You Deserve to be Seen, Loved, and Acknowledged... But It Starts With You | Mel Robbins
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ก.ย. 2024
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I have spent the last 40 years of my life either criticizing myself or ignoring myself.
How sad is that?
I bet a lot of you can relate.
You NEED to start cheering for yourself. And the High 5 Habit is the perfect way to do it.
You can watch the full version of this amazing conversation I had with Lisa Bilyeu on @LisaBilyeu at / womenofimpact
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Loving yourself is the best way to live your life!
How
Listen to yourself, your wants, your basic needs, care about yourself.
i don't deserve it
But how? How do I love myself when I don’t? When I can’t even feel the “love” people say they have for me because I don’t love myself, I can’t love myself, and I don’t know how to. Maybe I don’t want to? Or don’t think I deserve to? But that is true, I don’t, I don’t deserve to be loved or love myself, but even if I did, I wouldn’t know how to. Because most people around me hate me too, but that’s just because I deserve their hate.
Every single time I begin to feel crappy, a Mel video pops up?! LOL I will take it as a sign to stop feeling crappy and start to live my life. ;-)
I love that this is the top comment as I look at this...and my name is also Marcus. "LOL I will take it as a sign to stop feeling crappy and start to live my life. ;-)" HEARD LOUD AND CLEAR!!
Supporting you
I felt pretty heard just because this successful woman understands men's side of this just as well as her own side.
The high five habit is life-changing. Mel I am such a fan of your work. Thank you for all that you do. We appreciate you! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼✋🏼
i have just started to celebrate myself, every step of the way, every "little" win, is actually a massive win, i feel. all thanks to how Mel talks to us, i took a lot of what she said, very personally, started to create & follow my life long dream, it has had to be altered a little. but the dream is the same - only now i have created my platform, and i am finding the courage to create, aspire, and just be me. thank you Mel, you will never know how much your support the past couple of years means to me, it has given me the courage to find my voice, and start communicating - in a blog and yt channel. A MASSIVE THANKYOU, big love to you. :)
Same here 🙌🏾
and even if there is no "win" at all you should celebrate yourself
Ïwow thank u!! This is so true!!
@@StephanieTips every step of the way, yes.
I don't see them as little win more like victories, accolade or achievements.
Oh my time is coming I am going to be like a sparkler I'm going to shine in every direction I am so thankful for the heart that God has blessed me with it is like no other glory to God
“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.”
"Don't brag about yourself", "be seen, not heard", "be the good one", definitely the messages received growing up. My family members tell a story about how I started talking at 9 months and I was never quiet. I'm not sure what happened. I won't tell anyone my birthdate because I hate the attention.
I'm a guy and I expected hard work and talent to show and people will notice. It does not. You have to be selfish in life and demand others treat you with respect and celebrate yourself. I haven't had a birthday party since i was 14. I just felt ashamed and never interested because I thought people would want to know that about myself. We have to celebrate ourselves, and criticize ourselves. We must make ourselves a better version of ourselves. Nieztche goes into this in his ubermensch idea. Its why I force myself to go to the gym, and why I love living in cold climates. We learn about ourselves when we physically struggle.
Mirror work is huge! I did Louise Hay's 21-day mirror work challenge. That was definitely a start of self love.
You are a gift, Mel. I asked my child self to chat with my adult self and she did not criticize me the way my adult self does. There is a lot we can bring to ourselves if we give up on believing it has to come from outside. And that myth that you should never call attention to yourself, that is so destructive. We need to be our own cheerleader and take sustenance! How sick that we were taught to undervalue ourselves. Thanks, Mel for all the wisdom and caring you contribute to the world.
Nice confirmation! I just started brushing my teeth with my non dominant hand and telling myself, I love you, I forgive you, you are enough. Also, started with, "Thank you God, Thank you Jesus, Thank you HS." every morning before lifting my head from my pillow and it's really true, you CAN'T be sad when you're giving thanks bc they both come from the same part of our brain! **really thrilled about this confirmation!
0:30. why is it so shocking to women that men feel unworthiness as well? Thank you Mel, for including us as well. It’s so refreshing hearing that.
Yaaaaaas!!! So important to celebrate along the way. And celebrate yourself. Most of us are loooonging for someone to say "great job!" When I noticed I was longing for this, I started telling it to myself. It started in my mind, then I started saying it out loud. It has changed my life. Thank you Mel.
Omg I struggle so bad with saying nice things about myself. I've flown under the radar from abusive people for so long that I have a weird fear response about taking credit for things.
Without action, self-belief can fizzle out. Positive affirmations are motivational, but they need to be followed by concrete steps. You hit the nail on the head - you can't just talk yourself into success.
I’ve heard your high 5 suggestion many times and have always thought it was silly. My core issue is worthiness. I don’t deserve celebration is 100% me. I know it stems from repeatedly being given the message that I do not matter. Starting with being sexually abused by my grandfather from infancy to adolescence. Thrown to the wolf by my grandmother who looked the other way rather than protect me. My parents divorced when I was 11 and they used my brother and I as pawns and weapons to hurt each other. Two date rapes in college and a marriage of 20 years to a man, that was a cold, distant workaholic. Now I am unable to work in my career as an RN after multiple poisonings by the antibiotic Cipro, I’m barely able to walk, but I don’t even feel worthy of seeking disability. I’ve definitely broken the cycle and find purpose in life, loving and caring for others. I crave deep connection and I’m a positive person but I don’t know if I’ll ever feel worthy. I’m gonna try your silly high 5-ing. What do I have to lose?
And today for the first time, in a long time, I greeted myself in the mirror and it was a extra-sensorial experience! First I've cried acknowledging my trajectory and then I smiled and felt beautiful and strong and ready for more! 💪🏻✨💝
YES! YOU are worth celebrating...especially by YOU.
Very timely and meeded. I love how when I feel or do something "wrong" a video of this amazing woman pops up. Like the universe is saying watch this to be better!!!
Do you know what is the most incredible thing to me about watching this video? This is the second time I hear Mel talking about the high-five validation, but the first time I watched the video (it was another one), right after she mentioned this gesture I automatically imagined that if I did that every morning I'd have felt like I would have been looking forward to it and, believe me or not, 2 seconds later she said that she was how she felt. So I am really surprised by how my mind works (!), by the human brain and by Mel's mission to improve people's life also through scientific researches. Keep up the good work!
What a powerful message! It's mind-blowing! I thought I didn't deserve celebration or love . I was told I had to be quiet, and do what they told me to do.
Im confident im empowered i have an incredible sense of purpose to get this part started.
Hello,
Thank you, good job!
“You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.” - Brian Tracy
Louise Hay taught me about mirror work back in the 1980s.
What a special lady , she passed over 2017 At 90 years young.
RIP Louise Hay, we will never forget you.
Mel Robbins is just a wonderful human being ❤ I'm grateful for all her help. She's the real deal
Here are my 10 extra tips to INCREASE your daily manifestations that I’ve learned over the years..👇🏾
1. Practice gratitude every morning. When you wake up, list everything that you are grateful for and feel that gratitude in your core. Feel free to write things down in a journal so it is easy for you to remember.
2. Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. Every time you feel a negative thought coming on, make a positive spin on it right away.
3. Take ownership for things that happen in your life. It's easy to blame others however you will feel much better when you realize that most issues stem from us.
4. ALWAYS believe that good things are about to happen. By being open to new possibilities you are inviting abundance into your life.
5. Remember that like attracts like so you get back whatever you put out, whether it is good or bad. So do good AND received good.
6. Meditate for five minutes a day. During this time focus on how you want your life to be; but place your focus on how you feel AND feel that feeling as if you have already accomplished those goals.
7. Step outside of your comfort zone. Stop playing it safe and make that decision to finally go for your dreams.
8. Focus on activities that make you feel truly happy. When you are truly happy you have the best vibrational frequency to manifest your desires.
9. Avoid the naysayers and surround yourself with people who only lift you higher. Downers will be downers, don't let them drag you into their misery.
10. Don't be afraid to dream and know that you are always supported by the universe.
Hope this helps!
- Your Friendly Neighborhood Coach ❤
Thank you so much for this.
Thanks coach! A lot of these tips are things that have helped me before. I am learning to put them together.
Great!! All the best !
Everything you said is so true! I'm going to try to start high-fiving myself everyday :)
OMG please let me know how it goes for you!
Thank you so much? I miss watching you on TV, I am so glad you are still encouraging us on TH-cam thank you
HEY EVERYONE! This works, in early recovery I did something very similar with a daily raised hand yoga pose. I do it daily for further goals and I guide others to do the same, DAILY AND WITH MEANING, OWN IT! Best wishes and practices to us all!
Thanks Mel! You were the first person to tell me you loved me today (in the email that sent me to this video)! I know my family does, even though they haven't said it. Made a tear come to my eye, thanks for the love! I really appreciate it. Right back at you!! I'm going to start reading the High FIve Habit!
Just got the High 5 book and am excited to celebrate myself! I'm already practicing just high 5ing myself in the morning when I can remember, and even though it feels really silly right now, it DOES raise my vibe! 🤩❤
You're so right Mel, I'm going to save and share this video as everyone needs to hear this message! I've spent my life feeling invisible, unheard and misunderstood in different ways and I certainly didn't feel as though I should be celebrating me! But You're right we all deserve to be celebrated and we all need hear it from others but most of all from ourselves ❤
Beautiful message Mel! with so much strength and so much sensitivity!! Thanks a lot!!
I think it shows that heart and strength can go together. Mel seemed to me very strong yet still vulnerable and very deep in her heart. wow wow
I needed this, this morning. Thank you, Mel. Love you. You've made a big difference in my mental health, with your advice and strategies.
That makes me so happy to hear, I am so proud of you for putting in the work!
MELLLL thank you for continuing the fight in the face of your trials. You inspire me to keep fighting in the darkest days!
Thank you Mel for the High Five Habit!! I have just purchased the book and have done it in the mirror but not consistently but will work on it. Every time I have done it, I have noticed a MASSIVE energy change and it forces a smile on my face! I was waiting for someone to accept me and encourage me on where I was in life but I'm glad that yourself Mel and the habit itself is currently teaching me to be there for myself and not to bother waiting for my surroundings to pick me up! Brilliant! :D
Mel I love you so much. Thank you for sharing this information that I can feel even though youve researched it you fell in love with not just the research but with yourself. Thank you for opening our minds to the way it should be. Thank you for allowing yourself to be used in the field. And thank you for not only everything you know but for living it as well with you and your family. And I know it's tough and it can get annoying. But just remember. Every person has a message and many people are dying without being able to share theirs. So share yours as much as you can so people can have the hope to share theirs. Blessings.
True will try
Thank you for having Mel on your show! She changed my life❤️
Mel, you’ve ramped up your texts lately and your timing is impeccable! I just want to thank you for this and hope you continue to do so as this is one of many of the toughest times I’ve made it through. Just got to go through it…… again. I appreciate your wisdom and support! You go girl!
As someone who grew up in an unwelcoming abusive & violent environment, not only home & school but Earth. Mirrors showed me the face that people could so easily mistreat & abuse.
I generally don't care for Mel, but I have completely changed my attitude towards her. I noted at 0:25, Lisa wanted to make this conversation about "us women". Mel quickly and eloquently kept her topic on track. It's about everyone, not "us women".. Excellent speech Mel. I really enjoyed it.. Not "Us Men", but me. Thank you..
When I see Mel I'm proud of me being a woman. 💪
thank you thank you thank you for this
thankyou so much for sharing ur positive outlook on everything. i am not there yet and i am struggling a lot. Going through hard time. your advice gives me peace. GOD BLESS U MY DEAR.
I agreed with so much of this, especially that I can't celebrate unless I have a good enough reason to. Like I should be able to celebrate just being alive and even if I don't work in a regular job, I still contribute to my household. I do the groceries and I answer surveys for a living, basically. I don't bring in a regular paycheck, but I have a bunch of Amazon credit and Walmart credit that buys things we need. I do get checks sometimes, though. I am more or less a stay at home dad on disability and I get my direct deposit every month for that. Thanks Mel for the pep talk today. I need to recognize myself for what I do and not what I don't do.
I know of a man who could help you restore back your relationship either your ex or soulmate
He was the one who helped me in restoring back my ex partner three days ago without delay
Whtsaap him"**
I watch this over and over....so so good.
💯
Thanks Mel again..
Does it mel? I've been stripped of basic American rights surrounded by energy vampires and sociopaths trapping and preying on my angel soul I need your help Mel
Also, if you miss someone’s hand while trying to hi5 one another the second time you attempt - look at the other persons elbow and have them look at yours and you will always hit each other‘s hands! I challenge myself to look at very specific things that I would otherwise have been critical of like looking at the other person’s elbow and high-fiving myself anyway!!
I just got the High 5 book I’m so excited to start!!! Your videos have already started to change my thought process!! THANK YOU! Will check back when I’m done !!!
YOU ALWAYS BRING ME JOY
Thanks for sharing!
No one deserves love.
Love is a decision.
Love is a sacrificial gift.
If we deserved love, we should be able to demand it like a worker demands his wages from an employer.
When we understand that when someone loves us or we love someone, it is a sacrificial gift, only then can we appreciate love.
❤ THIS!
I love the title of this talk.This is really important and powerful words 🙌
Mel does it start with me? I could write a book on all of the inhumane and unethical treatment I've been victimized
Thank you so much Mel Robbins❤
*If you are reading this, never ever give up. We will succeed. I'm cheering for you!*
Have a great day! 🖤
Hi Mel, thank you so much for always sharing your life experiences and also empowering ourselves. This is so important! I feel different since I started hearing you. I'm really greatful and lots of thoughts that I had, I can see my mindset changing everyday now. 🙌🏻💞👏🏻
Great tips!
Thank you for your support
Of course!! That's what I'm here for
Incredible life tips here, thanks you very much 🙏
Thank You
Thank you Mel!!♥️♥️♥️
I find it hard to do positive affirmations in the mirror, but i might be able to do this. 🙂
Do it Erin, you deserve it!
You look beautiful in the picture!
Right on time message. I need to celebrate myself bc all my life my mom has never let me forget that I disappointed her by being a girl. She wanted a boy.
I am so sorry for that. You are the best thing that could happen to her. You are a woman, literally the womb of creation. I hope you will find peace. Sadly some people aren't ready to be parents.
@@TejubescDM Thank you for your kind words. I take her everywhere she wants and nerds to go and I also take care of her house as well as mine. Sadly she still doesn't accept me but I realize I only have to answer for myself and my actions. Be blessed and again thank you. Your kind words mean a lot to me ❤️
This is good!
For me, I'm relatively sure it's more a matter of humility. My ego doesnt much like the idea of the possibility of getting a big head. Which is odd, because the whole reason we dont high five ourselves naturally is the overhanging sense of "of COURSE you can get this"
Which then mentally equates it to be nothing to be celebrated. We are our own worst enemy.
This is powerful.
makes perfect sense, thank u Mel!
IT MIGHT HELP ME REMEBER WHEN I WAS A BABY AND LOVED MY REFLECTION AGAIN
❤️Love this! Omggg I needed to hear this today ! ✨Goosebumps✨ Thank you so much Mel! Love and appreciate you dearly! xo🤗xo
0:30 thanks, we men have problems too, women are not the only ones in this fucking world, who has to deal with problems everyday. Just for that sentence I will buy right now your book. Thanks
i just want to be loved
You dont have to be in a glass lol its about inner beauty 😊
I dont deserve love and i know this because women keep telling me its entitled to think you deserve love, women keep getting angry with me when i say i deserve less than 0.01% of what they have in terms of love sex and dating, they say im an entitled man, which is particularly annyoing when they seem to think they deserve the hundreds of thosands of offers they get and im entitled for wanting 1 !
I needed this thank you☺️
I do validate myself im strong I can still be with my husband and respect him and love him and support him I love u darren stucker
Thanks, I’m cured. High five 🙌
I love you, Mel. I mean it.
I love you back!!
Raise yr non dominant hand to high five yr mirror 🪞 image & witness the increased confidence ...thanks for this video !
I just love this ❣️
Thankyou thankyou thankyou
I love you Mel!!
i rebuke my negative thoughts
I do that ALLLL the time!!!
When youre being shredded my witches warlocks pigs and backstabbers and you expect me to love myself at that point I chose to love God and that woman it felt right
I was bout to say its not just Women. Why do you think men suicide is through the roof? After a break up? After a job loss? After not getting that promotion working your ass off for a company for 5 Plus years. Men have ALOT of pain that they don't show on the surface. That is the MAN thing to do. It is what is beat into us as kids growing up. Don't show your emotions don't be a whimp. Don't Don't don't. It took me almost 6 months to break down and cry after my dad passed away in 2019. The first thing i felt after was shame. MY PARENTS didn't beat that into me. Society did. What I was told PEOPLE expected and wanted out of men did. What it would take to get that job and to land that amazing woman i want to be with. Crazy. I am 33 years old and I still do this day cannot look in the mirror and not just shake my head.
I am so sorry. I am female and my experience is different but I relate to the pain of suffocating yourself under societal expectations and hope society moves past this together ❤
Period
Happy to hear your healing Mel . But : why not do something with your hair and makeup . Be the best you can be !
It’s very hard for me to see myself….
💕💜🌈🌈💕thank you!!!
I think my dad is threatened by the confidence and support this has because he always tries to take both from me. I don't think I can get confidence and support myself while I'm talking to him. There is emotional abuse involved so I think I. Coming to the realization that all the issues he's been making seem like in the problem all along... It's his own personal problems he hasn't dealt with. He almost ruined the high five habit for me. Compeltlry he tried hard to and is still trying to.
Mels videos are brilliant, and I know for sure they absolutely do help many many people out there. However I need to be pointed toward someone who help me with my self worth issues, far far darker complex and deep seated than the average beautifulwith low self esteem. (or typical not that makes sense)
Are there any specific channels or websites worth taking a look at.?
I am indeed seeking treatment I just need something to get me by in the meantime on the list.
Thank u
Great advice! However “high five” is mostly an English speaking country culture….I did not grow up ever seeing and certainly doing “high fives” I wonder if there’s another gesture that can be used that is more international
I instinctively think one can use what resonates culturally. The key is building the neural pathway in the brain. Goodluck!
Same for me, i smile at myself in the mirror every day because high five doesn't resonate with me
Pick something that works for you :)
Don’t care for the foul language but they e is motivating
Thank you for bringing men into this. 😬