Derek has done well. As of 2024, it's been 20+ years since he made his videos. He's a 36 year old college graduate now, living in the suburbs of Chicago with his long-time boyfriend, their dog, and he enjoys gardening.
Thank you for sharing this video and giving an update on Derek. I hope at some point he will share the chapters of his life from 16 until present. I know it would be impactful and uplifting for so many.
@@NewG101 God bless him? Where did that come from? Derek admitted he left God. Probably because he recognized that God neither defended nor supported his life decisions. In fact God has made it clear that he is against homosexual behavior. So why would you ask, and I suppose expect, that God would 'bless' him?
I’m hoping by now you realize your parent’s behavior is about them; but it’s not about you. Still, they’ve done something’s well in life, because otherwise you wouldn’t have turned out so incredibly great. You, my friend, are an exceptionally smart, self aware, kind and courageous young man. In a few years your parents will become large enough of mind and spirit to become ashamed of their response, and ashamed of their treatment of this son. Your response to them will tell you everything about yourself, so maybe start now deciding now who you will be on that day. I’m profoundly grateful and proud of you because you’ve already made this world a better place.
This broke my heart when I first saw it so many years ago. You are a truly beautiful and sensitive ... smart and even wise soul, who deserves all the love and acceptance the world has to offer. I "loved YOU for who you are", back in 2009; so did thousands of others who wept their way through your videos.
ProFriemd - Thank you so much for the update on Derek. He was so out-in-the-cold as he took on his truth. His courage at 16 stood him in good stead in shaping his character. Life is a hard road to travel but without personal integrity it will be wretched. I send him my best wishes and brotherly affection.
Derek, I salute your courage. You’re entitled to be yourself and you speak from the heart. I never found the strength to tell my mom before she passed away though I think she knew? Much love and respect to you from DavidH
Knowledge is power! If family, religion, or culture makes coming out difficult for anyone that you know, the following blog post about homosexuality may provide valuable help: “Homophobia: To the Community” homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html If anyone needs support against religious, social, or cultural abuses, this can help them: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological nature of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Derek is a sweetheart. I would be so honored to have him in my family. I am old enough to be his great grandfather, and applaud his integrity; am so soory his parents were so wounded and crippled as to miss the joy and beauty of their incredible son! By the way, the "Watch this before you come out" is spot on! It is terribly important to plan carefully and be prepared fort he very best and also for the very worst. Ubique wisdom in the cautionary message. i would really really like to know where Derek is now, and want to know that he is OK; wisdom way beyond his years!
I LISTENED TO YOUR STORY AND I AM SO HEART BROKEN. I GUESS I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW ANYONE WOULDN'T BE PROUD TO CALL YOU THEIR SON. YOU SOUND LIKE AN AMAZING YOUNG MAN WHO HAS SUCH A LOVING SPIRIT AND CARING HEART. I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY EVENTUALLY AND YOU FIND YOUR WAY THRU LIFE WITH GREAT SUCCESS. YOUR AMAZING--RUFUS HAS SPOKEN
I know that was really hard for you. I wish you would have had better support. You are strong! You will be stronger and have better insight. Thank you for sharing. Love you.
Hy Derek, I'm 70, thing will get better. You just have to hang in there. I came out about the time when people started to except it. There is going to be a lot of people that just can't accept it. I find it is best to steer clear of them. You live your life and let them live there life. I no that it will be hard to leave your out of your life, but if you try to keep them in your life, you will not be free to be the true you. Good lock in your life.
Bless you Derek. By the looks of it you're pushing 20. I so hope your parents have grown up by now. I see you are no longer on you tube; still you will be in my thoughts. You no doubt have learned by now, that you are far from being alone. You are a fine human being and you will grow immensely from this challenge. Simply forgive those that can't understand and resist falling into their web of shallow negativity. You're in a position to much good in your life. Thank you for giving so of yourself.
You seem like a strong guy, and you posting this video is testament of your strength. You are an inspiration for people coming out as they have a different perspective. I can see you are really hurt by your parents reaction, but just remember you're smart and good looking guy and I believe that happiness is a short time away!
1:26 Derek. I watched your video for the first time today. It’s been 15 years since you posted it so I’m a little behind for commenting but I’m compelled to comment. Listening to you brought me to tears. I came out to my family and a select group of friends after 40 + years of hiding my identity and hating myself for being what I was. I’m so glad that according to the comments I’ve read, you are doing well. I hope your relationship with your parents has improved and I wish you love, happiness and contentment. ❤ Mike from PA
My heart cries for your what you have endured, Derek! You're a beautiful, wonderful, and brave young man. I wish you so much love and happiness and joy!! Profriend, you have done a most wonderful thing by bringing to light and sharing Derek's story. I'm so very grateful to have shared in this experience, especially it's very happy ending! Much love to you both!! 🌹💖
I am now 54 years old, I have been with my husband for 30 years now. My parents were very accepting of me being gay. But I was still very afraid of coming out. My dad told me he didn't care if I was gay, just as long as I was healthy and happy. I was lucky. Your parents will come around. Just do what makes you happy and live life, be kind to others, and things do get better.
Powerful video, made me tear up the deeper I got into the story. My coming out story had a much happier ending and that was in 1976. Disappointing that kids need to go through this pain.
Even at the age you were I think in your situation I would have returned the mocking and told my mother what a disappointing failure she was as a parent. Much easier to say that now I'm older, I guess.
To drive a car you have study and learn the rules, then pass a test; and look at all the awful drivers out there. but to be a parent,....there's no test; no licence some kids are lucky and have good parents.
@@CCGR-2024 Knowledge is power! If family, religion, or culture makes coming out difficult for anyone that you know, the following blog post about homosexuality may provide valuable help: “Homophobia: To the Community” homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html If anyone needs support against religious, social, or cultural abuses, this can help them: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological nature of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Hi Derek, thank you for sharing this with all of us here. I wish that I was much younger and attending the same school or living in the same neighborhood as you. We could have supported each other. I see that this was posted nearly 16 months ago. You should now be close to 18. I hope that in the meantime your parents, especially your mom, have come to accept you, and realize what a loving and caring son that you are.
Knowledge is power! If family, religion, or culture makes coming out difficult for anyone that you know, the following blog post about homosexuality may provide valuable help: “Homophobia: To the Community” homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html If anyone needs support against religious, social, or cultural abuses, this can help them: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological nature of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Thanks for sharing.... So sorry to see how your "Coming Out" turned out with your parents rejection... I can feel your pain.... wish I could be there to hug you... Stay strong... Hope you make a lot of good friends out there to support and love you for the good sensitive person you are...
My gawd Derek ... my heart breaks for you. You are strong and will make things work.!! What so, so hurts me is to listen to the hurt in your voice because of your parents reaction to you. You're their son for God's sake.!!! I hope you're ok today.? Take care of yourself.
Its Derek! I remember watching him when I was in high school. he gave me a lot of courage at a really dark time in my life. he lived not too far from me in the chicago land area.
Knowledge is power! If family, religion, or culture makes coming out difficult for anyone that you know, the following blog post about homosexuality may provide valuable help: “Homophobia: To the Community” homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html If anyone needs support against religious, social, or cultural abuses, this can help them: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological nature of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Man, that was really hard to watch. I so relate to this young man's emotions. It was completely honest, off the cuff and from the heart. I hope life finds him doing well these days in all aspects. Appreciate his courage for sharing and wanting to help others.
If everyone's family came to terms with them being gay it would be easy to deal with . You are an example of a situation where they have not accepted you for who you are . This vid can let others in a similar situation know they are not alone . i know I will never be accepted by everyone . Thank you for sharing .
It's good you made this video. it's just a reality for a few of us. seeing this made me wish I could take away the pain you were going through. My mother never accepted me and at 16 I had to leave my home and start a life of my own. I didn't see my mom until a few years ago and still no change. I see you are doing good and that makes me feel good. Wishing you all the best.
at 5:04 he mentions the mother's quotes. that's sad. forgive her kid, and you can move on and be happy. so healthy of this kid to accept himself at such an early age.
Hello Derek, Wow ! That's a lot of pain to have gone through at 16. I only hope there was a light for you at the end of that tunnel. Good luck to you if your anything like your sixteen year old self, then I would assume your Ok.
Please be strong don’t worry about them it’s your life. You are a hero . You’re honest you’re not alone in this. Love yourself be strong . Most of us have been there . You’re amazing.
Derek, I can't begin to tell you how sad your story made me. To think that someone who is supposed to act like a parent responds more like a bratty sibling. While your love for your family is heartfelt and unconditional, your mother's is not. To say she is selfish and immature would be putting it mildly. I can only hope that as time has passed and you have moved out, that you can get a better perspective on what a good parent should be. You may have to make your own family. Good luc
At 25 or 26 I hope you have a good life. Hope your parents have excepted who you are. I’m sure as you were at 16, you’re an awesome young man. Love is unconditional. I hope your parents have come to realize that.
I'm just seeing your video now, I came out to my parents this last June, my mother had the same reaction, my dad to my great surprise was indifferent with the whole thing. stay strong, thanks for your video
Hi Kyle - give your mom time. She may come around eventually. If she doesn't, remember that many of us have "chosen family" that fill the void left by parents who reject their gay children. If you're not yet 18 and still living at home, it's probably best to lay low until you can leave home safely.
@@ProFriend I hope she will, but im not holding my breath. its not going to stop me now. I wish I had these kind of videos when I was 15, I tried to come out at 15 to her cause I was nieve and thought she'd be cool with it being her only child, her reaction scared me back into the closet for another 20 years, im 35 now and have a wife and kids, so it's complicated now. I came out to my wife last year, she's been most understanding. but that is why these videos are needed, for the young people, so they don't make major life decisions that eventually cause more pain to others. I've seen many videos of men in my situation, and sad to say it doesn't end well.
I'm proud of you for being yourself. I know its hard but you are a very brave guy. Ignore the negative comments you hear and be proud of who you are. You deserve to be happy and to be loved no matter what.
Very courageous young man. I wish I had had the determination and guts to come out at that age. I was a coward but you are not. You are a perfect example of dignity and pride.
th-cam.com/video/6zbQHbPyJOg/w-d-xo.html Knowledge is power! If family, religion, or culture makes coming out difficult for anyone that you know, the following blog post about homosexuality may provide valuable help: “Homophobia: To the Community” homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html If anyone needs support against religious, social, or cultural abuses, this can help them: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological nature of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Hi Derek, I just watched this video and I have to tell you how proud I felt after watching. I didn't, couldn't come out till I was your age now. 29 I'm thinking. I wanted to reach out to you and give you a guy that might be able to help. But now you have a boyfriend and doing well I understand. I also am so sorry you had to go through what you did as a kid. Anyway, it's been great watching you on TH-cam. I hope you get to read this. James
I am sad for you and I’m also sad for myself. It is so hard watching that somebody is refusing to learn anything like your mother, who just does not get itCall mom does not see your being genuine and soft and, yeah, beautiful. Hugs Martin
Great to read you came through very well and found your man ! Well done and hope you have all the love and joy one could wish for - Luc / U.K. (Belgian though , 52 and happily married to guy I met 20 years ago)
Derek, I just saw your video 15 years later. It was heartbreaking to hear your parents reaction, particularly that of your mother. It is not always easy for parents to come to terms with a child's homosexuality. However, for a parent to belittle and mock a child like that is completely unacceptable. It must have been very difficult for you to talk about. Your sincerity and honesty in sharing that experience was truly inspiring. I am glad that your are doing well now. God bless you.
You are such a brave and courageous soul!! Take pride in yourself that you are speaking and living your true authentic self. I’m sorry your experience with your parents was a negative one. Just know that your story will help and touch others. I wish you nothing but good health and happiness on your journey moving forward! You deserve everything good and don’t forget it! 🙏
I know you came out a long time ago and I sure hope your life has gotten amazing. I came out at 35 and a virgin till then, but life has gotten fantastic for me. Sorry about your parents original reaction but I hope they've evolved from their ignorance. Their values about life are NO better than yours. They are just 2 other people on this planet, just like you and I are. Best of luck to you. You're a handsome and very intelligent young man
It’s mid June 2018 as I looked to ur coming out story in 2009; wish having news what happened after? I had big argument with brother,,letting him out of my life not answering phone, reply or birthday wish for about a year was the best punishment I gave him, wish you done the same. BRAVO
I am very moved by this very old video with universal experiences. How wonderful that he can keep moving even with the non-supportive parents. Hope the parents are doing better and it is beautiful that Derek seems to be doing better
Derek was probably the first gay teen figure I admired whose videos helped me to understand myself when I was a teenager as well, he barely knows how much gratitude I still feel for him today.
I really feel for you, your parents should be more understanding you sound like a really good person. If they can,t acept you its them with the problem. Moving out may be the only answer are there any other relatives that could take you in till either you finish school or they see the error of their respective ways it seem to me you love them but their love is conditional
Just finished watching. So sorry your parents weren't accepting. I hope it's gotten better for you. If it hasn't, rest assured that it will. Do your best to not let the reaction of others define who u are. Much happiness to u.
You are great! The way you are handling your parents reaction is very responsible and mature. With the level head you have I wish you well. Remember if it took you 3yr to adjust it may take them more than 1 yr but live your life regardless. Hugs
@Chonch Don’t be a downer douche, bro, a happy ending is within everyone’s grasp, but you need to believe in yourself, and focus on moving forward. Shitty parents are not a life sentence.
I wish (a lot!) that Derek would do a personal update on his life. I've watch a gazillion coming-out videos and found this one to be one of the more powerfully moving of them all. Wondering so much if his parents ever came around, or not. If they didn't, how he's coping. What a sweet, mature lad he is in this video!
So many foul, obscene, insulting things I could say about his mother for the way she spoke and treated him....she seems very small and under-developed mentally, culturally, socially, spiritually. She doesn't deserve such a fine son. She deserves never to hear from him again until she begs the son's forgiveness and admits her sins against him.
Hi Derek, just came upon you site. I'm sure or at least hope there have been a ton of changes in your life ALL GOOD. I would love to have long talks with you. Please remember, "At the end of the day, all we have is who we are" I love you
Hi Tom, as it says in the description, this isn't Derek's channel, just a repost of an older video we hope will help others. He's a junior in college now and doing well.
Derek- i am sorry you were not accepted then. perhaps now is ok and you have finished school and have friends who love and support you to be the AWESOME gay man you are.. you are strong in body, mind, soul and HEART. God bless you young man/ your heart is strong so use it in your life. i am proud of you, sending you 10 hugs,
Hey Derek, I watched a lot of coming out vids during my teenage years and found a lot of comfort from viewing them. It helped me in accepting that I'm gay myself. Having said that, I wish I came across your vid back then too: your story (at the time) didn't have the happiest outcome. You made this vid during a difficult part of your life and your words clearly expressed that. I guess what resonated so much with me though was that you had the strength regardless to accept yourself and make this video to help others... in 2009 no less! Even though it was only 12-13 years ago, overall sentiments toward LGBT+ people were WAY less accepting than they are now. A lot of comments already said this, but you were super brave for making this video and I know a bunch of people in the closet really appreciated your honest experience, even if it wasn't the most positive. I'm happy to hear that you're living a much more fulfilling life now with the man you love. I myself am 25 years old and not 100% out (combination of self-esteem issues and extended family in middle east that's making me hesitant to fully be 'out') but I hope to get to that point relatively soon, live my life, and find someone for me too. Thanks to ProFriend for sharing these vids with us and a special thanks once more to Derek for telling your story- it helped more people than you could ever imagine. Not sure if you actually visit this vid and read the comments (especially after all this time), but just felt like writing all this. Hope you're doing well at the present.
I've never commented on a video before. I had tough conversation with a friend in a very similar predicament. If you would allow me to share with you what I told him, you dont need a group or a family...you only need one person to keep you from feeling alone. Find that one person. Stay strong.
Derick you are such a wonderful person your parent's are sure to come round be patient if i were your father i would just say i love you so much and accept you just the way you are lots of love chris
It was his parents who needed to see a therapist, not him! Amazing that he had the strength, dignity and courage to put this out on you tube! I hope he's found someone awesome, loving and careing, to share his life with! A saying goes " Ignorance is Bliss!" It doesn't work with his parents! In their case "Ignorance is evil!"
Feel so sorry for bud. I’ve had something similar. But am doing ok now. I’m sure you will be stronger and your more mature than your folks. I do hope they will see they’re missing a wonderful son.
It’s a shame that some people react this way but you are very brave and dealing with this well enough. It’s best to accept the way you are and live your life according to your own values! I wish you had been our son... things would have been very different for you here. Wishing you all the best in your future.
Holy shit... that was heart wrenching ... I had tears in my eys. Your mom should grow a pair... just saying... Thank god my mom didn't react that way... although before she knew, she thought all gay people were pedaphyles. And when she finally knew her son was... she decided to read alot of books about it After that she was very supportive... Dang... I sure hope you had a good ending to this too! You are a courageous young man.
Derek after all these years since you posted I came across your video and was really moved. I can tell you that you are very bright and sincere. I felt so moved by your video. You’re still a young fellow and I suspect very good looking. I hope everythng worked out for you. I must admit I couldn’t belive the way your mother was treating you. It would be interesting to know how things worked out. I hope as good as you really obviously deserved.
Awww man I feel so sorry for what you’re going through. Praying for you, please stay strong. My new husband’s family is giving him a horrible time right now. They do not support our marriage. I came out to my Mom when I was 16, none of my family has a problem with me being gay and they all support Armaine and I. Derek, you’re going to have loads of love and joy in your life.
th-cam.com/video/AlI6Hf53Y4Y/w-d-xo.html Knowledge is power! If family, religion, or culture makes coming out difficult for anyone that you know, the following blog post about homosexuality may provide valuable help: “Homophobia: To the Community” homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html If anyone needs support against religious, social, or cultural abuses, this can help them: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological nature of religions. neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
I hope you make it keep your head up I'm proud of you hope you're doing OK and I hope you're folks except you for who you are hugs to you stay strong it'll work out
Derek has done well. As of 2024, it's been 20+ years since he made his videos. He's a 36 year old college graduate now, living in the suburbs of Chicago with his long-time boyfriend, their dog, and he enjoys gardening.
Thank you for sharing this video and giving an update on Derek. I hope at some point he will share the chapters of his life from 16 until present. I know it would be impactful and uplifting for so many.
Thank you for this wonderful news. So nice to hear good news for a change...
Thanks for sharing. Happy to hear Derek is happy with his bf today. God bless him.
@@NewG101 God bless him? Where did that come from? Derek admitted he left God. Probably because he recognized that God neither defended nor supported his life decisions. In fact God has made it clear that he is against homosexual behavior. So why would you ask, and I suppose expect, that God would 'bless' him?
@@lawrencebhowie How does God feel about you Lawrence?
I’m hoping by now you realize your parent’s behavior is about them; but it’s not about you. Still, they’ve done something’s well in life, because otherwise you wouldn’t have turned out so incredibly great. You, my friend, are an exceptionally smart, self aware, kind and courageous young man. In a few years your parents will become large enough of mind and spirit to become ashamed of their response, and ashamed of their treatment of this son. Your response to them will tell you everything about yourself, so maybe start now deciding now who you will be on that day. I’m profoundly grateful and proud of you because you’ve already made this world a better place.
This broke my heart when I first saw it so many years ago. You are a truly beautiful and sensitive ... smart and even wise soul, who deserves all the love and acceptance the world has to offer. I "loved YOU for who you are", back in 2009; so did thousands of others who wept their way through your videos.
ProFriemd - Thank you so much for the update on Derek. He was so out-in-the-cold as he took on his truth. His courage at 16 stood him in good stead in shaping his character. Life is a hard road to travel but without personal integrity it will be wretched. I send him my best wishes and brotherly affection.
So much emotion in your voice, Derek. I wish I could give you the biggest hug.
Derek, I salute your courage. You’re entitled to be yourself and you speak from the heart. I never found the strength to tell my mom before she passed away though I think she knew? Much love and respect to you from DavidH
I salute this kid. I hope he makes it.
Knowledge is power! If family, religion, or culture makes coming out difficult for anyone that you know, the following blog post about homosexuality may provide valuable help: “Homophobia: To the Community” homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html
If anyone needs support against religious, social, or cultural abuses, this can help them: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological nature of religions.
neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Derek is a sweetheart. I would be so honored to have him in my family. I am old enough to be his great grandfather, and applaud his integrity; am so soory his parents were so wounded and crippled as to miss the joy and beauty of their incredible son! By the way, the "Watch this before you come out" is spot on! It is terribly important to plan carefully and be prepared fort he very best and also for the very worst. Ubique wisdom in the cautionary message. i would really really like to know where Derek is now, and want to know that he is OK; wisdom way beyond his years!
Derek I'm reading this 8 yrs later ,I'm so proud of you,tear in my eye. I wish life ,love ,and happiness for you.
I LISTENED TO YOUR STORY AND I AM SO HEART BROKEN. I GUESS I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW ANYONE WOULDN'T BE PROUD TO CALL YOU THEIR SON. YOU SOUND LIKE AN AMAZING YOUNG MAN WHO HAS SUCH A LOVING SPIRIT AND CARING HEART. I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY EVENTUALLY AND YOU FIND YOUR WAY THRU LIFE WITH GREAT SUCCESS. YOUR AMAZING--RUFUS HAS SPOKEN
Keep Strong little Brother for a Great Life is ahead for You !
I'm so pleased to learn you are now happy and living with your boyfriend. Much love to you both. XXX X
I know that was really hard for you. I wish you would have had better support. You are strong! You will be stronger and have better insight. Thank you for sharing. Love you.
Hy Derek, I'm 70, thing will get better. You just have to hang in there. I came out about the time when people started to except it. There is going to be a lot of people that just can't accept it. I find it is best to steer clear of them. You live your life and let them live there life. I no that it will be hard to leave your out of your life, but if you try to keep them in your life, you will not be free to be the true you. Good lock in your life.
Thank you ProFriend for reposting Derek's four videos about coming out. He has so much wisdom and maturity. All four videos were great. I commend him.
Bless you Derek. By the looks of it you're pushing 20. I so hope your parents have grown up by now. I see you are no longer on you tube; still you will be in my thoughts. You no doubt have learned by now, that you are far from being alone. You are a fine human being and you will grow immensely from this challenge. Simply forgive those that can't understand and resist falling into their web of shallow negativity. You're in a position to much good in your life. Thank you for giving so of yourself.
You seem like a strong guy, and you posting this video is testament of your strength. You are an inspiration for people coming out as they have a different perspective. I can see you are really hurt by your parents reaction, but just remember you're smart and good looking guy and I believe that happiness is a short time away!
1:26 Derek. I watched your video for the first time today. It’s been 15 years since you posted it so I’m a little behind for commenting but I’m compelled to comment. Listening to you brought me to tears. I came out to my family and a select group of friends after 40 + years of hiding my identity and hating myself for being what I was.
I’m so glad that according to the comments I’ve read, you are doing well. I hope your relationship with your parents has improved and I wish you love, happiness and contentment. ❤ Mike from PA
My heart cries for your what you have endured, Derek! You're a beautiful, wonderful, and brave young man. I wish you so much love and happiness and joy!!
Profriend, you have done a most wonderful thing by bringing to light and sharing Derek's story. I'm so very grateful to have shared in this experience, especially it's very happy ending! Much love to you both!! 🌹💖
I am now 54 years old, I have been with my husband for 30 years now. My parents were very accepting of me being gay. But I was still very afraid of coming out. My dad told me he didn't care if I was gay, just as long as I was healthy and happy. I was lucky. Your parents will come around. Just do what makes you happy and live life, be kind to others, and things do get better.
Powerful video, made me tear up the deeper I got into the story. My coming out story had a much happier ending and that was in 1976. Disappointing that kids need to go through this pain.
The mother comes off as immature...parents should never sink as low as to mock or make-fun of a child, especially when it's their own child...
Even at the age you were I think in your situation I would have returned the mocking and told my mother what a disappointing failure she was as a parent. Much easier to say that now I'm older, I guess.
yes terrible.
To drive a car you have study and learn the rules, then pass a test;
and look at all the awful drivers out there.
but to be a parent,....there's no test; no licence
some kids are lucky and have good parents.
It's all about HER. Her ego, how people will view HER.
How are you doing today? 2019. Thanks for your story.I'm glad you trusted us with it. I'm coming out at 63 and it's a relief to be honest. Andy
@Andrew Jackson Wow I am around sixty and can't imagine what you are going thru!
I’m 49 and can’t do it. 😩
@@CCGR-2024 Knowledge is power! If family, religion, or culture makes coming out difficult for anyone that you know, the following blog post about homosexuality may provide valuable help: “Homophobia: To the Community” homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html
If anyone needs support against religious, social, or cultural abuses, this can help them: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological nature of religions.
neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Hi Derek, thank you for sharing this with all of us here. I wish that I was much younger and attending the same school or living in the same neighborhood as you. We could have supported each other. I see that this was posted nearly 16 months ago. You should now be close to 18. I hope that in the meantime your parents, especially your mom, have come to accept you, and realize what a loving and caring son that you are.
Actually, Derek's now a college senior and doing pretty well. From all reports he's got his act together. No word on his parents.
@@ProFriend Thank you for posting the update, how is he doing now? (2019)
Knowledge is power! If family, religion, or culture makes coming out difficult for anyone that you know, the following blog post about homosexuality may provide valuable help: “Homophobia: To the Community” homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html
If anyone needs support against religious, social, or cultural abuses, this can help them: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological nature of religions.
neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Thanks for sharing.... So sorry to see how your "Coming Out" turned out with your parents rejection... I can feel your pain.... wish I could be there to hug you... Stay strong... Hope you make a lot of good friends out there to support and love you for the good sensitive person you are...
Poor guy, I'm so sorry. Some people can be so hurtful and selfish. I live and support you.
My gawd Derek ... my heart breaks for you. You are strong and will make things work.!! What so, so hurts me is to listen to the hurt in your voice because of your parents reaction to you. You're their son for God's sake.!!! I hope you're ok today.? Take care of yourself.
This video broke my heart .. I'm so grateful for my accepting family.. I really hope things got better for you man
Your an amazing and beautiful person. Just know it gets better and you have a lot of people that will support you.
This is heartbreaking. I hope that you are doing better now.
Brave kid. Glad you said he's doing well.
Its Derek! I remember watching him when I was in high school. he gave me a lot of courage at a really dark time in my life. he lived not too far from me in the chicago land area.
Knowledge is power! If family, religion, or culture makes coming out difficult for anyone that you know, the following blog post about homosexuality may provide valuable help: “Homophobia: To the Community” homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html
If anyone needs support against religious, social, or cultural abuses, this can help them: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological nature of religions.
neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
Man, that was really hard to watch. I so relate to this young man's emotions. It was completely honest, off the cuff and from the heart. I hope life finds him doing well these days in all aspects. Appreciate his courage for sharing and wanting to help others.
If everyone's family came to terms with them being gay it would be easy to deal with . You are an example of a situation where they have not accepted you for who you are . This vid can let others in a similar situation know they are not alone . i know I will never be accepted by everyone . Thank you for sharing .
BRAVO! Derek. Much Love and Respect. Makes my heart so happy that you stood strong and made it. Peace.
Parents this is why so many teens lose there life, accept them for who they are. And love them unconditionally!
You just keep hanging in there I love the fact that you dealing with it in a positive manner you go boy, keep living your truth. I love you.
It's good you made this video. it's just a reality for a few of us. seeing this made me wish I could take away the pain you were going through. My mother never accepted me and at 16 I had to leave my home and start a life of my own. I didn't see my mom until a few years ago and still no change. I see you are doing good and that makes me feel good. Wishing you all the best.
at 5:04 he mentions the mother's quotes. that's sad. forgive her kid, and you can move on and be happy. so healthy of this kid to accept himself at such an early age.
Hello Derek, Wow ! That's a lot of pain to have gone through at 16. I only hope there was a light for you at the end of that tunnel. Good luck to you if your anything like your sixteen year old self, then I would assume your Ok.
No young person should have to go through this.....ever! Man, i hope he is doing much, much better now!
Please be strong don’t worry about them it’s your life. You are a hero . You’re honest you’re not alone in this. Love yourself be strong . Most of us have been there . You’re amazing.
Derek,
I can't begin to tell you how sad your story made me. To think that someone who is supposed to act like a parent responds more like a bratty sibling. While your love for your family is heartfelt and unconditional, your mother's is not. To say she is selfish and immature would be putting it mildly.
I can only hope that as time has passed and you have moved out, that you can get a better perspective on what a good parent should be. You may have to make your own family.
Good luc
Im sorry you had to go through what you did... I really hope things are better now.
At 25 or 26 I hope you have a good life. Hope your parents have excepted who you are. I’m sure as you were at 16, you’re an awesome young man. Love is unconditional. I hope your parents have come to realize that.
I'm just seeing your video now, I came out to my parents this last June, my mother had the same reaction, my dad to my great surprise was indifferent with the whole thing. stay strong, thanks for your video
Hi Kyle - give your mom time. She may come around eventually. If she doesn't, remember that many of us have "chosen family" that fill the void left by parents who reject their gay children. If you're not yet 18 and still living at home, it's probably best to lay low until you can leave home safely.
@@ProFriend I hope she will, but im not holding my breath. its not going to stop me now. I wish I had these kind of videos when I was 15, I tried to come out at 15 to her cause I was nieve and thought she'd be cool with it being her only child, her reaction scared me back into the closet for another 20 years, im 35 now and have a wife and kids, so it's complicated now. I came out to my wife last year, she's been most understanding. but that is why these videos are needed, for the young people, so they don't make major life decisions that eventually cause more pain to others. I've seen many videos of men in my situation, and sad to say it doesn't end well.
Anyone please confirm Derek is OK, 2020, please. Hoping he has a guy that loves him.
@Diego Kyler I'm so glad he's okay.. His videos is so touching and sad... I wish he has found happiness, cause he does deserve it.
I'm proud of you for being yourself. I know its hard but you are a very brave guy. Ignore the negative comments you hear and be proud of who you are. You deserve to be happy and to be loved no matter what.
Very courageous young man. I wish I had had the determination and guts to come out at that age. I was a coward but you are not. You are a perfect example of dignity and pride.
th-cam.com/video/6zbQHbPyJOg/w-d-xo.html Knowledge is power! If family, religion, or culture makes coming out difficult for anyone that you know, the following blog post about homosexuality may provide valuable help: “Homophobia: To the Community” homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html
If anyone needs support against religious, social, or cultural abuses, this can help them: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological nature of religions.
neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
For every 1 hater, There is 100, more non haters that love you for you keep Vloging and find as many gay friends as you can, and, God bless you.. 👍
Your video is most moving and I have to wonder how you are doing today. My sincere wish is that you have found contentment and happiness.
Hi Derek, I just watched this video and I have to tell you how proud I felt after watching. I didn't, couldn't come out till I was your age now. 29 I'm thinking. I wanted to reach out to you and give you a guy that might be able to help. But now you have a boyfriend and doing well I understand.
I also am so sorry you had to go through what you did as a kid. Anyway, it's been great watching you on TH-cam. I hope you get to read this. James
I am sad for you and I’m also sad for myself. It is so hard watching that somebody is refusing to learn anything like your mother, who just does not get itCall mom does not see your being genuine and soft and, yeah, beautiful. Hugs Martin
Damn you're a good soul... you are your parents best teacher!!!
Great to read you came through very well and found your man ! Well done and hope you have all the love and joy one could wish for - Luc / U.K. (Belgian though , 52 and happily married to guy I met 20 years ago)
Derek, I just saw your video 15 years later. It was heartbreaking to hear your parents reaction, particularly that of your mother. It is not always easy for parents to come to terms with a child's homosexuality. However, for a parent to belittle and mock a child like that is completely unacceptable. It must have been very difficult for you to talk about. Your sincerity and honesty in sharing that experience was truly inspiring. I am glad that your are doing well now. God bless you.
You are such a brave and courageous soul!! Take pride in yourself that you are speaking and living your true authentic self. I’m sorry your experience with your parents was a negative one. Just know that your story will help and touch others. I wish you nothing but good health and happiness on your journey moving forward! You deserve everything good and don’t forget it! 🙏
this is as impressive as the first time it aired. Derrick has always been a positive role model. wish these videos were out when I was a kid.
I know you came out a long time ago and I sure hope your life has gotten amazing. I came out at 35 and a virgin till then, but life has gotten fantastic for me. Sorry about your parents original reaction but I hope they've evolved from their ignorance. Their values about life are NO better than yours. They are just 2 other people on this planet, just like you and I are.
Best of luck to you. You're a handsome and very intelligent
young man
It’s mid June 2018 as I looked to ur coming out story in 2009; wish having news what happened after? I had big argument with brother,,letting him out of my life not answering phone, reply or birthday wish for about a year was the best punishment I gave him, wish you done the same. BRAVO
I am very moved by this very old video with universal experiences. How wonderful that he can keep moving even with the non-supportive parents. Hope the parents are doing better and it is beautiful that Derek seems to be doing better
Derek was probably the first gay teen figure I admired whose videos helped me to understand myself when I was a teenager as well, he barely knows how much gratitude I still feel for him today.
I wish I could give you a hug.
I really feel for you, your parents should be more understanding you sound like a really good person. If they can,t acept you its them with the problem. Moving out may be the only answer are there any other relatives that could take you in till either you finish school or they see the error of their respective ways it seem to me you love them but their love is conditional
I totally agree, he deserves a hug
Just finished watching. So sorry your parents weren't accepting. I hope it's gotten better for you. If it hasn't, rest assured that it will. Do your best to not let the reaction of others define who u are. Much happiness to u.
Derek you are a great kid. Be patient. You are going to have a happy life. And you will be loved.
You are great! The way you are handling your parents reaction is very responsible and mature. With the level head you have I wish you well. Remember if it took you 3yr to adjust it may take them more than 1 yr but live your life regardless. Hugs
Hang in there buddy stay positive and be who you want be you can be happy . Thank you for being brave and sharing your story
Dude, Derek, we all love you bud... There will be a happy ending...trust me...
I am 65 year old and l love men to some is hard talk to and other. Dont care they just want people to be happy
I am to be what am try find some one to be with
Why are you so certain? Ignore the truth often?
@Chonch Don’t be a downer douche, bro, a happy ending is within everyone’s grasp, but you need to believe in yourself, and focus on moving forward. Shitty parents are not a life sentence.
I wish (a lot!) that Derek would do a personal update on his life. I've watch a gazillion coming-out videos and found this one to be one of the more powerfully moving of them all. Wondering so much if his parents ever came around, or not. If they didn't, how he's coping. What a sweet, mature lad he is in this video!
Stay strong my friend.. your mam and dad will come around to it soon. Your not alone x
I hope thing are getting better for you mate, chin up ya xx
So many foul, obscene, insulting things I could say about his mother for the way she spoke and treated him....she seems very small and under-developed mentally, culturally, socially, spiritually. She doesn't deserve such a fine son. She deserves never to hear from him again until she begs the son's forgiveness and admits her sins against him.
Hi Derek, just came upon you site. I'm sure or at least hope there have been a ton of changes in your life ALL GOOD. I would love to have long talks with you. Please remember, "At the end of the day, all we have is who we are" I love you
Hi Tom, as it says in the description, this isn't Derek's channel, just a repost of an older video we hope will help others. He's a junior in college now and doing well.
I remember Derek... i hope he's doing well
Derek- i am sorry you were not accepted then. perhaps now is ok and you have finished school and have friends who love and support you to be the AWESOME gay man you are.. you are strong in body, mind, soul and HEART. God bless you young man/ your heart is strong so use it in your life. i am proud of you, sending you 10 hugs,
Hey Derek, I watched a lot of coming out vids during my teenage years and found a lot of comfort from viewing them. It helped me in accepting that I'm gay myself. Having said that, I wish I came across your vid back then too: your story (at the time) didn't have the happiest outcome. You made this vid during a difficult part of your life and your words clearly expressed that. I guess what resonated so much with me though was that you had the strength regardless to accept yourself and make this video to help others... in 2009 no less! Even though it was only 12-13 years ago, overall sentiments toward LGBT+ people were WAY less accepting than they are now. A lot of comments already said this, but you were super brave for making this video and I know a bunch of people in the closet really appreciated your honest experience, even if it wasn't the most positive.
I'm happy to hear that you're living a much more fulfilling life now with the man you love. I myself am 25 years old and not 100% out (combination of self-esteem issues and extended family in middle east that's making me hesitant to fully be 'out') but I hope to get to that point relatively soon, live my life, and find someone for me too.
Thanks to ProFriend for sharing these vids with us and a special thanks once more to Derek for telling your story- it helped more people than you could ever imagine. Not sure if you actually visit this vid and read the comments (especially after all this time), but just felt like writing all this. Hope you're doing well at the present.
I respect you and am happy for you being able to live your life as yourself.
Proud of you and admire your strength. Don't ever loose hope...!
I've never commented on a video before. I had tough conversation with a friend in a very similar predicament. If you would allow me to share with you what I told him, you dont need a group or a family...you only need one person to keep you from feeling alone. Find that one person. Stay strong.
Hope life is better now for Derek. I think profriend did him a favor by repostiing this and someday will be rewarded by Derek himself.
Hope you are doing well! Hugs from New Zealand XOXO
Derick you are such a wonderful person your parent's are sure to come round be patient if i were your father i would just say i love you so much and accept you just the way you are lots of love chris
It was his parents who needed to see a therapist, not him!
Amazing that he had the strength, dignity and courage to put this out on you tube! I hope he's found someone awesome, loving and careing, to share his life with!
A saying goes " Ignorance is Bliss!" It doesn't work with his parents! In their case "Ignorance is evil!"
Thanks very much for the upload.
Feel so sorry for bud. I’ve had something similar. But am doing ok now. I’m sure you will be stronger and your more mature than your folks. I do hope they will see they’re missing a wonderful son.
God bless your program and I keep you in prayer 🙏❤
It’s a shame that some people react this way but you are very brave and dealing with this well enough. It’s best to accept the way you are and live your life according to your own values! I wish you had been our son... things would have been very different for you here. Wishing you all the best in your future.
It is truly heartbreaking when parents are not capable of unconditional love.
All the best - I hope your parents come around; I'm thinking they will in time as u mentioned. Cheers:]
Holy shit... that was heart wrenching ... I had tears in my eys. Your mom should grow a pair... just saying... Thank god my mom didn't react that way... although before she knew, she thought all gay people were pedaphyles. And when she finally knew her son was... she decided to read alot of books about it After that she was very supportive... Dang... I sure hope you had a good ending to this too! You are a courageous young man.
I am so glad he is doing well.
ProFriend-Please try and get him to make a new video that covers the last four years and lets us know how things stand now.
Derek is a wonderful person. His parents are not handling the situation very well.
Alan Johnson matt decker dating love is love China guys
This was so helpful even a long time later
Stay strong, Derek. We're all with you.
I remember seeing his videos when I was in high school. It's been so long now, but I remember this story.
Derek after all these years since you posted I came across your video and was really moved. I can tell you that you are very bright and sincere. I felt so moved by your video. You’re still a young fellow and I suspect very good looking. I hope everythng worked out for you. I must admit I couldn’t belive the way your mother was treating you. It would be interesting to know how things worked out. I hope as good as you really obviously deserved.
Awww man I feel so sorry for what you’re going through. Praying for you, please stay strong. My new husband’s family is giving him a horrible time right now. They do not support our marriage. I came out to my Mom when I was 16, none of my family has a problem with me being gay and they all support Armaine and I. Derek, you’re going to have loads of love and joy in your life.
th-cam.com/video/AlI6Hf53Y4Y/w-d-xo.html Knowledge is power! If family, religion, or culture makes coming out difficult for anyone that you know, the following blog post about homosexuality may provide valuable help: “Homophobia: To the Community” homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2014/04/to-community.html
If anyone needs support against religious, social, or cultural abuses, this can help them: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological nature of religions.
neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
I hope you make it keep your head up I'm proud of you hope you're doing OK and I hope you're folks except you for who you are hugs to you stay strong it'll work out
I'm so sorry for you. Stay brave.
He's in his 20's now. God I hope he's OK
At last report Derek has graduated college and is doing well.