see which things are fated and which things are not. And then I must only accept the wisdom in believing that how I respond to things is a thing not fated.
Even things and/or another person's words and actions that hurt you? Yes. Is it uncomfortable? Absolutely. Things you can't control are meant to be------the Serenity prayer. It's unpleasant when other people hurt, or try to hurt you, but it's a test from the universe. No one has been more persecuted than President Donald Trump and he is the most beloved person on the planet. He loves his country, my country, your country, OUR country. In fact, he's my hero for "how much a human being can take" ----------If HE can still be positive after what he's been through, then so can I, and so can you. It's a good thing to remember that no matter what You and I are going through, or have or will go through, will never be as bad as what President Trump has gone through and still he's positive about our country and the people. Does President Trump practice stocisim? It's possible.
The presumption is that where we are now is a good place. I started with intense emotional abuse. Now I am 50. I live in abject poverty on my own with very little family and friends. I am not abused any more because I worked hard to overcome the ways that I was taught to be. I live in a caravan on a farm. The farm is not mine but it is beautiful and peaceful. I live with my cat and my dog. I have started an online tutoring business and it has been successful so far. It's not much. I don't know if I'd be happy to have suffered so much, but I have to say I do love working for myself, and I do experience peace and joy and even elation on a daily basis from very small things. Is that what you mean by you wouldn't be the person you are today. It seems such a tiny achievement. :)
I am sorry that you have been through so much. It sounds like you’re not only surviving, you are learning how to thrive. You are part of a small percentage of people who have not only recognized their situation but had the courage to escape from it and to learn its lessons. Good luck to you on your journey and I wish you peace and happiness.
I don't know where to start but I can say I was terribly depressed 2-3 years ago. I was overweight and hopeless, I was constantly angry. I saw your posts one day and I was curious about what you had to say. Thanks to great Stoics from the past and your efforts, I'm getting better at discipline and controlling my emotions. I'm an amateur powerlifting athlete now and I remember what Marcus Aurelius said about waking up in the morning everyday. Thank you Ryan!
Growing up with no parents, I finished graduate school. Divorced and as a single mother of twin boys, now they both in the pHD programs going to be some great scientists… my life has always seemed like tragedy in one side but glory in other side because I m still surviving fine
Yes I’m the Same ! My children are thriving but my life’s been very hard & struggle for me🙏I chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo 4 Protection & to Shift Karma & attract Miracles & be able to Have Fortune
Yes. 💞. My high school coach would say, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. And I took that and kept going! Still going, living in peace and success.
It’s been a little over a month since I’ve been reading works from the Stoics, listing to Ryan’s vids, writing in his journal, and I can say I’m the happiest I’ve been probably since I was an innocent child. If you have not read Meditations, pick up two copies. One to read and take notes in, and the other to pass along to someone.
@@AlbPerNil Same here. I have taken three philosophy classes in my life and I never caught onto what was going on in those classes. My last philosophy class was a year ago and I could not stand it. Here I am today reading nothing but philosophy loving it and understanding it.
I came upon stoicism last December, (December 2021) after my fiance left and I found out she had been having an affair. All of the emotional and mental turmoil she put me through was becoming too much. Then I heard his "12 stoic principles" video, and it immediately changed my perception. I was hooked when he said "epictetus said that it's not events that disturb us, it's our judgement about things" which was the second principle in that video.
I found you at the right time. Not had it easy as a single oarent escaping DV, homeless, became disabled after an accident, met a great man..who has cancer and lost mum last month. But....I still have gratitude. Everyone is going through some sort of struggle. Just be kind.
I cannot think of a better example of this than columnist/commentator Charles Krauthammer, who was a tall, athletic, great looking college kid planning on going to medical school when he dove into a pool, broke his neck and ended up paralyzed from the chest down. He so accepted what had happened to him that mental health counselors told him he was "in denial," but he created a life that was on every level hugely successful. What an inspiration.
I grew up in an abusive father and mother. Joined the Airforce as a medic. Dealt with trauma patients and suicidal teammates! I had PTSD suffered panic and anxiety but found your book heard the amorefati and faith and playing the hand you were dealt with. It made me have a peace of mind and meditation and living my life like the stoics! Thank you Ryan!!
Take aways: -Acceptance of the things that happen to us is the first step in being able to respond to them, to turn them into something. -Some things are out of our control, we can't change them, no matter of whining is going to affect them. But we can control how we respond. -Enjoy the absurdity of what happens, it prevents you to getting bored. -Welcome things the way they happen. Accept things and get to work using it. -Amor Fati = Love of faith = Loving everything that happens to you, not fighting against it, and finding the good in it. -You've been through things like this before. It prevents you to getting bored. -Amor Fati is not natural to us. In case of adversity, you will first ask yourself "Why me?". But that is life, that is what it is. To be angry about that means to not love life itself.
The acceptance of life circumstances I learned from my grandparents-hard life, wars (ww1 and ww2 ) hunger and they were still content .calm .disciplined with common sense and knowledge to resolve everyday hardships.Never ever heard from them negative word about Life ...when you are in hell keep walking.
My friend’s husband just died suddenly- on Valentine’s Day. I had to hold her as he was brought out. Last night she said it was tough when her parents passed, they were not with her when it happened, and loosing her husband and best friend was of course, very different. But she said she got through that. In a while, she’ll be okay. We’re trying to be strong for each other. Her birthday is in two weeks, too! I’ve made sure we’re going away. She found a hotel with ugly rooms. I told her it’s just for one night. What I didn’t tell her was, I went ahead and chose that, so we can laugh at how ugly they are - Just for the laughs! Amor Fati!
As I grew older I became aware that no matter the story there was someone else that had an even worse story. Hearing stories of people with these “worse stories” who overcame and even excelled helps me to realize I too can overcome. I think a lot of what keeps certain people down is because their focus is inward. Accepting what has happened and deciding it’s not enough to keep you down is the beginning of a new chapter in life. I like to think of acceptance in the context of playing cards. Sometimes you are dealt a bad hand, no one immediately quits the game. Instead we accept the cards and do our best to win that hand. We need to do the same with life events.
Many need to know this. A known podcast in the US taught me how the rich seek the ideas of FinanciaI ConsuItants to help earn success. That’s the secret the rich don’t teach you. I took this step and my finance breathes so good now 🤑
To acquire success, you need the help of a FinanciaI consuItant. I engage in a variety of lnvestments with the ideas of my consuItant and have acquired great returns so far. (the amount is confidential).
Opportunity is a scarce commodity. I will partake in this; there’s no limit to what you can achieve in life (including success) if you put your mind to it. Luckily I stumble into this.
Making the most of an unfortunate situation and *loving* an unfortunate situation are two different things. And I think it’s ok not to “love” adversity, as long as you can accept it and deal with it.
I have had "Amor Fati" tattooed on my back since 2008. The first words to be permanently written on my body, and my second ever tattoo at 18 yrs old. I first came to know this idea through Nietzsche, as a (drop-out) Philosophy major in college. Something about the concept of "Amor Fati" spoke to something deep inside of me, and I thought it was the most beautiful way to view one's life. I love having a permanent reminder to help keep this in the forefront of my mind. Years later, when I was introduced to Stoicism by my older brother, I knew I would connect with this philosophy as soon as I saw that beautiful phrase once more.
I think the most difficult aspects of life is to accept the bad consequences of our bad decisions. Obviously, one has no accept those situations that we cannot control; but to get over and accept the losses due to bad decisions is not as easy. However, the survival of the fittest in nature teaches that one has to be strong and move on with the living.
Very important observation. If we don’t accept the consequences of our own bad decisions, we blame others which is major denial that will hold you back from success. My son is living that life and continues to fail.
@@cynthiacole6140 I pray your son is set free from this & grows out of it with a learning experience to freedom. Book of Proverbs & Psalms may help him navigate out of it
"Survival of the fittest" is an often misused and misunderstood phrase. "Fit" in nature doesn't mean the strongest survive. It means an individual has successfully procreated and produced viable offspring. E.g. a guy with a flabby dad bod who has a brood of healthy kids is more "fit" than a bodybuilder who has no children, because the bodybuilder is not propagating the species.
@@shimmeringchimps3842 🤣🤣🤣🤣 obviously you don't understand its meaning. The survival of the fittest or strongest doesn't mean necessarily "physical strength or physical fitness " but rather having the strongest abilities to adapt, overcome, and survive.
As a Buddhist, this is very reminiscent of the teachings. So many people misunderstand the concept of desire. Don’t desire life to be different than it is to a point that it causes you suffering. Amor Fati. Annica. Great video.
I’m in the middle of losing the love of my life. This video showed up at the strangest and best time. I’m an avid reader of Epictetus and fell in love with stoicism months ago. Amor Fati is a great discovery that I will now be learning about in order to get through the hardest time of my life. Thank you Ryan, thank you
Yesterday we found out my husband has lung cancer. He's only 57, the love of my life. I totally depend on him, financially because I'm a stay at home mom. I'm not loving this situation at all, nor I feel I can accept it. I'm scared of so many things...
I like the idea that you don’t have to necessarily love the failure ,just accepting it it’s enough So powerful Not all these extra positive stuff as “Oh I love my disease…”
Interesting fact i've seen modern "acceptance" people but what they do instead is accept the bad stuff and compulsively rush towards shallow success to then accept. Acceptance starts in Parking Mode, feeling comfortable with life AS IS. Fascinating video. Growth happens from gratitude in stillneas, never from insatisfaction in motion.
Your videos get me through the day. I am trying to conquer some bad behaviors, and change is sometimes hard. My inner voice wants to cave to defeat but then I watch a video and I can usually shed more light on the subject. Ultimately watching your videos has been very helpful for me.
Ive been having a seriously rough night and past few months but this has honestly given me a bit of solace, hope and faith. Thank you Ryan, i need to relisten to your books again..
Was on a fitness streak. Loosing weight, gaining muscle, everything was going great... and then I injured my left shoulder! I can’t work out, ride my bicycle for 3 weeks. At first I was mad, Thinking of going back to my old ways of eating crap, and just giving up on everything I have accomplished. Watched this video and it changed everything!!! Thank you!!!
Same- I injured my knee weightlifting - got depressed and then just took it on the chin- dedicated to more self awareness of my body- healing slowly but surely ❤❤❤
I have a tendency to have a victim mentality about a rare medical condition that I have that destroyed my career and has put me behind all my peers in life. I needed to hear this more than ever. I need to accept and make the best of my life.
Amor Fati: Good reminder. It seems we create idealistis but unachievable fantasies then cloak things in compassion. Then we wonder why we fail. Or refuse to acceptable failure, then move on to success.
Everything happens for a reason. I came across this today because I needed to hear it. 2 weeks ago I literally had a serious wake up call...an TIA stroke in the middle of the night. At the end of the interview the gentlemen describes his stroke and how he has dealt with it. Thank you for having Impact Ryan. Keep on keeping on...
Not everything happens for a reason. That's a myth. That is justification thinking. Things happen. Period. It's how you respond to them that matters. It's all that matters.
This applies to an individual's life and it applies to humanity as a collective. We will need to practice "amor fati" in terms of humanity's fate in the next few years in order to make sense of what is coming.
I’ve just recently began my journey on the Stoics and what I’ve learned so far was already being implemented in my life to a degree. Im grateful to have found this school of thought, I’ve had a rough year or two, and I never knew I was (in some form) embracing Amor Fati. Thank you for the content, I’ll be coming back at-least once a week. ❤
The Stoic ideas have helped me so much in my life. I realized that sometimes, the thing I dreaded the most turned out to be great experiences. So I realized there is no poit to dreading anything.
I am forever a work in progress however I have come to the overall knowledge that I am literally here to experience and that's all. Good, bad, indifferent, it is all about the experiences we have and that's the beautiful simple truth of this existence. We only take knowledge with us when we die. Nothing else. Experience breeds knowledge and growth. Free will comes in with the choice of whether we grow above or grow backwards. Either way it is growth.
The comments are as interesting as the video! Thank you for sharing from Germany from a natural stoic, who wouldn’t have survived without this 'talents'. Love your books, too! Love, Monika❣
Having two little girls in two years who both have a chromosome triplication has turned everything I used to believe on it’s head. I literally lost my belief in good. Absurdity is right!! I can’t change what happened, but I need to work my entire life to accept it. Tough stuff that I know will take the rest of my life to work on.
@@77Tadams and lonely. Thanks for taking the time to respond. I’ve noticed in myself and other special needs mamas ( with profoundly disabled kids) that we often feel so invisible, so “other.”
@@CAGChannel1 so sorry. I don’t have kids. Sometimes that is lonely too. Let me tell you a secret though. People in general are lonely. This life can be hard to manage. I had a therapist tell me that most people are unhappy. It can be rather a dense world. Hang in there.
Ancient wise words and no-one ever taught me this when I was younger. But I have these words now to implement on myself and to pass on to my family and friends. Thank you.
I argued with a friend, presented my many reasons for why we should work in such a direction, but his reply was that this is the way he wanted. I said but about what I want? He smiled and I lost it. That’s what brought me to stoicism. It may not sound like much compared to comments below, but it shook me. I’ve learned a lot from stoicism but those same lessons appear in different forms at any moment and you need to be ready for them. Take a breath, analyse what you see and accept that this is the situation you find yourself in. In this acceptance there’s a letting go of what you think you want, which can show a better path. Sometimes this path seems to build its self before you because you’ve let go. I start the day with a daily stoic to prepare my mind for when the day presents a challenge.
My husband was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis 3 years ago at 64, we accepted but we were also in denial. This year we are seeing some noticeable changes and I suffered what I call a breakdown but my therapist calls grieving. I didn’t know you could grieve for a life that has not yet passed on, but there it is. We are learning to accept what is but that is a very bumpy road with many u-turns, however when we are on the straight path of Amor Fati life is very good. We persevere and constantly accept this as well as all the positive things we can think of on a daily basis. Thank you for sharing how you are now after the loss of your wife, you have inspired me💕
Came back to take another look. A lot has happened in these two weeks. #1 - Ryan tops my morning list of positives, #2 - It's been easier to accept things I can't change, not comfortable, just easier. One of the main reasons one person hates another is jealousy, which is on them and not you. There are a lot of shallow, insecure people who will try anything in their power to bring a happy, positive person to an end. Well, they can try! We will always "smile, take the blows, and do it OUR way." I had to learn stoicism early in life, my first hater was (and still is) my younger sister.
This is the most difficult part of stoicism for me to grasp and internalize. I think I have a fear that if I accept anything but the result that I want, I am giving up what little influence I have over the outcome from wanting it so bad. It’s a consequence of believing that I have somewhat control over my fate with my words, actions, and thoughts, which appears to be contrary to what the ancients believed. I’m wrestling with how to accept fate while maintaining the little influence I believe I have on it as a result of my strong desires and consequent actions.
It's a cliche, but so because it's true: "the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". I left off the "god grant me" from this quote attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr, Lutheran theologian (1892-1971), because I believe it can come from within. It's not all or nothing. You know that you cannot change that it is raining, but you can decide to carry an umbrella.
Have goals and strive towards greatness - internalize and visual this. Do not be shaken or lose your resolve when an unforeseen event occurs which brings you misfortune. This is stoicism.
Going through depression and loneliness, thank you for this video! I also just started reading The Daily Stoic and it's insights already started helping me shift my mindset. Thank you for bringing Stoicism into my life. I will try practicing amor fati today and hopefully throughout my life!
dude, this is so tough to internalize. I realize the logic and wisdom of this philosophy and approach to things happening in life but I am struggling to really internalize this, to really believe that I'm happy that things didn't turn out the way that I wanted. I worked hard to accomplish the things that I'm trying to accomplish so when they don't turn out the way that I wanted them to, it feels like my efforts are wasted and that I've failed. It's like going out to hunt and coming home with nothing to put in the pot. Isn't that a fail? It's like planting a field full of corn and coming home with no corn in harvest season. Isn't that a fail? This is where I struggle. Edison's plant burned down but he got a loan from Ford, so he was ok. Did he know somewhere in the back of his mind when this was happening that he had something to fall back on? What if he didn't have that loan to fall back on? Would he really have felt that way?
Here’s the question, on the hunt did you do your best? In the planting, growing, and harvesting did you do everything that you could? As cliché as it sounds, so long as you did your best, it’s not a fail. If you know you left everything on the battle field and did everything that is within your power, it’s not a fail. You optimized everything within your control and that’s the only thing you can do.
Dan, I know this is a silly comparison.. but think of the end of that Walter Mitty movie. Sometimes he doesn't take the picture. Sometimes the product or reward can compromise the quality of experience. (Sparsely more than a journey/destination commentary but one that can be unpacked). A quote from Masanobu Fukuoka a natural farmer: "When it is understood that one loses joy and happiness in the attempt to possess them, the essence of natural farming will be realized. The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings." [All this coming from a recovering addict that lived in a tent and shot up goofballs for years. Today the universe is my dance partner!]
@@andrewjamesstewart139 Again, I understand the essence of a statement like that and maybe in reality, it's at least partly true. Yes, the mad rush to acquire things can definitely diminish the joy of those things because the buildup can never usually compare to the actual thing. We overbuild the significance of something in our mind at times or maybe for some people, they usually/mostly do that. However, I think my examples are more raw, like hey, I planted this field and when it came time for harvest I got little to nothing. Hey, I went out hunting and I came back with nothing. My stomach being empty and growling tells me I failed, whether I want to put a different picture on the situation or not. This is the discrepancy for me, to differentiate between what I absolutely needed to happen and what is a nice to have. Yes, if it's a nice to have and it doesn't happen, I chalk it up as a learning experience, hey I can do this better next time to more positively affect the outcome. Hey, not having this thing taught me that I didn't actually need it. But its when I actually need something, I need this to happen and it doesn't, how do I internalize that? I'm still hungry. I've still got no crops.
@@dANbRnL I don't think objective failure or it's recognition interferes with the stoic idea discussed, though. The worst examples are the hardest examples to take away from. Getting caught up doesn't get you fed. Screaming for your supper doesn't get you fed. Do a logistical inventory of the failure, learn how to get better fed. Oh well.
You make a valid point. However I think it's best to focus on the journey and not necessarily the outcome. If we succeed at everything we do. How will we ever become any greater than we are today?
This video shifted how I view myself to a more positive place. I was called "jaded" once by someone close to me and I accepted that description without question. However, I couldn't figure out why I was so much more happy, why I was so much more optimistic than the stereotype of a jaded person. This video answered that question for me. I am just a person who naturally practices the concept of "amor fati" in my daily life without ever knowing this attitude had a name given to it. It isn't that I'm jaded, that nothing is new to me because I've seen it before. It is because I have seen situations before that I can appreciate something new every time. Tough situations are a beautiful challenge to practice gratitude, to practice joy, to CHOOSE gratitude and joy instead of resentment. Some tragedies should never come into existence, like abuse and parental neglect, but how each person chooses to come out of those horrendous situations is where beauty, courage, and strength can blossom or where death will fester. This is an important concept and I thank you for sharing it.
We lost our two Girls, shortly before they where about 2 be born. Hardest Time of my Life.... but i accepted it and can move forward, reading about Stoicism helped me along this way a lot.
I totally agree with your argument. amor fati. accept everything that happened to your life, that's beyond our control, its our mind conditioning.otherwise we can't move on
From seeing you back in the day, on Creative Live, to later seeing you and Gary Vaynerchuk and then now taking in your Stoic lessons; Bro, you’ve made an impact in my life. We’ve never met, yet I feel as if I’ve known you for years. Thank you Ryan for all you do. The ripple effect from your videos is more immense than you know. Have battled PTSD many years and recently recovering from a massive heart attack. God, YOU and GaryVee have been my motivation & inspiration.
My vintage Jaguar Mark 4 caught fire in the middle of Stanly Park in Vancouver. After several futile attempts to extinguish the fire, I stood back and watched it burn with a smile. Strangers approached me asking why I was smiling. I answered that I was happy to know I was the last person to drive that beautiful car.
I love your work Ryan! I got Amor Fati tattooed on my ribs over in Thailand while on a trip around the world after my relationship with my fiancé fell apart. Wouldn’t have ever known about the idea of Amor Fati if it wasn’t for you! 👍
I truely love my fate. i love everything that's happening in my life. I love every moment of my life. I suffered from anxiety before. my heart rate would usually go up and make me uncomfortable. The day I started maintaining a neutral expression. A magic happened. heart rate slowed down immediately. Thank you Ryan.
Happiness doesn’t depend on outside circumstances and one’s own personal relationships or your posessions. Happiness is inside your mind its in your state of mind so in order you can achieve it one must immerse himself n focus on the today and now our duties in our daily life accept it Amor Fati Love your fate and them have Compassion to your heart and Contentment in our Mind! Gautama Buddha
Taking control of your thoughts and maintaining positivity over time is not natural but is the key to more mental balance, acceptance and yes even happiness...loving these videos Ryan..
This video came at right time when I was about to look up how we endure adversity. Recently, I was shocked by some news that will be affecting me for this entire year, and I feel anxious on a daily basis about whether I'm going to be able to endure it or not. Thank you for the great video, Ryan! ❤️
I love life but the anger I feel about the abuse of trust and cruelty that nearly killed me and left me almost completely bereft is the only reason I am energised to fight to save other potential victims from a similar fate, even though I have little chance of success. Knowing that anyone else ever suffered so needlessly while the transgressor enjoys continued exalted status in the community seems beyond the stoicism that I will need to get through the battles ahead, or swallow the injustice if, or when, I fail.
I once read something that sound like this "The happiest life if one where even if you have to live it over and over again, you would not change a thing." It was much later when I realized there is no such life, no matter how luxurious or pleasurable, it will become an endless nightmare soon enough. It it only through sheer strength of mind and will that you can accept any life given to you and still achieve happiness.
No phrase or concept has changed my life more than Amor Fati. I had heard the phrase Memento Mori a lot. It seemed to be the main stoic mantra, and Amor Fati seemed like more of a back burner phrase-at least that was the impression that I got, anyway. But because I have a neurotic personality, Amor Fati resonated with me A LOT more once I fully understood its meaning. This simple phrase and concept helped me to lose 60 pounds. It helped me advance my career and move me closer to starting my own business. It gave me confidence to put myself out there and build connections. It is the most powerful concept I’ve ever been exposed to. If I were to ever tattoo a phrase on my body so that I would remember to always live by it, it would be Amor Fati.
One of my favourite movies is The Hours (starring Nicole Kidman, Meryl Streep and Julianne Moore). In the final scene (which happens to be my favourite scene), Virginia Woolf (Kidman) had this beautiful monologue: Dear Leonard, To look life in the face, always to look life in the face. And to know it for what it is. At last to know it, to love it for what it is. And then, to put it away. Even though in the movie, the monologue is spoken in a scene where she would drown herself, I now understand why that scene deeply impacts me, in a positive way (the scene used to depress me out) I now see that as an example of Amor Fati. Thank you Ryan for bringing this ancient concept to my awareness. p.s: currently reading The Obstacle is the Way, and I'm loving it
Ryan beautiful, staying in the moment , grateful I found your space. So thank you for all you put out to the world . Keep providing people with hope and acceptance .
I've been following you for well over a year as I try to recover from the loss of my wife in early 2020. I really would like to see how others who have lost spouses have succeeded in some form of recovery through stoicism. It seems to be a topic that briefly gets touched on, but I'm not aware of anything in your books or videos where you have interviewed someone trying to overcome a loss like this. Amor fati is very useful for some of life's events but not for a lost wife/husband. I wish somewhere you would address this in detail. I know there are many, many more people like me that would like to hear your thoughts on this. I love your videos and your books and it has no doubt had a great impact on me. Thank you for that.
Michael, I know this isn’t what you were asking for, but I am happy to share my experience with you of losing my husband at 45 a year and a half ago. I think I would say that I have mostly used a stoic perspective in dealing with the loss. Let me know if you’d like to hear it. It isn’t too long I don’t think.
Just got diagnosed with crones disease today, needed this. Thank you. Also bought the Gregory Hayes version of meditations because of you, that’s been amazing as well.
Hey Ryan, I have been watching your videos and learning from you since a year and a lot has changed in my life, there have been many ups and downs for sure which makes me realise that life is no less than a roller coaster ride, it is filled with surprises. This message in particular is very helpful to me and lifted some huge weight of societal expectations and what other people think of me, I am starting to accept myself and this message really makes me strong. Thank you for your great work, Lots of love. Amor Fati for Life!
Remember what Heraclitus said, "The only constant in life is change." Once you master this, you can let go of your need to control things and people you can't and you'll find a burden lifted from your heart. It took me years to really get this but it can be done.
I sure needed to hear this. I have had so much bad happen and now another big blow, bankruptcy at 60. I have to accept it, and grow in this. I actually have bern through worse and am where I am for those reasons
I never knew there was a word for it. I had an extremely challenging childhood, my father suicided, my mother was diagnosed as a psychopath, I was deemed an abused and neglected child. I see this as the building blocks for my vocation. After therapy I became an mental health worker but not a clinician, I used peoples gifts, talents and walked beside them. My daughter died at 27 of ovarian cancer and suddenly I found people attracted to me who were struggling with grief. I am retired now, medically after a fall but I discovered my late daughters art supplies and now I am an artist. So this is called Amor Fati. Thank you
♥️🙏
Karen - I just read your post. You spoke beautifully of your life challenges. I have had a similar journey. Also, my only daughter died at 34 of an od someone gave her on purpose. I am naturally creative & have spent the last 2 1/2 yrs keeping busy renovating 2 houses. Currently am reading the books of the stoics which are helping to keep me sane. Good luck on your continued journey.
🙏
This comment is bullshit
❤❤❤
Many years ago, I heard Amor Fati put this way. "If someday, you will look back on this and laugh, you may as well skip ahead and laugh about it now."
How powerful
I love that! Thanks for sharing...I'm going to steal it 🙂
"We can control how we respond". I needed that.
As a mother of an autistic child, I learned how to use this life changing experience not only to accept the challenge but to use it to learn more about disability and educate others about it🌻
How did you do it? My son is 19 and I still struggle with guilt, resentment, abs envy.
🙏thank you for sharing
Having the privilege of being a special needs parent as well, I acknowledge you and the journey that you have chosen, and will continue to choose over and over again. Acceptance, being present, actively choosing life, is a gift you give yourself and others, especially your children.
Please do. As a disabled man, that was physically and emotionally abused by my mother and father. Abandonment and lack of love, added to the already struggling aspects we suffer in society and ourselves. You, as mother’s, have the power and place, to champion that kids life. Don’t do them wrong. Because that karma will come back to you someday. You are the conduit of the universe for them.
Inspiring! Prayers ans good wishes...🌱
Thank you. My husband had a life changing fall last week and I’m watching this just before going to visit. It gives me strength.
What happened? You can share if you want.
Goodluck Abigail 💛
I hope things go well and that you are your husband can cope.
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Good luck to you and your husband
I am already learning to respond to negative things with "Okay.", "That's okay." This little practice gave me inner peace.
I’m doing exactly the same. My partner struggles with it, she’s says how can you be so calm when things go wrong, I say things don’t go wrong, things just happen, if we are in the car and we get stopped at the traffic lights I’ll say, look we were chosen, the lights picked us out, I have lots of examples like that, people ask me why I’m always happy and positive, Just as you say “Okay” I say Oh Well.
I have this affair with my mother who is always worried and overconcerned about everything. She is even accusing me of not caring about anything at all. But why should I be worried about stuff I had and couldn't even have control over, like for example last time there was an 8-year old brutally murdered somewhere in the country. My mother of course is stressed over that for days already, but I'm not, because it is how this world looks like; there are scumbags who will do horrible stuff even to children and given all circumstances I couldn't do anything to prevent the death of that child, so I have to accept the things the way they are. But of course, I am accused of being some kind of emotionless scumbag, sociopath etc. Some people just won't understand.
Joko willnik says "good"
I’m dealing with an autoimmune disease that has no cure and very few treatments. I’ve been struggling with the idea of my own body “fighting” me. But this disease is killing me. So I am working on keeping my mind, body, and spirit at peace with one another. I don’t want a war. Thank you, this is the right message at the right time. 🙏
Look into the carnivore diet. it hugely helped my autoimmune condition, reducing my symptoms
I found palnts, especially spinach, made my symptoms worse
Have lupu,nhl,still alive despite docs prediction healthier now than ever…used it to learn
@@Wannabe1979 I had a boyfriend who followed that method - he swore by it. Honestly, I tried! Maybe it’s something about being from Alaska, but I can only do what we referred to as the “polar bear plunge” if there’s a sauna nearby. In that case, oh yeahhhhhhhh!! Nothing better.
@@Wannabe1979 I need to try this. Thanks for sharing.
As Friedrich Nietzsche said: "Love your fate, which is in fact your life." 🔥🔥
Nietzsche can kiss my....
As Mr. Meeseeks said: Existence is Pain
th-cam.com/video/J_Ku1zt7fRg/w-d-xo.html
The challenge is to love your life when it does not go according to your plan. My fate often seems out of alignment with my plan. To bring the two into harmony, first I must find the wisdom to see which things are fated and which things are not. And then I must only accept the wisdom in believing that how I respond to things is a thing not fated.
Even things and/or another person's words and actions that hurt you? Yes.
Is it uncomfortable? Absolutely.
Things you can't control are meant to be------the Serenity prayer.
It's unpleasant when other people hurt, or try to hurt you, but it's a test from the universe. No one has been more persecuted than President Donald Trump and he is the most beloved person on the planet. He loves his country, my country, your country, OUR country. In fact, he's my hero for "how much a human being can take" ----------If HE can still be positive after what he's been through, then so can I, and so can you. It's a good thing to remember that no matter what You and I are going through, or have or will go through, will never be as bad as what President Trump has gone through and still he's positive about our country and the people.
Does President Trump practice stocisim? It's possible.
The presumption is that where we are now is a good place. I started with intense emotional abuse. Now I am 50. I live in abject poverty on my own with very little family and friends. I am not abused any more because I worked hard to overcome the ways that I was taught to be. I live in a caravan on a farm. The farm is not mine but it is beautiful and peaceful. I live with my cat and my dog. I have started an online tutoring business and it has been successful so far. It's not much. I don't know if I'd be happy to have suffered so much, but I have to say I do love working for myself, and I do experience peace and joy and even elation on a daily basis from very small things. Is that what you mean by you wouldn't be the person you are today. It seems such a tiny achievement. :)
But it's not. It's huge.🤗
Most of us don’t have a “Ford” friend offering us a million to start over again. Keep elevating!
You Are Really Someone Special. CONGRATULATIONS! Just Keep Doing what you're Doing. 💟
Keep on, keeping on..stay positive. Believe it or not I know how you feel. Keep in touch if you’d like a new friend. ✌️🕊☮️
I am sorry that you have been through so much. It sounds like you’re not only surviving, you are learning how to thrive. You are part of a small percentage of people who have not only recognized their situation but had the courage to escape from it and to learn its lessons. Good luck to you on your journey and I wish you peace and happiness.
"What you throw in front of a fire is fuel for the fire." - My favorite phrase from this video.
I don't know where to start but I can say I was terribly depressed 2-3 years ago. I was overweight and hopeless, I was constantly angry. I saw your posts one day and I was curious about what you had to say. Thanks to great Stoics from the past and your efforts, I'm getting better at discipline and controlling my emotions. I'm an amateur powerlifting athlete now and I remember what Marcus Aurelius said about waking up in the morning everyday. Thank you Ryan!
Congratulations👍👍👍
I am struggling to hold on and every day gets harder.i don't think I'm going to make it.
@@stanleyhape8427 I pray you are well ❤️🙏❤️
@@stanleyhape8427 I hope get better
You will make it always remember you have the whole universe with you to help you...
@@stanleyhape8427 you are gonna make it!
Growing up with no parents, I finished graduate school. Divorced and as a single mother of twin boys, now they both in the pHD programs going to be some great scientists… my life has always seemed like tragedy in one side but glory in other side because I m still surviving fine
Yes I’m the Same ! My children are thriving but my life’s been very hard & struggle for me🙏I chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo 4 Protection & to Shift Karma & attract Miracles & be able to Have Fortune
Ditto
💜
Yes!
Yes. 💞. My high school coach would say, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. And I took that and kept going! Still going, living in peace and success.
It’s been a little over a month since I’ve been reading works from the Stoics, listing to Ryan’s vids, writing in his journal, and I can say I’m the happiest I’ve been probably since I was an innocent child. If you have not read Meditations, pick up two copies. One to read and take notes in, and the other to pass along to someone.
I bought it and I can honestly my life and mindset / mental health has changed for all the better since I first read it in January.
@@AlbPerNil Same here. I have taken three philosophy classes in my life and I never caught onto what was going on in those classes. My last philosophy class was a year ago and I could not stand it. Here I am today reading nothing but philosophy loving it and understanding it.
Glad Ryan got you to ancient thoughts. Welcome to being a modern philosopher. Hoping we can be talked about so many years later.
I came upon stoicism last December, (December 2021) after my fiance left and I found out she had been having an affair. All of the emotional and mental turmoil she put me through was becoming too much. Then I heard his "12 stoic principles" video, and it immediately changed my perception. I was hooked when he said "epictetus said that it's not events that disturb us, it's our judgement about things" which was the second principle in that video.
How do you keep yourself motivated in writing journal? I am struggling to find time to do it...
"Once my house burned down, I see the moon more clearly" Love your channel. The Stoics were brilliant minds.
"The problem is not a problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem" - Jack Sparrow
So an abused or neglected child does not have a 'problem'? Its just their 'attitude'?
❤
I found you at the right time.
Not had it easy as a single oarent escaping DV, homeless, became disabled after an accident, met a great man..who has cancer and lost mum last month.
But....I still have gratitude. Everyone is going through some sort of struggle. Just be kind.
May all of your days shine brightly my friend, and your nights blessed with peace 🕊
My dad used to always say, "Things that you can't change are unchangeable" I always though it was a weird saying, but it does make sense.
I cannot think of a better example of this than columnist/commentator Charles Krauthammer, who was a tall, athletic, great looking college kid planning on going to medical school when he dove into a pool, broke his neck and ended up paralyzed from the chest down. He so accepted what had happened to him that mental health counselors told him he was "in denial," but he created a life that was on every level hugely successful. What an inspiration.
I grew up in an abusive father and mother. Joined the Airforce as a medic. Dealt with trauma patients and suicidal teammates! I had PTSD suffered panic and anxiety but found your book heard the amorefati and faith and playing the hand you were dealt with. It made me have a peace of mind and meditation and living my life like the stoics! Thank you Ryan!!
Take aways:
-Acceptance of the things that happen to us is the first step in being able to respond to them, to turn them into something.
-Some things are out of our control, we can't change them, no matter of whining is going to affect them. But we can control how we respond.
-Enjoy the absurdity of what happens, it prevents you to getting bored.
-Welcome things the way they happen. Accept things and get to work using it.
-Amor Fati = Love of faith = Loving everything that happens to you, not fighting against it, and finding the good in it.
-You've been through things like this before. It prevents you to getting bored.
-Amor Fati is not natural to us. In case of adversity, you will first ask yourself "Why me?". But that is life, that is what it is. To be angry about that means to not love life itself.
But still fighting tooth and nail to tear free from destiny
Amor fati = love of fate*
The acceptance of life circumstances I learned from my grandparents-hard life, wars (ww1 and ww2 ) hunger and they were still content .calm .disciplined with common sense and knowledge to resolve everyday hardships.Never ever heard from them negative word about Life ...when you are in hell keep walking.
My friend’s husband just died suddenly- on Valentine’s Day. I had to hold her as he was brought out. Last night she said it was tough when her parents passed, they were not with her when it happened, and loosing her husband and best friend was of course, very different. But she said she got through that. In a while, she’ll be okay.
We’re trying to be strong for each other. Her birthday is in two weeks, too! I’ve made sure we’re going away. She found a hotel with ugly rooms. I told her it’s just for one night. What I didn’t tell her was, I went ahead and chose that, so we can laugh at how ugly they are - Just for the laughs! Amor Fati!
As soon as I learned about amor fati, I got it tattooed on my chest. Constant reminder to accept whatever life throws at you
I got it tattooed on my wrist. Love your work brother!
As I grew older I became aware that no matter the story there was someone else that had an even worse story. Hearing stories of people with these “worse stories” who overcame and even excelled helps me to realize I too can overcome. I think a lot of what keeps certain people down is because their focus is inward. Accepting what has happened and deciding it’s not enough to keep you down is the beginning of a new chapter in life. I like to think of acceptance in the context of playing cards. Sometimes you are dealt a bad hand, no one immediately quits the game. Instead we accept the cards and do our best to win that hand. We need to do the same with life events.
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Opportunity is a scarce commodity. I will partake in this; there’s no limit to what you can achieve in life (including success) if you put your mind to it. Luckily I stumble into this.
Making the most of an unfortunate situation and *loving* an unfortunate situation are two different things. And I think it’s ok not to “love” adversity, as long as you can accept it and deal with it.
yes
I have had "Amor Fati" tattooed on my back since 2008. The first words to be permanently written on my body, and my second ever tattoo at 18 yrs old. I first came to know this idea through Nietzsche, as a (drop-out) Philosophy major in college. Something about the concept of "Amor Fati" spoke to something deep inside of me, and I thought it was the most beautiful way to view one's life. I love having a permanent reminder to help keep this in the forefront of my mind. Years later, when I was introduced to Stoicism by my older brother, I knew I would connect with this philosophy as soon as I saw that beautiful phrase once more.
I think the most difficult aspects of life is to accept the bad consequences of our bad decisions. Obviously, one has no accept those situations that we cannot control; but to get over and accept the losses due to bad decisions is not as easy. However, the survival of the fittest in nature teaches that one has to be strong and move on with the living.
Very important observation. If we don’t accept the consequences of our own bad decisions, we blame others which is major denial that will hold you back from success. My son is living that life and continues to fail.
@@cynthiacole6140 I pray your son is set free from this & grows out of it with a learning experience to freedom. Book of Proverbs & Psalms may help him navigate out of it
"Survival of the fittest" is an often misused and misunderstood phrase. "Fit" in nature doesn't mean the strongest survive. It means an individual has successfully procreated and produced viable offspring. E.g. a guy with a flabby dad bod who has a brood of healthy kids is more "fit" than a bodybuilder who has no children, because the bodybuilder is not propagating the species.
@@shimmeringchimps3842 🤣🤣🤣🤣 obviously you don't understand its meaning. The survival of the fittest or strongest doesn't mean necessarily "physical strength or physical fitness " but rather having the strongest abilities to adapt, overcome, and survive.
@@CARACAS1 my professor in Ireland would often say, in rather pompous tone, that adaptability is the sine qua non existence ☘🇮🇪☘
As a Buddhist, this is very reminiscent of the teachings. So many people misunderstand the concept of desire. Don’t desire life to be different than it is to a point that it causes you suffering.
Amor Fati. Annica.
Great video.
I’m in the middle of losing the love of my life. This video showed up at the strangest and best time.
I’m an avid reader of Epictetus and fell in love with stoicism months ago. Amor Fati is a great discovery that I will now be learning about in order to get through the hardest time of my life. Thank you Ryan, thank you
“Go get your Mother and all her friends...they will never see a fire like this again”
- Ryan that was great...your videos are changing my life
“Amor Fati”, the Love of Fate, is the internal practice of accepting the situation you find yourself in. You then Cowboy Up, and Soldier On.
Yesterday we found out my husband has lung cancer. He's only 57, the love of my life. I totally depend on him, financially because I'm a stay at home mom. I'm not loving this situation at all, nor I feel I can accept it. I'm scared of so many things...
But you are not your body or your feelings or your thoughts. Neither is he. You will survive
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I had bowel cancer and I thrived and survived. So will you and your husband.
hope you find the right treatment and your husband will recover soon
You can still develop your skill to earn.
You can always strengthen yourself.
Do what you can do.
Going through a rough time now...this video really gave me a new perspective on life's challenges.
Me 2 🙏⚘️
We got you. I'm wishing you (both) strength and peace. 💟
This guy is talented as hell, an indepth knowledge of this ancient philosophy with a modern outlook , well done Sir
I like the idea that you don’t have to necessarily love the failure ,just accepting it it’s enough
So powerful
Not all these extra positive stuff as “Oh I love my disease…”
Interesting fact i've seen modern "acceptance" people but what they do instead is accept the bad stuff and compulsively rush towards shallow success to then accept. Acceptance starts in Parking Mode, feeling comfortable with life AS IS. Fascinating video. Growth happens from gratitude in stillneas, never from insatisfaction in motion.
Your videos get me through the day. I am trying to conquer some bad behaviors, and change is sometimes hard. My inner voice wants to cave to defeat but then I watch a video and I can usually shed more light on the subject. Ultimately watching your videos has been very helpful for me.
Ive been having a seriously rough night and past few months but this has honestly given me a bit of solace, hope and faith. Thank you Ryan, i need to relisten to your books again..
Was on a fitness streak. Loosing weight, gaining muscle, everything was going great... and then I injured my left shoulder! I can’t work out, ride my bicycle for 3 weeks. At first I was mad, Thinking of going back to my old ways of eating crap, and just giving up on everything I have accomplished. Watched this video and it changed everything!!! Thank you!!!
we have the same issue we got this
Same- I injured my knee weightlifting - got depressed and then just took it on the chin- dedicated to more self awareness of my body- healing slowly but surely ❤❤❤
I have a tendency to have a victim mentality about a rare medical condition that I have that destroyed my career and has put me behind all my peers in life. I needed to hear this more than ever. I need to accept and make the best of my life.
"What doesn't kill us ...makes us stronger. "
Amor Fati: Good reminder.
It seems we create idealistis but unachievable fantasies then cloak things in compassion.
Then we wonder why we fail.
Or refuse to acceptable failure, then move on to success.
Everything happens for a reason. I came across this today because I needed to hear it. 2 weeks ago I literally had a serious wake up call...an TIA stroke in the middle of the night. At the end of the interview the gentlemen describes his stroke and how he has dealt with it. Thank you for having Impact Ryan. Keep on keeping on...
Not everything happens for a reason. That's a myth. That is justification thinking. Things happen. Period. It's how you respond to them that matters. It's all that matters.
This applies to an individual's life and it applies to humanity as a collective. We will need to practice "amor fati" in terms of humanity's fate in the next few years in order to make sense of what is coming.
I’ve just recently began my journey on the Stoics and what I’ve learned so far was already being implemented in my life to a degree. Im grateful to have found this school of thought, I’ve had a rough year or two, and I never knew I was (in some form) embracing Amor Fati. Thank you for the content, I’ll be coming back at-least once a week. ❤
The Stoic ideas have helped me so much in my life. I realized that sometimes, the thing I dreaded the most turned out to be great experiences. So I realized there is no poit to dreading anything.
Thank you! I share stoicism with my therapy clients now. It’s a big part of my practice
I went through a nasty divorce and just felt so horrible at the time, now I realise it was just a lesson I badly needed.
I'm not a Jocko Willink fanboy by any stretch, but his refrain of "GOOD" is something I absolutely fall back on as a simple stoic mantra.
I am forever a work in progress however I have come to the overall knowledge that I am literally here to experience and that's all. Good, bad, indifferent, it is all about the experiences we have and that's the beautiful simple truth of this existence. We only take knowledge with us when we die. Nothing else. Experience breeds knowledge and growth. Free will comes in with the choice of whether we grow above or grow backwards. Either way it is growth.
The comments are as interesting as the video! Thank you for sharing from Germany from a natural stoic, who wouldn’t have survived without this 'talents'. Love your books, too! Love, Monika❣
Having two little girls in two years who both have a chromosome triplication has turned everything I used to believe on it’s head. I literally lost my belief in good. Absurdity is right!! I can’t change what happened, but I need to work my entire life to accept it. Tough stuff that I know will take the rest of my life to work on.
Yikes. You have a long hard road. 😢
@@77Tadams and lonely. Thanks for taking the time to respond. I’ve noticed in myself and other special needs mamas ( with profoundly disabled kids) that we often feel so invisible, so “other.”
@@CAGChannel1 so sorry. I don’t have kids. Sometimes that is lonely too. Let me tell you a secret though. People in general are lonely. This life can be hard to manage. I had a therapist tell me that most people are unhappy. It can be rather a dense world. Hang in there.
Thank you and all Stoics, past and present. So so grateful!
Ancient wise words and no-one ever taught me this when I was younger. But I have these words now to implement on myself and to pass on to my family and friends. Thank you.
You can not change what happened "yesterday" you can only learn from it ,and make changes moving forward.❤
I argued with a friend, presented my many reasons for why we should work in such a direction, but his reply was that this is the way he wanted. I said but about what I want? He smiled and I lost it.
That’s what brought me to stoicism. It may not sound like much compared to comments below, but it shook me.
I’ve learned a lot from stoicism but those same lessons appear in different forms at any moment and you need to be ready for them. Take a breath, analyse what you see and accept that this is the situation you find yourself in. In this acceptance there’s a letting go of what you think you want, which can show a better path. Sometimes this path seems to build its self before you because you’ve let go.
I start the day with a daily stoic to prepare my mind for when the day presents a challenge.
My husband was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis 3 years ago at 64, we accepted but we were also in denial. This year we are seeing some noticeable changes and I suffered what I call a breakdown but my therapist calls grieving. I didn’t know you could grieve for a life that has not yet passed on, but there it is. We are learning to accept what is but that is a very bumpy road with many u-turns, however when we are on the straight path of Amor Fati life is very good. We persevere and constantly accept this as well as all the positive things we can think of on a daily basis. Thank you for sharing how you are now after the loss of your wife, you have inspired me💕
You were grieving the loss of your future together ,xxx
Came back to take another look. A lot has happened in these two weeks. #1 - Ryan tops my morning list of positives, #2 - It's been easier to accept things I can't change, not comfortable, just easier.
One of the main reasons one person hates another is jealousy, which is on them and not you. There are a lot of shallow, insecure people who will try anything in their power to bring a happy, positive person to an end. Well, they can try! We will always "smile, take the blows, and do it OUR way."
I had to learn stoicism early in life, my first hater was (and still is) my younger sister.
This is the most difficult part of stoicism for me to grasp and internalize.
I think I have a fear that if I accept anything but the result that I want, I am giving up what little influence I have over the outcome from wanting it so bad. It’s a consequence of believing that I have somewhat control over my fate with my words, actions, and thoughts, which appears to be contrary to what the ancients believed.
I’m wrestling with how to accept fate while maintaining the little influence I believe I have on it as a result of my strong desires and consequent actions.
It's a cliche, but so because it's true: "the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". I left off the "god grant me" from this quote attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr, Lutheran theologian (1892-1971), because I believe it can come from within. It's not all or nothing. You know that you cannot change that it is raining, but you can decide to carry an umbrella.
Have goals and strive towards greatness - internalize and visual this. Do not be shaken or lose your resolve when an unforeseen event occurs which brings you misfortune. This is stoicism.
Going through depression and loneliness, thank you for this video! I also just started reading The Daily Stoic and it's insights already started helping me shift my mindset. Thank you for bringing Stoicism into my life. I will try practicing amor fati today and hopefully throughout my life!
Stoicism and Bhagwad Gita show us the way of Life and how to live it.
Thankyou for sharing this message 🙏
dude, this is so tough to internalize. I realize the logic and wisdom of this philosophy and approach to things happening in life but I am struggling to really internalize this, to really believe that I'm happy that things didn't turn out the way that I wanted. I worked hard to accomplish the things that I'm trying to accomplish so when they don't turn out the way that I wanted them to, it feels like my efforts are wasted and that I've failed.
It's like going out to hunt and coming home with nothing to put in the pot. Isn't that a fail? It's like planting a field full of corn and coming home with no corn in harvest season. Isn't that a fail? This is where I struggle.
Edison's plant burned down but he got a loan from Ford, so he was ok. Did he know somewhere in the back of his mind when this was happening that he had something to fall back on? What if he didn't have that loan to fall back on? Would he really have felt that way?
Here’s the question, on the hunt did you do your best? In the planting, growing, and harvesting did you do everything that you could? As cliché as it sounds, so long as you did your best, it’s not a fail. If you know you left everything on the battle field and did everything that is within your power, it’s not a fail.
You optimized everything within your control and that’s the only thing you can do.
Dan, I know this is a silly comparison.. but think of the end of that Walter Mitty movie. Sometimes he doesn't take the picture. Sometimes the product or reward can compromise the quality of experience. (Sparsely more than a journey/destination commentary but one that can be unpacked).
A quote from Masanobu Fukuoka a natural farmer:
"When it is understood that one loses joy and happiness in the attempt to possess them, the essence of natural farming will be realized. The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings."
[All this coming from a recovering addict that lived in a tent and shot up goofballs for years. Today the universe is my dance partner!]
@@andrewjamesstewart139 Again, I understand the essence of a statement like that and maybe in reality, it's at least partly true. Yes, the mad rush to acquire things can definitely diminish the joy of those things because the buildup can never usually compare to the actual thing. We overbuild the significance of something in our mind at times or maybe for some people, they usually/mostly do that. However, I think my examples are more raw, like hey, I planted this field and when it came time for harvest I got little to nothing. Hey, I went out hunting and I came back with nothing. My stomach being empty and growling tells me I failed, whether I want to put a different picture on the situation or not. This is the discrepancy for me, to differentiate between what I absolutely needed to happen and what is a nice to have. Yes, if it's a nice to have and it doesn't happen, I chalk it up as a learning experience, hey I can do this better next time to more positively affect the outcome. Hey, not having this thing taught me that I didn't actually need it. But its when I actually need something, I need this to happen and it doesn't, how do I internalize that? I'm still hungry. I've still got no crops.
@@dANbRnL I don't think objective failure or it's recognition interferes with the stoic idea discussed, though. The worst examples are the hardest examples to take away from. Getting caught up doesn't get you fed. Screaming for your supper doesn't get you fed. Do a logistical inventory of the failure, learn how to get better fed. Oh well.
You make a valid point. However I think it's best to focus on the journey and not necessarily the outcome. If we succeed at everything we do. How will we ever become any greater than we are today?
This video shifted how I view myself to a more positive place. I was called "jaded" once by someone close to me and I accepted that description without question. However, I couldn't figure out why I was so much more happy, why I was so much more optimistic than the stereotype of a jaded person. This video answered that question for me. I am just a person who naturally practices the concept of "amor fati" in my daily life without ever knowing this attitude had a name given to it. It isn't that I'm jaded, that nothing is new to me because I've seen it before. It is because I have seen situations before that I can appreciate something new every time. Tough situations are a beautiful challenge to practice gratitude, to practice joy, to CHOOSE gratitude and joy instead of resentment.
Some tragedies should never come into existence, like abuse and parental neglect, but how each person chooses to come out of those horrendous situations is where beauty, courage, and strength can blossom or where death will fester. This is an important concept and I thank you for sharing it.
We lost our two Girls, shortly before they where about 2 be born. Hardest Time of my Life.... but i accepted it and can move forward, reading about Stoicism helped me along this way a lot.
I like what came out of your conversation with Robert... Instead of "Amor Fati", it should be more like
"Amor Vitae, Acceptatio Fati"
Only two things you control, your attitude and your effort.
This guy pretty much saved my life. Many thanks
I totally agree with your argument. amor fati. accept everything that happened to your life, that's beyond our control, its our mind conditioning.otherwise we can't move on
From seeing you back in the day, on Creative Live, to later seeing you and Gary Vaynerchuk and then now taking in your Stoic lessons; Bro, you’ve made an impact in my life. We’ve never met, yet I feel as if I’ve known you for years. Thank you Ryan for all you do. The ripple effect from your videos is more immense than you know. Have battled PTSD many years and recently recovering from a massive heart attack. God, YOU and GaryVee have been my motivation & inspiration.
My vintage Jaguar Mark 4 caught fire in the middle of Stanly Park in Vancouver.
After several futile attempts to extinguish the fire, I stood back and watched it burn with a smile.
Strangers approached me asking why I was smiling. I answered that I was happy to know
I was the last person to drive that beautiful car.
I love your work Ryan! I got Amor Fati tattooed on my ribs over in Thailand while on a trip around the world after my relationship with my fiancé fell apart. Wouldn’t have ever known about the idea of Amor Fati if it wasn’t for you! 👍
Planning to do the same
As i’m listening to this…. if there would be a talk with the best fathers these were, this would be in these Fathers’s talks. Thank you.
I truely love my fate. i love everything that's happening in my life. I love every moment of my life. I suffered from anxiety before. my heart rate would usually go up and make me uncomfortable. The day I started maintaining a neutral expression. A magic happened. heart rate slowed down immediately. Thank you Ryan.
Truly food for healthier thought development. Thank you Sir. 😮
Robert Greene is such an amazing person. So humble and intelligent🙏🙏🙏
Happiness doesn’t depend on outside circumstances and one’s own personal relationships or your posessions. Happiness is inside your mind its in your state of mind so in order you can achieve it one must immerse himself n focus on the today and now our duties in our daily life accept it Amor Fati Love your fate and them have Compassion to your heart and Contentment in our Mind! Gautama Buddha
Taking control of your thoughts and maintaining positivity over time is not natural but is the key to more mental balance, acceptance and yes even happiness...loving these videos Ryan..
This video came at right time when I was about to look up how we endure adversity. Recently, I was shocked by some news that will be affecting me for this entire year, and I feel anxious on a daily basis about whether I'm going to be able to endure it or not. Thank you for the great video, Ryan! ❤️
I love life but the anger I feel about the abuse of trust and cruelty that nearly killed me and left me almost completely bereft is the only reason I am energised to fight to save other potential victims from a similar fate, even though I have little chance of success. Knowing that anyone else ever suffered so needlessly while the transgressor enjoys continued exalted status in the community seems beyond the stoicism that I will need to get through the battles ahead, or swallow the injustice if, or when, I fail.
I once read something that sound like this "The happiest life if one where even if you have to live it over and over again, you would not change a thing."
It was much later when I realized there is no such life, no matter how luxurious or pleasurable, it will become an endless nightmare soon enough. It it only through sheer strength of mind and will that you can accept any life given to you and still achieve happiness.
No phrase or concept has changed my life more than Amor Fati.
I had heard the phrase Memento Mori a lot. It seemed to be the main stoic mantra, and Amor Fati seemed like more of a back burner phrase-at least that was the impression that I got, anyway.
But because I have a neurotic personality, Amor Fati resonated with me A LOT more once I fully understood its meaning.
This simple phrase and concept helped me to lose 60 pounds. It helped me advance my career and move me closer to starting my own business. It gave me confidence to put myself out there and build connections.
It is the most powerful concept I’ve ever been exposed to.
If I were to ever tattoo a phrase on my body so that I would remember to always live by it, it would be Amor Fati.
One of my favourite movies is The Hours (starring Nicole Kidman, Meryl Streep and Julianne Moore). In the final scene (which happens to be my favourite scene), Virginia Woolf (Kidman) had this beautiful monologue:
Dear Leonard,
To look life in the face, always to look life in the face.
And to know it for what it is.
At last to know it, to love it for what it is.
And then, to put it away.
Even though in the movie, the monologue is spoken in a scene where she would drown herself, I now understand why that scene deeply impacts me, in a positive way (the scene used to depress me out)
I now see that as an example of Amor Fati. Thank you Ryan for bringing this ancient concept to my awareness.
p.s: currently reading The Obstacle is the Way, and I'm loving it
Ryan beautiful, staying in the moment , grateful I found your space. So thank you for all you put out to the world . Keep providing people with hope and acceptance .
I've been following you for well over a year as I try to recover from the loss of my wife in early 2020. I really would like to see how others who have lost spouses have succeeded in some form of recovery through stoicism. It seems to be a topic that briefly gets touched on, but I'm not aware of anything in your books or videos where you have interviewed someone trying to overcome a loss like this. Amor fati is very useful for some of life's events but not for a lost wife/husband. I wish somewhere you would address this in detail. I know there are many, many more people like me that would like to hear your thoughts on this. I love your videos and your books and it has no doubt had a great impact on me. Thank you for that.
Michael, I know this isn’t what you were asking for, but I am happy to share my experience with you of losing my husband at 45 a year and a half ago. I think I would say that I have mostly used a stoic perspective in dealing with the loss. Let me know if you’d like to hear it. It isn’t too long I don’t think.
Thank you, man, thank you for taking the effort and time to put all this knowledge together.
Just got diagnosed with crones disease today, needed this. Thank you. Also bought the Gregory Hayes version of meditations because of you, that’s been amazing as well.
Be amazing mate, be you now. Nicko nz.
Quit grains ,seed oils
Hey Ryan, I have been watching your videos and learning from you since a year and a lot has changed in my life, there have been many ups and downs for sure which makes me realise that life is no less than a roller coaster ride, it is filled with surprises. This message in particular is very helpful to me and lifted some huge weight of societal expectations and what other people think of me, I am starting to accept myself and this message really makes me strong. Thank you for your great work, Lots of love. Amor Fati for Life!
Be kind.... Everyone is battling something
I've been in burnout for the past few years, but I keep going on. Who else out there is also suffering from pain all over their bodies?
.. the art of acquiescence. Love it. Very Jiu-Jitsu and taoistic....
Remember what Heraclitus said, "The only constant in life is change." Once you master this, you can let go of your need to control things and people you can't and you'll find a burden lifted from your heart. It took me years to really get this but it can be done.
I've watched this video before but today I lost my job and this video contains special value for me, thanks for making me feel better ❤
@Lauren Finucci 🫂💜
I sure needed to hear this. I have had so much bad happen and now another big blow, bankruptcy at 60. I have to accept it, and grow in this. I actually have bern through worse and am where I am for those reasons
Thank you, Ryan for introducing me to Stoicism. It has immensely helped be the person I am now. My gratitude. ❤️
same!
Seneca: "Life is like a play: it's not the length, but the excellence of the acting that matters."
I wonder what a great friend would Ryan be, to have a beer listening Iron Maiden and chat about the stoics and life from time to time...
I've read the stoics. Thought they were good. But you put it into words that are amazing. Thank you.
Thank you Ryan, for real, your voice even in small clips gets me through the day.
The problem with accepting fate is that you create your own fate with your own beliefs. Change your beliefs and you change your fate.