Thank you Jodi for this video. I have no problem at all in forgiving others but a lot of trouble in forgiving myself. The first obstacle to forgiving myself is that in a way I find the idea confusing. We forgive others when they do something wrong. If I say I will forgive myself for the abuse, it's like saying: yes I am guilty but I need to forgive myself. So anytime I hear forgive yourself it felt like you did wrrong but it's Ok. This was confusing because in my heart I know its not meant this way. I love the explanation that "forgiving yourself" means letting go.
Amazing video. Thank you. I did something so terrible a few years ago and I am trying to forgive myself but am in question about how deserving I am of doing so. I hope my shame reduces over time, and want to end tge cycle of mental health that runs so deep on both sides of my fam. Thank you again for your words.
I've been around some people who get obsessed with my past. They don't see how I overcame it. It makes me feel ashamed of myself. All I want to do is be left alone so no one will bother me. I care how I treat others. I don't have a problems forgiving others but myself.
Get around higher functioning people that don't project their fear on your past! I hope you have since you wrote this! I'm proud of you for how far you have come!
Dear Jodi I had an argument with some of my high school colleagues 7 years ago and they badmouthed me and humiliated me and I can't stop hating them for what they said to me and how they behaved towards me. I wish I could forget this traumatic event completely and move on with my life and build my future. I developed PTSD and have severe stomach pains, heartaches and headaches because of so much hate and resentment. I cannot function properly in my daily life (I cannot concentrate, pay attention and learn and also complete my daily chores) because of all this anger and resentment. I am desperate because I cannot let go of all this traumatic memories. I would really appreciate your advice on how to let go and move on with my own life and be happy. Thank you for your time and support.
Here are two resources for you jodiaman.com/letgo is a free mp3 on how to let go. Also I do have a forgive yourself and others class that people love go here jodiaman.com/forgive
Im still stuck in my past, always convincing myself that i was not Not feeling happy with myself and i've lost it everday.. I was blamming myself for all the wrong decisions that i did in my past.. And also when i've lost the members of the family I cant handle my emotions i felt like im losing my inner peace. I dont know how to overcome this feeling i feel like im losing my mind like im crazy.. I was trying to find a peace in my life and in my soul..
I made some horrible choices while drinking. Hurt some people making drunk calls. I'm so ashamed of myself, embarrassed and can't seem to let go. I've apologized to the people I needed to apologize to but my biggest battle is within myself. How could I be so stupid?? Why am I like this? Full of bad decisions. I'm my own worse enemy.
@@doctorjodi Okay. Will do. I don't believe in trying to change someone. Can you distance yourself from them? Is it fine to focus on positive things and be around positive people?
what about when it is deeper than that ..like family that you cant exactly just let them go?? and what if they continue to hurt and abuse you "?? it sounds easy but it isnt when its family. thanks.
You can let family go. People do it all the time. Or you can at least not take into your heart the things that they do, if you choose to keep them in your life. Either way you can let go of the past trespasses. But decide from this moment on, that they will no longer abuse you. And make that happen. When you are a child, you can't do anything, but as an adult, you have choices! Watch this video: jodiaman.com/anxiety-trauma-recovery/
I have a huge problem letting go. My mind works in such a way where I've mentally cataloged every bad experience I have had, including abuse by my peers and bad decisions I've made. I suffer from severe depression and anger because of it. I need to know, specifically, how to possibly let these bad things go...not to pretend they don't exist or never happened. It's impossible for me to forgive those who hurt me. I need help, please.
Chris Phoenix listen to the video. I say exactly how to practically do it. I have more videos on this topic too! Part of the problem is you think you can't. And that stops you. Change that belief first. I can help you: jodiaman.com/counseling
I meant that I like the explanation that forgiving is just letting go. Guilt is not in the equation. The way I used to explain forgivness was linked to guilt. God forgives my sins. I forgive those who have hurt me. If I say I need to forgive myself for the abuse means it was my fault and I am guilty but I should forgive myself so it was confusing to me. It was like hearing you are innocent then you are guilty at the same time? I don't know how to e plain it
+Nikky Ican (Nikky44) It is complex. You're not forgiving the abuse, you didn't do that. You are really forgiving yourself for thinking it is your fault. Letting go of the idea or belief that it is your fault. See? You are innocent the whole time except in "holding yourself responsible."
Thank you Jodi. It is clear now. I understand. I see now the difference. Guilt is so complicated. It's something I think about a lot. It is so diffficult. I feel like everyone is guilty and innocent at the same time. People are all good and innocent but they also all do wrong and hurt others but on very different levels
+Nikky Ican (Nikky44) Of course, none of it is black and white. Don't overthink it. Just understand it is part of being human to be imperfect. And it's okay to do the wrong thing sometimes. I surely do!
I cant let go of what my bf did to me when he fooled around on me for 9 months. We recently got back together, it's been good until I started getting signs of past events that he was doing to me come back. I confronted him but he denies it. How can I let the past go and move forward?
I'm so sorry that happened. Listen to the video. I say exactly how to practically do it. I have more videos on this topic too! If you want to talk, I can help you: jodiaman.com/counseling
I'm sick of it-I'll nearly have 2 apologise next 4 being tattooed..people make me sick they can do/have/get/c what they want but deprive me...its a hard thing 2 4give ..when uve put down a past/+presemt life that ive being through...
What do you do is when you forgave your parents for abuse and when my parents passed they never forgave me and said I love you that is what hindered me i try to focus it was not me but how do u deal with abuse that came from a child and now u still go through flashbacks that happen the thing i want to do is confront people that raped me but cannot confront them the others that raped me. Got away with it couldnt do nothing and i wake up feel each day numb went into Amandas office the person that was helping me told me let the feelings ride but how when you wake up no one to say it is okay to 😢 or to hug my family ripped apart after my parents died and than i got raped more people laughed about it and shamed me to where i cry easily but i dont show it i dont know what it like to even be loved it hurts so bad where i am engaged but am afraid to lose a relationship and the abuse issues it goes bk to when i first got choked raped and all from different ppl the cops did nothing when i got raped in 2017 and 2016 all i can ask is why what did i do not one person will tell me in my family we love u or hug me because of this it painful why is it because my sister was allowed ppl birthday parties and all growing up me i wasnt i look back and feel unloved when my family did this to me and so called friends i wanted clouser and to be strong for others is hard i put my shit aside fight it to be strong to help them out. The way i grew up is a book by David Peltzer child called IT but reverse it to the rapes when a parents are supposed to protect their children mine never did try ice hot shoved in your privates and your dad strip in front of you and than later it stops but the cycle was there. I was raped all over again even in lower michigan i can forgive ppl and explain each detail as it happend to june 22 2018 i deal with it and listen to others and help them but do not speak of my past like a song american pie not a word was spoken that is how i am i love others but once they find out even back as far as i grew up in elementary school Jodi they run my parents had CPS on them they denied it with me said they never done it. I was raped so many times and even from my step brother and to confront him it wont happen i just want closer and want answers that all i wanted
ok ummmm... so theres this freand and umm we were really close but sum thing happed before I tell you im going to tell you sum back stroy somi was about 9 wen I met her and she was in her 20s now Im really mature for my age as people say so thats why I get along with the young adults eny way we got close like we were beast friends or even sisters lol now that I think of it sum one did ask if we were sisters. Eny why lest fast ford like 5 months we were doimg community service they asind oh idk lets call her Channel so Channel was asind to help with check in and for about an hour it went will you know I was there helping her and stuff like that then I made a joke wale she was trying to help this family at ( at the time I was really big on jokes and playing around but at the time I didn't know wen to stop idk ill put it like this at the time I didn't know wen to play around or wen to stop I just did it) so long story short I said a joke she wasn't paing atenshen and imake another joke saying WOW YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME and then she saidmin a stern allmost yelling voice STOP UOU CAN SEE IM DOING SUMPTHING so you know later that week she said sorry and huged me really ferm and close and we moved on but I forgave her but it was really acword and to be onst I didn't really forgive her I mean i did but not fully so over time we still talked and all but it was just werd soon we stoped talking and she stoped coming to are church lets fast forward 6 to 7 months later I was ready to start taking I was missing on what we had before she moved on and left me lets fast forward to now I miss her like heck she recently moved to LA and she never said goodbye and i had so much overtonetys to read the nex chaper but I couldn't cuz I keep on rereading this on what do I do... oh and I have on contacts with her only her instagram
I tried there are good people i have in my life but they always remind me of her and what happened so evry time sumone becomes close i just get flustered and idk what to do wen Chanel said sorry to me and then huged me in that firm tite every time sumone huged me like that I just couldn't hug them nqck it brings me back and thats only 1 thing.
Very Positive! I had a hard time with forgiveness over a few people.Watching this has made me feel better.
I'm very glad it helped :)
Thank you Jodi for this video. I have no problem at all in forgiving others but a lot of trouble in forgiving myself. The first obstacle to forgiving myself is that in a way I find the idea confusing. We forgive others when they do something wrong. If I say I will forgive myself for the abuse, it's like saying: yes I am guilty but I need to forgive myself. So anytime I hear forgive yourself it felt like you did wrrong but it's Ok. This was confusing because in my heart I know its not meant this way. I love the explanation that "forgiving yourself" means letting go.
+Nikky Ican (Nikky44) Can you explain?
YES! the baggage weights us down and forces us into a battle we don't need to fight!!
Exactly!
Amazing video. Thank you. I did something so terrible a few years ago and I am trying to forgive myself but am in question about how deserving I am of doing so. I hope my shame reduces over time, and want to end tge cycle of mental health that runs so deep on both sides of my fam. Thank you again for your words.
You may like my program jodiaman.com/forgive
your smile is so comforting for me. ❤️
Thank You!
I've been around some people who get obsessed with my past. They don't see how I overcame it. It makes me feel ashamed of myself. All I want to do is be left alone so no one will bother me. I care how I treat others. I don't have a problems forgiving others but myself.
Get around higher functioning people that don't project their fear on your past! I hope you have since you wrote this! I'm proud of you for how far you have come!
Thank You So Much for your Beautiful Work & for sharing it
Thanks for listening
Dear Jodi
I had an argument with some of my high school colleagues 7 years ago and they badmouthed me and humiliated me and I can't stop hating them for what they said to me and how they behaved towards me. I wish I could forget this traumatic event completely and move on with my life and build my future. I developed PTSD and have severe stomach pains, heartaches and headaches because of so much hate and resentment. I cannot function properly in my daily life (I cannot concentrate, pay attention and learn and also complete my daily chores) because of all this anger and resentment. I am desperate because I cannot let go of all this traumatic memories. I would really appreciate your advice on how to let go and move on with my own life and be happy.
Thank you for your time and support.
Here are two resources for you jodiaman.com/letgo is a free mp3 on how to let go. Also I do have a forgive yourself and others class that people love go here jodiaman.com/forgive
Thank you for your videos.
you are so welcome!
Im still stuck in my past, always convincing myself that i was not
Not feeling happy with myself and i've lost it everday.. I was blamming myself for all the wrong decisions that i did in my past.. And also when i've lost the members of the family I cant handle my emotions i felt like im losing my inner peace. I dont know how to overcome this feeling i feel like im losing my mind like im crazy.. I was trying to find a peace in my life and in my soul..
God forgives. You can do this. I'm here for you
❤️
You would like my book Anxiety, I'm So Done with You! amzn.to/2zudoHZ
Thank you for making this video. It was simple, informative and really helpful. :-D
You are so welcome!
I'm glad it was helpful!
your voice make me happy
You would like my book Anxiety, I'm So Done with You! amzn.to/2zudoHZ
I deserve a woman that looks as good as you. I accept that.
Thank you!
I made some horrible choices while drinking. Hurt some people making drunk calls. I'm so ashamed of myself, embarrassed and can't seem to let go. I've apologized to the people I needed to apologize to but my biggest battle is within myself. How could I be so stupid?? Why am I like this? Full of bad decisions. I'm my own worse enemy.
Be gentle with yourself.
If you are interested, I have a Masterclass on Self-Forgiveness. offer.jodiaman.com/forgiveness-masterclass
Hugs,
Jodi
If You're moving on with your life what should you do if someone can't let go of your past? They keep dwelling on the bad things you do.
You have to set limits with them. You can't make someone change. Watch jodiaman.com/blog/setting-awesome-personal-boundaries/
@@doctorjodi Okay. Will do. I don't believe in trying to change someone. Can you distance yourself from them? Is it fine to focus on positive things and be around positive people?
what about when it is deeper than that ..like family that you cant exactly just let them go?? and what if they continue to hurt and abuse you "?? it sounds easy but it isnt when its family. thanks.
You can let family go. People do it all the time. Or you can at least not take into your heart the things that they do, if you choose to keep them in your life. Either way you can let go of the past trespasses. But decide from this moment on, that they will no longer abuse you. And make that happen. When you are a child, you can't do anything, but as an adult, you have choices! Watch this video: jodiaman.com/anxiety-trauma-recovery/
I have a huge problem letting go. My mind works in such a way where I've mentally cataloged every bad experience I have had, including abuse by my peers and bad decisions I've made. I suffer from severe depression and anger because of it. I need to know, specifically, how to possibly let these bad things go...not to pretend they don't exist or never happened. It's impossible for me to forgive those who hurt me. I need help, please.
Chris Phoenix listen to the video. I say exactly how to practically do it. I have more videos on this topic too! Part of the problem is you think you can't. And that stops you. Change that belief first. I can help you: jodiaman.com/counseling
Thanks, but I can't afford your kind of help.
I meant that I like the explanation that forgiving is just letting go. Guilt is not in the equation. The way I used to explain forgivness was linked to guilt. God forgives my sins. I forgive those who have hurt me. If I say I need to forgive myself for the abuse means it was my fault and I am guilty but I should forgive myself so it was confusing to me. It was like hearing you are innocent then you are guilty at the same time? I don't know how to e plain it
+Nikky Ican (Nikky44) It is complex. You're not forgiving the abuse, you didn't do that. You are really forgiving yourself for thinking it is your fault. Letting go of the idea or belief that it is your fault. See? You are innocent the whole time except in "holding yourself responsible."
Thank you Jodi. It is clear now. I understand. I see now the difference. Guilt is so complicated. It's something I think about a lot. It is so diffficult. I feel like everyone is guilty and innocent at the same time. People are all good and innocent but they also all do wrong and hurt others but on very different levels
+Nikky Ican (Nikky44) Of course, none of it is black and white. Don't overthink it. Just understand it is part of being human to be imperfect. And it's okay to do the wrong thing sometimes. I surely do!
I need help, I can not stop getting in trouble for almost nothing or over the littlest things in the world by my dad!
I'm so sorry. Hugs!
I cant let go of what my bf did to me when he fooled around on me for 9 months. We recently got back together, it's been good until I started getting signs of past events that he was doing to me come back. I confronted him but he denies it. How can I let the past go and move forward?
I'm so sorry that happened. Listen to the video. I say exactly how to practically do it. I have more videos on this topic too! If you want to talk, I can help you: jodiaman.com/counseling
I'm sick of it-I'll nearly have 2 apologise next 4 being tattooed..people make me sick they can do/have/get/c what they want but deprive me...its a hard thing 2 4give ..when uve put down a past/+presemt life that ive being through...
thomas baker u r welcome....😂😂😂😂
Hard and easy are mere ideas that we use to trick our brain.
What do you do is when you forgave your parents for abuse and when my parents passed they never forgave me and said I love you that is what hindered me i try to focus it was not me but how do u deal with abuse that came from a child and now u still go through flashbacks that happen the thing i want to do is confront people that raped me but cannot confront them the others that raped me. Got away with it couldnt do nothing and i wake up feel each day numb went into Amandas office the person that was helping me told me let the feelings ride but how when you wake up no one to say it is okay to 😢 or to hug my family ripped apart after my parents died and than i got raped more people laughed about it and shamed me to where i cry easily but i dont show it i dont know what it like to even be loved it hurts so bad where i am engaged but am afraid to lose a relationship and the abuse issues it goes bk to when i first got choked raped and all from different ppl the cops did nothing when i got raped in 2017 and 2016 all i can ask is why what did i do not one person will tell me in my family we love u or hug me because of this it painful why is it because my sister was allowed ppl birthday parties and all growing up me i wasnt i look back and feel unloved when my family did this to me and so called friends i wanted clouser and to be strong for others is hard i put my shit aside fight it to be strong to help them out. The way i grew up is a book by David Peltzer child called IT but reverse it to the rapes when a parents are supposed to protect their children mine never did try ice hot shoved in your privates and your dad strip in front of you and than later it stops but the cycle was there. I was raped all over again even in lower michigan i can forgive ppl and explain each detail as it happend to june 22 2018 i deal with it and listen to others and help them but do not speak of my past like a song american pie not a word was spoken that is how i am i love others but once they find out even back as far as i grew up in elementary school Jodi they run my parents had CPS on them they denied it with me said they never done it. I was raped so many times and even from my step brother and to confront him it wont happen i just want closer and want answers that all i wanted
My dad is abusing me. I was feeding a cat and I got in trouble for that😰😭😡
Talk to the police or someone that can help. Please talk to someone about this. Don't every change yourself
I hope you got some help.
ok ummmm... so theres this freand and umm we were really close but sum thing happed before I tell you im going to tell you sum back stroy somi was about 9 wen I met her and she was in her 20s now Im really mature for my age as people say so thats why I get along with the young adults eny way we got close like we were beast friends or even sisters lol now that I think of it sum one did ask if we were sisters. Eny why lest fast ford like 5 months we were doimg community service they asind oh idk lets call her Channel so Channel was asind to help with check in and for about an hour it went will you know I was there helping her and stuff like that then I made a joke wale she was trying to help this family at ( at the time I was really big on jokes and playing around but at the time I didn't know wen to stop idk ill put it like this at the time I didn't know wen to play around or wen to stop I just did it) so long story short I said a joke she wasn't paing atenshen and imake another joke saying WOW YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME and then she saidmin a stern allmost yelling voice STOP UOU CAN SEE IM DOING SUMPTHING so you know later that week she said sorry and huged me really ferm and close and we moved on but I forgave her but it was really acword and to be onst I didn't really forgive her I mean i did but not fully so over time we still talked and all but it was just werd soon we stoped talking and she stoped coming to are church lets fast forward 6 to 7 months later I was ready to start taking I was missing on what we had before she moved on and left me lets fast forward to now I miss her like heck she recently moved to LA and she never said goodbye and i had so much overtonetys to read the nex chaper but I couldn't cuz I keep on rereading this on what do I do...
oh and I have on contacts with her only her instagram
Find some other good people to lift you up. holding onto her just is hurting you. It's is her limits, not yours.
I tried there are good people i have in my life but they always remind me of her and what happened so evry time sumone becomes close i just get flustered and idk what to do wen Chanel said sorry to me and then huged me in that firm tite every time sumone huged me like that I just couldn't hug them nqck it brings me back and thats only 1 thing.
i like you :)
Thank you