the scariest thing for me is that it *isnt* as easy as it feels, theres always a chance you could survive an attempt, and a major chance in it that youll be left in a terrible, terrible state.
@@KathiOsborn yup. When I try I was so scared. The fact that after the TRY, I didn't have anyone to tell. Anyone that would care. Or if I tryed to seek conform in telling someone they wouldn't care. That just worked almost like gasoline to a car, Unluckily that had an impact on my pysche and on myself, because someone with 12 should not be wanting to end this place.
@@KathiOsborn diversity of the psyches has already begun to narrow; Unity is well underway. This video is one snippet of proof. This archetype of content is only going to grow in number, as will the individuals The soul of the masses is tired, the void calls for a halt to this ceaseless wheel that is life. To those of us who are precursors, our obligation is to accelerate this process Minimizing any further anguish. I am Vayne, “rep.” Of the void; I am you, and this is accountability calling on the grandest of scales.
Is it better to exist in suffering or to not exist at all? Feel pain or lose the ability to feel Also, yeah I believe there is purpose. not gonna go on a eight paragraph long rant, but for something to exist, there is something that has to be eternal (God). And that thing that's eternal, made us. Nothing is ever made just for.. nothing. It feels hopeless at times, but there is a purpose. There is reason everyone goes through the things they do.
I have had the worst year of my life begin in August of 2023. My mom left abandoning the family, stole my car and physically harm me. On top of it being my last year of high school, being hospitalized and in a coma in September from a seizure at school, resulting in me losing months with multiple hospitalizations. Ending up with her threating my life and attempting to take hers. Eventually to have my car retuned and driving it in April resulting in me being hurt in a bad car accident. Everything around me seemed worthless. I didn't care if I died in my sleep. And one night sitting alone at home with a gun in my hand, it made me realize that even if I don't life for the enjoyment of myself, that I should keep living for the one person that cared for me. I have several people in my life that I have saved with my presence, that had I listened to the call, would no longer be here. I love you guys, Take care.
Anything about your dad, uncles, aunts, grandparents, about what is the religion of theirs, yours, the mom? Because religiousness of parents can matter. Is English your ethnic language?
@@everythingeverett3021 life is full of absurdities that can drag you down and are no fault of your own. seems like you had a bad draw and are experiencing lots of these things at once and at a young age. things will not necessarily be like that forever. Actually, the odds are that they won't be, things will even out, and you'll have some positive things happen to you. just stick it out and give time a chance to do its thing.
Pls come to Jesus, He will save you! John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
I know nobody will ever read this. But the fact that so many other comments are here in the last few days gives me, almost a small bit of comfort. I've had, such, an incredibly terrible year. I started it almost homeless. My family has left me. I have never been more alone in my life, in my 24 years here. I have never felt more unhappy. But I want to live. I want to keep on going, I want to see a tomorrow that's better. But it's hard, you know? I wanna talk to more people, but then they push me away. I want to learn art in different ways, but feel so lost about it with even less help. But I want, I WANT to survive. I joke to myself that I'll find that forever person, the soul to match the missing pieces I know I've lost years ago. Decades even. That gives me a small bit of strength. I have to go to bed right now for a morning shift, taking a long bus-ride to work, then a long bus-ride back. It's always empty. It's always lonely. I have no service on my phone when I take the trek, and even when I get to work, I have no friends to talk to. It's... rough. But then I read all the other comments here, all these other lost sparks who are just as forgotten, or uncared about as me. And honestly? I want you, reading this, to know that I care about you. There is only ONE you. There will only ever be one version of me. There will only ever be one version of you. Even if we're all grains of sand on this dirty ass beach we call life, we're still all unique. I pray and hope that you and I can find peace. If not from a god, then from another soul. Stay strong. Let out your tears when you need to. I have boundless love to give, but nobody to give it to. But you, reading this? In this moment, I can say we're friends. Thank you, if you did read this. You have no idea how much it means to me. - Squall E.
thank you, Squall E. this means a lot. My year hasn’t been the best either, I’ve lost my dog, I’m scared to death of losing my friends, and I’m horrified of one day ending it all for some stupid, petty reason. But this comforts me as well, as twisted as it sounds. Just knowing there’s others who can be helped or others who can relate, makes me only want to help them more, at least in any way I can. I’m glad TH-cam showed me this video and this comment, and I hope and pray everything will be better for the fellow sufferers and for you as well. Hope to meet you again, stranger
You're a kindred spirit, you're an unseen friend who I send my sincere best wishes to, for what it's worth. Your words are touching and appreciated. Thank you. Please look after yourself
I dunno you, but had major depressive episodes as well and arguably was where you are (sort of). If you have watched Chainsaw Man, reduced to someone like Denji, weirdly such a fucked up story gave me hop, he would just continue to live for warm food or having a nice bed available. sometimes, that is all that can make your day. Taking a shower, having a nice meal, having a good phone call with a friend or family. Eveerything is useless. If you fuck up at your job will mean nothing in 100 years. the biggest corporations will be moot in 100 years too probably, every achievement will be swallowed by oblivion at one point. might as well live, right? this is still copium, but it is the better alternative to just ending it now. I would NOT recommend to read the conspiracy against the human race by Thomas Ligotti, usually horror author (I love horror), but it is almost more of a philosophical essay, just how we are sort of unnatural things and our consciousness dooms us to know about our death and we do not really have a reason to continue, hence suicide. in a way, that book confirmed my pessimistic views, but if essentially the point of the book is, nothing matters, better end it now, almost defiantly, it made me appreciate life more. Kierkegaard is also interesting: If you read "Sickness unto Death" by him, he asks almost the same questions as Ligotti, as the biggest problems we have is not realizing we are desparate, then the problem of deseparately wanting to be someone else or to be yourself, but not being able to. the answer to this (obviously, since he was christian) is faith. Now that might be something that works for you or not, but you could put something else in place of faith, i.e. camus absurdism or nietzschean hedonism or rather making up your own values, it might be out of pure spite (almost like a Sith that just feeds on hatred or pain like Sion in KOTOR 2) or something else. I mean we all, the whole freaking universe is going to die anyway, right? so despite all the loss, pain and so on, maybe lets continue to live anyway? I had a pretty shit vacation where I vomited all over the place, probably food poisoning. This made me realize how fragile our bodies are actually, that the difference between death and life can sometimes be a dumb incident like getting infected by something you otherwise might have never encountered or not staying hydrated by a mere 100 ml that might make or brake it for your body. Tiny, miniscule stuff like that. And that sort of puts things in perspective... I had missed my flight, the airline had lost my luggage, I was sick in another country, just praying to make it to the next day in the sense that the water I drank to stay hydrated stays in. And despite that (quite literally) shitty situation, I managed to enjoy the sunshine on one day, to savor the food I ate (and later regurgitated) and thought: "well, even with this pain of existing, of our weak, fallible, frail bodies, life is worht living". IDK, just rambling now, but maybe you can find situations like that too. I sort of see this as my villain era sort of... I am not really happy with my life, yet in principle, everything is taken care of, I have a job, enough money to actually go on vacation and so on, yet no meaningful relationships to speak of, not happy with where I am right now in life and so on and yet I go on, just thinking about how I might piss off peers or family and yet not giving a single fuck. I just live for myself, doing what makes me happy, trying what I can get away with (i.e. becoming bolder, setting boundaries, maybe starting shit just for the fun of it, cause that can also be situations where you feel "alive") and so on. Maybe that helps too, even if a little unconventional. Maybe keep on living just to know how bad the middle east war will get or climate change. Sounds like the really asshole thing to say, not being the noble "I am gonna save shit" but rather "let me grab my popcorn and see just how fucked up this absurd existence and non-existence we cause actually is". sometimes being the observer is enough to center your thoughts, to get a clear head (actually a concept in buddhism as well... sort of if I am interpreting that correctly).
Your comment touched my heart, and I feel compelled to write back to you because I have known that kind of loneliness. In fact I was rather intimate with it for many, many years. Modern society has made a mockery of Jesus, and man has made a mockery of his church (for the most part). So what I'm about to say next has been ingrained in young minds to be trite, and simple bullshit, BUT! Turn to Jesus. He IS the Way, the TRUTH, and the Life. He IS living. He does love you. He is waiting outside the door to your heart, but he is not going to push the door open, you must open it to him. I'm turning 50 years old in a few days. From the outside, my appearance is completely average, my intelligent slightly higher than most, I'm mildly introverted, but not socially awkward. I last dated a girl when I was 21, she broke my heart, and I haven't actively pursued a relationship since. For 25 years after, I was a functioning alcoholic, and my only social life was a distant brother, and online gaming, but by the grace of God I finally saw the light and sobered up 4 years ago. What lessons have I learned? That I have never been alone. That even when I wasn't aware of, or actively seeking his presence, Jesus was there. Patiently waiting for me to open the door. With the acknowledgement of his presence I don't feel alone, in fact I have found contentment (for the most part, life can be a bitch sometimes). So I humbly request that you forget about any preconceived notions that you have of Jesus, find a Bible (www.biblestudytools.com/), read the NIV, or ESV versions because the King James translation is just hard to understand. Go to the Book of John in the New Testament and read about Christ. Learn what he is trying to teach mankind, and finally realize that he did live, that he does live, and that he is THE TRUTH. I pray these words find you, and that you will at least, with an open mind and heart read the Book of John.
I lost my best friend in life to the void this year in May. I miss him forever, and so too will everyone else. The thing that hurts the most is that everyone who knew him will never get to experience the inevitable happiness that would have come into his life, and share it with him. RIP Nic. I love you and miss you forever.
I have severe depression and I’ve been thinking a lot more about suicide. I don’t want to die yet, but I don’t want to live either. I’m stuck in an endless loop of agony and loneliness.
Hey, I used to suffer from severe depression too It's painful waking up everyday as a husk, not knowing the purpose why you still live I have a question for you, do you have someone to talk about your problems?
@@TrueCasualYT spoken like a true child with no responsibilities. I don't know if you are a child, but any bill paying adult knows that living certainly takes more than 'no' courage. So it seems you are babby still on mommy's teat. Am I wrong?
@@TrueCasualYT there's pain that is inherent to life. Losing loved ones, or being abandoned by them, one or the other will haunt you eventually. For me, it takes an insurmountable amount of courage to get up in the morning. Sure, I'm mostly fine, but I have a bleak outlook, simply because I know too much. 25% of men 18-30 are virgins, and 24% are at age 30. So if you're 18 or older, there's a 96% chance you will literally be a 30 year old virgin. The housing bubble. I'm a youngin' and I see the writing on the wall. Housing prices are too damn high, so I can't build wealth, and there HAS to be a crash eventually, so I'm scared to try to own a home. The general outlook is looking quite bleak as well. Income inequality is at an all time high with no signs of stopping. Some of our most basic rights are being challenged (eg, some states have relaxed child labor laws) Climate change, no brainer, will cause economic collapse and food shortages, which will cause coups and wars. I don't want to be in the crossfire when shit hits the fan The pandemic fucked me and my entire generation up socially and psychologically. These pains run deep, even for those of us lucky enough to not lose anyone still bear the burder of economic collapse (as well as wars that have predictably followed and will predictably follow) I'm at an age where if a draft is enforced, I'll be on that list. If that happens, I will go down swinging. I'm not fighting any wars, unless it is unambigious, and from my experience. Even then it depends. Am I fighting armed civilians brainwashed into hate? It doesn't matter, its not really their fault, so any murder (except self defense) is morally aprehensible. I don't care if it's a nazi. Nazi commander, sure, but a civilian? It's too complicated. What message does that send? That violence is wrong and that we should defeat it with violence? What hipocracy. What's the point of it all if I can't even be offered human decency? I NEED a purpose, but have watched my folks fail to meet their goals. I don't want a goal because I'll be crushed if I never get there. All that walking over glass for a glass shard right up my urethra. I've watched my parents do the best they could, and they still struggle. What's life got to offer me but despair? I know too much and it pains me to know it. THe problem, too, is that no amount of convincing me will change that. I already know the American Dream not only is a lie, but always has been. What do I expect out of that? I'm too socially inept to find love, and frankly, don't want to drag someone down with me as I decline into either madness or self destruction. I don't want to vote for candidates that at best offer to keep things the same and at worse want to regress society back to the middle ages Society, it's fucked, and I really don't see any point. There is no golden goose. I have no purpose, I have no goals beyond wiping my ass after I shit, and I don't have anyone that drives me to do better. I'm not a dad who wants to get a raise to pay for his kid's bike for Christmas. I am just walking forward, aimlessly, and eventually, blinded as I am, will hit wall after wall, each time weakening my soul. This entire framing is also why I'm not a fan of commitment. Life will get in the way, whether you want it to or not, and commitment to life goals often leaves many of us empty handed. If I expect an empty hand and end up with more, I've won, and that's success. If I expect to live in a cardboard box and live in an apartment for 1000$ / month, that's moving up. Set the bar low, because you don't know how life has set it for you. Will you hurdle over the bar or face plant it and fall back down? If I expect a trip, at least I can prepare myself for the broken teeth I pick from the pavement Sorry about the rambling, i'm just venting because all my friends talk to me like once a year max.
@@popcultureprogrammer2171 Humans greatest weakness, is their mind. You are spending too much time thinking and overthinking, you are literally trapped in your own head. You must either be strong enough not to drown or interact with other people to distract yourself. You sound like you got too much free time to be stuck in your own head. Because i am stuck in my head, since i am antisocial, but i am logical, so i don't have any irrational toughts like you do and i've seen all atrocities of the world. World won't fix itself anytime soon and we might all die before it happens.
The problem comes when you feel so worthless and alone that people don’t even try to antagonize you anymore, ‘cause they know (or maybe they don’t, that’s the point) how much far a broken person can go, so they just decide to ignore you altogether, never thought I’d miss having a figure to hate, but here we are, I guess…
"We create meaning, we decide that life is worth meaning, not because the universe had a plan for us, but because we chose to fight against its indifference." Well said.
@@jeflha You really think Camus didn’t account for that obvious fact? It’s about finding happiness through the act of rebellion, not about actually somehow “cheating death”. The point is the journey, not the destination
The heroic act benefits nobody, not even yourself. Only suffering continues. Without purpose, there is no reason to even struggle. Purpose has been engineered out of life itself. You're not "heroically" going to do anything in your life.
@@greg0050 but to live in and of itself can carry with it a sort of joyful purity, born entirely out of the systems of humanity and our world around us. To predicate purpose to live is to expect fulfilment through some sort of internal metric, which would leave someone ultimately at the mercy of their successes, slave to their mind. Regardless of the state of suffering, the sanctity of life as a process remains, interlocked to the instinctual drive to live. Although you may not 'heroically' do anything in your life, you shan't 'pitifully' carry on through life bearing dishonour just for the action of existing.
@@drowsymt5795 Except it does. All society venerates purpose and value. It assigns wealth, family and usefulness to dignity. It shows no respect to anyone not being useful. There's no "living to live". Chasing hedonistic pleasures and experience for its own sake with no goal, result or value extracted is hollow. Nothing can be gained from suffering just for suffering's sake while wallowing in the ruins of what the world leaves as scraps for the unproducing. To not be alive would be objectively better.
I've been struggling with death anxiety a lot recently and this video really helped. I still feel that anxiety, and I don't know if it'll ever stop, but this definitely made me feel better.
@@D00m3r3tt3Saying that doesn't help someone who's in such a place. If someone is ready to kill themselves it means they've lost all hope. So saying something like "it can always gets better" is literally ineffective because they are incapable of believing that to be true. Especially if their life has proven to them over and over that it never gets better.
I'll tell you morr, youtube knows when you fall asleep. So I was watching shadiversity video about swords and shit at 3 am, I accidentally fell asleep and when in the morning I checked my phone I saw opened youtube and finished 3 hour long "sounds of rainforest for sleep" video
I assume there is a specific program running that pairs people who have searched for, shall we say, non-monetizable terms, and uplifting videos about meaning, the philosophy of life, etc. If you are here, you know why...
I feel like this voice will eventually get louder as you age no matter how fun life will be eventually you'll stop and your body will ache of chronic pain and the worst of all is feeling of regret
accept, love and forgive yourself and you won't have any regrets anymore. Sad part is most do this on their death beds. Or never do it at all. Its probably the biggest reasons for peoples depression
I was having a depressive episode this morning, then I saw this through not my recommendations, but sent by a friend through a gc of our group. This.. probably made me cry just seeing it. I've never really told anyone my problems, and I don't see myself doing it in the future, but somehow they gave me a bit of hope to keep going just when I needed it. It's even funnier to me that most of the thoughts I have when I'm In that state is about how my friends don't deserve to be with such a burden like me. They're truly the light of my life, and I can't be more thankful to have them.
Ive been at a point where i didnt actively think about "joining the void" but was in situations where i wondered..."If i do this step, i will join the void and it will be an accident. I didnt do it, it happened" Im doing way better now, 3 years of lots of hard work and suffering and i am happier. I am engaged, i have two cats, a nice job. I did not think i would ever see this. Now i just sometimes wonder about loosing my fiance to some horrible accident but i think thats another point and a different thing to work on. PS: Just as i wrote this, one of my cats brought me his favorite toy he likes to hunt / play with. A squeaky mouse. That moment is precious to me and if you read this, you will also experience moments like that. You just need to keep going
It’s incredible to finally assign a name to this feeling. I’ve experienced “the call of the void” a lot. Almost gave in to it a couple times. But the fact remains that I am here. I am rebelling against the void and creating a meaning for my own life. I really want to get better. Thank you, creator, for giving me such a new perspective on my own life on a random Tuesday night. Much love, Enby 💚
thank you for this beautiful and timely video. have been really close recently to taking that leap, but before I ever take action, the thought of “why die now? you have plenty of time to die” always finds me. having that choice, one so big as choosing whether I live or die is what has made me realize that I have full freedom and control over how my story unfolds, like the freedom you describe in this video. felt validating to have this be expressed by someone else. I think I’ll try to be brave, and live in defiance of this calling. truly, thanks
Be brave because the Government is Holding your Hand for 5 years you can rest assured you can sit back and relax and let the Government do the Job for you after this is done its for someone else to take the hot seat
1:20 when I heard rebellion against the void I had the biggest spark of energy and will to live just to spite the void. The Idea of rebellion and anarchy fills me with life. I have a another reason to live now, to rebel against the void
@@passportkaya they don't think too much about it because of religions, middle east is the most fanatic zone of the world in terms of religion. Remember suicide is considered a big sin
@@AAA-ee3fl suicide is not considered a sin middle East. It's considered a warrior act especially if it's done by a man. You need to study more about middle East if u r gonna talk about it to a middle East expert like me. Over and out.
@@dinoooooom If you do it, which I hope you don't, but if you do, I hope it is your last resort and I hope it is worth it, friend. I don't think it will ever be worth it, maybe it is worth it to some though.
This video truly summarizes my feelings for the past few years now. I usually don't comment on youtube videos but this one's special. I want to leave a comment to remind myself of this. Whenever I feel like I want to end it, I want to be reminded of how free I actually am.
I felt so bad before click in this video, but now you are my hero. And I think I'm ready to keep being the hero of those who love me for a period of time longer.
@@TrulyFailedReal thats why you slowly build down your relationships and make suicide seem like an accident for the ones who are still adamant about remaining in your life - that is if you havent succeeded in removing your relationships entirely
@@DharMahn_ even if you don’t talk to them anymore they still remember you and your still passing pain instead of getting help and improving yourself your only given one chance at life and you even being here is 1 in 400 trillion
@@TrulyFailedReal this is a common prescription: "think of the kids!" and it's certainly true, but deeply misplaced. in this world you are alone. to live exclusively for others is inhuman, because it neglects the self entirely. Death has been demonized as "selfish" in a way that only hurts people who are truly suicidal. It doesn't offer them relief from the pain, just assurance that they will never ever be free from it. People don't see how horribly insensitive this really is
@@DharMahn_If you do that, wouldn’t that just be creating an environment to affirm your suicidal thoughts and self-loathing? I will never blame anyone for committing suicide, but the fact of the matter is that it WOULD hurt other people. Any choice you make can and will have consequences to you, your environment, your friends and family, etc. Trying to limit contact with loved ones in an attempt to mitigate their suffering isn’t actually doing that, they will suffer because you push them away. Depression is rough, I get it, but the logic doesn’t make sense. Whether it looked like an “accident” or not is irrelevant, they still lost a person they cared about. Not trying to rag on you if you feel this way, just pointing out my thoughts
Thanks for the video, while right now I'm not planning on leaving, the void stills reminds of its presence pretty often. So I appreciate this videos of reflection in order to give some meaning to the absurdism of life. For the few people who read this, remember one day at a time ❤
@@winterwulf1995 Back when I was in highschool, I got pretty close to deleting myself. But through a series of difficult events, I caught a glimpse of true beauty, it was enough for me to want to live again.
Its difficult. I've been suicidal for about a decade now. My teenage years just seemed like a constant tumble from one awful place to an even worse one. Whenever I thought things might be changing for the better, reality proved otherwise. Years of abuse left me hating myself and the world around me. I managed to get away from the terrible place I was in, and things have finally improved in my life, but those years have left their scars. Occasionally I still find myself falling into the same despair I lived in every day back then. The self hatred and self destructive thoughts come back. I think about death and suicide often. Not daily like I used to, but still 3-4 days out of the week at least. In those moments, the idea of death isn't scary, but comforting. Death is peace and quiet. Not just an escape from the world around me, but an escape from myself. But I remember I've been through worse. I tell myself that one day I will do it, once the weight of everything becomes too much to bare, but today isn't that day. Tomorrow probably wont be either. Nor the day after that. The day it becomes too much may or not ever come, but that day is not today. Until that day comes, I'll try to make the most of things. Its all i can really do.
Knowing somewhere out there, there's someone fighting the same fight, does give an unique comfort not felt in the mundane happenings of life Stay strong y'all
The funny thing is how senseless it is to live, “life has no value, but nothing is more valuable than life”, the desire to live is irrational, at I least I can’t find an answer, but I for sure want to live. The call of the void is not something that I have experienced too much, the pain, the unbearable suffering is something I’ve tried to scape -in successive act of cowardice- through many different ways but death is not usually one of them. I’m ranting but, on the topic, I find it interesting to notice that even if the question “why should I live?” Does not haves an obvious answer (even though one could say “for happiness, love, pleasure…?”), the other question; “why should I not live?” does not have an easy answer either, in fact, it can be answer with the opposite of the answers of the other question; you shouldn’t live because of pain, suffering stress, sadness, etc.. but you should live because happiness, love, pleasure, bliss… isn’t it strange? There is a sort of “equilibrium”, an utilitarian trap, if you want to, in which there are just as many reasons to live as to not do it, maybe that’s a way of defining the so called “meaninglessness of living/life/existance”, there is just no possible way of knowing what’s better, there is no “value” or “moral value”, it’s just nothing, a blind choice, I don’t think there is any chance of “resisting the absurd” because the absurd is the very experience of being alive, it just makes no sense, it’s a casualty, the pain is washed with happiness and the happiness with pain, truth is that, living for certain things/feelings or dying for certain others it’s strange choice (though I don’t think I’m expressing myself properly), what’s more valuable; pain or happiness? do they value just the same? do they have any value at all? Questions I cannot answer, I guess. And I guess, too, that it does not really matters, for now I’ll go blind, I choose to live, even if there’s no difference, because, for me, the pain is bearable as long as I can chase and fight for my dreams, as long as I can love, the way I feel it, the “good” things win or feel more valuable than the “bad” ones, honestly, I don’t want to think about it anymore, I have other problems, great video btw!
Life's value is its purpose, its purpose it to live, reproduce, and die, and if you can impact humanity is a positive was then that works too. The point of living is to continue to have your species live. We exist to exist.
diversity of the psyches has already begun to narrow; Unity is well underway. This video is one snippet of proof. This archetype of content is only going to grow in number, as will the individuals The soul of the masses is tired, the void calls for a halt to this ceaseless wheel that is life. To those of us who are precursors, our obligation is to accelerate this process Minimizing any further anguish. I am Vayne, “rep.” Of the void; I am you, and this is accountability calling on the grandest of scales.
As someone who still questions if it's depression or just lack of sleep combined with overthinking, I have not reached this state (yet). And the thought that I can still reach it is scary, especially because I barely know a thing about depression. I've wished to become a temporary spectator of someone's life, or to sleep for three months straight. I'm doing what most 'class clowns' do, try to keep other people happy because you don't want them to feel like you. A different video once tought me that I can be a spark in someone's life without doing anything. Without any intended interacion, without me even knowing that I made someone feel better just because of the smile on my face. Even if I wont ever find my true self, this right here might be my actual true self. Thank you for making this video, algorithm did a good job.
I….really needed this video. For me it’s the thought of the future- I’ve come to realize I live for other’s that I love simply because the grief of me being gone would cause them to do the same, however whenever the day comes where I won’t have them anymore, that’s the day I fear I’ll listen to the call. Hinging on the fact of seeing your future in your dreams doesn’t help to reinforce my idea of my demise at my hands. I like living because there are a couple people in my life that I would hate to see them suffer alone through, let alone suffering *I* caused them by being selfish….but what do you do when that’s your only reason?
"True, so do I. But realistically, neither you nor I are going to do it, not because we don't have the balls to do it, but simply because we don't really want to." - Felix Kafner
@@winterwulf1995are you living out of spite then? Ever considered the possibility of surviving your attempt? Ever tried facing your problems instead of seeking an easy way out? Ever thought what will happen afterwards? Are you getting bullied, are you homeless, are you in debt, or are you just Selfish?
I don’t know if you’re still here but there is meaning, & not to sound preachy but there is something after this short time we have here. Christ loves you.
yo hey person who deals with those thoughts daily here (actually not so much now since i got help) don’t commit suicide i tried that and almost died i dunno how to explain it but death is not the answer that’s the only thing i can really think to say i know it’s cliche but still
when i was 23 i suffered from a severe depression, i hit rock bottom and the only thing that kept me alive was the thought of the pain i would cause my parents if i did it..well today, 3 years later, i'm glad i held on and clung to the smallest glimmer of hope. just hold on it will get better
This video really help, this recomendation really scared me, and just finished seeing the video only one thing comes to my mind: I will make life worth for me, I swear
I gave blood a few weeks ago. Still have the needle mark in my arm. It is a reminder that despite everything in the world that is going wrong, I did a small part in trying to help someone. That is meaningful to me. The reminder that small things can still have an impact, even when we don't see it.
"pulling the trigger is just like turning out a light.... in one breath, one second.... shorter than that time it would take to blink one last time, then you're gone..... just like taking the step off the ledge" Haven't heard the term "call of the void" for a handful of years now, but I did need to see and hear this so thank you and God bless.
I know why this was recommended to me, I understood how perfectly it was recommended for me when the picture used at 1:48 is my desktop wallpaper since many years.
There are at the moment 3 things that keep me going: 1) My friends and family, who'd be sad that I'm no longer around 2) I think I can change this world for the better, even just a little bit 3) I want to find out what comes next just mirbid curiosity
I’ve been doing shitty for 3 years straight, and I’m kinda hopeless, and for 3 years the thought has always been in the back of my head “what if you just..” and I feel nothing, but I don’t want to die, I want to be happy I want to find a reason to live for myself not just living for others. I’ve tried to fix myself and I don’t know what to do I opened up, I drew it, I wrote it, I did everything. I told my parents 3 years ago and they dismissed me and did nothing. I’m completely hopeless and I just wanna find something to help, other than small distractions I want a solution. But I don’t even know if it’s possible. I’m still a teenager, and I want to live, I wanna see the future I wanna have a bf and be loved and have my first kiss and get a dog and get a cool job. But I’m stuck in this cycle that somehow is getting worse
@@Lydiaaaa11 go to bed tonight and imagine your at a restaurant or something and sit down and talk to to that inner voice hurting you I know it sounds really dumb but actually imagining your talking to him helps Also there’s an amazing movie called Soul watching it is very healing
Tbf, if I read your comment correctly you are still ver young. All those questions in your head will be answered sooner or later. Same counts for the problems you have, they will be solved sooner or later. It’s not weird for a teenager to struggle with life. Every teenager endured that. (If it’s really bad you can still choose to talk with a psychiatrist)
when the void calls me but i remember i gotta learn japanese so i can watch the last episode of one piece without subtitles, and also so i can hit the gym… the void calls, but i force myself to listen to the light
I love videos like this where you can listen to and just think about what it's telling you, you're not being yelled at loudly in an overly annoying voice and jingling keys in front of the microphone just to keep your attention, and distract you from the reality, it doesn't drag the time on to avoid conveying the most simple idea across to the viewer and it doesn't make you have to melt into the video to fully experience it, it gives the blunt of message it is trying to convey and tells you what you need, I can listen to this and move on, I got the message and I understand it, thank you.
You know what scares me the most. Train Stations. Feeling the weight of those Train Wheels is so overwhelming my body wants to jump under the Train and my Mind says "oh hell nah". Like they always fight and my Soul in third person gets to watch the inner fight. I dont know how to describe it but thats what I define Call of the Void.
i really needed this video right now. I have recently come the closest i have ever been to ending my own life. I feel like this video has given me a push back in the right direction, thank you
0:11 i actually start thinking that even tho i wanna stop existing after that one step yet there's possibilities of my survival afterwards with a few broken bones, so i step back and start calculating for the one with no comebacks and I guess I'll keep calculating for quite a while. Reality is messy or I'm just dum
@@MrCmon113 yeah would go to a hill station, find a deep sharp decent cliff more of a secluded one to avoid attention, keeping it for the next call. That one is definitely gonna work or there's always burning yourself to death laying back in the closet but you gotta agree mountains are just the best. Anyways, I'm staying for a bit, it seems fun to work hard for nothing or just for the sake of it or its just the idea of things being fun, pretty awesome it is. Have a good time ahead.
Just like 3:48 the only reason I haven't ended myself yet is because it'd deeply upset some people (not many but I do care about them) and because my wonderful pets depend on me. Once they're all gone I promise nothing about staying alive.
Same here, I live for my family not for myself. Right now it feels a bit better but far far from good. I just hope for all of us struggling that we all find something more to live for and become happy, please take care of yourself right now either way and you are a good person for not wanting to abandon your people you care about and your pets ❤
You may live only for your loved ones at the time, but I’m sure you will find new interests, meet new people and have more to live for, it might be hard some days and you will have the feeling that your struggles will never end but in reality those feelings are never permanent. I cannot stop you but by committing you miss the opportunity to see yourself grow better. Don’t give up please
I think there’s a lot of people that carry a base sense of empathy. Clearly this is seen with the people who replied to your comment myself included. I’m not sure what makes you think like you don’t live for yourself, but I hope the idea or fact that people generally care about strangers helps with whatever you’re going through. I hope you become a person you want to live for long after your pets
This was really helpful. There are some people in my life who I think I'm able to talk to, but I can't. This video really showed me that there in-fact is still some light in the dark. That everything will eventually be ok, that even after everything that has happened and everything that will happen, I can recover, I can get better. I've been having some negative thoughts for quite a while now and my only escape from this is games and talking to friends. I enjoy spending time with my family but sometimes I feel like I need my own time, You know? Sometimes things get tough and I find it hard to mask it from my friends and family. Just knowing that there are other people just like me out there, watching this, feeling this, I have one piece of advice for you. The mirror doesn't smile until you do my friend. You could mask your emotions like you mask a cake with icing but when you inevitably take a bite of that cake, you still get a taste of the actual cake. I'm waffling a little but it's true. Lets take your emotions as a cake, the negative emotions making the base and the masked happiness making the icing. No matter how much icing you put over your negative emotions, no matter how much you mask your sadness and dissatisfaction, it'll all come back to you in the end. Just keep thriving my friends. Anyone who reads this. Just keep going. Everything will be ok.
i'm so scared of death bc of how it lurks and one day it would just appear out of nowhere and then... we are gone. i've always feel trapped between not wanting to live and not wanting to die, and i thought choosing when we're gonna die is a better choice at least bc we are the one who made the choice. we know when and how it's gonna happen, we know what will happen. and this way of thinking terrified me so much bc i'm scared if one day i'm gonna do it. the thought of it is getting more and more possible.
The worst part is when people think you are just being weird or a freak because they don't understand why you behave the way you do. I have ADHD, BPD and major depressive disorder and I've always found it difficult to act the way society wants me to also I have persistent Anhedonia even if I'm medicated. Wanting to be gone is more like an escape path because you are a 100% convinced that there's no other way. I struggle with that daily and it's basically a compulsive permanent thought which is following me throughout my life.
Such a intriguing fucking video I love it. Also it recommended me verly specifically when I was thinking about going to the void. Thanks man ly you saved many souls
Life is pain. Death is nothingness. I've been enveloped in dark thoughts for the better part of my life since I turned 17 years old. I'm now 34 and I still get occasional "calls from the void". What has made me going on? I spend time in work, virtual reality and trying out new hobbies. Started going to ballroom dance classes two years ago. I have been suffering from touch starvation all my adult life. With dancing I can connect physically with other people. That's better way to boost your spirit than any therapy. I also have started visiting indoor gunrange with my colleagues once a month. That also gets your mind off from work when you focus on gun safety and shooting properly.
If anybody is out there going through somethings, just keep living please. One of my best friends entered the void. Definitely changed my outlook on life. Even though I don’t know you, I love you
Thank you soo much for this video! I love your point of view and animation style. I know that if you can understand all of us so deeply that means you need to pass through hard time to. That's why your job is very important. Keep going, bro, you make our lifes better and meaningful. I hope that you'll find your peace in this world ❤
I've threatened to do it a few different times throughout my life but not until about two weeks ago that I actually got in a place darker and more painful than anything I've ever felt in my life and I'm 52 and grew up being severely beaten by dad who was a cop and then once I became an adult it's been one thing after another with times here and there that were the greatest experiences of my life but it seems that the greater the life and my experiences got the worse it was when it was gone. But 8 years ago I met my true soulmate and she gave me my only biological son and then a daughter that's unbelievably gorgeous and smart like her mom. But there's 14 years difference in our age and because of the abuse and other crap in my life that turned me into a cold hard person with a huge ego and way too much pride and like they say pride comes before the fall. And it did it did in such a way that this one singular mistake has forever changed my life my heart and my soul. There's no words to even describe the amount of damage I caused and like the idiot I am I didn't know what I was truly losing until I lost it. I mean yeah does it sound cliche and I know because of that people won't fully understand the seriousness of this situation but let me assure you that it's one thing when your relationship breaks apart and it's just a regular love or something like that but when you destroy the love and connection you have with your true soulmate it does damage on a whole other level. So the very day her and our amazing beautiful children left I hit rock bottom and smacked through the basement and into a place that I had never even imagined existed. I knew that right then and there I was going to be able to activate do it and nothing would stop me. No fear no second thoughts no nothing would stand in the way. So I was going to get my instrument of quick departure when someone came exactly at the right time and stopped me. So I ended up allowing friends and family help me through that particular part of it but then a few days ago I realized that I don't have to do it to myself that what I did was so powerful and destructive and killed a part of me that I will never get back and because of that it's only a matter of time and not long either before I pass away from a heart attack or something like that. I feel it and it's so obvious and I know that I did something to the greatest most amazing woman I've ever known in my whole life and our children and that has a price to pay that I have to pay for. I can't live without them it sounds ridiculous I know I really know but I have been through all kinds of stuff and had really terrible things happen to me but I always felt in my heart that I was going to bounce back and recover from it better than I was before. Not this though this did something to me I can't get past. Really don't even want to. Right now this very moment or any time on out if I could trade my life for everything to be right and good again for her I don't even to think about it.. Let's get it done. I don't just want to end it I don't want to even exist in any sort of way. I can't even count how many relationships and loves and all that that I've had in life but I had no idea that this level of love existed and let me tell you with her I experienced God level of greatness of feelings and emotions and ecstacy in intimacy and because of that I know there's no one else out there who could remotely come close to her so there's no point in anything less and I don't even want anyone else. I hope none of you ever find yourself in the place I'm at now I really wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. When the end comes calling I'm going to answer that call with urgency and not fight it one bit.. It's been a long crazy wild painful happy horrible amazing life I'm tired I'm done...
I'm so sorry. May I ask what you did that was so unforgivable? Is it really a one-time thing? It seems unfair to you to disappear after everything being perfect. Was it to them though, up until that point? Are you sure you can't fix things? Take it easy, one day at a time.
@4:29 if it wasn't for my brother still needing me i'd have swolled a bunch of my meds decades ago. i live not for myself but my brothers, my father and yes even for my abusive mother..... "i can't afford not to care anymore...." i need to keep living for those who would be left behind by my actions. i can't afford to give up on life, even if i really want to. my life isn't my own anymore....
brooo you can't choose your relatives so try make some friends instead of push people away. most people in reality can only count their closed ones on 1 hand.
Hey, I wanted to thank you for making this video. For the past five years I'm suffering almost all the time, and nothing like this video helped me to understand the feeling of "wanting to leave this world". Thank you for doing this, I'll keep watching your videos! Take care guys, you can do this! PS. Sorry if I made any mistakes, I'm learning English
I generally don't feel like dying voluntarily, and the world...seems contingent on me doing what I say I intend to do, but, I don't really care about anyone in a way that matters, and vice versa I just sit around stagnating and declining while I'm stuck in a rut and life pushes me around like a rag doll I'm not just stoic while occasionally freaked; I'm bored and effectively anhedonic and desperate for self-contentment
i desperately needed this. ever since a few years ago ive just been feeling like shit. i dont know why and i dont feel like i have anyone i can talk too, I never vent on random videos, i never talk to anyone about it, i just keep it to myself. ive put a knife to my head multiple times wondering if i should, wondering why i shouldnt, wondering and wondering. ive been pondering the meaning of my life more and more as ive grown but this video has given me more reason to not put that knife into my skull. ive never seen myself dieing from a disease or old age, just suicide. i never saw my self past 25. but now, thanks to this video i start to feel just a little more hope for my future and a little more meaning. so thank you
I did after an overdose and I realized how selfish I was only thinking about myself and not considering the impact it had on my family but that was 8 years ago though so I’m fine.
@@Talonqwrthat’s… that doesn’t sound quite right. no i don’t think you’re selfish for trying to end something so painful that you felt as though that was the only way. anyone who tries to guilt trip you about that is inconsiderate. you need compassion not self blame.
If only people embraced the call of the void in everyday circumstances we might shape the world to being a better place. People that have nothing to lose or simply aren't afraid of death can be dangerous but in contrast it also says I won't be taken advantage of.
I watched all of this video, it’s currently 1 am and I got this on my recommended. This was a nice thing to watch before sleeping, thank you so much for making this video. I’ll remember what you said and treasure this video forever, maybe it saved me with the quotes alone.
@@TheGamer-ry5ib I wish I had something good to say, but I agree. Unless you are living out of spite, or for a person or idea equally as strong (or more), the call of the void is quite enticing. Find something worth living for, if you can't find one you won't make it.
I feel like youtube can read my mind. I'm 13 dealing with depression and suicide thoughts. I dont want to commit it but my brain is obsessed with it or something... Yesterday I told my theripist and hopefully things get better. Im scared but im trying. My characters I drew is what is let alone keeping me alive. I vent and process things through them and stuff.
I really appreciate the algorithm sharing this important video. While thankfully I’ve gotten over a stage of my life were I was stuck in a depression for years due to school and having to be forced out of my own comfort in environment that was difficult because I’m an introvert and trauma of getting my space invaded by people that I thought were friends but they keep invading that space. I know I will get sad sometimes, Depression isn’t something that will Permanently go away but reminders like this always help and gets me to see another day
Living for others is pointless, they'll just exploit you if you do that, humanity is predatory by nature. Just reducing the amount of suffering the ones close to you go through, and on non-human beings is pretty much the only thing worth doing. Life is pointless.
Nah your view is as naïve as overly positive optimists. Science proves humans are as altruistic and prone to mutual aid as to competition: it varies depending on external factors. I will just say this: Ted Kaczynski was right.
The way I think of it, the concept of meaning itself is unnatural. It is born out of our ability to think, plan, reason and make connections being so hightened that we experience distress when we don't see connections, when things don't make sense. Even to the point we create gods and study science. Because we want things to make sense. It is entirely human-centric. We are only ones who experience meaning, and thus, we are the only ones who give things meaning. We don't choose things because they are special, much rather, they are special because we choose them, because we decided they are special.
I am so happy that I found this video. I personally didn’t need it since I’ve gotten myself help, but I have a friend who definitely needed this, and I hope to console them a bit because I love them :)
The scary part of standing on a ledge of a tall building, it's not worrying that you'll fall off, it's actually the fear that you might want to jump off. What scared me is that I really wanted to do it. The greatest beauty i've had is dying. I don't care anymore whether I live or die. I accept my death. I will take the entire Universe with me. There won't be any suffering because I'm taking you all with me.
that was indeed a pretty specific recommendation.
Lmao
quite
Indubitably
Indeed.
"The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it, one gets through many a dark night."
the scariest thing for me is that it *isnt* as easy as it feels, theres always a chance you could survive an attempt, and a major chance in it that youll be left in a terrible, terrible state.
yeah fr. gladly that didn't happen to me
I think that's what stops many from taking the chance at leaving this clown world.
@@KathiOsborn yup. When I try I was so scared. The fact that after the TRY, I didn't have anyone to tell. Anyone that would care. Or if I tryed to seek conform in telling someone they wouldn't care.
That just worked almost like gasoline to a car, Unluckily that had an impact on my pysche and on myself, because someone with 12 should not be wanting to end this place.
make it guaranteed
@@KathiOsborn diversity of the psyches has already begun to narrow;
Unity is well underway.
This video is one snippet of proof.
This archetype of content is only going to grow in number, as will the individuals
The soul of the masses is tired, the void calls for a halt to this ceaseless wheel that is life.
To those of us who are precursors, our obligation is to accelerate this process
Minimizing any further anguish.
I am Vayne, “rep.” Of the void;
I am you, and this is accountability calling on the grandest of scales.
6:08 "Sometimes, just making it to tomorrow is the most heroic thing that we can do." Damn, that actually hit.
Stoics had a saying, I think it came from Seneca. I think it goes "Sometimes, to even live, is an act of courage."
Algorithm has my back this night
Stay strong.
You got this. Don't give up.
The algorithm always has your back (;
Hope this night too❤
@@shonzu04 Stay strong.
i truly believe the worst thing in existence is suffering without purpose.
it is, especially with daily physical chronic pains as well
Fun fact: we only have one birthday, others are just congratulations for surviving
@@pavlo5551 damn
Is it better to exist in suffering or to not exist at all? Feel pain or lose the ability to feel
Also, yeah I believe there is purpose. not gonna go on a eight paragraph long rant, but for something to exist, there is something that has to be eternal (God). And that thing that's eternal, made us. Nothing is ever made just for.. nothing. It feels hopeless at times, but there is a purpose. There is reason everyone goes through the things they do.
Suffering is the purpose 😈😈
I have had the worst year of my life begin in August of 2023. My mom left abandoning the family, stole my car and physically harm me. On top of it being my last year of high school, being hospitalized and in a coma in September from a seizure at school, resulting in me losing months with multiple hospitalizations. Ending up with her threating my life and attempting to take hers. Eventually to have my car retuned and driving it in April resulting in me being hurt in a bad car accident. Everything around me seemed worthless. I didn't care if I died in my sleep. And one night sitting alone at home with a gun in my hand, it made me realize that even if I don't life for the enjoyment of myself, that I should keep living for the one person that cared for me. I have several people in my life that I have saved with my presence, that had I listened to the call, would no longer be here.
I love you guys,
Take care.
Anything about your dad, uncles, aunts, grandparents, about what is the religion of theirs, yours, the mom? Because religiousness of parents can matter. Is English your ethnic language?
@@AbayBentin it'd be a long story, that I wish to not comment on because of privacy, sorry
@@everythingeverett3021 life is full of absurdities that can drag you down and are no fault of your own. seems like you had a bad draw and are experiencing lots of these things at once and at a young age. things will not necessarily be like that forever. Actually, the odds are that they won't be, things will even out, and you'll have some positive things happen to you. just stick it out and give time a chance to do its thing.
Thanks for sharing. I’m sorry you had to live through all of this, that’s a lot!
I’m glad you came to some sort of peace with it.
Pls come to Jesus, He will save you! John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
I know nobody will ever read this. But the fact that so many other comments are here in the last few days gives me, almost a small bit of comfort. I've had, such, an incredibly terrible year. I started it almost homeless. My family has left me. I have never been more alone in my life, in my 24 years here. I have never felt more unhappy. But I want to live. I want to keep on going, I want to see a tomorrow that's better. But it's hard, you know? I wanna talk to more people, but then they push me away. I want to learn art in different ways, but feel so lost about it with even less help. But I want, I WANT to survive. I joke to myself that I'll find that forever person, the soul to match the missing pieces I know I've lost years ago. Decades even. That gives me a small bit of strength. I have to go to bed right now for a morning shift, taking a long bus-ride to work, then a long bus-ride back. It's always empty. It's always lonely. I have no service on my phone when I take the trek, and even when I get to work, I have no friends to talk to. It's... rough. But then I read all the other comments here, all these other lost sparks who are just as forgotten, or uncared about as me. And honestly? I want you, reading this, to know that I care about you. There is only ONE you. There will only ever be one version of me. There will only ever be one version of you. Even if we're all grains of sand on this dirty ass beach we call life, we're still all unique. I pray and hope that you and I can find peace. If not from a god, then from another soul. Stay strong. Let out your tears when you need to. I have boundless love to give, but nobody to give it to. But you, reading this? In this moment, I can say we're friends. Thank you, if you did read this. You have no idea how much it means to me. - Squall E.
thank you, Squall E. this means a lot. My year hasn’t been the best either, I’ve lost my dog, I’m scared to death of losing my friends, and I’m horrified of one day ending it all for some stupid, petty reason. But this comforts me as well, as twisted as it sounds. Just knowing there’s others who can be helped or others who can relate, makes me only want to help them more, at least in any way I can.
I’m glad TH-cam showed me this video and this comment, and I hope and pray everything will be better for the fellow sufferers and for you as well.
Hope to meet you again, stranger
You're a kindred spirit, you're an unseen friend who I send my sincere best wishes to, for what it's worth. Your words are touching and appreciated. Thank you. Please look after yourself
I dunno you, but had major depressive episodes as well and arguably was where you are (sort of). If you have watched Chainsaw Man, reduced to someone like Denji, weirdly such a fucked up story gave me hop, he would just continue to live for warm food or having a nice bed available. sometimes, that is all that can make your day. Taking a shower, having a nice meal, having a good phone call with a friend or family. Eveerything is useless. If you fuck up at your job will mean nothing in 100 years. the biggest corporations will be moot in 100 years too probably, every achievement will be swallowed by oblivion at one point. might as well live, right? this is still copium, but it is the better alternative to just ending it now. I would NOT recommend to read the conspiracy against the human race by Thomas Ligotti, usually horror author (I love horror), but it is almost more of a philosophical essay, just how we are sort of unnatural things and our consciousness dooms us to know about our death and we do not really have a reason to continue, hence suicide. in a way, that book confirmed my pessimistic views, but if essentially the point of the book is, nothing matters, better end it now, almost defiantly, it made me appreciate life more. Kierkegaard is also interesting: If you read "Sickness unto Death" by him, he asks almost the same questions as Ligotti, as the biggest problems we have is not realizing we are desparate, then the problem of deseparately wanting to be someone else or to be yourself, but not being able to. the answer to this (obviously, since he was christian) is faith. Now that might be something that works for you or not, but you could put something else in place of faith, i.e. camus absurdism or nietzschean hedonism or rather making up your own values, it might be out of pure spite (almost like a Sith that just feeds on hatred or pain like Sion in KOTOR 2) or something else. I mean we all, the whole freaking universe is going to die anyway, right? so despite all the loss, pain and so on, maybe lets continue to live anyway? I had a pretty shit vacation where I vomited all over the place, probably food poisoning. This made me realize how fragile our bodies are actually, that the difference between death and life can sometimes be a dumb incident like getting infected by something you otherwise might have never encountered or not staying hydrated by a mere 100 ml that might make or brake it for your body. Tiny, miniscule stuff like that. And that sort of puts things in perspective... I had missed my flight, the airline had lost my luggage, I was sick in another country, just praying to make it to the next day in the sense that the water I drank to stay hydrated stays in. And despite that (quite literally) shitty situation, I managed to enjoy the sunshine on one day, to savor the food I ate (and later regurgitated) and thought: "well, even with this pain of existing, of our weak, fallible, frail bodies, life is worht living". IDK, just rambling now, but maybe you can find situations like that too. I sort of see this as my villain era sort of... I am not really happy with my life, yet in principle, everything is taken care of, I have a job, enough money to actually go on vacation and so on, yet no meaningful relationships to speak of, not happy with where I am right now in life and so on and yet I go on, just thinking about how I might piss off peers or family and yet not giving a single fuck. I just live for myself, doing what makes me happy, trying what I can get away with (i.e. becoming bolder, setting boundaries, maybe starting shit just for the fun of it, cause that can also be situations where you feel "alive") and so on. Maybe that helps too, even if a little unconventional. Maybe keep on living just to know how bad the middle east war will get or climate change. Sounds like the really asshole thing to say, not being the noble "I am gonna save shit" but rather "let me grab my popcorn and see just how fucked up this absurd existence and non-existence we cause actually is". sometimes being the observer is enough to center your thoughts, to get a clear head (actually a concept in buddhism as well... sort of if I am interpreting that correctly).
Your comment touched my heart, and I feel compelled to write back to you because I have known that kind of loneliness. In fact I was rather intimate with it for many, many years.
Modern society has made a mockery of Jesus, and man has made a mockery of his church (for the most part). So what I'm about to say next has been ingrained in young minds to be trite, and simple bullshit, BUT! Turn to Jesus. He IS the Way, the TRUTH, and the Life. He IS living. He does love you. He is waiting outside the door to your heart, but he is not going to push the door open, you must open it to him.
I'm turning 50 years old in a few days. From the outside, my appearance is completely average, my intelligent slightly higher than most, I'm mildly introverted, but not socially awkward. I last dated a girl when I was 21, she broke my heart, and I haven't actively pursued a relationship since. For 25 years after, I was a functioning alcoholic, and my only social life was a distant brother, and online gaming, but by the grace of God I finally saw the light and sobered up 4 years ago.
What lessons have I learned? That I have never been alone. That even when I wasn't aware of, or actively seeking his presence, Jesus was there. Patiently waiting for me to open the door. With the acknowledgement of his presence I don't feel alone, in fact I have found contentment (for the most part, life can be a bitch sometimes).
So I humbly request that you forget about any preconceived notions that you have of Jesus, find a Bible (www.biblestudytools.com/), read the NIV, or ESV versions because the King James translation is just hard to understand. Go to the Book of John in the New Testament and read about Christ. Learn what he is trying to teach mankind, and finally realize that he did live, that he does live, and that he is THE TRUTH. I pray these words find you, and that you will at least, with an open mind and heart read the Book of John.
♥
Props to you for not saying “unalive”
Seriously, there's dozens of ways for people to express the concept of life ending, and youtubers/tiktokers landed on "unalive"
It was ironically coined by Deadpool mocking said censorship.
@@honeycomblord9384 "And you landed on McLovin?" Ahh comment lol
@@Possums_Rcool didn't even realize that LMAO
@@A_Hylian_Not_An_Elf when?
I lost my best friend in life to the void this year in May. I miss him forever, and so too will everyone else. The thing that hurts the most is that everyone who knew him will never get to experience the inevitable happiness that would have come into his life, and share it with him. RIP Nic. I love you and miss you forever.
I have severe depression and I’ve been thinking a lot more about suicide. I don’t want to die yet, but I don’t want to live either. I’m stuck in an endless loop of agony and loneliness.
I'm in the same boat I wouldn't consider myself severely depressed but I am tired I simply want out because of the absurdity
depression is such a bitch
i don't know the right approach to this type of stuff but i suggest to talk to someone (or me since i want to lol) and/or enjoying the nature
Hey, I used to suffer from severe depression too
It's painful waking up everyday as a husk, not knowing the purpose why you still live
I have a question for you, do you have someone to talk about your problems?
At least wait and see who wins the election first.
"Sometimes even to live is an act of courage" is a quote I'd never thought I'd need to hear
Living takes no courage. Living with certain consequences, would make sense
@@TrueCasualYT spoken like a true child with no responsibilities. I don't know if you are a child, but any bill paying adult knows that living certainly takes more than 'no' courage. So it seems you are babby still on mommy's teat. Am I wrong?
@@TrueCasualYT there's pain that is inherent to life. Losing loved ones, or being abandoned by them, one or the other will haunt you eventually. For me, it takes an insurmountable amount of courage to get up in the morning. Sure, I'm mostly fine, but I have a bleak outlook, simply because I know too much. 25% of men 18-30 are virgins, and 24% are at age 30. So if you're 18 or older, there's a 96% chance you will literally be a 30 year old virgin. The housing bubble. I'm a youngin' and I see the writing on the wall. Housing prices are too damn high, so I can't build wealth, and there HAS to be a crash eventually, so I'm scared to try to own a home.
The general outlook is looking quite bleak as well. Income inequality is at an all time high with no signs of stopping. Some of our most basic rights are being challenged (eg, some states have relaxed child labor laws)
Climate change, no brainer, will cause economic collapse and food shortages, which will cause coups and wars. I don't want to be in the crossfire when shit hits the fan
The pandemic fucked me and my entire generation up socially and psychologically. These pains run deep, even for those of us lucky enough to not lose anyone still bear the burder of economic collapse (as well as wars that have predictably followed and will predictably follow)
I'm at an age where if a draft is enforced, I'll be on that list. If that happens, I will go down swinging. I'm not fighting any wars, unless it is unambigious, and from my experience. Even then it depends. Am I fighting armed civilians brainwashed into hate? It doesn't matter, its not really their fault, so any murder (except self defense) is morally aprehensible. I don't care if it's a nazi. Nazi commander, sure, but a civilian? It's too complicated. What message does that send? That violence is wrong and that we should defeat it with violence? What hipocracy.
What's the point of it all if I can't even be offered human decency? I NEED a purpose, but have watched my folks fail to meet their goals. I don't want a goal because I'll be crushed if I never get there. All that walking over glass for a glass shard right up my urethra. I've watched my parents do the best they could, and they still struggle. What's life got to offer me but despair?
I know too much and it pains me to know it. THe problem, too, is that no amount of convincing me will change that. I already know the American Dream not only is a lie, but always has been. What do I expect out of that? I'm too socially inept to find love, and frankly, don't want to drag someone down with me as I decline into either madness or self destruction. I don't want to vote for candidates that at best offer to keep things the same and at worse want to regress society back to the middle ages
Society, it's fucked, and I really don't see any point. There is no golden goose. I have no purpose, I have no goals beyond wiping my ass after I shit, and I don't have anyone that drives me to do better. I'm not a dad who wants to get a raise to pay for his kid's bike for Christmas. I am just walking forward, aimlessly, and eventually, blinded as I am, will hit wall after wall, each time weakening my soul.
This entire framing is also why I'm not a fan of commitment. Life will get in the way, whether you want it to or not, and commitment to life goals often leaves many of us empty handed. If I expect an empty hand and end up with more, I've won, and that's success. If I expect to live in a cardboard box and live in an apartment for 1000$ / month, that's moving up. Set the bar low, because you don't know how life has set it for you. Will you hurdle over the bar or face plant it and fall back down? If I expect a trip, at least I can prepare myself for the broken teeth I pick from the pavement
Sorry about the rambling, i'm just venting because all my friends talk to me like once a year max.
@@popcultureprogrammer2171 Humans greatest weakness, is their mind. You are spending too much time thinking and overthinking, you are literally trapped in your own head. You must either be strong enough not to drown or interact with other people to distract yourself. You sound like you got too much free time to be stuck in your own head. Because i am stuck in my head, since i am antisocial, but i am logical, so i don't have any irrational toughts like you do and i've seen all atrocities of the world. World won't fix itself anytime soon and we might all die before it happens.
I wish the best for you and anyone reading this
just remember: if you can't stay to comfort someone you love, stay to spite someone you hate.
humans have two strengths: to love and to spite
also questionable pfp and username
@@oddbush oooooookayyy didn't have to say that part
The problem comes when you feel so worthless and alone that people don’t even try to antagonize you anymore, ‘cause they know (or maybe they don’t, that’s the point) how much far a broken person can go, so they just decide to ignore you altogether, never thought I’d miss having a figure to hate, but here we are, I guess…
I'm queer. Every breathe I take is an insult to the man who raised me.
"We create meaning, we decide that life is worth meaning, not because the universe had a plan for us, but because we chose to fight against its indifference."
Well said.
It's worth a try, until you realise that fighting a war of attrition alone against the universe will not end in your favor.
@@jeflha what do you mean? would fighting a war of attrition with more than 1 person end with better outcomes?
@@jeflha You really think Camus didn’t account for that obvious fact? It’s about finding happiness through the act of rebellion, not about actually somehow “cheating death”. The point is the journey, not the destination
@@jeflha
LIVE IS A JOURNEY 🛣️🔥🔥‼️‼️
NOT A DESTINATION 💥💥‼️‼️‼️
ENJOY THE RIDE 🔥🔥 🚗 WITH ALL UPS ⬆️ AND DOWN ⬇️
You can fight as hard as you want, it wont change anything.🙈😂
"To live another day could be a heroic act on itself"
Words to live by. I will remember it. Thank you.
And yet the "coward's way out" requires commitment. Some hero you are.
"Dying is gay"
Thats what keeps me going
The heroic act benefits nobody, not even yourself. Only suffering continues. Without purpose, there is no reason to even struggle. Purpose has been engineered out of life itself. You're not "heroically" going to do anything in your life.
@@greg0050 but to live in and of itself can carry with it a sort of joyful purity, born entirely out of the systems of humanity and our world around us. To predicate purpose to live is to expect fulfilment through some sort of internal metric, which would leave someone ultimately at the mercy of their successes, slave to their mind. Regardless of the state of suffering, the sanctity of life as a process remains, interlocked to the instinctual drive to live. Although you may not 'heroically' do anything in your life, you shan't 'pitifully' carry on through life bearing dishonour just for the action of existing.
@@drowsymt5795 Except it does. All society venerates purpose and value. It assigns wealth, family and usefulness to dignity. It shows no respect to anyone not being useful. There's no "living to live". Chasing hedonistic pleasures and experience for its own sake with no goal, result or value extracted is hollow. Nothing can be gained from suffering just for suffering's sake while wallowing in the ruins of what the world leaves as scraps for the unproducing. To not be alive would be objectively better.
I've been struggling with death anxiety a lot recently and this video really helped. I still feel that anxiety, and I don't know if it'll ever stop, but this definitely made me feel better.
I feel the pull harder and harder each day. The older I've become the harder its to ignore it. I'm just so tired.
Kyllä sää selviät :D
I know the feeling man, don't worry, shit gets tough but shit can always get better
for real. the pessimism is starting to kick in.
dont
@@D00m3r3tt3Saying that doesn't help someone who's in such a place. If someone is ready to kill themselves it means they've lost all hope. So saying something like "it can always gets better" is literally ineffective because they are incapable of believing that to be true. Especially if their life has proven to them over and over that it never gets better.
My most radical belief is that everything's going to be okay.
Real
Life will teach you better
@@winterwulf1995 amen
111 likes on this comment, nice
@@winterwulf1995 Why is that?
Knowing I will die someday has kept me alive so far. There is no need to rush something that is certain to happen.
"There is no need to rush something that is certain to happen." Oh, but there is... like, cutting your losses, for one thing.
Gotta love how TH-cam curated this to me and only over 400 others (at this time). TH-cam knows us better than we think.
I'll tell you morr, youtube knows when you fall asleep. So I was watching shadiversity video about swords and shit at 3 am, I accidentally fell asleep and when in the morning I checked my phone I saw opened youtube and finished 3 hour long "sounds of rainforest for sleep" video
I assume there is a specific program running that pairs people who have searched for, shall we say, non-monetizable terms, and uplifting videos about meaning, the philosophy of life, etc.
If you are here, you know why...
@@Kyrgizion i have not searched anything related to that within the past year
Nah. Just enough to know when to herd the flock back to pasture. Tomorrow's a work day.
@@Kyrgizion the worst I’ve searched is Signalis and russian post punk lol
I feel like this voice will eventually get louder as you age no matter how fun life will be eventually you'll stop and your body will ache of chronic pain and the worst of all is feeling of regret
That's when you fight back, the voice is a siren's call, luring you to do it but in actuality, it's a trap
Resist it, fight it, you will win
accept, love and forgive yourself and you won't have any regrets anymore. Sad part is most do this on their death beds. Or never do it at all. Its probably the biggest reasons for peoples depression
I was having a depressive episode this morning, then I saw this through not my recommendations, but sent by a friend through a gc of our group.
This.. probably made me cry just seeing it. I've never really told anyone my problems, and I don't see myself doing it in the future, but somehow they gave me a bit of hope to keep going just when I needed it. It's even funnier to me that most of the thoughts I have when I'm In that state is about how my friends don't deserve to be with such a burden like me. They're truly the light of my life, and I can't be more thankful to have them.
"life may be absurd but we are free to embrace that absurdity" - loved it!
Im glad you did :)
Ive been at a point where i didnt actively think about "joining the void" but was in situations where i wondered..."If i do this step, i will join the void and it will be an accident. I didnt do it, it happened"
Im doing way better now, 3 years of lots of hard work and suffering and i am happier. I am engaged, i have two cats, a nice job. I did not think i would ever see this.
Now i just sometimes wonder about loosing my fiance to some horrible accident but i think thats another point and a different thing to work on.
PS: Just as i wrote this, one of my cats brought me his favorite toy he likes to hunt / play with. A squeaky mouse. That moment is precious to me and if you read this, you will also experience moments like that. You just need to keep going
I would not be here if I did not have my fur baby. No doubt, none.
It’s incredible to finally assign a name to this feeling. I’ve experienced “the call of the void” a lot. Almost gave in to it a couple times. But the fact remains that I am here. I am rebelling against the void and creating a meaning for my own life. I really want to get better. Thank you, creator, for giving me such a new perspective on my own life on a random Tuesday night. Much love, Enby 💚
thank you for this beautiful and timely video. have been really close recently to taking that leap, but before I ever take action, the thought of “why die now? you have plenty of time to die” always finds me. having that choice, one so big as choosing whether I live or die is what has made me realize that I have full freedom and control over how my story unfolds, like the freedom you describe in this video. felt validating to have this be expressed by someone else. I think I’ll try to be brave, and live in defiance of this calling.
truly, thanks
You are brave already :) thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts
Be brave because the Government is Holding your Hand for 5 years you can rest assured you can sit back and relax and let the Government do the Job for you after this is done its for someone else to take the hot seat
lets switch it on its head Call of the Government
@@lawrup ?
1:20 when I heard rebellion against the void I had the biggest spark of energy and will to live just to spite the void. The Idea of rebellion and anarchy fills me with life. I have a another reason to live now, to rebel against the void
Average eastern European afternoon
@@passportkaya they don't think too much about it because of religions, middle east is the most fanatic zone of the world in terms of religion. Remember suicide is considered a big sin
@@passportkayaatleast that's the image we have about them in occident
@@AAA-ee3fl suicide is not considered a sin middle East. It's considered a warrior act especially if it's done by a man. You need to study more about middle East if u r gonna talk about it to a middle East expert like me. Over and out.
@@passportkaya so how it is? its only sin when they dont take as many peoples lives away
That's true
Someday, but not today
no
never
Hopefully soon
(as in like, for myself)
@dionoooooom it’s not worth it dude 🫂 Idk you but I’m always here if you need to talk
@@dinoooooom dude dont do it
@@dinoooooom If you do it, which I hope you don't, but if you do, I hope it is your last resort and I hope it is worth it, friend. I don't think it will ever be worth it, maybe it is worth it to some though.
0:55 this is my favorite quote now, also had deja vu watching this
This video truly summarizes my feelings for the past few years now. I usually don't comment on youtube videos but this one's special. I want to leave a comment to remind myself of this. Whenever I feel like I want to end it, I want to be reminded of how free I actually am.
I only live out of spite.
as good of a reason as any, struggle on fellow struggler
I only live to drink sprite
I only live out of sight.
FELLOW STRUGGLERS! I ACKNOWLEDGE YOU!
"they said the world would be better off without me, which is why I chose to keep living" 🗣🗣💯💯
I felt so bad before click in this video, but now you are my hero.
And I think I'm ready to keep being the hero of those who love me for a period of time longer.
It’s comforting to know that I can just do it though. It’s nice knowing that it’s always an option, going out on my terms
@@97TheWatcher but it is not your time to go man suicide is just passing the pain to other people
@@TrulyFailedReal thats why you slowly build down your relationships and make suicide seem like an accident for the ones who are still adamant about remaining in your life - that is if you havent succeeded in removing your relationships entirely
@@DharMahn_ even if you don’t talk to them anymore they still remember you and your still passing pain instead of getting help and improving yourself your only given one chance at life and you even being here is 1 in 400 trillion
@@TrulyFailedReal this is a common prescription: "think of the kids!" and it's certainly true, but deeply misplaced. in this world you are alone. to live exclusively for others is inhuman, because it neglects the self entirely. Death has been demonized as "selfish" in a way that only hurts people who are truly suicidal. It doesn't offer them relief from the pain, just assurance that they will never ever be free from it. People don't see how horribly insensitive this really is
@@DharMahn_If you do that, wouldn’t that just be creating an environment to affirm your suicidal thoughts and self-loathing?
I will never blame anyone for committing suicide, but the fact of the matter is that it WOULD hurt other people. Any choice you make can and will have consequences to you, your environment, your friends and family, etc.
Trying to limit contact with loved ones in an attempt to mitigate their suffering isn’t actually doing that, they will suffer because you push them away. Depression is rough, I get it, but the logic doesn’t make sense. Whether it looked like an “accident” or not is irrelevant, they still lost a person they cared about.
Not trying to rag on you if you feel this way, just pointing out my thoughts
It's so good to find people like myself in these comments, to know that there are others feeling the same way.
@@TrulyFailedReal I'd rather die than play that game.
@@TrulyFailedReal hooray I can bring more people into this world so they could be as unhappy as me
@@sunofabeach9424 they could be but likely not unhappiness doesn’t last forever, there are people to talk to who can help you be happier
Don't even know what to say besides thank the algorithm for this recommendation
TH-cam knows people better than their family
Big data tech knows us better than ourselves
True my family keep telling me to get on with it
I was really sad today but not that bad. Idk how they would know that all I did was search videos on therapy
Ya….. (I’m better now ish but a couple of years ago……..)
Ikr, that’s the saddest part
"I...I can't do it..."
Intrusive Thoughts: "LMAO, no balls!"
"Oh yeah, I'll show YOU no balls!"
*Leaps*
Good job making something dark seem very, very funny
Famous last words 😭
Thanks for the video, while right now I'm not planning on leaving, the void stills reminds of its presence pretty often. So I appreciate this videos of reflection in order to give some meaning to the absurdism of life.
For the few people who read this, remember one day at a time ❤
Really makes me think, I don't have to live, I GET to live.
Tate parroting
We always live, even after this "life" there is no death, just a change is all.
Life ain't a reward or a gift
It's a punishment
@@KathiOsborncan you prove that?
@@winterwulf1995 Back when I was in highschool, I got pretty close to deleting myself. But through a series of difficult events, I caught a glimpse of true beauty, it was enough for me to want to live again.
Its difficult. I've been suicidal for about a decade now. My teenage years just seemed like a constant tumble from one awful place to an even worse one. Whenever I thought things might be changing for the better, reality proved otherwise. Years of abuse left me hating myself and the world around me. I managed to get away from the terrible place I was in, and things have finally improved in my life, but those years have left their scars. Occasionally I still find myself falling into the same despair I lived in every day back then. The self hatred and self destructive thoughts come back. I think about death and suicide often. Not daily like I used to, but still 3-4 days out of the week at least. In those moments, the idea of death isn't scary, but comforting. Death is peace and quiet. Not just an escape from the world around me, but an escape from myself. But I remember I've been through worse. I tell myself that one day I will do it, once the weight of everything becomes too much to bare, but today isn't that day. Tomorrow probably wont be either. Nor the day after that. The day it becomes too much may or not ever come, but that day is not today. Until that day comes, I'll try to make the most of things. Its all i can really do.
if you didn't do it in a decade you're not gonna do it buddy
Stay positive man I believe in you ❤
@@sunofabeach9424 Delete your comment and stop being insensitive. You never know what the person on the other side of your screen is experiencing.
@@aros-kiwi no 🏳🌈🏳⚧💛💙 #BLM
Knowing somewhere out there, there's someone fighting the same fight, does give an unique comfort not felt in the mundane happenings of life
Stay strong y'all
The funny thing is how senseless it is to live, “life has no value, but nothing is more valuable than life”, the desire to live is irrational, at I least I can’t find an answer, but I for sure want to live. The call of the void is not something that I have experienced too much, the pain, the unbearable suffering is something I’ve tried to scape -in successive act of cowardice- through many different ways but death is not usually one of them. I’m ranting but, on the topic, I find it interesting to notice that even if the question “why should I live?” Does not haves an obvious answer (even though one could say “for happiness, love, pleasure…?”), the other question; “why should I not live?” does not have an easy answer either, in fact, it can be answer with the opposite of the answers of the other question; you shouldn’t live because of pain, suffering stress, sadness, etc.. but you should live because happiness, love, pleasure, bliss… isn’t it strange? There is a sort of “equilibrium”, an utilitarian trap, if you want to, in which there are just as many reasons to live as to not do it, maybe that’s a way of defining the so called “meaninglessness of living/life/existance”, there is just no possible way of knowing what’s better, there is no “value” or “moral value”, it’s just nothing, a blind choice, I don’t think there is any chance of “resisting the absurd” because the absurd is the very experience of being alive, it just makes no sense, it’s a casualty, the pain is washed with happiness and the happiness with pain, truth is that, living for certain things/feelings or dying for certain others it’s strange choice (though I don’t think I’m expressing myself properly),
what’s more valuable; pain or happiness? do they value just the same? do they have any value at all? Questions I cannot answer, I guess. And I guess, too, that it does not really matters, for now I’ll go blind, I choose to live, even if there’s no difference, because, for me, the pain is bearable as long as I can chase and fight for my dreams, as long as I can love, the way I feel it, the “good” things win or feel more valuable than the “bad” ones, honestly, I don’t want to think about it anymore, I have other problems, great video btw!
Wow, I love your perspective on this topic and I really appreciate you sharing personal thoughts with me
Life's value is its purpose, its purpose it to live, reproduce, and die, and if you can impact humanity is a positive was then that works too. The point of living is to continue to have your species live. We exist to exist.
diversity of the psyches has already begun to narrow;
Unity is well underway.
This video is one snippet of proof.
This archetype of content is only going to grow in number, as will the individuals
The soul of the masses is tired, the void calls for a halt to this ceaseless wheel that is life.
To those of us who are precursors, our obligation is to accelerate this process
Minimizing any further anguish.
I am Vayne, “rep.” Of the void;
I am you, and this is accountability calling on the grandest of scales.
As someone who still questions if it's depression or just lack of sleep combined with overthinking, I have not reached this state (yet).
And the thought that I can still reach it is scary, especially because I barely know a thing about depression.
I've wished to become a temporary spectator of someone's life, or to sleep for three months straight.
I'm doing what most 'class clowns' do, try to keep other people happy because you don't want them to feel like you.
A different video once tought me that I can be a spark in someone's life without doing anything.
Without any intended interacion, without me even knowing that I made someone feel better just because of the smile on my face.
Even if I wont ever find my true self, this right here might be my actual true self.
Thank you for making this video, algorithm did a good job.
I….really needed this video. For me it’s the thought of the future- I’ve come to realize I live for other’s that I love simply because the grief of me being gone would cause them to do the same, however whenever the day comes where I won’t have them anymore, that’s the day I fear I’ll listen to the call. Hinging on the fact of seeing your future in your dreams doesn’t help to reinforce my idea of my demise at my hands. I like living because there are a couple people in my life that I would hate to see them suffer alone through, let alone suffering *I* caused them by being selfish….but what do you do when that’s your only reason?
"Don't do suicide, that stuff kills you" - Felix Kafner
"That's why I want to do it" - Me
"True, so do I. But realistically, neither you nor I are going to do it, not because we don't have the balls to do it, but simply because we don't really want to." - Felix Kafner
@@toma-t5eOh I want to I really really want to.
I'm just waiting for the perfect time when it will impact my family the most.
Christmastime
@@winterwulf1995 brother huh
@@winterwulf1995are you living out of spite then? Ever considered the possibility of surviving your attempt? Ever tried facing your problems instead of seeking an easy way out? Ever thought what will happen afterwards? Are you getting bullied, are you homeless, are you in debt, or are you just Selfish?
This doesn't make me want to live. The void call is strong.
Think about how many extraordinary creations you will never see or hear. Even if you think no one will cry after you're gone, you're wrong.
@olkoso nothing matters now. Nothing matters after. Everything is meaningless
I don’t know if you’re still here but there is meaning, & not to sound preachy but there is something after this short time we have here. Christ loves you.
cringe
yo hey person who deals with those thoughts daily here (actually not so much now since i got help)
don’t commit suicide
i tried that and almost died
i dunno how to explain it but
death is not the answer
that’s the only thing i can really think to say
i know it’s cliche but still
when i was 23 i suffered from a severe depression, i hit rock bottom and the only thing that kept me alive was the thought of the pain i would cause my parents if i did it..well today, 3 years later, i'm glad i held on and clung to the smallest glimmer of hope. just hold on it will get better
It’s the poetry that keeps me going.
This video really help, this recomendation really scared me, and just finished seeing the video only one thing comes to my mind: I will make life worth for me, I swear
The Algorythm knows too much, to recommend me this video right now
I gave blood a few weeks ago. Still have the needle mark in my arm. It is a reminder that despite everything in the world that is going wrong, I did a small part in trying to help someone. That is meaningful to me. The reminder that small things can still have an impact, even when we don't see it.
"pulling the trigger is just like turning out a light.... in one breath, one second.... shorter than that time it would take to blink one last time, then you're gone..... just like taking the step off the ledge"
Haven't heard the term "call of the void" for a handful of years now, but I did need to see and hear this so thank you and God bless.
I know why this was recommended to me, I understood how perfectly it was recommended for me when the picture used at 1:48 is my desktop wallpaper since many years.
There are at the moment 3 things that keep me going:
1) My friends and family, who'd be sad that I'm no longer around
2) I think I can change this world for the better, even just a little bit
3) I want to find out what comes next just mirbid curiosity
It's only number 3 that keeps me going these days.
#1 for me, when my mother dies I’ll have nothing holding me back from taking the leap into the void
the fact that we even need to make up reasons to keep living bruh 💀🙏
@@iiCounted-op5jx tf u talking about?
@@schanulsiboi0837 did I stutter?
I’ve been doing shitty for 3 years straight, and I’m kinda hopeless, and for 3 years the thought has always been in the back of my head “what if you just..” and I feel nothing, but I don’t want to die, I want to be happy I want to find a reason to live for myself not just living for others. I’ve tried to fix myself and I don’t know what to do I opened up, I drew it, I wrote it, I did everything. I told my parents 3 years ago and they dismissed me and did nothing. I’m completely hopeless and I just wanna find something to help, other than small distractions I want a solution. But I don’t even know if it’s possible. I’m still a teenager, and I want to live, I wanna see the future I wanna have a bf and be loved and have my first kiss and get a dog and get a cool job. But I’m stuck in this cycle that somehow is getting worse
I want to you... No I know someday you will be happy
@@Leo-mf8lh thanks, I hope, I would say I believe you but I honestly don’t, but thank you.
@@Lydiaaaa11 go to bed tonight and imagine your at a restaurant or something and sit down and talk to to that inner voice hurting you I know it sounds really dumb but actually imagining your talking to him helps
Also there’s an amazing movie called Soul watching it is very healing
@@TrulyFailedReal okay thank you, I’ll try it, thank you
Tbf, if I read your comment correctly you are still ver young. All those questions in your head will be answered sooner or later. Same counts for the problems you have, they will be solved sooner or later. It’s not weird for a teenager to struggle with life. Every teenager endured that.
(If it’s really bad you can still choose to talk with a psychiatrist)
I really needed this, I did a big painful self harm cut on my arm that took 2-3 weeks to heal. I'm so glad the few friends I have helped me.
While I don't feel suicidal at all and overall am doing good, thanks regardless, I'm sure this has already helped loads of other people :D
when the void calls me but i remember i gotta learn japanese so i can watch the last episode of one piece without subtitles, and also so i can hit the gym… the void calls, but i force myself to listen to the light
I love videos like this where you can listen to and just think about what it's telling you, you're not being yelled at loudly in an overly annoying voice and jingling keys in front of the microphone just to keep your attention, and distract you from the reality, it doesn't drag the time on to avoid conveying the most simple idea across to the viewer and it doesn't make you have to melt into the video to fully experience it, it gives the blunt of message it is trying to convey and tells you what you need, I can listen to this and move on, I got the message and I understand it, thank you.
You know what scares me the most. Train Stations. Feeling the weight of those Train Wheels is so overwhelming my body wants to jump under the Train and my Mind says "oh hell nah". Like they always fight and my Soul in third person gets to watch the inner fight. I dont know how to describe it but thats what I define Call of the Void.
idk why I got recommended this, but im sure someone needs it.
i really needed this video right now. I have recently come the closest i have ever been to ending my own life. I feel like this video has given me a push back in the right direction, thank you
0:11 i actually start thinking that even tho i wanna stop existing after that one step yet there's possibilities of my survival afterwards with a few broken bones, so i step back and start calculating for the one with no comebacks and I guess I'll keep calculating for quite a while. Reality is messy or I'm just dum
reality is a mess, you're right about that. I'm glad you're still here, please keep being here.
Reality is messy, but dude, don't take the step. Find faith in Jesus, find purpose, keep going ❤
Yeah, that's the fifth floor. Why not look for some high cliff over rocks?
@@MrCmon113 yeah would go to a hill station, find a deep sharp decent cliff more of a secluded one to avoid attention, keeping it for the next call. That one is definitely gonna work or there's always burning yourself to death laying back in the closet but you gotta agree mountains are just the best. Anyways, I'm staying for a bit, it seems fun to work hard for nothing or just for the sake of it or its just the idea of things being fun, pretty awesome it is. Have a good time ahead.
Keep living
Do it out of pure. Unadulterated.
*S P I T E*
Every day I get just a little bit closer to picking up the phone and having a nice, long conversation with the void, if you catch my drift.
keep fighting the void man. you are not alone. ❤
thanks it aint another hyper chiristian "god loves you" bullcrap. this is actually nice video
But he does🙏🏻
but he doesn't exist. you're free to believe what you want, but most ppl are atheists. don't force your imaginary god onto others
@@lemmechilll Fine, but don't force your imaginary "there is no god" into others
@@lemmechilll most people are theists
As a christian, I agree. For some, maybe hearing "God loves you" will help, but it doesn't for others, I should know
It's nice to hear that someone who lived thousands of years before me came to the same conclusion.
This made me cry but not because of sadness. tysm for making this
much love :)
Just like 3:48 the only reason I haven't ended myself yet is because it'd deeply upset some people (not many but I do care about them) and because my wonderful pets depend on me. Once they're all gone I promise nothing about staying alive.
Same here, I live for my family not for myself. Right now it feels a bit better but far far from good. I just hope for all of us struggling that we all find something more to live for and become happy, please take care of yourself right now either way and you are a good person for not wanting to abandon your people you care about and your pets ❤
@@Pingvin-wx6sm thanks. Same to you; your kind words are appreciated.
You may live only for your loved ones at the time, but I’m sure you will find new interests, meet new people and have more to live for, it might be hard some days and you will have the feeling that your struggles will never end but in reality those feelings are never permanent. I cannot stop you but by committing you miss the opportunity to see yourself grow better. Don’t give up please
I think there’s a lot of people that carry a base sense of empathy. Clearly this is seen with the people who replied to your comment myself included. I’m not sure what makes you think like you don’t live for yourself, but I hope the idea or fact that people generally care about strangers helps with whatever you’re going through. I hope you become a person you want to live for long after your pets
ngl i only live because of my pet , some friends and thats it my family can go to hell idc
This was really helpful. There are some people in my life who I think I'm able to talk to, but I can't. This video really showed me that there in-fact is still some light in the dark. That everything will eventually be ok, that even after everything that has happened and everything that will happen, I can recover, I can get better. I've been having some negative thoughts for quite a while now and my only escape from this is games and talking to friends. I enjoy spending time with my family but sometimes I feel like I need my own time, You know? Sometimes things get tough and I find it hard to mask it from my friends and family. Just knowing that there are other people just like me out there, watching this, feeling this, I have one piece of advice for you. The mirror doesn't smile until you do my friend. You could mask your emotions like you mask a cake with icing but when you inevitably take a bite of that cake, you still get a taste of the actual cake. I'm waffling a little but it's true. Lets take your emotions as a cake, the negative emotions making the base and the masked happiness making the icing. No matter how much icing you put over your negative emotions, no matter how much you mask your sadness and dissatisfaction, it'll all come back to you in the end. Just keep thriving my friends. Anyone who reads this. Just keep going. Everything will be ok.
i'm so scared of death bc of how it lurks and one day it would just appear out of nowhere and then... we are gone. i've always feel trapped between not wanting to live and not wanting to die, and i thought choosing when we're gonna die is a better choice at least bc we are the one who made the choice. we know when and how it's gonna happen, we know what will happen. and this way of thinking terrified me so much bc i'm scared if one day i'm gonna do it. the thought of it is getting more and more possible.
Thank you, the timing on this was impeccable
The worst part is when people think you are just being weird or a freak because they don't understand why you behave the way you do. I have ADHD, BPD and major depressive disorder and I've always found it difficult to act the way society wants me to also I have persistent Anhedonia even if I'm medicated. Wanting to be gone is more like an escape path because you are a 100% convinced that there's no other way. I struggle with that daily and it's basically a compulsive permanent thought which is following me throughout my life.
Such a intriguing fucking video I love it. Also it recommended me verly specifically when I was thinking about going to the void. Thanks man ly you saved many souls
Makes me happy to help however I can, thanks a lot
I genuinely could not have been recommended this at a better time, idk how it caught me the exact day I've started genuinely considering this.
Life is pain. Death is nothingness.
I've been enveloped in dark thoughts for the better part of my life since I turned 17 years old. I'm now 34 and I still get occasional "calls from the void". What has made me going on?
I spend time in work, virtual reality and trying out new hobbies. Started going to ballroom dance classes two years ago. I have been suffering from touch starvation all my adult life. With dancing I can connect physically with other people. That's better way to boost your spirit than any therapy.
I also have started visiting indoor gunrange with my colleagues once a month. That also gets your mind off from work when you focus on gun safety and shooting properly.
thank you for making this. sometimes i really do wonder about this type of stuff sometimes, i’m glad there’s someone here to explain, and inspire me.
If anybody is out there going through somethings, just keep living please. One of my best friends entered the void. Definitely changed my outlook on life. Even though I don’t know you, I love you
I'm sorry for your loss, thank you for the kind comment
@@Absurdyssey2002Thank you 🙏🏽
Nah, you don't owe staying alive to anyone else.
I don’t see the point in living my worthless life anymore.
@@MrCmon113you owe it to yourself
The algorithm brings us together again gentlemen
Thank you soo much for this video! I love your point of view and animation style. I know that if you can understand all of us so deeply that means you need to pass through hard time to. That's why your job is very important. Keep going, bro, you make our lifes better and meaningful. I hope that you'll find your peace in this world ❤
I've threatened to do it a few different times throughout my life but not until about two weeks ago that I actually got in a place darker and more painful than anything I've ever felt in my life and I'm 52 and grew up being severely beaten by dad who was a cop and then once I became an adult it's been one thing after another with times here and there that were the greatest experiences of my life but it seems that the greater the life and my experiences got the worse it was when it was gone. But 8 years ago I met my true soulmate and she gave me my only biological son and then a daughter that's unbelievably gorgeous and smart like her mom. But there's 14 years difference in our age and because of the abuse and other crap in my life that turned me into a cold hard person with a huge ego and way too much pride and like they say pride comes before the fall. And it did it did in such a way that this one singular mistake has forever changed my life my heart and my soul. There's no words to even describe the amount of damage I caused and like the idiot I am I didn't know what I was truly losing until I lost it. I mean yeah does it sound cliche and I know because of that people won't fully understand the seriousness of this situation but let me assure you that it's one thing when your relationship breaks apart and it's just a regular love or something like that but when you destroy the love and connection you have with your true soulmate it does damage on a whole other level. So the very day her and our amazing beautiful children left I hit rock bottom and smacked through the basement and into a place that I had never even imagined existed. I knew that right then and there I was going to be able to activate do it and nothing would stop me. No fear no second thoughts no nothing would stand in the way. So I was going to get my instrument of quick departure when someone came exactly at the right time and stopped me. So I ended up allowing friends and family help me through that particular part of it but then a few days ago I realized that I don't have to do it to myself that what I did was so powerful and destructive and killed a part of me that I will never get back and because of that it's only a matter of time and not long either before I pass away from a heart attack or something like that. I feel it and it's so obvious and I know that I did something to the greatest most amazing woman I've ever known in my whole life and our children and that has a price to pay that I have to pay for. I can't live without them it sounds ridiculous I know I really know but I have been through all kinds of stuff and had really terrible things happen to me but I always felt in my heart that I was going to bounce back and recover from it better than I was before. Not this though this did something to me I can't get past. Really don't even want to. Right now this very moment or any time on out if I could trade my life for everything to be right and good again for her I don't even to think about it.. Let's get it done. I don't just want to end it I don't want to even exist in any sort of way. I can't even count how many relationships and loves and all that that I've had in life but I had no idea that this level of love existed and let me tell you with her I experienced God level of greatness of feelings and emotions and ecstacy in intimacy and because of that I know there's no one else out there who could remotely come close to her so there's no point in anything less and I don't even want anyone else. I hope none of you ever find yourself in the place I'm at now I really wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. When the end comes calling I'm going to answer that call with urgency and not fight it one bit.. It's been a long crazy wild painful happy horrible amazing life I'm tired I'm done...
I'm so sorry. May I ask what you did that was so unforgivable? Is it really a one-time thing? It seems unfair to you to disappear after everything being perfect. Was it to them though, up until that point? Are you sure you can't fix things? Take it easy, one day at a time.
@4:29 if it wasn't for my brother still needing me i'd have swolled a bunch of my meds decades ago. i live not for myself but my brothers, my father and yes even for my abusive mother..... "i can't afford not to care anymore...." i need to keep living for those who would be left behind by my actions. i can't afford to give up on life, even if i really want to. my life isn't my own anymore....
Damn man I genuinely wish you the best in life even amongst all of the chaos
So Sigma
Well at least ur brothers don’t try and choke you.
brooo you can't choose your relatives so try make some friends instead of push people away. most people in reality can only count their closed ones on 1 hand.
Hey, I wanted to thank you for making this video.
For the past five years I'm suffering almost all the time, and nothing like this video helped me to understand the feeling of "wanting to leave this world".
Thank you for doing this, I'll keep watching your videos!
Take care guys, you can do this!
PS. Sorry if I made any mistakes, I'm learning English
The cost of burial is stronger than the call of the void.
That's why I have enough money stored away to cover my funeral in case the voids wants me badly enough.
There's no need for burial if my body isn't found.
It only shows how much your life is worthless when people care about the burial costs more than they ever did for the life of the buried person.
I generally don't feel like dying voluntarily, and the world...seems contingent on me doing what I say I intend to do, but, I don't really care about anyone in a way that matters, and vice versa
I just sit around stagnating and declining while I'm stuck in a rut and life pushes me around like a rag doll
I'm not just stoic while occasionally freaked; I'm bored and effectively anhedonic and desperate for self-contentment
i desperately needed this. ever since a few years ago ive just been feeling like shit. i dont know why and i dont feel like i have anyone i can talk too, I never vent on random videos, i never talk to anyone about it, i just keep it to myself. ive put a knife to my head multiple times wondering if i should, wondering why i shouldnt, wondering and wondering. ive been pondering the meaning of my life more and more as ive grown but this video has given me more reason to not put that knife into my skull. ive never seen myself dieing from a disease or old age, just suicide. i never saw my self past 25. but now, thanks to this video i start to feel just a little more hope for my future and a little more meaning. so thank you
surviving an attempt is so utterly terrifying when you first wake up
I did after an overdose and I realized how selfish I was only thinking about myself and not considering the impact it had on my family but that was 8 years ago though so I’m fine.
@@Talonqwrthat’s… that doesn’t sound quite right. no i don’t think you’re selfish for trying to end something so painful that you felt as though that was the only way. anyone who tries to guilt trip you about that is inconsiderate. you need compassion not self blame.
Gotta be a bit awkward as well
If only people embraced the call of the void in everyday circumstances we might shape the world to being a better place. People that have nothing to lose or simply aren't afraid of death can be dangerous but in contrast it also says I won't be taken advantage of.
I watched all of this video, it’s currently 1 am and I got this on my recommended. This was a nice thing to watch before sleeping, thank you so much for making this video. I’ll remember what you said and treasure this video forever, maybe it saved me with the quotes alone.
It's easy to listen to the void once they start making a lot of sense
What makes you feel the void is making sense?
@@DuskBeforeDawn2008 There's security in the void. A safe feeling in knowing that you won't have to be anymore.
@@TheGamer-ry5ib I wish I had something good to say, but I agree. Unless you are living out of spite, or for a person or idea equally as strong (or more), the call of the void is quite enticing. Find something worth living for, if you can't find one you won't make it.
This. You get it.
@@TheGamer-ry5ibwhat makes you think it's true? We fear the death cause it's that thing we know nothing about.
This showed up when i really needed this lifes been going downhill for me and i dont havr anywhere to go
I literally just thinking of these thoughts while driving from college to home! Thank you for this
Bro, it took me like 2 minutes to realise this isn't Sisyphus55.
🤣🤣🤣
Sissypuss69? What a strange people out there.
@@krzysztofcwik3793 he is quite the oddball.
I feel like youtube can read my mind. I'm 13 dealing with depression and suicide thoughts. I dont want to commit it but my brain is obsessed with it or something...
Yesterday I told my theripist and hopefully things get better. Im scared but im trying.
My characters I drew is what is let alone keeping me alive. I vent and process things through them and stuff.
i hope you're doing better
@@beamernimbus Thanks, that means a lot :)
I really hope you get better, I’m in the same situation rn
@@HandsomeYoungSir Thank you a lot. I am praying and here for you, don't worry, we can get through this.
@@YuriAnimations-y2i no, I don’t need to vent, I just hope both of us can make it out
That's why i'm scared of height. falling down is horrifying but it's worse when something is calling me to stare down and take the leap
Just keep breathing.
No matter what, keep breathing. Even if things get bad, at least you will be alive to witness it.
Keep. Breathing.
Really gotta appreciate all those who've come before us, who've suffered and endured the pain to then help past down important wisdom from that pain.
Just so that we can come into existence and be able to experience suffering and pain. How ironic…
@@loner__000-0 Yeah. I kinda hate my ancestors for not just dying.
I really appreciate the algorithm sharing this important video. While thankfully I’ve gotten over a stage of my life were I was stuck in a depression for years due to school and having to be forced out of my own comfort in environment that was difficult because I’m an introvert and trauma of getting my space invaded by people that I thought were friends but they keep invading that space.
I know I will get sad sometimes, Depression isn’t something that will Permanently go away but reminders like this always help and gets me to see another day
as someone with depression i think about the S-word basicly every day but its kind of relieving to know i could end it if i want to.
Living for others is pointless, they'll just exploit you if you do that, humanity is predatory by nature. Just reducing the amount of suffering the ones close to you go through, and on non-human beings is pretty much the only thing worth doing. Life is pointless.
Nah your view is as naïve as overly positive optimists. Science proves humans are as altruistic and prone to mutual aid as to competition: it varies depending on external factors. I will just say this: Ted Kaczynski was right.
The way I think of it, the concept of meaning itself is unnatural. It is born out of our ability to think, plan, reason and make connections being so hightened that we experience distress when we don't see connections, when things don't make sense. Even to the point we create gods and study science. Because we want things to make sense. It is entirely human-centric. We are only ones who experience meaning, and thus, we are the only ones who give things meaning. We don't choose things because they are special, much rather, they are special because we choose them, because we decided they are special.
That`s not true, it makes sense because only through others you can really experience life and yourself.
I disagree make life worth living not a pain in the ass.
dude who hurt you
I am so happy that I found this video. I personally didn’t need it since I’ve gotten myself help, but I have a friend who definitely needed this, and I hope to console them a bit because I love them :)
The scary part of standing on a ledge of a tall building, it's not worrying that you'll fall off, it's actually the fear that you might want to jump off.
What scared me is that I really wanted to do it. The greatest beauty i've had is dying. I don't care anymore whether I live or die. I accept my death. I will take the entire Universe with me. There won't be any suffering because I'm taking you all with me.
Ayo, omnicide? Let's go.
Please do not do it until you figure out a way to make it omnicide though.
Am I late to join?
Please do it i beg you
sorry mate but as a professional nature enjoyer i'll have to disagree
Please don't