"So do not ignore your emotions. Instead, recognize them, step back to make sure they are not overpowering your ability to act, and determine how you can channel them to act in a productive manner. If you are able to do this, you will become a master of emotional maturity." Charlotte Maloney
@@fsadfasfdYeah, you've never been in love. Or held a child of your in your arms. Or have been grateful to see another sunrise. Humans are far more subjective than they are objective. Not only intellectually but emotionally too. Emotions are part of our intelligence. Without them the species would have never survived, and they are a counterpart to our intellect. Both are good servants but poor masters. The truly intelligent never rely on one without consulting the other, and the truly wise master them both.
@@fsadfasfd Not remotely accurate. Emotional dysregulation is a term used to describe an emotional response that is poorly regulated and does not fall within the traditionally accepted range of emotional reaction. It may also be referred to as marked fluctuation of mood, mood swings, or labile mood.
In summary, we would: 1) Strive to know ourselves better 2) Be humble in our opinions and assertions, because self-knowledge is difficult to attain 3) Be mindful that this is because our conscious minds are easily distracted and prone to denial, and thus not very good at accessing unconscious parts of ourselves 4) Frequently remind ourselves of our mortality and use it as a source of focus, appreciation, and courage in daily life 5) Be aware that everyone, including ourselves, is often a bit silly 6) Be comfortable with our fallibility while having reasonable faith in our competence 7) Be conscious that our thoughts and feelings can be influenced by our physiological states (e.g. hunger, sleep deprivation) 8) Respect the importance of politeness, and strive to be considerate of other people 9) Nonetheless learn to express our inner thoughts and feelings accurately rather than expecting people to read our minds 10) Offer people warmth and reassurance freely 11) Accept that we will not be liked by everyone, and stop people pleasing 12) Feel reasonably comfortable about not always conforming to people's expectations 13) Take our boredom seriously
Thank-you for taking the time to make this summary, it really is helpful. I got a question... How do we take our boredom seriously though? Could you suggest some practical ways please?
I like how the video says it's okay to be weird and not everyone has to like you. It's hard to remember sometimes, but it's a good thing to keep in mind.
I'm just grateful that every week I have the privilege of having one of your videos. It make me feel there is always hope and a glimpse of optimism despite of how difficult life, love and living is. Or better: that I am not alone.
I have been watching the School of life since many many years now, and the knowledge which you and your entire team has imparted has had a huge impact on my life and I want to thank-you and pray for your and your team that you guys can be safe and healthy and make many more of these life changing videos which makes us stop and think for a minute, making us look inward. Wishing you all a very happy New Year 2024!
"We wouldn't hold it against them that they didn't understand things we had never bothered to teach them." Wisest thing I've heard in a while. I'm in a relationship where sometimes I feel too lost in understanding if the things I say and do are really that much stupid. I feel like I get many things wrong and I feel my partner can't be really satisfied. This makes me wonder that perhaps, unconsciously, I can make her feel the same and that she's somewhat trying to understand me too. From now on I feel I can be more forgiving with myself for not knowing everything before I learn it and more forgiving with her too when I feel she's not getting what I consider the basics. Thanks for the blessing, hope everyone's enjoying life as it is.
So funny, I was going to scroll past this video, but the video below had a woman pointing at this one so I stopped and went back 😅. I really needed this video at this very moment. I just got back from work, finally had a chance to wind down, and I got wrote up for asking for advice from coworkers among other things of the sort, and I went to the bathroom and cried. They made me feel so bad about myself…I kept a calm, steady demeanor when they spoke to me, apologized, one of them didn’t even want to look me in the face during the conversation :,(. He kept an umbrella between us. I left, walked to my car holding in tears, then got in and sat in silence. I’m going to go into my last shift of the week tomorrow and in the end resign :,). I don’t have issues with expressing myself nor embarrassment. Why would I want to stay in an environment I will constantly feel insecure in! Although, you have to still keep a clear mind, and act respectfully. No matter if they make u cry! Some may see it as a negative thing for me to quit 🤷♀️ I trust myself, I am able to flourish elsewhere and that’s what this video needed to remind me ♥️.
This is one of the most important things that society (and individuals) could benefit from as it hopefully becomes more widespread. After 23 years of depression, anxiety, undiagnosed ADHD and short stay in the looney bin, my life is actually worth living and largely enjoyable now thanks to learning, building, and maintaining my mental wellbeing. Now I'm even writing a novel on it in hope that it will help others avoid the rabbit holes of an untrained mind in a chaotic world.
This video came at the perfect time. I always struggled with being calm then switching to blind rage… this helped me understand the deeper dynamics within myself and other people. Great work, School of Life🦋✨
Would also like to add one more characteristic... the recognition that 99.999% of people around you don't give a rats ass about emotional maturity and, therefore, lowering one's expectations of finding others respectful and appreciative of your journey is a given.
I think that percentage is likely far too high, but assume it's to say the majority, and that most people haven't learnt how important it is in their own lives and how it effects others. But totally agree it's a good idea to lower ones expectations of finding it in others. Also personally I find it helpful to not judge others too quickly if they appear to have low EQ, often it can be low in relation to a small number of ideals they hold, but high with the rest. And if you can find a way to get them to understand their lack of consistent logic or rationality between the opposing ideals, it can do a world of good for many
That is such an interesting comment that connects wuth something that i observed but couldn't really understand yet how to work out in situ. i would love for you to expand on that ❤ maybe if you can give a practical way you would communicate that to this type of person and then according to their response how you would then carry yourself ❤ thank you so much if you take the time 🤍
I think emotional intelligence is a journey. If someone sees it as a goal to be 'reached,' it may not reflect emotional maturity. Self-understanding comes from both introspection and an openness to life. It's okay to make mistakes and learn from them-give yourself grace, then move on. Our emotions are powerful and can teach us a lot about ourselves. Keep healing, getting to know the intricate parts of your deeper self! Who knows, perhaps you might find yourself. ♡
Excellent, as always. I happen to have advanced degrees and enjoy all of that stuff in my big brain that allows me to have fun with frontal lobe dynamics. Human beings are, however, social creatures, which is why I have believed for a long time that emotional intelligence is infinitely more important than intellectual intelligence. I think Einstein understood this, which explains why he quite literally shifted some paradigms with that whole "space/time" thing, but was also a great humanitarian. Thank you yet again School of Life. I really appreciate you all and your very important work. : )
@LoveEarthHereAndNow Psycho says what? Um, I re-read my post and saw that I wrote, "I happen to have advanced degrees." I also said some other stuff, but I "like" how you not only noticed that but took the time to write something that can only be interpreted as an attempt to "put me in my place." If I had a dollar for every time an "alternative person" going by the name of "Bean Sprout" or "LoveEarthHereAndNow" eventually showed themselves to be passive aggressive control freaks, I would be a wealthy woman indeed. I have the great fortune of living in Kealakekua, Hawaii of "little grass shack" fame. You can't throw a rock around here and not hit a passive aggressive "hippie" wearing bodhi beads and, perhaps, an ohm tattoo or whatever who is in actuality running from something or someone in his or her past. You can run to Hawaii from Michigan or whatever and change your name to Bean Sprout or whatever, but you will still be Debbie or whatever from Michigan, and there is nothing whatsoever wrong with tha. Maybe try making peace with Debbie or whatever, and your supposed desire for "peace" might be more real. From where I stand, your "peace" feels rather oppressive. Also, people who live in glass houses should probably not throw stones. Duh. Aloha.
*that I also happen to be a former English teacher who values precision in words. I also value authenticity above all else in the human experience. Be Here Now indeed.
@Zalk00000 I have a Master's Degree in English Literature and am ABD (all requirements except the dissertation) on a PhD in English Literature that I chose not to complete when my husband, daughter, and I moved to Hawaii in 2010. No regrets. : ) My "subject position," meaning my critical bias, was psychoanalytic criticism. I have, therefore, read all or at least many of the "heavy hitters" in the fields of psychology and psychoanalysis, including Freud, Jung, and their descendants. I also read a lot of philosophy and mythology. Nietzche and Joseph Campbell are the bomb. I also enjoy physics. Albert Einstein is a personal hero of mine for many reasons. So there you have it. I think I said previously that I live in Hawaii. Aloha. : )
please consider changing your endings so the video doesn’t become so buried and smothered by other things! it’s very hard to keep focused on it once you do this. thanks
Thank you School of Life for laying all of these complex corollaries so articulately so that the ones who are truly emotionally mature can stick to these traits and those who are on their paths to being emotionally mature can learn from these well laid out points. 🙏👌🙌
This video kinda helped me self reflect on things. At times, we might be aware of certain things such as sticking to our beliefs and opinions is important, but we might fail to "actually realize" these things on a daily basis.
1. Self-understanding 2. Awareness of our mind, and be cautious of our conclusion and assertion. 3. Recognize the unfaithfulness ally of our conscious mind for the sake of self-discovery. How much do we want to know about ourselves? And How much do we do not want to know about ourselves. 4. We know that one day we will die. Putting this in everyday practice and not just for the sake of greater appreciation. 5. Humor, we are a fool, now, before, and tomorrow. 6. We would shed our pride. 7. We acknowledge the mind when we are in despair simply we need time to ourselves. 8. We respect the art of diplomacy, and politeness. Acknowledge that the other person would be as much hurt as we are. 9. We would use language as to communicate what is at play with us. We would not hold it against them simply because they did not understand us. We should never shy away from teaching and learning. 10. We would realize how much another individual long for warmth and reassurance. 11. We would acknowledge that it is impossible to be like or please by everyone. We would be able to be frank to avoid it being drawn out. 12. We are free of the idea of being strange. We have one life and we have the courage to be the odd ball. 13. We would find our own path on this quest to emotionally mature.
In short, being emotionally mature means having your own opinions on things no matter how contradictory to the rest of the world but still being polite enough not to offend other people "
Ideally, it would be best taught in the home, from parents to their children. But some of it can't be taught--it develops from time and life experiences.
you need to pair emotional competence with understanding, refining and submitting to a normative standard, belief in objective truth/morality. otherwise what is it in use for.
I think it just depends on your experience.Emotional intelligence is developed through experiences so the less experienced you are the likely your emotional intelligence will be high.Also, trust plays a major part,a person will not be vulnerable around someone they don’t trust
Some of this will be easier to apply right away than other pieces of advice. It will take some hard life lessons, age and a little bit of wisdom for it to really sink in for others. I know this all too well myself.
ah so according to this i'm supremely emotionally mature, yet i've never been in a close relationship, and i don't really know why. maybe my understanding is part of why i don't feel the need to engage in superficial connection with others, but there's also a part of me that is immature in other ways, that my more mature mind recognizes as being just that. i'm afraid this part of me is always going to interfere and never allow me to be the person want to, and feel like i could be. i probably also hold myself and others to unrealistically high standards, that i get anxious over not being able to reach. i only have these standards because i know i have reached them in the past though, i'm just constantly frustrated that i can't be my best self as often as i'd like to be. i've come to accept this a bit more over the years, but i still care too much to allow myself to really open up to new people, always thinking i'm just gonna disappoint them when they get to know me better. the worst part is that this almost always actually happens, it's not just some unfounded fear. my personality or set of strengths and weaknesses just doesn't seem suited to good relationships at all. something is seriously wrong with me probably, even if the thing that's wrong with me is always thinking that there's something wrong with me when there isn't. it doesn't really matter what they wanna call it, the outcome of it is that i'm entirely unable to form close emotional bonds with people. i either keep them at a distance, allow myself to be the fool and third wheel in every interaction, or push people away when i get to know them better. a lot of it can prbably be brought back to my parents, as always, but it's so engrained in me that i can't get rid of it anymore i don't think. kind of at a loss lately, even though in other ways i'm doing much better than some years ago
It’s weird that I can relate.. I’ve change since of so much pain.. until I lose myself. And I keep questioning why I’m acting like this?. I am also aware that I’m losing myself until I lost what I have before. And because of this, my depression is winning. I have to be heal and bring back my strength. I will still accept for who I am now, but want to be better and more mature. I wish I have my emotionally mature back.. and my Intelligence. It also got ruin bcs of sleep issue due to emotional distress etc. I just got very sad.. the despair.. too much pain, I can’t control it. Got mood swings, and so much anger. Just waiting for my life to end, and have a rest. I am reconnecting more with God rn, just be real with him. I hope this will end and I can think normally and much healthy. My mental health is bad. I really hope this can be fix. I’m having a mix emotions.
I hate lies and if i get betrayed by others is like I am so sad I can't even do anything at all it immobilized me but also I hate this because why do I give them too much power over me?
Well, I suppose theres two sides to look at. Yourself, and why you would stay or go. And what that means for who you are and what place you are at. I don’t need to tell you how devastating that experience is, but you need to think long and hard about what is really keeping you from going after something like that happening. And on the other side, question would be what was the underlying reason that she would seek to cheat? What kind of attachment style does she have, and is this actually something she would out genuine effort that makes progress into overcoming maladaptive mechanisms? Because that is not easy, people will give it lip service but pulling through is a hell of a battle, that most people fight to avoid in the first place. Its not easy to give up on relationships, especially when its become a big part of your life and emotions. It can feel like losing your future, your past, your most precious feelings and so much of oneself even. But you need to be with someone who will still respect you and love you, and try their absolute hardest to strive towards health in communication and relating when things get hard. Staying in a situation where that isn’t the case is bad for both parties involved. I don’t know if you’ll read all if this if not thats fine. There is always peace on the other side of the storm, and you will make it.
@fishsteak3246 We've been doing long-distance for a while now, with the plans to move in together in the near future. Her love language is physical touch. I might be sticking around due to attachment. My head and my heart are at battle. A part of me wants to show her that true love can be resilient and that you can know a person's mistakes and still love them. I want her to know that I truly see her and I'm still here. That's what my hearts says. On the other hand my head understands the challenges that come with sticking around. I'm really confused about how to move forward. I feel like giving up on this girl would be to kill the optimist in me.
@@akshaybalalee4804 Long distance is a rough one, I’ve been there. Do you know about attachment theory? Its different from love languages, but i think its pretty valuable knowledge to have generally. It helped me figure out a lot of stuff when I was going through troubles. Anyhow, with her love language, while its a totally normal thing to have that, instead of communicating that she was struggling with that she went for a maladaptive method of acquiring what she perceived as somethings she needed. That is a massive problem, and trust me, that needs to change for good. A secure, healthy person who genuinely is secure enough to love you and respect you properly will communicate and find a way through it through healthy, non destructive channels. But that is easier said than done, and unhealthy partners most of the time will tell you, maybe even with intent, that it’ll change, but actually sticking to that is not easy and often not followed through. I learned that the hard way. After forgiveness for something terrible, things went well for a while, he even looked like he was getting healthier mentally, but when things got rough the exact same problem came up again. You cannot fix someone, and it comes from a good, noble place to want to show someone strong love and get through anything. One thing I had to learn was unconditional love is only healthy when its between a parent and child. For our sakes as well as our partners we need to have truly deserved, boundaried and healthy love. And some people are just not in the right place for that. And it’s on them to be there, its not your job nor can you ever make someone a truly secure, healthy partner. Even with all of the love in the world thrown at them, it won’t make a difference unless they’re willing to fight and overcome their personal baggage to be a healthy partner. Yeah, its easy to feel your optimism fly out he window after going through that, i went through that hard. But that feeling won’t last forever. Because there is health and a lot of growing that can come out of these situations. For me, it was realising it was not giving up in the relationship, it was seeing he would never fix his problems if i just became a safety net and forgave everything. That leaving was the only way for us to grown from this. It was admitting something had broken, especially the trust. But that through the most painful experiences we learn so much about ourselves, that is the biggest opportunity to grow. When we’re exposed to our shadows, the parts of ourselves we don’t want to see and reject.
Call me dumb, but this felt too abstract for me to have it hold my attention, especially the video. Or was it the whole tangent my brain went on considering kindness to the little, winged stinger, then forgiveness and then the lack of acknowledgment that the 🐝 went off to die, having left its sting in the person.
I've watched many great school life videos but this is not one of them. it begins by instilling defeat in its viewers. then it continues to use the past future tense to mock them: "if you had become emotionally mature, these are the things you would've realized". it lists aphorisms that hold no substance, are incredibly abstract, and offers no practical solutions that activates the viewers. the pacing of this video also gives no room for the viewer to pause and reflect. if it were a written piece, it would be a bulleted list of unhelpful tautologies that are common knowledge.
@@David280GG Bless you mate! I hope we can all find our inner child. "It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child." /Picasso/
I just opened this video, I'm on 00:01, but I'm gonna guess it's: "letting go of the hurt you acquired as a little child and accepting the truly odd and weird aspects of your inner being."
"So do not ignore your emotions. Instead, recognize them, step back to make sure they are not overpowering your ability to act, and determine how you can channel them to act in a productive manner. If you are able to do this, you will become a master of emotional maturity."
Charlotte Maloney
Only kids and dogs act based on their emotions, also kids and dogs pee everywhere
@@fsadfasfd wise words
@@fsadfasfdYeah, you've never been in love. Or held a child of your in your arms. Or have been grateful to see another sunrise. Humans are far more subjective than they are objective. Not only intellectually but emotionally too. Emotions are part of our intelligence. Without them the species would have never survived, and they are a counterpart to our intellect. Both are good servants but poor masters. The truly intelligent never rely on one without consulting the other, and the truly wise master them both.
@@fsadfasfd Not remotely accurate.
Emotional dysregulation is a term used to describe an emotional response that is poorly regulated and does not fall within the traditionally accepted range of emotional reaction. It may also be referred to as marked fluctuation of mood, mood swings, or labile mood.
@@fsadfasfdthought leads to feeling. Feeling leads to action. In reality, we all act based on our emotions.
In summary, we would:
1) Strive to know ourselves better
2) Be humble in our opinions and assertions, because self-knowledge is difficult to attain
3) Be mindful that this is because our conscious minds are easily distracted and prone to denial, and thus not very good at accessing unconscious parts of ourselves
4) Frequently remind ourselves of our mortality and use it as a source of focus, appreciation, and courage in daily life
5) Be aware that everyone, including ourselves, is often a bit silly
6) Be comfortable with our fallibility while having reasonable faith in our competence
7) Be conscious that our thoughts and feelings can be influenced by our physiological states (e.g. hunger, sleep deprivation)
8) Respect the importance of politeness, and strive to be considerate of other people
9) Nonetheless learn to express our inner thoughts and feelings accurately rather than expecting people to read our minds
10) Offer people warmth and reassurance freely
11) Accept that we will not be liked by everyone, and stop people pleasing
12) Feel reasonably comfortable about not always conforming to people's expectations
13) Take our boredom seriously
14) Aren't able to recite this list ever
Brilliant summary. Thank you ❤
Brilliant summary. Thank you ❤
Thank-you for taking the time to make this summary, it really is helpful. I got a question...
How do we take our boredom seriously though? Could you suggest some practical ways please?
Thanks. please do summary of part two as well.....
"I was an idiot yesterday, I am an idiot today, and I will be an idiot tomorrow."
Thank you for the new mantra, I shall use it daily.
Only as long as you don't use it to beat yourself up. From a healthy place its a good one.
Your words have power. This is not a mantra to repeat to yourself EVER.
What does this even mean 💀
@@David280GG Stay humble.
I like how the video says it's okay to be weird and not everyone has to like you. It's hard to remember sometimes, but it's a good thing to keep in mind.
After watching this series for years, I definitely feel closer to being emotionally mature than I did before
I'm just grateful that every week I have the privilege of having one of your videos. It make me feel there is always hope and a glimpse of optimism despite of how difficult life, love and living is. Or better: that I am not alone.
Excellently stated. I agree with you. 😊
Thank you School of Life for being my third parent.
What a beautiful comment.❤
Who else is secretly in love with the narrator's voice?
It's not a secret for you Sakina, only for those who liked the comment 😝
@@Sylar-451haha right, I broke my secret ❤🎉
🤫🤫🤫
The amount of people who need to see this video is astonishing.
I have been watching the School of life since many many years now, and the knowledge which you and your entire team has imparted has had a huge impact on my life and I want to thank-you and pray for your and your team that you guys can be safe and healthy and make many more of these life changing videos which makes us stop and think for a minute, making us look inward. Wishing you all a very happy New Year 2024!
"We wouldn't hold it against them that they didn't understand things we had never bothered to teach them."
Wisest thing I've heard in a while.
I'm in a relationship where sometimes I feel too lost in understanding if the things I say and do are really that much stupid. I feel like I get many things wrong and I feel my partner can't be really satisfied.
This makes me wonder that perhaps, unconsciously, I can make her feel the same and that she's somewhat trying to understand me too.
From now on I feel I can be more forgiving with myself for not knowing everything before I learn it and more forgiving with her too when I feel she's not getting what I consider the basics.
Thanks for the blessing, hope everyone's enjoying life as it is.
This chanel makes me a better person and also makes me love to do so
*channel
Thank you for helping me becoming the person I needed as a child 🤗
So funny, I was going to scroll past this video, but the video below had a woman pointing at this one so I stopped and went back 😅.
I really needed this video at this very moment. I just got back from work, finally had a chance to wind down, and I got wrote up for asking for advice from coworkers among other things of the sort, and I went to the bathroom and cried. They made me feel so bad about myself…I kept a calm, steady demeanor when they spoke to me, apologized, one of them didn’t even want to look me in the face during the conversation :,(. He kept an umbrella between us. I left, walked to my car holding in tears, then got in and sat in silence.
I’m going to go into my last shift of the week tomorrow and in the end resign :,). I don’t have issues with expressing myself nor embarrassment. Why would I want to stay in an environment I will constantly feel insecure in! Although, you have to still keep a clear mind, and act respectfully. No matter if they make u cry! Some may see it as a negative thing for me to quit 🤷♀️ I trust myself, I am able to flourish elsewhere and that’s what this video needed to remind me ♥️.
This is one of the most important things that society (and individuals) could benefit from as it hopefully becomes more widespread.
After 23 years of depression, anxiety, undiagnosed ADHD and short stay in the looney bin, my life is actually worth living and largely enjoyable now thanks to learning, building, and maintaining my mental wellbeing.
Now I'm even writing a novel on it in hope that it will help others avoid the rabbit holes of an untrained mind in a chaotic world.
I would like to read about it one day.
Super grateful to be able to watch these videos. This channel has truly bettered me as a human being.
Thank you, truly.
That's beautiful.
That's beautiful.
That's beautiful.
Thanks 🙏🏾. This is something I really need consciously work on and develop.
What a lovely animation!❤ Kudos to your team.
This video came at the perfect time. I always struggled with being calm then switching to blind rage… this helped me understand the deeper dynamics within myself and other people. Great work, School of Life🦋✨
Thank you for another wise, calming, eminently useful video. I'm so grateful to have found SOL.
Being emotionally mature is to deal with your emotions effectively, maintain healthy relationships, and be adaptive to change.
Emotional intelligence very important.
Wow
I feel that(emotionally intelligent)
Most important
Especially today. Something AI will never replicate but AI can be replicated, easily.
Yes
Would also like to add one more characteristic... the recognition that 99.999% of people around you don't give a rats ass about emotional maturity and, therefore, lowering one's expectations of finding others respectful and appreciative of your journey is a given.
I think that percentage is likely far too high, but assume it's to say the majority, and that most people haven't learnt how important it is in their own lives and how it effects others.
But totally agree it's a good idea to lower ones expectations of finding it in others.
Also personally I find it helpful to not judge others too quickly if they appear to have low EQ, often it can be low in relation to a small number of ideals they hold, but high with the rest.
And if you can find a way to get them to understand their lack of consistent logic or rationality between the opposing ideals, it can do a world of good for many
That is such an interesting comment that connects wuth something that i observed but couldn't really understand yet how to work out in situ. i would love for you to expand on that ❤ maybe if you can give a practical way you would communicate that to this type of person and then according to their response how you would then carry yourself ❤ thank you so much if you take the time 🤍
I think emotional intelligence is a journey. If someone sees it as a goal to be 'reached,' it may not reflect emotional maturity. Self-understanding comes from both introspection and an openness to life. It's okay to make mistakes and learn from them-give yourself grace, then move on. Our emotions are powerful and can teach us a lot about ourselves. Keep healing, getting to know the intricate parts of your deeper self! Who knows, perhaps you might find yourself. ♡
Excellent, as always. I happen to have advanced degrees and enjoy all of that stuff in my big brain that allows me to have fun with frontal lobe dynamics. Human beings are, however, social creatures, which is why I have believed for a long time that emotional intelligence is infinitely more important than intellectual intelligence. I think Einstein understood this, which explains why he quite literally shifted some paradigms with that whole "space/time" thing, but was also a great humanitarian. Thank you yet again School of Life. I really appreciate you all and your very important work. : )
You seem really obsessed with your own accomplishments...
It comes across as #NavelGazingEgotism and #narcissism.
Not good.
@LoveEarthHereAndNow Psycho says what? Um, I re-read my post and saw that I wrote, "I happen to have advanced degrees." I also said some other stuff, but I "like" how you not only noticed that but took the time to write something that can only be interpreted as an attempt to "put me in my place." If I had a dollar for every time an "alternative person" going by the name of "Bean Sprout" or "LoveEarthHereAndNow" eventually showed themselves to be passive aggressive control freaks, I would be a wealthy woman indeed. I have the great fortune of living in Kealakekua, Hawaii of "little grass shack" fame. You can't throw a rock around here and not hit a passive aggressive "hippie" wearing bodhi beads and, perhaps, an ohm tattoo or whatever who is in actuality running from something or someone in his or her past. You can run to Hawaii from Michigan or whatever and change your name to Bean Sprout or whatever, but you will still be Debbie or whatever from Michigan, and there is nothing whatsoever wrong with tha. Maybe try making peace with Debbie or whatever, and your supposed desire for "peace" might be more real. From where I stand, your "peace" feels rather oppressive. Also, people who live in glass houses should probably not throw stones. Duh. Aloha.
*that
I also happen to be a former English teacher who values precision in words. I also value authenticity above all else in the human experience. Be Here Now indeed.
What advanced degrees?
@Zalk00000 I have a Master's Degree in English Literature and am ABD (all requirements except the dissertation) on a PhD in English Literature that I chose not to complete when my husband, daughter, and I moved to Hawaii in 2010. No regrets. : ) My "subject position," meaning my critical bias, was psychoanalytic criticism. I have, therefore, read all or at least many of the "heavy hitters" in the fields of psychology and psychoanalysis, including Freud, Jung, and their descendants. I also read a lot of philosophy and mythology. Nietzche and Joseph Campbell are the bomb. I also enjoy physics. Albert Einstein is a personal hero of mine for many reasons. So there you have it. I think I said previously that I live in Hawaii. Aloha. : )
Thank you!
Thank you! Happy New Year!
Very well done. Thank you.❤
I feel like the Internet has needed this for a long time
But then again, I guess most of us have realised that by now
Thank you ❤
please consider changing your endings so the video doesn’t become so buried and smothered by other things! it’s very hard to keep focused on it once you do this. thanks
💯
Thank you School of Life for laying all of these complex corollaries so articulately so that the ones who are truly emotionally mature can stick to these traits and those who are on their paths to being emotionally mature can learn from these well laid out points. 🙏👌🙌
The narrators voice and the animation are perfect.
This video kinda helped me self reflect on things. At times, we might be aware of certain things such as sticking to our beliefs and opinions is important, but we might fail to "actually realize" these things on a daily basis.
So calming and comforting
Thank you for the new year’s gift!
I just received a book on this subject and yal have great timing
The emotionally mature person I am today thanks the 9 year old little girl I was that had to co-process my mom's emotions during trauma.
this is really reassuring for me, and goes to show that the mindset of 'perfectionism' is kind of the opposite of emotional maturity. wow
Awesome video. Please continue also the philosophy and literature playlists. Do Victor Hugo next
1. Self-understanding
2. Awareness of our mind, and be cautious of our conclusion and assertion.
3. Recognize the unfaithfulness ally of our conscious mind for the sake of self-discovery. How much do we want to know about ourselves? And How much do we do not want to know about ourselves.
4. We know that one day we will die. Putting this in everyday practice and not just for the sake of greater appreciation.
5. Humor, we are a fool, now, before, and tomorrow.
6. We would shed our pride.
7. We acknowledge the mind when we are in despair simply we need time to ourselves.
8. We respect the art of diplomacy, and politeness. Acknowledge that the other person would be as much hurt as we are.
9. We would use language as to communicate what is at play with us. We would not hold it against them simply because they did not understand us. We should never shy away from teaching and learning.
10. We would realize how much another individual long for warmth and reassurance.
11. We would acknowledge that it is impossible to be like or please by everyone. We would be able to be frank to avoid it being drawn out.
12. We are free of the idea of being strange. We have one life and we have the courage to be the odd ball.
13. We would find our own path on this quest to emotionally mature.
Peace can feel like boredom, to a nervous system that hasn't known peace.
I'm working on it and it's getting closer
It's a lifelong journey, not a fixed destination.
Stunning animations! And a poignant message as always
"Reflex oralism." That's a good one. Really speaks to the herd/sheep mentality so prevalent amongst humankind.
*moralism
Emotional maturity is when you live everyday as if it is your last!
Thank you for these videos helps.me.a lot to understand more of myself and how can it adversely affect my surroundings
Brilliant 🤍
This is pretty much stoicism ❤
I feel like most of these are❤
I think in some ways, emotional intelligence is how you respond to a person who tries to turn the whole world against you for no reason.
In short, being emotionally mature means having your own opinions on things no matter how contradictory to the rest of the world but still being polite enough not to offend other people "
Content like this at the book Atomic Habits need to become standard fare for the education system.
Ideally, it would be best taught in the home, from parents to their children. But some of it can't be taught--it develops from time and life experiences.
THANK YOU
No compromise.
you need to pair emotional competence with understanding, refining and submitting to a normative standard, belief in objective truth/morality. otherwise what is it in use for.
I think it just depends on your experience.Emotional intelligence is developed through experiences so the less experienced you are the likely your emotional intelligence will be high.Also, trust plays a major part,a person will not be vulnerable around someone they don’t trust
I think what you meant is that: "the less experienced you are, the LESS likely your emotional intelligence will be high."
Some of this will be easier to apply right away than other pieces of advice. It will take some hard life lessons, age and a little bit of wisdom for it to really sink in for others. I know this all too well myself.
ah so according to this i'm supremely emotionally mature, yet i've never been in a close relationship, and i don't really know why. maybe my understanding is part of why i don't feel the need to engage in superficial connection with others, but there's also a part of me that is immature in other ways, that my more mature mind recognizes as being just that. i'm afraid this part of me is always going to interfere and never allow me to be the person want to, and feel like i could be. i probably also hold myself and others to unrealistically high standards, that i get anxious over not being able to reach. i only have these standards because i know i have reached them in the past though, i'm just constantly frustrated that i can't be my best self as often as i'd like to be.
i've come to accept this a bit more over the years, but i still care too much to allow myself to really open up to new people, always thinking i'm just gonna disappoint them when they get to know me better. the worst part is that this almost always actually happens, it's not just some unfounded fear. my personality or set of strengths and weaknesses just doesn't seem suited to good relationships at all. something is seriously wrong with me probably, even if the thing that's wrong with me is always thinking that there's something wrong with me when there isn't.
it doesn't really matter what they wanna call it, the outcome of it is that i'm entirely unable to form close emotional bonds with people. i either keep them at a distance, allow myself to be the fool and third wheel in every interaction, or push people away when i get to know them better. a lot of it can prbably be brought back to my parents, as always, but it's so engrained in me that i can't get rid of it anymore i don't think. kind of at a loss lately, even though in other ways i'm doing much better than some years ago
I feel this too.. I wish you could hug me or I can hug , virtually haha
It’s weird that I can relate.. I’ve change since of so much pain.. until I lose myself. And I keep questioning why I’m acting like this?. I am also aware that I’m losing myself until I lost what I have before. And because of this, my depression is winning. I have to be heal and bring back my strength. I will still accept for who I am now, but want to be better and more mature. I wish I have my emotionally mature back.. and my Intelligence. It also got ruin bcs of sleep issue due to emotional distress etc. I just got very sad.. the despair.. too much pain, I can’t control it. Got mood swings, and so much anger. Just waiting for my life to end, and have a rest. I am reconnecting more with God rn, just be real with him. I hope this will end and I can think normally and much healthy. My mental health is bad. I really hope this can be fix. I’m having a mix emotions.
"Reflect upon the Past.
Embrace your Present.
Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis (DD3)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
can you make a video on how to be better at receiving gifts or compliments "for no reason"?
Emotions are not always reasonable
Thoughts on Ayn Rand?
This is what the Internet should be for
IMO you can not reach emotional maturity until you learn self love
If everyone could reach emotional maturity narcissism would go extinct ❤
🌻🌻
This sounds like a description of a stoic.
10 comes at a cost. Many people will try taking advantage of your kindness....
I hate lies and if i get betrayed by others is like I am so sad I can't even do anything at all it immobilized me but also I hate this because why do I give them too much power over me?
Great insights on what would happen if we are emotionally mature. BUT how to reach there 😢
A lot of it takes time and life experience.
❤
I'm almost there😅
I'm confused!
Emotional fitness is perhaps a better term? ;-)
⚡❤🙏🏼
How can I volunteer to translate captions?
Crazy how all of these things are basically stoic philosophy. They figured it all ojt 2000 years ago!
Yeah iam Not very mature and Kind of helpless with my emotions :(
Don't give up. Just watching the video is a step in the right direction.
Present
It is hard to apply emotional intelligence with regard to my year 9 English teacher… impossible to the kid who got through year 10
?
How is being in despair over orange juice emotionally mature?
So, essentially, we are all in various degrees of emotional immaturity? Well, it is both comforting and scary at the same time.
It is what it is. 🤷
I like being an odd ball😅
How to stop doughnuts in your manhood?
Should I give forgive my girlfriend for cheating on me? I still love her, but I'm hurt by her actions.
Well, I suppose theres two sides to look at. Yourself, and why you would stay or go. And what that means for who you are and what place you are at. I don’t need to tell you how devastating that experience is, but you need to think long and hard about what is really keeping you from going after something like that happening.
And on the other side, question would be what was the underlying reason that she would seek to cheat?
What kind of attachment style does she have, and is this actually something she would out genuine effort that makes progress into overcoming maladaptive mechanisms? Because that is not easy, people will give it lip service but pulling through is a hell of a battle, that most people fight to avoid in the first place.
Its not easy to give up on relationships, especially when its become a big part of your life and emotions. It can feel like losing your future, your past, your most precious feelings and so much of oneself even. But you need to be with someone who will still respect you and love you, and try their absolute hardest to strive towards health in communication and relating when things get hard. Staying in a situation where that isn’t the case is bad for both parties involved.
I don’t know if you’ll read all if this if not thats fine. There is always peace on the other side of the storm, and you will make it.
@fishsteak3246 We've been doing long-distance for a while now, with the plans to move in together in the near future. Her love language is physical touch.
I might be sticking around due to attachment. My head and my heart are at battle. A part of me wants to show her that true love can be resilient and that you can know a person's mistakes and still love them. I want her to know that I truly see her and I'm still here. That's what my hearts says.
On the other hand my head understands the challenges that come with sticking around.
I'm really confused about how to move forward. I feel like giving up on this girl would be to kill the optimist in me.
@@akshaybalalee4804 Long distance is a rough one, I’ve been there.
Do you know about attachment theory? Its different from love languages, but i think its pretty valuable knowledge to have generally. It helped me figure out a lot of stuff when I was going through troubles.
Anyhow, with her love language, while its a totally normal thing to have that, instead of communicating that she was struggling with that she went for a maladaptive method of acquiring what she perceived as somethings she needed. That is a massive problem, and trust me, that needs to change for good. A secure, healthy person who genuinely is secure enough to love you and respect you properly will communicate and find a way through it through healthy, non destructive channels.
But that is easier said than done, and unhealthy partners most of the time will tell you, maybe even with intent, that it’ll change, but actually sticking to that is not easy and often not followed through. I learned that the hard way. After forgiveness for something terrible, things went well for a while, he even looked like he was getting healthier mentally, but when things got rough the exact same problem came up again.
You cannot fix someone, and it comes from a good, noble place to want to show someone strong love and get through anything. One thing I had to learn was unconditional love is only healthy when its between a parent and child. For our sakes as well as our partners we need to have truly deserved, boundaried and healthy love. And some people are just not in the right place for that.
And it’s on them to be there, its not your job nor can you ever make someone a truly secure, healthy partner. Even with all of the love in the world thrown at them, it won’t make a difference unless they’re willing to fight and overcome their personal baggage to be a healthy partner.
Yeah, its easy to feel your optimism fly out he window after going through that, i went through that hard. But that feeling won’t last forever. Because there is health and a lot of growing that can come out of these situations.
For me, it was realising it was not giving up in the relationship, it was seeing he would never fix his problems if i just became a safety net and forgave everything. That leaving was the only way for us to grown from this. It was admitting something had broken, especially the trust. But that through the most painful experiences we learn so much about ourselves, that is the biggest opportunity to grow. When we’re exposed to our shadows, the parts of ourselves we don’t want to see and reject.
Call me dumb, but this felt too abstract for me to have it hold my attention, especially the video. Or was it the whole tangent my brain went on considering kindness to the little, winged stinger, then forgiveness and then the lack of acknowledgment that the 🐝 went off to die, having left its sting in the person.
The reason could be that you're not a visual learner. I had some difficulty following it, so I also read the transcript of the video.
I've watched many great school life videos but this is not one of them. it begins by instilling defeat in its viewers. then it continues to use the past future tense to mock them: "if you had become emotionally mature, these are the things you would've realized". it lists aphorisms that hold no substance, are incredibly abstract, and offers no practical solutions that activates the viewers. the pacing of this video also gives no room for the viewer to pause and reflect. if it were a written piece, it would be a bulleted list of unhelpful tautologies that are common knowledge.
I just read the transcript in the comments and it's even written as a list!
Just before I saw your comment I thought this one was missing the mark and I was about to click off. He doesn't make many duds.
@@jennyxingWhich I found to be helpful
Trying to speedrun frontal lobe development by watching this
I will be never mature enough.
So what?
I hope you have a good life 😭
@@David280GG Bless you mate! I hope we can all find our inner child.
"It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child." /Picasso/
When illness is prolonged from a young age to adulthood
I'm emotionally mature? Weird
No u
2:53 Top 10 betrayals in anime
Ughhhhhh it's so complicated
Not really. It just takes time, patience and life experience.
the opposite of western culture, US, europe, Australia...
I just opened this video, I'm on 00:01, but I'm gonna guess it's: "letting go of the hurt you acquired as a little child and accepting the truly odd and weird aspects of your inner being."
That's not what it said. It's good. Watch the whole thing.
I'm not watching this vid, and you can't make me!
You are missing out.
Isn't this just stocism
emotional damage!
What is this fixation on orange juice? Just drink water, for god’s sake
Besides, good video and reminders
The idea was that your blood sugar is low, not that you're simply thirsty.
@@camez2345 I was being silly. But thanks , I didn’t get the point about low blood sugar