Living with & healing from Toxic Shame
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ต.ค. 2024
- The challenge of identifying, being with and healing Toxic Shame.
Link to Irene Lyon's Video that I mention:
• Disgust: The gateway e...
#shame #toxicshame #trauma #somatichealing #ptsd #cptsd #chronicpain #chronicillness #healing #therapy #betrayaltrauma #emotionalabuse #nervoussystem #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystemhealing #freedom
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Love the part at the end about vulnerability. Sharing shameful feelings with others risks compounding the feeling of shame, so one has to be ready to be vulnerable and possibly feel additional shame before sharing. It really depends on the person with whom one shares. When it’s received compassionately with validation and support is when the healing happens. Self compassion practices are also quite helpful for healing, in my opinion. Thanks for sharing on this topic - I completely relate!
Thanks for this response to Simon's video. Your mention of self compassion meets a thought that emerged as I experienced the video. That is, could self compassion be useful when facing toxic shame? There are widely available guided exercises addressing shame. But, is toxic shame a 'step too far' for mindful self compassion? Hoping to hear the thoughts of others...
Thank you! Great topic, and, yes, allowing oneself to be open and vulnerable is a strong antidote to the toxicity of shame. I'd add one point that David Loy makes in his book "Lack & Transcendence." So long that many thoughts and actions are driven by a strong unconscious (or even conscious) belief and attachment to an independently existing, autonomous self, "not-good-enoughness" and shame will be inevitable outcomes. That's because such self cannot be found anywhere--any introspective search for it comes up empty. The ensuing feeling of confusion and deficiency is then often exacerbated by the (erroneous) belief that others have a self and have it "much more together" (I struggled with this for most of my life). One possible strategy can be to build a healthy *sense* of self/ego first before (gently) deconstructing it ("You have to be somebody before you can be nobody" --Jack Engler).
Well said thanks so much for sharing. ❤
This is the second video of yours I've watched, so I'm obviously in the right place.
Sometimes the TH-cam algorithm is alright.
I've been so lost trying to navigate, thank you for sharing.
@@triple_d_5095 I'm really glad this kind of communication resonates with you, as it's a really challenging thing to go through alone ❤️
Thank you my friend, deep bow to you. Beautifully articulated my existance. I am rooting for your health and healing. You have such a wonderful peaceful and friendly presence 🙏
@@hristuppiteitinu thank you for such a lovely comment, it's means a lot to receive such a beautiful message ❤️
I said to myself in my 16 that my self evaluation is in my self esteem, of course with some feedback bias. It is hard, responsible but open a way of possibilities.
Such a high quality comment section
Your perspective on toxic shame is thought-provoking (especially because you offer an idea - be vulnerable - as an antidote). I'd love to dive deeper into this topic with you. Would you be interested in joining @STEERus for Toxic Tuesday 7pm ET livestream as a guest to share more of your insights? Your voice would add so much value to this conversation!
@@Midlifesuccess hey there thanks for you comment and invite. I'd potentially love to attend but ATM I don't have the resources as am taking time to rest with illness. If you reach out in a few weeks time it may be more possible. You can reach me via email, it's detailed in my bio. 🙏
@@Awakehereandnow I am hoping that you heal quickly! 🙏
Thank you for making these videos. They give much food for thought and I'm sure you're helping many people just by explaining things clearly so they can recognise the patterns in their own minds.
When I'm up all these things seem far away in the past and trivial and not worth bothering people to discuss. But this video made me reflect that for me the toxic shame thing is bound up with feelings of hopelessness, so when I feel down and want to reach out and share with someone, I find myself unable to speak with the effort it takes not to cry incoherently. And it's hard to do that in front of the few people I hope might bear to listen, because of fear they'll be appalled and run off. Maybe it's worth just writing it all down, that'd probably be a start wouldn't it. Like giving the rat just a little lick :) It's literally all in my mind
@@poltergeistbingo9144 im really glad it resonates with you and I totally relate to what you're saying ❤️
what are the resources?
@@bananaallin3597 not sure what you mean? Resources for working with toxic shame?
@@Awakehereandnow yes
I recommend exploring some content in the area by experienced practitioners like the Irene Lyon Video I posted, and also if you search for Tim Fletcher on TH-cam he has some great content regarding Shame. Being with trusted friends and family, especially in those moments when we want to hide the most can really help break the spell of Shame. I also really recommend working closely with a professional who offers trauma sensitive therapy as this can provide a safe space which is trauma informed to explore this in our experience. I hope this helps. Thanks for reaching out.
@@Awakehereandnow i don't have acces to work with a professional who offers trauma sensitive therapy, what else i can do?
As I mentioned above, explore online resources, speak with friends and family, seek connection and community where possible, explore heart based compassion and Metta meditations. wishing you well.