How to get respect from the French
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
- Some people believe the French are rude.
Usually, though, that stems from a cultural misunderstanding, differences in the way the French see the world around them and the way maybe you do.
Allow me to peel back a layer or two of the French mentality to give you a peek into ways you can get the French to respect you. I'm not talking simple little tips like always saying 'Bonjour' and 'merci' here -- I'm talking about understanding some deep-rooted differences when it comes to things like personal space and politeness.
Understand how personal space is different in France, particularly in shops and cafes, where respecting boundaries is crucial. The French prioritize refinement and respect. Acknowledging others regardless of language barriers is important, with politeness being more important than fluency in French. Adapt to the French concept of time, where punctuality varies depending on the context -- and where work-life balance is highly valued. Recognize the dual levels of conversation in France, between polite exchanges and engaging in playful debates.
0:40 Respect comes from being reliable, honest, and considerate.
1:06 Personal space in France is intimate, especially in public settings like cafes and the metro.
2:00 Entering a French shop is like entering someone's home; respect their space.
3:06 ️ The power dynamics in French shops are different; it's not rudeness but a cultural difference.
3:37 Politeness is formal in France, reflecting mutual respect.
4:14 Money isn't king in France; politeness and refinement are valued.
5:07 Out-politing someone in a conflict can be effective in France.
5:31 ️ Using 'vous' instead of 'tu' maintains politeness; ask before switching to 'tu'.
6:43 Acknowledging people and being polite is more important than speaking French perfectly.
7:13 Attitude matters more than language in France.
7:42 ️ Punctuality is important, but French work-life balance includes lots of holidays.
9:01 ️ Respect French people's vacation time; it's a cultural norm.
9:35 Conversations in France often include playing Devil's Advocate for fun.
10:35 ️ Recap: Respect personal space, be polite, acknowledge others, understand French time, and navigate conversations in two levels.
10:59 Six things not to do
** Shot on an iPhone, edited on an iPad with LumaFusion **
Music via Artlist.io
- "Arriba!" by Randy Sharp
- "Bank Robbery Escape" by Jakub Pietras
- "Goodness Gracious" by Louis Adrien
- "Carnaval" by Stefano Mastronardi
- "DABOOMJIGGLE" by Out of Flux
- "Tribe of Fire" by Noa Zulu
- "Paris" by Serge Quadrado
- "For a Fistful of Spaghetti" by Sémø
- "Thought You Should Know" by Jim Swim
- "Comme Ci Comme Ca" by Terry Poison
- "Jambo Mambo" by River Lume
- "Nice and Easy" by Louis Adrien
- "March of the Toy Soldiers" by Ace
Best understanding of French people I ever heard (and I am French).
Merci Franck, votre commentaire est encore plus apprécié parce que vous êtes français !
@@amusingaidathis is the best explanation I have heard. I spent a year in France getting peed off with the French attitude but once you get your head round how they see things it helps a lot. We're split by a small channel but the UK and France is so different culturally/courtesy-wise.
@@aldozilli1293 Yes! And things went a lot smoother then?
@@amusingaida Je crois que oui 😁
Pareil que Franck. Parisien de naissance, je suis absolument bluffé, en particulier pour la partie sur les boutiques comme espaces privés. Observations très fines. Si vous n'êtes ni anthropologue ni romancière, vous devriez y penser! 🙂
To be polite in France is to show respect and formality and not to be overly friendly ( superficial).
Yes! Exactly !!!
Oui ! Exactement !!!
We just don't like faking sociability like people do in England for example. If we don't like you, we will not smile at you. I f we like you, we smile at you and we are already a bit friends (you can propose a glass of wine at that time and you have a new friend)
Extremely funny as French people are the fakest of them all and yes I’m French
That is actually so true. I didn't really realize that until I went to Ireland, where everyone is sooooooo friendly. They're really kind, don't get me wrong, and I was a fair bit more shy back then, but it made me a little uncomfortable. I still tried to answer in kind but it felt unnatural to me.
And for all our American friends visiting France here is a tip: being discreet in public transport or in a waiting room is a sign of respect for others people around you. Being loud will be taken as if you own the place and don’t give a damn about others.
Fellow Americans...yes...please lower your tone in all of Europe. It makes us look childish, not powerful.
Like in Japan. But in Japan it is much much more important than in France.
Frenchs are loud too when being abroad. I noticed that while living in Netherlands, I thought it was a general rule of not be understood make you wrongly feel having no interaction.
@@LionelPalazzi Correct. Some french are loud and sometimes unkind. Like everywhere actually (except Japanese) ;)
What I like about the french is indeed their politeness. When you leave à shop for instance they say " Merci bonne journée " If they haven’t got what you’ré looking for, they say " je suis désolé (e) " if you get lost they’ll go out of their way to show you the directions and sometimes take you where you’re going . They are genuinely anxious to help .. Of course there are some rude people too like anywhere else ....
As a frenchman, I can say the video is pretty true. The common consensus is that parisians are snobs, and anglo-saxons are dull. We provide respect if we think you're outside of the consensus. A warm parisian or a quiet american will always get respect.
That's a good observation (and I can certainly vouch for the inaccuracy of some consensus préjugés)
a "quiet" american?
As a French person, I officially stamp my seal of approval on this! 🇫🇷🥖
That's a proper seal of approval. Merci infiniment !
Here is one more defining characteristic - elegance. Elegance in manners, dress, etiquette, speech and just about anything that counts.
@@DJ-hf3qq a great thing to aspire to, yes
@@DJ-hf3qq Exactly. Even the cashiers at the supermarket are most of the time very friendly, polite and "elegant". You hardly ever meet one that gives you a feeling of hating the job.
When I was in France in 2022, my first visit, I didn’t find anyone to be rude. Everyone was very kind to me.
It would be extremely tough to find everyone being rude. Come back for more visits and each time your appreciation and insight will grow!
@@amusingaida that is my hope and plan
I guess yu didnt take the train where they all look like a hord of cattle pushing each other...lol...
You've definitely captured the spirit of French culture and unwrapped all its little secrets.
Not all the secrets, I'm sure! Hopefully I'll have more to come up with for future videos...
In Mexico politeness and friendliness is extremely important!
For instance; In a restaurant when you finish your meal before you leave it is a common practice to tell the people sitting close to you "Buen Provecho" or Enjoy your meal.
Also, in grocery stores elderly people work for free bagging your groceries and it is polite to leave a tip as they do not make an income.
Using formal vocabulary such as "Usted" (Vous) instead of TU (the same in French) is polite when meeting strangers or elderly people to show respect. You must greet people before asking a question and saying thank you is a must or you will be looked at as rude and disrespectful.
Just a little of another culture with very strong values and traditions!
Yes -- I loved my visit to Mexico City, where I found some point in common, and many differences of course, with France. Such a cool place, D.F. (at least the parts I got to see)
Loved this country and its inhabitants...
@@pinkworld9384
I do not think the French politeness can be compare with anyone else's. They are different, and have nothing in common with Hispanic/Latin american culture.
@@PablaMMoore I beg to differ. French here, that is half Portuguese, and I've lived in Spain. For sure French are more formal than other latins, but most is similar. I understand modern Spanish or Portuguese are less formal than they use to be ("usted" or "voce" are not as common). On the contrary Latin American countries have kept this use, which is closer to modern day French. Hence sometime the misunderstanding.
@@PablaMMoore
As an addition to the useful comment above, Mexicans love and respect witty banter. Elegant and witty use of language is regarded as a heightened social tool. Of course, if you’re not fluent in the language, you will never be able to realize this.
The love of language includes playing devil’s advocate and also killing the enemy with politeness. An example of a thing you may see in Mexico is when someone who works in the service industry is very unhelpful , the customer won’t tell them how awful they were but rather will finalize the conversation with a smile by saying “ I owe you all my gratitude for how helpful you’ve been today”.
Neither French nor Mexican would have ever started the sentence the way you did “I don’t think…” No one cares what you think, first you have to make the other person care about what you think, and that is an art. So a French or Mexican would start the sentence with “unless there is more that I don’t know, I don’t see xyz” or would at the very least excuse themselves right off the bat before starting an argument so as to make it great for everyone.
Finesse at the table, on your palate and on your plate is another great similarity between Mexico and France. Two countries with great culinary traditions and finesse in table manners and social culture. We are talking about two of the heightened cultures of our planet.
Great respect for one’s own culture and history and also for each other’s historical heritage, although of course not all countries can boast such rich heritages as Mexico or as France or have been able to withstand the stampede of ignoble values and influence coming from the Unites States with its emphasis on empty consumerism and superficial and many a times unethical values which champion greed over harmony and the individual over the community.
There that is another one for you, Mexico and France both champion the community over the individual. Neither walk around feeling entitled, making noise, speaking loudly at their phones where they bother others like Americans love to do or speak loudly at the table like also Americans love to do so that everybody can hear them. This doesn’t happen in these countries. The basic rules of politeness and privacy apply in every public space be it trains, street, planes, restaurants, etc.
Neither French nor Mexicans like to bother social acquaintances with their personal issues. Never would you hear a neighbor greeting a fellow neighbor asking how they are doing only to hear “I just got diagnosed with prostate cancer.” Unheard of in France and in Mexico. But meet an American for the first time at an airport and inquire why they’re traveling and they’ll answer just that.
The list can continue, but let’s hope you get the point and I leave you with a last but not least which is how well read common Mexicans and common French peoples are about history, politics, philosophy, poetry, cinema, theatre: all types of cultural and historical texts are read and discussed as a normal part of daily interactions at cafe’s, metros, taxi cabs, friends’ tables, etc I would tell you to try it, but you probably aren’t fluent in both French and Spanish.
French and Mexicans are both cultured people of deep roots in social correctness and in the idea of respecting people’s places and hierarchies and there is a long history of affinity between the two countries. So yes, they do share many essential similarities in their way of being polite, in their être so to speak, each of course with their own beautifully particular flavor.
As an aside:
Simply put it’s not possible to group Mexico and Latin American countries all in one entity. It’s a very ignorant stance.
I love your video. You are so accurate about us and that’s amazing because i never thought of some of the things you said because they are obvious to me, but they are not for a foreign visitor. I never thought that much of being polite in any circumstances as a key, even if i use it everyday to calm down rude or irritated people. What you also say about the stores is so relevant. Customer is not a king in France because money is not what matters more, having respect and treating someone as an equal is 😂😂
Thanks - some of this is what strikes me when I'm away from France for a while then return and feel the cultural re-adaptation.
In my experiences it more often feels like the customer is seen below the service worker. This is particularly bad in Paris.
In professional settings I've experienced cases where managers of people higher up the chain won't e-mail colleagues down the chain because they are considered beneath them and thus not worthy of their acknowledgment. Extreme I know and very frustrating, but acceptance and understanding of how things are do help one to integrate.
Brillant. Très bonne explication. God we had so many fights with my spouse at the beginning (I'm the weird French), due to these misunderstandings. I spent ten years trying to explain the devil's advocate concept and had not found a single video about it! Really good contents.
I'm glad I contributed to settling a marital row (I hope!). Cultural misunderstandings are all the more nefarious because they fly below the radar of acquired learning. But hopefully there's some understanding in your home now about the mental duelling involved with conversation...
Likewise, I had a French girlfriend for several years and we fought a lot over stupid stuff like this. I think British and French romantic relationships don't mix very well to be honest, although I've had good French male friends so hope I'm wrong. I'm now with a Latin girl and we never fight. The cultures compliment each other.
@@aldozilli1293ahahah... I totally understand cultural hiccups in a relationship. Even innocuous words or sayings can go off like a grenade...
@@amineouazad886 ha ha. There is a very funny video on line of Marina Rollman who is Swiss talking about this. She describes it as a sort of verbal martial art when French people come together - one of them lances la pique and throws in a controversial statement, then everyone engages in a fierce and angry debate, until… someone announced that the dessert is served and they all go back to being friends 😂😂
@@DJ-hf3qq yeah it s typical french family meeting ^^ we french love to argue especially about political topics.
I had à taiwanese girlfriend ten years ago and she really didnt understand this.
As a Canadian who lived and worked in Paris for 20 year your video is spot on. I had to expain these points to Canadians many times, good job!
Glad to hear confirmation! It is this whole world under the surface, but a lot of fun to navigate...
For well over 30 years that I've been traveling to France and knowing French people, my experiences have been overwhelming positive. However, there a have also been a few albeit rare times when I experienced some really nasty behavior. Living in the US all my life, I have also experienced and occasionally still do encounter some unpleasant people. Overall, France and the French are amazing.
Yeah, unfortunately just about everyone here is going to say they found unpleasant behaviour in France... and in any other country they have spent extensive time in. The range of people you get, I guess. But a positive outlook and a brain that lets you immediately forget the unpleasant ones are my little secrets!
@@amusingaida But if people are honest, they could probably say the same thing about the city they live in. Actually, I know quite a few people who traveled to France and did not encounter negative behavior. Honestly, I found in France people to be kind for the most part.
yes, and let's let them stay so not migrating there
@@amusingaida hmm.., but have you not even noticed that French from one part of France, even dislike those from another? "Plouc du nord" for example? And no one really likes the parisiennes when they holiday in other parts of France.
The départemental codes on number plates helps amplify this.
@@Madoldcatlady I have never, ever heard anyone denigrate les gens de Lille or elsewhere in the north as des 'ploucs'. Maybe I've had a very sheltered experience in my travels. As for the animosity towards Parisiennes.... again, I've actually never encountered that. I understand that there is an initial wariness, seemingly based on stereotypes and préjugés, but in face-to-face interactions it's not a thing. Yes, there are the départemental codes on number plates... but many Parisians don't own a car, and simply rent one when they need to (and those number plates almost never have 75 on them anyway)...
Québécois, j'ai vécu en France, à Paris et à Grenoble, presque un an du début au milieu des années 90 et tous ces points étaient déjà valides. Il est assez simple de s'y faire respecter si on les respecte... surtout si on se plait au jeu du débat. :-) Il existe bien sûr un univers dans lequel on connecte immédiatement, surtout entre jeunes, et où le «tu» vient quasi-automatiquement. Il ne faudrait pas penser que le formalisme est immuable. Il s'agit davantage d'être sensible à son environnement, comme partout quand on voyage : écouter, regarder, mimer un peu sans exagérer (ne pas devenir une caricature)... et simplement demander quand on n'est pas certain des limites. Bravo pour ton vidéo.
Valides dans les années 90, valides maintenant je pense. Le respect d'autrui se trouve au coeur de l'expérience !
Bonjour alcibiade , au risque de paraître prétentieux j'aimerais reprendre ta prononciation : ont ne dit pas " j'ai vécu a Paris et a Grenoble " mais " j'ai survécu a Paris et a Grenoble " cette légère nuance fait toute la différence ;)
Mdr wtf 😂 nope "j'ai vécu" est bien mieux. Il essayait de vous faire une blague ici, mais sans savoir si vous l'avez comprise ou non, je préfère vous dire que la manière correcte est bien "j'ai vécu" ^^
"J'ai survécu" sous-entend que vous avez eu une très mauvaise expérience dans ces villes, qui a failli vous tuer
@@shakaponk5609 J'ai adoré les deux villes, vraiment. Pour moi, c'était loin de signifier survivre, même si mon passage à Paris était un peu sans le sou. Je m'y suis fait de bons amis et y ai passé des moments qui font partie de mes meilleurs souvenirs. J'ai voyagé beaucoup, mais entre bien des pays, mes séjours en France furent heureux.
Bonjour, Je ne pensais pas que nos cousins québécois avaient une matière si différente de la notre.
C'est vrai entre jeune on se tutoie naturellement mais personnellement je trouve le "vous" plus élégant. Et ça fait plaisir à ces dames. Je leur de la ma dame et elle me renvoie du jeune homme. Tout le monde sourit, tout le monde est content. Merci de rien. Bonne journée.
Hi from Australia Aida. I have recently discovered your channel and I have to credit you for the great content, presentation style and camera work! I have recently returned from 2 weeks in Paris and I loved it - I found that most people I met were friendly, helpful, were happy to engage in English after I started with very limited French. Much of what you mentioned in this video now makes alot more sense to me. I hope to return one day to experience more of France. Please please keep to videos coming whether France, Spain, Australia or elsewhere.
I'm chuffed that it'll be useful for your next visit! And yes! More videos will be coming.
That is funny another Aussie here and also just discovered your channel! I agree great content. I too found my experience in Paris was very different to what I had heard. Loved my time in France, will definitely go back.
It's still a bit bewildering to me that visitors can come here expecting to be the brunt of arrogant, snobbish behaviour.... That's not the Paris at all that they find. It's a living city, not a Simpsons stereotype.
This video was a revelation to me. One of my parents was French and the other American, and I live in England. These descriptions of French behaviors and expectations ring true, as I seem to have subconsciously subscribed to every single one of them. I'm slightly more formal and polite (but in a friendly way) than the English, which some people find disconcerting. The English like to bond by agreeing on clichés, but now I understand why I have a reputation for being somewhat argumentative. I would rather have a measured discussion about a 'third rail issue' than talk about the weather. Clearly I'm more French than I had ever realized!
@@heron6462 It's great to have a bicultural upbringing, opening the door to wider understanding and different fallback behaviour. Keep up the argumentative/critical/analytical esprit!
As a Frenchman I can say that you've captured the French essence perfectly, and I'd even go further and say that you've explained things that we wouldn't be able to. Félicitations !
@@louis_saint_rose Merci ! J'ai fait de mon mieux - et j'espère avoir présenté des faits d'une manière qui pourrait servir des visiteurs !
Love, love, love - All of it. Just moved back to Paris after 22 years of living in the American midwest. Needless to say I've completely forgotten how things work. I've been struggling to figure out how to put into words *the rules* of social interactions here. Not to mention sidewalk etiquette; it's been one my toughest ones to crack. So this video brings sense to a lot these questions, and with style on top it! Bravo madame et merci à vous.
Wow, 22 years in the Midwest. That must mean quite a shift back to Paris. And yes, sidewalk ettiquette often feels like sauve qui peut....
I’m in Paris right now and I always say Bonjour and Merci plus showing a lot of respect. It gets your far for sure.
Yes, just keep acknowleding the people around you. Human acknowledgement first, then service request after, and Paris unlocks itself to you!
This works in every country, really.
I'm a Canadian who has lived in France for 16 years, and she's got it absolutely right.
Thank you for the thumb's up on this little video!
It seems kind of sensible in France. As a cabbie in UK I feel British people can not respect my workspace enough. Its kind of the Robert De Niro "are you talking to me" kind of thing. I always have that thing of respecting other people's spaces whether its their home or their workplace. Its a good thing to not make assumptions - I think the French get that. You yourself do look quite French and quite elegant and I am sure the French will welcome you. One day I will visit Paris, I already love the place even though I've never been.
Glad to hear you're a De Niro fan too - and thanks for the compliments... I think my compatriots have already welcomed me. In any case I'm having a ball.
In other words : no need to be rude to be efficient.
i don’t agree with the situation if someone is rude, stay polite. if someone who is not polite (french or non-french) towards you, that person should be corrected in a good way, never pass that kind of behavior otherwise it will be normalized. we are all human beings after all. but love the tips! 😊
But that's the cultural quandry, isn't it? What one person on one side of the Atlantic might consider rude, another on the other side doesn't see it that way. "Normalized" is a loaded term when talking about different peoples, different countries -- hell, even different regions within a country.
French people don’t respect you if you act like a doormat.
Hello, I'd like to add that our politeness can be a proper and intentional reply to rudeness. Basically means that staying polite in front of rudeness is a very strong way to show to the indisposed quarreler our superiority. Hence, it's even more hurtful to one's ego to get that kind of treatment instead of being simply assaulted with bad words.
I think this subject can go way wider and it's, indeed, a very interesting one. A good start can be the réflexion proposed by Bourdieu about "capital social". In France, the social capital (including everything that this video talks about) is way more important than your concrete revenue, property, car and anything you hold. It's an evidence for any french in the very upper class and what we call "cadres" (dunno the english equivalent for that). Not so for les "nouveaux-riches" though.
However, of course, there is the "below class" and outsiders as well, quite many in fact in France. Foreigners usually don't get to know that kind of person so much because that kind are prolly not so open to tourists by themselves (and for the "below class", not so confident about speaking in english). Their culture is more straightforward and less alambiquous. For my experience, they are the most reliable type of french people as well, usually.
Unfortunately, I rarely experienced foreigners (even long-term ones) interested on that kind of people, I feel a lot because they don't correspond to clichés about how a french pal is and behave.
Small note: don't try to act "in a good way" to an unpolite french. You will be seen as someone with a "balai dans le cul" - mostly if you're young. Social justice doesn't work very much here if I extrapole the idea.
@@satorikomeiji8348 and if you see politesse as armor?
The 15' late arrival for dinner is... Politeness. In case your host is late preparing 😉
Try telling that to the Dutch. Or if it's at a restaurant where you won't be seated unless everyone's there!
@@amusingaida It is so true (for the 15') that in the south west we call it "le quart d'heure aquitain". And it saved our lives (preparing perfect dinner is important here as you know) many times when our guests came up with that delay (dunno if it's the correct word but you sure get it).
@@gerardsoler1713 tout à fait, pour un dîner à la maison... un délai de 15 minutes est apprécié !
@@gerardsoler1713 à Lyon, c’est le quart d’heure lyonnais ! 🤣
@@olivierc4706 pour le quart d'heure Marseillais c'est deux heures de retard , encore une référence a la relativité du temps suivant les régions
I loved this. It's funny how most of the rules boil down to "have good manners and don't have unrealistic expectations." I live in an extra-rural part of Vermont, USA where it's very normal for businesses to keep unusual hours or be closed for long stretches. Honestly I love it. It reminds me that life isn't about being always online and open and available all the time. It makes many experiences that much more special too when they're not there on-demand 24/7.
Wherever I've traveled, I've found that conveying warmth and good manners (even if it's just with expressions and gestures) goes a LONG way to making up for any language barrier. I get really shy about trying to speak another language, because I'm afraid to insult someone by making a mistake, but I eventually realized that just makes me come off as cold, even arrogant or entitled. I would never ever think less of someone who doesn't speak English as their first language speaking it to me, and I try to remember that most people are the same way. Making a genuine effort to acknowledge and connect that shows respect and openness, is much much more important than perfect grammar. Be brave enough to set aside your self-consciousness so you can just be present with that other person. Even if you're just ordering a coffee lol.
A smile/slight bow with a hand over the heart is a good standby to convey goodbye/thanks/appreciation if you're in a context where you're not sure if you're supposed to shake hands, hug, kiss, etc. (Or just follow their lead, although this can be a bit tricky in real time, and also because sometimes the rules are different for men/women, guest/host etc.) In addition to the usual politenesses of thank you, hello, goodbye etc., I also highly recommend learning how to say some versions of "your English is better than my [French, Spanish, etc.]" in the language of the country you're visiting. A compliment with a little humor is helpful when you want to thank and acknowledge the other person crossing the language barrier on your behalf.
It sounds like you're approaching all interactions everywhere with good faith and a good heart. Misunderstandings are normal, perhaps avoidable, but in the end it's the spirit that is conveyed that proves the most persuasive, I think
@@amusingaida yes, I think that's very true. Warmth and kindness is largely a universal language. Merci beaucoup pour votre réponse aimable. :)
100% !!! I’ve never experienced rude behavior from the French - even in Paris.
That is extremely rare
You are lucky 😮
I was in Cassise years ago and was looking for a public washrom I was told was in a particular direction. I mistakenly said "excuse me , where is the toilet near here?"in French to a woman working in a kiosk. She glarared at me and said "BONJOUR" very loudly. I apologised and repeated my question with Bonjour first. She just waved me away and wouldn't tell me that the washroom was just beside her kiosk. I will never forget that horrible experience. I never forgot to start with Bonjour again.
It's almost a rigid protocol with some people -- but also a passive-aggressive tool to insult others while claiming a supposed high ground
@@amusingaida Finement observé !
Formal politeness between strangers is often a power play in France, a way to assert dominance and claim (social*) status.
There is actually a latent hostility towards English speakers in provincial France for historical reasons, especially towards American citizens who are seen as loud, vulgar and uncultured.
* Everything is social in France.
@@anthony8041 Bien dit !
@@TheSwimmom1 To be honest we do like a Bonjour but the overwhelming majority of us would have helped you the first time, she either thought you wanted to use her toilet or was already in a bad mood aha
@@Hoera290 Please don't get me wrong. She was the only rude person we encountered in France in the 3 trips we had. I just meant to say that as a result I never made that mistake again, French people are lovely and we all have a few of those people in our own home towns.
About level 2 interactions, yes, we love arguying. It can get heated but we know there are no hard feelings at the end. And you're right, we sometimes argue just for the sake of arguying. We love witty spirits. It is a mix of using reasonable arguments, a showcase of our knowledge of a topic (a bit of pedantry), and the mastering of rethorics.
I'm glad you agree! France is a gym for intellectual discussions: a place to build mental muscles, and also with a bit of posing going on...
Yes, but its not everyone's cup of tea! Ce nest pas toujours ma tasse de thé!
Yes, as an American who follows (and loves to spar about) politics closely, from experience in living there, the French are not only MUCH more well-informed than Americans in general, but can 'discuss', even yell about politics or any other issue, but it's all water under the bridge as the conversation turns.
Whereas in America, such heated 'arguments' would cause people to lose friends and family members immediately.
What was once considered 'rugged individualism' has become borderline blanket narcissism in America.
"There's no I in TEAM, but there's an M and an E because it's all about 'ME'!"
I used to travel back and forth from France and the U.S. quite a bit, sometimes a year, a few months or a few weeks, but regardless the thing I noticed the most EVERY time I came back to the U.S., as soon as I got off the plane, was how much Americans complain. About EVERYTHING. As though they look for imperfections with a subconscious effort, and when found, take it as a personal affront to their very identity, and want people to 'pay' or be punished somehow for their even most mild inconvenience.
This is fantastic content! I have traveled to Paris several times, and I have also traveled to other areas in France at different times over many years, where English is spoken less. When I open my mouth, they know an American English accent, even if I speak in French. And I always know when French people are bracing for, and expecting stereotypical American behavior. I start by not assuming they speak English. That is a big one I think. I will apologize for my accent and mistakes in advance since I am only about A2/B1, but they are disarmed and surprised when they can tell how polite and respectful I attempt to be.
It's great that you are so engaged with French, and the French. Tbh, part of the joy of Paris is the mix of accents. And I'm happy my video brought some informative insight too!
@@DixieC-vj2sg Thanks.
Thanks. I am not fooled and not being overly-apologetic. I have lived a pretty long time, and I have lived all over America, from the South, to the Midwest, to the Northeast, and I know my people. Heck, many of my fellow Americans aren't even nice to one another here in this country. These days, some don't try for good social interactions, grace for mistakes, or misunderstandings, and kindness when interacting in this country in restaurants, grocery stores, parking lots and public places. So yeah, I hear you, many are nice, but.... Second, I have traveled abroad for 30 years to many countries all over Europe and some in South America. I see and hear my fellow Americans--not all, but some--in restaurants and hotels, and I shake my head at the interactions I hear. And you are right about some Europeans: I have had racist comments hurled at me by French-speaking people, and others insult my attempt to be nice, and speak their language, but what can you do. People are people all over the world. But still, I know when, for example, I have walked into a shop in America, France, Canada, Switzerland, Germany, the UK, Peru, or in any of the other countries to which I traveled, I treat it like I am entering someone else's office at work or someone else's home. Nice and respectful, and I get a good response.
@@anthonys2021-BD Good comment, fair enough. I too have deep experience in many of the same countries as you and so I speak from own. But you are right - nice and respectful works anywhere. Or it should.
I've never laughed so much about the well-known topic of cultural differences. The approach to the subject is original, insightful, and incredibly pertinent. The editing and presentation are equally engaging. I'm definitely subscribing!
🤗from France
Thanks! Very happy to hear that!
I wish I knew these things before I went to Paris! Your explanation of personal space is enlightening! Thank you!
Thanks! I hope it'll be handy for your next trip -- because there will be a next trip soon, right?
Edward T. Hall mentions this in some of his books.
@@romain5920 Ah, I didn't know about him, but have just looked him up on Wikipedia, and yeah I see that his theory is all about culturally differentiated personal space, so similar...
Hi, thank you for your videos which are charming and informative. My first visit to Paris next month and I am sure it will be a marvellous adventure. Your Oz video was fair dinkum also.🙂
Many thanks Stephen! I put my effort into the videos (but I guess that's true for every videomaker on TH-cam, especially the ones on Paris). Paris is a multifaceted carpet that rolls out in front of you. So many 'alternative realities' to explore, according to what you want from the city. Enjoy your Paris adventure!
Thanks so much for this video. French culture is strongly empowering. The country really acts more as a collective. It is a nation that does respect intellectualism and there’s nothing wrong with that. It embraces all and those who claim its rude oftentimes have personal issues that need to be resolved. What other nation calls for such unity as “Liberté. Égalité. Fraternité.”
Also Paris is a globalist city it is full of common characteristics, you would find in any major globalist cities, such as London, Tokyo, New York City, and so on. To me all these cities have profound rudest no where else in the world.
France is so rich and has so many amazing cultures and cities beyond Paris. They each have unique charm not found anywhere else in the world.
Vive La France! 🇫🇷
I'd like to agree with you, as a generalisation. And I do think that Paris is a globalist city. But I think that, socially and poltically, the argument that France acts and thinks collectively is blowing apart. As a Française, I see a wide gap between the urban part of France, and the rural part. And I'm not sure how that will ever be bridged, at least on a political level.
@@amusingaida I understand your perspective.
I visited France, including Paris, Lille, and Lyon, and found a strong sense of unity and solidarity. Unlike the U.S., where cities can feel vastly different due to varied state laws, France offers a consistent and cohesive experience. Post-COVID, people globally turned to conservatism or radical change to cope. As life returns to normal, I hope France continues to cherish its cultural roots and national unity. France is a truly inspiring country unlike anything else in the world. Vive La France 🇫🇷
@@amusingaida People depend on the state not on each other ; that is really sad . I've been a single woman all my life and I do get taken advantage of but of late here it's just gone ballistic. I'm not sure about the respect for intellectuals if you live in a rural setting; people are quite afraid of this.
There are some really good tips here. Acknowledge people for who they are and be polite. This really is important in France, but isn‘t it everywhere? Good video
Thanks!
Important point : when your "professional partner" is on vacations, or your café or anything else, we can't choose another employee or something like that : it is not really about money for us, it is because the work of a person has to be respected and noone could do the exact same work. It could be insulting for some of us (the "rule" is the basic but individually we are all different so it depends of course). Especially when we talk about food... the chef is THE chef, it's his kitchen etc. You can extrapolate this idea, it's not really a matter of money for us (but as a foreigner of course it could be really disturbing I totally understand)
Agreed, that's a good point, and underlines how there is personal investment in many French establishments that goes well beyond return on investment or revenue/cost ratios....
For the beret, it is true that it can seem outdated. But be careful, it still remains popular in the South-West of France where it was born, I see a lot of people wearing it, even young people in Bordeaux, Toulouse and Bayonne. And this is even more true in medium-sized towns and villages.
That was my shorthand to let some visitors to know not to take their cues from Emily in Paris... I have (occasionally) seen French people with a beret, but not often...
@@amusingaida depends on the color...a black "béret basque" is quite outdated for a man ( my grand father used to wear one all day long). But a red one can suit for a young woman...
Beret ended to be worn in France basically after WW2. The frenchie with a beret, a baguette under the arm and a bottle of wine in hand is a caricature. So it may be regarded as a mockery.
@@francoislambert4739 C'est vrai que les miliciens - la Milice fasciste, qui arrêtait et torturait les résistants, portaient un béret, ce qui a dû jouer en défaveur du port du béret à la Libération. Néanmoins mon grand-père tout ce qu'il y a de plus hostile aux miliciens, en portait un ( mon père préférait les casquettes : tous deux avaient le crâne très dégarni et risquaient des coups de soleil). Le béret était pratique et se rangeait dans la poche en le pliant. Après cette guerre, la mode vestimentaire a changé, les prénoms aussi.
La caricature, c'est Superdupont...
@@francoislambert4739 a bottle of whine might be a truism for France!
As a French not questionning myself about our psychology, I would only say « très bien vu »
Merci - ça veut dire que j'ai visé juste ?
I think he meant that he did not think about it (french psychology) , but he agree with you when you say it (not sure if i am clear)
This video is suprisingly accurate. Well done, you understand us perfectly. The tip about talking too loudly should be explained to every american tourist, might be also useful if tou travel in germany.
Glad the video info hit the spot
As an American, I wish someone would explain not talking loudly (screaming on your phone, using speaker phone in public, playing videos on speaker in public) to the entire country. It's such a relief to go to France and be surrounded by good manners.
@@kriserts I have noticed, frequently, that certain nationalities have no qualms about putting videos or music or calls on speaker phones even when surrounded by people. Annoying? Sure. But it also make me wonder how our social codes are so different....
@@amusingaida probably got to do with city size and commuting time
@@turnipsociety706 Factors that weigh, yeah, I guess... but in terms of speaking volume in public places?
I really love your videos, thank you for taking the time to make them.
Thanks Liraz, glad you enjoy them. I'm working on my latest one...
When I finally get to France I will be rembering all of your sage advice. I am always (well almost always) polite, so I should be fine interacting with people. I will work on using politeness an offensive weapon, it sounds like a useful skill.
I've found it to be most useful. A social game, if you will.
Very useful. Everyone knows that it is ironic and insincere but it does follow good form.
1. Don't assume to have a conversation in anlgo-saxon.
2. Don't assume other cultures are just like anglo-saxon.
Voilà.
C'est pourtant simple!
@BidouLaloge not all Anglo-Saxon cultures are the same, they widely vary.
Widely and wildly. Even within England alone, the North and South are like different countries.
I’ve been teaching these things to all my students since 1964. It works like a charm. I am a French teacher. I have been living in, studying in and visiting France since 1957. My partner is a Frenchman.
For the past 60 years? Wow... I should have taken your course notes to flesh it out further...
Well being polite with a person who is not, is a strategy that works only if the person has the right level to understand what it means.
👏🏿
As a French person, the one thing that really made me realise we have very different cultural expectations about politeness when interacting with people in shops compared to people in Anglo-Saxon countries was the first time I entered a store in the UK, and the person working there said "Hi !" to me.
In France, I would be very shocked to be greeted by "Salut !", in a similar setting, but here, in London, it's absolutely normal!
Not to say that one is better than the other, but it really puts things into perspective and I now understand better why we may seem cold and haughty to people from other countries.
You're right; it all comes down to the culture and context. No right or wrong path - and we should be happy there us enough diversity for us to enjoy.
Very accurate imo. It s actually amasing how you do understand things accurately
Thank you, that is truly well appreciated as a comment
Plein de bonne énergies a tous ! Super video ! KISS FROM PARIS 🇫🇷 🇫🇷 🇫🇷
Merci ZEN7 !
Great video. Being English I was prepared to be rolling my eyes, but I found this very insightful and educational. I particularly liked 'Considering the fragility of existence, a coffe perhaps?'. How French!
By the way, where are you from? Are you French or have you just lived in France for a long time? Your English is so good I couldn't really tell.
Thanks for writing the kind words - making it I was very determined to not just regurgitate platitudes and hollow 'tips', I really did want to get deeper with the subject. Otherwise where's the value?
(As for your last question, yes I'm French, but yes, also from a non-native path, which I find invaluable for being inside the tent but also able to see France the way an outsider might.)
@@amusingaida Oh right, that explains why your observations are so good. I'll watchout for your other videos.👍
@@amusingaidaI am surprised that you are French because the way you write sometimes sounds quite English. No offense. 🥰
Haha... I did two university degrees in English and before my little jump into TH-camism I worked in international organizations where English was the lingua franca. And I've lived in various non-francophone countries. I think my English these days is better than my French....
@@amusingaida I suspected that you had spent a lot of time outside France. 😁
Thank you very much for this awesome video. I'm sure there was a lot of work to make these explanations so easy to understand, and really funny. Congrats!
Thank you for such a kind and generous comment, which makes all that work feel worthwhile!
Wonderful list and it should apply to not just France, but wherever one travels to and be mindful at all time.
Hi Aida, as a French person I really liked your video. Very well spotted, and so nice to not hear about another French stereotype ❤. Thank you for taking the time to understand the culture 😊x
@@brounieboo Hi Brounieboo, thanks - me too, I'm sick of seeing stereotypes used and overused. I try to go beyond that...
Just a modest (I hope) note : this is true anywhere. It may be more in France but it works all over the world
If you mean politeness and respect - sure, the principles apply, but the manifestations of these can differ quite amazingly
I found this really illuminating. And it makes me want to go to France again.
That's wonderful to hear. And I hope you do get another visit in soon!
I am visiting so many countries I'm actually in Australia and the difference is massive..in France we love verbal confrontation we are not scared to say "no" when it's "no" but in Australia/America it's so annoying how people don't say what they think...they will tell you "yes"if it's "no' and if you contest about something they turn into a turtle.."no worries" "calm down" "no dramas"..can you just learn to manage conflict..😅😂
I really liked the Australian "too easy". Yes, different conflict management than in France (but I found it kinda refreshing).
@@amusingaida She'll be right, no worries etc means " forget it ,I"m outta here"
N'inquiète pas, pas problème, ce n'est rien really means " you have truly pissed me off , lets see how next time goes". If you are lucky.
I'm French too and I failed the 3-minute test. I got so bored that I watched a table-tennis game instead. But keep trying, you're on the right track ! 😏
Thank you for a very good explanation!
Thank you!
Aida, je viens de passer le meilleur petit quart-d'heure en suivant vos observations et jouissant de votre humour. Meme le toutou est tellement poli! Pas francaise, mais ancienne élève d'un lycée francais à l'étranger
Alexandra, je suis contente de lire ceci ! Merci pour le commentaire !
I just found your video and I'm struck by the intelligence and perception of it! When you mentioned the word 'refinement', I was instantly struck by the realization that it doesn't exist here in the USA. We're not refined at all.
Great info. Thanks
Most kind your words (about my video anyway -- as to refinement in the US, I wouldn't dare offer any opinion of real life there, though I must say I do appreciate some of the TV streaming shows)
It really depends and it's never a good idea to make sweeping generalizations.
I am American...my mother raised me to be quite refined, although she never used that word...by the way, she is French
C'est une perception. Une opinion. En fait tout est une question d'opinion dans cette vidéo, basée sur une perception particulière. Nous ne sommes pas réellement un peuple raffiné. Il faut vraiment mal nous connaitre. Oui les parisiens sont particulièrement rudes. Et répondre de manière polie à quelqu'un qui s'énerve peut souvent être perçu comme une provocation. De surcroit les Français ne sont pas une entité monolithique, c'est certes un petit pays mais avec beaucoup de régions, qui il y a encore peu, ne parlait pas ou prou Français, et avec des mentalités très différentes selon les régions. Il y a une très grande différence de comportement entre, disons, le nord-Est de la France avec une mentalité de type "allemande" et le sud-Ouest de type espagnole. Je schématise bien sur. Mais c'est un peu ca.
Well done! Your understanding of the French is excellent. If you learn and abide by these codes you will find the French to be really nice people, even Parisians. Be polite and respectful, remain calm, don’t be too loud, read up on current events and have something substantial to say or just listen, smile. Don’t be that American or German cliché, be one of the smart ones.
Thanks - for the comment, and for the reflections
As a french I concur. You nailed it !
Merci ! Je l'espère bien !
@@amusingaida have you been doing trails in the mountains ? Where every hiker greets the others « bonjour » when they cross path…
I'm not much of a hiker. But, yeah, I know what you mean.
when you re french you dont really think about it , so thank you for this analysis. It s great to watch a video from an external point of view looking in !
A little bit of outside looking in... but also explaining the inside to the outside, I hope!
Your content is really excellent ! Love the quick stare after the Italian/French wine debate 😂😊❤!!!
Ha! You noticed that!
There’s no comparison, is there! I love French wine 🍷 😍🎉!!!
I am impressed by how accurate you are. I could not have described the culture of my country the way you do it.
Merci -- ça me touche !
Tu as raison. Rudeness is very displeasing to the French.
Excellent analysis. Toutes mes félicitations, chère madame.
Mais merci Monsieur (ou Madame ?)
Well there is both you and thee in English, although that is perhaps a bit archaic now. But for readers of Shakespeare it can help explain the vous/tu difference.
I never enjoyed Shakespeare that much when I studied his works - though I really do appreciate the layers, complexity and rhythms he used masterfully. My English literature tastes ran to other oeuvres. But yeah I know that Olde English had its parallels with vous/tu. Personally I enjoy the brevity and directness of English, when I speak it.
Verily, the word "thee" is not overtaxed in these modern times
je te decouvre, je suis Français et je dois dire : superbe analyse.! C.'est vrai que dans un pays étranger on a besoin de bien comprendre le peuple pour vivre avec lui sans obstacle insurmontable dû au choc culturel. (je l'ai fait pour la Thailande) "But at home, we live without even being self-aware of how we are and act. Watching this video has been for me like watching ourselves in the mirror for the first time :)"
Merci ! Si ça aide certains visiteurs j'en serai contente. And your comment about it like watching oneself in the mirror is precious remark that I'll treasure!
Moi, j'aurais dit que reconnaitre la gentillesse ou l'amabilité de l'autre, accepter l'autre, ça fait partie de la politesse. But, then again, I guess it might differ from one culture to another.
Vous avez raison. L'expérience humaine reste bien complexe, souvent contradictoire...
Very interesting, well-made video, Mlle Aida. I am not French, but in spite of being afflicted from birth with what is both an inexcusable imperfection and a grievous cultural handicap, I nonetheless found your insights about the French to be spot-on and would venture to say that they formed an excellent apologia for an all too often misunderstood culture. I look forward to seeing more of your anthropological output.
Vidéo très intéressante et bien réalisée, Mlle Aida. Je ne suis pas français, mais bien que je sois affligé depuis ma naissance de ce qui est à la fois une imperfection inexcusable et un handicap culturel irréversible, j'ai néanmoins trouvé que vos idées sur les Français étaient justes et j'oserais dire qu'elles constituent une excellente plaidoirie en faveur d'une culture trop souvent mal comprise. J'attends avec impatience la suite de votre production anthropologique.
Well thank you, most kind sir! And I do hope to get more videos out soon(ish)
Most of this is good advice. I would say however that outside of tourist relations, moving to the "tu" level happens more quickly than said. That said, I have a couple of good friends who are sisters of an older generation, one of them I "tutoie" and the other I "vouvoie".
Decades ago I was at a vernissage of an known artist older friend of mine. I was young and joined a group around him. I "tutoyais" him and he me. I saw from the faces around that people wondered who the hell I was. Une autre chose, c'est mieux que vous êtes moins coquette ici que dans d'autres épisodes.
J'admire le courage de votre conseil
😂
What I really loved in France was that although I was speaking English, French people could understand me but they wouldn't reply in English. This way they forced me to listen carefully, understand, learn and integrate.
Every interaction helps!
A chaque culture ses us et coutumes. Comportements et langage à adopter en société, règles de bienséances, bonnes manières, codes sociaux, ... J'ai beaucoup travaillé à l'étranger dans ma vie professionnelle, suffisamment pour avoir apris que cela peut mener à des incompréhensions ou/et des quiproquos assez ubuesques, et ce, même lorsque l'on parle la langue du pays et que tout le monde est de bonne foi. Je vous rejoins totalement, un grand sourire, une attitude positive et un peu d'humilité règlent toutes les situations. Les autochtones gagneraient à être plus compréhensifs et les visiteurs à être plus affables. Le monde n'est pas uniforme, heureusement d'ailleurs, on s'ennuierait un peu sinon.
Bien vu, bien dit. Je suis d'accord, et soulignerais même votre dernière phrase : « Le monde n'est pas uniforme, heureusement d'ailleurs, on s'ennuierait un peu sinon ». Ca résume bien ma pensée aussi.
I’m a French woman and I can tell you that you get respect from French people by replying back if they are rude and don’t respect you. Raise your voice and set boundaries. Don’t continue to be nice or they will continue to be a bully. You’re welcome.
That is a good point, yes. Firmly setting boundaries. Though it often descends into a dialogue de sourdes...
Oh ! I understood something with the shop being an extension of the home : that's a very good point, and may be something special. You've got a point here i've neve noticed. The "lets be agree to disagree" is very painful for me and for lots of french i guess, and we don't understand why english or american do that so quickly in a conversation, it's very frustrating. I guess we're very unpolite for them when we insist on keeping talking about our disagreement, aren't we ?
I find that some English, those steeped in the pleasure of debate, are quite apt at verbal duels. Americans maybe less so, though they have enviable public-speaking confidence. So much is a question of education!
Pas mal ! Finement observé et jamais entendu cela !
Merci ! Ca fait du bien de l'entendre
Very well produced video, almost like a movie! Also, Aida looks very elegant.
Wow, that is some high praise! Thank you!
As a french, I could say you are right on a lot of things.
We don't show respect to people who think they are in "terrain conquis".
The "vous" could be a mark of respect, but it is a mark of social distanciation. I could say "vous" to someone I totally despise, and saying "tu" to someone I respect a lot.
That's another good point about how to wield vous and tu
Nutshell: be an older/nobler soul.
I forgot to return my hotel key, I discovered this while on a train from Metz to Paris, the lovely French lady with whom I was visiting (in French) kindly offered to return the key, soon after arriving home I contacted the hotel and sure enough the key had been returned, all my time in Metz people were so kind and made me feel at home (speaking the language didn't hurt. I've had mostly positive experiences in Paris but realized quickly that that's a bustling city and not everyone wants to be bothered with tourists' questions (similar to New York). I try always to be kind and considerate and I think that appeals to most people. I very much love France and its people!
That's a kind person! I like to think there is a well of goodness in most people. Not all, but most.
Very insightful
Thank you!
I am a Dane,been to France many times,love the place,love the people!
That's good to hear
I don't understand the issue with wearing a bérêt? I wear one in Montreal in the fall and winter, it's just a hat to keep my head warm... Should I not wear it when in Paris? I mean of course, I'm not planning to wear it with a marinière and to walk around with a baguette under my arm at all times... That would be ridiculous:D
Wear what makes you comfortable, and wear it with confidence. That pointer in my video speaks to the sort of cosplay you see in Paris these days, where some visitors seem to be taking inspiration from a certain Emily in Paris. In the end, you own your style (and shouldn't let some Netflix trend dictate what you wear), just be aware though that for Parisians these days it can be a bit of a signifier...
From the french point of view, it is considered as 'you see, I am french like you because I wear a beret', even if it's not ...I'm french, here we are taught in early years that you can't use one's characterisitics (like clothes) until you have sufficient knowlegde of what's in one's mind ...😉😉
If you're wearing a beret, by all means, carry a baguette.
🙃
About time, for medical appointments you HAVE to be punctual. Most of the time the doctor will actually be late, but you, you can't. It's because they have a bunch of patients and if they have to wait for you it's everybody after you that get delayed, and the doctor will finish his day late. It's to the point where if you show up late even once the doctor office can very well ban you from coming ever again. Not showing up at all lead to systemic and definitive ban from the national medical booking site (meaning if you don't show up at an appointment to a cabinet in paris you won't be able to make an appointment to any cabinet online in marseille. You will have to call by phone or come directly at the office)
Quoi???!!!! Nonsense. Too many doctors still think they sit at the right hand of God and for sure since convid most have no right to this idea.
Vous etez unique dans les gens qui fait youtube francais. Witty and brilliant.
Merci, c'est très aimable. Not so brilliant perhaps, but having fun doing this TH-cam stuff for now
Absolutely brilliant! I've even learned a couple of things!
Great! Happy to have helped!
Excellent, what I have always said to visitors, especialz about the not talking loudly, re respect for personal space, which includes ears...very different in the usa, where there is so mch spcae available. In Franc, the space is in one's esprit, your intellectual handling of life...
And you're so right! That outlook does help
@amusingaida ...You are looking VERY stylish, Fresh and so put together in your sleeves summer outfit ~Très chic! The camera really loves you; YOU are naturally very beautiful and it really shows in this episode; I think you have a very bright future in television and film if you chose this path for your future endeavors and your seemingly effortless narration and film making skills really bubbled forth in this episode; Your smile lights up all of Paris.. ~M 💕
This is likely the most laudatory comment I've ever received, and I thank you for it. It's a welcome encouragement and I can but hope you're right about this TH-cam path leading to a film or TV future... that's actually something I'm working on parallel to this channel. So, again, thank you; my smile just got wider.
We’re in Paris now. The people here seem to be like those in any other big city. Some are warm, friendly and helpful, while others are aloof and uncaring. When passing by on the street and given a smile and a bonjour, some reply with the same while others don’t respond. Probably the younger Parisians are more open.
We’re enjoying the weather here in August, walking to see the architecture, sites and people. The grocery stores are fun to look around. Haven’t been to a restaurant as of yet. After watching the video, it looks as though I’ll have to be on my best behavior. Wouldn’t want to soil granny’s doilies. 😂
Glad to hear you're having a wonderful time, and presenting your sunny side to Paris
Love your videos and the way you teach us about French culture. Can't wait to go back. Also, we would love to see a video about you. Who is Aida?
Thanks Cindy, and I do hope you back soon. As for me: I'm a lot less interesting than Paris
Thankfully, I've always been naturally courteous and polite. I was raised in New England, where people were (at least in the 1950s, 1960s) very reticent, formal, and polite. While growing up in Maine, I studied French and French culture because we had a large contingent of French living in northern Maine. I remember visiting Paris in the 1970s and thinking that Paris was a goddess among the world's cities. What a spectacular city.
@@desertinutah I'm sure your approach goes a long way. I'm also guessing that education and socializing behaviour has changed a lot since the 1950-60s!
@@amusingaida That's a major point! Wow, have things changed.
Really interesting and entertaining. Over here you know when you crossed the line when you hear “is there anything else that I can help you with?”
Sounds like a whole codebook of culture and politeness to learn over there
I'm French and that's the most accurate understanding of our behavior i've ever seen in this kind of videos, good job!
Thank you! For the comment, and for backing up some of the pointers in the video.
@@amusingaida you're more than welcome, you really seem to have adjusted and understood France well. I could show you some hidden gems in Paris i you're interested
@@mita-dt3lk Thanks for the offer. I actually know Paris quite well myself -- and I'm saving the secret gems for a Secret Gems video
Australian here. We tend to have relationships of assumed equality between servers and customers and 'warm', rather than formal, is the default option. I know, from having served some French customers, that it does not always go down well with them. Germans seem to have an easier time adjusting. French people who have made the adjustment are generally well loved by colleagues, customers etc here.
I can only speak with a limited experience of Australia, but here goes: while there might be a shared principle of egalité for customers and servers in both France and Australia, I think the idea of projected 'warmth' by Australians comes across differently in a French setting. An Australian waiter or barperson can be basically saying 'we're all in the same boat, no airs here, no false distance'. But a French waiter is filling a role that has historical weight -- being a waiter in France can be a métier, an actual profession stretching back centuries, and the pride comes from executing it well and knowing all aspects. Even if many serveurs in France might be just doing it as a job as a transition to somewhere else, there is an awareness that in other corners of the profession there are people taking it to the highest levels possible. So that while there is not a subservient role here there is one that demands respect for a quality of work My impression (wrong?) for Australia is that waiting is mostly seen as a 'job' rather than a profession (except at the very élite levels) and the approach is to say 'we're all humans, we share the same things'. So important differences perhaps when in each country (or rather cultural spheres, for I think the Australian experience can translate well to the US or, mostly, to the UK, while the French experience is understood well in Spain, in Italy)... But correct me if I'm wrong!
@@amusingaida I agree very much. I think in the Latin world (France, Portugal, Italy and Spain) eating out has more of a sense of occasion than it does in the English speaking world. And being a custodian of a long tradition is a part of being a chef, waiter, sommelier etc. Which, of course, is part of what we seek when we visit places like Paris.
And for me the greatest joy of travelling is not seeing monuments or museums but getting to join in other cultures that do things differently.
And that's why I enjoy your channel even though the likelihood of me getting back to Europe any time soon is pretty remote.
@@billking8843 I share your view of what makes traveling so enriching, so horizon-expanding. Hope you get a trip in sometime.
Love your videos! Thank you
Thanks - so glad you enjoy them!
Thank you so much, Aida. I like your videos. They are helpful. Your always look gorgeous and elegant in videos.
Now that's a comment I can hold close! Thanks so much!
Concurring with other French people here: best video I've ever seen to introduce you to the way French people tick (most of all Parisians).
Next lessons:
- why this waiter's rudeness is really a prompt for you to display your flawless education and therefore higher status, thus earning you the privilege to be accepted (i.e. mostly ignored)
- why French people smile differently than in the US (or most Anglo-Saxon countries)
- how to complain (part 1): complaining about third parties
- how to complain (part 2): how to make people want you to talk to their manager
Also: flawless, remarkable, professional video production. We know you know we noticed at first glance.
Most kind, sir. That is a glowing recommendation, I just hope I can live up to it in future videos (speaking of which: your suggestions are food for thought!)
That was interesting and informative, thank you.
Glad it had value for you!
Good video! I am Irish, living in UK. To me, if I want to get some help in a shop, it is polite to begin the conversation with “Excuse me” (can you help me find etc…). I did that in Leroy Merlin in France. “Excusez moi” thinking I was being polite and respectful. The assistant turned around, looked at me coldly and said “Bonjour Madame”. She was correcting me. Excuse me is not the opening gambit! It MUST be “Bonjour”. So what is polite in one culture is not always polite in another.
Yeah, some rigid courtesy protocol there....
I agree. Politeness, Politeness, Politeness. Smile, and be pleasant, but never too much. Parisians do not do 'small talk', they enjoy a debate. A real discussion. Tread carefully, I hasten to add. Thank you very much.
I guess some Parisians do small talk. Somewhere. I'm not very good at it though....
@a musing Aida True. I mean generally. I compare them with the Brits, who specialise in small talk. Brits do not like confrontation and prefer to stay 'vague' and not commit with passion to a discussion at a drinks party, for example. Different people, different mentality. All very interesting! Hope that you are well.
@@sylviamatthee8172 A lot of admiration for British rhetoric (especially deadpan humor and the way of sending messages through subtext). Maybe the confrontation is there in British conversation, but so masked that it's only discernable to those with antennae to detect it?
@a musing Aida British humor and wit are both superb. I have lived in the UK for a long time, and I know the Brits well. Small talk is their forte. They feel quickly uncomfortable when a discussion gets a bit deep. The Parisians, on the other hand, have no problem with chatting or a deep discussion. Two very different people, who are appreciated for their different qualities. I attend French Zoom ateliers, and our French Prof is very good at being sarcastic. He has lived in the UK for decades and really appreciates the natives. Keep well.
I love that you filmed it in the Quartier Montorgueil. ❤
Indeed... That's where I took an OIympic evening, and it was lovely
As a French person, I am truely impressed. You got it. So glad you're sharing this valuable info with foreigners. 🔥 So they can have a better time in France - and so do we 😂
Thanks -- I'm glad I got it right. Can you think of any other aspects I could highlight in a future video?
The numerous holidays of the French also create numerous jobs, in the hotel industry, campsites, catering.
The rest of some allows others to earn their living...
Yes, many jobs... something like 7.5% of France's GDP comes from tourism (which is actually less than a lot of people expect)