i am astonished at the amount of support and positive feedback this video has received in such a short amount of time. all I can say is: truly, thank you. keep on keeping on, everybody. we’re all in this together.
The worst thing about self sabotage is isolation : -When you realize that most people are unreliable and that you can't even take care of yourself, then you you stop seeking for help at all. -You do realize that you need help, but nobody around you can make meaningfull changes improvements in your life and you are too fucked up yourself to even be able to improve on your own. -You are objectivly powerless, but you will still keep on living by luck and dreaming about being saved by somebody else, yet you you know that you can only truly be saved by yourself. I have no good solution on self isolation, sometime the only thing you have is faith...
I remember reading someone's comment, who brought up a good point. "If the pain I feel after failing to strive for something, is as painful as the feeling of not striving for anything, then why shouldn't I try at all?"
I feel like I’m failing in life mainly because I have never put a ton of effort in practicing the things I’ve learned, so everything I learn lives like a mayfly, I understand it for a day and the next day the understanding dies, the priority of the object of study goes down as more things to learn are forced into my mental space. It feels like my head is a jenga tower and someone is always shoving new blocks into already occupied spaces shoving my old information out and discarding it instead of just expanding the tower.
I have never heard a more accurate description of this in my life, I feel the same way. I do have a couple long term goals and skills I want to get very good at, but instead of working on them it’s always a new interest of the month that I drop everything to dive in for, and ultimately don’t do anything I need to or more painfully anything I want to.
I felt the same. I remember trying to learn the piano then dropping it really quickly. I was always at the brink of "high honor" or exceptional student in class only to fail, never reaching the top. Cases where I could've been someone amazing but I just didn't put enough effort in doing so I used to always just play a few games that I like, or watch youtube, or watch some shows/movies/anime. Or way back over a decade ago before the internet brainrot took over the world I would play outdoor games or sports or hangout with close friends/relatives or something. But it never dawned on me until quarantine where we were all at home that there was nothing I was really good at. When the stress of school was taken away I no longer had to focus on being competent at my subjects, maintaining grades in math and science, etc. At that time I realized "Wow, I am not good at anything. I'm not special at anything" At some point during that time when we were stuck in our homes, I decided to finally pursue a skill I felt passionate about: digital art. Fast forward and now it's been like 3 or so years since I started learning. Then I had to stop. Entrance exams for college. I have to put away my passion in making illustrations so I could review with art gone, it struck me even harder than before. Back then I couldn't tell because I had no comparison. But with the one skill that made me feel "alive", made me feel like I had something to be proud of, gone? I felt worthless, I felt like a failure, I felt so empty. I didn't realize it back then. I would just go by everyday playing video games and wasting time to sate my boredom. Now that I've tasted a feeling of accomplishment and real passion, I feel pathetic whenever that passion is away. uh, I'm not really sure where I'm getting at here, but I think the point is, you may not know it, but you shouldn't waste your time dilly dallying. You dont wanna miss this feeling of happiness, self accomplishment, the feeling of being alive. Pursue something, anything that interests you, and dont stop. Dont give up on it. Someday, you'll finally be able to tell yourself that you're not failing in life
well fk me...this kinda describes my life...I hope we can change into someone respectable, someone other ppl can look up to even if its only in a minor thing.
To be honest, I feel this way too. As a high honour student who seemingly excelled at every subject to the day I delivered my speech on my graduation, I am afraid that I lost that touch in "learning" things and keeping it stable in my mind since university. It becomes even more difficult trying to put energy into things im passionate about, but not "good enough" to show anyone - such as my piano, or my singing voice. Heck, even though I've scored highest and have been told my writing is incredible, I lost the maintenance of my journals (and dream journals) and I'm too nervous to share it with anyone or even post it. Well, if this video has taught us anything, it should serve as a reminder that we do have the power to control from the very beginning of just merely making the decision. Each time I want to cave in and never work on any of my hobbies, or try learning again, I remind myself of that same decision that I just refuse to give up and let time pass by.
Thank bro it was eye opening for me i don't know why i become so pathetic as I'm now , it's killing me from inside but I don't wanna be the same... love your content
The funny thing is that, most of these concepts, I've already come across or have reached similar conclusions in my mind. But they were mostly lose, separated ideas without much cohesion. The way you've put it all together in such an organized and more in-depth manner, it's really priceless. Thank you for sharing this with us all, really - you've got another subscriber
I guess the biggest problem with trying to go forward is not the possibility of not succeeding, but rather the uncertainty of whether it will even lead to happiness or satisfaction in the aftermath if you do. If succeeding and failing both lead to the same discontent it's only natural to not attempt anything with your own willpower
"The comfortability of sadness" really hits home for me, where leaving yourself on the down low is normal, it would feel as if I hit a dirty jackpot whenever I was acknowledged or appreciated for anything. And I would become instantly giddy or overconfident in that moment, because I internalized the idea that I know I didn't actually deserve that praise and was similar to tricking/fooling them mentally. Everything in this video has been something I contemplated about before, but all of them together really painted the entire picture well.
Noone never asked for anything. You talk, somebody listens. And if they are not listening and ask stupid questions like "who asked", then it's nothing to take personal.
Speaking as someone who went to therapy to work through the baggage that led me to self-sabotage, that fear is definitely a big hurdle to overcome. In my case, it was largely due to having my trust broken by many people. (Family members, teachers, "friends," etc) The wounds often run deep and manifest in ways we may not realize until we're well into the work of healing. If I did have any advice for those seeing this video at the point they need it, it would be this. Let yourself feel. As weird as is sounds, a lot of what held me back was not allowing my emotions to just be emotions, constantly burying them or setting them aside as "not helpful." Just taking that moment to allow the emotions run their course, be it fear, sadness, anger, anxiety, is an important first step to working through them. May any who find this video and read these words one day find true peace within themselves. Know that you are not alone.
“Finding comfort in feeling sadness due to its familiarity with one’s-self” is how I’d describe my tendency to gravitate towards such choices of self-sabotage throughout my life. This video has helped me see a more clearer picture of said familiarity more than I ever had. Wonderful concept yapping sir! May those who are healing find solace in this video, you deserve to feel safe 🖤
You fear happiness because you do not want the pain from loosing that happiness like you did once... You fear anything positive to yry to escape the pain of drift to the negative aspect of the cocept in question. So it just feels better to remain in the negative. Simply put, Mr. A would remain on the ground to avoid the pain from contact with the ground from fallong from an earlier unsuccessful jump. I may not be fully right but I am just speaking from perspective. ✌🏿
If you are someone who suffers with self sabotage I have a question for you. Do you, when overwhelmed with problems out of your control, create more problems so your life is not recoverable? If you do, don't you notice how you make it through these problems even if it feels like all you want is to not live your own life? You are not alone in your problem, even if you have no friends no family no significant other and no hobbies, there is someone out there who understands, there is someone out there who cares, and I promise you, if you keep living, you'll find your place in this world.
No. Just no. Ill admit. I have plenty of shit. That I am not proud of in myseklf ive made many mistakes and am stubbern in ways I really ought not be. But just as much as me being a better person might help it might help if it wasnt society creating problems for me to overcome for the sake of happyness or even just no reason. Struggling and down on your luck? DOnt worry. every social program to help you will strip you of your humanity with demorlalizing demeaning questions where we frame aevery little thing thats your fault when what happened was beyond your control at that time. If you want a bank account better have a home adress you dont have. Oh your homeless on the street? How dare youy ruin good working buisness property as I see People punished for struggling to get by by people doing better who are als o scared and struggling to get by iin thier own right. Ive seen churgches displace homeless encampments ive seen that the "affordable housing" Isnt affordable. Ive seen people in cars. so many. and fellow people who also lost thier houses thier pets thier lives ive seen some get it back just for it to slip again cause guess what rend got jacked again. Im tired. and to top it off I dont know anything... I was already tired and suicidal before I lost my house. then went 13 cats. a father I didnt even really know how to feel about. And I was expected to take on work. Witch fair enpugh except im already a socially recluse time bomb with no idea what the fuck to do...w And even as I now work and work harder than I ever have im just seeing new layer after layer how we constantly fuck over eatchother... what happened to people. why do we do this to eatchother. And then... "Just dont ask why" "Best keep that to yourself" "I got my own problems" ... and the only time I ever got to feel like a human being. when I started doing pot. Emotions I never felt before old falmniliar yet undescribeable emotions. Emotions I forgot I had but Could actually put a name to. Thoughts and opinons on the world around me questions and drives Ive been told so many times I should have. feel like I can finally START to obtain and understand them... Im so tired. It feels like the world around me is already too advanced for me. ffs. I remember throwing a cartridge into a gameboy. I remember putting the vhs from blockbusters on my tv. Games while some online flash games existed I actually owned not 200+ games I semi own The right to download and play (*most of them from bundles n free game giveaways odf sorts*) till inevitably an online service dies. I didnt see the ffact that between licensing and all sorts of nonsense most games arnt even accessable legally. News used to be the place to see weather and keep up with news now im watching the most retarded election being ran by "the people" Yet somehow theres no room for my voice just 2 sets of A and B choice options on any moral or social issue ticked and as long as you pick a side all the boxes automatically get filled and no one thinks about what if.... heeaven forrbid there is compromise or a third option. Now the world is ending due to using up resources sun exploding*I dont care bout the sun exploding I get thats not my lifetime* Harder economic times than ever apparantly when it comes to buying homes Used to be able to look for cars in someones yard for a couple hundred bucksfor that money all you get is a pile of rust and bolts taht you need toed. now everyithing from clothing to electronics is cheaper and breaks at the SUGGESTION of a mild breeze planned obsolesence? or is it bad financial times? I cant tell anything anymore cause theres so much information that conflicts and is trying to show its riight by foregoing other information and so on that when Im told global warning I dont know if we could go green and fix it if the awnswer is nuclear energy that is safer apparantly and less resource intensive than solar wind hydro or if the awnswer is none of the above because either its a natural phenomina witch could make sense I mean. the planet has been a snowball a couple times over the span of a number of years beyon dmy comprehenison and understanding Or if its all just a bunch of political hog wash to get money for another program we might very well not need. I just want to be able to live. a modest living without looking over my shoulder every five seconds to make sure I havent lost it all. again. that shouyldnt be too much to ask for one person weeking 8 hrs a day of thier lives paying thier taxes ion a system that has already Let me down to acchieve that. let alone two people... And about every book and youtuber claims to be a financial expert who know show to solve your problem with thie 10 step program anmd every emotion that ails you and range from not at all useful fails to feel connected at all to Oh now I think I have ten social disorders adhd socially inadequit suicidal self destructi narcisistic sociopathic phychopath Or I just cant afford to go into debt trying to navigate how If I go to a doctor I cant afford anything to not go in debt and then with this 3rd party I give a small sum of monie and now a 500$ Bandaid is covered... Or how I have to struggle with taxes when other countries do it for you. THey have my information. They can easily get it I cant nearly as muvh so yet If I Get it wrong I owe money and wtf is the goverment paid to do? look at my information not use it and tell me to have an exact estimate to the cent or I get fined for failing the math THEY HAVE. And people wonder why the hell people give up. or shrug it off and say eh. sucks to suck... Its all tedium and nonsense beyond my comprehension. And while its my fault in ways im not the smartest or best person in the world. Why tf should everyone be doing this song and dance like dancing monkeys. just to feel a bear minimum of security. Why do bosses get to do nonsense and make people stand all day everyday Boomer: Lazy yuppy me: FOR NO REASON. Im not saying if the job requires you to stand and do stuff thats understandable but when a job forces you i one spot. all day every day your expected to buyy better soles better shoes maybe even your own standing mat so YOU can stand comfortly and what is so important you must do this all day every day deny yoyur basic humanity force fake smiles and pointless banter and put up insult from customer base with little to no room for recource? Scanning items at a store or greeting people... Why? Unproffesionalism and thats the onlhy excuse they need. I hate thismindset "oh they pay you so you should suck and tickle thier money sacks and beg harder just to get the bare minimum from society. and it doesnt matter cause theres always fresh meat to replace you and take your place if ai or a store kiosk doesnt take it.
I hate that i didnt have this video earlier. Early this year, my girlfriend broke up with me because of how i came to her for everything. I vented out all of my problems, all of my feelings, only to her. I was overly dependant on her, and i couldnt change that fast enough. Being self aware, but still not knowing how to change any of it hurts. I got a taste of happiness, understanding, and love, and i tried too hard to cling onto it. To anyone who reads this, i hope you all are able to find happiness. And when you do, remember that it's not going anywhere. Even if you want to hang on to it, because you finally have it, the act of doing so will cause that happiness to slip away. What you arent holding onto, cannot slip through your fingers. You have to trust that it will remain with you for it to truly be yours. Thanks for reading a random stranger's story on the internet. I hope none of you have to go through what i have.
This is video is honestly so well-made. It resonated a lot with how I've been feeling since 2020 constantly sabotaging my social life and mental health and it hurts more when you've been seen your entire childhood as the gifted quiet kid and all of a sudden you're failing at school or college and falling into addictions. You're almost seen by peers and family members as this person that has great intelligence and potential but is wasting it simply because of laziness or other judgments they make about you. Sometimes we don't ever see or know the only people who can understand or empathize with us but videos like this lets others know they're at least not alone.
Man I could have done better in a lot of stuff in my life dang my life ngl sucks I messed so badly I just don't wanna try anymore I don't think I will be able to fix my past mistakes
you put my thoughts into words. the anxiety of losing happiness and secuirity makes us more likely to self sabotage because with sadness we tend to expect less. thank u for this videooo
Just wanted to comment, but 5:21 Self-awareness for me is defiantly a curse, i know whats mostly wrong (for example: low self-esteem), for some things how to make it right (go to the gym to better your health, body), but just don't do it, because - i am *lazy*, its not worth it. Tho, I am not sad, i would say i am pretty happy, i love what i have, its just that the longer i live the more i understand that i have no hobbies, no passion in anything. I have tried learning how to make games - dropped it, Tried learning how to draw - dropped it, Tried learning piano - dropped it, Tried learning video editing - dropped it.. too. I don't know exactly why, but if i had to guess it may be - comparison is the killer of joy - line. Like i don't get motivated by seeing other peoples work, i mostly get discouraged and the sentence "not worth it" comes in to play, or something like that. Its very hypocritical, because to learn, i want to, have to read/watch TH-cam videos of how, but lose motivation. I am privileged that i have a pretty stable life, have hands and shit, best friend, but at the same time i envy those who can just do what they want, if that makes sense. I consider my self very young (20), but the anxiety of what i will do in life does get to me - i never was good at anything, except wasting time* with friends playing games or watching TH-cam, movies. * - i don't really think its wasting time, if you have made memories, had fun, was happy - its not a waste of time, its just the duality of it and maybe if i had found my passion hobby and pursued it, things would of been different, if that makes sense. _The more i re-read it, the more i envy what others might not go thru, like i live in easy difficulty in one aspect, but hard in another, i don't know._ _Thanks for reading my rant, either way, it helped me put my thoughts in order about this more_ PS. If its about others, like my friends ask for advice or anything of that sort, i am really trying to help them or just ask question to make them think in a different way - opposite of sabotage. Just if i could place those tips in my life. My minds wants to get up, do that and this, but my body, *my body just keep telling me no*
The one thing people NEVER talk about is what do you do when you keep failing upwards? Ironically I’ve done so many things that would ruin others and in my case they end up having minimal impact. I have never had control and yet I am still waiting to be punished by it. The worse is when you feel at your lowest and no one seems to realize so they still reward you and hold you in their esteem but when you actually make a concerted effort it doesn’t matter. How is that fair to others that do try and fail or the ones that never get to at all?
I think you've got something backwards here. Why does failure mean pain? Why does losing at something mean punishment? Go play a game with somebody. Play chess with someone better than you. When you lose, did it hurt? Was it punishing? Or did you play a game with a friend, did you get to see their smile and feel their presence in your life? You, personally, are allowed to have good things happen for no reason. Just like you can stub your toe on a table you've had for years, someone can compliment you on a shirt they've seen you in before. Good things happen just as often as bad things do, and often for no reason at all. As for fairness, why do I deserve your lot in life? I'm not you, I will never be you, why should I experience the same things as you? Fair only applies if everyone takes the same action the same way. And yes, we can do things to help those who have been ruined by choice or by chance, but ultimately, fair doesn't exist because they are themselves, and you are yourself. Maybe that's harsh, but it's real. Don't turn your good fortune into bad fortune just because you're worried some Fairness Police is gonna kick down your door and make you lose what you have. Make the most of it while it's here, you never know when it will stop.
I feel like you and me maybe have had similar experiences that make it hard to just feel like you deserve things cause it might get snatched away, and the pain may be too much to bear for us to handle..i still struggle of course i can't act like i am not struggling still currently but atleast know that your not alone here i always feel guilt and a lot of shame and its feels like it eats me up a lot..to the point i break people say i am a good kid but i can't believe them and i feel like i just want them to get mad like i am supposed to deserve this punishment because i am not worth this kindness these people give me..its Okay, to be selfish is what someone told me before. It's okay to be selfish just once in a while. Let yourself be selfish...
I've never been a person who could easily put to words how i feel. Its frustrating sometimes to have such strong emotions and no way to say it to someone or not being able to explain it. it feels lonely and like no one could understand. But what you have done here with this video is nothing short of a shot through the heart. Everything I've felt but could never express is right here, packaged in a 9 minute video. Thank you for making this, its so reflective of what I'm sure a lot of people feel and could never express, or let alone even maybe understand. Thank you.
Happiness makes me uncomfortable because i know it's not gonna last, that after a high i can, eventually, only go down Plus i don't even remember most of the trauma that made me like this, but it's full effects remain, i'd love to have internalized something better to this extent
Funny I get this recommendation RIGHT AFTER I stopped this process of self-sabotage completely. And I love it, because it reaffirmed to me, what I have been slowly getting at over the past year...yes, greatness is near me, and I have finally been able to love myself for who I am, and let me tell you, that's the best thing ever.
This is something I’ve been asking myself for many years… why am I okay with self-sabotage? I’m not someone who is good at expressing thoughts and emotions with words, but you explained how I feel and act with such emotions perfectly. I was okay with failing and never trying again, knowing that I just never tried. I always blamed myself for not getting it right the first time and for being lazy, always taking the easy route, not putting in the work that others do to be where they are today. I have to put in the time and effort if I want to be successful. No shortcuts, no excuses. I just have to continue looking forward to experiencing life and being the best me every day. Thank you for the 8 minutes of 'yapping.' From today, I’ll start taking small steps in my life daily to be able to say one day, “I am happy with who I am as a person." I wish everyone here to be successful and happy. Once again, thank you very much ❤. You earned a sub. I hope to see more future content from you and inspire more people to be the best version of themselves 😊.
I self-sabotage because I have a "need" that is unachievable... and it's the only reason why I keep living. Well no, responsibility will be the one. You see... I can perceive other people's emotions. When I was little, even though I was already good at it, there were a lot of things that I couldn't understand, so I try to decipher humans. I did it. I had become so aware of myself and others that I can perceive their feelings just but looking at them. However, I still suck at perceiving when someone has an interest in me, but all the rest I see it. I'm tired of the pain of everyone. I'm tired of seeing it, feeling it... hearing it. I just want to make the world a little less painful; but not with laughs and happiness, but with awareness and responsibility. There are so many ways to avoid feelings or coping with them... that I just want to create a safe space to face them. And that place it's so hard to reach... the more I walk to it, the more I feel powerless. I just want to help... but in the end no one can really help anyone, it is always oneself who can really do it. I feel doomed to see them do the same mistakes over and over, and see them suffer, over and over. No matter what I do, it will never be enough. No matter how much I love them, it is not mine the one they need. I already got what I wanted from life... Now I'm doomed to live it, and I loath it.
Getting used to sitting in the saddness and letting it take over has led me to further isolation that i was always scared of. One day at a time i started to let the sun hit my face more and more and I was able to enjoy my accomplishments, i was able to enjoy the people around me more. Im still learning how to be more social and make friends. But one day at a time
this feels like a breaking point i have yet to achieve in life. for years I have gotten myself constantly stuck in my own fantasies, yet only recently do I see the stark contrast of my intangible dreams apart from this daunting reality. I also had created plenty of metaphors that best represents all the situations I am in, yet they're all for waste as it was never a purpose of change. no matter how much I've screamed through the piano keys (I do study music and piano), no matter how long my diaries are, trying my best to make sense of my "unthinkable" ideations; this video pretty much sums up my thought process. Thank you.
As someone with chronic abandonment problems I am always self sabotaging when it comes to relationships with others. It's easier to be alone than to fail someone else's expectations, or even worse, when they fail mine. I'm fully aware it's a problem of mine and knowing that I just need to push past that vulnerability and let people in seems like an easy solution on the surface but the very instant something goes poorly in a relationship I find myself spiraling out and pushing people away or just completely shutting off like I always do. I really want to keep trying and I'm really sick of being so lonely all the time but it's just such a scary thought after all the trauma past relationships (friendships, familial, and romantic relationships all) have put me through. Suffering in solitude isn't a way to live but it's the way I've found myself living for almost 7 years now. I can't even say I have one person in my life I'm truly myself around anymore
I been self sabotaging a lot recently when it comes to my relationship with my older sis in law, I'm so sad because we were really close at one time & she always used to have my back, but now I feel like I'm too far gone & I've gone too far down the hole now :(
Thanks. I’ll do the challenge applying for my first job tomorrow even if I don’t feel comfortable for it. Better to stop delaying the inevitable, yeah?
I've done this many times, but this time has been inspired by factors I had minimal control over to begin with. I'm the only person working in my household, and I've tried to swallow my pride, even having gone back to a job I hated, and quit same day as my notice. But I got sick this past week, and it's cost me 80% of my attendance points I'm allowed in a year. Today, my mentals snapped at work, and I ate that final point. My coworker (at my labor intensive job) is gone this week on medical leave, and the expectations on my shoulders have effectively tripled in his absence. I don't want this job anymore, but my savings are few, and my bills are many. I'm tired, and just as you talked about, I'm so much more afraid of change that I'm far more likely to quit, (or get fired) and try back at this job again than even apply to anywhere else. I'm as scared of success as I am of failure, because what if I'm just trading the hell I'm familiar with for one I can't quite handle?
I can't believe a stranger online can voice how I feel my whole life when I can't understand why I'm like this. Even when I'm in this body of mine for this long. Thank you for making this video!
Last year, i lost control of everything, its because of i got Tuberculosis. Everything that i have and plan out already broke, i lost my Scholarship, i lost my chance to study aboard country, i got loan dept for hospital bills, and even my gf left me. I already made a piece to myself for those things, because its not my fault for things that happened. I still move foward, i go to gym, do my college. But its feel like im dont have a clear destination, its never feel enough. I feel afraid to being left out and afraid to do anything instead. Maybe because i dont have control of my life like before, idk. I really hate this feelings
it’s unfortunate to hear that man. I’m just a stranger on the internet with his own daily personal struggles, although I feel like it’s okay to not have a clear destination of life, as it is part of the natural process. That’s a part of what being human is. Life can be pretty shitty at times, although in spite of it, you just have to keep on keeping on man. We’re all in this together
@@jaekoi Thank you for your kind words and the video too. It has given me some assured that I didn't do anything wrong rn, I think I will keep walking until I know what I really wants
I was beating myself up, so much so that I felt being a disappointment, got angry at those who i helped but that are successful. Disappointed at myself for feeling the way I am, scared with all the expectation not having met. The video really opened up my mind about it, I did self-sabotage myself, always picking the easy way out of all things, not putting the work which the people I helped did. I need to put on that specific effort, that's all there is to it, I know time may not be on my side, and all I can do is go forward, I just need to live with that but also learn why it happened. I realize it just now having listened to this video. This 8 minutes of yapping really helped me. Thank you.
The real losers are those who fear failing so much that they don't harbor willingness to try anymore. This is a statement that everyone who falls into despair should know.
Everything I do right makes me feel disappointed in myself for not doing it in the first place. It gives me the feeling of pain in my chest to even think about the possibility that could have happened. I'm a person with many regrets. This seems to make sense of what I'm going through. Thanks for creating this video.
After failing so many times, I've become so scared of the pain and the consequences that failure brings that I just started to give up on things before I even tried. Thanks for making me realize how pathetic I've become and Thanks for the vid you gain another sub ❤
I really needed this video btw. I remember not too long ago, i made a comment on a motivational speakers channel, and i commented that my dream was to become popular on youtube, but when i asked "how does that sound?" He replied back with only one word "STUPID" I just replied "well, no sub for you" you know, to act like i don't care, when deep down, it actually kinda hurt me. A motivational speaker saying my dream was stupid was the last thing i expected to happen. But im glad youtube recommended me your channel. Really gives me hope for the future, im not just saying that either
@@switchy_kova393 his channel name was just called Tom. And I think he blocked me from commenting further, cause I never got another response from him, you know, to ask him to elaborate, even though he replies to almost all of his commenters. I don't think I'd be able to report his channel though. Ps, sorry for my late reply.
Maybe it's the algorithm, maybe it's because it's what I've been thinking lately, and this video is absolutely purely coincidental, but I feel like this speaks to my soul. I've always felt like Hamlet, no matter how good the plan may be, I feel like I always fail to act to complete the plan as expected because I expect so little from myself. It's easy to forget everything you have overcome in your life up until this point, but videos like this remind me that the only person that has stayed a constant is myself. Not in a disheartening way, but that the biggest supporter should be for myself, since they will be there for the rest of my life no matter where I may end up in the end. For those who are also struggling with this topic of self implosion, I've recently started writing down in a journal a few thoughts that I feel and then counteracting them with positive thoughts about myself as well. So you aren't just casting away negative thoughts, but instead replacing them with positive ones that make sense. i.e "I feel worthless, but the people around me don't see me that way, so maybe there is something I'm doing right.” or “I'm ugly, but pretty people tend to talk to me even though I don't feel as good-looking." It's a long working fight that you will have to face against yourself, but we will get there. Hang in there, everyone!
You worded everything I learned and went through during my journey of chronic depression and eventually dysthymia, so beautifully. Thank you for sharing your piece of mind
the thing that’s helped me to sort of ignore my self loathing and self sabotaging tendencies to try and improve my life was thinking of how my rabbit perceives me. in my own eyes i am nothing and no one, but to my sweet little bun, i am her entire world. she needs me and she loves me without a care for all my shortcomings, i will always be her pet parent who can make treats appear out of nowhere and bring her food and keep her comfortable in the changing seasons. i am her everything when no one else sees my worth, and it means everything. it means everything.
Immediate subscribe. I really needed this philosphical insight. I can relate to most if not all of what you have said in the video. In my tween years I managed to get a high score in the college board exams. But I decided to drop out of college. I know it was a terrible mistake, but I wish to pick up and at least get a job someday. My family has been patient with me and have tried to be understanding. I know I owe them for mamy thingd that they have fldone for me. I dont want to end up failure to them, but the path ahead won't be an easy one. I just have to start with mustering courage and slowly go up from there. Again I deeply thank you for this video, I clicked it out of curiosity, but boy did I resonate with the video. I wish you all a very nice day.
This was beautiful thank you so much for sharing this video and also I definitely want to ask myself these questions and go from there but in life we have choices so we just have to decide which one is best for us. But also keeping a journal helps a lot with our mental capacity, and who ever is watching this video I hope you heal from what is making you self sabotage.
All true and painful to hear. I keep myself safe by living in sadness, I'm still too scared to live happily now, even after my circumstances have changed. Thank you for this chat.
This is absolutely needed advice for so many people in the modern world, especially me. I've felt what this video describes so well when i wasn't able to describe it. Stop stopping yourself. Break the self-aware paradox. Believe in the version of you that believes in you.
This is such a great realisation after years of selfloathe. Another such thing I came across was "Inside bydefault you're a confident person, you just need to unlearn the insecurities and as you untie those knots of insecurities like pebbles you'll find sea of happiness. You're born a sea.
Y'know, as someone who has a hard time usually even pinning emotions. This spoke to me. I have become prone to self-sabotage a lot more in recent years... And hearing some the statements I know for a fact I have said and resonated with. and hell, correspondence is my mode. it's what even helps me find where my headspace is. including this a, as matter of fact, I was just unemployed for 2 months following being fired for actions of my own doing. Not after experiencing many different situation within work that left me feeling like a fish out of water and green as grass. It made me feel small. and sure enough, that self sabotage left me in dire straits leading to a spiraling mental. Thank you for putting my thoughts into video form for me to see as a reflection of sorts.
this is one of the most well made videos i have seen on youtube, and ive seen a lot. The atmosphere you created in this video was amazing, thank you for this masterpiece, both as a video and as a message
Cohesive, structured and direct essays about self sabotage with an artistic usage of anime scenes with their own message packed in that supports the point you trying to make Props to you, and thanks this was eye opening for me
Honestly thank you for this, I saw this at a very important time in my life, and it has helped me through more than i could put into words. I look forward to seeing whatever you make next!
2021-2023 have been the hardest years of my life on an emotional level and i could never really put it into words the way i felt. So this vid really hits close to home, thank you.
For me, it's more towards, i used to be good at (especially school) stuff without trying and then tried/learned new stuff and even with efford it didnt give me the "praise" i used to get. So slowly i put less effort into everything and the expectations went down alongside it. Now im at a point where as long as i dont try something i dont get any negative respondance so its predictable and "good"
Damn, I really felt lost and unable to change myself for a long time. This video really hit home and opened my eyes. Being 26 lost and hopeless and not to do shit about almost drove me insane and made me think more and more about ceasing to exist. This video really inspired me to change and try to get out of this hole I was stuck in for so long. God Bless Bro and all the best!
I just want to say thank you for this kind work of you. Thanks for making someone feel much better. I myself at some point in my childhood experienced some kind of isolation from my friend. I somehow got considered as the "rightous, standard, pure" kid, and that title put up an invisible barrier between me and my friends. I grew up unknowingly keeping that facade as my outside identity and seeing my friends slowly drift away from me. Now I am struggling to find who I am. What belongs to the self-made facade and what belongs to the true me? This inner battle has caused me to experient periodic cycles of stress and self-destrutive behaviours, which in itself is another vicious cycle. But through time and confronting with my fear, sometimes just grin my teeth to continue my day or may I say life , I partly learned to be independent on my emotions and treat my sense of loneliness, thought the cycle keeps repeating. It is great to find a stranger on the Internet that share the same problem and hope with me. I believe that someday with perseverance, you will become one with yourself. Just want to thank you again
Damn...a video that pretty much sums up what I've been going through my whole life? And was explained really well? I guess I ain't the only one. The self awareness has been with me for as far as I can remember. It fuckin sucks. Good ass video dud. Keep it up.
This video came into my house and punched me in the face. "Positive emotions make me restless, because I feel like I am unworthy of them." Ouch?! Great video man, especially given how short it is!
"The real loser are those who's afraid to feel so much that they don't harbor the willingness to try." That feel more like a strike in the gut than a sensible words spoken. As if it was out of concern and not out of responsibility. Hate and love this video.
Thank you for this video. I almost didn't click on it. I was too comfortable admitting I'm /comfortable/ in my sadness, wallowing in my own head and trapped by my countless trauma and burdens. i DO self sabotage. I need to fix that. Starting right now. Thank you so much. You've got another sub. I look forward to your next video. I rarely comment on videos, but I felt compelled to.
All of this hits deeply personal for me. I’m 34 with late diagnosed ADHD, and I feel like after so much work in trying to understand how my brain works and become more self-aware of my issues, I still have problems attempting new things or trying to better myself because it feels like I’m just going to fail, or get distracted and never follow through. Because in my brain, that’s what always happens, so why try? It’s a mental hole that I’m still struggling to get myself out of. I appreciate this video a lot, and you’ve definitely gotten a sub from me brother. 🤘🏻
Cant believe this made me cry, I went insane in the past for a few years and it completely changed me I was not able to find happiness for years, even just depression was comfortable compared to my worst times. I remember trying over and over for years to get better but failing always and the situation was only getting worse. Thankfully I somehow didn't kill myself. Thanks for this vid, it helped me realize how it effects me to this day.
After I realised how insignificant we are, how all out troubles, all our misfortunes and needless stress in our life's, it all meant nothing and it only quantifies when I saw how big the universe is and how small this planet is. I felt empty and lost in such an infinite space so many of us live in.
Though I am in a better state now The vision of what I live for still remains as a blurry image I feel at peace with the universe around me Accepting any fate that comes my way And honored for any gifts in this life that is presented to me... even the very smallest things
Strangely, today is giving me all these kind of videos, and I feel drawn to watch them. Like life is leading me somewhere, I needed it all. A reflection of myself, thank you, and here’s a sub. I’ll be writing then, although, I’m grateful for this explanation and the video. Alongside the person you are. So, here’s just a simple message, thanks.
Thankyou for this. Everything I've been feeling about myself and understood about myself has been conveyed with much clarity in your video. I had been having trouble putting it to words. This was more than a yapping session... felt more like a detangling-my-awareness session.
You managed to put into words what I've been feeling all this time. I always told people I felt happy when I am sad, but I didnt know why. Like what others have said, you've given me hope that one day I'll be able to break free and be comfortable with other emotions
Algorithm did wonders to bring me to your video, it simplifies those many stray thoughts I had in my head 😊 "Ignorance is a blessing", I often see people just go along and be happy with whatever hardship they have since they don't know much about the seriousness of that problem. I often want to reset my knowledge and self-awareness, back to my ignorance days... I study psychology in college after dabbling with programming in high school and all those eye opening theories broke me inside. All my past mistakes and problems rushed back to me, tormenting me day to day. Had a bad social anxiety at one point (was even scared of phone ringing) and pretty much a half hikikomori (got much better but I withdrew back to my room again). It's still hard for me to look forward to the future and go outside more, but I'm slowly taking my steps... Thank you for the video
Hello, and thank you for this video. As you said it was a yapping sesh of your thoughts of the topic based on personal experience but watching has allowed me understand a new perspective of this that I've been struggling to personally rationalize/understand. So once again thank you
This video, like many people, has already stated is a big eye opener for them. Seeing how summer is coming to a close and where I live fall is around the corner. It's hitting me hard knowing life is passing by so fast, and here I am not trying to take risks and try and find balance by being self distructive. But seeing this video makes me want to improve and grow as a person and get out there and try new things. So thanks for making a banger video bro and I think for some people who clicked on this video and watched it can officially say that this may help them push towards trying to make a better future for themselves.❤
i think that this is a very well thought out video, I never really thought of myself to be self-sabotaging but turns out I am. There comes a blurry mess between my perfectionism and me being realistic which can delve into cynicism. I am comfortable in my sadness, very comfortable. Misery loves company and there's nothing that calms me more than crying to myself. I introspect a lot, maybe too much and that might just end up being my downfall.
I completely understood everything you said. And in some ways I have moved past some mental barriers or at least became self aware enough to know they're there. I think the biggest thing holding me back is FULLY moving on and letting go and embracing more positive thoughts, even though I already have a way more healthy mindset now than I did a few years back, because what if I'm put in a situation one day where I have to comfort someone else experiencing similar thoughts and emotions that I am right now? Will I still be able to level with them or will have I completely forgotten what it's like by then and appear like a total stranger? Will I still even be me? It's like you said, it's like letting go of a childhood friend, or letting go of a part of yourself to put it more accurately. A part of yourself you've grown so comfortable with as your mind was still developing for years. But maybe just maybe I'm confusing my mind's development with the sad part that's supposed to make me, me. And maybe I can fully move on without forgetting, but not holding onto my sadness, depression and anxiety like a lifeline either and move forward.
thanks mate. I'm currenlty dealing with really overwhelming anxiety, and wantever I like, at the second someone says something negative about it, seem wrong, because I can't control it. I obviously don't wanna change people opinions, but because they don't have mine, it instantly feels like I'm wrong. And even if I know that's stupid, those intrusive negative throughs just make life horrible. And that's just a part of all of my stupid brain. Like, I dealed with derealisation, depression, really violent panic crisises... And because I did everything to avoid it, put it far away from me because it stole years of my life, it just come back even easier. I was educated in the idea that have the control is all I need. I mean, I still like making my own choices, determination etc, but sometimes breathing deeply and let go to just live, is something I which I could do (not on command, it would be a paradox). That's strange, not doing anything by being in incapacity to really just breath and do nothing. It's just... My brain always try to take my whole positive energy in a overthinking hole and then to push me in. All those "what if this isn't reality?" (sorry this one I can't think about it more than 30s without feeling so bad that I feel like I'm dead, so I won't talk about it, but I guess you got the subject), "what if I was wrong about the fact that's it's nice to be vegetarian? Plants are also living! But wait... I need to eat. But okay I know, by eating an animal, Im sure I'll hurt someone, and for plants we don't think they feel hurted, and at the end eating an animal is eating many plants cause the animal needed to eat before. And there's a big difference about the treatment to. Animals are living torture so... That's better to eat plants. But what if we didn't know... Okay we'll know this later, studies aren't published for now, and in fact that makes sence about the fact that but eating animal some plants will also die, and but eating plants it's just eating in a way more natural and healthy way cause for animals it's just treating them as objects and for plants, it's really just to live. Animals don't have any reasons to be killed by millions." What if my life doesn't have a sence? I would die, but if I'm too scared to die, I won't do anything, so it's like dying now, do what I'm doing for others is useful? Does this make sence to dedicate my life as, for exemple, scientific journalism, ecology, people care, but why do I have fun on video games where sometimes the violence make it fun? Is it competition? Does the job I'm gonna have by creating video games in a goal of informing people about important subjects really make sence?" And then, I'm just wondering why Im not happy... But in fact, about what you said aboud sadness (and Im so happy my brain relaxed and didn't give me anxiety for something I just wanted to listen without any judgment, like, Im happy I've been able to have my full brain oppened and having active listening), I just think Im happy to be sad sometimes, not in a sense it's a confort to avoid doing anything, just in a sense that, man, it's good to live the feeling, accept that we're suffering, and just let go by crying. Like an """useful""" sadness (not in a sense that every single thing we live have to be useful, in particulary in a strict way, just that it isn't a sadness that drowns you. It's a sadness of acceptance, of want to chance something, of pain that you make the choice to go through. Okay I talked to much again, thanks for your video, I'll stop resist, put the control off for a moment, even if Im scared to be unable to walk a second time, even if Im scared the 3 years of work I've almost lost because of a stupid phone that stoped working, could definitely diseaper. As this comment I copied 5 times, Im scared of loosing the very last copy that could last of my 3 years of work. Im into the Schrödinger's cat situation for a year, but I guess, I have to try to get back my save, because as long as I continue fleeing, I would never know if I still have that work or not, and until I try, I won't have it, whever the cat is dead, or not. So, mate, I'll take the risk. (I don't know when cause I'm busy and kinda slow doing this type of thing but I'll try haha)
This video hits twice as hard if you've watched the animes you use the most in the video, and relate to its main characters. Great video man, thanks for this
I have been through some things in the past few years, after difficult decisions to improve my life. When things were very bad, I made a note to myself on scrap paper, I now have it taped up where I can see it every day. It says, "It does not matter if you F it up. It matters that you keep trying."
i fear taking the blue pill one day and simply cant even imagine it, people who are actually confident and have some self-esteem i just dont understand, its scary
This is something thats been on my mind alot that feels as i put off with simple distractions like socializing with friends and playing video games. For me its gotten to a point were i don't know where to make steps for physical progress over mental and emotional progress. Currently biting my time waiting for the first day of my tradeschool to begin as I blew off getting my license since i fooled myself into not needing it, havent had a job since quiting my last one since my family and i were moving further.
I have been meaning to make a video like this my whole life, and you managed to capture all of my thoughts into one beautiful video. Thank you kind stranger, you have given me inspiration and warmth.
I notice I tend to do this a lot in my life due to past traumas of being betrayed by those close to me. Said people would also abuse me into thinking that I never deserved anything either. I've noticed any time I try to put care into myself, I slip back into not wanting to care. Or when it comes to keeping friends, my paranoia gets the better of me and I distance myself before I get hurt. The odd irony is that in a lot of cases where I distance myself from people, I'm proven right that some people aren't as good as I thought to begin with. That bothersome feeling is worsened because some people I have distanced myself from and cut out were people I knew for a long time but my eyes never "opened up" to the fact they were bad from the get go. Damn this is pretty eye opening for me. I honestly am thankful this came up in my feed. I realize now what that whole cycle of whatever this was really is. Self-sabotage. This year marks 5 years since leaving my abusive transphobic ex, who was the root cause of many issues of this pattern. Slowly I have been trying to get better though. I know it's a mix of past trauma, lack of self care that has lead to sickness and deficiencies that have affected my mental and physical state. I am aware that also due to my neurological conditions, that does not help by denying my body nutrients as it also affects the brain. I am truly going to try harder. I want to improve so that I can try to get top surgery this year or the next as it will improve my quality of life.
I've internalized that me trying is worthless, I screw up everything anyway. So willingness is long dead. I only know what I don’t want. That’s it 🤷♂️
I've been doing this for years now, one attempt at ending my misery later, and I feel better. I've taken a lot for granted, and yet. I still do it, I still feel uncomfortable with the presence of happiness. I'm not used to it, it hurts. I wish I could stop making things worse for myself. I wish I could stop pushing people away by holding them too close. Maybe, when I'm a bit older, I can finally be happy, but, actually.
Weird that I have two sides saying that I probably should count myself as someone in this vid but at the same time I don't Anytime I think that I'm self deprecating or stressed I forget that I'm actually a blessed person with good and caring parents that provide for my needs. When I remember this I realize that I cant comprehend the severity of others in a much worse situation. I like to conclude that I really am a normal person that's not depressed or mentally unstable. "That would be an insult to someone who's actually depressed, like imagine what they're going through" is what I always thought I still cant help the subconscious feeling that I'm a failure to my parents, that I can't live up to what they've given to me, and that time and time again I failed their hopes and trust. I feel someday in the future all the consequences of my actions will lead to regrets. But right now I have to keep telling myself "It'll all work out. We'll figure something out. It's not the end even if I fail. That's right I'm mentally fit, because I have a supportive and complete family, so I can get through this"
6:23 I wanted to say that I have experienced this not too long ago. I suffer from Severe Anxiety, Severe OCD and Depression and I’m so used to feeling sad and empty that nothing can make me feel happy like an exciting event In my life and I’m so used to not socializing and I in fact still hate it but I went to a Church event for my whole religion back in June and I did not want to go and I thought I was gonna hate it and I decided to try to talk to people and make friends even though I was super scared and not feeling it but that whole week I felt a sense of happiness? Like I was feeling weird inside but in a good/bad way. It was new or something I have not felt in so long that I have forgotten. I can’t remember what that feeling was like but it was new and I remember calling my dad about my day and telling him this and he told me that it was coming out of your shell and opening up more. Exactly what you said in this video, “it’s dangerously comfortable”. It is. It’s weird I know.
Honestly, thank you for making this video. I have been telling myself for years that I have to start getting my life back together but failed every time cause like you said I felt like I didn't deserve it, but I hate the life I'm living right now, and I know that I have to get out of my comfort zone (if you can call it that) so I can at least start living again. Again, Thank You for making this, I really needed this!! Really love videos like this, can't wait to see more videos from you!
As soon as I was born, I opened myself up to the always possible and eventual inevitability of death, failure, and grief. So why not seize the day when it is given? Life is not distributed equally; one may only have one thousand, one hundred, or only ten days on earth. So regardless of how many you will have, understand that some of those days will be hard, but it is up to us, it is our duty, to use every day we are given and enjoy it. It's not for us to choose, to opt out of the game, or to take away someone else's right to life. This is the human experience: to live and love and fuck around and find out. You are one of one. Try new things, learn, be with others, and by doing this, you will inspire others with your unique perspective. There is always more to do, always something out there to fix, always someone to help, and that's the point. We each do a little during our miniscule time and then it's over, so have fun with it while it lasts.
Thank you for this video it resonated with me a lot, I’ve been self sabotaging/being complacent for a year and a half, I’ve been hating myself over it and I want to start doing something for my future, I feel worried all the time and my heart feels heavy, this put a bit of pressure off me and made me think more positively, I’ll come to this video every time I feel down or start getting complacent again.
I have adhd and right now as of today i tried something new i tried going out with people I never would have gone with, i tried trying to talk to people i never would have talked with. And its well yeahh im still subconcious rejecting all of it im scared of it. Im scared of it im really scared of it i instantly want to sabotage myself but i know this is better this will be better I will make it better. Pray for me 🙏
i am astonished at the amount of support and positive feedback this video has received in such a short amount of time. all I can say is: truly, thank you. keep on keeping on, everybody. we’re all in this together.
No, thanks to you for taking the time to share with us this video. ❤️🩹
The algorithm has spoken, you have been chosen.
Are you kidding? This is a very high-quality video and deserves way more support! Thanks for making this.
The worst thing about self sabotage is isolation :
-When you realize that most people are unreliable and that you can't even take care of yourself, then you you stop seeking for help at all.
-You do realize that you need help, but nobody around you can make meaningfull changes improvements in your life and you are too fucked up yourself to even be able to improve on your own.
-You are objectivly powerless, but you will still keep on living by luck and dreaming about being saved by somebody else, yet you you know that you can only truly be saved by yourself.
I have no good solution on self isolation, sometime the only thing you have is faith...
thank you for making my struggle feel real and that i'm not alone
I remember reading someone's comment, who brought up a good point.
"If the pain I feel after failing to strive for something, is as painful as the feeling of not striving for anything, then why shouldn't I try at all?"
this motivates me. Thanks
When it comes to losing im the strongest.
Throughout Heaven and Earth, I Alone Am The Honored One At Losing
You have competition here buddy.
I'm outmatched in this aspect. It should be studied
Nuh uh, your not even top 10
@@mikio03222 nuh uh
I feel like I’m failing in life mainly because I have never put a ton of effort in practicing the things I’ve learned, so everything I learn lives like a mayfly, I understand it for a day and the next day the understanding dies, the priority of the object of study goes down as more things to learn are forced into my mental space. It feels like my head is a jenga tower and someone is always shoving new blocks into already occupied spaces shoving my old information out and discarding it instead of just expanding the tower.
I have never heard a more accurate description of this in my life, I feel the same way. I do have a couple long term goals and skills I want to get very good at, but instead of working on them it’s always a new interest of the month that I drop everything to dive in for, and ultimately don’t do anything I need to or more painfully anything I want to.
I felt the same. I remember trying to learn the piano then dropping it really quickly. I was always at the brink of "high honor" or exceptional student in class only to fail, never reaching the top. Cases where I could've been someone amazing but I just didn't put enough effort in doing so
I used to always just play a few games that I like, or watch youtube, or watch some shows/movies/anime. Or way back over a decade ago before the internet brainrot took over the world I would play outdoor games or sports or hangout with close friends/relatives or something. But it never dawned on me until quarantine where we were all at home that there was nothing I was really good at. When the stress of school was taken away I no longer had to focus on being competent at my subjects, maintaining grades in math and science, etc.
At that time I realized "Wow, I am not good at anything. I'm not special at anything"
At some point during that time when we were stuck in our homes, I decided to finally pursue a skill I felt passionate about: digital art. Fast forward and now it's been like 3 or so years since I started learning.
Then I had to stop. Entrance exams for college. I have to put away my passion in making illustrations so I could review
with art gone, it struck me even harder than before. Back then I couldn't tell because I had no comparison. But with the one skill that made me feel "alive", made me feel like I had something to be proud of, gone? I felt worthless, I felt like a failure, I felt so empty.
I didn't realize it back then. I would just go by everyday playing video games and wasting time to sate my boredom. Now that I've tasted a feeling of accomplishment and real passion, I feel pathetic whenever that passion is away.
uh, I'm not really sure where I'm getting at here, but I think the point is, you may not know it, but you shouldn't waste your time dilly dallying. You dont wanna miss this feeling of happiness, self accomplishment, the feeling of being alive. Pursue something, anything that interests you, and dont stop. Dont give up on it. Someday, you'll finally be able to tell yourself that you're not failing in life
well fk me...this kinda describes my life...I hope we can change into someone respectable, someone other ppl can look up to even if its only in a minor thing.
To be honest, I feel this way too. As a high honour student who seemingly excelled at every subject to the day I delivered my speech on my graduation, I am afraid that I lost that touch in "learning" things and keeping it stable in my mind since university. It becomes even more difficult trying to put energy into things im passionate about, but not "good enough" to show anyone - such as my piano, or my singing voice. Heck, even though I've scored highest and have been told my writing is incredible, I lost the maintenance of my journals (and dream journals) and I'm too nervous to share it with anyone or even post it.
Well, if this video has taught us anything, it should serve as a reminder that we do have the power to control from the very beginning of just merely making the decision. Each time I want to cave in and never work on any of my hobbies, or try learning again, I remind myself of that same decision that I just refuse to give up and let time pass by.
Precisely.
The sharpest knife in the drawer isn't the one people stab into your back, but the one that you've put into your heart.
Thank bro it was eye opening for me i don't know why i become so pathetic as I'm now , it's killing me from inside but I don't wanna be the same... love your content
Nah man dw, you aint pathetic, almost all of us people have fallen into this trap, even myself, u good and you can make it, much love ❤
@@jakubpesko8071 thanks man i'll appreciate it ❤
glad to help man, and you’re definitely not alone in feeling that way.
Us👾
Your mind is looking for a simple way out, it's overstimulation that causes you to want to say goodbye to a world
The funny thing is that, most of these concepts, I've already come across or have reached similar conclusions in my mind. But they were mostly lose, separated ideas without much cohesion. The way you've put it all together in such an organized and more in-depth manner, it's really priceless.
Thank you for sharing this with us all, really - you've got another subscriber
thank you
How can you self sabotage if no person knows the correct way to live?
We are not capable of self sabotage. You are simply living in one of many ways.
I guess the biggest problem with trying to go forward is not the possibility of not succeeding, but rather the uncertainty of whether it will even lead to happiness or satisfaction in the aftermath if you do. If succeeding and failing both lead to the same discontent it's only natural to not attempt anything with your own willpower
"The comfortability of sadness" really hits home for me, where leaving yourself on the down low is normal, it would feel as if I hit a dirty jackpot whenever I was acknowledged or appreciated for anything. And I would become instantly giddy or overconfident in that moment, because I internalized the idea that I know I didn't actually deserve that praise and was similar to tricking/fooling them mentally. Everything in this video has been something I contemplated about before, but all of them together really painted the entire picture well.
Noone never asked for anything. You talk, somebody listens. And if they are not listening and ask stupid questions like "who asked", then it's nothing to take personal.
Speaking as someone who went to therapy to work through the baggage that led me to self-sabotage, that fear is definitely a big hurdle to overcome.
In my case, it was largely due to having my trust broken by many people. (Family members, teachers, "friends," etc)
The wounds often run deep and manifest in ways we may not realize until we're well into the work of healing.
If I did have any advice for those seeing this video at the point they need it, it would be this.
Let yourself feel.
As weird as is sounds, a lot of what held me back was not allowing my emotions to just be emotions, constantly burying them or setting them aside as "not helpful."
Just taking that moment to allow the emotions run their course, be it fear, sadness, anger, anxiety, is an important first step to working through them.
May any who find this video and read these words one day find true peace within themselves. Know that you are not alone.
“Finding comfort in feeling sadness due to its familiarity with one’s-self” is how I’d describe my tendency to gravitate towards such choices of self-sabotage throughout my life. This video has helped me see a more clearer picture of said familiarity more than I ever had. Wonderful concept yapping sir! May those who are healing find solace in this video, you deserve to feel safe 🖤
You fear happiness because you do not want the pain from loosing that happiness like you did once... You fear anything positive to yry to escape the pain of drift to the negative aspect of the cocept in question. So it just feels better to remain in the negative. Simply put, Mr. A would remain on the ground to avoid the pain from contact with the ground from fallong from an earlier unsuccessful jump. I may not be fully right but I am just speaking from perspective. ✌🏿
If you are someone who suffers with self sabotage I have a question for you.
Do you, when overwhelmed with problems out of your control, create more problems so your life is not recoverable?
If you do, don't you notice how you make it through these problems even if it feels like all you want is to not live your own life?
You are not alone in your problem, even if you have no friends no family no significant other and no hobbies, there is someone out there who understands, there is someone out there who cares, and I promise you, if you keep living, you'll find your place in this world.
No.
Just no.
Ill admit. I have plenty of shit. That I am not proud of in myseklf ive made many mistakes and am stubbern in ways I really ought not be. But just as much as me being a better person might help it might help if it wasnt society creating problems for me to overcome for the sake of happyness or even just no reason.
Struggling and down on your luck? DOnt worry. every social program to help you will strip you of your humanity with demorlalizing demeaning questions where we frame aevery little thing thats your fault when what happened was beyond your control at that time.
If you want a bank account better have a home adress you dont have.
Oh your homeless on the street? How dare youy ruin good working buisness property as I see People punished for struggling to get by by people doing better who are als o scared and struggling to get by iin thier own right.
Ive seen churgches displace homeless encampments ive seen that the "affordable housing" Isnt affordable.
Ive seen people in cars. so many. and fellow people who also lost thier houses thier pets thier lives ive seen some get it back just for it to slip again cause guess what rend got jacked again.
Im tired. and to top it off I dont know anything... I was already tired and suicidal before I lost my house. then went 13 cats. a father I didnt even really know how to feel about. And I was expected to take on work. Witch fair enpugh except im already a socially recluse time bomb with no idea what the fuck to do...w
And even as I now work and work harder than I ever have im just seeing new layer after layer how we constantly fuck over eatchother... what happened to people. why do we do this to eatchother.
And then... "Just dont ask why"
"Best keep that to yourself"
"I got my own problems"
...
and the only time I ever got to feel like a human being. when I started doing pot.
Emotions I never felt before old falmniliar yet undescribeable emotions.
Emotions I forgot I had but Could actually put a name to.
Thoughts and opinons on the world around me questions and drives Ive been told so many times I should have. feel like I can finally START to obtain and understand them...
Im so tired.
It feels like the world around me is already too advanced for me. ffs. I remember throwing a cartridge into a gameboy. I remember putting the vhs from blockbusters on my tv. Games while some online flash games existed I actually owned not 200+ games I semi own The right to download and play (*most of them from bundles n free game giveaways odf sorts*) till inevitably an online service dies. I didnt see the ffact that between licensing and all sorts of nonsense most games arnt even accessable legally.
News used to be the place to see weather and keep up with news now im watching the most retarded election being ran by "the people" Yet somehow theres no room for my voice just 2 sets of A and B choice options on any moral or social issue ticked and as long as you pick a side all the boxes automatically get filled and no one thinks about what if.... heeaven forrbid there is compromise or a third option.
Now the world is ending due to using up resources sun exploding*I dont care bout the sun exploding I get thats not my lifetime*
Harder economic times than ever apparantly when it comes to buying homes Used to be able to look for cars in someones yard for a couple hundred bucksfor that money all you get is a pile of rust and bolts taht you need toed. now everyithing from clothing to electronics is cheaper and breaks at the SUGGESTION of a mild breeze planned obsolesence? or is it bad financial times?
I cant tell anything anymore cause theres so much information that conflicts and is trying to show its riight by foregoing other information and so on that when Im told global warning I dont know if we could go green and fix it if the awnswer is nuclear energy that is safer apparantly and less resource intensive than solar wind hydro or if the awnswer is none of the above because either its a natural phenomina witch could make sense I mean. the planet has been a snowball a couple times over the span of a number of years beyon dmy comprehenison and understanding Or if its all just a bunch of political hog wash to get money for another program we might very well not need.
I just want to be able to live. a modest living without looking over my shoulder every five seconds to make sure I havent lost it all. again. that shouyldnt be too much to ask for one person weeking 8 hrs a day of thier lives paying thier taxes ion a system that has already Let me down to acchieve that. let alone two people...
And about every book and youtuber claims to be a financial expert who know show to solve your problem with thie 10 step program anmd every emotion that ails you and range from not at all useful fails to feel connected at all to Oh now I think I have ten social disorders adhd socially inadequit suicidal self destructi narcisistic sociopathic phychopath Or I just cant afford to go into debt trying to navigate how If I go to a doctor I cant afford anything to not go in debt and then with this 3rd party I give a small sum of monie and now a 500$ Bandaid is covered... Or how I have to struggle with taxes when other countries do it for you. THey have my information. They can easily get it I cant nearly as muvh so yet If I Get it wrong I owe money and wtf is the goverment paid to do? look at my information not use it and tell me to have an exact estimate to the cent or I get fined for failing the math THEY HAVE.
And people wonder why the hell people give up. or shrug it off and say eh. sucks to suck...
Its all tedium and nonsense beyond my comprehension.
And while its my fault in ways im not the smartest or best person in the world.
Why tf should everyone be doing this song and dance like dancing monkeys. just to feel a bear minimum of security.
Why do bosses get to do nonsense and make people stand all day everyday
Boomer: Lazy yuppy
me: FOR NO REASON.
Im not saying if the job requires you to stand and do stuff thats understandable but when a job forces you i one spot. all day every day your expected to buyy better soles better shoes maybe even your own standing mat so YOU can stand comfortly and what is so important you must do this all day every day deny yoyur basic humanity force fake smiles and pointless banter and put up insult from customer base with little to no room for recource? Scanning items at a store or greeting people... Why? Unproffesionalism and thats the onlhy excuse they need.
I hate thismindset "oh they pay you so you should suck and tickle thier money sacks and beg harder just to get the bare minimum from society. and it doesnt matter cause theres always fresh meat to replace you and take your place if ai or a store kiosk doesnt take it.
I hate that i didnt have this video earlier. Early this year, my girlfriend broke up with me because of how i came to her for everything. I vented out all of my problems, all of my feelings, only to her. I was overly dependant on her, and i couldnt change that fast enough. Being self aware, but still not knowing how to change any of it hurts. I got a taste of happiness, understanding, and love, and i tried too hard to cling onto it.
To anyone who reads this, i hope you all are able to find happiness. And when you do, remember that it's not going anywhere. Even if you want to hang on to it, because you finally have it, the act of doing so will cause that happiness to slip away. What you arent holding onto, cannot slip through your fingers. You have to trust that it will remain with you for it to truly be yours.
Thanks for reading a random stranger's story on the internet. I hope none of you have to go through what i have.
This is video is honestly so well-made. It resonated a lot with how I've been feeling since 2020 constantly sabotaging my social life and mental health and it hurts more when you've been seen your entire childhood as the gifted quiet kid and all of a sudden you're failing at school or college and falling into addictions. You're almost seen by peers and family members as this person that has great intelligence and potential but is wasting it simply because of laziness or other judgments they make about you. Sometimes we don't ever see or know the only people who can understand or empathize with us but videos like this lets others know they're at least not alone.
Man I could have done better in a lot of stuff in my life dang my life ngl sucks I messed so badly I just don't wanna try anymore I don't think I will be able to fix my past mistakes
you put my thoughts into words. the anxiety of losing happiness and secuirity makes us more likely to self sabotage because with sadness we tend to expect less. thank u for this videooo
Just wanted to comment, but 5:21
Self-awareness for me is defiantly a curse, i know whats mostly wrong (for example: low self-esteem), for some things how to make it right (go to the gym to better your health, body), but just don't do it, because - i am *lazy*, its not worth it.
Tho, I am not sad, i would say i am pretty happy, i love what i have, its just that the longer i live the more i understand that i have no hobbies, no passion in anything. I have tried learning how to make games - dropped it, Tried learning how to draw - dropped it, Tried learning piano - dropped it, Tried learning video editing - dropped it.. too.
I don't know exactly why, but if i had to guess it may be - comparison is the killer of joy - line. Like i don't get motivated by seeing other peoples work, i mostly get discouraged and the sentence "not worth it" comes in to play, or something like that.
Its very hypocritical, because to learn, i want to, have to read/watch TH-cam videos of how, but lose motivation. I am privileged that i have a pretty stable life, have hands and shit, best friend, but at the same time i envy those who can just do what they want, if that makes sense.
I consider my self very young (20), but the anxiety of what i will do in life does get to me - i never was good at anything, except wasting time* with friends playing games or watching TH-cam, movies.
* - i don't really think its wasting time, if you have made memories, had fun, was happy - its not a waste of time, its just the duality of it and maybe if i had found my passion hobby and pursued it, things would of been different, if that makes sense.
_The more i re-read it, the more i envy what others might not go thru, like i live in easy difficulty in one aspect, but hard in another, i don't know._
_Thanks for reading my rant, either way, it helped me put my thoughts in order about this more_
PS. If its about others, like my friends ask for advice or anything of that sort, i am really trying to help them or just ask question to make them think in a different way - opposite of sabotage. Just if i could place those tips in my life. My minds wants to get up, do that and this, but my body, *my body just keep telling me no*
The one thing people NEVER talk about is what do you do when you keep failing upwards? Ironically I’ve done so many things that would ruin others and in my case they end up having minimal impact. I have never had control and yet I am still waiting to be punished by it. The worse is when you feel at your lowest and no one seems to realize so they still reward you and hold you in their esteem but when you actually make a concerted effort it doesn’t matter. How is that fair to others that do try and fail or the ones that never get to at all?
It was never about fairness, that's a concept.
perspective will change things.
I think you've got something backwards here. Why does failure mean pain? Why does losing at something mean punishment? Go play a game with somebody. Play chess with someone better than you. When you lose, did it hurt? Was it punishing? Or did you play a game with a friend, did you get to see their smile and feel their presence in your life?
You, personally, are allowed to have good things happen for no reason. Just like you can stub your toe on a table you've had for years, someone can compliment you on a shirt they've seen you in before. Good things happen just as often as bad things do, and often for no reason at all.
As for fairness, why do I deserve your lot in life? I'm not you, I will never be you, why should I experience the same things as you? Fair only applies if everyone takes the same action the same way. And yes, we can do things to help those who have been ruined by choice or by chance, but ultimately, fair doesn't exist because they are themselves, and you are yourself. Maybe that's harsh, but it's real. Don't turn your good fortune into bad fortune just because you're worried some Fairness Police is gonna kick down your door and make you lose what you have.
Make the most of it while it's here, you never know when it will stop.
I feel like you and me maybe have had similar experiences that make it hard to just feel like you deserve things cause it might get snatched away, and the pain may be too much to bear for us to handle..i still struggle of course i can't act like i am not struggling still currently but atleast know that your not alone here i always feel guilt and a lot of shame and its feels like it eats me up a lot..to the point i break people say i am a good kid but i can't believe them and i feel like i just want them to get mad like i am supposed to deserve this punishment because i am not worth this kindness these people give me..its
Okay, to be selfish is what someone told me before. It's okay to be selfish just once in a while. Let yourself be selfish...
I've never been a person who could easily put to words how i feel. Its frustrating sometimes to have such strong emotions and no way to say it to someone or not being able to explain it. it feels lonely and like no one could understand. But what you have done here with this video is nothing short of a shot through the heart. Everything I've felt but could never express is right here, packaged in a 9 minute video. Thank you for making this, its so reflective of what I'm sure a lot of people feel and could never express, or let alone even maybe understand. Thank you.
Happiness makes me uncomfortable because i know it's not gonna last, that after a high i can, eventually, only go down
Plus i don't even remember most of the trauma that made me like this, but it's full effects remain, i'd love to have internalized something better to this extent
Funny I get this recommendation RIGHT AFTER I stopped this process of self-sabotage completely. And I love it, because it reaffirmed to me, what I have been slowly getting at over the past year...yes, greatness is near me, and I have finally been able to love myself for who I am, and let me tell you, that's the best thing ever.
This is something I’ve been asking myself for many years… why am I okay with self-sabotage? I’m not someone who is good at expressing thoughts and emotions with words, but you explained how I feel and act with such emotions perfectly. I was okay with failing and never trying again, knowing that I just never tried. I always blamed myself for not getting it right the first time and for being lazy, always taking the easy route, not putting in the work that others do to be where they are today.
I have to put in the time and effort if I want to be successful. No shortcuts, no excuses. I just have to continue looking forward to experiencing life and being the best me every day. Thank you for the 8 minutes of 'yapping.' From today, I’ll start taking small steps in my life daily to be able to say one day, “I am happy with who I am as a person." I wish everyone here to be successful and happy. Once again, thank you very much ❤. You earned a sub. I hope to see more future content from you and inspire more people to be the best version of themselves 😊.
yapping!!?? i have never found someone who could articulate these exact feelings ive had like you do and thank you for that.
I self-sabotage because I have a "need" that is unachievable... and it's the only reason why I keep living. Well no, responsibility will be the one. You see... I can perceive other people's emotions. When I was little, even though I was already good at it, there were a lot of things that I couldn't understand, so I try to decipher humans. I did it. I had become so aware of myself and others that I can perceive their feelings just but looking at them. However, I still suck at perceiving when someone has an interest in me, but all the rest I see it.
I'm tired of the pain of everyone. I'm tired of seeing it, feeling it... hearing it. I just want to make the world a little less painful; but not with laughs and happiness, but with awareness and responsibility. There are so many ways to avoid feelings or coping with them... that I just want to create a safe space to face them. And that place it's so hard to reach... the more I walk to it, the more I feel powerless.
I just want to help... but in the end no one can really help anyone, it is always oneself who can really do it. I feel doomed to see them do the same mistakes over and over, and see them suffer, over and over. No matter what I do, it will never be enough. No matter how much I love them, it is not mine the one they need. I already got what I wanted from life... Now I'm doomed to live it, and I loath it.
Getting used to sitting in the saddness and letting it take over has led me to further isolation that i was always scared of. One day at a time i started to let the sun hit my face more and more and I was able to enjoy my accomplishments, i was able to enjoy the people around me more. Im still learning how to be more social and make friends. But one day at a time
this feels like a breaking point i have yet to achieve in life. for years I have gotten myself constantly stuck in my own fantasies, yet only recently do I see the stark contrast of my intangible dreams apart from this daunting reality. I also had created plenty of metaphors that best represents all the situations I am in, yet they're all for waste as it was never a purpose of change. no matter how much I've screamed through the piano keys (I do study music and piano), no matter how long my diaries are, trying my best to make sense of my "unthinkable" ideations; this video pretty much sums up my thought process. Thank you.
As someone with chronic abandonment problems I am always self sabotaging when it comes to relationships with others. It's easier to be alone than to fail someone else's expectations, or even worse, when they fail mine. I'm fully aware it's a problem of mine and knowing that I just need to push past that vulnerability and let people in seems like an easy solution on the surface but the very instant something goes poorly in a relationship I find myself spiraling out and pushing people away or just completely shutting off like I always do.
I really want to keep trying and I'm really sick of being so lonely all the time but it's just such a scary thought after all the trauma past relationships (friendships, familial, and romantic relationships all) have put me through. Suffering in solitude isn't a way to live but it's the way I've found myself living for almost 7 years now. I can't even say I have one person in my life I'm truly myself around anymore
I been self sabotaging a lot recently when it comes to my relationship with my older sis in law, I'm so sad because we were really close at one time & she always used to have my back, but now I feel like I'm too far gone & I've gone too far down the hole now :(
This video has potentially changed my life
Thanks. I’ll do the challenge applying for my first job tomorrow even if I don’t feel comfortable for it. Better to stop delaying the inevitable, yeah?
@@illchangethislater7936 best of luck 🤝
Your timing is... insane. I needed this. Thank you so much.
I've done this many times, but this time has been inspired by factors I had minimal control over to begin with. I'm the only person working in my household, and I've tried to swallow my pride, even having gone back to a job I hated, and quit same day as my notice. But I got sick this past week, and it's cost me 80% of my attendance points I'm allowed in a year. Today, my mentals snapped at work, and I ate that final point. My coworker (at my labor intensive job) is gone this week on medical leave, and the expectations on my shoulders have effectively tripled in his absence. I don't want this job anymore, but my savings are few, and my bills are many. I'm tired, and just as you talked about, I'm so much more afraid of change that I'm far more likely to quit, (or get fired) and try back at this job again than even apply to anywhere else. I'm as scared of success as I am of failure, because what if I'm just trading the hell I'm familiar with for one I can't quite handle?
I can't believe a stranger online can voice how I feel my whole life when I can't understand why I'm like this. Even when I'm in this body of mine for this long. Thank you for making this video!
Last year, i lost control of everything, its because of i got Tuberculosis. Everything that i have and plan out already broke, i lost my Scholarship, i lost my chance to study aboard country, i got loan dept for hospital bills, and even my gf left me.
I already made a piece to myself for those things, because its not my fault for things that happened. I still move foward, i go to gym, do my college.
But its feel like im dont have a clear destination, its never feel enough. I feel afraid to being left out and afraid to do anything instead. Maybe because i dont have control of my life like before, idk. I really hate this feelings
it’s unfortunate to hear that man. I’m just a stranger on the internet with his own daily personal struggles, although I feel like it’s okay to not have a clear destination of life, as it is part of the natural process. That’s a part of what being human is.
Life can be pretty shitty at times, although in spite of it, you just have to keep on keeping on man. We’re all in this together
@@jaekoi Thank you for your kind words and the video too. It has given me some assured that I didn't do anything wrong rn, I think I will keep walking until I know what I really wants
I was beating myself up, so much so that I felt being a disappointment, got angry at those who i helped but that are successful. Disappointed at myself for feeling the way I am, scared with all the expectation not having met. The video really opened up my mind about it, I did self-sabotage myself, always picking the easy way out of all things, not putting the work which the people I helped did. I need to put on that specific effort, that's all there is to it, I know time may not be on my side, and all I can do is go forward, I just need to live with that but also learn why it happened. I realize it just now having listened to this video. This 8 minutes of yapping really helped me. Thank you.
The real losers are those who fear failing so much that they don't harbor willingness to try anymore. This is a statement that everyone who falls into despair should know.
Everything I do right makes me feel disappointed in myself for not doing it in the first place. It gives me the feeling of pain in my chest to even think about the possibility that could have happened. I'm a person with many regrets. This seems to make sense of what I'm going through. Thanks for creating this video.
bro did read my mind already.
After failing so many times, I've become so scared of the pain and the consequences that failure brings that I just started to give up on things before I even tried. Thanks for making me realize how pathetic I've become and Thanks for the vid you gain another sub ❤
I really needed this video btw. I remember not too long ago, i made a comment on a motivational speakers channel, and i commented that my dream was to become popular on youtube, but when i asked "how does that sound?" He replied back with only one word "STUPID" I just replied "well, no sub for you" you know, to act like i don't care, when deep down, it actually kinda hurt me. A motivational speaker saying my dream was stupid was the last thing i expected to happen. But im glad youtube recommended me your channel. Really gives me hope for the future, im not just saying that either
I’m sorry, but who the hell is this “motivational speaker”?! They has no right to say that as a “motivational speaker”, they need to be reported.
Idk but that doesn’t sound very motivational, chase your dreams bro.
@@switchy_kova393 his channel name was just called Tom. And I think he blocked me from commenting further, cause I never got another response from him, you know, to ask him to elaborate, even though he replies to almost all of his commenters. I don't think I'd be able to report his channel though. Ps, sorry for my late reply.
@@MakioGoHardio thanks man, I appreciate it 👍
Maybe it's the algorithm, maybe it's because it's what I've been thinking lately, and this video is absolutely purely coincidental, but I feel like this speaks to my soul. I've always felt like Hamlet, no matter how good the plan may be, I feel like I always fail to act to complete the plan as expected because I expect so little from myself. It's easy to forget everything you have overcome in your life up until this point, but videos like this remind me that the only person that has stayed a constant is myself. Not in a disheartening way, but that the biggest supporter should be for myself, since they will be there for the rest of my life no matter where I may end up in the end.
For those who are also struggling with this topic of self implosion, I've recently started writing down in a journal a few thoughts that I feel and then counteracting them with positive thoughts about myself as well. So you aren't just casting away negative thoughts, but instead replacing them with positive ones that make sense. i.e "I feel worthless, but the people around me don't see me that way, so maybe there is something I'm doing right.” or “I'm ugly, but pretty people tend to talk to me even though I don't feel as good-looking." It's a long working fight that you will have to face against yourself, but we will get there. Hang in there, everyone!
thank you, i've probably had the hardest week i've ever had in a while and i really adore how much this video completely read my mind of its pains
You worded everything I learned and went through during my journey of chronic depression and eventually dysthymia, so beautifully. Thank you for sharing your piece of mind
the thing that’s helped me to sort of ignore my self loathing and self sabotaging tendencies to try and improve my life was thinking of how my rabbit perceives me. in my own eyes i am nothing and no one, but to my sweet little bun, i am her entire world. she needs me and she loves me without a care for all my shortcomings, i will always be her pet parent who can make treats appear out of nowhere and bring her food and keep her comfortable in the changing seasons. i am her everything when no one else sees my worth, and it means everything. it means everything.
Immediate subscribe.
I really needed this philosphical insight.
I can relate to most if not all of what you have said in the video.
In my tween years I managed to get a high score in the college board exams.
But I decided to drop out of college.
I know it was a terrible mistake, but I wish to pick up and at least get a job someday. My family has been patient with me and have tried to be understanding.
I know I owe them for mamy thingd that they have fldone for me. I dont want to end up failure to them, but the path ahead won't be an easy one. I just have to start with mustering courage and slowly go up from there.
Again I deeply thank you for this video, I clicked it out of curiosity, but boy did I resonate with the video. I wish you all a very nice day.
This was beautiful thank you so much for sharing this video and also I definitely want to ask myself these questions and go from there but in life we have choices so we just have to decide which one is best for us. But also keeping a journal helps a lot with our mental capacity, and who ever is watching this video I hope you heal from what is making you self sabotage.
thank you to the creator and the comments. yall helped a ton
All true and painful to hear. I keep myself safe by living in sadness, I'm still too scared to live happily now, even after my circumstances have changed. Thank you for this chat.
This is absolutely needed advice for so many people in the modern world, especially me. I've felt what this video describes so well when i wasn't able to describe it.
Stop stopping yourself. Break the self-aware paradox. Believe in the version of you that believes in you.
This is such a great realisation after years of selfloathe.
Another such thing I came across was "Inside bydefault you're a confident person, you just need to unlearn the insecurities and as you untie those knots of insecurities like pebbles you'll find sea of happiness. You're born a sea.
Y'know, as someone who has a hard time usually even pinning emotions. This spoke to me. I have become prone to self-sabotage a lot more in recent years... And hearing some the statements I know for a fact I have said and resonated with. and hell, correspondence is my mode. it's what even helps me find where my headspace is. including this a, as matter of fact, I was just unemployed for 2 months following being fired for actions of my own doing. Not after experiencing many different situation within work that left me feeling like a fish out of water and green as grass. It made me feel small. and sure enough, that self sabotage left me in dire straits leading to a spiraling mental. Thank you for putting my thoughts into video form for me to see as a reflection of sorts.
this is one of the most well made videos i have seen on youtube, and ive seen a lot. The atmosphere you created in this video was amazing, thank you for this masterpiece, both as a video and as a message
@@debew thank you for the kind words dude :) have a good one
@jaekoi you too buddy, you've earned another subscriber
this is such a underrated video I’ve been struggling with the exact thing and this was what I needed thank you so much❤❤❤
Cohesive, structured and direct essays about self sabotage with an artistic usage of anime scenes with their own message packed in that supports the point you trying to make
Props to you, and thanks this was eye opening for me
You just perfectly described my current state of mind with this 8 minute video, you earn this sub.
Honestly thank you for this, I saw this at a very important time in my life, and it has helped me through more than i could put into words. I look forward to seeing whatever you make next!
2021-2023 have been the hardest years of my life on an emotional level and i could never really put it into words the way i felt. So this vid really hits close to home, thank you.
this video makes me feel less alone. Thank you, and good luck to everyone reading
For me, it's more towards, i used to be good at (especially school) stuff without trying and then tried/learned new stuff and even with efford it didnt give me the "praise" i used to get. So slowly i put less effort into everything and the expectations went down alongside it. Now im at a point where as long as i dont try something i dont get any negative respondance so its predictable and "good"
Damn, I really felt lost and unable to change myself for a long time. This video really hit home and opened my eyes. Being 26 lost and hopeless and not to do shit about almost drove me insane and made me think more and more about ceasing to exist.
This video really inspired me to change and try to get out of this hole I was stuck in for so long.
God Bless Bro and all the best!
I just want to say thank you for this kind work of you. Thanks for making someone feel much better. I myself at some point in my childhood experienced some kind of isolation from my friend. I somehow got considered as the "rightous, standard, pure" kid, and that title put up an invisible barrier between me and my friends. I grew up unknowingly keeping that facade as my outside identity and seeing my friends slowly drift away from me. Now I am struggling to find who I am. What belongs to the self-made facade and what belongs to the true me? This inner battle has caused me to experient periodic cycles of stress and self-destrutive behaviours, which in itself is another vicious cycle. But through time and confronting with my fear, sometimes just grin my teeth to continue my day or may I say life , I partly learned to be independent on my emotions and treat my sense of loneliness, thought the cycle keeps repeating. It is great to find a stranger on the Internet that share the same problem and hope with me. I believe that someday with perseverance, you will become one with yourself. Just want to thank you again
Damn...a video that pretty much sums up what I've been going through my whole life? And was explained really well? I guess I ain't the only one. The self awareness has been with me for as far as I can remember. It fuckin sucks. Good ass video dud. Keep it up.
This video came into my house and punched me in the face. "Positive emotions make me restless, because I feel like I am unworthy of them." Ouch?! Great video man, especially given how short it is!
"The real loser are those who's afraid to feel so much that they don't harbor the willingness to try." That feel more like a strike in the gut than a sensible words spoken. As if it was out of concern and not out of responsibility. Hate and love this video.
Thank you for this video. I almost didn't click on it. I was too comfortable admitting I'm /comfortable/ in my sadness, wallowing in my own head and trapped by my countless trauma and burdens. i DO self sabotage. I need to fix that. Starting right now. Thank you so much. You've got another sub. I look forward to your next video. I rarely comment on videos, but I felt compelled to.
All of this hits deeply personal for me. I’m 34 with late diagnosed ADHD, and I feel like after so much work in trying to understand how my brain works and become more self-aware of my issues, I still have problems attempting new things or trying to better myself because it feels like I’m just going to fail, or get distracted and never follow through. Because in my brain, that’s what always happens, so why try? It’s a mental hole that I’m still struggling to get myself out of. I appreciate this video a lot, and you’ve definitely gotten a sub from me brother. 🤘🏻
Cant believe this made me cry, I went insane in the past for a few years and it completely changed me I was not able to find happiness for years, even just depression was comfortable compared to my worst times. I remember trying over and over for years to get better but failing always and the situation was only getting worse. Thankfully I somehow didn't kill myself.
Thanks for this vid, it helped me realize how it effects me to this day.
After I realised how insignificant we are, how all out troubles, all our misfortunes and needless stress in our life's, it all meant nothing and it only quantifies when I saw how big the universe is and how small this planet is. I felt empty and lost in such an infinite space so many of us live in.
Though I am in a better state now
The vision of what I live for still remains as a blurry image
I feel at peace with the universe around me
Accepting any fate that comes my way
And honored for any gifts in this life that is presented to me... even the very smallest things
Strangely, today is giving me all these kind of videos, and I feel drawn to watch them.
Like life is leading me somewhere, I needed it all.
A reflection of myself, thank you, and here’s a sub.
I’ll be writing then, although, I’m grateful for this explanation and the video.
Alongside the person you are.
So, here’s just a simple message, thanks.
thank you for this video. i think many of us, as well as you, needed to hear these things
Thankyou for this. Everything I've been feeling about myself and understood about myself has been conveyed with much clarity in your video. I had been having trouble putting it to words. This was more than a yapping session... felt more like a detangling-my-awareness session.
This is one of those vids you rarely come across that hits hard, in a good way. Thank you for making it.
You managed to put into words what I've been feeling all this time. I always told people I felt happy when I am sad, but I didnt know why. Like what others have said, you've given me hope that one day I'll be able to break free and be comfortable with other emotions
Algorithm did wonders to bring me to your video, it simplifies those many stray thoughts I had in my head 😊
"Ignorance is a blessing", I often see people just go along and be happy with whatever hardship they have since they don't know much about the seriousness of that problem. I often want to reset my knowledge and self-awareness, back to my ignorance days... I study psychology in college after dabbling with programming in high school and all those eye opening theories broke me inside. All my past mistakes and problems rushed back to me, tormenting me day to day. Had a bad social anxiety at one point (was even scared of phone ringing) and pretty much a half hikikomori (got much better but I withdrew back to my room again).
It's still hard for me to look forward to the future and go outside more, but I'm slowly taking my steps... Thank you for the video
Hello, and thank you for this video. As you said it was a yapping sesh of your thoughts of the topic based on personal experience but watching has allowed me understand a new perspective of this that I've been struggling to personally rationalize/understand. So once again thank you
This video, like many people, has already stated is a big eye opener for them. Seeing how summer is coming to a close and where I live fall is around the corner. It's hitting me hard knowing life is passing by so fast, and here I am not trying to take risks and try and find balance by being self distructive. But seeing this video makes me want to improve and grow as a person and get out there and try new things. So thanks for making a banger video bro and I think for some people who clicked on this video and watched it can officially say that this may help them push towards trying to make a better future for themselves.❤
i think that this is a very well thought out video, I never really thought of myself to be self-sabotaging but turns out I am. There comes a blurry mess between my perfectionism and me being realistic which can delve into cynicism. I am comfortable in my sadness, very comfortable. Misery loves company and there's nothing that calms me more than crying to myself. I introspect a lot, maybe too much and that might just end up being my downfall.
I completely understood everything you said. And in some ways I have moved past some mental barriers or at least became self aware enough to know they're there. I think the biggest thing holding me back is FULLY moving on and letting go and embracing more positive thoughts, even though I already have a way more healthy mindset now than I did a few years back, because what if I'm put in a situation one day where I have to comfort someone else experiencing similar thoughts and emotions that I am right now? Will I still be able to level with them or will have I completely forgotten what it's like by then and appear like a total stranger? Will I still even be me? It's like you said, it's like letting go of a childhood friend, or letting go of a part of yourself to put it more accurately. A part of yourself you've grown so comfortable with as your mind was still developing for years. But maybe just maybe I'm confusing my mind's development with the sad part that's supposed to make me, me. And maybe I can fully move on without forgetting, but not holding onto my sadness, depression and anxiety like a lifeline either and move forward.
thanks mate. I'm currenlty dealing with really overwhelming anxiety, and wantever I like, at the second someone says something negative about it, seem wrong, because I can't control it. I obviously don't wanna change people opinions, but because they don't have mine, it instantly feels like I'm wrong. And even if I know that's stupid, those intrusive negative throughs just make life horrible. And that's just a part of all of my stupid brain. Like, I dealed with derealisation, depression, really violent panic crisises... And because I did everything to avoid it, put it far away from me because it stole years of my life, it just come back even easier. I was educated in the idea that have the control is all I need. I mean, I still like making my own choices, determination etc, but sometimes breathing deeply and let go to just live, is something I which I could do (not on command, it would be a paradox). That's strange, not doing anything by being in incapacity to really just breath and do nothing. It's just... My brain always try to take my whole positive energy in a overthinking hole and then to push me in. All those "what if this isn't reality?" (sorry this one I can't think about it more than 30s without feeling so bad that I feel like I'm dead, so I won't talk about it, but I guess you got the subject), "what if I was wrong about the fact that's it's nice to be vegetarian? Plants are also living! But wait... I need to eat. But okay I know, by eating an animal, Im sure I'll hurt someone, and for plants we don't think they feel hurted, and at the end eating an animal is eating many plants cause the animal needed to eat before. And there's a big difference about the treatment to. Animals are living torture so... That's better to eat plants. But what if we didn't know... Okay we'll know this later, studies aren't published for now, and in fact that makes sence about the fact that but eating animal some plants will also die, and but eating plants it's just eating in a way more natural and healthy way cause for animals it's just treating them as objects and for plants, it's really just to live. Animals don't have any reasons to be killed by millions." What if my life doesn't have a sence? I would die, but if I'm too scared to die, I won't do anything, so it's like dying now, do what I'm doing for others is useful? Does this make sence to dedicate my life as, for exemple, scientific journalism, ecology, people care, but why do I have fun on video games where sometimes the violence make it fun? Is it competition? Does the job I'm gonna have by creating video games in a goal of informing people about important subjects really make sence?" And then, I'm just wondering why Im not happy... But in fact, about what you said aboud sadness (and Im so happy my brain relaxed and didn't give me anxiety for something I just wanted to listen without any judgment, like, Im happy I've been able to have my full brain oppened and having active listening), I just think Im happy to be sad sometimes, not in a sense it's a confort to avoid doing anything, just in a sense that, man, it's good to live the feeling, accept that we're suffering, and just let go by crying. Like an """useful""" sadness (not in a sense that every single thing we live have to be useful, in particulary in a strict way, just that it isn't a sadness that drowns you. It's a sadness of acceptance, of want to chance something, of pain that you make the choice to go through. Okay I talked to much again, thanks for your video, I'll stop resist, put the control off for a moment, even if Im scared to be unable to walk a second time, even if Im scared the 3 years of work I've almost lost because of a stupid phone that stoped working, could definitely diseaper. As this comment I copied 5 times, Im scared of loosing the very last copy that could last of my 3 years of work. Im into the Schrödinger's cat situation for a year, but I guess, I have to try to get back my save, because as long as I continue fleeing, I would never know if I still have that work or not, and until I try, I won't have it, whever the cat is dead, or not. So, mate, I'll take the risk. (I don't know when cause I'm busy and kinda slow doing this type of thing but I'll try haha)
This video hits twice as hard if you've watched the animes you use the most in the video, and relate to its main characters.
Great video man, thanks for this
Thanks for raising up those who needed it. Myself included. You have my gratitude.
I have been through some things in the past few years, after difficult decisions to improve my life. When things were very bad, I made a note to myself on scrap paper, I now have it taped up where I can see it every day. It says, "It does not matter if you F it up. It matters that you keep trying."
i fear taking the blue pill one day and simply cant even imagine it, people who are actually confident and have some self-esteem i just dont understand, its scary
This is something thats been on my mind alot that feels as i put off with simple distractions like socializing with friends and playing video games. For me its gotten to a point were i don't know where to make steps for physical progress over mental and emotional progress. Currently biting my time waiting for the first day of my tradeschool to begin as I blew off getting my license since i fooled myself into not needing it, havent had a job since quiting my last one since my family and i were moving further.
It’s not yapping when you almost made me cry 😢. Thank you so much
@@maybesamzz2 hang in there man!
I have been meaning to make a video like this my whole life, and you managed to capture all of my thoughts into one beautiful video. Thank you kind stranger, you have given me inspiration and warmth.
I notice I tend to do this a lot in my life due to past traumas of being betrayed by those close to me. Said people would also abuse me into thinking that I never deserved anything either. I've noticed any time I try to put care into myself, I slip back into not wanting to care. Or when it comes to keeping friends, my paranoia gets the better of me and I distance myself before I get hurt. The odd irony is that in a lot of cases where I distance myself from people, I'm proven right that some people aren't as good as I thought to begin with. That bothersome feeling is worsened because some people I have distanced myself from and cut out were people I knew for a long time but my eyes never "opened up" to the fact they were bad from the get go.
Damn this is pretty eye opening for me. I honestly am thankful this came up in my feed. I realize now what that whole cycle of whatever this was really is. Self-sabotage. This year marks 5 years since leaving my abusive transphobic ex, who was the root cause of many issues of this pattern. Slowly I have been trying to get better though. I know it's a mix of past trauma, lack of self care that has lead to sickness and deficiencies that have affected my mental and physical state. I am aware that also due to my neurological conditions, that does not help by denying my body nutrients as it also affects the brain. I am truly going to try harder. I want to improve so that I can try to get top surgery this year or the next as it will improve my quality of life.
I've internalized that me trying is worthless, I screw up everything anyway. So willingness is long dead. I only know what I don’t want. That’s it 🤷♂️
I've been doing this for years now, one attempt at ending my misery later, and I feel better. I've taken a lot for granted, and yet. I still do it, I still feel uncomfortable with the presence of happiness. I'm not used to it, it hurts. I wish I could stop making things worse for myself. I wish I could stop pushing people away by holding them too close. Maybe, when I'm a bit older, I can finally be happy, but, actually.
Why is TH-cam recommending me such deep videos so deep into the night ?
Thank you so much. I really needed to hear that❤
Even if I can't manage to escape self-sabotage, but atleast I hope everyone can achieve the happiness they deserved.
Weird that I have two sides saying that I probably should count myself as someone in this vid but at the same time I don't
Anytime I think that I'm self deprecating or stressed I forget that I'm actually a blessed person with good and caring parents that provide for my needs. When I remember this I realize that I cant comprehend the severity of others in a much worse situation. I like to conclude that I really am a normal person that's not depressed or mentally unstable. "That would be an insult to someone who's actually depressed, like imagine what they're going through" is what I always thought
I still cant help the subconscious feeling that I'm a failure to my parents, that I can't live up to what they've given to me, and that time and time again I failed their hopes and trust. I feel someday in the future all the consequences of my actions will lead to regrets.
But right now I have to keep telling myself "It'll all work out. We'll figure something out. It's not the end even if I fail. That's right I'm mentally fit, because I have a supportive and complete family, so I can get through this"
Try to talk to them about your thoughts hust so you aren't so alone with them
6:23 I wanted to say that I have experienced this not too long ago. I suffer from Severe Anxiety, Severe OCD and Depression and I’m so used to feeling sad and empty that nothing can make me feel happy like an exciting event In my life and I’m so used to not socializing and I in fact still hate it but I went to a Church event for my whole religion back in June and I did not want to go and I thought I was gonna hate it and I decided to try to talk to people and make friends even though I was super scared and not feeling it but that whole week I felt a sense of happiness? Like I was feeling weird inside but in a good/bad way. It was new or something I have not felt in so long that I have forgotten. I can’t remember what that feeling was like but it was new and I remember calling my dad about my day and telling him this and he told me that it was coming out of your shell and opening up more. Exactly what you said in this video, “it’s dangerously comfortable”. It is. It’s weird I know.
Honestly, thank you for making this video. I have been telling myself for years that I have to start getting my life back together but failed every time cause like you said I felt like I didn't deserve it, but I hate the life I'm living right now, and I know that I have to get out of my comfort zone (if you can call it that) so I can at least start living again. Again, Thank You for making this, I really needed this!! Really love videos like this, can't wait to see more videos from you!
When even my most hardest working moments don't bear fruit, what stops me from just offing myself?
Hey. This may not be a video i would normally ask for, but it is something i needed to hear. Thank you
As soon as I was born, I opened myself up to the always possible and eventual inevitability of death, failure, and grief. So why not seize the day when it is given?
Life is not distributed equally; one may only have one thousand, one hundred, or only ten days on earth. So regardless of how many you will have, understand that some of those days will be hard, but it is up to us, it is our duty, to use every day we are given and enjoy it. It's not for us to choose, to opt out of the game, or to take away someone else's right to life.
This is the human experience: to live and love and fuck around and find out. You are one of one. Try new things, learn, be with others, and by doing this, you will inspire others with your unique perspective.
There is always more to do, always something out there to fix, always someone to help, and that's the point. We each do a little during our miniscule time and then it's over, so have fun with it while it lasts.
Thank you for this video it resonated with me a lot, I’ve been self sabotaging/being complacent for a year and a half, I’ve been hating myself over it and I want to start doing something for my future, I feel worried all the time and my heart feels heavy, this put a bit of pressure off me and made me think more positively, I’ll come to this video every time I feel down or start getting complacent again.
I have adhd and right now as of today i tried something new i tried going out with people I never would have gone with, i tried trying to talk to people i never would have talked with. And its well yeahh im still subconcious rejecting all of it im scared of it. Im scared of it im really scared of it i instantly want to sabotage myself but i know this is better this will be better I will make it better. Pray for me 🙏
@@marcelloskurniawan894 Rooting for you, man.