36:50 “I am saying signaling sucks. You cannot trust people.” As an autistic person this hit me hard, because what is autism if not a disorder of signaling? We do not pick up certain signals. We do not signal appropriately. Even our neurological synapses which create those signals are crossed! As Vaknin says, we live in a society full of signals, and not processing and/or trusting those signals is seen as a disorder. However, what he points out here is truly something I’ve wondered from a very young age: how are we supposed to know what signals to trust, or if these signals even tell the truth? I was taught that smiling signaled someone was happy and/or friendly like most children. Then the information would immediately be contradicted. Many of my bullies and abusers had a smile on their faces, so like I was taught, I assumed they were feeling happy or wanting to be friendly. That was far from the truth, but what tools did I have to know that before I got manipulated gaslit and hurt? None. I subconsciously realized I wasn’t the only one who was signaling things inappropriately. Everyone was. I felt and still feel trapped in a world of inevitable deception and betrayal with no ability to tell the truth from lies beyond logic and reason. I gave up trying to stop people from hurting me and I started masking, faking signals as best I could to blend in with this world which I will never understand. As Dr. Temple Grandin once said “The primary emotion of a person with autism is fear.” That paranoia that sparks when signaling is revealed to be inherently flawed, like covid-19, something potentially deadly you cannot detect. I realize now in a way I’ve lived with that my entire life thus far, but I’d argue not knowing another’s intentions is far more terrifying than any virus.
Makeshift Masquerade, I have taught people on the autism spectrum for many years now, and have often thought I might be on the spectrum myself and was just never diagnosed. I can tell you, I went from feeling like I really understood people, signals, and like I had things very “together” to suddenly feeling totally out of sorts, paranoid, and not really being able to tell who is for or against me. It’s very hard, in the times we are living in now, even if you don’t have a learning challenge or mental illness, because everything is complete different. Even certain rules and signals that we thought we could count on to help us figure things out have been completely changed or turned upside down, so everything that may have once helped us a can’t even be trusted!
All I can say is WOW! This information needs to on a tv network. So many lives are destroyed because of these “children”. Out of all the research I’ve done the last nine months this by far has helped me better understand the dynamics of it all. Thank you Sam for your knowledge & I would do anything to meet you & talk to you on the phone because you are officially my hero. I’ve been looking & searching for answers & you just helped me heal so much faster. Thank You!
Realizing a NPD‘s menthal age is the one of a child and not a matter of being evil or bad has been the key of letting go. You can‘t expect sth. someone isn‘t able to give...
This guy sounds delusional. I wonder if he actually believes that he is physically incapable of sweating? It's like saying that your crap smells like roses.
I see nothing on the banishing..seeimg me as non-exsistant and I am under house arrest...sent to the tower and stripped of my inheritance and he does nothing to leave. He wishes me dead. Out of sight, out of mind and yet he punishes me and condemns me to exile by his authority and I become the non - existent and not allowed to penetrate his world. It is like he has carried out a ceremony. This ritual seems to give him new rules..like no food provided..no place at table..no bed, bathroom ( he is there immediately to need it). Can you help me?
Sam, can you clarify your theory that a narcissist loses his narcissism in prison, so this makes it a choice - yet even cold therapy cannot cure a narcissist - in either case, it would remove their traits/behaviours yet they will still remain with only cold empathy, hence, still a narcissist and incurable? I have seen comments on other sites where people have quoted you saying this about prison as their proof that narcissists can be cured
@@samvaknin thank you - this was my understanding - you are correct that there is a lot of misinformation going around in a lot of these “support forums” and that type of misinformation can give people false hope, which is tragic
Adding schizotypical, histrionic personality disorder and BPD to the list. I can't have sex without getting high or drinking alcohol or else I can't really enjoy it since I know it's not truly intimate and I know I'm being used. Now I can't get aroused anymore and completely forgot what sex or any form of intimacy is like after almost 6 years. Guess i never really knew and was just playing along.
Sam do you not think that the narcissist should be stopped, through treatment, imprisonment or whatever so's not to infect others continuely hurting others and also producing more narcissists. If a person physically abuses another they can be imprisoned. I know mental abuse is only sort of being recognised. But narcissists have to be stopped. No?
Africanrose123 They are unfortunately legal thieves. Yes they should be held accountable for all the damage they do because like Sam said it’s “a choice “
36:50 “I am saying signaling sucks. You cannot trust people.”
As an autistic person this hit me hard, because what is autism if not a disorder of signaling? We do not pick up certain signals. We do not signal appropriately. Even our neurological synapses which create those signals are crossed!
As Vaknin says, we live in a society full of signals, and not processing and/or trusting those signals is seen as a disorder. However, what he points out here is truly something I’ve wondered from a very young age: how are we supposed to know what signals to trust, or if these signals even tell the truth?
I was taught that smiling signaled someone was happy and/or friendly like most children. Then the information would immediately be contradicted. Many of my bullies and abusers had a smile on their faces, so like I was taught, I assumed they were feeling happy or wanting to be friendly. That was far from the truth, but what tools did I have to know that before I got manipulated gaslit and hurt? None.
I subconsciously realized I wasn’t the only one who was signaling things inappropriately. Everyone was. I felt and still feel trapped in a world of inevitable deception and betrayal with no ability to tell the truth from lies beyond logic and reason. I gave up trying to stop people from hurting me and I started masking, faking signals as best I could to blend in with this world which I will never understand.
As Dr. Temple Grandin once said “The primary emotion of a person with autism is fear.” That paranoia that sparks when signaling is revealed to be inherently flawed, like covid-19, something potentially deadly you cannot detect. I realize now in a way I’ve lived with that my entire life thus far, but I’d argue not knowing another’s intentions is far more terrifying than any virus.
Makeshift Masquerade, I have taught people on the autism spectrum for many years now, and have often thought I might be on the spectrum myself and was just never diagnosed. I can tell you, I went from feeling like I really understood people, signals, and like I had things very “together” to suddenly feeling totally out of sorts, paranoid, and not really being able to tell who is for or against me. It’s very hard, in the times we are living in now, even if you don’t have a learning challenge or mental illness, because everything is complete different. Even certain rules and signals that we thought we could count on to help us figure things out have been completely changed or turned upside down, so everything that may have once helped us a can’t even be trusted!
All I can say is WOW! This information needs to on a tv network. So many lives are destroyed because of these “children”. Out of all the research I’ve done the last nine months this by far has helped me better understand the dynamics of it all. Thank you Sam for your knowledge & I would do anything to meet you & talk to you on the phone because you are officially my hero. I’ve been looking & searching for answers & you just helped me heal so much faster. Thank You!
So nice to hear a South African accent ❤️
... and the irony of saying... you can not enter the kingdom unless you are like child
This makes so much sense...no wonder i was describing my ex narc as a man child.
This is probably why so many people describe Donald Trump as being childish, he's actually a narcissist, scary.
I did the same with my ex for years and didn’t realize how utterly correct I was!
This is Gold ✨
Very interesting.
Terrible desorder in human ben. Sad for them.
No sadness for them, be sad for their children.
Absolutely brilliant! Thank you 🙏
My GURU " DESIRE TO END ALL DESIRES IS A VERY PARTICULAR DESIRE"
Excellent content! Thank you
Realizing a NPD‘s menthal age is the one of a child and not a matter of being evil or bad has been the key of letting go. You can‘t expect sth. someone isn‘t able to give...
And Sam of course ❤️
This was such a great. I learned so much. Thank you
Very helpful Sam thank you so much
So interesting 🤔 My ex narcissist fiancé bragged that he never sweated.
Prince Andrew, ha ha!
Did I marry your ex fiance🤔😆 My husband used to say that all of the time.
This guy sounds delusional. I wonder if he actually believes that he is physically incapable of sweating? It's like saying that your crap smells like roses.
@@Rumplegirlskin Quite possibly, my ex gets around! 😆😆
My ex also said he never sweated.
Fascinating discussion. Thanks.
I see nothing on the banishing..seeimg me as non-exsistant and I am under house arrest...sent to the tower and stripped of my inheritance and he does nothing to leave. He wishes me dead. Out of sight, out of mind and yet he punishes me and condemns me to exile by his authority and I become the non - existent and not allowed to penetrate his world. It is like he has carried out a ceremony. This ritual seems to give him new rules..like no food provided..no place at table..no bed, bathroom ( he is there immediately to need it). Can you help me?
Sam, can you clarify your theory that a narcissist loses his narcissism in prison, so this makes it a choice - yet even cold therapy cannot cure a narcissist - in either case, it would remove their traits/behaviours yet they will still remain with only cold empathy, hence, still a narcissist and incurable? I have seen comments on other sites where people have quoted you saying this about prison as their proof that narcissists can be cured
Not cured. Totally suspend their abrasive and antisocial behaviors.
@@samvaknin thank you - this was my understanding - you are correct that there is a lot of misinformation going around in a lot of these “support forums” and that type of misinformation can give people false hope, which is tragic
Adding schizotypical, histrionic personality disorder and BPD to the list. I can't have sex without getting high or drinking alcohol or else I can't really enjoy it since I know it's not truly intimate and I know I'm being used. Now I can't get aroused anymore and completely forgot what sex or any form of intimacy is like after almost 6 years. Guess i never really knew and was just playing along.
Thank you, great information.
Sam do you not think that the narcissist should be stopped, through treatment, imprisonment or whatever so's not to infect others continuely hurting others and also producing more narcissists. If a person physically abuses another they can be imprisoned. I know mental abuse is only sort of being recognised. But narcissists have to be stopped. No?
Africanrose123 They are unfortunately legal thieves. Yes they should be held accountable for all the damage they do because like Sam said it’s “a choice “
I think transactional analysis addressed the needs to reparent the child ego state?
Good and not so good in all models
His amazing
Very interesting!
Can a narcissist be helped and how?
Healing and Curing Narcissism
vaksam.tripod.com/faq77.html
(NEW! Cold Therapy!)
vaksam.tripod.com/faq63.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq70.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq12.html
vaksam.tripod.com/10.html
vaksam.tripod.com/case03.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq31.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html
vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders37.html
vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders45.html
They act like 3 year old and has black eye fits
Defiantly they are real life Ai