Making French Friends in France I Survival Tips and Tricks to Befriending the Parisians
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⭐Guys, is it just me or is it pretty darn hard to make friends abroad, aka just generally making friends in France? Not to mention if we take it one step further and talk about making French friends in France or Paris. I spent years trying to have good friend friends. It’s just not that easy to meet people in Paris. Some if it’s probably just being a foreigner abroad in France and some of it’s definitely related to the culture differences of how to make friends in France. Today’s video touches on both the cultural shocks and differences of making friends abroad in France and some tips and tricks to make it a bit easier.
This video is absolutely a subject that needs suggestions from others because while I have friends ELEVEN years later, I can’t say that making French friends or making new friends in Paris was particularly easy for me! So i'll find you in the comments below!
#makingfrenchfriends #makingfriendsinfrance #howtomakefrenchfriends
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When I first lived in France, my friends were mainly expats. I now live in a village of 800. My husband and I are very involved in our village’s activities. There was a potluck in the town square while my mother was visiting and we went! I made macaroni and cheese and chocolate cupcakes. The lady sitting next to my mother had 2 helpings of the mac and cheese. 3 ladies came up and complimented the cupcakes. Our pharmacist sat next to me and we chatted about health care. Our closest friends are a chef-Irish-and her partner-French. We do speak English when we are together, but my husband will chat in French to the partner. BTW-we hosted a Thanksgiving dinner and invited neighbors. For 5 of the 11 dinner guests it was their first!
I am french, I moved from Britanny (western France) to Metz (Eastern France) three years ago, and I still have no friends here.
It's because I didn't go to school in there nor to university. My colleagues at work are older than me.
So, it's not because you're a foreigner that you can't make friends, it's rather due to the fact that you didn't grow up in that city.
It's different in Paris! I will explain: for some reason we're often portrayed as being rude and unfriendly but you're actually more likely to make friends in Paris. I have one childhood friend but *all* my other friends are people I met in adulthood. I think Parisians are most used to meeting people and really letting them into their lives no matter the age. It happened to a friend of mine: she's from the south, moved here to Paris when everyone warned her against it. I felt sorry for these people as I thought they'd had bad experiences in Paris and she told me the people who warned her had never been to Paris. She still came to Paris (for work reasons) and made solid friendships. I think there's less expectations here that close friends are only the ones you make in childhood. We might seem less "friendly" at first than people in other regions BUT we really welcome people. Half of my closest friends come from other regions in France and moved to Paris for work. My partner (who's Irish) would like to relocate to a different city because of the cost of housing but I am very reluctant. The number of comments I read about hating Parisians does not make want to go for sure but it's also because my friend from the south told me it was SO hard to make friends as an adult in the South. People are friendly but it doesn't mean they're your friends, it's more of façade... I will go to other cities on holiday though, France is such a beautiful country and I'm always happy to visit!
Hiiii
Being "over friendly" (Aka American friendly) in France with a stranger is seing as hypocritical, fake.. Culturaly we are taught not to "be nice" or make others comfortable but to show them respect. That's why greetings, acknowledgement of the other with words like "Bonjour" as a starter of any relation, even in a shop, is MANDATORY. If you don't, you show disrespect, you are being rude.
Good reminder as it is not an obvious thing for them 😉😁😂
Its so true, making others comfortable is a hugely drilled in American habit. It is viewed as extreme immaturity to pass a bad mood or experience to someone else. That you majorly failed to adult and find the positivity. Children get punished if they are overly negative, as its viewed so poorly.
@@lijohnyoutube101 I would have been even more punished in States than in France 😂 I always search issues before good things. Funny thing, as I manage, vit is quite positive as it helps to prevent problems 😇. This is why I found this positive attitude almost a religious stand and very hypocrite.
I'd say that we are the same in Italy :)
"Winner, winner, chicken dinner." Kate you are such an American.
And the good news is if you can swim in the French pond so can others. Merci.
Very simple 😁 It takes time. Because we do not take friendship like you. A I take and throw when I do not see the person. I work for more than 25 years. During this time I consider that I made less than 6 people I call friend. But a friend in France is someone that you can call at 11pm after not giving news for 2 years and asked you help as the person is in a lot of problems.
In fact friendship in France is equivalent for family for you and perhaps more. So yes we do not have a lot of friends😂
One last thing, the origin of a person as nothing to do with it. It is hard for anyone even French 😂
Update : found the right comparaison, French friendship is like trying to be part of mafia 🤣
Thank you for sharing! Actually in Germany I made friends at work. I realized there are different of colleagues & I met two extremes at lunchtime : one told me literally everything about his wife’s c-section and at the other end of the spectrum an other coworker just wanted to talk about work or small talk like music. So I also would say it depends on the people and the area you are working.
Yes! This ! "Framily" 's the perfect word to describe the friends I met when I lived abroad. Those bonds are unbreakable.
Bonds are breakable over time.
Some excellent, practical, common sense advice about making friends almost anywhere, but with some useful insights into France-specific relationship culture. Also good, relevant comments in that section -and I, too, loved the "chicken dinner" reference. That said, I trust that the presenter's actual spoken French pronunciation is better than the one she uses in the video. Bonne continuation à tous.
Just walk around with mime makeup while crying so your eye makeup runs down your face , then walk up to people and ask while bawling 😭,” will you be my framilly “
Thanks so much! That was the most helpful video of yours I have watched (and I've watched all of them)... It was even more useful than when you taught me the word, empechement :)
As a French, I do appreciate alot the fact that you make efforts to speak an english (american) truly easier to understand. I mean, you articulate your words and pronounce them ENTIRELY and SLOWLY enough to hear all of them ! I have been expatriate in Germany for several years (1997 to 2001). I was able to easy write in english, to speak english with an awful french accent, but I was lacking the 3rd most important ability about english : to hear it. I was serving in french forces based in Germany, I used to work with all NATO forces (mostly Americans, then British and Germans and also few Belgians). The main language used was english (even with Belgians, which wasn't going without some funny anecdotes or laugh by American-British soldiers : "hearing" a French and a francophone Belgian exchanging in english was somewhat hilarious for them ;) ). I had learnt German during 2 years and was able to hold basic talk with locals, and when blocked, english language was helping, Germans are like the french people when at home, if you're able to make effort to talk in their language, they do all to help... but if you considere that French have an obligation to speak english in France or that German have forcely to speak english ( or french) in germany, then you're totally wrong.
I did have lots of german and american friends. BUT when I passed 6 months in an american base, I was the alone french NCO (Staff sergeant) in the base of the 1st US armoured cav brig. My first week was a nightmare. I was able to speak it and to be understood despite this awful french accent. The frustrating thing was that as I was able to be fluent both "gramarly" (not sur eof the term, but I don't use any translator, I guess/bet you will understand then) and regarding the vocabulary. The american soldiers I met were speaking super fast, and to be honest, i have no clue what they were saying half of the time. BUT miracle arrived then... after 2 weeks, "au pied du mur" as we say in France, suddenly, obliged to speak and to hear english everyday, the "déclic" arrived and like if I have push the right button, all went great. American soldiers explained me the problem I knew in firts place : that as my english structure was so great despite my accent, they thought I had a good level to hear it, then they didn't do any effort at the beginning.
I don't regret at all this experience. I share your "assomption" about the fact of the cultural difference. I agree it was up to me to make efforts to understand and be understood as I did the choice to live in a foreign environment. And when you do efforts, when you're sincere, things go right, naturally, : The foreigners (in great majority) will help. Tout efffort n'est pas vain et toute bonne action reçoit un jour son lot de récompense. (All efforts are useful, and all good will (or actions) always receives his right rewards - If I did a bad translation, and as I want to continue to improve my english, as I saw your pretty level ability, You may help me by giving me a better translation, I am "preneur" :) Je ne prendrais pas la mouche, promis ! ;) )
I think Americans are more like " one step forward...and two steps back " and French are " one step back then two steps forward "
I've never been outside the US, but I've got the "don't be American-friendly" part in the bag, lol! I'm a 90th percentile introvert. I couldn't do the "Oh, we have the same birthday! We're besties!" thing if I tried. In that regard, I'd fit right in.
Now, the "making the first move" part, on the other hand--that would be where I would struggle!
In France, when you've got someone you never met before coming to you with "a too forced smile" you are wondering: "What does he want to sell me ?". 😁
Well, if the discussion is about culture, you can suggest going together to see an exhibition or a movie that interests you. If the discussion is about cooking (very often in France), you can suggest that the person come and taste an American specialty that they do not know and that you know how to make or that you have at home. If you are talking about clothes, jewelry or other women's business, you can ask to go shopping together ...
It's not that hard to take the first step.
I thought joining a sports club (badminton) would be a good way to meet people but here in Paris, at least, it hasn't worked out. Applications to join clubs citywide are centralised through an online portal: firstly, there was just a 2-week window in September to apply; if accepted you had to sign up and pay for a whole year (expensive & no tryout period) and you were competing with all the club's regulars who got priority re-subscription. One club had 200+ applications for 20 spare places. And I needed a medical certificate from my doctor to say I was fit to play (a certificate that was only valid for badminton btw, not for any other activity I might have tried). I didn't get in anywhere.
Is this method of joining a club typical around France or or is it a peculiarity of Paris? I'll try again next year but meanwhile I feel pretty frustrated.
Hi, You are as American as it can get ; )
Thanks for the video, it helped me appreciate where I find myself today after almost five years in France. I have a good number of friends but I always felt that I have some problem that I dont have more of them!! Your video helped me understand the cultural aspect! Cheers !! : )
I've been in France coming on 16 years... moved here at 39 starting in a small village of 500 (with a non-English-speaking French husband) then moving by myself to Paris in 2012. I have really struggled with friendships here in a way I haven't my whole life back in the US. I'm now 54.
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I have had French friends, American friends, German, British, etc here. I think the biggest challenge is that the friends I've had for life from the US (25-50 years of friendship) have been people I either went to school with or worked with, where we got to know each other slowly before we were "friends". So by the time we were friends, we really had that solid base.
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When you're living somewhere else - even in your home country - where you don't have those same routines (I now work 100% remotely for a US company, no kids at home, etc) - you don't get those frequent, unscheduled run-ins that are usually the springboard for deeper friendships.
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So you meet expats (who come and go) or become "friends" with people you really don't have much in common with ( like "Ooooh we share the same birthday, let's be friends!" haha)
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It's really a challenge and the only persistent problem I've had living here.
as you say so well, as an adult it is difficult to make friends when you leave your community.
The Dordogne is a region where a lot of English have settled and it's sad but you have villages or towns with English quarters where even the traders are English because some of them, even after 20 years, do not still do not speak French. How do you want them to have French friends? In general I would say that the French make an effort to meet these people, but when you see that there is no effort on the other side: you give up! and you find that very rude.
In France we make the difference between an acquaintance and a friend. We love sincere and loyal friendships. When we are friends, we can be counted on 200%.
M'ont joie St Denis, boutons les anglous hors de notre beau royaume 😂
@@khaelamensha3624 très drôle lol mais j'adore tous le monde même les anglais.j'espére que tu n'as pas pris mon commentaire comme anti anglais?
@@korrigan6698 j'ai lu votre commentaire ? Bon "un anglais reste un anglais" ils seront toujours aussi imbus , arrogants , présomptueux de leurs passer pas très glorieux : massacres des Moa Moa au Kenya , Isandhlwana , la famine en Irlande au XIXème siècle , Dunkerque etc.... bref ce sont des anglais !!!! En Bretagne dans un village côtier important , ils ont voulu mettre union-jack sur le fronton de la mairie
@@ybreton6593
Mdr s'il vous plait n'oubliez pas l'histoire violente de la France, je déteste les anglais mais les français sont tout aussi désastreux avec leur colonialisme, traite négrière, génocides, massacres, atrocités, ségrégation dans leurs colonies
@@folk2630
Tout à fait d'accord avec toi , les Français ont des réactions timides , réservée serait le mot le plus juste , au premier abord , mais assez rapidement un contact plus chaleureux amènera à des rapports d'amitié ou devenir du copinage . Par contre on attache une très grande importance à la fidélité et l'honnêteté , ceci , gage d'une amitié qui peut durer une vie .
Very good idea to have made this Video ! Some kind of of french are much more difficult than orher .or either strange just after? I still ask me why? Even much more difficult than in others countries as I have personaly Experiment and till now I am bored about .
Hi Kate, I signed up for the 7 day trial for Lingoda but unfortunately they only go up to B level. I was hoping for more advanced classes so I canceled :/
Tu as tout à fait raison de souligner l'importance de faire l'effort de parler français. Même, et surtout, si c'est un mauvais français, tout le monde appréciera le geste et aidera spontanément à l'amélioration.
Pour le relationnel il faut aussi avertir tes compatriotes que bien que la France soit un petit pays par rapport aux USA, les différences culturelles sont très marquées entre régions.
Il est plus facile et plus rapide de se lier avec des gens du Nord qu'avec des gens du Sud. Il faut le savoir, c'est comme cela.
Et puis surtout, si un américain vient en France, qu'il évite de ne parler que de PARIS. Même les gens de la région parisienne qui sont souvent issus de la province n'aiment pas que tout ne tourne qu'autour de PARIS. Sinon, il risque fort de se voir affubler de l'étiquette BOBO.
Ou Bien de
Pas faux et d ailleurs moi qui ait grandi à Paris j en traite un paquet de bobos 😂 Bon je suis légèrement sauvable puisque j allais voir mes grands parents à Lyon et en Bourgogne 😉
I'm so much sorry I would ask you a question.
The word especially you pronounce like "ikspeshely" is this the way, how i have to pronounce this?
I'm not the native English speaking person,so can you explain it to me please.
Is there an app for meeting friends as expat?
1) Have you noticed that "friends" and "France" have a very close and nearly similar pronounciation ?
2) i don't know about the US, but in France, do never ( absolutely NEVER !) try to mélanger politics, business, work, money, and religion with friends or famiily : it always ends badly.
I thought the French could easily talk about politics and religion with friends and family, and still remain friends even after heated arguments?¿
Is that no longer the case in France/changing in France?
Tu devrais ouvrir une deuxième chaîne en français j'ai écouté deux de tes vidéos elles sont intéressantes les autres je comprends rien j'aime pas l'anglais je sais pas le parlé j'ai jamais voulu parler anglais pourtant mon grand-père était anglais si tu fais des vidéos en français ça m'intéresse 😘
I'm French and I struggle making friends... :)
It depends on what you expect from friends. Personally, I have friends for 30 years that I had known at university. We don't see each other often because we now live in the 4 corners of France, but for 30 years we have seen each other regularly when we are going to spend a few days of vacation with each other and we have shared the main highlights of life (weddings, birth of children, important birthdays ...). Subsequently, I have extra-professional friendships with people I have known at work and who don't live very far from where I live, we often see each other to share a meal at a restaurant or at home.
ohoo.sorry that.
But My friend s communication matters.mean
While am sorry for that interaction, am nakie zibel from africa.a country Uganda capital city Kampala.
Am born again Christian I would like to join you or to be come yor friend in Christ.
You say be ready to debate your opinions. I love a good debate if it stays that way. I find in America that if you debate that you loose friends. People (at least in my area) tend to be very passionate about their opinions. Is this just a human thing or is it just a my culture thing?
You are welcome in France, we love so much debate that we even the ideas we are against 😂
When you put 2 french in a room, you get 3 different opinions
Oui , c'est dur de se faire des amis et peut importe les nationalités du moment qu'ils font des efforts d'apprendre le français (pays européens , américains nord-centre-sud , asiatiques) quand aux anglais , eux ! même au bout de plusieurs décennies , ils ne feront aucuns efforts ; donc ???? effectivement il est mal vu de parler : argent et religion ; quand nous parlons de politique ? bien sûr nous allons avoir des discutions très très animer en ayant généralement un verre de bon vin à la main , même si nos opinions divergent au bout de cinq minutes c'est oublié , ils n'y aura pas de rupture dans nos amitiés
Il me semble que vous avez eu des mauvaises expériences auprès les Anglais. Plus de 300 000 de nous habitent ici et, tandis que, certes, il y a des communautés monolingue anglais, il y a également nombreux Anglais qui se sont bien intégrés et qui parlent du français assez bien, sinon courrament.
Je suis en accord qu'on devrait faire l'effort de s'intégrer mais priez de reconnaître que pas tout le monde ne conforme à la stéréotype de
' l'Anglais à l'étranger'.
@@pathallam986 Merci Pat , d'avoir pris le temps de répondre à mon commentaire ; bien sûr se n'est pas une généralité ! dans les régions ou les britannique achètent des villégiatures Bretagne (ma région), Dordogne, Gers vos concitoyens sont entre sois , pour arrondirent des fin mois ils proposent des cours d'anglais , dans les commerces beaucoup d'affichettes proposent des cours . J'avais mis des affichettes , proposant des cours de français pour les britanniques établies en Bretagne , qui n'ont rencontrer aucun succès auprès d'eux par contre j'ai eu un couple de médecins Syriens et deux Vietnamiennes
Conseils pour les américains de france fans d'armes, les clubs de tirs sportif français sont très sympathiques. (Et remplis de gentils papy geek d'armement US)
Iam from Sudan 🇸🇩
iam from india i love france and its people but dont have a friend there
and I thought most French kids ( or any other nationality ) all had 2548 “friends” they have neither met or seen in person ???
strange
I don't think it's more difficult to making friends in France than the US
Be frank.
Excellent advice, work everywhere 😉
"French friends in France"...say it 3 times fast 😁
So be blessed in Jesus'name..
Hi, I am french, I don't know why but I like to watch your videos. May be because american's girls are so different and sexy...C'est tout ce que j'ai a dire gros bisous😅
Toi on te voit arriver avec tes gros sabots 😉🤣😂😇
@@khaelamensha3624 Et qu'est-ce que tu vois venir? Moi je vois rien venir...😅
@@steebes ben une mauvaise intuition alors... M arrive souvent 😇😁😂
@@khaelamensha3624 J'ai juste dit que j'aimais les américaines rien de plus😉
i agree knowing the language of the country you are living in is a necessity to live in a foreign country. i don't mind you mention Lingoda. i know you are getting a financial kick back from Lingoda but you are talking about this company just too much. it is a huge turn off.
There are tons of anglophones in Montreal who don't speak French because it is not really necessary to speak French.
How to make French friends? Speak French and be yourself. It's not rocket science.
You are still pronouncing the word "especially" with an X. There is no x.
@Oxy Cat The US, and it's wrong.
Its a midwest thing. I am from the midwest as well and it’s how I say it as well.
Language in general has huge regional differences especially in huge geographical areas like US.
Your right/wrong is kind of an immature/naive way of viewing the world.
Why being friends with them ? They are RUDE and ARROGANT
Redpill