What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 พ.ค. 2024
- A quick summary about Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD, one of the many personality trait-based DSM diagnoses. In this video I try to show some of the difficulties of living with BPD, as well as a bit about treatment of the condition.
Questions and corrections always welcome in the comments.
For those interested in the DSM classification, I've left out two diagnostic elements in this video - dissociation/paranoia, and suicidal/self harm behaviours.
Visit www.spectrumbpd.com.au/ for more information.
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What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
It’s estimated that one in a hundred people have borderline personality disorder, or BPD. In this video, we’ll talk about the challenges people with BPD face, the features that characterise the condition, and how people can recover from it.
People with BPD face issues such as
Feeling a desperate and urgent need to avoid being abandoned by other people - even if the abandonment is only imagined
Having intense and unstable relationships, repeatedly
Idealising people, then intensely disliking or devaluing them, in relatively short intervals
A chronic feeling of emptiness
Uncertainty of self - what psychiatrists call an ‘unstable self-image’
Repeatedly acting in impulsive and risky ways
Feeling rapid fluctuations in mood
To add to these challenges, BPD is currently under-recognised, and the availability of specific services is limited. The reason may include the social stigma of mental health conditions, or the challenges that health professionals face in treating BPD.
Think of these factors, then consider how that might affect a relationship between a health professional and a person with BPD.
If you know or have known someone with BPD, you might struggle to find empathy towards them. You might have good reason - they might have hurt you. It’s important not to blame the person in such situations. It’s not their fault, after all. So what is the cause of BPD? Well, it isn’t fully understood. Currently, a combination of biological factors and early-life experiences, such as trauma, is thought to contribute to the development of BPD.
Diagnosis
The psychiatrist’s manual of diagnosis - the DSM - encourages diagnosis of personality disorders based on the following:
An enduring pattern of inner experience and behaviour that deviates markedly from the expectations of the individual's culture, manifested in two (or more) of the following areas:
- cognition (i.e. ways of perceiving and interpreting self, other people, and events)
- affectivity (i.e. the range, intensity, lability, and appropriateness of emotional response)
- interpersonal functioning
- impulse control.
The pattern must be inflexible and pervasive, lead to clinically significant distress or impairment, be of long duration, with onset that can be traced back at least to adolescence or early adulthood.
Meanwhile, the possibility that these symptoms are part of another mental disorder, or caused by substance abuse must be ruled out.
In terms of BPD specifically, these elements will be characterised by a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image and affects, and marked impulsivity.
It’s important to remember that diagnosis of BPD can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it can help people to identify their worrying behaviour, and work to improve their lives. On the other hand, it can expose the person to discrimination. A 2010 Australian Senate Committee on Mental health stated that “an end to marginalisation of the disorder within the community and the mental health sector, is urgently needed.”
Management
Many people with BPD will have the following treatment goals:
To regulate their emotional world
To find a sense of purpose in life
Development and maintenance of strong relationships
The best treatment results have been shown with Dialectical Behavioural Therapy. Dialectical means ‘concerned with opposing forces’, which here are “acceptance” and “change”. It involves working with a therapist to both accept the person as they are, and to appreciate the importance of change in recovery.
Given that a person with BPD experiences significant issues regarding real or perceived abandonment, and may also experience intense and uncontrollable mood swings - the challenge is considerable for treating health professionals, particularly if they are untrained in BPD. It is the responsibility of the health professional, however, to stay calm in difficult situations, as the maintenance of a strong therapeutic relationship is integral to positive treatment of BPD.
The worst part is the lack of identity. You get such intense feelings of anger and nihilism you feel like a downright sociopath. Moments later you’re filled with such joy you feel like a Disney character. It’s scary not knowing who you are
It really is
I know..but we have each other at least to understand it feels better knowing your not the only one dealing with it ❤️
Omg you literally explained how I feel . Exactly like a Disney character . Like a little kid .
this sounds exactly like me and I'm not even diagnosed with it. Idk maybe that explains why I'm always so paranoid about others
Yepp👀
The worst part is never being sure if you’re real. You feel like you’re watching your life through a TV screen.
Yer like life's not real and the days blend in.
That's called depersonalization
Robyn ^
Charlee Brown. had this thought .
Oh my gosh that's exactly how I would describe it
For me the worst part is that whenever I like someone I start obsessing over them to the point where I hate myself for it. My whole mood depends on their availability and how they treat me, I keep thinking of things I can do for them (as in giving them gifts or helping them out) because I'm so scared of them abandoning me and a small change in their behaviour can cause me bad anxiety and I react really emotionally. Its extremely mentally draining and I literally dread falling for someone again because my BPD always ruins it
This is exactly my case too. Been 8 years since my first and last gf. I feel like no one deserves me, I would only cause them harm.
@@turkumies7799 exactly
Hey I understand this tho. Don’t feel like no one deserves you. One day someone will treat you good and appreciate you where you won’t feel the need to be angry or feel hatred. The thing that makes us angry is giving so much and not getting back. I was in this position with my recent ex boyfriend. I bought him a phone, took him to places and realized he never did anything even quite similar to the stuff I do for him. He didn’t put effort in, we dated for 2 years only invited me to dinner once. He’d proceed to degrade me for every little thing, or talk about how his exes were better than me because they didn’t nag him. Even tho I did so much for him. It’d make me angry. Unbelievably angry. But then I realized that my relationship before didn’t make me feel like this because he at least put effort in to the relationship. He didn’t degrade me so I had no reason to feel this anger. Always remember there’s a thin line between love and hate. It might not be you but someone who brings out the worst in you.
@@highimally3520 thank you so much, this actually made me feel better
You know why guys have several phone conversations before dating them,you straight up let them know what's up with you mental health,I'm sure most of you have a shrink,let them know you are treated for this,if they don't understand someone that was meant for you will,My mom had many mental health struggles when I was growing up,my dad worked out of town,as a 8yr old child going to school,conning home only to see my mom crying one minute and laughing the next,so I would sit with her till she was wore out,I would take her upstairs so she could go to sleep,so I sat there and watched her all night,my dad gave her a gun prior to her having these horrible episodes,one morning she made me sit by the bed,she didn't want to be alone,she told me not to leave the room,she said if anyone came near the room ,you already know where in going with that,I told her I had to use the bathroom and I went in the bathroom and locked the door,I jumped two stories down and ran to the neighbors for help,the police came and got her,she finally received help,not having my dad around during the week and on the weekends he still worked and got intoxicated,she had more spells a few year after that,I never gave up in her,my mom and dad finally divorced,she meant a beautiful spirited man,he treat her like a queen,the last ten or more years of her life she did very well,she passed at the age of fifty on Christmas Eve,I am just so grateful I had the chance to see my mom happy,she meant everything to me,she lived me and thanked me numerous times,she said I saved her life,the moral of my story is there's someone very special waiting to love you all,I have anxiety and PTSD I'm not ashamed ,I've been with my sweetheart eleven years,God bless everyone 💕💛💕💛💕💛💕💛💕💛💕💛💕
It was so weird having so much emotion but at the same time also feeling incredibly empty and numb. It was shocking to love a person then suddenly hating everything about them.
i thought this was normal
I struggle with the hate...I just can't tolerate other...I have more than seven years without going outside (sometimes I do go outside but like 3 days a month) because I just can't talk with someone without feeling anxious, uncomfortable and mad at them without reason I hate the world and I can't hide it anymore
@flow_state_chocolate how is that work how?
@@user-eb5ix3su5tlol same
Once you start hating them, what's the chance you can get back with the person?
and people sometimes even romanticize BPD... it's really not cool to be clingy, impulsive, emotionally wrecked, empty and walk from idealization to degradation all the time, its not fun at all...
aimi ace no it’s not
No it really isn’t nearly cost me my job and friends
Lord Marvin I’m on disability right now from work don’t know if I’ll be able to return....
Lord Marvin can only imagine I just found out a few months ago I have bpd and feel more lost then I did when was told it’s just anxiety and depression...
@@ghostpandabanana I just found out myself and feel the same exact way.
when you text someone and they don’t reply for 10 minutes, you just start to get worried then start hating them. That makes me feel bad
this.
I get worried that they started to hate me
Or sit and wonder are they mad at me? What did I do? You dig?
I literally do this all the damn time.
kaworu pfp T____T
for me the worst part is the loneliness, no one understands and no one even wants to. I truly feel like I am always alone and going insane
Reach out to the name on my channel 👆 ...he helped me recover from BPD
Yes Andrea I relate to this feel exactly the same just going insane at different volume profound feelings of depression and disconnection from the people around me always talking to people without feeling any real connection to them
Your trash god has no place in mental health discussions
@@mentally_till trash god does but trash prescriptions don't for me I guess the Chinese are not big on religion
@@ashleymacinnon9442 nah, we operate in reality most of the time. Enjoy your hallucinations lmfao
living with bpd is harder than most people understand. it is like having a constant nagging voice in your head, even if everything in your life is going well, telling you that people you can trust secretly despise you. it involves constantly second guessing every single behavior you exhibit, then changing your identity twenty times over to make sure that people don’t dislike you. you watch how other people interact and wonder how they’re not constantly on edge. you fine tune your personality to each and every individual you interact with to please them, then are accused of being dishonest because you do so. it is having such a fear of getting offended by others because you know that if you allow yourself to feel offended, you will hate them and you will feel guilty for hating them.
This is the most accurate description I have read so far. Wow.😢😮💨
@Flow State Chocolate you cannot cure any type of personality disorder.
@Flow State Chocolate you cannot. You can treat them. But a defining trait of personality disorders is that they are lifelong.
@Flow State Chocolate you are living proof that it can be treated.
All legitimate, peer-reviewed academic journals and studies suggest that, with our current understanding of all personality disorders, they are not curable.
I am glad you found a good way to cope with bpd.
@Flow State Chocolate they can’t cure BPD bcs they literally do not know how it occurs. They know very little about it.
Did you want me to read some random sketchy website claiming it had the cure? Grow up.
I always thought this was how everyone feels... Then I got diagnosed with BPD and I feel so alone and strange.
My diagnosis made me feel more connected and better. Gave a name and sort of an explanation to the crazy I feel and made me realize I *wasn't * alone. I'd always felt differently than other people and struggled with things they didn't.
I knew that I had BPD for 2 years and all my teachers said to everyone of my classmates about me having BPD and then no one wants to talk to me
Same. Especially with the ridiculous stigma surrounding the disorder. The way people feel about it makes it feel so hopeless and I hate how much I care about others opinions.
@@christinaskittle exactly! You're so right
How though.. my parents don’t believe mental illnesses exist.. so I’ve gotta wait tell I’m 18
Having bpd sucks... You snap or get into a mood swing when someone is arround and then when you're out of that episode you feel guilty and extremely sorry. That cycle can happen many times and in the end you just feel terrible and ask yourself. "Am i just and evil person?"
"Why am I like this?"
And many more terrible things
[WUT] Carlo omg ive never related to something more it’s such a terrible feeling
It's really hard keeping a straight face and body pose when all those things inside the body metaphorically twists you trom the inside making you unable to keep like that, also the biggest fear is getting abandoned, but as well the worst thing is that you can't express emotions correctly, in funerals you can accidentally laugh or even never cry towards the passing of a family member
💯
You think having bpd sucks. It's even worse for people who are involved with bpd 'sufferers'.
Do you find that people with BPD are I inclined to apologize? Or do they just feel guilty and keep it in and act like everything is normal after a blow up?
Dated a girl with this. Breaks my heart to the core. I tried to help but I didn’t know the severity of what it was and she refused clinical help that was recommended by a therapist. Despite all the messed up stuff she did to me I miss her and hope she’s been able to have improvement
My boy, be glad you escaped that before it had gotten a chance to skin you out of your mental health alive.. Do not be sorry for her at all, you did a great thing for yourself, can you even imagine raising a kid together? That certainly would not lead to anything good and there would be atleast 3 people of suffering that shit, now it is just one, you did nothing wrong.
I yesterday got into a fight with my boyfriend, I was diagnosed three years ago but only yesterday did my family tell me about this. I'm scared, I already have an appointment with cognitive therapy so I can start getting better. I'm so scared
relatable
Once again another Nurotypical person dating a mentally ill person and then ditching them… There’s nothing about that that is helpful to her. Nurotypical people need to stop dating mentally ill people because you guys never know what you’re getting into and when it no longer serves you you ditch them like trash
bro im the same i got a girlfriend with this 😢 she broke up with me, but i understand everything on her… she get paranoid that i am not faithful to her things like that.. what a shame as i really love her…
I was diagnosed with BPD since my teenage. Spent my whole life fighting this disastrous disorder. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here. and mushrooms are one of the most amazing things on this planet i wish people would all realize. they could solve a lot of problems, more than just mental treatments, environmental clean up; the possibilities are endless with fungus.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in France. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
YES very sure of Dr.benfungi. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I hate that psilocybin gets grouped with drugs like cocaine and heroin. Mushrooms are a remedy, not a vice! I went on a microdose treatment for a couple of months and within the first week, every sight of a cigarette got me questioning why I was doing all that to myself. It really works.
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
i love never knowing if I'm idealizing ppl or if I actually like them
Everyone idolizes at first. The distinguishing factor is how you feel when the other person does something that you don't like. Are you still able to love when his or her breath stinks, haven't showered, and cannot do for him or herself? Do you still care when she breaks a few items in anger? Do you still care when he pours water over your head? Perhaps, the only real way out of this disorder is to learn to appreciate boredom. Although, I do not want to minimize how difficult it is when someone is diagnosed with this disorder. The aging process typically minimizes the longterm impact of this disorder if caught in the teens and early 20's. Thank goodness, there is a way to reduce the devastation brought about by all the risky behavior. Thank you to all the providers of Mental Health Care. Weekly talk therapy does wonders for so many people.
Pelin Özge does that mean my boyfriend maybe not actually like me
Embla Grehn Lenne yea
Joseph Samayoa wow
Yes you do. Dont become the label that others want you to succumb to in order to serve inequality.
The fear of abandonment is really, for me, the most crippling.
god this one is the most intense
teddy ted Watching yourself ruin your relationships and actively thinking about what you are doing but not being able to stop it, is making me lose it right now.
Yes or betrayal .It’s so draining to the point relationships are just not even worth it .
Yes, That’s why i can’t be myself and why I act like the best friend that could ever be. I’m in too much fear of losing anyone
This... I got diagnosed with BPD today and I realised how much I actually fear losing and getting betrayed by the people around me , especially people i love. Few years back I lost someone and till now I grief intensely, way more than you are suppose to. My body will automatically dissociate when recall of the incident but sometimes my body couldn't dissociate and when it couldn't I become depressed and suicidal... It feels totally like a roller coaster or living with a finger hanging off a cliff.
You, BPD patient who are reading this, I managed to reverse most symptoms. It is possible. It requires acknowledging stressors and studying the pattern of emotional reactions to such. Then you start working around that to reduce that reactive emotional response, identifying when it is excessive and when it's not. You get analytical and keep a cold head. And you keep working on it every day, at your pace, giving yourself time to express yourself and relax mentally whenever you need it.
It's all about 'equalizing'.
So hang in there 'cause as I did and still do, you can also get better and there is hope! So do something nice for yourself 'cause you got this! :)
I have found that with mine, my intolerance and lack of patience with people who are emotionally selfish and blaming me for all of their problems was a trigger, so I started losing all that toxicity in my life the healthier I became. Absolutely critically thinking about what the stressors are is so vital to it but with emotional dysregulation it’s very difficult and that seems to be the thing that Hass to be treated first. I also have bipolar too, so I take medication for that and it really helped me to stabilize the moods just enough for me to work on, the trauma behind my BPD and mourning the loss of everything I should have had in my formative years and growing up and never feeling secure and never feeling really truly loved or no one bothered with my character development or mental health as a child. I had to really reverse a lot of that by doing a lot for myself to heal myself. I absolutely agree with what you say and it’s such a hard job, but it does reverse itself with, a few different fronts of treatment that helps the individual
I’m happy for your inner peace and I know all
Of the hard work to do that . That’s much appreciated!
This. I had gotten so stoned a few months back (low tolerance) and entered a really paranoid state of mind. However, I also intensely started self-reflecting on my actions. All the people I have hurt and how ungrateful I was throughout my life. Ever since then I've learned to study my stressors. I ask myself "why is this making me mad?" If there really is no valid reason or its a stupid reason to be angry, I will just tell myself to calm the fuck down. Go to the bathroom, splash some water on my face, and avoid interactions with people until the end of the episode. Ever since I have been doing this, my mood has stabilized throughout the day. It feels good, because now I can focus on my good qualities and build myself up from there.
I'm just starting to accept what needs to be done and I really appreciate your comment on this. Thank you.
People tend to not understand how hyper self aware we tend to be as well. Imo thats the most brutal part. Knowing what I'm doing and saying but being so far gone in the moment that i can't stop it. Only regret it afterwards...
So accurate.
I’ve met a couple people w/ this disorder. All of them have a hard time keeping friendships with people.
It's an incredibly hard thing to experience on the receiving end. I was in the process of dating a girl with BPD. I know what it's like to feel broken, so I told her I would try to be there for her. She was messing around with a girl, so I cut ties with her. Nothing against anyone who's bi or lesbian, all the power to them, but I wanted a monogamous relationship. She blew up towards me in the biggest, most exaggerated way I've ever seen and acted like I was the scum of the earth. She sent me hundreds of text for a week straight, going from sorry to I hate you usually within the span of a minute in between.
I dont even try anymore.
Yeah even if they know i have bpd they think its an excuse to be an asshole or depressed for attention. Bruh. Got new friends who understand and deal with me when i have episodes.
A couple ow shit is that a pair ow fuk run like fuk, or just approach them like a normal person.
It's so nice when people just talk to me normally.
I am no monster.
@@kinguntouchable4035
It really does not matter, we all have feelings and love the other shit is overspill what goes ta shit.
The worst part about having this is the feeling of emptiness, you can be around the most loving and cheerful people and still feel some kind of distrust, sometimes I push away people that really care and blame my self for it in the end, some days I feel normal then all of a sudden agitated with daily routines being negative then numb to the world and back to feeling upbeat and positive, its definitely a fucking rollercoaster..I had to take xanax just to feel normal
Man I feel the same as well... it’s terrible :(
Same bro, im suffering from this shit on daily basis.
This describes me so well. :(
I have had 2 fiends like you. I will always love them, but I couldn't put up with the rollercoaster forever. They would suddenly snap and freakout at me, quite cruelly and I would stay calm and deescalate the situation. It would hurt, but I would have to put my feelings to the side and stop myself from arguing back or stating any unpleasant truths.
Eventually, I just didn't feel that I deserved a 1 sided relationship in which I walked on glass and swallowed my own feelings. It's hard to know when you're staying strong for a friend or just letting someone abuse you.
@@Saffron-sugar Ok
bpd'er here... weekly therapy for one year has CHANGED me like 50%. i am now off meds, i can recognize and feel emotions without becoming a slave to them, i hardly cut myself (working on it) and now i can go out in public and fear men so much less (working on it) so now i can talk to men without wanting to run away scared. i am also working on friendships :) its an amazing feeling. go get it guys.
omg i have the same anxiety with men and pretty much anyone i start sweating so much
@@livelovelaughx315 yes!! i have been slowly working my way up to be around men if i am alone but in public. i actually have a terrible fear in the womens locker room and bathroom because… well some men who say they are women now use them
@@harrisshob5819 you mean trans women?
@@gabagooler trans, born males... so far they were huge hairy beasts so if they were trans, then their doctors work miracles.
@@harrisshob5819 damn harris, bring a towel with you if you hate looking in the mirror that much
I was just a shy, quiet, and considered 'weird' child. But I was also quite optimistic and dreamy ✨ there was a gift-exchange day at school when everyone in my class had to bring a gift to others randomly. I spent my whole afternoon making a small toy out of cardboard and nicely put it into a cake box. The kids avoided it and they prayed not having to take it. All they wanted was shiny toys from the store. That moment I felt embarrassed of what I'd made, and questioned myself 'why people not liking the thing that I put so much effort in making? What did I even do wrong?'
As I grow older, things aren't just about my rejected gift anymore, it's about how I look, how I behave, how I react, how I live... if I'm not acting like others around, then asap I'm a failure, a burden, a crazy mind. And even when they hurt me deeply, physically, verbally, i shouldn't show any of my true emotions, cause that's also considered weak and 'too fragile', 'can't handle the world' shit. Worst thing about borderline is that I started to throw my anger and depression on people I love. I don't want to hurt them but just can't control the way I function. I want to be loved and understanded, too much to the point that I got out of control and ruin everything in my own hands.
So my answer is no, I won't achieve a fulfill, 'happily ever after' thingy. I don't give up, I just accept the way it is. It's not fine, but it is what it is. And everyone's different, some are just not meant to be like others, earning lots of money and get society's recognition to be able to feel good. Some just seek for peace whenever they are, that's enough for life.
Do you ever feel like sometime you would loose control an act out in violance or something like that?
@Hartley, i feel ya matey and you are not alone.
I try not to think so much in lavels and dignosis, because it feels like one has been branded for life, as if there's nothing to do about it.
I was told by my therapist that i should look into borderline personality disorder, i was even angrier, because of all the shite ppl has put me through, it would only be nornal to lash out and act out afyer years of bottling up
I started to look into it now a col of years after.
I always felt i was more in the category of an "HSP", (highly sensitive person) you feel everything on a deeper level.
Now that i understand i self sabotage a lot for myself due to fears of being ababdoned or abused, i have cut off everyone i know and am a loner atm, do that i can rebuild myself from the scratch and give myself a xhance to breathe freely without ppl's lavels on them.
Even HSP, should be taken lightly, im saying this juat to not be doomed and gloomed, and maybe it is better that bords of a feather flock together and just keep on being your wonderful you, but dont expect anything from others, to not get disappointed.
Loving, giving and feeling things so deeply that you get lost in it, it's intense and exhausting.
So give yourself the love & care that you need.
There's a reason why we are the way that we are, ppl dont just develop into "over dramatical or over the top emotional wrecks" , it's a response or reaction to the injustice that has happened and keeps on happening that makes one tick.
And i think since we are so hugely affected by others energies, words, influence, that is where it begins.
Needing to separate oneself from others and their expectations.
@@freakomusicvibes5828 yes i feel like that, specially as i've grown older, i have wanted to suffocate the air out of them, and im not sure it's because of my frustration or repressed anger, but its like i cant stand hearing shite qny longer and i just want to shut them up ...and maybe it has something to do with overpowering them, that i want to show them that i too have my limits, keep testing me and i will show you what im capable of.
But i wouldn't hurt others, because i dont hurt ppl physically or emotionally, i know what it feels like so why would i do something that changes everything?
Am i fantasizing throwing my colleafueq out of the balcony? YES!! but would i do it? No!
Even if they do deserve revenge, i know that karma will take care of them and i am learning to rem8ve grudges & try to forgive ppl , including myself for shortcomings
I can tell you what it's like to have it with two words: not fun
Bucky Watson It's exhausting....
Agreed. It's at least nice to know there's other men out there like me.
Totally not fun
I think it is hilarious, especially if they can't laugh about themselves..
It's a fucking nightmare to be honest! I would trade it with an arm aaany day.
I am crying rn idk y. Reading those comments makes me feel that there are still other people that can understand me
Let’s talk
I’m here for you
I just got diagnosed with bpd literally 10 minutes ago and it all makes sense. I always felt so alone since it took them so long to diagnose me. Now it all makes sense, just remember that you're not alone and you'll get through this.
We are not alone
Same. I'm crying like, "my people."
me too :(
I can mostly control my behavior. But my mood swings are so intense and the feelings are so intense that they physically hurt me. I also relate to hating and loving your friends. I never let them know but I find it worrisome that I can switch like that.
Felt good reading your comment because I always felt guilty for feeling so much hatred for someone you love.
My feelings are so intense to the point that hey physically hurt also.
I just cut people out so I can’t switch like that. It’s exhausting.
If I felt joy a few minutes ago, now my feelings completely switched to anger and sadness. There are days when I feel so unworthy, hated by others, while constantly needing their validation, thus suffering even more. If I notice the slightest change in your voice tone or your facial expressions, I automatically think you don’t like me and I’m not worth anything. It’s so exhausting. It’s exhausting because…I really care about the people around me/my family, and deep down I know they do too, but I always need a constant reassurance that they do so. I didn’t necessarily have a traumatic childhood, but I grew up without a father, and thinking about it, this might be the root of my BPD. I’m trying to stay strong, but it’s hard.
The worst part of BPD is the extreme idolising and intense hatred. Once my favourite teacher and a close family friend corrected me in front of the whole class and a boy laughed at me, I felt very embarrassed(I also have social anxiety). Ever since then I feel intense hatred towards her and I know I shouldn’t and it wast her fault but I can’t control the hatred. I have the same feelings towards my best friends, I either love them as they deserve or hate them for no reason.
@rabbi Steinberg no it's really not something that someone can control
the mood swing are also pretty bad tbh
@@sexyhehe Thank you
@rabbi Steinberg bro calm down, its literally a personality disorder, it happens whether they like it or not, stop acting like they're emotionally immature because it's a really big insult to people who have it. Grow up.
@rabbi Steinberg i know youre trolling ^ but I got in an actual fight and I wouldnt say I won, but i still am who I am so youre wrong
Currently fighting tears while reading these comments. I felt so alone in all of this and now I’m seeing comment after comment describing exactly what I’ve been struggling to explain.
Theirs a book called Letting Go by David R Hawkins. It is very good and would suggest it to anyone, weather they suffer from mental illness or not. He talks about emotions and how we should deal with them to reach the highest feelings of love and peace, and connect back to your true nature. Hope this helps
This is my feelings I’m 17 and finding out I have bpd the weight lifted off of me hearing the diagnosis Bc for us it’s like living not knowing if you can trust yourself and to have a name and ways to fix it made me so so so happy
Yes 💙
Me too. But I’m at work...
Same. Hi, hugging you 🧡
I was diagnosed with BPD 2 years ago and before that I seriously remember feeling crazy all the time. I was always so racked with guilt of made up situations and thinking that my friends hated me and never wanted to talk to me again. I remember calling my friend about 20 times in a row because I was so worried that they hated me. I always felt so bad about everything that it would sometimes turn suicidal because I didn’t know how to get rid of my guilt. I’d often lash out on people for no reason and got into fights and arguments a lot. I felt like I had no control over myself anymore but I finally was able to make some sort of change and I am making steps forward. I know that it will probably never fully go away but it just feels like it’s so much easier to live life now.
I'm glad you were able to make some progress, I'd love to know what methods worked for you as I'd like to see if they may work for me as well. Also I have heard that DBT is very effective in treating people with BPD.
@@shellykind hey, my bf has bpd and I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on how to help him best? He can be very hurtful in his bad times but in his good times, he wants to do better and I'm patient. I know it's worth taking the painful phases for him and being by his side while we work through our issues. But other than patience, can recommend anything I could do to help? What would help you guys? And what can he do to work on it?
Why is this so relatable man 😭
I’ve been begging my husband for YEARS to seek treatment and I keep wondering if he has BPD. The roller coaster of abuse to idealization to hatred to threats of self harm are so much that our children and I have to leave because it’s just getting worse. This is exactly what it’s like. I express an opinion different from him or even just say “I’m going to go see my dad on Sunday with the kids. Want to come!” and he explodes thinking I’m leaving him and can sometimes break furniture and punch holes in walls and scares me and the kids. I finally saved up enough after 2 years to get us out and we’re moving away. BPD in it of itself doesn’t make one a bad person. But when it goes untreated and ignored, it can be devastating.
This is heartbreaking, I'm so sorry. Would you mind telling me what has happened in the last year since you commented?
I can't believe u're leaving him even after u got to know that its not really his fault. U mentioned it urself that he idealises you when he's happy. I really hope he gets the help needed
HEY OP 💙 please set boundaries ! Setting boundaries early on snd sticking to them is very important! (I say you have to follow through with your word because A trait of bpd is also manipulation ) and understand that even your sympathize with the condition ,it will not be used as an excuse for agressive behavior !... hope this helps a bit
When I’m at work and come back from my break, I feel unaccepted, or everyone’s judging me. It feels almost like a conversation Ice breaker that can never break the ice.
nah this is meeeeeeeeeee :( FOMO :(
Harapan Fintech Were In this TOGETHER!
I thought i was alone
Wtf this is me to
@rabbi Steinberg yeah we all know that
i just always feel so disconnected. i’m always sad and pissed and frustrated and depressed but i never really have a good reason to be. i thought the average person felt this way before i found out abt bpd.
omg. you just exactly described how i’ve been feeling. i feel so guilty for feeling the way that i feel. i just want to figure this out and get help. i’m really tired.
@@lostinthecosmos6095 Same
are y’all already getting better?
@@lonerismx4443 i can’t tell. i feel okay now but i just feel like that’s temporary and i’m just in the waiting room for another episode. thanks for asking though.
@@lostinthecosmos6095 ooo I can totally get what you are saying. I’m in the middle of an episode rn. Feeling very alone in this :(
One of the saddest stories I have heard was of a 21 year old who tried to commit suicide by cutting his wrists. He survived but while in recovery he screamed at his friends and family asking them why they couldn’t have just let him die so that he wouldn’t bring them any more misery. He was forcefully committed to a mental hospital and he was convinced for a time that he would be forgotten by his family but they always remained in touch and eventually he got better.
I’m glad
You don't get out much huh.
@Alleria.Winter bro we have anime pfp... we can't use that insult on anyone lol😅
For many years I was dominated by loneliness, abandonment, depression, emptiness, hopelessness, but a few years ago my anger and stress became so intense, they now dominate everything else I feel, and I'm still alone all the time but it doesn't hurt anymore, but now for me to be around people it's simply too much to ask, because my life experiences made me become so different from others.
I’ve had BPD for many years and I will never forget the time my boyfriend told me “you have more mood swings in 30 minutes than I do in a whole week”
My ex doesn't want me anymore because of it lol :|
I mean he’s not wrong...I just learned to accept my girlfriend even then
@@lotxs about the mood swings part
How are you now?? Also i love your profile
@@jack5710 same
BPD feels like your emotions are on a "See and Say" and they're all under a giant magnifying glass...and sometimes waking up from an episode feels like waking up from being blackout drunk...with only a fuzzy recollection and and bunch of apologies.
Honey Bee too accurate
I got no apology, not saying I neccecarily did everything right tho I'm not entirely sure, but I don't know what else I could have done at that time.
Wow this is so accurate
i’ve gotten one of those apologies. breaks my heart
That's fucked. Abuse.
Worst part of it for me are the issues with self image. Not knowing who I am or how I really feel at any given moment is absolutely crippling. I feel like a hollow shell, especially when I'm not around others.
I've been in a relationship with a boderline person who refused to get proper treatment, it was extremely difficult to deal with her, it destroyed my mental health. I had to be careful with everything I did and said so it wouldn't trigger anything. I had to make sure she knew I was busy, so she wouldn't feel abandoned even after 10 minutes. Sometimes when I couldn't respond for a few hours because of college, she would forget all the endless love she felt for me and would seek out affection on her ex boyfriend. He took advantage of that need of being loved a lot of times and I, of course, felt extremely hurt and cheated on. She cheated on me whenever her ex showed her more affection than I (even if he was faking it all). It was the worse period of my life, I felt like I was a ball she kept rolling side to side according to her emotions. Even though I knew she had issues, we have to rememver that when we have problems we need to take care of them because it not only affect us, but the people around us. My mental health went down because hers wasn't in the best. I hope she is better now because she wasn't in a moment to be in a relationship with anyone and no one has to live like that forever.
Take care of yourself now.
Therapy.
Omfg I did exactly the same to my ex boyfriend…when he wouldn’t text me back for a long time and if he doesn’t give me the time and love I want than I get really mad and start to hate him and go talk to other men or talk with another ex because he didn’t give me the attention. As someone with borderline you just want to be with the person 24/7 and it‘s so damn toxic but we also have a horrible jealousy problem and want our partners only for ourselves…it‘s kinda not our fault we just have massive anxiety of being left…
This is me, I hurt the woman I care so much about, I finally got help and I am doing better but it might be too late and I dont know what to do
@@timeyinsholaye9169 hey I was wondering if you tried reaching out to her? I'm pretty sure my boyfriend has bpd and in his bad times, it's really hard and hurtful for me but I know he wants to be better for me and try to work on it and that's what matters to me. I hope there will be someone who feels the same way about you :)
Leticia I’m literally crying reading what you said I’ve gone through that so many times I’m completely exhausted and destroyed with the quick mood changes and just everything PLEASE I wanna talk more about this it makes me feel les alone and sane
I overcame BPD and though i still struggle I can almost say I live free from it. if you struggle from BPD I want you to know that there is hope
Tell how?
@@lordpeyn seeing a therapist is very important step, one that is compulsory, so that everytime you have those moodswings and feelings of insurtanty for exemple your therapist would help you understand that it is not normal and that you can work on it to loose that feeling
What did you struggle with most while you had BPD?
@Sierra it depends on people. Having the same illness doesn't mean that we're all the same. That we are all at the same stage. That we have the samz thoughts at the same moment, maybe you know, but other people do not. We get stuck thinking that it is and the social pressure makes us think that seeing a therapist is a terrible. If you do know well, good for you? Hope you're doing well.
PRXNCE OF REVOLUTION the first part is to recognize. Good for you 👏🏻it takes guts to say, do you know what? This is how I've been actin socially and I do not like it.
Awesome job
I was just diagnosed with bpd last week after I went to a psychiatrist because I thought all these years I was having depression or something. It hurts when you constantly having that feeling of loneliness and thinking everyone around you are not there for you 💔
Jazminee I understand. My main symptom is feeling like nobody loves me. I think a large part of bpd is the ability to feel lots of love toward others but feeling like you don’t receive love back. And that creates anger. I dunno. Just what I noticed about myself. I hope you are proud of yourself for recognizing your disorder and fighting it. I don’t know you but I know what you’re going through, and I’m proud of you for getting help! 🤗
😟 i know the feeling 💔 or like everyone hates me. thats what i feel and think. nobody really likes me 😥😢
Same here i thought I had depression but I actually had bpd
How are you able to make so many friends in that state?
Oh I live that in real life
Just turned 30 and am having to confront this. All I can positively say is that I'm not in jail and young enough to live another 30 without holding on to the baggage of regrets and having a negative image. I hope I'm strong enough to do what I know I need to despite this disorder being very hard to find help for. I'm going to do my best
Just wanted to say you got this far, and you also have the wisdom of the past 30 years to boot. Hopefully it'll be better for you.
I used to be like this, never diagnosed though it seems familiar, now headed into 40. I mentally deconstructed my reactionary, and severed the importance of things that should mean a lot, outracing the speed of pain you know? There's guilt sometimes and concern of hurting others still. I just wish I could have dealt with it better, and sooner. I'm glad to see it more recognized these days.
if you are abused by a parent with BPD for decades - it's hard to forgive especially when they think they are right and don't need help
The Health System is Genius!
th-cam.com/video/-Nd40Uy6tbQ/w-d-xo.html
Dr. Gabor Mate explains trauma
I think I have BPD but I was abused by a parent with Narcissism. I think that’s the cause honestly
@@MS-uj5ui Dr. Gabor Mate explains trauma
Why am I still here?
It's 3 am
I've been sitting here for 2 hours already,
losing my mind in the bathroom
Losing my mind to my mental illness,
Searching and searching for answers but all I can find is questions,
Questions and hatred,
That's eupd,
But maybe less of the questions and more of the hatred
God why I am still here?
I can still make it
I cnn still sleep
But I'm addicted to learning about how much of a monster I am,
Addicted to the idea of finally understanding who I am.
All I need to do is stop,
Put in down and go to sleep,
But I won't.
Not until I've hurt myself enough
Not until the knife in every comment finds its mark
Not untill the undertow takes hold and drags me deep into an ocean of guilt, shame and selfhatred on the bathroom floor.
Why here?
Why this disorder?
Why me?
Because I deserve it
Because I was bad
Because I hurt people
Because I'm sick
Because I'm in pain
Because I need help
Because I never wanted this
Because I wanted to be better
Because I tried to tell them
Because I deserved better,
Because we deserved better.
@@MS-uj5ui you are 100% right. It's on the internet too that it's caused by someone with NPD.
Do you guys ever get extreme, and overwhelming emotional highs when with people who you have a crush on to the point you obsess over them?
Yes. I've come to a conclusion that I only obsessed with the idea of them because when I met them I never really want them as a partner and immediately got disgusted
Theirs a book called Letting Go by David R Hawkins. It is very good and would suggest it to anyone, weather they suffer from mental illness or not. He talks about emotions and how we should deal with them to reach the highest feelings of love and peace, and connect back to your true nature. Hope this helps
Yes when I like someone I like only them no one else in my life
Yes, I got to a point where I think I haven't really fallen in love ever in my life. I just jump from one obsession to another. I obsess until I get bored or start devaluating. Recently I got to a point where I'm mostly flat, no intense feelings nor happy or sad, just numb.
Oh and then you find out one thing about them and all of a sudden you're off it
One of the most challenging parts is constantly wracking your brain to figure out if you were at fault in certain situations. When you have bpd it can be easy to just take the fall in all situations, blaming it on your disorder. There are many times where I cut seemingly toxic people off and end up wondering if in reality I was the toxic one.
Days blur together and time feels like its moving too fast. You can't catch a break because you always have to be on your toes in order to try to recognize your triggers in order to create distance from everyone so you can let your emotions lose without having to worry about feeling bad later.
i feel this so very intensely. hope you are well
Ugh I do this all the time . What a freakin headache
I believe the best thing that someone with BPD can do is A) Find hobbies that keep you from overanalyzing (Gym, Music, Sports, Whatever) and B) Become friends with people who are very down to earth and have a strong self of sense identity. This might be difficult for those with a beautifully horrific cocktail of Asperger's, anxiety, fatigue, general hopelessness etc. Hermit internet culture and the aggrandizement of wealthy grind lifestyle sure doesn't help but hey you owe it to yourself. Oh wait, you have a weak sense of self. Hmmm, Idk go find God or something Im sure thats not another dead end road. Maybe just get a girlfriend/boyfriend. Whats that? You can't seem to hold down a relationship? Tough tits. Go join a hippie commune or something idk Im not yalls therapist ok? Maybe your destiny is to be mediocre till you die. That sounds about right. Don't get mad at me im just a passer-by. I may have most of answers but I don't have all the solutions, ok? Go outside, read a book, clean your room, have a brew.
Yea. You were the toxic person the entire time.
Its like I'm trying to get revenge on someone whos long gone, but it comes out on people who remind me
Not knowing who you are, destroying your own hopes and dreams, unable to maintain relationships, unable to feel day to day like everyone else does...this is what it's like.
This literally describes how I been feeling since I remember I went through a lot of trauma and bullying as a kid and I can’t seem to find anything that feels that empty feeling inside me
I went through a period of bullying too and loliness (I had no friends in school for a whole year). And guess whAt? Now I'm 24 years dealing with social anxiety, depression and possible borderline personality disorder. I'm now wasting money doing therapy. I hope those kids (now adults) burn in hell.
"if someone with BPD hurts you, remember.. it's not their fault" - I was diagnosed with MPD/BPD years ago and that's a load of dung. If anyone hurts you in any way, they *are* to be held accountable regardless of circumstance. You can forgive them and even ignore it, but you can't deny that. Having suffered trauma is no pardon for hurting others. Tolerable maybe but excusable no. You can learn from past traumas and let it shape you or you can accept that it happened and vow to never repeat those pains on ourselves or others. I could write a book on what I've endured but I'll just say my experiences have led me down a greater path in life. Instead of wanting to kill myself, I'm going to live for others. Rather than dwell on the past I'll realize I *have* a future. It's taken me over half my life to finally see the silver lining but I believe there is no greater purpose in life than helping others.
100% true, and thank you for saying it AND putting it so well. Sure there’s a bit of give and take but there are very few and extreme circumstance that excuse anyone from behaving maturely, consciously and considerately. Dont let a diagnosis be a Doctors note to stop being a decent person, and never stop trying to be a better version of yourself!
I really like this post, there’s a lot of positivity. I do agree, I think that people should be more understanding with people with BPD, but everyone should be held accountable for their actions.
I know this post is over a month old but I appreciate your words so much❤️❤️❤️. I was in an abusive relationship with someone with severe mental health problems, and I was always told by not just her, but by most of the people around me that I had to just take it because she “couldn’t control herself”. I don’t think she ever even recognized or cared that I was in so much pain. I was later diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and I know that while there are things I’ve done because of my mental health that I’m not proud of, it’s my responsibility to learn from my mistakes and try not to hurt others
I love your comment and agree with everything you said also man
"Rather than dwell on the past I'll realise I have a future" this really made me shiver...
Living for others is a bad idea
I lost my job ,fell into severe depression, lost couple of friends over the years, cut my self and attempted suicide .
After months of trials and errors with medication and the right therapist I'm finally feeling better.not out if the woods yet but definitely better.
I just want to tell anyone who's going through this to get help.
Your darkest moments wont last forever.
I heard that medications have a lot of side effects.... what's your experience ? What have u suffered from?
Thank you...
amin qasim i thought I was the only one this happen to. All I can tell you is thank you.
Me too.
What meds?
I think the fear of abandonment is one of the worst parts of BPD. Even when it's clear someone isn't good for you and they aren't benefitting you in any way, you still stay with them because the thought of being alone drowned out all your thoughts of wanting better and being with someone that's going to uphold your values/morals. You can go as far as having a fully thought-out plan on how you're going to stand up for yourself and end the relationship, but as soon as they decide they want to leave you, all of that goes out the window and you're doing everything to try and get them back no matter how pathetic/sad it makes you look. It's great to understand the reasoning/cause of your problem behaviors, but it doesn't make up for all the hurt you caused and the bridges you burned in the meantime.
Psychologist here. Thanks for the video explaining BPD. A few things I'd like to add. There are more options in treatment than DGT alone. You also have Schema Modi therapy And Mentalisation Based Therapy (MBT). All 3 therapy types can also be given in groups. So people can learn from each other.
Also BPD and addiction problems is common. Also BPD and conplex PTSS is also common.
What are your thoughts on having both PTSD and bpd?
@@tamimbaker92 I'm sorry I think I've missed this comment in my notifications. So I'm a year late now. Maybe your asked advice is no longer needed, but maybe someone will profit. Having a relationship with someone with any mental illness, not just BPD can be rough, but very much doable if the person is accountable for their actions. If you can both talk through the fights and if the person is aware that they have a problem. Goes for the other partner without a classified mental illness too. And if the one who experiences psychiatric problems seeks help. Ultimately you have to choose if you want to be with someone who is as they are at this moment in time. Hoping that they change for the better, but not expecting it or demanding it. If you can be with that person now, then be with that person. If not, then dont be with them.
@@bridgettawinchester3063 I'm not sure I understand the question. BPD like many other personality problems mostly develop when caregivers are emotionally neglecting or abusing. In those environments situations like physical abuse and sensual abuse tend to be more common.
PTSD develops when someone experiences something life threatening and can't work through those overwhelming emotional experiences. PTSD happens in healthy adults when they get robbed, experience a natural disaster, etc.
So then you have a child who is emotionally and physically abused, continously feels their life is threatened by someone who is supposed to love them. You can then develop what we call complex PTSD. It's complex because the people who hurt them, are the people that should have loved them. Does this answer your question?
I can’t stand having this I don’t know who I am and feel like I’m second best to everyone I have to be the best .. I hate being alone but can’t relate to anyone then push them away
This sucks especially lookin in the mirror and you don’t know who ur seeing in there..
Right? It's hell.
I totally recognise those feelings of not knowing who you are or what your purpose is. But it can be better, ‘this too shall pass’. I totally advocate DBT. It can change your world 🌍. E
Keep Fighting queen 💪
@@jkuhede simp
It is living hell. It is impossible to have stable relationships with anyone
mnyama ashiki yep maybe with other bpd ppl? At least they understand...
Yeah thats true. That's why I don't bother trying. Its hard because you feel so disconnected from everything
Evan Paluch no no nooo. that is a recipe for disaster
I agree. This disorder is vile
BPD has a awful stigma.to the keyboard warriors know your facts.i watched the film joker, cruel people that bully people with mental health issues. They want to be careful or they just might get it.
Im diagnosed with bpd, Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 soon 5 years (he dose not have bpd) everyday he tells me he loves me and he want me to be his forever, sure having bpd in a relationship can be difficult sometimes but all relationship can be difficult no matter if you have bpd or not,
It didnt matter to my boyfriend as soon as we starting talking openly about all the good, bad, complicated issues we face individually (we all no matter diagnoses or not, we face problems big and small) and as long as we tell what's going on we will try to understand each other and help each other, even if we dont understand, we will respect it.
What I'm trying to say is ofc you can be in a good relationship when you have bpd. You are not bpd, you have bpd. It's not something you choose. But find someone who understands that bpd is NOT Who you are, but something you have, and let them love you for who you are behind your diagnose.
I love how everyone is so open about it in no other way but than to have hope to help another soul.
This is a beautiful thing about this illness, we can al come together for each other.
I just want you all to know this…You are all amazing and gorgeous worthwhile souls. Never give up being your true authentic self. We got this…together we can!! Xoxo Blessed be!
I don't know much about BPD but from what it sounds like, the symptoms really match closely what I'm dealing with in many ways. I may not "act" on my impulses a lot, but I tend to have very intense emotions yet always feel empty and lonely inside, despite everything going well. When I fall in love, it's an obsession. When someone says something the wrong way, I fear that they will abandon me or don't like me. I feel a constant urge to try to negate any sort of negative feelings people could have about me or even just my ideas. I guess in that way you could say I'm impulsive.
Something that struck me about these symptoms was the wavering identity part. It never feels like I know who I am. Sometimes I'm feeling extremely happy and smiling, next day I'm depressed for no reason other than a small inconvenience
For me the hardest part about having BPD is that I say things I don’t mean and really hurt the people trying to love me (usually partners) I’m not physically abusive and I have more empathy than most people… but when the mood swing comes it is powerful and I still haven’t found a way to pacify it.
Try DBT. It is created for BPD.
@Flow State Chocolate there is no “cure” for bpd, there are ways to help you manage it. It can get better, but it’s not like a disease where medicine makes it go away, you can’t rewire the way the brain has become from trauma, you can only learn how to work around the way you have been wired.
@@SophiOnYt thats sad😭😢
Have a look on videos and articles about meditation and neuroplasticity. During the pandémic i graduated in neurociencia yoga. And it is amazing!!!! Check serious cientists
How would you know that you have more empathy than most people? You may have cognitive empathy, but if you hurt other people for any reason whatsoever then that's a pretty clear indicator that you don't have much, if any, emotional empathy.
Does anyone else literally only lose energy from interacting with anyone? No matter how well a social interaction goes, it haunts me for days. It's so bad, I've literally hidden outside of my house waiting for my boyfriend's guests to leave without seeing me. Maybe that's a whole other issue with me outside of BPD and working through these symptoms lol.
Theirs a book called Letting Go by David R Hawkins. It is very good and would suggest it to anyone, weather they suffer from mental illness or not. He talks about emotions and how we should deal with them to reach the highest feelings of love and peace, and connect back to your true nature. Hope this helps
I have this. I say it's social anxiety but I don't believe it is. I do this I think to avoid that cycle of shame for a simple conversation. Always thinking I did or said something wrong for days. I don't want to torment myself so I avoid what causes it.
I'm diagnosed BPD but unsure if this relates or is just the anxiety. You're not alone lol
ME
Yes. Once we have company over, in like 15-20 minutes of them walking through the door, or after eating, I have to get away to be by myself. It's so very draining.
It sounds like autism to me, honestly. (My husband, myself, and two daughters are all on the spectrum. People are incredibly draining for us.) We never answer the door if we can help it, and at church, we get there as late as we can and are the first ones to leave.
Emotional disregulation, derealization and chronic feeling of emptiness are the worst for me. Mood swings were really bad some years ago. I thought I had an anxiety disorder but I found out panic attacks were just a symptom of BPD. Knowing my diagnosis really changed my life. Sometimes it's hard because you feel you have to be careful about telling other people it, or just face the stigma around mental health in general. But other days I know that therapy is helping me so much, things are going well and I'm grateful to myself for all the effort. Having some really good friends and partner also made it all easier, fortunately I've never been pushed away for my behavior. If you feel helpless remember that things can get better, that pain is temporary, that you deserve to love and being loved. Meanwhile, if you are struggling being with someone with this disorder, take care of yourself, set your limits and try to be clear about how you feel and what you need, there's nothing to be ashamed of.
I'm so glad that I have people who relate to me, i thought no one ever would and I thought It was impossible. With my hatred, emptiness and just mashed up emotions. I hate it when i Blame people who did nothing or obsess over someone too much, it's absolute hell.
the past years i purposely didn’t make new friends and take distance with everyone i was talking or hanging out at that time...i’m honestly so afraid of hurting people that i just should spend my life alone, it’s quite lonely but at least i don’t have guilt for ruining every relationship i’m in
We are so similar in that sense
Theirs a book called Letting Go by David R Hawkins. It is very good and would suggest it to anyone, weather they suffer from mental illness or not. He talks about emotions and how we should deal with them to reach the highest feelings of love and peace, and connect back to your true nature. Hope this helps
I’ve been diagnosed with BD. But BPD seems to make more sense in my life style. I have an extreme fear of abandonment so in turn I isolate myself from everyone who cares for me. I have paranoia that people have other plans to ruin my life intentionally when it’s not true. If something goes wrong, I go to the extreme of emotional distress and carry out reckless actions such as leaving work mid shift over a pity argument and drive four hours out of town. Then feel sorry and drive all the way back realizing all the efforts of anger was a waste. I would go through phases of blocking everyone on my phone and do it for weeks or months all because of one person. I have these thought of suicide and come to realization that’s what I don’t want. I’ve gone back and forth of emotionally abusing people I love. I don’t mean to. I just want to live a normal life and not feel like everything wants to destroy me to make me retaliate. I am an extremely emotional person and react to the smallest of things. I keep pushing loved ones away and I hate myself for it. I just want to be happy. I’m sorry.
❤️
big same
Same dude.
I feel you
I read this whole thing because someone finally understands .. You’re not alone .
The love of my life has BPD, before I was aware of it our relationship suffered.Now I am studying it so I can be there for her as much as possible our relationship I feel has never been healthier if you’re struggling with someone you love due to this illness and you’re reading my comment you’re on the right path…you’ll still have some ups and downs but soon enough you’ll be more understanding. I wouldn’t change my love for this person for anything or anyone also if you have BPD you’re awesome,interesting beautiful,important and most importantly loved ❤️
19/12/12
KLL❤ 🌎
thank you for not stigmatizing our disorder and learning about it
I fought my diagnosis at first because every depiction of BPD is so stigmatized in media. But now I have to accept and understand myself more. It manifests differently in people but at the core we just need to be around patient people and most of all be patient and kind or ourselves, because we didn’t want to be this way. It can be hard when you feel unsure of yourself and how you stand with others but I’m glad we live in time where we can at least find communities of people online to open up to.
Thought that I was normal, but always feel that something is off in me.
And it is terrible.
I feel the same way, just a little bit of thinking and curious research brought me here... I'm considering talking to my doctor about it. Hope you find answers too.
Same.
I work with someone with BPD. We see each other more often then we see anyone else in our lives, and I have witnessed a LOT of emotional ups and downs. She might come in in a great, talkative mood, go to break, and suddenly she’s more angry and snippy than anyone I’ve ever met. Afterwards, she typically recognizes that she was being very rude (and often very mean and aggressive) and apologizes.
I know it’s the disorder that causes these crazy shifts in mood, but quite frankly, I’m exhausted with trying to keep up with where she’s at. She’ll yell at me for an extremely minor error, or not say anything if I make a huge mistake. I try not to say anything that’ll trigger her, but then she’ll yell at me for not talking.
TLDR: BPD sucks, whether you have it, or someone you care about does.
This makes me so sad. I know it’s hard for you and the other person.
You just explained my life at work. I still have to apologise to a co-worker for acting this way.
Well I give you guys a lot of credit for being so understanding because I've had coworkers who purposely would set me off.. they would constantly push my buttons and manipulate situations to the point that I felt like I was losing my mind and would end up quitting jobs that I worked very hard at getting and absolutely loved otherwise. Two women I worked with who were older than me actually made me become paranoid because they talked about slipping things into my drink 😓 so I used to put duct tape around the lid of my drinks and walk around with it in my hand all day.
They don't know the mental torment that they caused me on a daily basis.. well, I think they did know but actually got enjoyment out of it.
I still feel very hurt, bitter and angry over those people pushing me to that point.. I still carry a lot of those fears and feel as though I've always worked with Narcissists. Lucky me.
@wayves
Just try to keep soldiering on. It's tough, just being human in general, even without a mental illness.
I work with someone who behaves exactly like this and I think has undiagnosed BPD. We used to be friends but now she is confrontational and aggressive to me. I find it very hard to deal with.
Thank you for this brief introduction. It has been invaluable.
My girlfriend and the mother of my 2 children was just diagnosed and this really helped me to understand so much more clearly thank you
you wanna know what it's like? it's liking living a nightmare.
@@emilranfors4540 unfortunatrly many people with mental issues/disorders get to realize then/or the fact that something isnt right only after some not so nice events. For me was the breakup.
But if someone knows theit BPD iseue and talk about it to potential partner in beginning, things will go more planned
its worse for everyone around them.
@Accuser/Opposer Smh, r u ligit serious?
You left out great empathy, ability to read people's emotions and being very detail orientated.
These are very strong and often positive for myself but the rest you mentioned are not. Not for anyone. Also the many cross and sub types of bpd and the fact that bpd usually co exists with high anxiety which is also another kind of hell.
maybe its because we shouldn't glorify it. it ain't pretty and the bad outweighs the good. yikes dude.
silenthillstrangler great apathy*
silenthillstrangler I wouldnt necessarily say that we can read other people’s emotions well. People with BPD usually misinterpret people’s comments as negative, even if they were said in a positive tone.
Well yeah BPD is negative and bad to have. That's why it's called a personality disorder.
it’s not that you read others emotions, it’s that you understand what they feel but you can’t feel them
My ex was really into learning mental health because she had PTSD and depression. For years I helped her through everything only for her to distance herself from me, quietly, and began cheating on me. Telling me horrible things, even at the risk of me hurting myself. Eventually I broke and she became someone I hated. I lost my life and ended up going to jail. Facing even worse things now. Point is, sometimes I still think back to her and I get really upset and disappointed that some people can be so aware of their own mental health issues, but be so careless towards others who have them. If I could have just had a second to breathe, or a small hand of support, I truly believe I wouldn't have fallen so far. Good luck to anyone with bipolar or BPD.
For years now I’ve been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and today I was diagnosed with BPD I cried because it explains why I’ve done some of the things I have done, and it explains the constant unstable relationships I’ve had because of the anger and hatred I carry towards people when 1 thing goes wrong.
The feeling of trying to fill an empty void , but not knowing what to fill it with. I question my existence, am I real? Whats the purpose of me being here? Not in a suicidal way, but I genuinely question and wonder. It feels like daily, I just go through the motions of life, but never actually feel “alive”. Going through traumatic events early on in my child hood & in my adolescence, having very vivid memories of situations that shaped and formed my way of thinking. I keep all my thoughts to myself, because when I try to explain & expand on my thoughts to others, they have no clue what the hell im taking about, Like I’m talking a different language. I see myself as an extremely logical, fair, & fairly intelligent person. But for some reason, I can never fully execute on my planned out strategies; wether in business, life, self care & etc ,due to a self implemented distraction or thought or barrier that i placed myself. I never knew that what I felt had an actual diagnostic. Borderline Personality Disorder. The fact that I know there’s an actual name for this, makes me feel better, to actually know why it is that I feel and think the way I do. I feel like my train of thought is never ending.
This is almost exactly the way i feel
Don't self diagnose. Ask a doctor
I feel exactly like that. But I was this year diagnosed with ADHD .
Theirs a book called Letting Go by David R Hawkins. It is very good and would suggest it to anyone, weather they suffer from mental illness or not. He talks about emotions and how we should deal with them to reach the highest feelings of love and peace, and connect back to your true nature. Hope this helps
omg this is exactly how i feel!
This is exactly how I feel... I lash out easily, like a month ago, I yelled at my teacher because she accused me of cheating. after that, I felt guilty. I get irritable around those I love. in a span of an hour, I'm happy, sad, empty, angry. I just... its so so hard, considering I cant even get myself a therapist. My parents are self centered and they dont believe in mental illnesses... I dont know what to do, I feel like I'm slowly dying.
I'm so sorry to hear that. One day you'll get the help you deserve and be happy. Stay strong ❤
@@IsabellyButton thanks for the support! 🖤 I feel much better now because I write books and am able to control my emotions.
@@Merakicrochets I'm so happy to hear that! That's so great. You'll definitely continue to get better and better. 😁
I would do that too, except id actually cheat and be genuinely mad when caught.
Grow tf up and control yourself instead of yelling at your teacher like a child deal with your problems like an adult.
I just found out I have this condition, it explains a lot of my life experiences and how I act in my current relationship. It’s always hard for the favorite person but my favorite person is the best person in the entire world for understanding my condition. But that doesn’t mean you can continue on this course of harm. Seeking help with people who are experienced with BPD is the best course of action.
I have BPD and i can say that it is very tough to live with. Thanks to God and all those on my side, I have been able to conquer it for the most part. DBT is EXTREMELY important for BPD, and it is important to inform and explain to your partner what it is so you can set boundaries. It is very possible for people with BPD to love and have healthy relationships, if they are treated. It is a very scary mental health disorder, but I am happy to say that there are also many positives that come with it. BPDs are selfless and people pleasers. People like to be around us a lot and we get enjoyment out of making others happy! While we may feel like we are dying on the inside sometimes, it is important to recognize all the good that comes with it!! Also, it is vital to remember that BPDs often don’t mean the things they say or do. We posses what are called “cognitive distortions” which change our perception of reality and make us paranoid. Often times we look back and say “man I was really overreacting”, once we snap out of our episodes. There is always truth behind our emotions, but sometimes they get caught up and tangled. Have faith those who think they might or do have BPD!!! God loves you and your going to turn out fine if you get the help you need!!!❤
I am 17 years old and I have BPD. Because of this I don’t have any close friend. Even if so, both of us would be painful. I am now determined to be lonely until I die, which will be happening soon.
You will find love one day. It will happen when you least expect it. Be your true self. There will be many wonderful things that will happen to you. Do things that make you happy.
For the people feeling alone and strange, you r not alone. A lot of people struggle with this, we'll go through this.
Sometimes I feel like I’m alone and I deserve to feel this way because something’s wrong with me, I’m glad I have my parents to help
Yes one depression lecturer said who deals with depression and anxiety literally everybody some folks just feel more free to discuss it than others
thanks
It's extremely hard having a parent with BPD. It's even harder when they don't care enough about others to get or accept help.
100% - I only realized my mom has BPD a few years ago. She’s never been diagnosed, but this is 100% her. I’m an only child and nobody understands how strange it is dealing with a BPD parent.
As a person who has BPD, it isn't that they don't care about others enough to get or accept help. It's that they don't feel they are worthy of or can be helped. For most of us, we've felt rejected most of our lives for how we are. Whether that rejection is real or perceived, it is still very real to us in our minds. And that's where we live most of the time. I have three children and, despite my constant battle to identify and control my episodes, I feel extremely guilty for what my children have endured. This isn't about you. It isn't that your parent doesn't care. I promise.
@@missmisplaced4761 Don't victimize people with BPD
I'm sorry to have to be writing this, but I have BPD and I've never hurt anyone, mentally or physically. What your comment implies is that you've hurt your children. The commenter is right in speaking about themselves and their experiences. Your comment downplays the commenter's experiences, and I'm not okay with that. While I have BPD, I also had a BPD father who was an abusive pile of dung. It doesn't matter if he cares about me or not, what matters is that he messed me up when I was a child, and I'm not going to forgive him for that
@@chipso.4750 This isn't a matter of victimizing people with BPD and I'm sorry you interpret it that way. It is not a matter of downplaying anyone's experiences. I'm simply offering the possibility that their parent not reaching out for help may not be because they do not care about their children. And your father's actions may have less to do with his BPD and more to do with the fact that he was just a shit parent. I had a couple of shit parents as well and they did not have BPD.
As for my own children, every good parent is going to feel they could have done better or been better for their children. Being a mom with BPD doesn't mean I've hurt my children. It does mean they've seen me suffer through it though and I did not want that for them.
The post that I responded to did not say their parent was horrible to them. They said it's hard to have a parent who will not seek or accept help and they attributed that to their parent not caring about others. I simply pointed out that people with BPD often do not feel they can be helped or deserve it. I believe you are projecting too much of your own experience and then taking offense when it isn't warranted. What happened to you was horrible and I understand your inability to forgive because of it. Often, BPD is the result of childhood trauma. Fortunately, not a single one of my children would consider me anything less than wonderful. I just don't agree with them because I wanted to be better for them.
@@chipso.4750 people with bpd have most definitely hurt others and this is the part they don't understand...it may not be intentional but it most definitely has happened and even trying to explain it people with bpd get defensive like this comment....take a look at the life of someone with bpd and ask why certain people don't come around anymore.
Recently diagnosed with BPD , still trying to wrap my head around what exactly it is I'm dealing with , trying to explain to loved ones is even more of a struggle. Thank you for putting it simply so I may better explain to them one day.
I have so much trouble with boundaries and enmeshment. Now that I've been practicing mindfulness and am aware of my co-dependent, impulsive relationships, I'm excessively cautious and never know when to advance a relationship or be neutral or back off. I used to have a really bad habit of just instantly being best friends with someone I just met and that either scares the person off or devolves into something toxic, ending up leaving me feeling completely self-destructive and like everyone hates me (even though I know that's not true).
My mom has BPD, learning more about the disorder has helped me have more compassion for her. Growing up not knowing why the way she was, was very hard.
That's one of the main reason I don't want to have kids. I don't want to throw them in this hell. Life is too hard and with BPD is a hell. Somedays I can't deal with myself.
:(
@@shisedoll you can completely recover from bpd and have healthy relationships and live a fullfilling and happy life. Check out AJ Mahari’s channel. She fully recovered and helps pwbpd and people who struggle with codependency.
@@shisedoll literally
I always thought everyone felt emotions as deeply as I do
Me too.
Until I started getting called names like: Crazy, too sensitive, too emotional, weird, childish, delusional.
I've got BPD and sometimes I act insane in episodes only then to regret everything I've done. The worse part is the guilt of harming other either verbally or physically. In one episode I would threaten to hurt people. I went as far as ripping my moms nieces (6 year old) bracelet. I was so remorseful that I cried for hours after I did that. You feel extremely angry, easily irritated. Never happy. Then when you return to 'sanity' you realise the actions you've done impulsively. The part I'm most afraid of is self harming myself or others.
Reach out to the name on my channel 👆 ...he helped me recover from BPD
ok this video made me really concerned about myself and made me reconsider visiting a psychiatric hospital sooner than i thought, thanks and stay safe
Better be safe than sorry. My diagnose from 2019
I copied other people's sadness , depressions , anxieties and their life styles . I don't like talking with people . I like staying alone . When I feel happy , and one minute later , it turn into sadness , madness , anger , and ect ., it's never easy to say .
I feel as though I show a lot of traits of BPD but I'm unsure whether it's just depression and my past experiences
Sophie Mather feel
We all experience those traits to some degree. It's possible it you may have BPD if those traits are negatively affecting your life. Don't self diagnose. See a professional to see if you actually have it.
You are what you wanna says the determined mind. If you are crazy and theres no self control then yea otherwise no.
Me wtf
Emil Ranfors Fuck you
I was just diagnosed with it and learning about this makes everything I ever questioned make so mutch more sense , I feel crazy , I get soooo happy then it spikes and I get so so sad . I thought I had bipolar but it turned out it was this . I’m trying to get help now to break a lot of the destructive habits I’ve had
My partner has BPD. I’m uneducated on a number of mental health issues so this has really helped me to understand more
6 years in from my diagnosis and I have been stable to a degree for a couple years now after medications and a long intense DBT program. I've got to say I felt like I was a hopeless cause and could NEVER imagine how am I now. Know your triggers and self reflect when you can. You will regress at times, and some times some traits never leave you, you learn to accept them and remember the techniques you are told in therapy. As time goes on you become stronger. I couldn't work, had countless suicide attempts, and now Im a full time student nurse thriving. It's so important to be okay with some of the traits you may be left with, accept who you are and control the things you can and let go of the things you can't. YOU CAN DO IT
does medication help dealing with this disorder??
Wanna know bcuz my sister is just diagnosed and i am asking can she live a normal life with this or not??
Hope you are doing well
@@IdkIdk-gw3qo she can absolutely live a normal life! It takes hard work, medications help for some people and others not her doctor will be the best person to speak to about that :) I know plenty of people with BPD that function well and work and most you would never know! It's like every other person you would be surprised what people carry underneath. Knowing triggers is key, and being able to identify when you're having an "episode" is also so important because then you can try the things you learn in therapy to calm down, rather than realising after you've done something stupid that "Oh that was a BPD episode" because the guilt is horrible. The beginning is tough but it gets easier
I’m in remission from BPD I believe. But I’ll never sink so low as to work for someone else. I’m going to be my own boss while staying on my disability checks. Ain’t no way I’ll ever trust another workplace nor career with people ever again.
@@AnnalieseMazzuchelli fuck you. You’ve clearly never had BPD. People with BPD can’t work normal jobs. I’m living proof!!!
@@Lola_Nico well I’m living proof that you can lol
My sister has been diagnosed with this, and I’m always trying to understand her better. Over the years I have learned that our relationship is better now that I don’t live with her. She was always mad at me for things that I didn’t understand, and treated me really bad sometimes. It was a difficult environment, never really knowing when she was in the mood or not. But I get that she doesn’t know herself well either, and is difficult for her too.
I love her, and I will always be there for her, but I have to take care of my anxiety disorder and depression too. I really need a stable and safe environment, so I have to stay away from her sometimes. But with all that, we are like best friends. She is there for me, and I’m there for her. The things that helps out the most in our relationship are honesty, talking things, and not judging each other. When she’s not in the mood I have to stay away from her, because I can’t deal with how she treats me, but then I come back to help her. I know she can be toxic in a way for me, but is not her fault.
If you have been diagnosed with this, I’m 100% percent sure that there will always be someone that accepts you, and will love you no matter what. You are not alone 🖤 (sorry for my bad english)
It’s important that you take care of you first and you are also here for her. You’re a very good sister
This is literally my life with my sister and I’m beginning to this she may have bpd, which I’m not going to diagnose myself but it sums her up. I used to think she was evil because of the way she treats me and others but i also knew she had a good heart. I just want her to get the help she needs, so it won’t end up ruining our relationship…
Very similar to my relationship with my sister too
Thank you for this video it helped me understand a lot I have BPD PTSD and social anxiety disorder I hope anyone else who may be suffering from this or other things recovers soon love you all stay safe ❤️💯
It's very common for people with BPD to have other disorders tied in, hope you are doing well, much love.
This best describes what’s going on with me the last 7 Years. It’s like I have been running on a hamster wheel. I’m hooked on someone who I honestly can’t stand and I feel like this person triggers all the negative shit that’s in me especially an aggressive reaction to her gaslighting and degrading comments about me the resentment I have built up throughout the years towards her and myself for not respecting and loving me. The craziest thing is that the moment she begins to reject for me for whatever reason I feel like my entire world is falling apart. WTF? I need to really this and looking up these videos and reading about other peoples issues make me feel like I’m not alone and I can overcome this internal chaos and snap out of this toxic relationship. Thanks!
Everything changed when I was diagnosed with BPD, even though I knew it changed nothing at all. I suddenly see myself as the monster, in contrast to how I have always seen it. I feel like it's someone telling me, hey, you are actually the a**hole, and all those people who have hurt you in your life have been on the good side, and you are the bad side itself. It was never their fault, but yours.
And that's why I know I need help. Because I cannot live always feeling like the monster.
This is the black and white thinking, though. You’re not a monster. Some people in your life may have truly done awful, unforgivable things to you. But you’re also not perfect either. In short, you’re human. Learning to hold the good and the bad parts of me together through self compassion has changed my life. Sending love to you ❤️
I fell in love with a girl who I highly suspect has bpd. She used to say to me “I just feel... so empty” and definitely checks more than five of the nine criteria required, to confirm a diagnosis. She’s completely unaware she has this.
She had a turbulent upbringing with her father in and out of her life, then completely absent from when she was 12.
She broke my heart :(
Music - The Voice Of The Soul sheesh 💔 I don’t even know you but that hurts me. hopefully for your sake you forgive her or find closure even If it’s with yourself or possibly her.
at least she responded- the mother of my child just stares into space with a soulless look most of the time when I bring up something about her mood swings or lack of affection etc...either that or she throws a low key tantrum n shuts down or lashes back at me , even when I address it in a nice manner
@@therealflamelit you gotta get outta that
Fuk dat girl it was ur time/ turn it’s never yours
this just happened to me
Hey guys it’s very comforting to be able to read how all of you feel about having a relationship. I feel the same way. The person im with is very kind, has a big heart, and repeatedly tells me that they love and care for me. Now here’s the problem, I don’t allow myself to believe it. This is why: they grew up and were raised not to show physical affection, and to me displaying affection through touch is everything. Sometimes i just want to hold hands and they don’t want to. I want a hug or some kind of physical show of love, but all they do is show it with their words. And every time i try to leave them they pull me right back in. Now don’t get me wrong, I love them, and they try hard to keep me happy. But i get angry at them for the stupidest things. I over analyze their behavior. I get so jealous when they give anyone else attention. And even though they’ve explained physical affection is hard for them and they try their best it’s still not good enough for me. I know I’m probably the problem, and I’ve tried to let them go so they can move on and find someone stable..yet they stay. But its a war within myself every day. Im always doubtful of their intentions. As i sit here and write this Im debating whether or not i should throw in the towel. And don’t even get me started on the texting. Every time they don’t text back i feel like they’ve moved on or abandoned me. Its such a roller coaster of emotions.
I’m microdosing hoping to get it under control. I didn’t like how the meds made me feel. I accept that this is the way im going to live and im doing my part to make it a life worth living I wish you all the best ❤
Whenever I watch a video like this it always focuses on describing people with BPD as manipulative and aggressive and it’s simply not the be all and end all, I’ve never lashed out at anyone or had angry outbursts. Yes BPD is shitty as hell to live with and has one of the highest mortality rates of mental illnesses, but there’s so much more to it than this aggressive, unpredictable portrait that’s always given for it. No wonder it’s so misinterpreted when this is the only representation. And also, very, very huge dismissal and oversight when talking about DBT, it’s one fucking gruelling therapy that you dedicate over four hours a week to, for nearly a year, and YOU have to work your ass off to try and re-wire the way your brain thinks and works, despite what caused it NOT being your fault. Living with any mental health condition is horrible and so challenging at times, we all need to help raise awareness and share our experiences to bring change. Always remember that your well-being is the priority, you matter, remember to love yourself. From a BPD & PTSD sufferer 🌻
Thank you for pointing this out, I just started treatment for the same things and as I look for more knowledge and a better understanding of what I'm dealing with I keep coming across that kind of depiction of the illness and it's just not the case with me. The anger and rage are present but I keep it internalized.
Yeah, agreed. It requires 5 of 9 possible traits for a diagnosis and angry outbursts are not necessarily universal, fear of abandonment tends to be the most common in those who suffer with BPD not uncontrollable anger. Mental health should be the world's priority, everything else would fall into place as a consequence.
Same. I live with PTSD and BPD. It is hell..
Maggie May
As was my last relationship with someone with BPD.
U r very lucky u dont suffer with angry outbursts. I do and its awful. Ive punched holes in walls n broken many things. But i disassociate while its happening so i cant stop myslf. It is awful.
My wife of 12 years has this. It's difficult but I love her for who she is. It does cause chaos when she gets attached to others like coworkers but I have to maintain a stable self much like a lighthouse on a foggy shore.
Has she had affairs???
@@who346 Oh yah. Might not have stuck it out if she didn't start going to therapy and our newborn son. I'm afraid to leave him in her care. I keep my things separate just in case though, you never know.
@@AltruisticWarrior oh my, to have to live like that every day? stay strong, brother.
"a light house on a foggy shore" that literally brought tears to my eyes thats so beautiful
We need more understanding people like you.
I am now experiencing what having a friend with bpd is like. It is definitely a struggle for the both of us. We are both currently dealing with the effect of him going through liking me and who I am to wanting nothing to do with me. It is difficult but I'm doing my absolute best to be as understanding as possible and not blaming him for it. Even if it is so mentally draining and it hurts me I'm trying to still be here for him.
I say this with care for you, yes! It is absolutely his fault for the way he acted. Having BPD may not be his fault, but his actions ALWAYS are. It IS HIS responsibility to control his actions and get the right tools from trained professionals to do that. No one......for any reason..... Has the space and right to harm someone in any way because of their mental or physical state. Love them, of course, but love yourself enough to draw a firm line on what is not acceptable to you.
Hey there! I have BPD, and I can tell you that his actions are not okay towards you. He may have BPD, but it doesn’t give him a right to hurt you repeatedly.
He needs to get some counselling, and you need to draw a line. If he doesn’t get counselling, then the relationship isn’t going to get better.
I feel you so much for this. Im having exactly this situation right now in the past 3 days. It’s so confusing and draining and so challenging. I have a best friend who I started having feelings for, but his BPD never ever came out intensely like it did now, when we got involved more than friends. It was so minimal before and now when we’re involved more I’m honestly shocked and I feel like I don’t know who this person is anymore. :( And the thing is i care so so much about him, but I’m also asking myself is it really worth it? I’m as well very traumatized from my own life and really struggling and I don’t think I deserve such an intense stress in my life again. :(
I recently was diagnosed with BPD and it explains a lot. Though I am really relieved to know what I have and be able to treat it, I hate knowing that maybe things would have been 100x better if my brain just wasn’t the way it was.
Some people in these comments are literally describing completely different symptoms and claiming it's BPD.
My mother has this. My childhood was incredibly tough.
I’m glad I overcame this. I wasn’t even aware of this until I started working on myself and applying self-awareness.
Okay, I didn’t… but I try to regulate it
I'm 17 now and i got diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolar disorder and BPD six years ago. I'm still on medicines but I have stopped taking my medicine for bi polar and BPD but i feel like the continuous treatment for six years might have helped a lot. Now I can control some of it.