I was raised in Mexico from the age of 9 to 20 and disliked the fact that some people would not socialize with their domestic employees. But many do and many don't, definitely NOT a rule. Is something "people with money" do to make them selfs feel superior and that is considered "clasismo". Follow your heart on that one.
'Clasismo' exists all over the world, most often disguised as racism. Mexico is no exception, but yes, because of the abismal economic extremes amongst the population in Mexico and Latin America, clasismo is more evident. And again, not all people who have dometic employees are equal ... at all. Some families here in Mexico treat their domestic employees like family, while others make sure the boundaries are well-defined - just like anywhere else around the world. (I'm a Mexican who have lived in Mexico all of my fifty decades of existance). 😉 Great job on those videos Jordan. 👍
I think it's probably for the same reason bosses and employees limit their socializing. It's difficult to let go of someone you're friends with, but it may be necessary for the mission of the team and the company.
FYI people if your nature is to be warm and friendly do not change. The not talking to the help is very classist. It displays elitism and is just plain rude. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Ive always been friendlier with "the help" than with my own traveling companions. They always seem so happy to get a big smile and a big thank you from me.
Refuse twice before accepting a drink? That used to be the case among the older generations or maybe in smaller towns in Mexico. These days in medium- and big-size cities, you might well end up with no drink at all if you refuse the first time.
That part of refusing a drink twice wasn't true in Mexico City in the 1980s. Never. I don't know about private homes in the the "Provincia," though. Sounds too weird to me. No mms!
No, es una cuestión cultural. Aquí en México existe el dicho de "a comadreja a la plaza", esto es referido de que en un trabajo, tu vas a trabajar, no a compartir tu vida personal, si quieres compartir tu vida personal, eso se hace con personas más cercanas y en un ambiente más relajado.
I have a story to share with your audience. A couple of months ago, I was showing a home in Puerto Aventuras to a Canadian family whose 7yo daughter joined us for the showing. (Puerto Aventuras is an upscale residential community in the Riviera Maya.) When we entered this particular home, the owner, a lovely Mexican lady welcomed us and showed us around. All the while, her cleaning lady was busy cleaning. We briefly greeted her too. At some point, my clients asked if there was a dishwasher. The home-owner jokingly said in English pointing to her cleaning lady 'She's my dishwasher.' That was a bit awkward to say the least; hope her cleaning lady didn't understand English. As we were about to leave, my clients' adorable 7yo daughter went and hugged the home-owner, the home-owner's dog and not to forget, ran outside on the patio to also hug the cleaning lady. 🥲 This amazing child was and is full of love. To her, every being is worthy of love (and hugs.) I was really touched and you could say she taught us all a lesson that day.
It is not that the cleaning woman is treated like trash but she is employed and in a working evironmnet that is proper not to be personal at all. I would not be offended if my boss was giving a tour and I was a packer for a company and he said that is my packer .. it is my job. Remember not to try to change other peoples cultures and customs just respect them to receive respect back.
@@intheuniversekeyin mexico is offensive to say that. You have to treat others to with respect, it also depends on the tone.Mexico's motto is give respect and receive respect.
At our house we always have conversations with our nanny and even invite her and her family to our events. As for her having conversations with visitors, it’s totally up to her. She’s a human being not a robot.
One more comment on accepting a refreshment when first offered. This is applicable to visits which are either unplanned or not centred around a meal. If you are invited to an event where it is clear food and drink will be served (un cumpleaños, un almuerzo o cena, any fiesta), then this “refuse the first offer” doesn’t apply. Context matters.
Regarding #9, you'll often notice that the people outside the grocery stores are older individuals and that's the reason they are there. As older individuals it is difficult for them to find employment. They still have the personal dignity to try and earn a very meager living doing this job that they have created. They are not employees of the store nor are they compensated in any way by the store. The reality is that the very meager tip that you give these people is often the very money that buys their food for the day. I believe a tip that not only compensates them for the service they've provided, but also shows respect for their determination despite their circumstances to not give up is in order. IMHO
Soy de México y es la primera vez que escucho que no debes aceptar algo que te ofrezcan para beber hasta la tercera vez, (la tercer regla) he vivido en ciudad de México Puebla y Tlaxcala Así que seguramente es una costumbre local, creo que después de la pandemia muchos acostumbramos a dejar el calzado de la calle en la puerta y cambiarlo por sandalias, muy divertido tu canal te seguiré viendo!
My parents always told me never to accept food or drink even if you are hungry or thirsty. I always interpreted it as you don't want the host to go through any trouble. When I met my husband's family and would turn down food, they found it very rude and took it as a sign of me thinking I was too good. Both families from Mexico, one from Laredo, one from Durango. So now I just accept if I would like it to not offend or don't accept if it's not right in front of me!
For the 3x on a drink... My Mexican friends always bring me a drink (and/or food) without asking...they just put it in front of me while we are talking. I hope that's a sign they actually like me.
Hola, yo nací en la ciudad de Querétaro y en mi familia nunca hemos tratado a las personas que nos hacen favor de ayudarnos en los trabajos domesticos, como lo mencionan en este video, al contrario las tratamos como de la familia y las queremos mucho, lo que deberiamos hacer es estar agradecidos porque son personas que trabajan sin parar y no tienen nada de detechos ni prestaciones. Tengamos un poco de humanidad. Espero que si tienen hijos no los enseñen a menospreciar a la gente pobre.
Ignoring a person based on status or job classification in any culture is unacceptable. Rather than asking questions initially, a simple greeting or sincere compliment for a specific task completed well can help break the ice. If/when there is a need to address job performance, the task is much easier if the person knows you are concerned more about the task and not criticizing them personally. When in doubt, follow the golden rule and trust your instincts. Living in Mexico does not mean that you should strive to be "Mexican". Mexican culture is more diverse and changing all the time. Do not be afraid to be yourself even if people will know you are not from here. Who knows, some kid might say ohhhhh, we don't need to wear pants all the time. 😎
My wife is from Mexico. She always tells me if you are at someone's home and they offer you food or drink, it is rude to say no. Knowing this, I can see they they want to be a good host.
@@LARCK8 You refuse if they just ask, but you DON’T refuse if they actually put the food and drink on the table in front of you. Polite refusal to “Would you like something to drink?” is appropriate. But if it’s served to you without asking first, then you should absolutely accept or it’s even more rude.
@@mwiebe2663 who puts food and drinks without asking?! You don’t know if the other person likes or dislikes it or if they are allergic. Not even my family do that. If they do that , just say politely “ no gracias, no me aparece” or “no lo consumo” and that’s it. They’ll understand
The shorts rule depends a lot on the season, where you are and the occasion. And I totally agree about saying “con permiso” when you walk past somebody in a store - my jaw dropped when you were talking about that lol. But I totally disagree about not talking with domestic workers. My cleaning lady is one of my closest friends. She’s invited me to her house many times and she treats me like one of her own family. If that makes me stand out as a gringo, so be it.
3:52The housekeepers in Mexico are generally indigenous or of indigenous descent. Mexico has a huge racism problem and the rule about not talking to housekeepers or inviting them out to dinner comes from that. No one at a restaurant knows that the person you are with is your housekeeper, how could they, all the public can see is that they have a darker skin color. I would encourage you all to break this norm, these people are some of the hardest working and most trustworthy and loyal people in all of Mexico. We have had the same housekeeper for over 20 years that she is practicaly part of the family now, she has been inside our house and seen our valuables and never stolen a thing. I cannot emphasize how horrible this cultural rule is and I ask that if you can, break it and help end it
Jordan, the purse rule is used in the US in the African American culture. A black American woman will never put her purse on the floor. And people will remind you if you forget!!Our parents and grandparents taught this was bag luck. If you want money to come to you… don’t do it. Also, another reason is we don’t want to have any insect ( especially roaches) crawl into our bag and then we take it back to our home. Ugh!!
Interesting side note: some of the politeness in certain cultures provides such a lack of clarity in dangerous situations that things like aviation was changed. For instance now1) Only English is spoken internationally and flight deck crew must be fluent in English. 2) crew were taught to communicate dangerous situations in ways considered rude in their culture. For example if the captain was not understanding the copilot telling him they were in immediate danger of running out of fuel. Specifically in Hispanic cultures it was considered rude for subordinates to plainly communicate to their superiors things in opposition to the superior. Similar to how you say it's impolite to directly say no, so you have to read between the lines. This came out when they examined why certain airlines had statistically higher crashes. One example investigated was the copilot trying to tell the captain they were running out of fuel. The captain was absorbed with the tower telling them to go around one more time instead of declaring an emergency and landing the plane. The plane crashed, both pilots died and most of the passengers. It was clear from the recordings the copilot knew the danger they were in but bound by politness to communicate in ways the pilot did not pick up on.
I’ve been back-and-forth to Mexico since the fall of 2020. I always wear shorts because it is so hot in Quintana Roo. I normally hang out in playa Del Carmen. So it’s just more comfortable for me besides, when my Mexican friend in Playa del Carmen visits me at my hotel, he normally comes wearing shorts. One of my friends who is a vendor over Fifth Avenue normally is wearing shorts as well when I visit with him while he’s working. I’m just gonna continue to wear shorts because it’s comfortable for me and it’s very hot in playa. Del Carmen. Plus, I don’t like to pack a lot of clothes in my luggage because the airline charges a lot of money. Lol.
Great advices. Just one thing about not placing pocketbooks on the floor. This is not only a Mexican rule but it goes the same both in USA and many European countries. The bag is an old symbol for your wealth, savings and money. It is disrespectful to your wealth, savings and money to put it on the floor. It is also said to bring bad luck. This is not only at restuarants but also in your car. Bag is kept in a seat, not on the car floor.
Many points on this video are very true! I always say “con permiso”, whenever I pass by a stranger at the grocery store, it’s also like an acknowledgement of their presence. We, Mexicans (at least most of us), acknowledge strangers in public, when you ran into them.
I’m sorry but the not talking or enjoying a meal with help is ridiculous. I’m Mexican and my Mexican father would have smacked me for being rude to help! Haha 😊 He would definitely let me know I should NEVER think I was better than anyone else! The sun shines on all people by the grace of God!!! 😊 Poor, rich, etc. Enjoying life is for everyone! Make a friend! Por Dios! 😅
Exactly. It’s misleading to equate the practices of more caste- or class-concerned Mexicans with all Mexicans. The ones who have fought against these hierarchies are part of a long and heroic national tradition as well and it is just as Mexican.
I' m Mexican and that rule of refusing twice ...I knew it bit different...I was taught to insist only 3 times. If I was refused 3 times, it was better not to insist
@@TangerineTravels well I find that terrible , I am Venezuelan I live in England, 22 years in this country, in Venezuela the middle class is awful they feel they are above working class and poor people so for them hanging out with their maids would be embarrassing, I guess Mexico is the same 💩
@@LARCK8 well why would you go around asking invading question? I am talking about not having an attitude that you feel superior because you got more money than another person and that person happen to be your employee so having a conversación out of the área of work isn’t posible because how embarrassing would be if your rich friends see you talking to a poor person, that is that attitude I am talking about.
In US, tip is becoming a kind of rule, in Mexico you may not give tip and it is ok too… the matter of housekeepers I have never seen it, housekeepers in Mexico become strongly part of family, they are very much involve in the family matters, I think it is correct not to start a conversation with visitors as they actually are attentive to needs of visitors and situation.
I remember my mom saying, when someone offers you a drink of food, you always say “No”, if they insist or if they serve you after you refuse, you accept graciously and you say “Muchas Gracias”😅
I recently moved to Mexico with my husband and as an Irish-American (we are known for our candor in all situations), sometimes it drives me crazy that people don’t just speak what is true. It’s like walking on eggshells or slow as molasses:) I know this is teaching me patience, lol
In regards to refusing the drink, now a days, well, at least my husband’s family, they wont even ask you if you want something, they put it out, serve and dont you dare to refuse it lol
Regarding the refusing a drink or food the first couple of times it’s offered… I’ve posted about that on social media before because it’s a thing, and is the same in Central America (at least among my Guatemalan friends). I don’t think it will necessarily be viewed as overtly rude to accept on the first offer, more that it’s kind of ingrained to say no initially as a matter of courtesy. The more important flip side of this is how you as a host react if you offer a drink and the visitor says no. This is how I discovered this “unwritten rule”. I would offer, the visitor would say no, and I’d take that at face value. A dear Guatemalan friend (who is like a sister to me) laughingly explained that I needed to keep offering. Or better yet, don’t ask. Just bring out some drinks and snacks and serve them without asking ahead of time. I’ve drank more Coke than I’d like because of this custom, because once it was served to me it felt rude to say no even if I didn’t really want it! When hosting, I will usually pour the drinks and offer them directly, glass in hand or at least place it on the table “para quien quiera”. At that point there is no problem at all with the recipient feeling the need to give a polite (fake) refusal. If they say no at that point, it’s probably genuine. However as someone above mentioned, this may be a custom that is not as common anymore in the younger generations.
Fun video! I’m Mexican and I do agree with you on most of them, these are cultural facts. But… the drink thing… I don’t think it applies everywhere, this is the first time I heard about it 🤨 About the 3 things in the fridge, I would add “frijoles” (beans) 😁 and about not talking with the maids, I think it depends on the family, in cases some maids are like another member of the family 😉 Thanks for your videos they are fun and interesting!
It does depend on the household. Only entitled snobs treat help like machines. That's disgusting, but I did see some people doing that. I never returned to those households (nor my schoolmates after visiting!).
Here in Q Roo, until recently ATM's were giving out mostly 500's. It was frustrating for merchants and customers. Fortunately for the most part, they are now giving smaller bills. So much better.
Regarding the refusal of drinks, I'd say that the reason for this is that you don't want people to perceive you as a drunk. You risk that by saying yes to a drink straight away. It depends on the situation of course, but say, if you were meeting your in-laws and they offer you a beer, it's better to refuse and wait for a little rebuttal, something like 'Andale, una nomas', then you grab the drink. Too much refusal and they'll think you're a snob. It comes off as rude, you'll often hear: '¿Me la vas a despreciar?' If you're out with friends and they offer you a drink, no point in refusing at all. If you don't want it, you can just say 'No, muchas gracias'
La manera en que son tratadas las trabajadoras del hogar y otros trabajadores por quienes contratan sus servicios indica el tipo de personas que son. Tristemente en México hay personas clasistas, racistas o con ínfulas supremacistas de algún tipo que promueven malos tratos a los trabajadores en general. Pero también muchos mexicanos exigimos trato digno como trabajadores y lo damos a quienes contratamos. De hecho en muchas familias las trabajadoras domésticas son consideradas parte de la familia. Es importante tener presente que no existe uniformidad cultural, aunque haya rasgos compartidos por un amplio conjunto en un país o comunidad. Pero también, hay batallas culturales a partir de cuestiones ideológicas. Para muchos en México considerarnos totalmente inaceptable tratar mal a las personas y eso incluye de modo especial a las trabajadoras domésticas.
About not talking to the help, I dont think it's correct, even if you dont know them. I mean you dont want to have a full conversation with them so that they dont get distracted, but small talk is okay. Como esta, como esta su familia, sus hijos, etc. I even share meals with them sometimes. I dont want to be rude by eating in front of them, it would actually make me feel bad if someone did that to me. As long as you dont keep them from doing their job, its ok.
I live in Morelia. If I offer a drink, and they decline, I don't offer again. They answered me already. We don't have a maid, but we do invite people at the "street taco" stand, to parties we hold. We exchange stories with each other and enjoy a lot of laughter. They seem to appreciate being invited to a meal. As far as the the refrigerator requirements go, Tabasco is not the way to go. I agree with that one. There are a lot of sauces, and homemade salsas to be substituted... VIVA MEXICO 🇲🇽
Totally my favorite video of yours! On the drink thing, there should be a corollary: when you have a guest, offer them a drink and don't take "no" for a final answer😂 Don't make a guest ask for a beer if you have them.
When I am in a large super like Ley's or Soriana, I always pay with 500 no matter how small the total. I do this so I can have change for everyday expenses. Sure, most times the large stores will have to get change, but at least they will have it.
I disagree with the part about not talking to service staff, I think that is really rude and is more likely to happen in upper class; in Mexico is common that middle class families (myself included) have domestic help, for many middle class families they are our right hand, they have keys of our houses, and know how to handle everything; in my case my brothers and sister they all knew and talk freely to her; my impression is that upper classes tend to be more classist and racist, they are the ones who display this kind of rudeness; for example one time I saw a mom with her kids and the nanny and they met a mom's friend, and she did not say hello to the nanny, she acted as if the nanny was invisible. I moved to US a couple of years ago, and one thing that I really like here is that society is more equal than Mexico, meaning in the school there are families that are from a wide spectrum of income and at least here the norm is that racism and classism is wrong, whereas in Mexico many people from the upper classes are openly and proudly racist and classist, please, do not change that part of you, take the good things of Mexico, and discard what's not good.
This video is so interesting! Turning down a drink twice before accepting it on the third offer seems like a lot of game playing to me but okay! Lol I once went with my father to Mexico, Baja to be exact. I was in Tijuana but needed directions to Rosarito Beach. We stopped to ask a man who didn't speak English for directions and we didn't speak Spanish, but somehow I understood him. So he proceeded to tell me how to get there in Spanish. Keep in mind I know almost zero Spanish. The only word I understood he said was "left" in Spanish "Izquierda". But strangely enough I was able to guide my father. I said to him turn here, turn there, turn here, and we ended up on the main road that would lead us to Rosarito Beach. My father just looked at me and his jaw dropped. He didn't understand how I did it. lol
@@dissidentfairy4264 I don't either or else a lot of my friends are smarter than me or picking up a second language is easier for them. I always tried my best to learn Spanish as I felt I was missing out on so much.
I offer people drinks when they deserve it and do good for others. One expat keeps cleaning up the street outside and when he comes in the bar and sits I thank him and ask if I can buy his drink. I always ask the hostesses if they want food when I go out and get something to bring back to the bar with me - they always say "yes" and once a customer asked if she can get a taco, too, so I brought her one as well. I do not drink a lot, but if I do I pay double since the hostesses live from the tips they earn.
I’m from Mexico and never heard of those rules. As a matter of fact, declining a drink can be considered rude or giving the impression of being a stuck-up.
I am always confused about buenas dias and buenas tarde. When is the cut off time for each. Also buenas noche is it only when you or someone is going to sleep?
Mmmmm… not sure about the housekeeper thing, I have always have helped at home and we socialize with them and anyone who entered my home I would take it as rude if they actually didn’t say hi to my housekeeper. My cleaner has been taking care of my house for years and we consider her a friend.
I'm almost 2 years living in Guadalajara MX and there seems to be a protocol I'm missing about waiting to receive a written (WhatsApp or email) invitation in order to attend a small social event or visit someone's home. I have occasionally invited people over in person (orally) ( We're having a BBQ on Saturday and would love to have both you and your husband stop by...). None of my MX friends show up. I've had more than a few of those same people later say ...Oh I was waiting for an invite. Has anyone run into this?
Almost all of these are true in the US as well. Don’t use a 50 to buy a soda, say excuse me when passing closely, don’t hang out with your housekeeper. Pretty standard etiquette.
I've also heard you shouldn't say no gracias when people approach you to buy things. What I recently heard is you should always say gracias even if you aren't interested in what they are trying to sell you. Is that true?
Refusing an offer 2x before accepting is also a practice in Japan. You turn it down twice because you want to make sure the sincerely want you to have it. Because they are honor bound to offer it the first time wether they can afford to do it or not. So if it's a problem for them they've offered it the first time and meet the talent to be polite. You've turned them down because you are polite. So a second and third round take place to make sure everyone is doing and getting what they want. Though like the person earlier said today this is now more common in smaller towns and with older people. Also, we have cultural differences in manners based on region even here in the US. To a traditional southern person most Yankees seem extremely rude. Took me I while to realize they only insult you personally if they like you enough to feel comfortable with you. Saying things that would lead to a physical confrontation in the South. LoL.
There´s something here that I don´t fully understand because it seems that when you first arrive to someone´s house it´s rude to accept a drink. But later on, after being there for a while, it can be rude to decline food or drink. For example, we had 10-15 Mexicans over at our house for a carne asada (cookout) and I offered everyone a drink right away. They all declined. After a few times asking, they finally accepted. But it seemed like nobody wanted to be the first person to accept a drink.
In most houses if they offer you a drink and refuse it. They might get offended because in their mind they are thinking "oh he thinks he is to good and stuck up to accept our humble drink". It is customary to receive the drink. If its canned like a soda you accept it and take it with you. Leaving it behind would be a no no. I found this in the Oaxacan and Guerrero culture.
@@TangerineTravels They were probably being shy... it can happen. Weirdly it is also rude not to offer a drink. I dont mind being the first to accept a drink.... then again I teach 150+ kids everyday... so I need the beer more than anyone there 😅
@@mr.osunasmathematicschanne8136 Most of the people who get offended if you do not take the drink or food are people from pueblitos, city people usually don't care if you receive the drink
@@TangerineTravelsThat’s interesting, because in my experience refusing the first offer doesn’t usually apply to social events actually centred around food and drink. But yeah, I can see the not wanting to be the first to say yes to a beer. It might feel awkward to be drinking when no one else is. I’m curious if later arrivals, those who arrived when others were already drinking, also initially said no, or if they accepted the first offer. Also as the host, did you just ask or did you take out a couple of cold ones and hand them to the guests? That might result in a different response.
Good tips to know - thanks The not wearing shorts thing is true in Phoenix as well - especially in winter months when tourists come down and put on shorts. When I first moved here I was told - oh no - don't wear those shorts - people will think you are a tourist - haha
Wow. Hated to see tabaso going the trash! :-) I too am against bottled salsa. But I don't consider tabaso to be that. It's simply hot sause. (There's a difference.) I keep the stuff in my car! The refuse twice rule was enlightening. I've always been taught, in the U.S., that it is considered rude to *refuse* a host's genuine offering. In fact, you show your confidence in the relationship (even if new) by accepting the superior offering. For example, if two different beers are offered, take the classier beer. So, very glad to now know this Mexican rule!
" Always keep your shoes on indoors." This is odd-- I live in a Korean-American community, I quickly learned how rude it is to keep your shoes on while entering a Korean home.
If they´re just taking your cart or helping you back out of your parking spot, something like 2-5 pesos. If they take your cart to your car and load up the stuff into your car, I´m not sure exactly, but at least 10 pesos, maybe 20 for your average cart load. One time I bought something that was super heavy (like 200 lbs) and I gave him 100. He was VERY thankful.
@tangerinetravels Is there a place to go to that vets employees to help in the house? Do you know approximately price? Is it usually per hour? When I have had in Canada is 4-6 -8 hours and she cooks dinners cleans the next day…my recipes. How do you find someone honest? Thanks so much ! Are you living in Playa Del Carmen if I may ask… Hi to Maya!
One thing confuses me…you say the Mexican culture says you should refuse a drink 2 times and then accept the third time it’s offered, but then later you say that they won’t say no directly, so the first 2 x you are offered a drink you should say something like “I had a drink right before I got here” or “I’m not very thirsty right at the moment”…am I understanding that right?
In my experience, saying "no, muchas gracias" or "no, gracias" is just fine in that case. And regarding the people not wanting to tell you "no", I think that doesn´t typically apply questions of little importance like "may I offer you a drink?" or similar questions where a yes answer would benefit that person. Also, not everyone is uncomfortable telling you no, but certainly part of the population is uncomfortable with it.
I was born in Central America. I don't think it's a great idea to reinforce the classism/caste system that you're implying should be reinforced. Your example of don't socialize with the help later, like going out to dinner with them, is Mexico's version of racism. Do better.
good video; on the purse thing absolutely disgusting when people put their purse on floor -- then on to table - never put your purse on table regardless
I think the no-shorts custom doesn't always apply to Mexicans from large cities visiting vacation areas. We have a home in Cozumel. I often see family groups in public and the women are wearing shorts, with bikini tops with no coverups (!), speaking Spanish. In those cases, I know they are from Mexico City. Nobody who is from Cozumel would dress like that, but it is very common for Mexican visitors from Mexico City or even Guadalajara.
I mentioned in the video that the exception to the pants rule is: on sundays, kids, and at the beach. By "at the beach" I also meant in beach towns. Because when mexicans are vacationing in a beach town, they´re typically wearing shorts.
I’m from Guadalajara and even when We go to the beach or at a beach town, we have our long pants in a bag pack and change in a bathroom or the car. Because is considered disrespectful using short even in a restaurant.
Interesting contrasts -shoe thing is opposite in Hawaii/ ?asian cultures. The not talking to or socializing with domestic help would be hard. In some ways sounds like a caste system. And yeas in certain parts/generations, it happens in the US as well.
Interesting... Some 'conflicting,' double standards, masquerading as "politeness..." . Don't converse to, or be seen around "the hired help." And don't tell someone no, but refuse a drink offering, twice?? No purse or bags, on the floor... but wear outside shoes, inside... and let someone touch your bags, etc. while the grocers don't even employ them? Definitely "different" than most other places. Someone should do a "things foreigners do (elsewhere) that in considered rude, or inappropriate." LOL. (e.g. The onslaught of Mexicans here, into the US. Or the 'invasion' of refugees, into Europe, etc. It would make for a VERY LONG series, of videos. And least most people (vs. sheeple) don't just blindly, "assimilate..." in order to fit- in. "Politeness" has it's merits, and downsides. ;-)
Taking The shoes off is considered really offensive and disrespectful. Even going with flip flops to someone’s house. You have to wear close shoes or nice sandals. And don’t think going out with flip flops with socks. About the people that helps in the house it depends on the family. Some people are considered part of the family. But he means asking invasive questions like where you from and all that is disrespectful.
That true what you have said! Expect for one, if you give $2 pesos as a tip is a s###t... It's normal between 5 and 10 pesos as a tip that is acceptable.
With an average tip of 2 pesos, taking 90 carts per hour, working 10 hours a day, and 25 days per month, they’re making 45,000 pesos per month tax free. A good job for unskilled labor pays 10,000 pesos per month. If their average tip were 10 pesos, they’d be earning 225,000 pesos per month.
@@TangerineTravels no way! They earn 250 a 350 pesos a day. I know some people who works like that. If you have a chance ask them how much money they can get in a day. By the way,I like your videos.
WATCH NEXT - Unwritten Rules of Mexico (part 1): th-cam.com/video/R4_1ZI2SB80/w-d-xo.html
I was raised in Mexico from the age of 9 to 20 and disliked the fact that some people would not socialize with their domestic employees. But many do and many don't, definitely NOT a rule. Is something "people with money" do to make them selfs feel superior and that is considered "clasismo". Follow your heart on that one.
'Clasismo' exists all over the world, most often disguised as racism. Mexico is no exception, but yes, because of the abismal economic extremes amongst the population in Mexico and Latin America, clasismo is more evident. And again, not all people who have dometic employees are equal ... at all. Some families here in Mexico treat their domestic employees like family, while others make sure the boundaries are well-defined - just like anywhere else around the world. (I'm a Mexican who have lived in Mexico all of my fifty decades of existance). 😉 Great job on those videos Jordan. 👍
I think it's probably for the same reason bosses and employees limit their socializing. It's difficult to let go of someone you're friends with, but it may be necessary for the mission of the team and the company.
FYI people if your nature is to be warm and friendly do not change. The not talking to the help is very classist. It displays elitism and is just plain rude. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
I was just about to comment this while watching the video. That would be considered elitist.
My thought exactly
Ive always been friendlier with "the help" than with my own traveling companions. They always seem so happy to get a big smile and a big thank you from me.
Love this! Well said.
Yes, it is classism that started way back with the Spanish colonizers & later with their offspring.
Refuse twice before accepting a drink? That used to be the case among the older generations or maybe in smaller towns in Mexico. These days in medium- and big-size cities, you might well end up with no drink at all if you refuse the first time.
which is fine. its not like you visited for a drink. smh
yeah that is not true for most tbh
😂😂😂
That part of refusing a drink twice wasn't true in Mexico City in the 1980s. Never. I don't know about private homes in the the "Provincia," though. Sounds too weird to me. No mms!
True true but it’s still nice to be asked
#8 is classism. It’s ok to avoid personal questions because it goes both ways but small talk would be nice. They are not objects. They are humans.
No, es una cuestión cultural.
Aquí en México existe el dicho de "a comadreja a la plaza", esto es referido de que en un trabajo, tu vas a trabajar, no a compartir tu vida personal, si quieres compartir tu vida personal, eso se hace con personas más cercanas y en un ambiente más relajado.
I have a story to share with your audience. A couple of months ago, I was showing a home in Puerto Aventuras to a Canadian family whose 7yo daughter joined us for the showing. (Puerto Aventuras is an upscale residential community in the Riviera Maya.) When we entered this particular home, the owner, a lovely Mexican lady welcomed us and showed us around. All the while, her cleaning lady was busy cleaning. We briefly greeted her too. At some point, my clients asked if there was a dishwasher. The home-owner jokingly said in English pointing to her cleaning lady 'She's my dishwasher.' That was a bit awkward to say the least; hope her cleaning lady didn't understand English. As we were about to leave, my clients' adorable 7yo daughter went and hugged the home-owner, the home-owner's dog and not to forget, ran outside on the patio to also hug the cleaning lady. 🥲 This amazing child was and is full of love. To her, every being is worthy of love (and hugs.) I was really touched and you could say she taught us all a lesson that day.
Interiorized Classism it’s very common in Mexico , sadly
It is not that the cleaning woman is treated like trash but she is employed and in a working evironmnet that is proper not to be personal at all. I would not be offended if my boss was giving a tour and I was a packer for a company and he said that is my packer .. it is my job. Remember not to try to change other peoples cultures and customs just respect them to receive respect back.
@@intheuniversekey a dishwasher is an appliance. Equating a human to a machine is demeaning. Use your brain cell.
@@intheuniversekeyin mexico is offensive to say that. You have to treat others to with respect, it also depends on the tone.Mexico's motto is give respect and receive respect.
At our house we always have conversations with our nanny and even invite her and her family to our events. As for her having conversations with visitors, it’s totally up to her. She’s a human being not a robot.
One more comment on accepting a refreshment when first offered. This is applicable to visits which are either unplanned or not centred around a meal. If you are invited to an event where it is clear food and drink will be served (un cumpleaños, un almuerzo o cena, any fiesta), then this “refuse the first offer” doesn’t apply. Context matters.
Regarding #9, you'll often notice that the people outside the grocery stores are older individuals and that's the reason they are there. As older individuals it is difficult for them to find employment. They still have the personal dignity to try and earn a very meager living doing this job that they have created. They are not employees of the store nor are they compensated in any way by the store. The reality is that the very meager tip that you give these people is often the very money that buys their food for the day. I believe a tip that not only compensates them for the service they've provided, but also shows respect for their determination despite their circumstances to not give up is in order. IMHO
I hang out with my friends who are also our gardner and house cleaner... we don't consider them any lower than us and consider them family...
Soy de México y es la primera vez que escucho que no debes aceptar algo que te ofrezcan para beber hasta la tercera vez, (la tercer regla) he vivido en ciudad de México Puebla y Tlaxcala Así que seguramente es una costumbre local, creo que después de la pandemia muchos acostumbramos a dejar el calzado de la calle en la puerta y cambiarlo por sandalias, muy divertido tu canal te seguiré viendo!
My parents always told me never to accept food or drink even if you are hungry or thirsty. I always interpreted it as you don't want the host to go through any trouble. When I met my husband's family and would turn down food, they found it very rude and took it as a sign of me thinking I was too good. Both families from Mexico, one from Laredo, one from Durango. So now I just accept if I would like it to not offend or don't accept if it's not right in front of me!
Yea, I think it is rude to reject peoples' hospitality.
A lot of these things apply in Asia too.
For the 3x on a drink... My Mexican friends always bring me a drink (and/or food) without asking...they just put it in front of me while we are talking. I hope that's a sign they actually like me.
This is what I have learned to do when receiving visitors. Just give, don’t ask.
How cool!
Yes this is very true just give it and assume the guest wants a drink.
They don't really like you---They think you are more tolerable when you are drunk.
Hola, yo nací en la ciudad de Querétaro y en mi familia nunca hemos tratado a las personas que nos hacen favor de ayudarnos en los trabajos domesticos, como lo mencionan en este video, al contrario las tratamos como de la familia y las queremos mucho, lo que deberiamos hacer es estar agradecidos porque son personas que trabajan sin parar y no tienen nada de detechos ni prestaciones. Tengamos un poco de humanidad. Espero que si tienen hijos no los enseñen a menospreciar a la gente pobre.
Ignoring a person based on status or job classification in any culture is unacceptable. Rather than asking questions initially, a simple greeting or sincere compliment for a specific task completed well can help break the ice. If/when there is a need to address job performance, the task is much easier if the person knows you are concerned more about the task and not criticizing them personally. When in doubt, follow the golden rule and trust your instincts. Living in Mexico does not mean that you should strive to be "Mexican". Mexican culture is more diverse and changing all the time. Do not be afraid to be yourself even if people will know you are not from here. Who knows, some kid might say ohhhhh, we don't need to wear pants all the time. 😎
Not in India 🇮🇳
Thanks! Love your content..
I really appreciate the Super Thanks, Gail!!
My wife is from Mexico. She always tells me if you are at someone's home and they offer you food or drink, it is rude to say no. Knowing this, I can see they they want to be a good host.
Like he said, if you are with family or close friends is considered rude saying no, but if you are at a friends house you have to refuse
@@LARCK8 You refuse if they just ask, but you DON’T refuse if they actually put the food and drink on the table in front of you. Polite refusal to “Would you like something to drink?” is appropriate. But if it’s served to you without asking first, then you should absolutely accept or it’s even more rude.
Who has the time to refuse three times. My family is from Mexico and this is new to me.
Exactly
@@mwiebe2663 who puts food and drinks without asking?! You don’t know if the other person likes or dislikes it or if they are allergic. Not even my family do that. If they do that , just say politely “ no gracias, no me aparece” or “no lo consumo” and that’s it. They’ll understand
The shorts rule depends a lot on the season, where you are and the occasion. And I totally agree about saying “con permiso” when you walk past somebody in a store - my jaw dropped when you were talking about that lol. But I totally disagree about not talking with domestic workers. My cleaning lady is one of my closest friends. She’s invited me to her house many times and she treats me like one of her own family. If that makes me stand out as a gringo, so be it.
That's great she's a friend. Rules always have exceptions.
Depends of the person in Qro that section is really complicated they just come for a couple hours and left. It's no necessary a conversation.
The people, from Mexico, who do not speak to their domestic employees is because they are classist or racist, they feel superior to their employees.
3:52The housekeepers in Mexico are generally indigenous or of indigenous descent. Mexico has a huge racism problem and the rule about not talking to housekeepers or inviting them out to dinner comes from that. No one at a restaurant knows that the person you are with is your housekeeper, how could they, all the public can see is that they have a darker skin color. I would encourage you all to break this norm, these people are some of the hardest working and most trustworthy and loyal people in all of Mexico. We have had the same housekeeper for over 20 years that she is practicaly part of the family now, she has been inside our house and seen our valuables and never stolen a thing. I cannot emphasize how horrible this cultural rule is and I ask that if you can, break it and help end it
Jordan, the purse rule is used in the US in the African American culture. A black American woman will never put her purse on the floor. And people will remind you if you forget!!Our parents and grandparents taught this was bag luck. If you want money to come to you… don’t do it. Also, another reason is we don’t want to have any insect ( especially roaches) crawl into our bag and then we take it back to our home. Ugh!!
This habit comes from the really low class people, don't made it a Mexican thing.
Black women keep the purse in they hand to swing at dat ashy hoe dat jus disrespect yo weave up in here.
I'm glad to learn about this one.
Interesting side note: some of the politeness in certain cultures provides such a lack of clarity in dangerous situations that things like aviation was changed. For instance now1) Only English is spoken internationally and flight deck crew must be fluent in English. 2) crew were taught to communicate dangerous situations in ways considered rude in their culture. For example if the captain was not understanding the copilot telling him they were in immediate danger of running out of fuel. Specifically in Hispanic cultures it was considered rude for subordinates to plainly communicate to their superiors things in opposition to the superior. Similar to how you say it's impolite to directly say no, so you have to read between the lines.
This came out when they examined why certain airlines had statistically higher crashes. One example investigated was the copilot trying to tell the captain they were running out of fuel. The captain was absorbed with the tower telling them to go around one more time instead of declaring an emergency and landing the plane. The plane crashed, both pilots died and most of the passengers. It was clear from the recordings the copilot knew the danger they were in but bound by politness to communicate in ways the pilot did not pick up on.
I’ve been back-and-forth to Mexico since the fall of 2020. I always wear shorts because it is so hot in Quintana Roo. I normally hang out in playa Del Carmen. So it’s just more comfortable for me besides, when my Mexican friend in Playa del Carmen visits me at my hotel, he normally comes wearing shorts. One of my friends who is a vendor over Fifth Avenue normally is wearing shorts as well when I visit with him while he’s working. I’m just gonna continue to wear shorts because it’s comfortable for me and it’s very hot in playa. Del Carmen. Plus, I don’t like to pack a lot of clothes in my luggage because the airline charges a lot of money. Lol.
Great advices. Just one thing about not placing pocketbooks on the floor. This is not only a Mexican rule but it goes the same both in USA and many European countries. The bag is an old symbol for your wealth, savings and money. It is disrespectful to your wealth, savings and money to put it on the floor. It is also said to bring bad luck. This is not only at restuarants but also in your car. Bag is kept in a seat, not on the car floor.
Many points on this video are very true! I always say “con permiso”, whenever I pass by a stranger at the grocery store, it’s also like an acknowledgement of their presence. We, Mexicans (at least most of us), acknowledge strangers in public, when you ran into them.
I’m sorry but the not talking or enjoying a meal with help is ridiculous. I’m Mexican and my Mexican father would have smacked me for being rude to help! Haha 😊 He would definitely let me know I should NEVER think I was better than anyone else! The sun shines on all people by the grace of God!!! 😊 Poor, rich, etc. Enjoying life is for everyone! Make a friend! Por Dios! 😅
Exactly. It’s misleading to equate the practices of more caste- or class-concerned Mexicans with all Mexicans. The ones who have fought against these hierarchies are part of a long and heroic national tradition as well and it is just as Mexican.
Your father was a great man!! your comment toched my soul🙏🥲
@@ori1676 Aww 🥰!!! My dad is a great guy! Have a beautiful day! Thank for your comment. 😍
Amen and Amen
Wow, finally some actually useful info under the much-overused header! Great work!
I' m Mexican and that rule of refusing twice ...I knew it bit different...I was taught to insist only 3 times. If I was refused 3 times, it was better not to insist
That is completely ridiculous why you wouldn’t be friendly to the person that keeps your home clean, that must be a snobbish stupid thing.
In my experience, people are friendly with the help that they employ. But, they absolutely do not socialize with the people in public.
@@TangerineTravels well I find that terrible , I am Venezuelan I live in England, 22 years in this country, in Venezuela the middle class is awful they feel they are above working class and poor people so for them hanging out with their maids would be embarrassing, I guess Mexico is the same 💩
Depends on the family… someare considered part of the family… the thing is not doing invasive questions.
@@LARCK8 well why would you go around asking invading question? I am talking about not having an attitude that you feel superior because you got more money than another person and that person happen to be your employee so having a conversación out of the área of work isn’t posible because how embarrassing would be if your rich friends see you talking to a poor person, that is that attitude I am talking about.
Holy Cow! I had no idea, thank you so much!!
In US, tip is becoming a kind of rule, in Mexico you may not give tip and it is ok too… the matter of housekeepers I have never seen it, housekeepers in Mexico become strongly part of family, they are very much involve in the family matters, I think it is correct not to start a conversation with visitors as they actually are attentive to needs of visitors and situation.
Excellent. Nice production. Very well done.. Thanks.
I remember my mom saying, when someone offers you a drink of food, you always say “No”, if they insist or if they serve you after you refuse, you accept graciously and you say “Muchas Gracias”😅
I just road my motorcycle across Mexico. I found your vids invaluable for researching the trip. Thanks!
I recently moved to Mexico with my husband and as an Irish-American (we are known for our candor in all situations), sometimes it drives me crazy that people don’t just speak what is true. It’s like walking on eggshells or slow as molasses:) I know this is teaching me patience, lol
Same here. I’m smart, but I’m a fool.
Direct answers and questions are much more efficient.
The three offer rule holds true in Minnesota.
Yes it sounds so Lake Wobegon!😄
In regards to refusing the drink, now a days, well, at least my husband’s family, they wont even ask you if you want something, they put it out, serve and dont you dare to refuse it lol
This is the most important part. As the host, it’s better just to serve the food/drink, not ask.
Regarding the refusing a drink or food the first couple of times it’s offered… I’ve posted about that on social media before because it’s a thing, and is the same in Central America (at least among my Guatemalan friends). I don’t think it will necessarily be viewed as overtly rude to accept on the first offer, more that it’s kind of ingrained to say no initially as a matter of courtesy. The more important flip side of this is how you as a host react if you offer a drink and the visitor says no. This is how I discovered this “unwritten rule”. I would offer, the visitor would say no, and I’d take that at face value. A dear Guatemalan friend (who is like a sister to me) laughingly explained that I needed to keep offering. Or better yet, don’t ask. Just bring out some drinks and snacks and serve them without asking ahead of time. I’ve drank more Coke than I’d like because of this custom, because once it was served to me it felt rude to say no even if I didn’t really want it! When hosting, I will usually pour the drinks and offer them directly, glass in hand or at least place it on the table “para quien quiera”. At that point there is no problem at all with the recipient feeling the need to give a polite (fake) refusal. If they say no at that point, it’s probably genuine. However as someone above mentioned, this may be a custom that is not as common anymore in the younger generations.
I’m Mexican and didn’t know this rules.
Thank you!
Fun video! I’m Mexican and I do agree with you on most of them, these are cultural facts. But… the drink thing… I don’t think it applies everywhere, this is the first time I heard about it 🤨
About the 3 things in the fridge, I would add “frijoles” (beans) 😁 and about not talking with the maids, I think it depends on the family, in cases some maids are like another member of the family 😉
Thanks for your videos they are fun and interesting!
No beans and salsa, is a sin!
It does depend on the household. Only entitled snobs treat help like machines. That's disgusting, but I did see some people doing that. I never returned to those households (nor my schoolmates after visiting!).
Here in Q Roo, until recently ATM's were giving out mostly 500's. It was frustrating for merchants and customers. Fortunately for the most part, they are now giving smaller bills. So much better.
Regarding the refusal of drinks, I'd say that the reason for this is that you don't want people to perceive you as a drunk. You risk that by saying yes to a drink straight away. It depends on the situation of course, but say, if you were meeting your in-laws and they offer you a beer, it's better to refuse and wait for a little rebuttal, something like 'Andale, una nomas', then you grab the drink. Too much refusal and they'll think you're a snob. It comes off as rude, you'll often hear: '¿Me la vas a despreciar?'
If you're out with friends and they offer you a drink, no point in refusing at all. If you don't want it, you can just say 'No, muchas gracias'
La manera en que son tratadas las trabajadoras del hogar y otros trabajadores por quienes contratan sus servicios indica el tipo de personas que son. Tristemente en México hay personas clasistas, racistas o con ínfulas supremacistas de algún tipo que promueven malos tratos a los trabajadores en general. Pero también muchos mexicanos exigimos trato digno como trabajadores y lo damos a quienes contratamos. De hecho en muchas familias las trabajadoras domésticas son consideradas parte de la familia. Es importante tener presente que no existe uniformidad cultural, aunque haya rasgos compartidos por un amplio conjunto en un país o comunidad. Pero también, hay batallas culturales a partir de cuestiones ideológicas. Para muchos en México considerarnos totalmente inaceptable tratar mal a las personas y eso incluye de modo especial a las trabajadoras domésticas.
About not talking to the help, I dont think it's correct, even if you dont know them. I mean you dont want to have a full conversation with them so that they dont get distracted, but small talk is okay. Como esta, como esta su familia, sus hijos, etc. I even share meals with them sometimes. I dont want to be rude by eating in front of them, it would actually make me feel bad if someone did that to me. As long as you dont keep them from doing their job, its ok.
I live in Morelia. If I offer a drink, and they decline, I don't offer again. They answered me already.
We don't have a maid, but we do invite people at the "street taco" stand, to parties we hold. We exchange stories with each other and enjoy a lot of laughter. They seem to appreciate being invited to a meal.
As far as the the refrigerator requirements go, Tabasco is not the way to go. I agree with that one. There are a lot of sauces, and homemade salsas to be substituted...
VIVA MEXICO 🇲🇽
My wife just says gracias to everything and somehow people understand when it means yes and when it means no. 😂
I’m Mexican from Mexico City, and refusing a drink twice before saying yes to the offer is NOT TRUE
The shorts rule makes no sense. Its way too hot in many places to wear pants.
Totally my favorite video of yours! On the drink thing, there should be a corollary: when you have a guest, offer them a drink and don't take "no" for a final answer😂 Don't make a guest ask for a beer if you have them.
When I am in a large super like Ley's or Soriana, I always pay with 500 no matter how small the total. I do this so I can have change for everyday expenses.
Sure, most times the large stores will have to get change, but at least they will have it.
Good advice. I did not know about the paying or the refusing the first and second time…….
I disagree with the part about not talking to service staff, I think that is really rude and is more likely to happen in upper class; in Mexico is common that middle class families (myself included) have domestic help, for many middle class families they are our right hand, they have keys of our houses, and know how to handle everything; in my case my brothers and sister they all knew and talk freely to her; my impression is that upper classes tend to be more classist and racist, they are the ones who display this kind of rudeness; for example one time I saw a mom with her kids and the nanny and they met a mom's friend, and she did not say hello to the nanny, she acted as if the nanny was invisible.
I moved to US a couple of years ago, and one thing that I really like here is that society is more equal than Mexico, meaning in the school there are families that are from a wide spectrum of income and at least here the norm is that racism and classism is wrong, whereas in Mexico many people from the upper classes are openly and proudly racist and classist, please, do not change that part of you, take the good things of Mexico, and discard what's not good.
This video is so interesting! Turning down a drink twice before accepting it on the third offer seems like a lot of game playing to me but okay! Lol I once went with my father to Mexico, Baja to be exact. I was in Tijuana but needed directions to Rosarito Beach. We stopped to ask a man who didn't speak English for directions and we didn't speak Spanish, but somehow I understood him. So he proceeded to tell me how to get there in Spanish. Keep in mind I know almost zero Spanish. The only word I understood he said was "left" in Spanish "Izquierda". But strangely enough I was able to guide my father. I said to him turn here, turn there, turn here, and we ended up on the main road that would lead us to Rosarito Beach. My father just looked at me and his jaw dropped. He didn't understand how I did it. lol
I found in my travels in México, if a person knew French, they picked up Spanish much easier than those that don't.
@@sharon70418 Interesting! I had no idea. I don't know French:-)
@@dissidentfairy4264 I don't either or else a lot of my friends are smarter than me or picking up a second language is easier for them. I always tried my best to learn Spanish as I felt I was missing out on so much.
They have cart corrals in Baja Norte but the guys are still out there helping
I offer people drinks when they deserve it and do good for others. One expat keeps cleaning up the street outside and when he comes in the bar and sits I thank him and ask if I can buy his drink. I always ask the hostesses if they want food when I go out and get something to bring back to the bar with me - they always say "yes" and once a customer asked if she can get a taco, too, so I brought her one as well. I do not drink a lot, but if I do I pay double since the hostesses live from the tips they earn.
The thing about not talking to service employees is so not true.. Most people I know, treat service persons as part of the family…
I’m from Mexico and never heard of those rules. As a matter of fact, declining a drink can be considered rude or giving the impression of being a stuck-up.
1:00 I still remember that one video where May made fun of "your shitty salsa" lol
Thanks!
I really appreciate the Super Thanks, Tim!!
I am always confused about buenas dias and buenas tarde. When is the cut off time for each. Also buenas noche is it only when you or someone is going to sleep?
I wonder about that too! Especially the good night.
Nice and very interesting
Mmmmm… not sure about the housekeeper thing, I have always have helped at home and we socialize with them and anyone who entered my home I would take it as rude if they actually didn’t say hi to my housekeeper. My cleaner has been taking care of my house for years and we consider her a friend.
I'm almost 2 years living in Guadalajara MX and there seems to be a protocol I'm missing about waiting to receive a written (WhatsApp or email) invitation in order to attend a small social event or visit someone's home. I have occasionally invited people over in person (orally) ( We're having a BBQ on Saturday and would love to have both you and your husband stop by...). None of my MX friends show up. I've had more than a few of those same people later say ...Oh I was waiting for an invite. Has anyone run into this?
Vivo en Cuernavaca y con el calor que hace todos llevamos shorts o sea bermudas.
Almost all of these are true in the US as well. Don’t use a 50 to buy a soda, say excuse me when passing closely, don’t hang out with your housekeeper. Pretty standard etiquette.
My amiga always asks to use a bag hook at restaurants.
2 or 5 pesos for a person to help you to pack your food, take the trolly is a little tip is 10 pesos .
that was funny about the directions part because i had several issues on isla mujeres , its small so i figured they just did not want to help.
Purse on the floor yuke...germ carrier in any country, keep your purse off tables and countertops😮
Hmmmm....Why Stella Artois? Why not a Mexican beer?
It´s all I had in my fridge lol
@@TangerineTravels Sorry...a tad OCD today. 😂 Stella is fine.
Good call on the tipping... I agree with the idea of trying to not impose our customs on other cultures.
The drink/food three times rule applies to other cultures too.
I've also heard you shouldn't say no gracias when people approach you to buy things. What I recently heard is you should always say gracias even if you aren't interested in what they are trying to sell you. Is that true?
My favorite beer Is Stella! LOL Great video!
Refusing an offer 2x before accepting is also a practice in Japan. You turn it down twice because you want to make sure the sincerely want you to have it. Because they are honor bound to offer it the first time wether they can afford to do it or not. So if it's a problem for them they've offered it the first time and meet the talent to be polite. You've turned them down because you are polite. So a second and third round take place to make sure everyone is doing and getting what they want. Though like the person earlier said today this is now more common in smaller towns and with older people.
Also, we have cultural differences in manners based on region even here in the US. To a traditional southern person most Yankees seem extremely rude. Took me I while to realize they only insult you personally if they like you enough to feel comfortable with you. Saying things that would lead to a physical confrontation in the South. LoL.
Thanks so much for this explanation! The idea of refusing twice didn’t make sense to me until I read this.
I'm not going annnywhere that I gotta refuse a cocktail..
Not having a relationship with your help in any witch way is just crazy am glad I don’t love there am to down to earth for that crazy rule 😝
Oddly (or not, I don't know) here in Brazil most of this rules exists as well...
Weird cause my mother is Mexican and shoes are banned in the house. They have to be left at the entrance. Same thing in my house
In most Mexicans house its rude to refuse a drink if they offer it.
There´s something here that I don´t fully understand because it seems that when you first arrive to someone´s house it´s rude to accept a drink. But later on, after being there for a while, it can be rude to decline food or drink.
For example, we had 10-15 Mexicans over at our house for a carne asada (cookout) and I offered everyone a drink right away. They all declined. After a few times asking, they finally accepted. But it seemed like nobody wanted to be the first person to accept a drink.
In most houses if they offer you a drink and refuse it. They might get offended because in their mind they are thinking "oh he thinks he is to good and stuck up to accept our humble drink". It is customary to receive the drink. If its canned like a soda you accept it and take it with you. Leaving it behind would be a no no. I found this in the Oaxacan and Guerrero culture.
@@TangerineTravels They were probably being shy... it can happen. Weirdly it is also rude not to offer a drink. I dont mind being the first to accept a drink.... then again I teach 150+ kids everyday... so I need the beer more than anyone there 😅
@@mr.osunasmathematicschanne8136 Most of the people who get offended if you do not take the drink or food are people from pueblitos, city people usually don't care if you receive the drink
@@TangerineTravelsThat’s interesting, because in my experience refusing the first offer doesn’t usually apply to social events actually centred around food and drink. But yeah, I can see the not wanting to be the first to say yes to a beer. It might feel awkward to be drinking when no one else is. I’m curious if later arrivals, those who arrived when others were already drinking, also initially said no, or if they accepted the first offer. Also as the host, did you just ask or did you take out a couple of cold ones and hand them to the guests? That might result in a different response.
Good tips to know - thanks
The not wearing shorts thing is true in Phoenix as well - especially in winter months when tourists come down and put on shorts. When I first moved here I was told - oh no - don't wear those shorts - people will think you are a tourist - haha
Wow. Hated to see tabaso going the trash! :-) I too am against bottled salsa. But I don't consider tabaso to be that. It's simply hot sause. (There's a difference.) I keep the stuff in my car!
The refuse twice rule was enlightening. I've always been taught, in the U.S., that it is considered rude to *refuse* a host's genuine offering. In fact, you show your confidence in the relationship (even if new) by accepting the superior offering. For example, if two different beers are offered, take the classier beer. So, very glad to now know this Mexican rule!
" Always keep your shoes on indoors." This is odd-- I live in a Korean-American community, I quickly learned how rude it is to keep your shoes on while entering a Korean home.
Perfectly normal on Mexican culture. The floors and the entire house gets cleaned everyday. Chill.
How much is appropriate to tip the cart helpers at the grocery store?
If they´re just taking your cart or helping you back out of your parking spot, something like 2-5 pesos. If they take your cart to your car and load up the stuff into your car, I´m not sure exactly, but at least 10 pesos, maybe 20 for your average cart load. One time I bought something that was super heavy (like 200 lbs) and I gave him 100. He was VERY thankful.
Change has always been an issue in Mexico.
I’m legit putting Tabasco sauce on my fries while watching this. 😂
I was always under the impression that if someone offers you something in their home, its rude to refuse.
I am Mexican, 69 years old. I’ve never experienced the “reject an offered drink twice before accepting” NEVER
As far as having the correct change available, all the ATMs that I've been to will dispense only large bills.
Yeah 🎉, I have all 3 in my fridge 😁😋
@tangerinetravels Is there a place to go to that vets employees to help in the house? Do you know approximately price? Is it usually per hour? When I have had in Canada is 4-6 -8 hours and she cooks dinners cleans the next day…my recipes. How do you find someone honest? Thanks so much ! Are you living in Playa Del Carmen if I may ask… Hi to Maya!
Mind. Blown.
One thing confuses me…you say the Mexican culture says you should refuse a drink 2 times and then accept the third time it’s offered, but then later you say that they won’t say no directly, so the first 2 x you are offered a drink you should say something like “I had a drink right before I got here” or “I’m not very thirsty right at the moment”…am I understanding that right?
That’s along the lines of what I would say, along with “Muchas gracias” of course.
In my experience, saying "no, muchas gracias" or "no, gracias" is just fine in that case. And regarding the people not wanting to tell you "no", I think that doesn´t typically apply questions of little importance like "may I offer you a drink?" or similar questions where a yes answer would benefit that person. Also, not everyone is uncomfortable telling you no, but certainly part of the population is uncomfortable with it.
I was born in Central America. I don't think it's a great idea to reinforce the classism/caste system that you're implying should be reinforced. Your example of don't socialize with the help later, like going out to dinner with them, is Mexico's version of racism. Do better.
good video; on the purse thing absolutely disgusting when people put their purse on floor -- then on to table - never put your purse on table regardless
I think the no-shorts custom doesn't always apply to Mexicans from large cities visiting vacation areas. We have a home in Cozumel. I often see family groups in public and the women are wearing shorts, with bikini tops with no coverups (!), speaking Spanish. In those cases, I know they are from Mexico City. Nobody who is from Cozumel would dress like that, but it is very common for Mexican visitors from Mexico City or even Guadalajara.
I mentioned in the video that the exception to the pants rule is: on sundays, kids, and at the beach. By "at the beach" I also meant in beach towns. Because when mexicans are vacationing in a beach town, they´re typically wearing shorts.
I’m from Guadalajara and even when We go to the beach or at a beach town, we have our long pants in a bag pack and change in a bathroom or the car. Because is considered disrespectful using short even in a restaurant.
@@LARCK8 Then I guess all the Mexican women at the Mega in Cozumel in string bikini tops are from Mexico City!
@@TangerineTravels I guess the distinction is whether they actually live in the beach town or are just on vacation there.
I live in Durango and havent seen most of these behaviors .....maybe things are just very different in every state......
Interesting contrasts -shoe thing is opposite in Hawaii/ ?asian cultures. The not talking to or socializing with domestic help would be hard. In some ways sounds like a caste system. And yeas in certain parts/generations, it happens in the US as well.
Interesting... Some 'conflicting,' double standards, masquerading as "politeness..." . Don't converse to, or be seen around "the hired help." And don't tell someone no, but refuse a drink offering, twice?? No purse or bags, on the floor... but wear outside shoes, inside... and let someone touch your bags, etc. while the grocers don't even employ them? Definitely "different" than most other places. Someone should do a "things foreigners do (elsewhere) that in considered rude, or inappropriate." LOL. (e.g. The onslaught of Mexicans here, into the US. Or the 'invasion' of refugees, into Europe, etc. It would make for a VERY LONG series, of videos. And least most people (vs. sheeple) don't just blindly, "assimilate..." in order to fit- in. "Politeness" has it's merits, and downsides. ;-)
Taking The shoes off is considered really offensive and disrespectful. Even going with flip flops to someone’s house. You have to wear close shoes or nice sandals. And don’t think going out with flip flops with socks.
About the people that helps in the house it depends on the family. Some people are considered part of the family. But he means asking invasive questions like where you from and all that is disrespectful.
Fascinating....
You were talking about salsa then held up a bottle of hot sauce. They are different
That true what you have said! Expect for one, if you give $2 pesos as a tip is a s###t... It's normal between 5 and 10 pesos as a tip that is acceptable.
With an average tip of 2 pesos, taking 90 carts per hour, working 10 hours a day, and 25 days per month, they’re making 45,000 pesos per month tax free.
A good job for unskilled labor pays 10,000 pesos per month.
If their average tip were 10 pesos, they’d be earning 225,000 pesos per month.
@@TangerineTravels no way! They earn 250 a 350 pesos a day. I know some people who works like that.
If you have a chance ask them how much money they can get in a day.
By the way,I like your videos.