Why I Stopped Stretching My Relaxers & Maybe You Should To | Style Domination
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.ย. 2024
- #relaxedhair #healthyrelaxedhair #dominiquebaker
When I started listening to my hair and I stopped stretching my relaxer treatments for months on end, it thrived. Watch the video to find out why and determine whether or not you should too.
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It's about time the elephant in the room was acknowledged...not everyone can stretch their relaxer... it's not for all black women. I HAVE to relax every 5 months...no exceptions. Protective hairstyles just makes it worse. I also can't moisturize and seal more than once or twice a week ( in the winter). Co-washing..nope, itch like I have chickenpox. Air drying..ahhh, no. Bottom line: the hair of black women isn't monolithic... what routine works for one person may not work for someone else.
Baby you spoke a whole new language and I agree with everything you said. When I air dry my hair becomes a bird's nest. Kudos to everyone who can do it
Yes to all of this!!! Moisturize and seal literally only works for my freshly washed hair, if not it's an oily mess!
This is the BEST DAMN COMMENT OF ALL TIME. Thank you for this. I didn't think this video would resonate with so many of you. When I stopped following the advice of 1000 different youtubers with different hair types, lifestyles, budgets, etc. and just listened closely to my hair, it started to thrive. "Isn't monolithic" - a absolutely LOVE that.
@@superwomanme Thank you so much for this! Airdrying works for me but only to a certain point!
@@wittykitti Thanks, Kitti! It works for me, but I most certainly cannot do it nightly. It gives me HORRIBLE back-ne, feels greasy, etc. When I started doing it though, my hair did start to thrive...but on my own schedule.
I feel you. I stretched for 3 months and was LITERALLY crying trying to comb through my roots. Never again. I am 46 years old. I will not be crying like I was when I was 6! Lol
Do you both have 4c hair?
“What do I have to prove?”
The black hair community, relaxed or natural, has a way of forcing certain ideals of how we should take care of our down everyone’s throat. Sometimes it becomes subconscious and you think you have to do these things or face the ridicule especially as a beauty influencer.
Beautifully stated!
I love that and it's something I need to remember especially when it comes for my hair/appearance. "What do I have to prove?" I can literally do whatever I want.
That’s the majority of black women we are miserable
Most of us are miserable
I’ll rather listen to Indian women most have gorgeous hair and washing my hair every 4 days has my hair flourishing
My hair stayed above the shoulders until my care routine included a no more than 2 month touch, deep conditioning, babying the ends
and frankly not fussing with it. Now I’m past shoulder length, thick and healthy!
YASSS! Thrilled for you!
Bravo!
If I had only knew then what I know now because I needed more frequent touch-ups yet thought something was wrong with me.
Grateful for this video by Dom and your comment.
xo
Same for me. I cannot go past 2 months. Moisturizing and sealing does not work for me either. I deep condition and use serums. Keeps my hair moist and flowy. My hair is thicker and longer
Finally someone said it😩👐🏽👐🏽😂🤗, i stopt stretching and my hair grew like crazy. I only relax after 8 weeks now
You know - I tried to do some research on the pitfalls of stretching and couldn’t find ANYTHING!!! I felt great recording this for you all. Kind of like weight was lifted off my shoulders!!!! So glad your hair thrived once you determined what worked for you!
My hair is healthier when I don't. I keep mine short but my temples thinned really badly from stretching.
I stopped stretching to 16 weeks starting 2021. I go no longer than 10-12 weeks post before retouch. I also roller set, no more blow dry/flat iron.
Stopped lmao
I’m so happy you’ve addressed this. Stretching just doesn’t work for me. My hair looked a hot mess while stretching. At 9.5 weeks it’s time for my hair to be touched up & my hair is ready for it. Listening to your hair is great advice. That needs to be on a tee shirt, lol! There’s no one size fits all for relaxed hair.
HAHAHA! That's gives me a business idea! xo Hahaha
@@StyleDomination You’re welcome, lol.
You are so right! I "stretch" as in longer than the recommended 6 weeks but I don't stretch for 5, 6 months anymore. It's too much for this 4c girl. I feel like those girls stretching 4,5,6,7 months have much looser hair texture
I find my hair is ready exactly at 12 weeks. No longer
So stretching means when to retouch again? I have really soft natural hair and my dresser recommended 6 months
@@nutrishake Hey Stella! Stretching means to wait as long as possible between treatments. I agree to a point with your stylist. If you have silky natural hair, you can definitely stretch longer than someone with very coarse, kinky hair.
@@nutrishake yep that's exactly what I said above lol. I'm 4c so no 6 month stretching for me. Like I said, people who say they stretch for 4/5/6 months often have a looser hair texture ❤
I stopped stretching thanks to your advice and it’s so helpful. I was always on team stretch as long as possible and I realized that my line of demarcation is way too sensitive for that. Combing, washing, finger detangling, didn’t matter I got breakage. Being relaxed is a commitment and relaxing 2-3x a year doesn’t always work.
Exactly. Stretching has prevented my hair from retaining length. It just gets super tangled and weak!!!
At last someone of colour who tells her truth and doesn't go with the hype. I am nearly 60 and still relax my hair I used to leave it too long my hairdressers didn't like it.
Now I relax my very strong hair (found new hairdresser) every 8-10 weeks it's growing healthy and I look good. Take it from an older black woman use what works for you, you know your hair more than anyone. Well done.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for this video!! I just relaxed a week ago and I have finally come to the conclusion that my highly dense, coily 4C hair cannot be stretched past 9-10 weeks. The self confidence part is facts! Thanks for speaking your truth. You really have to do what's best for your hair!
It's crazy i remember the first Time i had a relaxer i was 17 backbin 2004 ,but god was i not waiting for the rude awaiting with two different textures no one told me about ..so i just quit AND went natural .I never knew i could flat iron it or blow dry it plus i was broke ,so i knew the struggle.
Awesome video. I don't stretch on a schedule when I have relaxed hair. I wait for around an inch of new growth. I treat relaxer like a color process. You don''t want to over-process the hair. That time frame is different for everyone. Some folks' hair will grow out in 2 months, some folks' need 4. It just depends. We've gotten so used to TH-cam University selling us ideas that we forgot that our individual heads are super different.
Stretching a relaxer is more suited for persons with textures looser than 4c or 4b. I have 4c/4b hair and the stretching process was pretty ugly. Just like you said: dry ends, puffy roots and breakage galore!
Thanks for addressing this. My hair hates stretching- I noticed breakage and it was awful. I relax my hair every 8 weeks - you have to do what is best for your hair. Everyone's hair journey is different. 💞
You hit the nail on the head when you said "our self confidence is held in our crown & glory"! So very true. I experienced a major setback last year, and my self confidence went down hill.
Same!!! That’s one reason why I disappeared from TH-cam.
So glad you made this video! I started stretching thinking that the less contact my hair had with relaxers, the better off it would be. Never mind the fact that I had been able to grow long hair before without stretching. But so many of these “experts” were saying that stretching was the way to go. The thing is, you don’t realize where your hair problems began until the 2nd or 3rd time you’ve stretched. I began to realize that the longer I waited for a relaxer, the more I was playing tug of war against my new growth. When my roots are straight, there’s so much less resistance when combing, styling, and detangling. But when I have months of new growth there is so much tension coming from the curls at my scalp (since I’m pulling the hair away from my scalp and the curls are pulling my hair towards my scalp) that breakage is more likely. Now I go no longer than 6 weeks. I even do 4 weeks sometimes now that I cut my hair into a super short bob. I’m able to retain my length now and my hair looks so much thicker down to the ends.
Yes 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾. I get the most breakage when I stretch past 12 weeks. I used to try and go 16 weeks and the breakage. 12 weeks is it. Nothing more. Thanks for sharing this.
You are so welcome!
This is me exactly!
Stretch with braids... especially knotless braids. It's not to harsh on hair. I agree with you, definitely not pass 3 months. For me, on or around 8 wks post...braid then keep it in for about 4 to 6 wks.
I had a similar experience… I will never stretch my hair. Two months , that’s it…. When I was growing up women never stretched their hair, this is a new concept that should be abandoned.
Ha! She said it!!! It’s almost like a badge of honour… “How long can I go?” More power to those who can…but it didn’t work for me.
And they rarely had cancer too. They relaxed their hair often and rarely had cancer. Now they have come up with a lie that relaxers cause cancer. Now women are afraid to relax their hair. A lot of women have gone natural, yet cancer is more prevalent than before when people relaxed more. The same people screaming relaxer bad are eating McDonald's and seed oils daily. SMH.
This is what I was just saying. I am on the verge of speaking to an old school stylist (90s or before) to get tips. This new aged crap is ridiculous !
Maybe due to my hair texture, my hair had the most length retention when I relaxed every 7 weeks.
That crazy wow! I feel that hair thrives when you can manage it!
Life lessons! You never stop learning and now, after all these years, you've learnt not to stretch and not to wrap your hair. I recommend you a relaxed youtuber, she is called Dolce Dawn, she relaxes every 7 or 8 weeks, wears her hair down 99% of the time, I think she does things differently but they work for her.
What you said about swimming or the gym is completely true and it is a shame a lot of black girls do not swim or exercise because of the hair. You should do a video with tips on how to take care of the hair before/after swimming and exercising. ENcouraging women to live their best life is so nice (you're already doing it so thanks)
What a great idea! Thank you for this tip and looking up Dolce Dawn now! xo
@@StyleDomination any time girl!
Yes!! Dolce Dawn and Style Domination are my two of my favorite relaxed hair TH-camrs! Both are very knowledgeable and give really great hair care advice. I love Dolce’s easy, minimalistic, uncomplicated approach to relaxed hair. It has helped me tremendously. Plus her hair is ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS! So is Dom’s. This video was really needed. Just love them both. 💖💖
I just had this realization a few months ago & now that I’ve been relaxing every 8 weeks my hair looks beautiful. Thank you for coming out and saying the “unpopular” opinion.
“ I wasn’t going to let hair hold me back” right! We need to live life to the fullest. Amazing video. You look amazing
One of the best youtubers. Really helpful. I'm in the process of stretching and hating it. Thought it was something to be healthy for my hair but it's kind bad. You're so right, it does take a number on my self esteem.
Oh babe! Thank you and sorry that you are struggling. It’s funny how we like to punish ourselves!
Most definitely one of the best!
Here I am, watching this with 9 weeks of new growth, feeling SO unattractive, yet forcing myself to uphold some unknown stretching deadline. For what?
I am so thankful for the pure honesty of this video.
The last 4 minutes pretty much convinced me to go relaxed again. My styling time takes way too much time in my life.
I feel similarly! We need to start paying more attention to what works for us personally, and less so what is popular.
"I'm all about streamlining your life." 💯💯💯 My quote for the rest of the year.
YASSSS GIRL 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾
When I was relaxed I started stretching in 2016 and it was the only time I saw any real growth! I would do touchups every ten to twelve weeks and my grew a lot this way!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying this, like other comments everyone’s hair is different. I can only go about 7-8 weeks. My confidence was down while I would stretch my hair. So long ago I decided to do what was best for me and I’m glad. You are so honest and that’s why I follow you. Blessings Beautiful.❤️
Oh Neko - THANK YOU!!!! I appreciate you - truly. Means the world.
This is a great video. Listening to our hair is key. I tried to go passed 12 weeks and it was HORRIBLE!!! Never again. I’m happy between 10-12 weeks and I refuse to spend my life away just on hair day. It’s very possible to have a successful journey without eating, breathing, sleeping our hair.
For me stretching over 10 weeks doesn't work, if you have really coily 4c with fine strands and that's why I stopped.
Yay Joyce! Keep listening to your hair!
Yes. I am 4c, fine strands, high density. Right now 10 weeks is my max.
So true! I simply cannot stretch out my relaxers. I have thick, coarse, low porosity, 4c hair. Going too long between relaxers my hair becomes very dry, breaks off and looks horrible. I can't do anything with my new growth, can't curl the relaxed ends, can't pull it back or do anything that makes it presentable or manageable long-term while stretching.
Literally no amount of product, oil, grease or deep conditioning softens or detangles my roots well enough to make it manageable between relaxers.
A stylist told me years ago that going too long between relaxers causes breakage but in recent years I went against that advice and suffered for it.
At least for my hair, 6 weeks is pushing it. I did 8 weeks recently and it was horrible. So much shedding and breakage. Honestly, my hair was longest and healthiest when I relaxed it professionally every 4 to 5 weeks because that's how fast I get a good amount of new growth.
For my hair type, you either need to stay on top of relaxers or just go natural. There's no in between. Stretching does more harm than good.
"An overfilled balloon with a rat tail.,".. so funny! I just recently relaxed my hair (5/7/22) after being natural for almost 10 years and although its not even been 2 weeks I have gotten PUSHBACK from some of my associates who are natural. I am now looking for GOOD, HONEST, information about relaxing and came upon your channel and after watching just a couple of your vid's I knew I wanted to subscribe. Just want to say , THANKS as I know filming, editing and posting is in itself a job let alone the upkeep of your beautiful hair. Continued success in your journey. Yours truly, your new subscriber. PS- our journeys are personal & we must take the steps that works best for each one of us.
I am at 12-17 weeks now. I feel that 12 weeks is stretching compared to the 6-8 weeks most relaxed women routinely did. 12 weeks is plenty for me to prevent overlap. But, you truly must do what works for you, if that’s 8 weeks, then that’s what you should do. You have great results, so they speak for themselves……
Yeah! People need to evaluate their hair health based on an individual basis. 12 weeks does give a great line of demarcation which makes relaxing safer!!
I started taking classes online and it's really busy, so I told my hair stylist that she wouldn't be seeing me until I had some time in my schedule. I am home only going out a few times a week, so right now my hair is on the backburner. I'm not living life just for my hair. I'm glad you're happy with the decision you made.
Hey - and that’s ok!!! Again - Haircare has to fit your lifestyle. A degree would mean more to me than great hair ANY DAY.
I go every 8 weeks and that's still tough with my grade of hair. I'm glad you spoke out about this! haha
Love, love, love this video. Everyone’s hair is different, so what works for one sister might not work for the next. I relax every 3 months. Beyond that, my experience is the same as yours. I’ve spent a lot of money trying to find the right deep conditioner and at some point I said “enough already”. Also stretching and sweating from exercising was just a total nightmare. Thank you for sharing your experience with stretching.
So true I sweat through half of hair. It is really annoying. I was just thinking about my next wash day and I'm already tired thinking about it.
*I'm so glad you spoke about this because my hair is extremely thick (my dad is afro-tobagonian) and I tried to stretch my relaxer a couple of times. It was beneficial but at the same time it was too stressful because my roots were like 6 times the size of my relaxed hair and it would get really tangled and course. It really was a hot mess.* 😭
GIRL - THIS. I hate how my roots look close to a relaxer. That is my own insecurity (we shouldn't hate our hair). Worse than how it looked was the maintenance it required. I JUST CAN'T!
@@StyleDomination Yes the maintenance was too much for me. Additionally, the 2 textures just did not look good next to each other. Idk if this makes sense 😂😭
@@Alemarie2023 how much length did you have after the stretch? I did 4 months and the two textures look extremely weird!! I get it! I hope I don't have to trim too much when I get a retouch We'll see
@@gracefullyrachel6573 The absolute most I could stretch my hair for is 3 months. I can't go longer than that because my hair is prone to breakage. I recently went back to my 2 month stretch.
I totally understand and agree with you. I don't use to stretch, I relaxed ever 4 weeks and my hair was doing great. The moment I started stretching, I suffered a lot of hair damaged. No more stretching for me.
Tried it twice and had such a major setback. Glad you finally said it. My hair was not happy
GIRL.
I am convinced that relaxer stretching is an internet conspiracy.
Hahah, jkjk (kinda.) But seriously, anything beyond 8-12 weeks and my hair just starts snapping off. When I was relaxed I felt like I stopped making hair progress when I stretched for so long.
Now that I’m natural, I realize the issue is that what my hair needs in its 4B/4C state is SO different than what it needs when its relaxed. It basically was like trying to do two entirely different hair routines on one head and failing at both.
IT IS A CONSPIRACY!!!!!! Lmao! (Not funny). I’m glad you figured out a routine that works for you. I’m sad that it took me so long! I could have ankle length hair by now! Lol
Thank you! I started stretching my hair after my sister and niece said I was “always” relaxing my hair. My hair was much more healthier and thicker when I did it every 8 to 10 (10 weeks = 2 weeks of busy/lazy) weeks. I’m going back to my old routine. I admit I didn’t have professional advice about relaxing my hair every 8 weeks, but innately I know my own hair. I’m sorry I listened to them.
I had the same issue, recently. 😫 I tried to stretch my relaxers between 12-16 weeks and It wasn't for me. It doesn't help that most TH-camrs with relaxed hair encourage others to stretch for that amount of time. I realized after trying to stretch my relaxers between 12-16 weeks that it wasn't doing anything for my hair. It was actually making it worse. It was breaking off (terribly), I couldn't even wash it without getting a handful of hair, or even detangle it without a pile of hair coming off onto the comb. It felt like I was losing, rather than retaining. It was a constant battle/struggle and because I was so convinced by other women who relax and stretch for weeks and months at a time that I needed to do the same thing, I was struggling to even keep my hair in a healthy state due to stretching for so long.
I finally decided a month ago that my hair needed to be relaxed at the very least by 8 weeks and at the most 10 weeks. That seems to be the limit for me and I couldn't be happier. 😁 My hair is even healthier and I can manage the new growth much better.
Thank you for this video! And It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who felt this way. 😁
I smiled the whole time I read your comment. It is soooo refreshing and empowering to see us relaxed ladies listening to our hair and making decisions for ourselves. CONGRATS!!!!
@@StyleDomination I couldn't agree more! And I can't thank you enough for providing such informative and open content. THANK YOU!! ☺️
Great video. 2 things I stopped doing recently, stretching relaxer past 3 months and using drug store hair products and my hair has never looked better.
Doesn't it depend on the hair texture how long one should stretch?
Looking forward to new videos soon!
Same! I recently stopped using drug store products and it makes a HUGE difference
May I ask what type of products you're using now? Thank you!
@@deglow19 I’m not sure if you were referring to me or her but I’ve incorporated Olaplex no. 3 and 8 into my hair routine. The living proof restore repair leave in is a game changer. All of these products are $30. Luckily the living proof leave in will last forever because you only need like 3 pumps for your entire head. I’ll be adding a high end shampoo into my routine next.
There is a sweet spot for everyone Mine is about 12 weeks 8 weeks is too soon for me
I agree, let’s stop fighting our hair and enjoy the things of life that make us happy and healthy 💕
Yes! More imoirtant ways to spend time than fighting with hair!
Finally! I watched a TH-cam hair care video the whole way through. You are intellectual and knowledgeable, I could listen to you all day!
This video is long over due, thank you so much for speaking on this I too have stopped stretching and my hair is thriving like NEVER before.I get so many compliments now its great. love love love the video ITS PERFECT.....
Agreed! And as such, I have lost a lot of hair. I am currently going through a terrible breakage (from 16 inches to 1 inch 😢😭). Accident or simply not relaxing exactly when I had to? Over proteined? I going back to my old days, old routine, and doing everything myself. I'm listening with an open heart, mind and wig on my head while my hair grows back.
So sorry this happened to you. 💙
This was a really great video Dominique. You sound so confident and assured in this video and I can tell that u have truly "grown" past the haters. I particularly love your messaging about living life and not just living for your hair. Geez.....that position is truly tiring 🤦♀️🤦♀️ Keep up the good work!!
You read my mind.... ALL of this. The older I get the more I value my time. You’re telling the truth about the conditioner issue too, I use quality products and refuse to use them all up on new growth. I stopped stretching this summer.
I totally agree with you. Stretching with 4C texture hair is just a disaster for me. The texture differences are so pronounced and place too much stress on the line of demarcation which leads to a lot of breakage.
Thank you so much for this video. I felt so bad each time I had to relax my “4z” type of hair at 6/7 weeks because I see youtubers stretching theirs for months. I deep condition under a hair steamer every week and used salon/ highend products of which you recommended in one of your videos and still can’t go past 7 weeks without hair breaking, puffiness and dryness. I try to stay away from products with protein hoping it will help. Incorporating Olaplex 4-in1 moisture mask has helped to some extent. Thanks again! I needed someone to say this!
So glad you are trying things out Ana learning your hair!!! It means a lot that you watch and give your own take on things!
Thank you for this video. I was a 4-month stretcher for YEARS until I realized that, that 4th month was actually causing more harm than good. I will be touching up at exactly 12 weeks now. I feel like that's my sweet spot...glad a fellow relaxed gal with healthy hair is still on YT to give great advice. Thanks :)
Hmm I'm an every 6 week relaxer. I'm taking better care of my hair since I lost a friend tragically. I wanted to bring something to life in the face of a horrible death. I know it probably sounds ridiculous. Anyway my hair is doing just fine at 6 weeks. Do you suggest I just pay close attention to breakage and stretch as long as I can? I dont know what to do.
My bad, I was getting them every 8 weeks. Now I'm on the 8th week.
Stretching is real! And I felt it when you spoke about the stringy ends and dry hair. It'll be interesting to know why our hair reacts that way when it is in a state of stretching. But this video was needed
WOW, this is so real and true! I had to face this when I switched from natural back to permed. The back lash from friends and family was awful but I stood up for what worked for me. Then when I divulged, I was not stretching it was like I declared war on black women. My hair is fine and stretching caused severe breakage even with protective styling, extra hair care products and wrapping (OMG I lived in my head wrap). I was soooo over the all the work. I now permed 6-8 weeks with Phytospecific and it feels healthier and has grown longer than ever. Counter intuitive to what everyone says to do I know but this is what works to keep my hair on my head. I have received so many great tips from your channel and you taught me to listen to my hair. Thank you for posting this and from the comments it seems like others are also on board with it.
yeah i can’t stretch my hair longer than 4 weeks i try to stretch longer bc it’s not recommended to texturizer your hair that common but my hair grows too fast and it looks crazy right after 3 weeks and 4-5 weeks i have to touch up
I thought i was the only one on earth who relaxed at 4 weeks!!!!
I really appreciate your honesty here. When I relaxed my hair, 8 weeks was the golden time for me as well. I never got good results when I tried to stretch it longer than that and couldn’t see how other people were either. Thank you for being honest and real.
I also noticed the ytubers who are longtime stretcher never really enjoy their hair. There are so many months between touch ups they are always under wigs, braids or constantly in buns. If you don't want to resort to the aforementioned closer relaxers or keratin treatments in between are the only solutions I can think of 😕.
I have stretched my relaxer up to 5 months but my curls are not too tight. I totally agree with you we need to know our hair and what works best for our hair. One hat does not fit all and same with our hair regimen.
I appreciate your honesty and I can relate I stretch my relaxer as long as I can that gives me time to strengthen it and I just put it in a protective style, it is a battle🥺
Do whatever works best for you!!! Sounds like you’re listening to your hair and treating it well!
AMEN AMEN AMEN..ME 2, SISTER!😇🙏💯
I had the same experience. My hair would TELL ME when to relax. And for me, 8 weeks was the MAX. If I try to push past that, breakage would result and my hair would look different.
I agree with you . Not everyone wants to deal with Natural hair been their done that. At one point my 4c hair was coming out like I had Cancer on wash day dealing with all the products . So I went back to Relax hair you inspired me to listen to my hair and find the right products .I wanted to invest in Olaplex but my funds was low so I made it a goal after seeing your channel Thank you my best investment for my hair we all have hair journeys and I appreciate you sharing yours it’s help me a lot 🥰
When I was relaxed my hair neveeeeer liked when I stretched my relaxers! My hair would break off in random points. Overall, my hair was not a fan - No matter what I did. I was a 6-7 week girl - Like Clockwork - And my relaxed hair was in a way better condition, longer, super full bodied, and it was overall happiest as compared to when tried to stretch it. I achieved back bra strap length by 10th grade because I stopped stretching relaxers for only 1 year.
After 4 to 6 weeks I have to use a braided protective hairstyle to get thru the next 4 to 6 weeks
Certain texture/grade CANNOT "stretch" pass a period of time. It cause shedding and breakage.
Ain’t that the truth. I consider my natural hair 3c-4a and I do not stretch well. And sometimes it’s not about hair texture. It’s more about lifestyle and the actual “want to do it”.
Amen
No wonder my hair is dull and my ends are severely dry. Will go back to 7 weeks
Hi Dominique, before finding you and other relaxed TH-camrs I felt really lonely in my journey. Specially living here in Australia, where it's really hard to find a salon that performs hair relaxing. A big thank you for sharing your tips and making us relaxed girls feel like we belong. Much love from Australia!❤️🦘
Are you in a major city?
Thanks for saying this. Girl, when I say I had the exact same experience and no one else is talking about this so I was feeling like “why doesn’t stretching work for me?!?” I am just going to listen to my hair and be done with the stretching 👍🏾🤞🏾
YASSS MARCI! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
This is my favorite video you have ever made. The “I felt like I was spending too much of my life fighting my hair” comment 🙌🏾. We only have one life to live.
I can relate to this. I have 4c hair, texture is way too different from my relaxed hair and because I didn't adapt my hair care routine when stretching, my hair would get matted, dry and break off. My hair thrived when I touched up every 8 /10 weeks.
Same thing applies to texlaxing, I like how thick people's hair look when but I feel like my hair just wants to be relaxed.
Thanks Dom for this much needed perspective! Stretching is such an individual thing - even the definition of stretching can vary. I’m 13 months into my healthy relaxed hair journey. I used to get a relaxer touch up every 6 weeks, but thanks to the Pandemic, that all changed! I did my research and found you and others and I learned how to properly care for my relaxed hair between professional touch ups. I confess - I didn’t have a good regimen and it showed. I’m still finding my way and figuring out what works for me and I’m doing well - I’m really happy with my hair and how it’s thrived these past 13 months. My hair seems to grow on the slower side of the average 1/4 to 1/2 inch monthly rate, and my relaxer touch up sweet spot is 12 to 14 weeks, but I’ll listen to my hair each cycle and do what my hair needs.
Waw!! We share the EXACT SAME HAIR JOURNEY....
Proud of you, Sandra! You have made leaps and bounds with your hair!
Years ago I tried the twice a year idea, and that was the worst idea that I ever tried. I only relax my hair four times a year (every 3 months). My hair is at my waistline.
I looooove how Universe works ! I was looking for how to stop breackage , and this pop up , i realize that i start to see my hair breaking when i have new growth of 3 months , so this is the sing i need !!!!
Lol same here✌
I protective style- wigs, crochet, which helps me stretch for at least 16 weeks. Anytime I’m not protective styling I’m kind of through by 12 weeks so that’s what helps me stretch
After listening to this video again. I hear you loud and clear, our hair does not define who we really are. I have come to the same realization, and I relaxed my hair 2 months ago. I am so happy and have so much more time to enjoy other things in my life. What a blessing and a joy to hear you put that out there. Hopefully many women will come around, if they are having these same issues. If not enjoy, whatever way they are the happiest. After all it is a choice. Happier relaxed. I was happy as a natural for many years also. Needed to fit my lifestyle change. Fantastic video. Beautiful hair.
Loved this. Thank you! My stylist gets sooo mad at me when I wait too long to see her. She says "Not for your hair, honey!". I agree. I'm an 8-week person that has stretched to 12 weeks. ¡No bueno! Years ago, I went every 6 weeks. My hair has always been shoulder length or longer and pretty healthy. I dunno...🤷🏾♀️
I feel I need to add to this. I was one who used to relax at 6 weeks then I stopped because I used to feel guilty not going longer since there was barely any growth so I revamped and tried to learn my hair plus I would get relaxers if special events were coming up. I have tried stretching to 12 weeks and though a challenge, I tried to do shorter times. Reality is there is nothing much going on these days. This time around I could not get go beyond 9 weeks because it was tangling and breaking so I said let me just go to the salon. I'm waiting to see how long I can go for this time around but would like to get a relaxer around my birthday the end of January. We'll see. xoxo from Barbados.
Hey! A fellow Bajan! I think trial and error is really important! Do what works best for you!! And girl - how you relax in that Bajan heat....you are a strong one. HAHAHA! xo
@@StyleDomination I tryyyy 😭
@@krislatoya7556 awwwww
I’m happy that you addressed this because I used to stretch for 6 months and it worked for a while my hair retained an enormous amount of length but fast forward to 2021-22 my hair texture have changed it became more coarser so stretching for me has been difficult for me especially managing the two textures so now I only stretch for 3 months max sometimes 4 months but this video is very educational and well made good job Dom 🙌 thank you for always sharing your tips and tricks with us we love you 💕
You relaxed beauties are giving me the best hair care advice as a straight natural. I love the content and support.
Soooo much help!! I’m going to The store to get my relaxer right now👏🏾😊👍🏾
I thought it was just me that had this issue. I saw so many saying stretching was best but It gave me too much anxiety waiting and going out with rubbish looking hair. For me it was the best thing to stop stretching it wasn't for me.
Thank you for sharing xxx
Girl...thank you this. Thank you for being honest. I learnt the hard way about stretching. I live in the tropics and tried it...I figure it might depend on your location. I live in the West Indies. I can't even get to 12 weeks. My hairdresser had to tell me that my hair and texture are different from others. So 8 or 9 weeks is the most I can do. It caused breakage and thinning edges. Not me again.
I just want to say thanks for addressing this.
Wow. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing with such honesty and integrity. I think for me and so many black women, depending where we are, the problem with no longer stretching is finding a hair stylist who will ensure they are applying the relaxer properly and only to the new growth. So many stylists these days are reckless. I usually relax at the 3 month mark but also because I want to give my stylist some room to work with. It’s a shame.
Hey Ashley Nicole! This is actually a video I’m creating “Terrible Hairstylists and the havoc they wreak”!!!! Lmao! Thanks for commenting! ❤️
@@StyleDomination Omg😆wow! I can’t wait. It’s so needed!
Ready for that video because unfortunately there are some majorly awful hairstylists out here. It always shocks me that they don’t know how to properly care for hair. Smh. 🤦🏾♀️
I made this same decision after my hairdresser had a chat with me.
I thought I had to big chop because of the breakage! turns out I just wasn't relaxing frequently enough and the line of demarcation was becoming an issue
Exact same thing happened to me.
I think the same applies to wash schedules. Waiting several weeks to wash hair isn’t always helpful. I could really relate to this.
Honestly, this makes so much sense. When I was relaxed I stretched, thinking it was the healthy thing to do...all the while my hair was breaking off and looking a hot mess the whole time.
I have fine 4b strands. My hair is very prone to tangling because of how fine the hair strands are but I have a lot of hair. I tried stretching to 12 weeks and it was a nightmare. I now know that 9 weeks is my cutoff point. Looser hair textures can handle the stretching better than I can.
I clicked on your video to make sure isn’t wasn’t just me. I am currently 19 weeks post relaxer and I just washed my hair and it’s horrible. I will NEVER stretch this long again. I also will not be into all these protective styles either. It’s time for a hair routine and stick with it in order to see results and that includes NOT stretching past 12 weeks. Thanks for a great video❤️
Speaking of working out my hair stylist told me to spray dry shampoo BEFORE working out and it helps so much! If anyone sweats in their head a lot like I do, give it a try.
Thanks for sharing. ..will give it a try
Yesss! Someone said it. Totally detrimental to my hair. I have to relax every 8 weeks of my hair just breaks off even with protective styles.
I agree. I stretched 20 weeks after a virgin relaxer and it was not beneficial as far as retaining length. I will be relaxing quarterly going forward.
Sometimes the "goals" and ideals that us black women set for each other are just self-depricating. There's really no benefit to stretching a relaxer, I think so long as the chemical is only applied on new growth. We can be so hard on ourselves, we need to give ourselves a break 🥰.
I couldn’t agree more. Well-said!
OMG this video spoke volumes - like music for my soul. My stylist never returned post lockdown so learning hair care was very new & challenging for me. I ended having to chop several inches April 2021 (went from mid back length to shoulder length) and that hack was vital but it destroyed my confidence and many women in my life don't understand how my hair is my crown. I take pride in healthy hair (I don't wear weaves, wigs or lace fronts; not judging btw it's just not for me). I stopped stretching - anytime after 10 weeks works for me and I was so hard on myself initially for not lasting to 12 weeks like I used too but I had to change my hair care routine according this chaotic world we currently live in. So thank youu for this video - you made me feel better about my hair care choices.
It is so interesting that you made this video. I actually stopped stretching for three months because my hair was so difficult to manage. I started stretching for 10 weeks instead, and my hair was a lot easier to deal with. In addition I had plenty of new growth at 10 weeks, so I wasn’t concerned that I was relaxing too often. I hope many people watch this video and realize that they don’t have to stretch as long, especially if it’s doing more harm than good. Thanks for sharing!
I'm with you on this! Literally had to come to this realization myself recently. I used to do 16 weeks when my hair was longer then I got a bob and 16 weeks was hard! And I'm so tender headed. I just got my relaxer at 15 weeks yesterday and I was like naw I think I gotta do this at 12 weeks lol it was too much!
3mos😱 I wouldn’t even wear a protective style that long. I have natural hair that only thrives with heat, steaming and oils. I went back old school🥰 Glad you found your niche too Sis.
Girl, you are talking FACTS. I manage to stretch for 10 weeks. But I encounter the same challenges you described: breaking, shedding, difficult to comb, dryness. I am trying all kinds of new routines: extra wide seamless combs, a gazillion detanglers, LCO-on-steriods, and absolutely no styling...just plaited up until the next wash day. I am able to do that because I don't have to go into the office anymore. But once that changes, I will need a new plan. Even with all of these, I still lose alot of hair on wash day. 😔. Anyway, I am not quite ready to throw in the towel. Still trying to find a happy medium, because I also see the benefits of stretching.
Due to TH-cam, I started stretching, and due to the breakage and hair thinning I stopped. I now relax every 2 months and my hair went from shoulder to bra strap length.
Thank you so much for this video. I have found this to be true for me when I had a relaxer previously, and now that I am relaxed again, I can only go about 8 weeks before my hair starts breaking off.
Hi Dom!! And what a treat seeing Dom's Maker. :) This is a great conversation. Another TH-camr just did a video about the 'relax hair rules' that she breaks.
Rule # 1 - Not everything is for everyone!! You have super thick hair, so I can see why stretching is a STRUGGLE! I use to think the same...no way could I ever go 3 months without a relaxer....AND NOW, after switching to "texlaxing" for the past few years (no defiant line of demarcation) and with my love of the two flat twist (that actually works better when the hair has some texture), I can go 3 months like a CHAMP!
Air drying would make my hair look and feel like straw. I only do that if or when I am on the beach or in extremely hot weather. I just dump some extra leave in conditioner on my hair and it forms it own natural curl pattern when it dries and it works! Otherwise, roll me up and sit me under that hair dryer sweetheart. I am here to do my time! :)
My hair is also a lot less dense and shorter (a bit longer than an ear length bob which I love, love, LOVE) than yours, so again...drying and styling methods differ. I agree that stretching for 3-4 months does produce quite a bit of new growth and inches, but then I usually trim most of it off because my preference is to keep it at a certain length for the appearance of fullness, for manageability..... and less tangles! (finer hair produces more tangles which leads to more breakage).
It's a vicious cycle. :)
Heyyyy Liam! ❤️ Thank you do for this great comment! And what a great idea “Relaxer Rules I Break”. I should do that because I’ve been breaking a lot of them lately. Lol