A year ago I decided to study psychology in college because I always wanted to help people in situations similar as mine. One day we were learning about personality disorders and I remember being so shocked at how my teacher told us how if we ever encountered a patient with BPD we should RUN because they can’t be helped and they will try to ruin our lives and of those around them. As a BPD patient myself, this felt awful and it really stuck to me
I am a therapist. This is when I ask, "Are you a therapist that doesn't believe in therapy?" If they fight me, I say, "don't speak for me. I enjoy working with people who have been diagnosed with BPD." Why is it so easy for me to work with them? Because I'm encouraging but challenging, use motivational interviewing, work from THEIR perspective, and don't take their words or behavior personally. I also have met religious people who don't actually believe their religion, medical professionals that don't believe in medicine, and people in recovery who don't actually believe in the 12 Step process.
It seems to me that this person isn’t great at boundaries and isn’t familiar with the protocols. BPD is really difficult for the sufferers because it takes so much work to manage but for a therapist it should be as straightforward as any other disorder.
bpd feels like I’m being emotionally waterboarded (I know what it physically feels like unfortunately and I stand by my comparison)..not quite drowning but definitely not surviving. And all the last minute, panicky, “running out of time” emotions that come with that. It’s just brutal. I’m so tired.
I have been diagnosed with BPD a few days ago. I've spent 25 years of my life not knowing what is wrong with me. This video explains everything so well, and i feel understood.
I'm 16 and was diagnosed a couple months ago during my inpatient stay following assaulting my teacher at school whom I was violently attached to. My school sent me to hospital and I was reviewed admitted from there. I remember at 14 coming across BPD and curiosity having overcome me I did my research and tried getting a diagnosis out of my community CAMHS team but they were reluctant and refused to. Turns out docs were/are uncertain whether to diagnose people below 18 with the disorder, especially a 14 year old ASKING for such a diagnosis. Anyways I've finally found an answer to all my childhood years of idealisation and devaluation and attachment, etc, to peers around me including teachers at school. I specifically remembered at 11-12 this occurred with one of my friends. Each time they were slow to respond or responded in a certain tone I'd break out in anger or passive aggression, etc.
This is by far the most intricately detailed, yet most easy to understand video I’ve seen about this personality disorder. I am a male with BPD and I experience each of these traits to varying degrees. Living with this disorder is like living inside my own personal mental and emotional hell.
Hi, I am a psychitris resident. This video is incredible. It explain the difference between dysphoria mood and depressive mood very simply. It is a very every day clinical accurate difference that change my way of seeing patients. Thanks you, you doing better than many of professeur I met
So glad you found it helpful! That explanation is what finally made the difference between depression and dysphoria click for me, happy to share it with others as well.
I think the explanation is THE best I’ve heard of depression v dysphoria! Overall a very thorough presentation of BPD vs an hour or two spent in a lecture
I have had BPD diagnose in Australia ,I was been told straight away THIS IS UNTREATABLE . Also I am Taiwanese , unfortunately not many people understand about BPD including the medical staffs ... Still feel very very lonely to battle this on my own .. Thank you for sharing this information
You aren't alone but untreatable doesn't mean unmanageable Don't except that this is the way it always will be please. U can manage it u need to seek a better opinion than untreatable thats a mockery who everade you feel that way
This is the first time I've seen anyone say meds aren't good for bpd and thank you! I've been off my meds for over a year, and it was a great first step!
I was nervous watching this- because so often the picture painted isn’t entirely accurate & we’re demonized and invalidated- with stereotypical comments & inaccuracies… but this was accurate- clear- & straightforward. Comprehensive & easy to understand.. I will def be sharing this!
Thank you for finally breaking down BPD in to this relatable and hopeful context. I've been diagnosed for 15 years and anything I've ever read or seen has been dehumanising & makes it seem BPD is a need to manipulate so I've tried to distance myself from the diagnosis as it wasn't what I felt was my true experience. I have made changes over the time, like learning meditation and mindfulness but I still trip up when I'm in moments of mind chaos. I've only experienced joy twice in my life, once when I realised I wasn't just an internal dialogue and then when my daughter was born. But no matter what emotions I experience I always come back to a stagnant feeling of emptiness and despair, even when all around me is calm and safe. I, thankfully have an understanding partner now, who doesn't gaslight me in to extreme behaviours. But even with this support, my mind still resorts back to suicidal and self harm idealisation & I find myself fighting the urge to act out on them, it is only with the desire of not wanting to inflict the pain of doing so on to my partner and children that stops me from acting. Thank you so much for this video.
I fond this helpful on cluster b. I have been diagnosed with BPD, but also various other diagnoses, and I question the diagnosis. th-cam.com/users/clipUgkxqU-eIRBhvbzO6wOYFb5WMZStxJiqpfea
I was diagnosed with BPD in 2018, after several hospitalizations and suicide attempts. This video is 100% on point! Thank you! There is a video I can show people now.
I found this video during an episode, as i tend to research bpd as a way to remind myself that i'm not alone in feeling this awful all the time, and this video genuinely has the best information on bpd i have ever come across in my opinion, as someone with bpd and specifically quiet bpd. i'm so thankful for this video and that it covered the wide and deep range of bpd.
You know, I just recently learned of my diagnosis by accident at a crisis center I was in this past weekend. I only want to say that I’ve been in over 30 hospitals, inpatient and outpatient places, and if I had been told this was what happened in my brain I would have found solace in my madness.
I recently found out I had BPD by accident too. I needed my intake papers which were written nearly 10 years ago and BPD was the first thing they wrote as a diagnosis!! Why wouldn’t they tell me!? Now that I’m aware what is going on with my head, I have a baseline on who I am and why I do the things I do. I have been so discouraged all my life thinking no one understands what I’m going though not even my dr. At my dr, I act like I’m ok just so my dr doesn’t send me to hospital or up my dose. Had I known this, I would have been able to understand and help myself.
@@melissaaknudsen9536 wishing you well. I'm glad your found it. I have been diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety. It all makes sense. I see it be now though.
I dont think I wouldve been told if I hadnt asked my psychiatrist to evaluate me for it directly. I even have it in my PCP files now but when they print my problems sheet when I go it NEVER says BPD. It lists ADHD Anxiety/Depression
I’m currently in tears after my new doc just said it. I’ve had countless appointments, assessments, therapy- today I found out I might not be mad, there’s a name, and I’m not alone. I wish I knew sooner, but I’m glad now.
My whole life was some sort of "diagnosis" . It started with ADHD at 5 and then bi polar/bdp in my teens. Honestly my home life was dysfunctional and they constantly were putting me on meds that I think made things much worse. I'm 42 now and I haven't been on meds in years and I am learning to try and stay calm when I feel myself getting upset. Also who I surround myself with makes a huge difference in my mood. And medical marijuana has been very beneficial.
mate ... weed is the only thing that makes me have a baseline of emotion i have had a diagnoses of BPD since my early 20's and people try to say its the weed doing it when they dont understand without it its so much worse
omg yes, my quality of life has improved so much since i started smoking weed! over the many years ive tried pretty much every psych med and none of them had any significant effect and most had detrimental side effects... and then i smoked weed and started being able to enjoy things on my own somewhat often instead of always being stuck feeling empty when im alone and like im just waiting for someone to come alone to help me.
@@maryboyce5129 so can going to the grocery store. Marijuana is the ONLY thing that has ever helped my BPD,my Fragile X Syndrome or my CPTSD. Weed has literally saved my life.
My daughter has BPD. I have came to my OWN definition of this disorder. I feel that it comes from being abandoned or the idea of being abandoned during the age that personality develops. (Betwee. 2-5) For my daughter my parents took her from me and I had to fight for over 6 months to get her back. I was taking a nap when she was and my dad who was a police officer decided to come in and take her and I was reported to child services. But they seen it as a police officer calling in not her over bearing controlling grandparents. Any ways during that time my mother would tell her any time I stopped that I was mean mean mommy and I was going to take her from her toys and her gma. So she would have felt abandoned by me at this time. Then when I got her back she would have experienced that all over again feeling abandoned by my parents. This sets into their personality this constant fear and need to protect themselves from any perceived danger real or otherwise. Whether it's manipulation and lies or stunts for attention to disasociating those actions are all used as a form of self protection. Usually to prevent someone from leaving them. This is my definition of this disorder. I am a nurse and have some mental health background but I am no where near a professional in this area. However my daughter is now 24 and I have spent the better part of her life researching and Journaling her behaviors and trying to understand things from her point of view, as well as connecting the outbursts with a causal link. She has been on mood stabilizers and in DBT therapy now since she was 18. She still has moments every once in awhile but over all she can catch herself and keep herself grounded. I hope my daughter's story can help someone else that is suffering from this be it family or personal experience. This is a VERY hard disorder to have. I wish you all the luck
I completely agree with you. I believe most of it comes from the trauma of the feeling of abandonment. Childhood trauma is a huuuuuuge factor in most of how we are later on life and the disorders we get. I’m currently in the middle of discovering a loved one’s trauma and how to help them. I find Gabor Maté to be so insightful and helpful. Check him out if u can. He is a doctor who specializes in childhood trauma and abandonment. Finally, good luck to you and your daughter and I’m so sorry that happened to her. 🙏
You might not see this but i have a question, im to scared to ask my mom or my doctor for a test to get a diagnosis on bpd. I feel i may have it but im to scared to ask. So idk what to do, like do i ask or just forget abt it ?
@@staarbloom talk to your mom about your struggles and ask to see a therapist if you aren’t already. tell them your concern and describe your feelings the best you can. don’t be afraid to tell them how you feel because you are so important and deserve to be heard💗
it's so hard to live with this disorder because you can't escape the thoughts and emotions that control you. and if you engage in risky behaviors to escape them, it just spirals you into a worse and worse mental state that fuels emotional outbursts and episodes. trying to get on treatment is so hard, and it feels as if you are rejected and left to struggle and cope yourself. I was on a mood stabilizer for MDD, and medications usually do not help with certain aspects of BPD. i want to better myself, and i'm taking action to get on treatment, but the cycle is so vicious...
I am a 27 year old male who has been diagnosed with BPD twice in psychiatric hospitals. I didn’t receive my diagnosis until I was barely 26. It explained a lot, but also didn’t help. I always thought I was depressed and had good days and bad, not realizing I was having drastic changes in mood and temper multiple times in a week. It was fine for a while, when I became Catholic, and was asked to run our Latin Mass program, because I was the only one around who could read Latin fluently. But as time when on, the obsession I had with perfection, the fact that my entire personality and interests were consumed by the liturgy, freaked the priests out, and I was asked to step aside. Well, the rest is history. Now my sole preoccupation is drinking, and dwelling on my paranoid thoughts that everyone is individually planning on disowning me at any moment, that I will be fired for any reason, or because of lies told about me. And my reaction to each of these is just, whatever, I’m not worth the trouble to be around or help anyway. The only way I learned to cope on my own as a kid and young man was to shut my mouth and bottle it inside. I learned that lashing out was harmful to the ones I was *desperately* attached to. However, with alcohol, my ability to suppress and compress my anger is basically gone. I am very sensitive to the slight intonations of people’s responses to my questions or opinions, and will often fly into a rage when I find their responses “ludicrous” (my favorite word), breaking things, hitting myself in the head, etc.
I want you to recover in a heathy way, and understand your diagnose in a less tragic and so paranoid way. More drink will harm your ability. You are more than your crazyness and your drinking , god bless you understand this and find the right terapeut. Perhaps against depression, there are some free and good doctors online TH-cam too. With a humanistic approach not so much shaming you in a sane place, is it possible?
DBT should be taught in school. Put it in health class or something. It’s a good baseline for anyone to understand and express their own emotions in a healthy way.
This is the best explanation and information on BPD that I have seen. I wish a had encountered it sooner. My daughter suffered from BPD, with her earliest symptoms in her early teens. She felt hopeless and trapped. I couldn’t help much, even though I tried and tried, other than trying to keep her compliant with her 7(!!) meds. As it turns out, that may not have been the best action. She eventually spiraled into illicit drugs and died of fentanyl poisoning. One of the drugs she took was laced with it. I wish I knew all of this before.
I was wrongly diagnosed with bpd at 28. Ten years later I was diagnosed with ADHD, then four years after that with autism. When screening for bpd please be mindful of posdible developmental disorders. The socalled social autism profile, high intelligence, and learned rationalization of behaviors can mask attention deficits, sensory issues, and other signs of ADHD and autism. Just putting it here hoping as many as possible get the right diagnosis, help, and self understanding first time around ❤
this is the most helpful video i have ever seen and i dont think im splitting here XD ive started watching bpd videos sometimes when i feel like cutting and most were not helpful... this video was incredibly helpful! i was always hoping to glean some bits of info to help me understand my feelings and identity better and this video gave me everything i could possibly hope for! i took a page full of notes lol. Thank you so much! a few months ago i got a new psychiatrist who wanted to go over my diagnoses with me and one of them was BPD and i had no idea. apparently ive had the BPD diagnosis for years and no one told me, in fact they were avoiding telling me... that blows my mind. since finding out, i feel like my perspective has shifted sooooo far and my quality of life improved a lot with it and now i feel like i have a framework for making and reaching goals instead of just feeling like everything is hopeless and life will never improve and to also be able to identify splitting behaviors before destroying my relationships. now i really want to send this video to everyone i know but i am terrified thinking that no one will care and people will stop talking to me and that i'll start to hate everyone that doesnt give me attention about it 😅
I'm married to a Bpd woman. I lost interest a while ago about fully understanding this disorder from a science perspective like reading literature about it or online or even watch big shots like Peterson talk about it cause they all lack something and to be honest didn't intrigue me cause let's b honest they are very complex human beings ( BPD), no offense at all here i love my wife, and the interpretation of the reasons behind their symptoms didn't click with what im actually experiencing. Your perceptional interpretation is really exceptionally close to the truth specifically the dysphoria and what's the nature and reasons behind it. The nature of tremendous impulsivity and it's reasons and the mechanism behind it. Impressive I usually do not like to subscribe a lot on YT but in your case that wouldn't be fair. Thank you!!
hi, as a bpd woman with a VERY understanding boyfriend, i want to thank you and everyone like you who genuinely care and support us. i know its indescribably hard to deal with someone who has bpd. we appreciate all the love we can get, even if we're not great at showing it.
@@Lwoods1717 Wish my wife knew how tough the ride is like yourself. I think everyone is sick in his own ways. I have depression, ocd and anxiety too. I wish you good luck and by keeping up this attitude, you’ll definitely get better.
My wife also has BPD...I struggle at times, I feel she hates me the majority of the time. Like HATRED. She says she does love me but I get confused and feel I am disappointing her all the time, I am learning more about BPD and empathize with her.
@@Danchez226 Don’t let her mood get to you. At times you wil feel loved and other times she will make you feel as if you’re her sole enemy. This SPLIT was the hardest but a certain medication helped a lot in this area. I can not judge whether she loves you or not but the manipulation is on another level so take care and always support until you truly feel otherwise.
Wow, your knowledge amazing. Differently Americans are better at everything. We never learned this type of deep insight learning in the UK 🇬🇧. Thank you man and keep up the good work. I'm psychiatric nurse.
I want to say this to anyone with BPD out there: You're loved. Sadly there is stigma but even so there are people out there who care for people with BPD. I'm fairly new to psychiatric disorders and have no personal connection to this disorder but I read so many comments saying disorders of this cluster are unchangable and I thought to myself - this can't be true. It just didn't sit right with me. Noone could explain it to me in a convincing way either. The way I see it it is possible to change your sense of identity. To learn and internalize new mindsets. To learn and become better and better at strategies for emotional regulation and distressing. There are so many improvements one can work on, I don't see BPD as doomed at all. I just feel sad about the issue with dysphoria, I don't know anything about it and how one could go about improving it. I bet it I felt dysphoria all the time I'd develop anger issues too. It must be so stressfull. I was always a more emotionally stable person I would say, yet the stress and overwhelm I've been experiencing I believe has caused me to become more irratable and more easily angered, and the irritation and anger lasting longer than usual. I can't imagine feeling dysphoria every day for most of the day, or feeling dysphoria all the time. It must be so exhausting, taxing and stressfull. No wonder there are emotional regulation issues and anger issues. I'm sorry so many people stigmitize this. But I hope it makes it a little bit better to hear that not everyone does. Some of us genuinely want to understand you, help you and love you. You're a very valuable human being. Your worth is just as much as everyone else's. And you're also unique. There is noone like you. With and without BPD you're very much worth the fight. I thank you for fighting for yourself and I hope you connect with other people who will fight with you and help you.
When I was 17 my mom seemed out DBT to help my "depression" and suicidal thoughts and self injury. The person who took me on as a patient didn't deal with minors but my mom begged. (Now she accepts minors) She unofficially diagnosed me with BPD since I was still a minor. DBT saved my life. I probably would've ended it eventually without it. The interesting thing is as I used the skills and grew up I thought I was cured. Fast forward to a recent bad experience with a hhc gummy and I was in a 3 day trip reminiscent of my younger years and it got me thinking maybe its still there. This video really put into perspective how it can look as an adult vs an adolescent. I no longer am experiencing depression but I am always discontent. I don't disassociate a lot but it definitely happens and it freaks me out. But I never tell anyone because I'm scared they'll lock me away and then ill be alone. Abandonement and low self esteem or self worth is a constant and has never faltered as I grew up. So many of these that you explained still track in adulthood just not in an explosive way like they did as a child. I'm terrified to seek an official diagnosis but I think its time. 😕
When I was still in therapy I brought up wanting to be tested for OCPD and things like that. I was continueously told that I'm too young to have any sort of personality disorder because I'm not 25 yet and 25 is when your personality is solidified (I was 19-20 at the time). Eventually in a conversation with my friend who was writing something to get into his psychology masters program me asked me if I realized I fit a lot of the criteria for BPD and after "studying" me for a while said it may do me some good to follow some of the recommended things to help BPD on my own since I had already fired my therapist and my insurance company would no longer cover therapy of any kind. I started following it almost a year ago and feel like I've improved. I really hate how some people don't evolve as psychology evolves.
I am not studying medicine or psychology, nor am i working in the health care. Nevertheless I’m really interested in psychology. As a ‘bad’ learner from books, these videos are great. Thanks
My oldest sister has been diagnosed with BPD (13 years my senior) and this describes her behavior, thinking, and wild shifts in character very well (and as decades have passed she has been less able to hide it). She is utterly unreliable in what she says, in what she claims other people say, and what she claims happened in the past. She is a very dangerous person, not just physically, but also in regards to the psychological and emotional abuse she dishes out. She is not a sociopath, but if you don't understand just how sociopathic some people with BPD can behave at times, you could easily mistake her for a sociopath in her worse moments. Other times, she seems like a vulnerable, wounded child (and god can't even help you if you fall for that). When she starts baby talking you can't help but roll your eyes... She is in her 70s now, and I personally think she is more sadistic than ever. She seems to get worse with age, not better. Once upon a time, I thought she was my closest family member. I can only laugh at how utterly clueless and naive I was for a good 25 years. I never ever knew her. She was a completely different person than who she pretended to be, and she has struggled with hiding that from family as the decades have passed.
This is the one response I can totally relate to! This reminds me of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? Besides my adopted daughter having BPD, my mother has it as well so I have been traumatized at both ends of my life. I've often wondered about both of them being sociopathic but it isn't the right fit.... only sometimes when they are at their worst. My mother is the same way; her anger, manipulation and abuse has affected everyone in her life, and then she has the "wounded child" that comes out as well, and she is 72! It's so strange to hear these same symptoms about your sister. It was not easy being raised by that woman, but she was a "splitter" so I could be her angel or her devil and was treated according to her mood, so I have the problem of always trying to please her to be her angel. I learned to walk on eggshells very early on.
I honestly recommend for anyone that’s struggling with this because I find myself lost at times too Look within yourself and ask yourself what do you want And look into your heart and ask what you want and believe ❤ and that’ll become a bit of who you are No one who’s who exactly they are, but we can have a sense of passion and a calling once we do figure out who we are, but loving our self’s first is more Important, a lot of people will go to try find them self’s by doing something their not complety passionate about, but want to do because they think their parents will value and love them self’s more for being more “successful” in life and so will that person, but if they didn’t have a college degree would people still respect and love them for them just being them ? That’s a question a lot of people don’t ask them self’s We live in a toxic world and twisted Society, where we don’t value how we treat others or ourselfs but we value more on how we “make something of ourselfs in life’s” in reialty we aren’t growing more in love and growing as people when we pressure, things to give us more power and ego, we do it out of the desire of love but is it true love ? I think your parents and you should love yourself Unconditionally,because that in itself is a really hard thing to do, and to grow As people Growing emotionally and Spiritually should matter more then your status and Job
I think my younger brother has BPD. I hope I can find someone competent enough to help him. Most therapists here only diagnose depression and anxiety and have limited knowledge of other mental illnesses Oh also…incredibly informative video!! Love the format. I’m not even a psych major but I feel like I could ace any exam if this was my material
I'm studying for my psychologist licensing exam -- this video is great and so helpful. Thank you for all your videos, I've been watching many of them and they really help me study and remember a lot of material! One thing I wanted to point out though, I was surprised that you didn't mention the role of childhood trauma in BPD, which is often a major factor in developing Borderline. Just want to put that out there in case anyone else is reading this and it's helpful to know. You did a great job de-stigmatizing this disorder, which has been very stigmatized for so long in the medical/mental health fields as well as in popular culture. I think the trauma piece helps with that too, for both providers and patients -- to understand that many cases of BPD very likely stem from trauma early in life (neglect and emotional abuse being the most common). There is lots of research on this that I'd be happy to track down for anyone who may be interested (after my exam! haha)
That's absolutely correct! There is a clear link between a reported history of childhood trauma and development of borderline personality disorder. Understanding that is another way to increase empathy and decrease stigma for people with this disorder, so thanks for bringing that up.
@@hankhill3417 when people say it's hereditary, it's not like Bipolar or heart disease. It's more like if your mother or grandmother have it, or traits of it, then you're more likely to develop it, if the conditions are right, like neglect, abuse, abandonment. I've had it since I was 4, and several women in my family have traits - but I had trauma at age 4. At 55 now, I'm so much better. Alot of therapy and time. I used to be an 8.5, now I'd say I'm at a 2.5. I don't do any of my acting out behaviors anymore, thank goodness, it's more the thoughts I have, that are leftover.
I relate with everything said in this video and when desperate for answers as to what is wrong with me as I have felt like an alien my whole life, my previous psychatrist shut it down saying that BPD isn't actually a thing/ disorder. I still think I have bpd but doubt I will ever get answers.
@@hankhill3417 no I wouldn't say so, I moreso get uncomfortable with anything too sad or too positive coming from other people, afraid of how to properly react and seem genuine, because I do care it's just like social anxiety and depression puts a block in the way sometimes.
baby, find a new psychoterapist that specializes and is very good in DBT, Dialectical Behavioural Therapy. These people have all the answers. i swear. you have to search really really hard to find them but they exist.
My mother is a phycologists and she’s actively refusing to believe I have BPD (even after a professional diagnosis) because she doesn’t want it on my record and she thinks it reflects badly on her, Glad (but also incredibly sad) to see that many others know what it feels like to struggle with this and I’m not alone, I just wish it wasn’t under such stressful and difficult circumstances
Great video... good tips.. I'm the patient..and in this case..the damn doctor, too.. Anyway.. at 38.. i learned a lot about the triage of the other disorders i have.. vital information has been shared..and i plan on relistening to the video.. for total absorption.. thanks again..great video..
For so long I've been thinking I have this problem, but nope, I just look to the other side, my brother. We have a narcissistic father and a mother who didn't want to divorce him and allowed him to do whatever he wanted with us, she didn't protect me but with my brother, she protected him the most because he was the scapegoat. I'm afraid of my brother, I will never know he just will snap at me, we couldn't be left alone in the house without him beating me. I even got the door of my room locked and my parents would tell me, "We are leaving just lock your door" His anger, the way he hated me, he never wanted me. He was or is an alcoholic, getting into fights, he is 10 years older than me. He had a girlfriend for 8 years, and when my mother told him "Marry her or set her free" he just found another woman much younger. This is eye-opening, I always wondered why he never wanted me. Sad but I just moved to the other side of the world, from my narcissistic father, my BPD brother and my mother who allowed all that
I put my BPD and BAD down to being sexually abused and neglected as a child. I'm 52 and have had numerous unsuccessful abusive relationships. I've recently met someone who is different from all the rest and after being on my own for 6 years, have decided I want this relationship to work. But, jelousy is a real issue for me and I want to know why? I know he'd never cheat on me but the mere thought that someone could turn his head, even an image, makes me feel so bad. I don't want to walk away from this man, but life is fxxking harder in a relationship!
I know doctors are highly against self diagnosing but I’m 99.99% sure that I have bpd. 13 years ago I noticed a few things about myself that weren’t “normal” I had abandonment issues I would become super jealous, rage and break things. I diagnosed myself with morbid jealousy, then I added on intermittent explosive disorder. Then one day I took acid and had a horrible trip for most of it. I thought I died, I thought I was in hell, it seemed so real it haunted for years. I thought it was solipsism. Then I came across something called drug induced psychosis which people with bpd are prone to by drugs and alcohol. I was always terrified to think that I was schizophrenic, bipolar, or narcissism of all things. But came to learn about BPD and it hit the nail on the head. One of the causes was childhood trauma BINGO! And I just kept learning more and more about it and everything started to make sense. When I had my first break up I went into a year long depression and didn’t even realize it at the time. I cheated on my ex out of impulsivity my reasoning was that was my out of an unhappy relationship. I had a really hard time with chronic suicidal thoughts like every time I’d get upset have break ups I’d just wan to off myself which I’ve tried twice in my lifetime. I still struggle with thoughts from time to time but with kids it’s different. I never realize I didn’t have a sense of self which was mind blowing. I can never stick to something I get into something then get bored of it right away. I’m always copying other people’s hobbies. Always upset from the emptiness. Along the way I’ve learned that I could have some narcissism, ocd, and adhd. I’ve done some much self reflection and educating myself on mental health. It’s a never ending process of keeping it together day to day. It feels like you’re not making progress because you’re just in this hell of a cycle. I hope to break one day.
i was self diagnosed bpd for 1.5-2 years before receiving an actual diagnosis. the diagnosis got postponed because i was both a teenager (teenagers are significantly less likely to be diagnosed with a PD, even if they clearly show signs and meet the criteria) and my therapist at the time refused to talk about PDs and was very condescending about it. now that i'm studying psychology and social work, i still find self diagnosing to be valid in cases where you cannot see a professional who can assess and diagnose, whether that be because of finances, professional availability, location, etc., and if you do genuine research. watching a few YT videos, tiktoks, or whatever about BPD as a trend is not enough for you to decide if you're BPD or not. i found out about the existence of BPD on tumblr while reading other peoples venting posts, and when i started to heavily relate to it, i did as much reading about it as possible. if i had not self diagnosed then, things would be very very different for me now, and not in a good way. read the writings of firsthand experiences with BPD. borderlines who self advocate and educate others on what its like to live with BPD. unfortunately, we are still a ways away from reliable studies and academic papers that don't stigmatize and demonize the disorder and the people who suffer from it.
I was married to a BPD for 16 yrs and dated 2 yrs before marriage with the condition really only raising its head 3 days after the wedding. We only discovered what we were dealing with towards the end of our divorce. She was put on 60mg predisone a day for autoimmune disorder which pushed her over the top and safety of everyone in household became an issue. May never have gotten to that point if we knew and she had told the doctor that she suffered from BPD. When told to read book, "Stop Walking On Eggshells", well, I could have written that book verbatim. Questions: Have you ever seen the symptoms of BPD to be cyclical? I saw that in her and as she got older, the cycles seemed to get shorter and the symptoms got worse; particularly the dysphoria and devaluation, as well as, we began to have more bad days than good. Also, we believe her mother suffered from same condition, but never diagnosed. Is BPD associated with heredity and if so which parent seems to carry the gene? Thank you for this insight. No one asked for this condition and I have always hoped my ex would be able to get better. Self harm was always a concern of mine and she verbalize it often.
Damn, I wish I met psychologists like this when I was a bit mad, I was told I could have emerging BPD by a psychiatrist not long ago, and then they just disconnected me from their services and said “u will just have to see how things develop”. These kinds of videos make me a little hopeful, but still, this kind of view on BPD is so uncommon where I live anyways, where mental health service funding is just a couple of pennies and a crumpled up receipt. So I don’t think I’ll ever return to therapy or medication, it was all just awful.
I got diagnosed at 28 (M), I’m 30 now, so far i don’t really tell new therapists I’m diagnosed with bpd bc their response is to almost brush over it, and call it something else like Ptsd. So i don’t say anything about that diagnosis when im with a new therapist
to all my colleagues here learning, there is a biological explanation to self harm in BPD, and it is linked to opioid receptors. It looks like that, when inflicting self harm, patients with BPD activate the opioid system (pain regulation) that is in some way connected to mood regulation (still under research but think of it in a way like some antidepressants - sertraline, fluvoxamine, ketamine etc - are weak sigma receptor agonists). Also to note that researchers and clinicians anecdotally use naltrexone (opioid antagonist) as a mean to reduce self harm in some patients
My BDP diagnosis came in my early twenty's but I was felling the psychological effects as a teenager. Misdiagnosing me as manic depressive, the term used for bipolar in the 1990s. When I began to uncover the delusional thinking pattern the title schizo-effected bipolar disorder. Years of anti psychotics and psychotropic medications did more harm than good. It took a mental break at 23 before my psychologist at the time began to reevaluate years of misunderstood manifestations of borderline personality disorder. Anyone else who has to deal with this might understood how difficult it can be to interact socially. I feel like a fake. I can give some advice from experience. Shape your environment. Don't let it shape you. Keep your circle small and tight. Let people love you. It's ok to let your guard down. Express your feeling in a healthy way. Be honest with loved ones. Most of all be honest with yourself.
How many that have symptoms or criteria to be diagnosed with BPD experienced childhood trauma, emotional neglect or physical/mental abuse by their parents, caregivers, authority figures, organized religion, spouse etc. The amygdala, vagus nerve and nervous system respond to trauma or covert abuse by going into a fight, flight, freeze or fawn reaction. An innate response for survival similar to victims with Stockholm Syndrome. Put the disorder label on the perpetrators incapable of empathy or remorse. The trauma bond, manipulation, confusion, love-bombing, lies, gaslighting, false promises, blame shifting, rejection chips away at a child’s sense of safety, self worth and identity. Domestic violence instills fear, anxiety, dissociation, abandonment, trust and relationship issues. Complex post traumatic stress can start in childhood. Toxic adults or family taking them to get help or “fixed” are often undetected contributing to or causing their mental and emotional pain. Also consider if someone has had a head injury, chronic illness, whiplash etc…structurally there may be a problem. Thirty years searching finally discovered by an upper cervical specialist I have a subluxation of my atlas (c1) aggravating symptoms from mild head traumas that got worse over the years. If treatment/meds aren’t helping enough look into structural and the vagus nerve connection. Good info on Upper cervical, NUUCA and Caring Medical’s website and u-tube videos. Hope we all get relief…
Hi! I was just reading the comments. Did you go to Caring Medical and get treatment? If so, did it help? My friend was looking into it for so many head symptoms (dizziness, feeling off, tight shoulder/neck muscles). Just wondering :) Thanks!
@@saralarsen292 I’m seeing an upper cervical specialist here in Dallas. Trying to get help to fill out paperwork and get to Florida since they have more experience and treatment options. Also looking into microdosing psyllocybin in a controlled environment to see if it’ll help where traditional meds haven’t… Remind your friend basics like hydrate, sleep, self care, feel the feelings, sing, dance, journal, grounding exercises all good to calm the nervous system.
Pretty certain I have it, but I’m pretty good at controlling myself, and never will tell therapists the full extent of my thoughts. Also had lots of therapy before turning about 19-20, tho have stopped afterwards. Not being able to express my craziness as a kid probably helped in the long run, as acting out and stuff got met with extreme disapproval and punishment, but also can make it worse cuz I push it down so much. It most shows itself in relationships, tho working customer service makes me wanna attack customers who are being assholes. Funny enough my sichozoprhenic ex pointed out that I have a penchant for seeking out “scary” people or those with extreme mental health issues, but those types make me feel “normal”. If I’m around some people without crazy issues I’m the “scary” or “disturbed” one, but when I’m around seriously fucked up people my stuff seems a lot less. I have a very hard time with certain forms of rejection, or rudeness or “undeserved” disrespect. Also disassociated a lot. Now I’m on 5 different psych meds that keep me pretty evened out, and keeps highs and lows from getting too extreme, or lasting quite as long
The books are largely written with a clinical audience in mind, so most of the material is focused on what will matter most for patient care! This will generally overlap with what is taught in most graduate-level courses, though depending on the course itself there may be some finer details (like specific neurotransmitter receptor profiles) that are not covered to the same extent. Hope that helps to clarify!
I have had both borderline and bipolar disorders for 32 years now (am 50yo). CBT helped damage what few good feelings I had (they kept focusing on distrusting/questioning the bad feelings/thoughts…without considering the damage that can happen when it's carried over to also distrusting/questioning the good feelings/thoughts). I manage without medication, but at the same time I can't handle the added stresses of a regular job or relationship stress without feeling like I’m in a psychological storm. I have recently learned about Polyvagal theory and Internal Family Systems. These have been so helpful, but I can’t access a therapist to guide me through the more difficult issues (cuz of insurance limitations). So I struggle along as best I can.
Was it the side effects that led you to stop your meds just asking because sometimes it's not recommended to stop or or change meds with that without a responsible
@@Joseph-wf7rn when I was 23yo I went through “The Great Cocktail Experiment “ where Drs were trying to find a combination of prescription drugs to stabilize me. Side effects varied immensely during this time. As soon as we finally found a set…i found out I was 5 months pregnant. So I went off everything. After she was born, the previous solution didn’t work. So instead of going through another Experiment that might risk my baby's safety, I went off meds completely. Well, I did try twice again. Buspar helped when I was dealing with high stress situations…it helped dampen flying thoughts. It could be taken on as an 'as needed' basis. But the generic form only gave me headaches, and my PCP would only order the generic form. And another drug that I don’t remember name of anymore. It worked for 5 days, but it somehow blocked considerations for possible consequences. If I had had a propensity/skills for illegal activities, I would have done them without second thoughts. Thankfully I didn't. When the drug stopped working and I realized what could've happened, then I said 'never again'. I wasn't (still not) suicidal…nor homicidal. Mostly what I need/ed was a good therapist to help me develop skills of emotional regulation (example Polyvagal theory or EMDR), and parts therapy (example Internal Family Systems IFS) to help me learn to recognize and negotiate between competing needs. But I didn’t know about those therapies until recently. And previous efforts to get ANY therapy were limited by insurances, and the BPD stigmas.
Hi I did CBT for 10 years and never got better until I did DBT.I have been in recovery for two years which I never thought possible I'm so glad.I am having a problem now with my 24 year old .I see these traits in her .She goes to counseling regular cbt but her therapist is not familiar with personality disorders so she has been doing worse the last 3 years.She is now splitting on me and left home and very unstable and she is in denial of bpd .Since she's used to her therapist she would not change even though I asked her to the last few years at least try someone that can help with her splitting. I feel stuck I know for sure that the lack of proper treatment is why she's getting worse but she's an adult so I can't do anything.
I've noticed a trend among people with BPD of extreme blame shifting. Often, they consider it abusive for anyone to hold them accountable for their actions. This pattern seems worthy of addressing.
Splitting most likely. If you are on a bad side of a split with a pwBPD they genuinely think you are evil/bad and can't see the grey area. Naturally they will put the blame onto you. The brain of pwbpd use it to avoid negative emotions like shame and guilt, it's only temporary though because they end up feeling those emotions anyway after they stop splitting which become so Intense they start to split again, on themselves or the same person. It's like a never ending cycle, that's why it's so hard to be in a relationship with a pwBPD if they are untreated because they genuinely feel like you are hurting them. They are hurting, but it's from the Intense and rapid emotions they are feeling and not you, they just can't realize that which only causes more damage and makes them hurt even more along with the hurt they cause others. You're dealing with someone who is emotionally stunted and delusional, It's like a child in an adults body. I say that not in a insulting way because I also have BPD, but yeah it's a very hard disorder to have and for the loved ones they feel hopeless, emotionally drained and damaged and the best course of action is to leave that person unfortunately.
Cutting isn't understood unless you do it. Physical pain doesn't hurt. Emotional pain does. Physical pain distracts from emotional pain. The trap is that it takes more until you really hurt yourself.
Hey folks, I've learnt that we, people with mental health issues, tend to know better than those who style themselves as the 'Professionals', actually , apart from a few exceptions, its us. Love yourself x x x
I would say that BPD actually mirrors so many mental health illnesses and I would think that sometimes psychiatrists diagnosed BPD so readily as it’s roughly fits the criteria. I suffer major depression and I have been in psychiatric hospitals many times in my life, and I met many patients diagnosed with BPD but only a handful would be fitting to the diagnosis. The problem is that BPD is highly stigmatised and it’s not helping the situation. I have been diagnosed as BPD before but my psychologist doesn’t believe that it is fit for me, as I’m seeing him for over 2 years and I never lash out on him, I also didn’t have reckless jobs history and reckless relationships with all people. I would say that I experience most of symptoms at times but not enough to be diagnosed?
Learning for school. Thanks a lot. I cannot imagine who these people are. The family, spouse, the kids, the community. I wish we live in a perfect world, but we don't. I watched Taking Control of Your Mind preached by Steven Furtick, his take is on the Biblical perspective of course. #Faith-basedCounseling
I have almost all the symptoms except the like hearing things and all of that, but I do get the paranoia but I think that’s just cause of anxiety. But I get all of the other symptoms & I just really can’t live like this anymore, I just want some form of help because I find myself in these cycles that make life really hard for me. It feels like I’m constantly in the one step forward 3 steps back thing because of the fact that I keep ruining everything
@@MemorablePsych That's how I parted company with my neurologist -- he'd been treating me successfully for variant migraine and rather than accepting that Topiramate no longer worked Dx Somatization disorder. In 2021; someone corrected him to code for billing. I guess he didn't bother getting a copy of DSM-V; waiting for the movie maybe. Ironically the psych NP I now see doesn't blink that I used psilocybin to suppress the migraine Sx which caused the bad Dx; he accepts that the issue was neurological. He jokes that if neurologists had people skills they'd be psychiatrists.
This is obviously uninformed by extensive experience with these suffering souls, or diagnosing and treating them. The key symptom is "abandonment terror" dating back to a very early abandonment by the mother, most often at age 2. For instance, this is DJT's history and he is a classic example of BPD, thus his obsession with "loyalty" (to avoid abandonment). The early maternal abandonment was a life threatening trauma and the BPD patient will do ANYTHING to avoid a repeat. I am a lifelong practicing physician/psychiatrist and author of the FREE online e-book, "Stress R Us". We live in a massively overpopulated society with ever more, and more abandoned young children, so more and more BPD. Good Luck! Stress R Us
I’m gonna be 100% I am a 14 year old boy and am positive I have this it is truly what I feel besides the lashing out of anger I keep it to myself but often have suicidal thoughts and pretty much all the letters in the thing im tired rn so im gonna sleep
Princess Diana had borderline personality disorder. It must have exaggerated her fear of abandonment when her ex husband was having an extramarital affair.
Might wanna educate 90 percent of therapists out there who wouldn’t tell you if you had BPD even if you laid ur symptoms on a silver platter. Might want to show them this. Cuz it really pisses me off that 25 years of being misdiagnosed and misunderstood and basically just giving myself heart problems because of pain and lack of feeling. It cuts your life short. It really pisses me off that suddenly there’s a plethora of new developments and yet therapists are Not going to diagnose you with this but apparently there’s all this research been out for decades. FFS. Why should I trust therapists again??
Thank you for the video, it's very good. Btw, I might be wrong, but currently many (not all) people who claimed has gender dysporia, binary, and others type seems match perfectly with BPD.. and instead of get mental help or at least find out what happend, they just do physical transitions and expecting it will make them happy.
Hey i love the video, i have BPD since little age but i just been diagnosed lately, i am seeking for a therapist but there's not many here that does that unfortunately. Are you a psychiatrist? and if so maybe i can do online treatments with you , i'll pay of course
How can I help my gf with this? We are going through a problem, and she uses her conditions almost as a way to excuse her behavior. 3 years together. How can I explain my side or feelings about a topic without her feeling I'm attacking her. It's pretty annoying that i can't say tell her something that may sting a bit but would better our relationship. She sent me some videos so here i am now. The shit is annoying trying to talk to her about something but she has no problem telling me about my self. I need tips
I would never try to hurt myself. Is that the one component that makes one bpd? It seems as though self harm 8s a requirement of diagnosis. Please clarify...anyone
I'm 50 and I've had it since my early 20s. No treatment available in my area. Still cut on occasion and have attempted suicide more than 10xs. Drs want to treat me with antidepressants which never work or they say I'm menopausal and its hormones. I have no friends, just lost my job, no car and my living situation is not safe.
That's so silly to try to explain away bc of politics of F>M The truth is that it is more common in F. Mucv like antisocial is more common in M. L take. Good vid tho
BPD or NPD, what is also called covert, or vulnerable narcissism is a gender-biased diagnosis. And most of them also have Anti-social Disorders and some psychosis I know this because I dated one. SHe was hyper-sensitive and violent. Psychologists are looking into changing the diagnosis, and the labeling of these disorders. And a lot of people diagnosed with BPD are really miss-diagnosed, they are really suffering from CPTSD.
Very few BPD will seek treatment. Most of BPD shows as Narcissistic Personality, which are both cluster B personalities,DSM V. By definition is untreatable. If you encounter anyone with a cluster B Personality, run as fast as you can.
This comment is misinformation and highly stigmatising. BPD is BPD, NPD is NPD. Stay away from all people who are not self aware, and willing to change - not just those with mental health conditions.
A year ago I decided to study psychology in college because I always wanted to help people in situations similar as mine. One day we were learning about personality disorders and I remember being so shocked at how my teacher told us how if we ever encountered a patient with BPD we should RUN because they can’t be helped and they will try to ruin our lives and of those around them. As a BPD patient myself, this felt awful and it really stuck to me
Your teacher wasn't wrong!
I am a therapist. This is when I ask, "Are you a therapist that doesn't believe in therapy?" If they fight me, I say, "don't speak for me. I enjoy working with people who have been diagnosed with BPD." Why is it so easy for me to work with them? Because I'm encouraging but challenging, use motivational interviewing, work from THEIR perspective, and don't take their words or behavior personally. I also have met religious people who don't actually believe their religion, medical professionals that don't believe in medicine, and people in recovery who don't actually believe in the 12 Step process.
That's awful of them to teach, I'm sorry you experienced that being told to you
That is just AWFUL. I'm so sorry that lecturer was such a dickhead about it.
It seems to me that this person isn’t great at boundaries and isn’t familiar with the protocols. BPD is really difficult for the sufferers because it takes so much work to manage but for a therapist it should be as straightforward as any other disorder.
bpd feels like I’m being emotionally waterboarded (I know what it physically feels like unfortunately and I stand by my comparison)..not quite drowning but definitely not surviving. And all the last minute, panicky, “running out of time” emotions that come with that. It’s just brutal. I’m so tired.
I have been diagnosed with BPD a few days ago. I've spent 25 years of my life not knowing what is wrong with me. This video explains everything so well, and i feel understood.
I was diagnosed a few days ago 🌱 and I’m 39. My entire likes makes sense now. Cheers, my friend
@@erykahbadont6605did you go to therapy, how did it get since you got aware ? I’m considering going to therapy
From where did u diagsed plz give me the adress or contact number
Plz tell me the adress I want it for my daughter
I'm 16 and was diagnosed a couple months ago during my inpatient stay following assaulting my teacher at school whom I was violently attached to. My school sent me to hospital and I was reviewed admitted from there. I remember at 14 coming across BPD and curiosity having overcome me I did my research and tried getting a diagnosis out of my community CAMHS team but they were reluctant and refused to. Turns out docs were/are uncertain whether to diagnose people below 18 with the disorder, especially a 14 year old ASKING for such a diagnosis. Anyways I've finally found an answer to all my childhood years of idealisation and devaluation and attachment, etc, to peers around me including teachers at school. I specifically remembered at 11-12 this occurred with one of my friends. Each time they were slow to respond or responded in a certain tone I'd break out in anger or passive aggression, etc.
This is by far the most intricately detailed, yet most easy to understand video I’ve seen about this personality disorder. I am a male with BPD and I experience each of these traits to varying degrees. Living with this disorder is like living inside my own personal mental and emotional hell.
Hi,
I am a psychitris resident. This video is incredible. It explain the difference between dysphoria mood and depressive mood very simply. It is a very every day clinical accurate difference that change my way of seeing patients. Thanks you, you doing better than many of professeur I met
So glad you found it helpful! That explanation is what finally made the difference between depression and dysphoria click for me, happy to share it with others as well.
I think the explanation is THE best I’ve heard of depression v dysphoria! Overall a very thorough presentation of BPD vs an hour or two spent in a lecture
Oops except the DBT comments
I was misdiagnosed for years, this video is incredibly informative.
I have had BPD diagnose in Australia ,I was been told straight away THIS IS UNTREATABLE . Also
I am Taiwanese , unfortunately not many people understand about BPD including the medical staffs ...
Still feel very very lonely to battle this on my own ..
Thank you for sharing this information
U are not alone
You are definitely not alone but I do understand how it could feel like that.
You aren't alone but untreatable doesn't mean unmanageable Don't except that this is the way it always will be please. U can manage it u need to seek a better opinion than untreatable thats a mockery who everade you feel that way
🙏🙏🙏❣️
It is treatable. People have had success with DBT. You are not alone. 🤗
As a psychiatric nurse practitioner student, this is a godsend. Thank you so much for the series.
This is the first time I've seen anyone say meds aren't good for bpd and thank you! I've been off my meds for over a year, and it was a great first step!
I have BPD. Thank you for this video. DBT and psychoanalysis works best for me. It's a daily struggle. 24/7
Me too! I loved DBT! I have learned so much, from this!
And yes, it is a daily struggle.
I was nervous watching this- because so often the picture painted isn’t entirely accurate & we’re demonized and invalidated- with stereotypical comments & inaccuracies… but this was accurate- clear- & straightforward. Comprehensive & easy to understand.. I will def be sharing this!
Thank you for finally breaking down BPD in to this relatable and hopeful context. I've been diagnosed for 15 years and anything I've ever read or seen has been dehumanising & makes it seem BPD is a need to manipulate so I've tried to distance myself from the diagnosis as it wasn't what I felt was my true experience. I have made changes over the time, like learning meditation and mindfulness but I still trip up when I'm in moments of mind chaos. I've only experienced joy twice in my life, once when I realised I wasn't just an internal dialogue and then when my daughter was born. But no matter what emotions I experience I always come back to a stagnant feeling of emptiness and despair, even when all around me is calm and safe. I, thankfully have an understanding partner now, who doesn't gaslight me in to extreme behaviours. But even with this support, my mind still resorts back to suicidal and self harm idealisation & I find myself fighting the urge to act out on them, it is only with the desire of not wanting to inflict the pain of doing so on to my partner and children that stops me from acting.
Thank you so much for this video.
I fond this helpful on cluster b. I have been diagnosed with BPD, but also various other diagnoses, and I question the diagnosis. th-cam.com/users/clipUgkxqU-eIRBhvbzO6wOYFb5WMZStxJiqpfea
Thank you for sharing your experience. I relate a lot to you.
❤ its taken so long to get this level of self understanding and acceptance its inspiring.
I was diagnosed with BPD in 2018, after several hospitalizations and suicide attempts. This video is 100% on point! Thank you! There is a video I can show people now.
I found this video during an episode, as i tend to research bpd as a way to remind myself that i'm not alone in feeling this awful all the time, and this video genuinely has the best information on bpd i have ever come across in my opinion, as someone with bpd and specifically quiet bpd. i'm so thankful for this video and that it covered the wide and deep range of bpd.
Thank you very much. Getting all your books is the best thing that has ever happened and I encourage you all to get all 3 books.
Thank you very much
So glad you liked them! Really appreciate the feedback ☺️
I have come to know that I have BPD, and this is by far the best video that explains it all . Thankyou
You know, I just recently learned of my diagnosis by accident at a crisis center I was in this past weekend. I only want to say that I’ve been in over 30 hospitals, inpatient and outpatient places, and if I had been told this was what happened in my brain I would have found solace in my madness.
I recently found out I had BPD by accident too. I needed my intake papers which were written nearly 10 years ago and BPD was the first thing they wrote as a diagnosis!! Why wouldn’t they tell me!? Now that I’m aware what is going on with my head, I have a baseline on who I am and why I do the things I do. I have been so discouraged all my life thinking no one understands what I’m going though not even my dr. At my dr, I act like I’m ok just so my dr doesn’t send me to hospital or up my dose. Had I known this, I would have been able to understand and help myself.
@@melissaaknudsen9536 wishing you well. I'm glad your found it. I have been diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety. It all makes sense. I see it be now though.
I dont think I wouldve been told if I hadnt asked my psychiatrist to evaluate me for it directly. I even have it in my PCP files now but when they print my problems sheet when I go it NEVER says BPD. It lists ADHD Anxiety/Depression
I’m currently in tears after my new doc just said it. I’ve had countless appointments, assessments, therapy- today I found out I might not be mad, there’s a name, and I’m not alone. I wish I knew sooner, but I’m glad now.
My whole life was some sort of "diagnosis" . It started with ADHD at 5 and then bi polar/bdp in my teens. Honestly my home life was dysfunctional and they constantly were putting me on meds that I think made things much worse. I'm 42 now and I haven't been on meds in years and I am learning to try and stay calm when I feel myself getting upset. Also who I surround myself with makes a huge difference in my mood. And medical marijuana has been very beneficial.
mate ... weed is the only thing that makes me have a baseline of emotion i have had a diagnoses of BPD since my early 20's and people try to say its the weed doing it when they dont understand without it its so much worse
omg yes, my quality of life has improved so much since i started smoking weed! over the many years ive tried pretty much every psych med and none of them had any significant effect and most had detrimental side effects... and then i smoked weed and started being able to enjoy things on my own somewhat often instead of always being stuck feeling empty when im alone and like im just waiting for someone to come alone to help me.
Smoking weed can be really bad for people with mental disorders.
It can cause psychosis.
Yes to the MaryJane!!!
@@maryboyce5129 so can going to the grocery store. Marijuana is the ONLY thing that has ever helped my BPD,my Fragile X Syndrome or my CPTSD. Weed has literally saved my life.
My daughter has BPD.
I have came to my OWN definition of this disorder.
I feel that it comes from being abandoned or the idea of being abandoned during the age that personality develops. (Betwee. 2-5)
For my daughter my parents took her from me and I had to fight for over 6 months to get her back. I was taking a nap when she was and my dad who was a police officer decided to come in and take her and I was reported to child services. But they seen it as a police officer calling in not her over bearing controlling grandparents. Any ways during that time my mother would tell her any time I stopped that I was mean mean mommy and I was going to take her from her toys and her gma. So she would have felt abandoned by me at this time. Then when I got her back she would have experienced that all over again feeling abandoned by my parents.
This sets into their personality this constant fear and need to protect themselves from any perceived danger real or otherwise. Whether it's manipulation and lies or stunts for attention to disasociating those actions are all used as a form of self protection.
Usually to prevent someone from leaving them.
This is my definition of this disorder. I am a nurse and have some mental health background but I am no where near a professional in this area. However my daughter is now 24 and I have spent the better part of her life researching and Journaling her behaviors and trying to understand things from her point of view, as well as connecting the outbursts with a causal link. She has been on mood stabilizers and in DBT therapy now since she was 18. She still has moments every once in awhile but over all she can catch herself and keep herself grounded. I hope my daughter's story can help someone else that is suffering from this be it family or personal experience. This is a VERY hard disorder to have. I wish you all the luck
you are such a great mother!!! so supportive and you fought for her so hard!! much love
I completely agree with you. I believe most of it comes from the trauma of the feeling of abandonment. Childhood trauma is a huuuuuuge factor in most of how we are later on life and the disorders we get. I’m currently in the middle of discovering a loved one’s trauma and how to help them. I find Gabor Maté to be so insightful and helpful. Check him out if u can. He is a doctor who specializes in childhood trauma and abandonment. Finally, good luck to you and your daughter and I’m so sorry that happened to her. 🙏
You might not see this but i have a question, im to scared to ask my mom or my doctor for a test to get a diagnosis on bpd. I feel i may have it but im to scared to ask. So idk what to do, like do i ask or just forget abt it ?
@@staarbloom talk to your mom about your struggles and ask to see a therapist if you aren’t already. tell them your concern and describe your feelings the best you can. don’t be afraid to tell them how you feel because you are so important and deserve to be heard💗
@@taylorgraham3377 tysm, im just confused on what to do and I’ll definitely take that into consideration, thx again :)
it's so hard to live with this disorder because you can't escape the thoughts and emotions that control you. and if you engage in risky behaviors to escape them, it just spirals you into a worse and worse mental state that fuels emotional outbursts and episodes. trying to get on treatment is so hard, and it feels as if you are rejected and left to struggle and cope yourself. I was on a mood stabilizer for MDD, and medications usually do not help with certain aspects of BPD. i want to better myself, and i'm taking action to get on treatment, but the cycle is so vicious...
Good for you for being to brave and strong to take action. I wish you all the best and luck 🙏
DBT. Diabolical Behavioral Therapy. I am 47, found out I had BPD at 45 years old. I took DBT, as soon as I found this out. It has helped tremendously.
Sorry, not Diabolical! Lol! Dialectical
I am a 27 year old male who has been diagnosed with BPD twice in psychiatric hospitals. I didn’t receive my diagnosis until I was barely 26. It explained a lot, but also didn’t help. I always thought I was depressed and had good days and bad, not realizing I was having drastic changes in mood and temper multiple times in a week. It was fine for a while, when I became Catholic, and was asked to run our Latin Mass program, because I was the only one around who could read Latin fluently. But as time when on, the obsession I had with perfection, the fact that my entire personality and interests were consumed by the liturgy, freaked the priests out, and I was asked to step aside. Well, the rest is history. Now my sole preoccupation is drinking, and dwelling on my paranoid thoughts that everyone is individually planning on disowning me at any moment, that I will be fired for any reason, or because of lies told about me. And my reaction to each of these is just, whatever, I’m not worth the trouble to be around or help anyway.
The only way I learned to cope on my own as a kid and young man was to shut my mouth and bottle it inside. I learned that lashing out was harmful to the ones I was *desperately* attached to. However, with alcohol, my ability to suppress and compress my anger is basically gone. I am very sensitive to the slight intonations of people’s responses to my questions or opinions, and will often fly into a rage when I find their responses “ludicrous” (my favorite word), breaking things, hitting myself in the head, etc.
Finally i see man with BPD... Most are women. I feel you buddy. Be strong!
I want you to recover in a heathy way, and understand your diagnose in a less tragic and so paranoid way. More drink will harm your ability. You are more than your crazyness and your drinking , god bless you understand this and find the right terapeut. Perhaps against depression, there are some free and good doctors online TH-cam too. With a humanistic approach not so much shaming you in a sane place, is it possible?
DBT should be taught in school. Put it in health class or something. It’s a good baseline for anyone to understand and express their own emotions in a healthy way.
This is the best explanation and information on BPD that I have seen. I wish a had encountered it sooner. My daughter suffered from BPD, with her earliest symptoms in her early teens. She felt hopeless and trapped. I couldn’t help much, even though I tried and tried, other than trying to keep her compliant with her 7(!!) meds. As it turns out, that may not have been the best action. She eventually spiraled into illicit drugs and died of fentanyl poisoning. One of the drugs she took was laced with it. I wish I knew all of this before.
I was wrongly diagnosed with bpd at 28. Ten years later I was diagnosed with ADHD, then four years after that with autism.
When screening for bpd please be mindful of posdible developmental disorders.
The socalled social autism profile, high intelligence, and learned rationalization of behaviors can mask attention deficits, sensory issues, and other signs of ADHD and autism.
Just putting it here hoping as many as possible get the right diagnosis, help, and self understanding first time around ❤
this is the most helpful video i have ever seen and i dont think im splitting here XD ive started watching bpd videos sometimes when i feel like cutting and most were not helpful... this video was incredibly helpful! i was always hoping to glean some bits of info to help me understand my feelings and identity better and this video gave me everything i could possibly hope for! i took a page full of notes lol. Thank you so much!
a few months ago i got a new psychiatrist who wanted to go over my diagnoses with me and one of them was BPD and i had no idea. apparently ive had the BPD diagnosis for years and no one told me, in fact they were avoiding telling me... that blows my mind. since finding out, i feel like my perspective has shifted sooooo far and my quality of life improved a lot with it and now i feel like i have a framework for making and reaching goals instead of just feeling like everything is hopeless and life will never improve and to also be able to identify splitting behaviors before destroying my relationships. now i really want to send this video to everyone i know but i am terrified thinking that no one will care and people will stop talking to me and that i'll start to hate everyone that doesnt give me attention about it 😅
I'm married to a Bpd woman. I lost interest a while ago about fully understanding this disorder from a science perspective like reading literature about it or online or even watch big shots like Peterson talk about it cause they all lack something and to be honest didn't intrigue me cause let's b honest they are very complex human beings ( BPD), no offense at all here i love my wife, and the interpretation of the reasons behind their symptoms didn't click with what im actually experiencing.
Your perceptional interpretation is really exceptionally close to the truth specifically the dysphoria and what's the nature and reasons behind it.
The nature of tremendous impulsivity and it's reasons and the mechanism behind it. Impressive
I usually do not like to subscribe a lot on YT but in your case that wouldn't be fair.
Thank you!!
should watch Dr. Sam vaknin....he has an unbelievable amount of data on bpd
hi, as a bpd woman with a VERY understanding boyfriend, i want to thank you and everyone like you who genuinely care and support us. i know its indescribably hard to deal with someone who has bpd. we appreciate all the love we can get, even if we're not great at showing it.
@@Lwoods1717
Wish my wife knew how tough the ride is like yourself.
I think everyone is sick in his own ways. I have depression, ocd and anxiety too.
I wish you good luck and by keeping up this attitude, you’ll definitely get better.
My wife also has BPD...I struggle at times, I feel she hates me the majority of the time. Like HATRED. She says she does love me but I get confused and feel I am disappointing her all the time, I am learning more about BPD and empathize with her.
@@Danchez226
Don’t let her mood get to you. At times you wil feel loved and other times she will make you feel as if you’re her sole enemy.
This SPLIT was the hardest but a certain medication helped a lot in this area.
I can not judge whether she loves you or not but the manipulation is on another level so take care and always support until you truly feel otherwise.
Wow, your knowledge amazing. Differently Americans are better at everything. We never learned this type of deep insight learning in the UK 🇬🇧. Thank you man and keep up the good work. I'm psychiatric nurse.
I want to say this to anyone with BPD out there: You're loved. Sadly there is stigma but even so there are people out there who care for people with BPD. I'm fairly new to psychiatric disorders and have no personal connection to this disorder but I read so many comments saying disorders of this cluster are unchangable and I thought to myself - this can't be true. It just didn't sit right with me. Noone could explain it to me in a convincing way either. The way I see it it is possible to change your sense of identity. To learn and internalize new mindsets. To learn and become better and better at strategies for emotional regulation and distressing. There are so many improvements one can work on, I don't see BPD as doomed at all.
I just feel sad about the issue with dysphoria, I don't know anything about it and how one could go about improving it. I bet it I felt dysphoria all the time I'd develop anger issues too. It must be so stressfull. I was always a more emotionally stable person I would say, yet the stress and overwhelm I've been experiencing I believe has caused me to become more irratable and more easily angered, and the irritation and anger lasting longer than usual. I can't imagine feeling dysphoria every day for most of the day, or feeling dysphoria all the time. It must be so exhausting, taxing and stressfull. No wonder there are emotional regulation issues and anger issues.
I'm sorry so many people stigmitize this. But I hope it makes it a little bit better to hear that not everyone does. Some of us genuinely want to understand you, help you and love you. You're a very valuable human being. Your worth is just as much as everyone else's. And you're also unique. There is noone like you. With and without BPD you're very much worth the fight. I thank you for fighting for yourself and I hope you connect with other people who will fight with you and help you.
Thank you for helping me understand. Im so lost.
Oh stfu with your bullshit fake positivity
When I was 17 my mom seemed out DBT to help my "depression" and suicidal thoughts and self injury.
The person who took me on as a patient didn't deal with minors but my mom begged. (Now she accepts minors)
She unofficially diagnosed me with BPD since I was still a minor.
DBT saved my life. I probably would've ended it eventually without it.
The interesting thing is as I used the skills and grew up I thought I was cured.
Fast forward to a recent bad experience with a hhc gummy and I was in a 3 day trip reminiscent of my younger years and it got me thinking maybe its still there.
This video really put into perspective how it can look as an adult vs an adolescent.
I no longer am experiencing depression but I am always discontent.
I don't disassociate a lot but it definitely happens and it freaks me out. But I never tell anyone because I'm scared they'll lock me away and then ill be alone.
Abandonement and low self esteem or self worth is a constant and has never faltered as I grew up.
So many of these that you explained still track in adulthood just not in an explosive way like they did as a child.
I'm terrified to seek an official diagnosis but I think its time. 😕
This is very beautiful channel I am able to remember symptoms of disorders very easily
Thank you for your creative work
im currently a psych student in highschool hoping to learn more about clinical psych and this is very informative and easy to follow
awesome video :)
When I was still in therapy I brought up wanting to be tested for OCPD and things like that. I was continueously told that I'm too young to have any sort of personality disorder because I'm not 25 yet and 25 is when your personality is solidified (I was 19-20 at the time). Eventually in a conversation with my friend who was writing something to get into his psychology masters program me asked me if I realized I fit a lot of the criteria for BPD and after "studying" me for a while said it may do me some good to follow some of the recommended things to help BPD on my own since I had already fired my therapist and my insurance company would no longer cover therapy of any kind. I started following it almost a year ago and feel like I've improved.
I really hate how some people don't evolve as psychology evolves.
I am not studying medicine or psychology, nor am i working in the health care. Nevertheless I’m really interested in psychology. As a ‘bad’ learner from books, these videos are great. Thanks
My oldest sister has been diagnosed with BPD (13 years my senior) and this describes her behavior, thinking, and wild shifts in character very well (and as decades have passed she has been less able to hide it). She is utterly unreliable in what she says, in what she claims other people say, and what she claims happened in the past. She is a very dangerous person, not just physically, but also in regards to the psychological and emotional abuse she dishes out. She is not a sociopath, but if you don't understand just how sociopathic some people with BPD can behave at times, you could easily mistake her for a sociopath in her worse moments. Other times, she seems like a vulnerable, wounded child (and god can't even help you if you fall for that).
When she starts baby talking you can't help but roll your eyes...
She is in her 70s now, and I personally think she is more sadistic than ever. She seems to get worse with age, not better.
Once upon a time, I thought she was my closest family member. I can only laugh at how utterly clueless and naive I was for a good 25 years. I never ever knew her. She was a completely different person than who she pretended to be, and she has struggled with hiding that from family as the decades have passed.
This is the one response I can totally relate to! This reminds me of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? Besides my adopted daughter having BPD, my mother has it as well so I have been traumatized at both ends of my life. I've often wondered about both of them being sociopathic but it isn't the right fit.... only sometimes when they are at their worst. My mother is the same way; her anger, manipulation and abuse has affected everyone in her life, and then she has the "wounded child" that comes out as well, and she is 72! It's so strange to hear these same symptoms about your sister. It was not easy being raised by that woman, but she was a "splitter" so I could be her angel or her devil and was treated according to her mood, so I have the problem of always trying to please her to be her angel. I learned to walk on eggshells very early on.
I honestly recommend for anyone that’s struggling with this because I find myself lost at times too
Look within yourself and ask yourself what do you want
And look into your heart and ask what you want and believe ❤ and that’ll become a bit of who you are
No one who’s who exactly they are, but we can have a sense of passion and a calling once we do figure out who we are, but loving our self’s first is more Important, a lot of people will go to try find them self’s by doing something their not complety passionate about, but want to do because they think their parents will value and love them self’s more for being more “successful” in life and so will that person, but if they didn’t have a college degree would people still respect and love them for them just being them ? That’s a question a lot of people don’t ask them self’s
We live in a toxic world and twisted Society, where we don’t value how we treat others or ourselfs but we value more on how we “make something of ourselfs in life’s” in reialty we aren’t growing more in love and growing as people when we pressure, things to give us more power and ego, we do it out of the desire of love but is it true love ?
I think your parents and you should love yourself Unconditionally,because that in itself is a really hard thing to do, and to grow As people
Growing emotionally and Spiritually should matter more then your status and Job
I think my younger brother has BPD. I hope I can find someone competent enough to help him. Most therapists here only diagnose depression and anxiety and have limited knowledge of other mental illnesses
Oh also…incredibly informative video!! Love the format. I’m not even a psych major but I feel like I could ace any exam if this was my material
I'm studying for my psychologist licensing exam -- this video is great and so helpful. Thank you for all your videos, I've been watching many of them and they really help me study and remember a lot of material!
One thing I wanted to point out though, I was surprised that you didn't mention the role of childhood trauma in BPD, which is often a major factor in developing Borderline. Just want to put that out there in case anyone else is reading this and it's helpful to know. You did a great job de-stigmatizing this disorder, which has been very stigmatized for so long in the medical/mental health fields as well as in popular culture. I think the trauma piece helps with that too, for both providers and patients -- to understand that many cases of BPD very likely stem from trauma early in life (neglect and emotional abuse being the most common). There is lots of research on this that I'd be happy to track down for anyone who may be interested (after my exam! haha)
That's absolutely correct! There is a clear link between a reported history of childhood trauma and development of borderline personality disorder. Understanding that is another way to increase empathy and decrease stigma for people with this disorder, so thanks for bringing that up.
It’s also hereditary
i wanna it i want the information give it to me haha
@@hankhill3417 when people say it's hereditary, it's not like Bipolar or heart disease. It's more like if your mother or grandmother have it, or traits of it, then you're more likely to develop it, if the conditions are right, like neglect, abuse, abandonment.
I've had it since I was 4, and several women in my family have traits - but I had trauma at age 4. At 55 now, I'm so much better. Alot of therapy and time. I used to be an 8.5, now I'd say I'm at a 2.5. I don't do any of my acting out behaviors anymore, thank goodness, it's more the thoughts I have, that are leftover.
This was so educational and I loved the way it was
explained in such simple terms.
I was so intrigued. Thank you.
Glad it was helpful!
I relate with everything said in this video and when desperate for answers as to what is wrong with me as I have felt like an alien my whole life, my previous psychatrist shut it down saying that BPD isn't actually a thing/ disorder. I still think I have bpd but doubt I will ever get answers.
Do you lack empathy?
@@hankhill3417 no I wouldn't say so, I moreso get uncomfortable with anything too sad or too positive coming from other people, afraid of how to properly react and seem genuine, because I do care it's just like social anxiety and depression puts a block in the way sometimes.
baby, find a new psychoterapist that specializes and is very good in DBT, Dialectical Behavioural Therapy. These people have all the answers. i swear. you have to search really really hard to find them but they exist.
My mother is a phycologists and she’s actively refusing to believe I have BPD (even after a professional diagnosis) because she doesn’t want it on my record and she thinks it reflects badly on her,
Glad (but also incredibly sad) to see that many others know what it feels like to struggle with this and I’m not alone, I just wish it wasn’t under such stressful and difficult circumstances
That's so sad. You think maybe it's because it's partially genetic and she's having a denial issue?
thankyou for making this video, its extremely helpful for understanding bpd and how to help understand someone with it better
Great video... good tips.. I'm the patient..and in this case..the damn doctor, too..
Anyway.. at 38.. i learned a lot about the triage of the other disorders i have.. vital information has been shared..and i plan on relistening to the video.. for total absorption.. thanks again..great video..
For so long I've been thinking I have this problem, but nope, I just look to the other side, my brother. We have a narcissistic father and a mother who didn't want to divorce him and allowed him to do whatever he wanted with us, she didn't protect me but with my brother, she protected him the most because he was the scapegoat.
I'm afraid of my brother, I will never know he just will snap at me, we couldn't be left alone in the house without him beating me. I even got the door of my room locked and my parents would tell me, "We are leaving just lock your door"
His anger, the way he hated me, he never wanted me.
He was or is an alcoholic, getting into fights, he is 10 years older than me.
He had a girlfriend for 8 years, and when my mother told him "Marry her or set her free" he just found another woman much younger.
This is eye-opening, I always wondered why he never wanted me. Sad but I just moved to the other side of the world, from my narcissistic father, my BPD brother and my mother who allowed all that
I'm glad they told me that they diagnosed me with BPD
I have this disorder and it's better not to be around people.
I put my BPD and BAD down to being sexually abused and neglected as a child.
I'm 52 and have had numerous unsuccessful abusive relationships. I've recently met someone who is different from all the rest and after being on my own for 6 years, have decided I want this relationship to work. But, jelousy is a real issue for me and I want to know why? I know he'd never cheat on me but the mere thought that someone could turn his head, even an image, makes me feel so bad. I don't want to walk away from this man, but life is fxxking harder in a relationship!
I know doctors are highly against self diagnosing but I’m 99.99% sure that I have bpd. 13 years ago I noticed a few things about myself that weren’t “normal” I had abandonment issues I would become super jealous, rage and break things. I diagnosed myself with morbid jealousy, then I added on intermittent explosive disorder. Then one day I took acid and had a horrible trip for most of it. I thought I died, I thought I was in hell, it seemed so real it haunted for years. I thought it was solipsism. Then I came across something called drug induced psychosis which people with bpd are prone to by drugs and alcohol. I was always terrified to think that I was schizophrenic, bipolar, or narcissism of all things. But came to learn about BPD and it hit the nail on the head. One of the causes was childhood trauma BINGO! And I just kept learning more and more about it and everything started to make sense. When I had my first break up I went into a year long depression and didn’t even realize it at the time. I cheated on my ex out of impulsivity my reasoning was that was my out of an unhappy relationship. I had a really hard time with chronic suicidal thoughts like every time I’d get upset have break ups I’d just wan to off myself which I’ve tried twice in my lifetime. I still struggle with thoughts from time to time but with kids it’s different. I never realize I didn’t have a sense of self which was mind blowing. I can never stick to something I get into something then get bored of it right away. I’m always copying other people’s hobbies. Always upset from the emptiness. Along the way I’ve learned that I could have some narcissism, ocd, and adhd. I’ve done some much self reflection and educating myself on mental health. It’s a never ending process of keeping it together day to day. It feels like you’re not making progress because you’re just in this hell of a cycle. I hope to break one day.
i was self diagnosed bpd for 1.5-2 years before receiving an actual diagnosis. the diagnosis got postponed because i was both a teenager (teenagers are significantly less likely to be diagnosed with a PD, even if they clearly show signs and meet the criteria) and my therapist at the time refused to talk about PDs and was very condescending about it.
now that i'm studying psychology and social work, i still find self diagnosing to be valid in cases where you cannot see a professional who can assess and diagnose, whether that be because of finances, professional availability, location, etc., and if you do genuine research. watching a few YT videos, tiktoks, or whatever about BPD as a trend is not enough for you to decide if you're BPD or not. i found out about the existence of BPD on tumblr while reading other peoples venting posts, and when i started to heavily relate to it, i did as much reading about it as possible.
if i had not self diagnosed then, things would be very very different for me now, and not in a good way. read the writings of firsthand experiences with BPD. borderlines who self advocate and educate others on what its like to live with BPD. unfortunately, we are still a ways away from reliable studies and academic papers that don't stigmatize and demonize the disorder and the people who suffer from it.
I was married to a BPD for 16 yrs and dated 2 yrs before marriage with the condition really only raising its head 3 days after the wedding. We only discovered what we were dealing with towards the end of our divorce. She was put on 60mg predisone a day for autoimmune disorder which pushed her over the top and safety of everyone in household became an issue.
May never have gotten to that point if we knew and she had told the doctor that she suffered from BPD. When told to read book, "Stop Walking On Eggshells", well, I could have written that book verbatim.
Questions: Have you ever seen the symptoms of BPD to be cyclical? I saw that in her and as she got older, the cycles seemed to get shorter and the symptoms got worse; particularly the dysphoria and devaluation, as well as, we began to have more bad days than good.
Also, we believe her mother suffered from same condition, but never diagnosed. Is BPD associated with heredity and if so which parent seems to carry the gene?
Thank you for this insight. No one asked for this condition and I have always hoped my ex would be able to get better. Self harm was always a concern of mine and she verbalize it often.
Hope you get the answers
And one that verbalizes self harm just wants attention
He said in the video that there is a 50% chance of inheriting it from a parent.
@@dnrmoore4124Or maybe the person was in so much distress that they wanted help 🤦♀️
My mother likely had undiagnosed bpd ... my childhood was a hell that I still cant deal with at 48 ...
Same
@@Lex-zq3mb ♥️♥️♥️
Damn, I wish I met psychologists like this when I was a bit mad, I was told I could have emerging BPD by a psychiatrist not long ago, and then they just disconnected me from their services and said “u will just have to see how things develop”.
These kinds of videos make me a little hopeful, but still, this kind of view on BPD is so uncommon where I live anyways, where mental health service funding is just a couple of pennies and a crumpled up receipt.
So I don’t think I’ll ever return to therapy or medication, it was all just awful.
I got diagnosed at 28 (M), I’m 30 now, so far i don’t really tell new therapists I’m diagnosed with bpd bc their response is to almost brush over it, and call it something else like Ptsd. So i don’t say anything about that diagnosis when im with a new therapist
to all my colleagues here learning, there is a biological explanation to self harm in BPD, and it is linked to opioid receptors. It looks like that, when inflicting self harm, patients with BPD activate the opioid system (pain regulation) that is in some way connected to mood regulation (still under research but think of it in a way like some antidepressants - sertraline, fluvoxamine, ketamine etc - are weak sigma receptor agonists). Also to note that researchers and clinicians anecdotally use naltrexone (opioid antagonist) as a mean to reduce self harm in some patients
No psychiatrist will help me with my bpd.And people such as my parents keep telling me that it is my fault.
My BDP diagnosis came in my early twenty's but I was felling the psychological effects as a teenager. Misdiagnosing me as manic depressive, the term used for bipolar in the 1990s. When I began to uncover the delusional thinking pattern the title schizo-effected bipolar disorder. Years of anti psychotics and psychotropic medications did more harm than good. It took a mental break at 23 before my psychologist at the time began to reevaluate years of misunderstood manifestations of borderline personality disorder. Anyone else who has to deal with this might understood how difficult it can be to interact socially. I feel like a fake. I can give some advice from experience. Shape your environment. Don't let it shape you. Keep your circle small and tight. Let people love you. It's ok to let your guard down. Express your feeling in a healthy way. Be honest with loved ones. Most of all be honest with yourself.
Psychiatrists kept trying to push bipolar on me for years. Because I'm male they didn't consider BPD.
How many that have symptoms or criteria to be diagnosed with BPD experienced childhood trauma, emotional neglect or physical/mental abuse by their parents, caregivers, authority figures, organized religion, spouse etc. The amygdala, vagus nerve and nervous system respond to trauma or covert abuse by going into a fight, flight, freeze or fawn reaction. An innate response for survival similar to victims with Stockholm Syndrome. Put the disorder label on the perpetrators incapable of empathy or remorse. The trauma bond, manipulation, confusion, love-bombing, lies, gaslighting, false promises, blame shifting, rejection chips away at a child’s sense of safety, self worth and identity. Domestic violence instills fear, anxiety, dissociation, abandonment, trust and relationship issues. Complex post traumatic stress can start in childhood. Toxic adults or family taking them to get help or “fixed” are often undetected contributing to or causing their mental and emotional pain. Also consider if someone has had a head injury, chronic illness, whiplash etc…structurally there may be a problem. Thirty years searching finally discovered by an upper cervical specialist I have a subluxation of my atlas (c1) aggravating symptoms from mild head traumas that got worse over the years. If treatment/meds aren’t helping enough look into structural and the vagus nerve connection. Good info on Upper cervical, NUUCA and Caring Medical’s website and u-tube videos. Hope we all get relief…
Hi! I was just reading the comments. Did you go to Caring Medical and get treatment? If so, did it help? My friend was looking into it for so many head symptoms (dizziness, feeling off, tight shoulder/neck muscles). Just wondering :) Thanks!
@@saralarsen292 I’m seeing an upper cervical specialist here in Dallas. Trying to get help to fill out paperwork and get to Florida since they have more experience and treatment options. Also looking into microdosing psyllocybin in a controlled environment to see if it’ll help where traditional meds haven’t… Remind your friend basics like hydrate, sleep, self care, feel the feelings, sing, dance, journal, grounding exercises all good to calm the nervous system.
Thank you for posting this, really helpful. Take care of yourselves, everyone 😻
Knowing HOW to with the disorder is the huge fence to keep climbing over.
Pretty certain I have it, but I’m pretty good at controlling myself, and never will tell therapists the full extent of my thoughts. Also had lots of therapy before turning about 19-20, tho have stopped afterwards. Not being able to express my craziness as a kid probably helped in the long run, as acting out and stuff got met with extreme disapproval and punishment, but also can make it worse cuz I push it down so much. It most shows itself in relationships, tho working customer service makes me wanna attack customers who are being assholes. Funny enough my sichozoprhenic ex pointed out that I have a penchant for seeking out “scary” people or those with extreme mental health issues, but those types make me feel “normal”. If I’m around some people without crazy issues I’m the “scary” or “disturbed” one, but when I’m around seriously fucked up people my stuff seems a lot less. I have a very hard time with certain forms of rejection, or rudeness or “undeserved” disrespect. Also disassociated a lot. Now I’m on 5 different psych meds that keep me pretty evened out, and keeps highs and lows from getting too extreme, or lasting quite as long
Thank you for all these videos! Are you planning to review all the disorders listed in Memorable Psychiatry?
That's the goal! No guarantees about how long it'll take but hoping to get around to everything at some point 🤞
@@MemorablePsych How in-line are your textbooks with graduate/medical courses in psychiatry/psychopharmacology? Thanks so much!
The books are largely written with a clinical audience in mind, so most of the material is focused on what will matter most for patient care! This will generally overlap with what is taught in most graduate-level courses, though depending on the course itself there may be some finer details (like specific neurotransmitter receptor profiles) that are not covered to the same extent. Hope that helps to clarify!
@@MemorablePsych That makes sense, thank you! -hail from Loma Linda!
I have had both borderline and bipolar disorders for 32 years now (am 50yo). CBT helped damage what few good feelings I had (they kept focusing on distrusting/questioning the bad feelings/thoughts…without considering the damage that can happen when it's carried over to also distrusting/questioning the good feelings/thoughts). I manage without medication, but at the same time I can't handle the added stresses of a regular job or relationship stress without feeling like I’m in a psychological storm. I have recently learned about Polyvagal theory and Internal Family Systems. These have been so helpful, but I can’t access a therapist to guide me through the more difficult issues (cuz of insurance limitations). So I struggle along as best I can.
Was it the side effects that led you to stop your meds just asking because sometimes it's not recommended to stop or or change meds with that without a responsible
Physician or psychiatrist
@@Joseph-wf7rn when I was 23yo I went through “The Great Cocktail Experiment “ where Drs were trying to find a combination of prescription drugs to stabilize me. Side effects varied immensely during this time. As soon as we finally found a set…i found out I was 5 months pregnant. So I went off everything. After she was born, the previous solution didn’t work. So instead of going through another Experiment that might risk my baby's safety, I went off meds completely. Well, I did try twice again. Buspar helped when I was dealing with high stress situations…it helped dampen flying thoughts. It could be taken on as an 'as needed' basis. But the generic form only gave me headaches, and my PCP would only order the generic form. And another drug that I don’t remember name of anymore. It worked for 5 days, but it somehow blocked considerations for possible consequences. If I had had a propensity/skills for illegal activities, I would have done them without second thoughts. Thankfully I didn't. When the drug stopped working and I realized what could've happened, then I said 'never again'.
I wasn't (still not) suicidal…nor homicidal.
Mostly what I need/ed was a good therapist to help me develop skills of emotional regulation (example Polyvagal theory or EMDR), and parts therapy (example Internal Family Systems IFS) to help me learn to recognize and negotiate between competing needs.
But I didn’t know about those therapies until recently. And previous efforts to get ANY therapy were limited by insurances, and the BPD stigmas.
Hi I did CBT for 10 years and never got better until I did DBT.I have been in recovery for two years which I never thought possible I'm so glad.I am having a problem now with my 24 year old .I see these traits in her .She goes to counseling regular cbt but her therapist is not familiar with personality disorders so she has been doing worse the last 3 years.She is now splitting on me and left home and very unstable and she is in denial of bpd .Since she's used to her therapist she would not change even though I asked her to the last few years at least try someone that can help with her splitting. I feel stuck I know for sure that the lack of proper treatment is why she's getting worse but she's an adult so I can't do anything.
Best video so far
I've noticed a trend among people with BPD of extreme blame shifting. Often, they consider it abusive for anyone to hold them accountable for their actions. This pattern seems worthy of addressing.
Splitting most likely. If you are on a bad side of a split with a pwBPD they genuinely think you are evil/bad and can't see the grey area. Naturally they will put the blame onto you.
The brain of pwbpd use it to avoid negative emotions like shame and guilt, it's only temporary though because they end up feeling those emotions anyway after they stop splitting which become so Intense they start to split again, on themselves or the same person. It's like a never ending cycle, that's why it's so hard to be in a relationship with a pwBPD if they are untreated because they genuinely feel like you are hurting them. They are hurting, but it's from the Intense and rapid emotions they are feeling and not you, they just can't realize that which only causes more damage and makes them hurt even more along with the hurt they cause others. You're dealing with someone who is emotionally stunted and delusional, It's like a child in an adults body.
I say that not in a insulting way because I also have BPD, but yeah it's a very hard disorder to have and for the loved ones they feel hopeless, emotionally drained and damaged and the best course of action is to leave that person unfortunately.
Amazingly informative. Thank you!
Being in a relationship makes this disorder so fucking difficult. I didn't know I had it until recently, but everything makes so much sense now.
Cutting isn't understood unless you do it. Physical pain doesn't hurt. Emotional pain does. Physical pain distracts from emotional pain. The trap is that it takes more until you really hurt yourself.
This describes me in many ways.
Very insightful video… Thank you 🙏🏻
Excellent information applicable to practice. Thank you sir.
You're welcome!
Hey folks, I've learnt that we, people with mental health issues, tend to know better than those who style themselves as the 'Professionals', actually , apart from a few exceptions, its us. Love yourself x x x
I would say that BPD actually mirrors so many mental health illnesses and I would think that sometimes psychiatrists diagnosed BPD so readily as it’s roughly fits the criteria. I suffer major depression and I have been in psychiatric hospitals many times in my life, and I met many patients diagnosed with BPD but only a handful would be fitting to the diagnosis. The problem is that BPD is highly stigmatised and it’s not helping the situation. I have been diagnosed as BPD before but my psychologist doesn’t believe that it is fit for me, as I’m seeing him for over 2 years and I never lash out on him, I also didn’t have reckless jobs history and reckless relationships with all people. I would say that I experience most of symptoms at times but not enough to be diagnosed?
Thank you professor
Learning for school. Thanks a lot. I cannot imagine who these people are. The family, spouse, the kids, the community. I wish we live in a perfect world, but we don't. I watched Taking Control of Your Mind preached by Steven Furtick, his take is on the Biblical perspective of course. #Faith-basedCounseling
this video is very helpful, thank you
I have almost all the symptoms except the like hearing things and all of that, but I do get the paranoia but I think that’s just cause of anxiety. But I get all of the other symptoms & I just really can’t live like this anymore, I just want some form of help because I find myself in these cycles that make life really hard for me. It feels like I’m constantly in the one step forward 3 steps back thing because of the fact that I keep ruining everything
0:16 the notion that it's acceptable in any circumstance to conceal a diagnosis from the patient troubles me.
It should! This video advocates for sharing the diagnosis with patients as part of the therapeutic process.
@@MemorablePsych
That's how I parted company with my neurologist -- he'd been treating me successfully for variant migraine and rather than accepting that Topiramate no longer worked Dx Somatization disorder. In 2021; someone corrected him to code for billing. I guess he didn't bother getting a copy of DSM-V; waiting for the movie maybe.
Ironically the psych NP I now see doesn't blink that I used psilocybin to suppress the migraine Sx which caused the bad Dx; he accepts that the issue was neurological. He jokes that if neurologists had people skills they'd be psychiatrists.
BPDer cheer up xx from another BPDer
This is obviously uninformed by extensive experience with these suffering souls, or diagnosing and treating them. The key symptom is "abandonment terror" dating back to a very early abandonment by the mother, most often at age 2. For instance, this is DJT's history and he is a classic example of BPD, thus his obsession with "loyalty" (to avoid abandonment). The early maternal abandonment was a life threatening trauma and the BPD patient will do ANYTHING to avoid a repeat. I am a lifelong practicing physician/psychiatrist and author of the FREE online e-book, "Stress R Us". We live in a massively overpopulated society with ever more, and more abandoned young children, so more and more BPD. Good Luck! Stress R Us
I’m gonna be 100% I am a 14 year old boy and am positive I have this it is truly what I feel besides the lashing out of anger I keep it to myself but often have suicidal thoughts and pretty much all the letters in the thing im tired rn so im gonna sleep
It was genuinely weird seeing how accurate what you stated in this video was I came back just to say this but it’s true
Princess Diana had borderline personality disorder. It must have exaggerated her fear of abandonment when her ex husband was having an extramarital affair.
Might wanna educate 90 percent of therapists out there who wouldn’t tell you if you had BPD even if you laid ur symptoms on a silver platter. Might want to show them this. Cuz it really pisses me off that 25 years of being misdiagnosed and misunderstood and basically just giving myself heart problems because of pain and lack of feeling. It cuts your life short. It really pisses me off that suddenly there’s a plethora of new developments and yet therapists are Not going to diagnose you with this but apparently there’s all this research been out for decades. FFS. Why should I trust therapists again??
Thank you for the video, it's very good. Btw, I might be wrong, but currently many (not all) people who claimed has gender dysporia, binary, and others type seems match perfectly with BPD.. and instead of get mental help or at least find out what happend, they just do physical transitions and expecting it will make them happy.
Hey i love the video, i have BPD since little age but i just been diagnosed lately, i am seeking for a therapist but there's not many here that does that unfortunately. Are you a psychiatrist? and if so maybe i can do online treatments with you , i'll pay of course
This would be easier to deal with if there was ever an accountability for their actions
Please elaborate
@@defaultdacat it was pretty black and white ACCOUNTABILITY
You'll never even get an apology from a borderline after being taken on a rollercoaster ride from Hell.
@@oliviamartini9700 wrong. My mom suffered from BPF. It's sad and she always held herself accountable and apologized.
How do you know what I’ve been told about BPD to say it was wrong?
Thank you for this.
Anybody can self harm, its not rare in other conditions for heavens sake.
How can I help my gf with this? We are going through a problem, and she uses her conditions almost as a way to excuse her behavior. 3 years together. How can I explain my side or feelings about a topic without her feeling I'm attacking her. It's pretty annoying that i can't say tell her something that may sting a bit but would better our relationship. She sent me some videos so here i am now. The shit is annoying trying to talk to her about something but she has no problem telling me about my self. I need tips
I would never try to hurt myself. Is that the one component that makes one bpd? It seems as though self harm 8s a requirement of diagnosis.
Please clarify...anyone
I'm 50 and I've had it since my early 20s. No treatment available in my area. Still cut on occasion and have attempted suicide more than 10xs. Drs want to treat me with antidepressants which never work or they say I'm menopausal and its hormones. I have no friends, just lost my job, no car and my living situation is not safe.
Hi Traci. At least you own it and that’s a start!! I wish you all the best
Men also rarely ask for directions.
Great teaching!
But pardon me, your very first statement here is incorrect.
I have this sometimes.
I have borderline and this is me exactly...
Thank you🙏
Thanks ❤️
That's so silly to try to explain away bc of politics of F>M
The truth is that it is more common in F.
Mucv like antisocial is more common in M.
L take. Good vid tho
Why never diagnose as what they have? And why never tell the client/patient? That's very sad!
I have BPD but im on zoloft 200mg for OCD and depression should I tell my doctor to take me off it?
BPD or NPD, what is also called covert, or vulnerable narcissism is a gender-biased diagnosis. And most of them also have Anti-social Disorders and some psychosis
I know this because I dated one. SHe was hyper-sensitive and violent.
Psychologists are looking into changing the diagnosis, and the labeling of these disorders.
And a lot of people diagnosed with BPD are really miss-diagnosed, they are really suffering from CPTSD.
ok if im no longer suicidal bcs of medications and mindset etc. but i fit every other symptom what does this mean diagnostically?
Very few BPD will seek treatment. Most of BPD shows as Narcissistic Personality, which are both cluster B personalities,DSM V. By definition is untreatable. If you encounter anyone with a cluster B Personality, run as fast as you can.
This comment is misinformation and highly stigmatising. BPD is BPD, NPD is NPD. Stay away from all people who are not self aware, and willing to change - not just those with mental health conditions.