@jop23ify so if you rely on someone else you don't get the power to make your own decisions? Disabled adults who are perfectly capable of making rational decisions should just shut up and do whatever their loved ones say?
@@jop23ifyso she is mentally competent, & wants to NOT have to depend on her brother, & your take away is that she's "a loud mouth westerner"? You have a VERY skewed view of a person's right to automony
@@DeepikaGinger this entire show is built on hypocrisy. Every character in this show from the first season to the 20th is completely immature. They whinge and whine when something is being done to them, and then turn around and do that to other people without seeing how that could’ve affected them.
This is really about her and her partner. The person she's talking to. The two of them are in a relationship. Amelia's partner wants to move to Europe but Amelia wants to stay. It breaks them up eventually. They were talking about themselves not about the patient.
@@DeepikaGingeractually, I feel that is pretty on point that Amelia doesn't know shit about family dynamics since she didn't had any due to her past as a junkie
This episode hit on a crucial point when it comes to disabilities and the family dynamic. I have a friend who developed a form of cerebral palsy after a stroke at age 3. This limited his mobility. But this man, who is now in his fifties, was crippled by his family on a much deeper level than his physical disability ever could have. Instead of teaching him independence, they coddled and sheltered him to the point that he now needs someone to run his household, pay his bills and make sure he doesn’t eat canned peas for an entire month. Family “love”, even if it means well can be so smothering that it actually kills the soul of the very person they were trying to protect.
So true, and with cerebral palsy especially because people assume they have a mental disability because of their physical disabilities. I knew a 50+ woman who lived with her mother, who was the original helicopter parent. Her mother died, and the next time I saw her her younger adult brother was finally able to get her into adult educational and recreational programs and she absolutely blossomed.
@shells500tutubo I am so happy she was finally able to blossom. It’s often times just so tragic because families that mean well end up doing more harm than good while trying to “protect” their children or siblings. My friend has become crotchety and bitter and instead of getting out there and experiencing life he harbors great resentment towards his siblings who are now in charge of his trust. The problem is, they still try to not only coddle him but also to limit his activities, telling him where he can live, how he can spend his money and they berate him if he exhibits any independence from them. It infuriates me. To the point that often I will text in his place in their group chats unbeknownst to them but on his behalf because if he says the things that need to be said he will do so with so much vitriol that it backfires. I am able to articulate better what he wants to say without the venom and show them (albeit vicariously) that he has an independent mind and not only wants to be, but “is” an independent man.
And what would you know about caring for a completely dependant CHILD from an age where you should be able to start teaching them independence because of a devastating event? Nothing, I bet. 🤦♀️
@dmf1301 Quite a bit actually, but that is none of your business and hardly the point of any of this. Thank you however for your concern over my qualifications for expressing an opinion and bringing up an anecdotal situation that applies to the subject matter at hand. You were very helpful.
Brother was like this. When he lived in another town, he was confident, capable, almost a whole new person. Came back home and 2 weeks later was repressed and wasn't allowed independence and was back to his old ways.
My brother used to have a job "de-burring" those halos. He was always proud of the work he did in any job. But that job was extra special. Whenever I see them, it warms my heart. He passed 2 years ago, and this reminds me that his legacy will always continue.
As a disabled person - you cannot fix it for us, and it isn’t our responsibility to hold your hand while you learn that. I grew up literally learning that I had to spend so much time helping my parents mourn my diagnosis and what should have been that I never mourned it myself. Having family like that oftentimes feels worse than having the actual medical trauma.
The part about having to support family in mourning the disease you yourself have hits close to home. I got dx'd with T1D (the autoimmune variant) at 9 and nearly died multiple times, had to be on life support and what not. Diabetes kicked my ass throughout my teens to the point it got me disabled from the extensive nerve & organ damage. I went from healthy to being wheelchair and tubefeed dependent. I however was the one who always had to console my parents and prevent them from unaliving themselves or slipping into addiction because THEY felt bad for my health. Yet they simultaneously didn't allow me to grieve the health I no longer had. I was and still am fully independent, yet they acted like they were 24/7 caregivers. They ignored the fact that I was their emotional support pet who cleaned up their vomit after alcohol/drug binges every night, had to call them in sick for work, didn't have them show up for school, had to beg them to come to my graduation & schedule their doc appointments. Once I moved out at 23 yo it slowly dawned on me how emotionally neglected I was. Everything was about them grieving their child's health and being praised by others for "being such involved parents that support their sick child", yet there was no room for me to simply exist, grieve and process everything.
Some people just shouldn't be parents. I am not saying that I am much better. I have a daughter that has cerebral palsy. When she was born, we spent the whole like 2 days that we needed to be sad that she had cerebral palsy, and would not have a so called normal life, and decided it was time to get over it and live with the fact that she was exactly who God intended for her to be! Sure, I still get sad once in a while, but for years, "Early Steps" would come in and tell me this is where she should be, and I would argue that she was exactly where she was supposed to be, keep helping her be the best Kaylee she can be, she doesn't need to be the best Sarah or someone else that she can be! It pissed me off so badly when her teachers told her that she had cp and brain damage!
My family could only focus in how inconvenient was my disability. None of them are in my life anymore. Is not fair to make the life of the disabled person harder than what it already is.
It's so important to be helpful to loved ones who are in a bad situation, without being suffocating or too overbearing. From personal experience, being over-protective can sometimes make the person feel like they are in more of a cage than the actual illness/injury does.
Its the need to find a balance between loving and healping your disabled sibling and allowing them make their own decisions and calmly explaining your point of view to your loved one because lashing out at someone who takes care of you 24/7 by choice and loves you can come off as ungrateful.
Thank you bc all I'm reading is one-sided comments, and alot of folks are discounting even disregarding the caregivers point of view. Bc there are people who can take care of a disabled person like home health personnel and they can live their life and make decisions as they see fit. Yet, if they have any family, then folks will say they are heartless or thats their job not a strangers to care for family. Its a double-edged sword bc yes, there should be balance, but the physical toll and mental toll caring for a disabled realitive who truly has very limited mobility is hard asf. The number of things you know have to research and become knowledgeable just to ensure they are having a good quality of life is tenfold. Medications and new therapies/their diet and what foods clash with their meds/physical therapies and home equipment to make things like eating/sitting up/transferring from bed to chair easier on both the disabled & caregiver. The financial toll and aspect as far as what insurance will and won't cover, especially if they hit their yearly cap. Finding personal time and self care mentally, physically, and emotionally as a caregiver. Its alot all around and sometimes caregivers hold on tight bc they gave that autonomy b4 and the person got hurt worse so why step back when you've seen how certain decisions wont help them at all and make your caregiving more stressful?
@ part of the problem is that people forget that manipulation can be done subconsciously. But that doesn’t change the outcome that person still needs to change their ways even if it’s not on purpose.
@@emilyjohn2034yeah. It's so sad to watch people that love each other go through serious problems where the oppressed is miserable and the oppressor is clueless and stubborn. And they don't wanna be without each other 😭
I'm suddenly reminded of the one and only shower I gave my mum before she passed away. She looked so defeated. I hated that. The strongest person I have ever known ashamed because she needed me like that. I made it as quick and painless as possible but she hated it. My wonderful mum.
My mom went through the same. She fought against help until a bad point and finally admitted she needed more than I could do myself, even living with her. Mom was never one to deal gracefully with her limitations. I've learned from that example to try to accept mine, and work around them or with them. It takes too much energy to fight against life. Better to fight with it. Bend in the wind so you don't break.
My friend's husband had the coral replacement after an accident crushed half his vertebrae - amazing - was actually working again in a year(?) can't remember how long exactly, but it was a short time. My friend is a bulldog - she was not going to let him fail.👍
Your relationship is totally none of your familes business, but make sure to gst your cake and eat it too call them when it goes bad so you can use them despite blockibg them out 😂
"She's being oppressed by being loved" I hate this person. YES. The answer is YES. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF HELICOPTER PARENTS? OBSESSED EXES? SUFFOCATING FAMILY MEMBERS? Love is not a perfect, innocent and pure emotion, people with love don't always have the best intentions or the best actions. If anything people blinded by love actually can cause MORE damage to the people around them. Sorry this sort of shit just gets me heated
As a CNA I hate when loved ones assume that their “ disabled “ loved one has a life and pursues a normal human existence filled with fun, excitement, romance, and even risk. It’s their right to live their life. Healthcare workers are there to help support them through the ability to get to the parts they are planning
Exactly not all of us have a life full of Love excitement and risk most of the time we're sitting at home alone bored out of our minds with not even the ability to clean our house and forget being able to work a full-time shift lately
the reality is its really difficult to know someone will just die without you being there. It caustic but the downside is that any failure or backstep is at cost of the caregiver. Yes control is an issue but it isnt just one person being an asshole there are two factors. The one with the long black hair is out of touch, blind and a pos.
No matter how much you love someone you can’t protect them from life, I’m figuring that out with my baby brother who’s nearly an adult now but will always be a baby in my eyes. You have to step back and let them live their own life, make their mistakes, but be there for them when they need it. Don’t be overbearing
Yeah. The fact she can’t see that baffles me. But then again, people often ignore over protective over bearing parents cause “they just lobe their kid”. My mum had a mental freak out cause I had a lamp in my room. I was terrified of darkness as a kid, so I often left a lamp on. This lamp was not hot, very dim, and safe. But my mum went ballistic. She tried to shelter me so much that is was suffocating. (She does care but she was worried too much. Bowing things out of proportion often)
Here's the rub: *his* life is dictated by caring for his disabled sister. All of his decisions are weighed against how it will impact her. She's not the only one feeling trapped by her circumstances, but I'm sympathetic to the brother because I myself am the primary caretaker for my disabled widowed mother, and because I have to be on standby 24/7, I have no prospects for friends, a partner, a career, or any kind of independence.
@@emily6195really you think that's how it works? Do you think family and society doesn't pressure someone to be the caregiver? And call them names and selfish and a lot of other crap if they want to put themselves first in their life.
I was thinking the same thing. If I had things to do over again I would NEVER have been a caregiver for my family. And they would have called me all kinds of names, said I was selfish, etc but it turns out they called me all of that as I was doing all the work and watching my life burn around me. It was so bad that I wished to go to sleep and not wake up for years. If I knew then what I know now I would never have done it and they could have just sunk. Call me selfish - it's a compliment.
If he takes care of her 24/7. He is trapped by HER disability too. I spent 10 years taking care of my mom. The last two my world was totally centered around her. She proved that when her cancer took out the use of her legs. The last 12 days were spent making sure that she got her pain meds every 3 hours. I 1 hour every 3. Once a loved one fell because you were not there. You try to do nothing else to make sure you are there.
This is the first time I’ve been distracted by the obviously added music. Turn down the volume please it’s too distracting from the drama of people talking.
I would respect her feelings, and allow her to move forward as she wishes. I would then remove myself from her situation. Unless she called me to ASSIST her in my some way, id stay out of her business., and if I had time i might help. Wouldn't want to be accused of being overbearing twice
Sometimes when a family member does everything they can to save the other, it can go to the extreme opposite and deny letting them truly live their lives the way they need to.
i think the one thing about greys that really ruined it was the incompetence of some of the characters. not specifically doctors, patients or side characters. everyone was so annoying. except george, he did no wrong in my heart... sort of.
In the description, the names are wrong. Their actual names are; - Christina Yang - Alex Karev - Meredith Grey - Isobel (Izzie) Stevens - George O’Malley
Yep sometimes people try to make it seem like they know what's best but then sometimes they just don't even ask. Do you like to tell people what to do instead of asking what they need.
Anything can be taken too far and saying that family can't be oppressive is very dangerous. Just because they're a "loved one" doesn't automatically mean there's love there
@ambergraves798 I'd also say it can be in flux as to which is harder, not a consistent steady state. I spent 6 1/2 years as the constant carer for my little girl and her ICU level medical needs. I had help and I was still constantly burned out to the point that it's impacted my physical health for the rest of my life, even 8 years later. I wouldn't say I had it harder caring for her than she did being born into a broken body, but there was certainly time when she was content, pain-free, and her needs were met when my side of this symbiotic relationship was still brutal. I would do it all again without hesitation to have her back. She passed in 2016 at the end of fighting a terminal illness.
My mother has mobility issues and expects me be at her beck and call. The moment I sit down she finds something else she needs, or that "we need to do". I have no life.
Im autistic. My mother was like this. Even when I was 35 and married she tried to be in charge of me. Tried to make all my choices. Had zero respect for my boundaries. My dad was an overly controlling alcahol and my mom is a malignant narcissist who used my disability to gain attention. I was late diagnosed and misdiagnosed before that. It was always about what I can't do, what my.limuts were. I have been no contact for 2 years. I'm 37. Married. A paralegal. I own a home. I live independently and need very low support. My husband is great about only helping when asked and treating me like a normal person. They are still alive but I use the term was because they are no longer in my life.
It isn’t as black and white as these doctors are talking about. You worry so much about this person and if/when they could get hurt again. Seeing your loved one in pain and not being able to do anything is the worst feeling. But the only way for someone to get better is to try on their own. Her life is different, her life completely changed, her motor functions are completely different and it takes time to relearn it all. That is definitely going to change someone, and that’s the thing YOU can’t change someone else, they have to do it by themselves, for themselves. The best thing to do is to be a crutch for them. Be there when they need you to support them, but wait on the side when they feel able to try on their own.
Something people don't think about is when you are a caretaker, you have SUCH a big fear that things will get WORSE. I took care of my sick husband. People have no idea how much pressure and misery you go through. You are so afraid that an experimental surgery will make your situation even WORSE and you will be stuck picking up the pieces of "their" decision. I'm not saying it isn't her choice. But I also don't think people know the pain of caretaking. You can barely handle the life you were dealt and the thought of anothet thing going wrong feels like the end of the world. She makes the decision but if ANYTHING goes wrong.... he will also suffer the consequences of that. Food for thought.
Unfortunately a person can take care of their loved one for so long that the moment they show signs of regaining their independence makes them feel like they no longer have purpose and they don't know how to not take care of said loved oned it happens more often then some are willing to admit even when they complain about taking care of the person
i have a disability because i was born with a brain tumor and it started to grow badly when i was 11 years old and now i am 53 years old and had the brain tumor removed just one year ago on the 17th April and i was told by my family doctor that i am a slow learner and i was picked on for being different from the other students in school and i did not even get to finish high school because of the bullies at school and i loved school because i had help from my teachers who end up being the only friends i had while going to school
Sometimes to bring someone back, you have to get out of their way. Don’t try to fix them yourself because, odds are, you’re just as broken as they are, just not in the same way.
“I know she needs independence! I want to give that to her!” Treats and has treated his “loved one” as someone too stupid to even make a decision about her own health. Yea. Great bro. Glad he isn’t mine. Mine would actually fight to get me independent and able to care for myself properly as soon as he could.
You can totally be oppressed by love. When I was diagnosed with autism when I was 12 my mum became insanely protective to the point she was deciding what I was capable of. I wanted to be more independent but she thought I couldn’t and I knew I just needed to be thrown in the deep end. I had been dreaming of going on a year long student exchange to Japan since I was 11 and when I was 14 after much convincing I managed to get her to agree to let me go on a 2 week exchange and despite it going amazing well, she still didn’t think I could handle going for a year. Eventually I snapped and yelled at her when I was 15 saying that I know what I’m capable of doing and I want to be more independent. After that she finally understood and agreed.
Show nam: Grey's Anatomy. Really should have included context of the relationship, i had to scroll the comments for 10 nminutes to find people who had seen the episode to realise this is her BROTHER and he's been helping her simce she became disabled. I would love to know who the autistic doctor lady was in the show and her background. I'm also curious if she is autistic in real life.
The reality is this appears to be an alert and oriented person. If she desires to have the surgery after proper informed consent, he has no say in it. He can argue and rail about it, but at that point his opinion shouldn't matter to the staff. In fact, if she wants her brother removed from her presence, she has the right to request it.
It took me 4 years to finally find the document that let me get my uncle off life support. His wife and her family like that they kept getting his money. Never understood how they found out what was in his will.
@k.upward hecdoesnt jus5 love the idea of hervas a healthy person. He's overprotective, and RHE wanted to save her because, as hervbrothet, he fe i t it was his job. Still overbearing, but for different reasons,
No matter how much you love or want to protect someone, ya gotta let them live their life their way.
She depends on him... She is just your classic loud mouth westerner.
@@jop23ify so do people in other parts of the world just give up and expect there disability
@jop23ify so if you rely on someone else you don't get the power to make your own decisions? Disabled adults who are perfectly capable of making rational decisions should just shut up and do whatever their loved ones say?
@@jop23ifyso she is mentally competent, & wants to NOT have to depend on her brother, & your take away is that she's "a loud mouth westerner"? You have a VERY skewed view of a person's right to automony
@@jop23ify
You are generalizing.
If a doctor doesn’t understand how a loved once can oppress a patient, then theyre missing a fundamental piece of family dynamics in medical care
I think Amelia of all people should understand, based on her history
@@DeepikaGinger this entire show is built on hypocrisy. Every character in this show from the first season to the 20th is completely immature. They whinge and whine when something is being done to them, and then turn around and do that to other people without seeing how that could’ve affected them.
This is really about her and her partner. The person she's talking to. The two of them are in a relationship. Amelia's partner wants to move to Europe but Amelia wants to stay. It breaks them up eventually. They were talking about themselves not about the patient.
Exactly
@@DeepikaGingeractually, I feel that is pretty on point that Amelia doesn't know shit about family dynamics since she didn't had any due to her past as a junkie
This episode hit on a crucial point when it comes to disabilities and the family dynamic. I have a friend who developed a form of cerebral palsy after a stroke at age 3. This limited his mobility. But this man, who is now in his fifties, was crippled by his family on a much deeper level than his physical disability ever could have. Instead of teaching him independence, they coddled and sheltered him to the point that he now needs someone to run his household, pay his bills and make sure he doesn’t eat canned peas for an entire month. Family “love”, even if it means well can be so smothering that it actually kills the soul of the very person they were trying to protect.
So true, and with cerebral palsy especially because people assume they have a mental disability because of their physical disabilities. I knew a 50+ woman who lived with her mother, who was the original helicopter parent. Her mother died, and the next time I saw her her younger adult brother was finally able to get her into adult educational and recreational programs and she absolutely blossomed.
@shells500tutubo I am so happy she was finally able to blossom. It’s often times just so tragic because families that mean well end up doing more harm than good while trying to “protect” their children or siblings. My friend has become crotchety and bitter and instead of getting out there and experiencing life he harbors great resentment towards his siblings who are now in charge of his trust. The problem is, they still try to not only coddle him but also to limit his activities, telling him where he can live, how he can spend his money and they berate him if he exhibits any independence from them. It infuriates me. To the point that often I will text in his place in their group chats unbeknownst to them but on his behalf because if he says the things that need to be said he will do so with so much vitriol that it backfires. I am able to articulate better what he wants to say without the venom and show them (albeit vicariously) that he has an independent mind and not only wants to be, but “is” an independent man.
And what would you know about caring for a completely dependant CHILD from an age where you should be able to start teaching them independence because of a devastating event?
Nothing, I bet. 🤦♀️
@dmf1301 Quite a bit actually, but that is none of your business and hardly the point of any of this. Thank you however for your concern over my qualifications for expressing an opinion and bringing up an anecdotal situation that applies to the subject matter at hand. You were very helpful.
What is the name of the show
Brother was like this. When he lived in another town, he was confident, capable, almost a whole new person. Came back home and 2 weeks later was repressed and wasn't allowed independence and was back to his old ways.
I felt that
My brother used to have a job "de-burring" those halos. He was always proud of the work he did in any job. But that job was extra special. Whenever I see them, it warms my heart. He passed 2 years ago, and this reminds me that his legacy will always continue.
I'm in his debt perhaps, as I wore 0ne about 5 years ago, and now can do pretty much anything again.
❤❤❤
What is deburring?
@@vickyabramowitz2885 That would be smoothing rough spots,sharp edges etc-the rough imperfections left after cutting/machining parts are called burrs.
@@crankyyankee7290 Thanks for the information.
As a disabled person - you cannot fix it for us, and it isn’t our responsibility to hold your hand while you learn that. I grew up literally learning that I had to spend so much time helping my parents mourn my diagnosis and what should have been that I never mourned it myself. Having family like that oftentimes feels worse than having the actual medical trauma.
I understand. The family members need to learn actual empathy and stop focusing on themselves. As more questions. Give fewer orders.
I agree @@jmas2312
The part about having to support family in mourning the disease you yourself have hits close to home.
I got dx'd with T1D (the autoimmune variant) at 9 and nearly died multiple times, had to be on life support and what not. Diabetes kicked my ass throughout my teens to the point it got me disabled from the extensive nerve & organ damage. I went from healthy to being wheelchair and tubefeed dependent.
I however was the one who always had to console my parents and prevent them from unaliving themselves or slipping into addiction because THEY felt bad for my health. Yet they simultaneously didn't allow me to grieve the health I no longer had.
I was and still am fully independent, yet they acted like they were 24/7 caregivers. They ignored the fact that I was their emotional support pet who cleaned up their vomit after alcohol/drug binges every night, had to call them in sick for work, didn't have them show up for school, had to beg them to come to my graduation & schedule their doc appointments.
Once I moved out at 23 yo it slowly dawned on me how emotionally neglected I was. Everything was about them grieving their child's health and being praised by others for "being such involved parents that support their sick child", yet there was no room for me to simply exist, grieve and process everything.
Some people just shouldn't be parents. I am not saying that I am much better. I have a daughter that has cerebral palsy. When she was born, we spent the whole like 2 days that we needed to be sad that she had cerebral palsy, and would not have a so called normal life, and decided it was time to get over it and live with the fact that she was exactly who God intended for her to be! Sure, I still get sad once in a while, but for years, "Early Steps" would come in and tell me this is where she should be, and I would argue that she was exactly where she was supposed to be, keep helping her be the best Kaylee she can be, she doesn't need to be the best Sarah or someone else that she can be! It pissed me off so badly when her teachers told her that she had cp and brain damage!
My family could only focus in how inconvenient was my disability. None of them are in my life anymore. Is not fair to make the life of the disabled person harder than what it already is.
It's so important to be helpful to loved ones who are in a bad situation, without being suffocating or too overbearing. From personal experience, being over-protective can sometimes make the person feel like they are in more of a cage than the actual illness/injury does.
I will say he's a good brother, but it's always important to respect family and give them space if they need it.
Its the need to find a balance between loving and healping your disabled sibling and allowing them make their own decisions and calmly explaining your point of view to your loved one because lashing out at someone who takes care of you 24/7 by choice and loves you can come off as ungrateful.
Thank you bc all I'm reading is one-sided comments, and alot of folks are discounting even disregarding the caregivers point of view. Bc there are people who can take care of a disabled person like home health personnel and they can live their life and make decisions as they see fit. Yet, if they have any family, then folks will say they are heartless or thats their job not a strangers to care for family. Its a double-edged sword bc yes, there should be balance, but the physical toll and mental toll caring for a disabled realitive who truly has very limited mobility is hard asf. The number of things you know have to research and become knowledgeable just to ensure they are having a good quality of life is tenfold. Medications and new therapies/their diet and what foods clash with their meds/physical therapies and home equipment to make things like eating/sitting up/transferring from bed to chair easier on both the disabled & caregiver. The financial toll and aspect as far as what insurance will and won't cover, especially if they hit their yearly cap. Finding personal time and self care mentally, physically, and emotionally as a caregiver. Its alot all around and sometimes caregivers hold on tight bc they gave that autonomy b4 and the person got hurt worse so why step back when you've seen how certain decisions wont help them at all and make your caregiving more stressful?
“Oppressed by love” is EXTREMELY common.
Call it what it is...manipulation
@ part of the problem is that people forget that manipulation can be done subconsciously. But that doesn’t change the outcome that person still needs to change their ways even if it’s not on purpose.
@@emilyjohn2034yeah. It's so sad to watch people that love each other go through serious problems where the oppressed is miserable and the oppressor is clueless and stubborn. And they don't wanna be without each other 😭
Average medical drama character acting incredulous when they're faced with a social dynamic more complicated than middle school logic
@@wyleecoyotee4252except it’s not all manipulation.
I'm suddenly reminded of the one and only shower I gave my mum before she passed away. She looked so defeated. I hated that. The strongest person I have ever known ashamed because she needed me like that.
I made it as quick and painless as possible but she hated it. My wonderful mum.
❤
I'm sorry for you loss but your wording makes it sound like you murdered your mum.
This made me cry.
My mom went through the same. She fought against help until a bad point and finally admitted she needed more than I could do myself, even living with her. Mom was never one to deal gracefully with her limitations. I've learned from that example to try to accept mine, and work around them or with them. It takes too much energy to fight against life. Better to fight with it. Bend in the wind so you don't break.
My friend's husband had the coral replacement after an accident crushed half his vertebrae - amazing - was actually working again in a year(?) can't remember how long exactly, but it was a short time. My friend is a bulldog - she was not going to let him fail.👍
WHOA AND WOW!!😮😮
"Not your business." The way she said that was perfect.
Yes!
Your relationship is totally none of your familes business, but make sure to gst your cake and eat it too call them when it goes bad so you can use them despite blockibg them out 😂
@@Taverenyou sound like the manipulator in your family, trust me when I say they will never call you
"She's being oppressed by being loved" I hate this person. YES. The answer is YES. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF HELICOPTER PARENTS? OBSESSED EXES? SUFFOCATING FAMILY MEMBERS? Love is not a perfect, innocent and pure emotion, people with love don't always have the best intentions or the best actions. If anything people blinded by love actually can cause MORE damage to the people around them. Sorry this sort of shit just gets me heated
Understandable.
I understand. It can be infuriating
No need to be sorry, love can become toxic to all involved very easily. Love doesn't automatically equal something good.
She wasn’t though.
Exactly!!
As a CNA I hate when loved ones assume that their “ disabled “ loved one has a life and pursues a normal human existence filled with fun, excitement, romance, and even risk. It’s their right to live their life. Healthcare workers are there to help support them through the ability to get to the parts they are planning
Exactly not all of us have a life full of Love excitement and risk most of the time we're sitting at home alone bored out of our minds with not even the ability to clean our house and forget being able to work a full-time shift lately
the reality is its really difficult to know someone will just die without you being there. It caustic but the downside is that any failure or backstep is at cost of the caregiver. Yes control is an issue but it isnt just one person being an asshole there are two factors. The one with the long black hair is out of touch, blind and a pos.
No matter how much you love someone you can’t protect them from life, I’m figuring that out with my baby brother who’s nearly an adult now but will always be a baby in my eyes. You have to step back and let them live their own life, make their mistakes, but be there for them when they need it. Don’t be overbearing
The music is wayy too loud
No way they need to turn up the volume because I can almost hear the dialogue.
@@mollyclawson923😂
the music is fine
So you're saying our patient is being opressed by being loved?
Yes. Yes that is exactly what is happening.Thank you for getting it
Yeah. The fact she can’t see that baffles me. But then again, people often ignore over protective over bearing parents cause “they just lobe their kid”.
My mum had a mental freak out cause I had a lamp in my room. I was terrified of darkness as a kid, so I often left a lamp on. This lamp was not hot, very dim, and safe. But my mum went ballistic. She tried to shelter me so much that is was suffocating.
(She does care but she was worried too much. Bowing things out of proportion often)
Doc should have paid more attention on her Psych rotation. Never heard of codependence? It becomes unhealthy if one no longer consents.
It's not love, it's manipulation
Wasn’t what was happening but go off
Geez, can you make the music any LOUDER???
Here's the rub: *his* life is dictated by caring for his disabled sister. All of his decisions are weighed against how it will impact her. She's not the only one feeling trapped by her circumstances, but I'm sympathetic to the brother because I myself am the primary caretaker for my disabled widowed mother, and because I have to be on standby 24/7, I have no prospects for friends, a partner, a career, or any kind of independence.
Can you look for some help and relief & respite for yourself? You need this.
@@mika72.-Bois I've tried, and every attempt ended in failure. We're on our own.
She didn’t ask him to do that and she probably didn’t even want it. He should have left her alone
@@emily6195really you think that's how it works? Do you think family and society doesn't pressure someone to be the caregiver? And call them names and selfish and a lot of other crap if they want to put themselves first in their life.
I was thinking the same thing. If I had things to do over again I would NEVER have been a caregiver for my family. And they would have called me all kinds of names, said I was selfish, etc but it turns out they called me all of that as I was doing all the work and watching my life burn around me. It was so bad that I wished to go to sleep and not wake up for years. If I knew then what I know now I would never have done it and they could have just sunk. Call me selfish - it's a compliment.
If you had a sibling with a disability u would do everything within your power to help them
Helping them means respecting what they actually need, what they’re telling you they need
@averycheesypotato good point
@@averycheesypotato I am happy that I have a sister that helps me when I need it and respect my need for independence
If he takes care of her 24/7. He is trapped by HER disability too. I spent 10 years taking care of my mom. The last two my world was totally centered around her. She proved that when her cancer took out the use of her legs. The last 12 days were spent making sure that she got her pain meds every 3 hours. I 1 hour every 3. Once a loved one fell because you were not there. You try to do nothing else to make sure you are there.
I'm glad there were subtitles because the music got to be too LOUD!!
Please make the music louder, I can still hear the actors 🙄🙄🙄
They have to do it they have to edit and add something because if not then it can be considered copyright
@naketabonham5066 oh I know, but at least most of the time it's at a reasonable level and not a dull roar lol
Wow, maybe you can crank the music up a little bit more so we can hear less of the dialogue.
Hey man next time can you make sure to turn the music up? I can't hear it over the dialogue of the scenes. Thanks in advance.
Lower the music volume on future shorts and they will do a lot better. It's a good edit
This is the first time I’ve been distracted by the obviously added music. Turn down the volume please it’s too distracting from the drama of people talking.
Omg background music is OVER THE TOP!
hey Moovie, you didnt have the music loud enough cuz we can still hear them talking.
I know that girl!! It’s Jackie Thon! I know her in real life! She was on Glow and is in the new Netflix series Nobody Wants This! She’s AWESOME!!!!!
Could do without the music in the background
I would respect her feelings, and allow her to move forward as she wishes. I would then remove myself from her situation. Unless she called me to ASSIST her in my some way, id stay out of her business., and if I had time i might help. Wouldn't want to be accused of being overbearing twice
If I had a sibling that ungrateful then I'd just stop helping them. let them deal with their problems
Sometimes when a family member does everything they can to save the other, it can go to the extreme opposite and deny letting them truly live their lives the way they need to.
i think the one thing about greys that really ruined it was the incompetence of some of the characters. not specifically doctors, patients or side characters. everyone was so annoying. except george, he did no wrong in my heart... sort of.
Can we turn the background music up some? I could still hear them talking a little bit
In the description, the names are wrong. Their actual names are;
- Christina Yang
- Alex Karev
- Meredith Grey
- Isobel (Izzie) Stevens
- George O’Malley
What's the show?
Im so glad the music matches the scene
Increase the volume of the music next time, I could still hear some of the dialog getting through.
Bro really said "I know she wants independence, I just wish she was dependent on me giving it to her" lol
I had a whole rant, but you basically summed up my entire thought process.
Which episode is this? 😍
Yep sometimes people try to make it seem like they know what's best but then sometimes they just don't even ask. Do you like to tell people what to do instead of asking what they need.
I wish they'd include the series name in the tags for people who aren't aware of it.
Anyone know the series name?
Anything can be taken too far and saying that family can't be oppressive is very dangerous.
Just because they're a "loved one" doesn't automatically mean there's love there
The music isn’t loud enough. I can still, kinda, sorta hear the dialogue…
What is up with the background music. Definitely wrong tone
Being a caregiver is really hard, but its not harder than what the person who needs care is going through.
I respectfully disagree. As someone who has been on both sides of this, it really depends.
@ambergraves798 I'd also say it can be in flux as to which is harder, not a consistent steady state.
I spent 6 1/2 years as the constant carer for my little girl and her ICU level medical needs. I had help and I was still constantly burned out to the point that it's impacted my physical health for the rest of my life, even 8 years later.
I wouldn't say I had it harder caring for her than she did being born into a broken body, but there was certainly time when she was content, pain-free, and her needs were met when my side of this symbiotic relationship was still brutal.
I would do it all again without hesitation to have her back. She passed in 2016 at the end of fighting a terminal illness.
Even if that's correct, why would it matter? Having it worse than the people you depend on entitles you to exactly nothing at all.
My mother has mobility issues and expects me be at her beck and call. The moment I sit down she finds something else she needs, or that "we need to do". I have no life.
Sadly, some people develop dependency issues. And stop respecting boundaries.
Put your foot down.. you will both be better off for it.
Raise the music volume I can’t hear it 😂
Im autistic. My mother was like this. Even when I was 35 and married she tried to be in charge of me. Tried to make all my choices. Had zero respect for my boundaries. My dad was an overly controlling alcahol and my mom is a malignant narcissist who used my disability to gain attention. I was late diagnosed and misdiagnosed before that. It was always about what I can't do, what my.limuts were. I have been no contact for 2 years. I'm 37. Married. A paralegal. I own a home. I live independently and need very low support. My husband is great about only helping when asked and treating me like a normal person. They are still alive but I use the term was because they are no longer in my life.
I was Star when I could walk and I'm still Star now I just have a cool ride and special parking 😎
Thank goodness the music was so loud, I almost had to hear the dialogue
The zoom and music with this clip I just have no idea what to feel? I kept waiting for this to be like a joke skit or something.
It isn’t as black and white as these doctors are talking about. You worry so much about this person and if/when they could get hurt again. Seeing your loved one in pain and not being able to do anything is the worst feeling. But the only way for someone to get better is to try on their own. Her life is different, her life completely changed, her motor functions are completely different and it takes time to relearn it all. That is definitely going to change someone, and that’s the thing YOU can’t change someone else, they have to do it by themselves, for themselves. The best thing to do is to be a crutch for them. Be there when they need you to support them, but wait on the side when they feel able to try on their own.
What is the show or what episode of the show is this? I’m not sure of the show, but I’d like to see it.
Season and episode please
Greys anatomy movie it says in the description
@loopielou1989 i know the name of the movie, I wanna know the number of season and episode.
Man you can almost hear that music over the video, maybe they dhould turn the music up more to drown out the audio from the clip
Anyone know the name of the show?
Greys anatomy
Something people don't think about is when you are a caretaker, you have SUCH a big fear that things will get WORSE. I took care of my sick husband. People have no idea how much pressure and misery you go through. You are so afraid that an experimental surgery will make your situation even WORSE and you will be stuck picking up the pieces of "their" decision. I'm not saying it isn't her choice. But I also don't think people know the pain of caretaking. You can barely handle the life you were dealt and the thought of anothet thing going wrong feels like the end of the world. She makes the decision but if ANYTHING goes wrong.... he will also suffer the consequences of that. Food for thought.
I hear the dialogs way too easy man, please turn the trumpets and heroic music on, it's not loud enough.
What kind of narcissist says "she is isnt she", when told someone is lucky they were in town. I mean seriously the woman has no humility at all.
Unfortunately a person can take care of their loved one for so long that the moment they show signs of regaining their independence makes them feel like they no longer have purpose and they don't know how to not take care of said loved oned it happens more often then some are willing to admit even when they complain about taking care of the person
Can you turn up the music, i can almost hear the audio
Background music is supposed to be in the background. It's way too loud. You might want to remember that when moving forward.
Hey. Can you make the music louder? I almost heard what they were saying
Would be great to be able to hear the speaking over the SUPER UNNECESSARILY GRAND MUSIC.
I seriously thought this was an SNL skit at first.
i have a disability because i was born with a brain tumor and it started to grow badly when i was 11 years old and now i am 53 years old and had the brain tumor removed just one year ago on the 17th April and i was told by my family doctor that i am a slow learner and i was picked on for being different from the other students in school and i did not even get to finish high school because of the bullies at school and i loved school because i had help from my teachers who end up being the only friends i had while going to school
Sometimes to bring someone back, you have to get out of their way. Don’t try to fix them yourself because, odds are, you’re just as broken as they are, just not in the same way.
Literally my little brother. Sir, I'm your elder. 😬🥴😂🤭🙏🏾
Could've done without the darn music but at least I could actually hear what they were saying this time .
I wish I'd have someone like that to relied on no matter what,, even after fighting he'd never leave me,, give me the support when I'm down
Can you turn the volume up on the music? Thanks.
The feck is with the music?
“I know she needs independence! I want to give that to her!” Treats and has treated his “loved one” as someone too stupid to even make a decision about her own health. Yea. Great bro. Glad he isn’t mine. Mine would actually fight to get me independent and able to care for myself properly as soon as he could.
Ikr? "I know she wants independence... I wish I could fix it for her." Bro literally missed the whole point.
Pro didn’t even look like he trusted her to pick a DATE by herself
@emilyjohn2034 Maybe even jealous. The way he took the news is pretty sus, tbh.
@@narliehs1648 maybe but I’ve seen older brothers be pretty protective about new partners before
@@emilyjohn2034 True. Not sure what his deal is. He might just have an obsession with feeling needed, as was mentioned. I hope that's all it is.
Who is actress?
Hey you put a little of dialog in your music
I'm glad he acknowledged being a pain
Turn the background soeakers volume down, I cant hear the music
You can totally be oppressed by love. When I was diagnosed with autism when I was 12 my mum became insanely protective to the point she was deciding what I was capable of. I wanted to be more independent but she thought I couldn’t and I knew I just needed to be thrown in the deep end. I had been dreaming of going on a year long student exchange to Japan since I was 11 and when I was 14 after much convincing I managed to get her to agree to let me go on a 2 week exchange and despite it going amazing well, she still didn’t think I could handle going for a year. Eventually I snapped and yelled at her when I was 15 saying that I know what I’m capable of doing and I want to be more independent. After that she finally understood and agreed.
Unless he has medical power of attorney I'm not sure why he's even in the room.
Perhaps because he cares enough to be there.
For the writing
As someone who had to wear a halo brace for thirteen weeks, I recommend using your seatbelts
Turn the music up, I almost heard the dialogue!
Show nam: Grey's Anatomy.
Really should have included context of the relationship, i had to scroll the comments for 10 nminutes to find people who had seen the episode to realise this is her BROTHER and he's been helping her simce she became disabled. I would love to know who the autistic doctor lady was in the show and her background. I'm also curious if she is autistic in real life.
"So you're saying she's being oppressed by love?" No, she's being drowned by obsession which is fueled by love and self righteousness since you asked
Obsessive control is oppressive control.
I'm a recent quad amputee and I feel very blessed to have support of family to help me get my autonomy back
Dear Lord, what happened? are you a vet? If you don't mind me asking, of course.
The reality is this appears to be an alert and oriented person. If she desires to have the surgery after proper informed consent, he has no say in it. He can argue and rail about it, but at that point his opinion shouldn't matter to the staff. In fact, if she wants her brother removed from her presence, she has the right to request it.
It took me 4 years to finally find the document that let me get my uncle off life support. His wife and her family like that they kept getting his money.
Never understood how they found out what was in his will.
What season & episode is this from?
It doesn't hurt to have love ones to be with you during your time of need to help you.
It can if that help goes too far like the brother was. There's a difference between helping and taking over.
'Loved ones'...what a joke.
He's just another controlling male
@@wyleecoyotee4252 No he's not. he can back off a little but he just a brother that just wants to take care of his sister.
What show is this from
Greys anatomy.
Does anyone know what episode this was?
Could barely hear the dialogue with the music over it.
Why is the music SO LOUD!?
Who is the specialist helping the doctors?
Love how she can move her head in the HALO! 😂
Could the music be any louder?
What episode is this ? 😊
“bring her back”? She didn’t go nowhere and the fact that you think she “faded away” showed that you only loved the idea of her, not really her
He's not a boyfriend or an ex. He's her brother.
@ So?
@k.upward hecdoesnt jus5 love the idea of hervas a healthy person. He's overprotective, and RHE wanted to save her because, as hervbrothet, he fe i t it was his job. Still overbearing, but for different reasons,