It’s an old trope and never worked before anyway, so it’s a good time for men to step up and find a new way to satisfy their emotional needs and build confidence that doesn’t involve controlling other people. Or porn.
He wants to be sole provider of an entire family... on 35k??? This guy is delusional. Probably would realize how impossible it is once the first baby would be born, and then bail on wife and kid.
@@shaypope4732 Agreed. That screams 'control'. Men see themselves losing control of women and their free labor. They are basically losing their minds..
And saddle her with a kid or two for good measure to make sure she never becomes monetarily above him again and he doesn't feel bad about himself anymore.
1st husband is getting his info from Tradtok while smoking? With this inflation? Is he living in his mama's house? Because I can't imagine a person who pays rent or has recently bought a mango or a pack of cereal to be this delulu.
It's wild he's calling the woman who refuses to be a SAHM on his low salary shallow when she is the only person thinking about the low quality of life not only they would have but their future children. Meanwhile he is only concerned by some abstract notion of male achievement that he wants to reach at the cost of everyone else's wellbeing. Now that's selfish, and that's shallow.
He was trying to trap her. She would be dependent on him for money for milk for the kids etc. She saw where this was going to go, and she was straight and direct to the point, and I am here for it. She did NOT make him feel worthless, he was already worthless before she met him, she just highlighted it for him.
Just saw a video where a woman was in a podcast debate with a man and she tried to explain why she disagreed with a certain topic and the man told her she should speak in a more feminine way. How to speak feminine? Agree with everything he says apparently. I've had a guy tell me once that my laugh was not really feminine. I was like and your opinion matters because...? Bunch of clowns 🤡
@@daughterofyemojaI'm a short, weight-lifting woman with huge hands and a deep voice, I wouldn't even know where to start being feminine 😂 wtf even is that? I clean up nice, but I still look like a pit bull in a hair bow, and I like myself so I'mma keep rocking.
This would be the same guy who would complain about his wife being a SAHM and not “wanting to work” despite the fact he wanted that when money is too low.
Am I only one who notice that these guys never look for the woman screaming they wanna be house wife's. They're always trying to force a independent woman to stop everything for them. It's weird
@Peachyqueen23 that's beyond hell that's the depth of the sea or ocean that never been discovered cause no human can surpass it even with oxygen and scuba gear and a submarine
Money is power and men want women to be powerless and at their mercy, that's why they want women to leave their jobs and stay at home. If it was about the kids or whatever reasons they give, men who make less would volunteer to be the stay at home.
I googled it... 35k pounds to US is $43,838.90 a YEAR... $43K A year to be a housewife in the US with a husband, wife and kids... on $43k BEFORE taxes Absolutely NOT
These men always think women should lie to protect their ego, but at some point they need to hear the truth, and come to terms with it. At some point they have to acknowledge that, at the end of the day, those children rely on their MOTHER to make sure they are taken care of. If a man’s ego is getting bruised when his girlfriend points out reality, then what is going to happen when the kids are here, and the reality smacks him in the face. The reality that he cannot support his family will result in him running away. If he isn’t leveling up now, then he most certainly won’t level up later. My mother and grandmother always told us girls that we better get exactly what we expect from a man upfront, because he certainly won’t give it to you later.
All of this! When I hear these guys wanting trad wife I'm like yall need to think about it all the way through including the standard of living when the kids get here up to they turn 18 & sometimes beyond that. Yeah sahm cut cost like daycare but you still need health insurance for the entire family, etc. which would eat a solo income paycheck.
Right? And she's already providing herself a good life, she isn't asking for some impractical fantasy life. He was way out of line for trying to get her out of her lane into his so she can be jobless with children.
I have a friend who had a baby and her husband told her not to go back to work but she showed him their budget (because of course she actually handles the bills) and how they literally can’t afford it. And he’s mad at her about it. You read that right. They’re mad at us that they can’t support a family.
Ok, can we stop shaming people for wanting comfort? We're not even talking luxury here, just plain comfort? That is NOT shallow. OP1 also says she grew up in poverty, dismissing that and how important it is to her to be independant is just horrible.
Nevermind how selfish it is to bring children into a situation where they will have to go without. The woman grew up in poverty so I am sure she knows how it feels to not have the things she wants and needs. No extracurricular activities, no sports. Not enough money for school clothes and supplies. Etc etc She is aware of the negative impact that has on a child and doesn’t want that for her children. Good for her.
He knows 35k is not enough. He had no long term plans of being with her. He was jealous of her income and lifestyle. He wants her to invest in him and for her to build his career instead. Then he would seek another woman claiming he was self built. He would likely attempt to leave her in the worst situation possible hoping that she would not recover and do better than him. Very similar to frenemies.
The UK is too expensive to live on 35k with kids and a stay at home wife. She did the right thing and spoke her mind about what she wanted. Even a single person will struggle with that amount. I wonder what planet he is on!! Unity left long when many of the xys did🙄
I swear you are so right because if he actually did want what he claims to want then he would volunteer to be the house husband than the other way around instead of struggle in poverty.
I continued to go to school while I was married, just because I knew I wanted to strive for a better life and career. Now that I’m divorced, I’m so happy that I did, because I get no child support.
So the 1st lady is "shallow" because she doesn't want to give up her comfortable lifestyle to struggle with him on the equivalent of 43k in US dollars? Why is he even trying to entertain a woman that earns far more than he does? He needs to find a woman in his income bracket who is willing to struggle with him. His ego is bruised because she burst his bubble. For the last story, BW have accepted that many BM aren't going to change & we're tired of carrying the community on our backs, so we've accepted it and moved on.
Again bc you're thinking of them as human when they are not. They are parasites. Do you think a parasite will find a good host andngonseeking another??? They would NOT. maybe now that explains why these men always try to change the women instead of finding women that already fit what they want. If women don't get this about about, this world is basically done. Parasites will behave like parasites. You're confused bc of their human look and the fact that it sounds crazy and no one's had an explanation of how it could'vhapoenes. But THAT is the behavior 💯. The only time they remotely resemble human in behavior is superficially, exactly what a wolf in sheep's clothing would be. And how does one tell a wolf that looks like sheep appart from all the other sheep??? It behaves DIFFERENTLY. It behaves like a PREDATOR. EVERY TIME. You don't go by their look. Stop looking at their human visages and look at their behavior
#2 This guy sounded like he hit the jackpot. He found an experienced mother who was also non-custodial to take care of his children. It doesn't surprise me that his true colors are showing. How much does everyone want to bet that she would absolutely be 100% responsible for his children the entire time they were at his house? He might even have went for custody on the strength of her taking care of them oh he needs to leave and treat him exactly the way he treated her
I love this community too! I am 46 and have been celibate and single for 6 years. I wish we would have had these types of talks 20 years ago. Better late than never. Ladies, choose yourself!
He's inviting her to live a life in poverty and calls her shallow, rude, and mean??!! He's lucky she didn't smack him across the face for insulting her. The strength of his ego is based upon her giving up her accomplishments and financial security in order for him to feel like a big man and she's not down with it. One of them is not too smart, and it ain't her!
They complain but never ever state how they are improving the lives of their families and communities to reach their desired goals. Just sit on their butts and talk crap into the internet waiting on a woman to do all the work.
EXACTLY. Ole dude failed to mention the financial dynamic of the Hispanic community. If you even try to compare them to men of other communities, they mention WS faster than you can blink. But, will say with that same quickness that BW don’t experience what they do (even tho we are both blck). Honestly it’s too late, and it’s completely on brand for them to try and uturn when it’s too late.
@@lovelylonerur not wrong Hun everything I have I worked hard for but also remember immigrants get free clothes, supplies, food, house/hotel voucher, allowance every 28 days, prepaid credit card every month and if they have a business back home extra 36k a month plus free bus/train card every month ,after school programs health insurance, dental and vision they already took 77mill to give to immigrants then they got 53mill more of taxes to give them but ppl who been paying taxes all their lives can't get anything cause they want to cut social security, union workers, cops, teachers etc salaries and raise the ages of social security they even shut down schools to house some of them because hotels are full and ppl with kids were protesting cause they have to homeschool the kids and cut them from after school care programs which they said they were cut from work because they have nowhere to put their kids cause they said immigrants are first priority so if I had a leg up on free everything I would be straight too oh yeah they go out during the day and knock on ppl doors demanding money they even beat the cops butt for trying to stop them and got out without bail I don't know how but they were free the same day
I had a dude suggest I drop out of grad school and follow him around as a military wife. I already had my bachelors at the time, so I could have gotten a career type job if I wanted but the way he wanted me to cut off my dreams to follow him around was such a turn off.
They want a woman to give up everything for the grand prize of just being with them. one partner should never have to sacrifice everything for the other. I’ve dated men who were quick to want me to just relocate and move into their homes, etc when I have my own home and career. My daughter goes to school here, etc. they just assume you will give up everything. If you suggest they move in with you they wouldn’t even consider it. Lol
The first woman is correct, dude must be doing boy math😂😂😂. Second woman, I just wish these ladies would learn to stop moving in with these men and they aren't married just take care of your son he is your first priority.
Why is he thinking of a family living on that salary? The guy is the AH thinking his salary would ve safe for a family to live on. Men need to stay in poverty by themselves instead of making overty striken families.
It's because they want the "bragging rights" attached to "taming" strong independent women. They like the idea of making someone like that subservient to them. It's a power fantasy. They want control, to be in charge and catered to.
😂😂😂😂 £35k to support a family......is he on drugs. Once rent/ mortgage, council tax, tv licence, gas electricity, food, travel for work and miscellaneous. That's signing up for a basic life especially in London. If she agreed to that she would be in an abusive relationship. He would be constantly moody as he would be broke the day after payday.
And when reality hits him, he would leave her and the kid and run..... Oh, wait diapers and baby formula are expensive and they need more than one bag per week!? Kindergarten and school uniforms, supplies like pencils, books and so on are so expensive!? What kids grow fast and there are times you need new shoes and clothes every few weeks!? Yeah, that's not what I thought I sign up too!
Exactly! This 🤡 is using boy math for sure🤦🏿♀️ No way in heck I'm downgrading my lifestyle to live on one person's salary of £35/40k. You must be mental😂😂
That first guy needs therapy. He's mad at his situation and is mad at her for standing her ground and pointing out what he's already insecure about. He doesn't need a wife, he needs therapy and better goals.
The man is using the lady to watch his kids and he doesn’t want to have to help her with her son. Red flag! Run! Don’t quit your job. Work at night or from home during the day.
If a man wants to be a provider, then he better work for it. They need to stop expecting other people to pretend for their sake. Just like how many have come to terms with the fact that they may never be able to afford a luxury car or private jet, these men need to come to terms with the fact that they may never be able to afford a housewife. At least, not a quality one.
From what I've seen, black women do nothing but stick together and support each other. To the point where black men are constantly accusing us of "co-signing each other's bullshit" so which one is it? Because we're always lending each other money, or looking after each other's kids, taking trips together or renting places together so we can all save money. So many times during my childhood there were female friends or family staying with us so they could escape an abuser or a cheater. Maybe black men are the ones who don't support each other.
oh but they do!!!! they say on the "we wont take accountability for our sexual irresponsibility, thats 1....2 victim blaming, 3 condoing cheating/infidelity/gaslighting....lol oh they support each other alright
You can't talk to a man that gets offended by every little thing. You start telling them what they aren't doing, you become the problem. There are so many things that add up when taking care of a house and raising children. They have no clue, they think they do, but they prove over and over again, they don't. *The first story, the woman hurt his feelings by being honest. Not rude or shallow. Intelligent and thoughtful. That's why it hurt his feelings, because he doesn't feel good enough. He should talk to a counselor or therapist.
I live with a guy who was trained to be a SAHM cooks (bad), cleans, everything yet he hates having to aid his kids when he lost his job he'll act ok or nice infront of them yet one day he was upset I heard him growl, "I'm a fucking stay at home dad! I hate this!" he's only being this SAH to gain mommy points from his ex who took him in they got in a fight once she told him calmly a fact on his behavior and he goes "you're always trying to control me!" then she pointed out he's living with her for free, she's buying his food, cooking his meals, all he has to do is raise his kids & clean the house a free deal all around yet she's "controlling" him. She's told him to live with his dad who kicked him out which is why he's with her! He shut up and sulked for days after!
£35K a year is not enough for a single person with a mortgage, bills, car expenses let alone support a wife AND children! The man is delusional or just stupid and women should not mess with either. I earn good money in the UK, however I would be below broke if I lived on my own and started a family. That to me is irresponsible and inpractical.
2nd story: if OP starts work so early, that means her partner must be the one getting his children up and to school in the morning. Sounds like he’s just not prepared to put in the same effort for her son.
@@manifest2203 11 year old cant "take care of themselves" so im not sure if youre implying he knows how to adequately care for himself in all aspects or just has a reasonable amount of logical reasoning but....its an 11 year child. Perhaps lets pump the brakes before we saddle children that we bring into this world with the responsibility to fend for themselves. Last I checked 11 year olds still need their parents to care for them unless theyre forced to endure on their own. Thats not ideal imo but you may not agree based on your sentiment.
anytime anyone says "stay home, relax, I'll support you" don't believe them they be lying your momma, your sister, your bf/gf, anybody they don't mean it after 1 month it'll show!
I learned that the hard way. It's been 25 years since I left and I still have to battle the flashbacks. I have to fight the inner voice that tries to say, "how could you have fallen for that??" I am grateful for Burb n Bougie and other communities which are comforting me that I'm not alone. I am glad that the younger generations are learning not to fall for these cons.
I get what you’re saying, sis, but I just had to get an estimate for some custom carpentry work and I almost fainted at the amount. 👀 Carpenters are seriously out here making orthodontist level money
@@dianaprince3176 there are reliable good reputation carpenters and then there are those who only work when they feel like it and are somehow always somewhat broke, along with a bad reputation. so it depends on the carpenter really
SMH.. That's why he's like this. He wants to use money as a means of control. I'm definitely not living in poverty to feed a man's ego when I am fully able and willing to earn money for myself and my household.
We had our 2 grandsons for about 13 days earlier this month. Husband is a retired/disabled vet & Im in higher education. I crockpotted meals & when I got home, I took the kids. Played with, feed, and put them bed. Hubby went upstairs around 7 and by 745, I could hear him 💤 After they left, he was in the bed two days. It physically & emotionally drained him. SAHM don’t usually get the reprieve I gave my husband & he was still exhausted. It’s not always a flex & sometimes it will make you a married/single mother.
35k is by no means a flex to cosplay hegemonic patriarch. That’s not even patriarch on a budget. This man would be delusional to most men… in the mainstream culture.
#1 men understand that being a housewife is neither easy nor luxurious. If it was that simple, they would be doing it themselves. If housework was easy you would not have thousands of reddits talking about how their husbands throw tantrums when they go on vacation and allow their children to destroy the house, or refusing to clean up after them when they were sick. They will consistently insist that being a housewife is easy and some even go as far as to sabotage your career because they want to retain their exclusive use of you. I can't imagine trying to support an entire family unless than 50,000 a year (depending on what part of the country you live in. Two cars, two children, a house that's not going to be comfortable unless you live somewhere where the cost of living is dramatically lower than average. I also think that demanding a stay-at-home wife right off the bat with someone who's worked their whole life is a red flag. I see a lot of these allegedly traditional men fantasizing about having complete control over their woman and using reproductive coercion to get it. I would run for the hills before he starts sabotaging birth control. These types stop at nothing to get what they feel entitled to. They do not care about your health safety or well-being.
“Reproductive coercion” is the perfect term for this! These clowns are out here baby-trapping women! Thirty years ago, I had someone try that with me. Dodged a bullet with that one. He was trying everything he could to sabotage birth control so I would be stuck with him. When I figured it out and left, 15 years later (no exaggeration), he was tracking me down on the other side of the country, calling my job trying to find me. These XYz continue to fail and flail for years rather than getting their lives together. Edited to add: He made considerably less money than I did, and wanted me to keep working “once we have children” & HE would be the SAHD.
First one: She did the right thing. This man is living a pipe dream that he knows he can never accomplish. The fact he is mad she doesn't want to suffer under him is extremely telling. I do love how she worded it.~❤ Second one: She is doing what is right for her child. If her partner has reservations about having her child in the house too, then that is a red flag. Sounds almost like he wanted her arrangements to stay the same so she can raise his kids and not her own. It's very weird. What does her partner think her son will do? Third one: Women, black women especially, are tired of giving so much and recieving nothing. Building up a male has proved not to give you anything but headache and heart ache. So, women are done. Women will build our own together and hopefully, get more out of life than our mothers and grandmothers did. I want their fight for MY rights to MEAN something!!!
My boss had a sign on her door “Welcome to the world of sunshine and rainbows. Wishes granted.” It was, of course, a joke, as she reviewed possible research projects with an unflinching eye, often giving people bad news. This guy is living in rainbow land.
Rainbows are beautiful so he lives in the Syria desert just dust,sand storms everywhere he goes cause it's going to be drought in his wallet,house and her pumpum if he doesn't get a better income
In many places in the US, even $75-100k isn't enough for a family or single person to live off of due to housing costs, so it isn't enough in the UK. Most XYs thrive in struggle, destruction, and chaos, which is why that fool thinks his low salary is adequate for a partner and family. Children are expensive and parents should want to provide more than the bare minimum for them. This woman wasn't wrong for expressing that he didn't make enough money for a stay at home wife and children. She was being logical while he got emotional at her response. With #2 her and her son are a package deal. She is not wrong for breaking up with fool. He wants a live-in nanny and maid for his children, but phuck her son! I am glad she is prioritizing her child because his safety and well-being is important. No comment on Ashquan Glocktavius and his narrow world view.🙄😒
I can understand why he was upset - it hurt his ego but honestly it had to be said. She either had to tell him her requirements or just ghost him. She can't continue to waste both of their times
She's not the A hole. I appreciate people who help others come up with possible solutions to their problems, instead of only criticizing them. I appreciate Burb N Boujie for discouraging unnecessarily mean spirited comments.
Did I mention that I work in property management. Having 10 people in a 3 bedroom apartment is not a flex. The law in the state that I live in says 2 heart beats per bedroom. 10 people in a 3 bedroom is a safety, health and fire violation. Two "famous" xy youtubers recently posted a video in which a young woman said a man that makes $50k should not date because $50k is not enough money to maintain a wife and a household. In the area that I live in, she is %1000 correct. As you imagine, the hemotionals were boo- hooing, calling her a gold digger and saying women should lower their standards.
When I move to Germany i was making a little over 75k and it's just me and it wasn't enough so I know for a fact 35k won't work with how much inflammation is now he wants everyone to suffer cause he is
I live in Oxford UK. You need to be earning at least £60,000- £70,000 per year (at least) to live a decent stand and maintain a stay at home wife excluding children. £30,000-£35,000 is a starting middle class, single person pay. So yeah this man is not accounting for his lady's clothes, haircuts, shoes, food and oh....the cost of living crisis we are having right now..... LOL.
And when reality hits him, he would leave her and the kid and run..... Oh, wait diapers and baby formula are expensive and they need more than one bag per week!? Kindergarten and school uniforms, supplies like pencils, books and so on are so expensive!? What kids grow fast and there are times you need new shoes and clothes every few weeks!? Yeah, that's not what I thought I sign up too!
The first story and second story have a clear theme. When it comes to their resources they are very practical and have to “think about it”. But when it comes to your resources and you losing money and making use of your time, it’s all good and if you point something out, then you are rude. The first dude wanted the lady to be a sahm and give up her job/ resources. The Second dude had to “think about” taking in his live in partners son who is suffering from abuze.
The first woman is not wrong about her feelings or standards. She may have said it in a rude or hurtful way (we weren't there), but even if she did she did do them both a favor by letting him know what she wanted and who she is.
When I first met my husband, he was only making $100k+. I said I wouldn’t marry him and be a sahw if he didn’t make $200k. He started a business and now makes way more than I asked for. The guy in the video is out of his mind. If my husband lost his money, I’d leave. No amount of LoVe is going to make me stay with a broke man.
See how quick a man will snatch up your resources but show so much practicality when it comes to there time and resources? I wish I would spend money on A supposedly protector and providers children.🥴Tuh
This reminds me of a story another content provider told about a man who wanted the same thing. He got the housewife, the kid and couldn't make it. He went back to his wife with his newborn and asked her to go back to work. She understandably resisted. Planning to return to work after you just had a baby is a WHOLE nother set of plans that couldn't just happen because he realized it wasn't going to work. It has been LITERAL decades since this single income plan has worked for anyone but the wealthy. Any working class man in my lifetime had at least two jobs if his wife stayed at home. These men are childish, give them as little of your energy as possible.
Prince charming is not coming, girl. Go get your education or degree or license or certification. Make that money buy your house go on vacation 🎉hallelujah😊🎉
Why would she feel bad about that? If you're in that class bracket you're in that class bracket, why should I downgrade my class bracket to make you feel better? That's just sounds dumb. That's like saying if a guy is used to driv in I'm ozzaradi now. Because he, you know, because woman said that you know she won't 5 kids. He should give up his mazarati to drive A station wagon , they would never they wouldn't never so why should I that sounds dumb
I love Mustangs. I had an ex bf years ago tell me that I would have to sell my Mustang (and he’d give me his broken down 2001 Ford Explorer) … because after he would get me pregnant that I wouldn’t be able to take a baby around in a Mustang. 👏😆 listen fool … Mustangs over vatos any day!
@@BuffaloJenny79 😂 what a jerk! I had a few exes telling me about their stupid fantasies about MY future life and I was always the "yeah, I don't think so...boy bye!" type 😅 No regrets on my side until today! Today I earn more than most men in my country without having a lot of stress at work, I travel to different countries for work at least 4 times a year, I enjoy my peaceful life with my pets and plants, meet up with family and friends regularly! 100% better than being a married single mom with a full time job.....
S2: mom would be the AH (to herself and the kid) if she left her son in an abusive situation with the bio dad like that. I have seen that play out in real life when new stepdads force the mother to leave the own kids behind. Scars the kids for Life and is more often than not a sign they are going to be manipulative, abusive partners pulling all kinds of stunts on the new woman by their side :/ If someone openly shuns your children as your alleged new life partner, run!
There are some people in my life that think that when somebody makes 30 or 40 K a year should be able to afford a living, truthfully, that really depends on where you live, and what you have access to. The most golden situation is to have a higher than average salary in a lower living cost area, I don’t recommend a break even just because everything could happen to upset that balance. Anything anyone can do to build the savings but that is also even the context of per person. Let’s say I make $1000 on my paycheck and I get paid twice a month. What doesn’t help is I have to pay for rent which is $1500. With gas, car payments, and groceries, I could barely make it out without much of a savings, and that from the viewpoint of a single guy, I’m sure it would be even more pricey for anybody else. And now I’m somebody thinking that “ sure this is a great idea for a single income household.” /s That is insane, a very uneconomical. Depending on the area, one would have to have at least three to four person income to have a single income household to afford housing and accessibility to resources.
You know, I didn't like when my mom would burst my DreamBubble with the Needle of Reality. I'd do the first guy like my mom would do me; Show Me the Math!
35k in todays economy in the UK doesn’t cut it. I made slightly less then that 20 years ago as a single lass in London and I was struggling. The guy is delusional.
We live in a world where women have the ability to survive on their own. Relationships have become a luxury not a necessity. Whining won’t change this fact. Men need to prove to women that they’re worth being in a relationship or they will be alone.
$35k per year for a family is delusional. They would be struggling. They want women to stop operating on emotions and be logical, until it’s time for women to be logical; then they get their egos hurt.
Has anyone ever noticed a lot of these men don't step up to get better careers? Does that make sense? In my opinion, a mature man would consider what she had to say, then step up to get a better paying career. But, what I see is the unwillingness to change, to become better. Then, take out their lack and anger out on the woman for being honest. Yikes.
i feel her....this is what i be thinking when it comes to marriage...i am not willing to give up the things i am able to do for myself just to be married...nope im good!!!! i like having my own money and my own time to do what i want when i want
Men always call themselves the “logical” ones and say that they are supposed to “lead” women, but the minute a woman they’re involved with tries to explain how what the man wants just isn’t financially feasible, there’s a problem. They’re all about “accountability” & “responsibility” when speaking about women and their lack thereof, but when a woman wants to be responsible and plan for the future and her offspring’s needs, the men don’t want to talk about it. Suddenly the woman is a gold-digger, or she is “in her masculine” (gawd I hate that nonsense phrase) & won’t “let the man guide her”. Yeah, as we see in this first story, he wants to guide her alright…straight into a cage of poverty and struggling. If you’re old enough, you remember “comedy” TV shows where the SAHM blew all of the poor widdle hard working man’s money (“Married With Children” comes to mind) on frivolous things. The man would often question why the woman needed money, and she’d have to sweet-talk and cajole the man to get it. I’ll be damned if I’m going to BEG someone for grocery money to feed myself, just because they don’t understand prices, inflation, and balanced meals. A lot of these dudes think: “I live just fine by myself on $43,000/yr! She’s just got to BUDGET and not waste MY money, and then I could support a whole family on that just like my granddaddy did! Women just don’t want to be traditional anymore; they’re lazy and don’t want to cook a good inexpensive meal from scratch like my grandma did!” Sure, let’s just pretend that the cost of living hasn’t greatly outpaced incomes. These dudes are trying to live in some retro fantasy world where you had a job your entire life, and that job came with a pension, great medical coverage, and generous paid time off. Now? You’ve got to take at least 8% of that measly little salary and invest it yourself to cover your retirement, and if you guess wrong or the market crashes at the wrong time, well…too bad. I sincerely hope successful women en masse start leaving these men right where they’re at. Let Pickmeesha and Barb the Builder have ‘em. Going to be a rough road for a lot of people in their later years, as the last generations to have had any kind of retirement cushion on a large scale are leaving right now. That’s why these folks in power want younger people to keep cranking out kids, and for women to settle down with some struggle bae: They need obedient workers for the future to keep paying into the system and keep it afloat. Phuck that noise. Don’t let these dudes trap you into a life of misery. Better have your own money.
It’s a good thing OP stood her ground and is honest about what she wants. The cost of living is so damn high that it’s NOT enough to support a family let alone a single person!!!! The OP and her date are definitely not compatible and they are better off seeing other people. Even if you did have a family you can’t always depend on others to support you.
1) WTF is he mad about? She just saved both of them a lot of time by being honest. Also, the audacity of these dudes. 🙄🙄 2) I can see how he might be surprised by this news but as a parent he should understand that the child's safety comes first. If he can't pivot out of love and concern for her and her situation, then she should at minimum put their relationship on pause, not move in with him, and get her situation straightened out. Of course, there's also the possibility that he figured she'd mother HIS kids only. Again...the audacity... 3) I am SO tired of black folks acting like every other group moves in lockstep with each other and they do it better than us. I grew up around all kinds of folks and EVERY group has functional and dysfunctional people in it. Even when segregation was in place -- hell, even when SLAVERY was in place -- you never had everybody agreeing with each other 100%. That's called being human. We are no more or no less human than any other group of people.
The second story Im more surprised she assumed that the child would just live with them? Thats bringing a whole new man around your son. Its safer to get a separate place if anything, living with him shouldnt have been an option imo. It is odd though because he also had two kids...is his career compromised with his current children? Or is it just a problem brining in her child?
Under 40K a month is a joke unless you live off the land, fully own your property as in no mortgage/rent, no car notes, no debt, are ok with only thrifting, never going shopping, things like lipstick being a luxury, then adding kids in the mix will only multiply the poverty. I live in one of the lowest cost of living areas and was a SAHM with my husband bringing in over 100K, we were comfortable but money was still tight, now that I also work we can afford and save up significantly more, things like kids college funds, retirement savings, house repairs, vacations are now attainable when they weren’t before. If we lived anywhere else we would be struggling. I’m pretty sure cost of living in the UK is about the same so I don’t know what delulu land that man lives in, she definitely dodged a bullet, either a life of extreme poverty or resentment for her working if she stayed.
Someone needs to tell the first man that SAHM don't have one minute to relax My sister both are SAHM at the moment and they haven't even one minute to relax or go to toilet because they need to keep cleaning or the children are cling to them like crazy meanwhile their husbands come from work and sleep eat go take a shower or just relax because they don't have any bond with their kids Even worse is that my sisters have to clean after their husbands they leave their dirty clothes on the floor or for example after eating roasted chicken they leave their bones at the sink for my sisters to throw them away Last week, my brother-in-law accidentally dropped my sister's razor and saw it but didn't even bother to pick it up
![[UNCUT] The Loyal Pin ปิ่นภักดิ์ EP.15 (2/4)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/qbHbshrA1f0/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm so sick of some men thinking that a woman should be happy to share a life with them, even if it means living in poverty.
l Agree 🤡🤛🏾
It’s an old trope and never worked before anyway, so it’s a good time for men to step up and find a new way to satisfy their emotional needs and build confidence that doesn’t involve controlling other people. Or porn.
He wants to be sole provider of an entire family... on 35k??? This guy is delusional. Probably would realize how impossible it is once the first baby would be born, and then bail on wife and kid.
THIS!🎯🎯🎯
That's exactly the plan but he wants to make sure she has nothing with him and without him
@@shaypope4732 Agreed. That screams 'control'. Men see themselves losing control of women and their free labor. They are basically losing their minds..
In America men expect less than that .. they want to be in their feminine era
And saddle her with a kid or two for good measure to make sure she never becomes monetarily above him again and he doesn't feel bad about himself anymore.
No woman should ever be embarrassed for expecting a man to make a lot of money if he expects her to be a housewife.
l Agree 💯
A single person can barely live on 40k a year. A family at 40k a year is poverty!!!! POVERTY!!!
Even with a few roommates!
Yep- sadly, in Los Angeles, you could make that and be homeless. Never mind providing for a family.
This depends on the state they are in and IF they have no debt they shouldn't of gotten themselves into
1st husband is getting his info from Tradtok while smoking? With this inflation? Is he living in his mama's house? Because I can't imagine a person who pays rent or has recently bought a mango or a pack of cereal to be this delulu.
So true. He is delusional.
It's wild he's calling the woman who refuses to be a SAHM on his low salary shallow when she is the only person thinking about the low quality of life not only they would have but their future children. Meanwhile he is only concerned by some abstract notion of male achievement that he wants to reach at the cost of everyone else's wellbeing. Now that's selfish, and that's shallow.
Please Say that Again for Those in the Back I Don’t Think They Heard You ✨✨✨✨
Ladies, men know children care + chores are not easy and not relaxing. That's why men don't want to do it! STOP second guessing yourself.
And please please no need to explain. Just say no and go on with your day
@@RomanfillVerne this! They know and they want your labor at a discount.
Ok 🫰🫰🫰
He was trying to trap her. She would be dependent on him for money for milk for the kids etc. She saw where this was going to go, and she was straight and direct to the point, and I am here for it.
She did NOT make him feel worthless, he was already worthless before she met him, she just highlighted it for him.
Yeowwww that's the truth!
He already knew he was worthless. He was hoping she didn't notice
🎯🎯🎯
With an inflation rate ego though
Relax? Watching kids. Watching a child and taking care of the house is the hardest labor EVER because it never ends. 😅
Exactly why he wants her to do it
I say she leaves and goes on a girls weekend and let him take care of the house and kids. See how he feels then😹😹😹
Isn't it wild that a woman's honest opinion is considered rude😑
She needed to giggle or something to make it go down easier for him.
Gaslighting BS🤡🤛🏾
Just saw a video where a woman was in a podcast debate with a man and she tried to explain why she disagreed with a certain topic and the man told her she should speak in a more feminine way. How to speak feminine? Agree with everything he says apparently. I've had a guy tell me once that my laugh was not really feminine. I was like and your opinion matters because...? Bunch of clowns 🤡
@@daughterofyemojaI'm a short, weight-lifting woman with huge hands and a deep voice, I wouldn't even know where to start being feminine 😂 wtf even is that? I clean up nice, but I still look like a pit bull in a hair bow, and I like myself so I'mma keep rocking.
"its not my job to make you feel like a man. i cant make you something you're not."
This would be the same guy who would complain about his wife being a SAHM and not “wanting to work” despite the fact he wanted that when money is too low.
"She's living EZ while I busting butt!" & "She's a gold digger!" Over the inevitable future divorce - mostly initiated via finances
I was reading a study over the weekend that was done in 2018 saying men love to struggle now I see what they mean
@@fantym1633he doesn't even have copper pennies but talking about gold diggers lawd help them
He wants to be in control of her and the money
Yep, in 6 months he'll be calling her a gold digger.
Am I only one who notice that these guys never look for the woman screaming they wanna be house wife's. They're always trying to force a independent woman to stop everything for them. It's weird
Yeah I’m pretty sure it has something to do with taking women’s freedom away and how a lot of men don’t like consent
Oh you're right! They really do not like consent. Consent is boring. That's why pickmes don't get picked
Pick mes know how to play their game and win! These dudes know that
Seems like a power play. And women would rather be alone at this point. Why struggle?
@@BurbNBougie🎯🎯🎯
Women need to stop dating down. It's not even safe for your well-being to do that.
He’s delusional. He’s going to downgrade, have you struggle then disrespect you knowing it will be hard for you to leave. No sir. Bye
They want you to leave heaven to go to hell with them😂
@Peachyqueen23 that's beyond hell that's the depth of the sea or ocean that never been discovered cause no human can surpass it even with oxygen and scuba gear and a submarine
l Agree 💯
Money is power and men want women to be powerless and at their mercy, that's why they want women to leave their jobs and stay at home. If it was about the kids or whatever reasons they give, men who make less would volunteer to be the stay at home.
This 💯
Exactly!
I googled it... 35k pounds to US is $43,838.90 a YEAR...
$43K A year to be a housewife in the US with a husband, wife and kids... on $43k BEFORE taxes
Absolutely NOT
He would have to be matched with someone who makes like $12k per year. Like a really bad part-time waitress.
All these men wanting "man of the house" treatment without "man of the house" money have no business dating anyone, let alone marriage and kids
These men always think women should lie to protect their ego, but at some point they need to hear the truth, and come to terms with it. At some point they have to acknowledge that, at the end of the day, those children rely on their MOTHER to make sure they are taken care of. If a man’s ego is getting bruised when his girlfriend points out reality, then what is going to happen when the kids are here, and the reality smacks him in the face. The reality that he cannot support his family will result in him running away. If he isn’t leveling up now, then he most certainly won’t level up later. My mother and grandmother always told us girls that we better get exactly what we expect from a man upfront, because he certainly won’t give it to you later.
👌🏿💯
All of this! When I hear these guys wanting trad wife I'm like yall need to think about it all the way through including the standard of living when the kids get here up to they turn 18 & sometimes beyond that. Yeah sahm cut cost like daycare but you still need health insurance for the entire family, etc. which would eat a solo income paycheck.
Smart women
Yea and that's the problem .....they want Trad wives but refuse to live up to the expectations of a Trad husband like tf
girl what, do NOT get mad at yourself for wanting to comfort and convenience
Right? That made me lol Like, who are you kidding? We all want an easy life
Right? And she's already providing herself a good life, she isn't asking for some impractical fantasy life. He was way out of line for trying to get her out of her lane into his so she can be jobless with children.
I have a friend who had a baby and her husband told her not to go back to work but she showed him their budget (because of course she actually handles the bills) and how they literally can’t afford it. And he’s mad at her about it. You read that right. They’re mad at us that they can’t support a family.
Well, it's our fault they have one, so ... /s
The “most logical leaders” can’t face reality.
Do I laugh or scream? I can’t decide.
Ok, can we stop shaming people for wanting comfort? We're not even talking luxury here, just plain comfort? That is NOT shallow. OP1 also says she grew up in poverty, dismissing that and how important it is to her to be independant is just horrible.
Nevermind how selfish it is to bring children into a situation where they will have to go without.
The woman grew up in poverty so I am sure she knows how it feels to not have the things she wants and needs. No extracurricular activities, no sports. Not enough money for school clothes and supplies. Etc etc
She is aware of the negative impact that has on a child and doesn’t want that for her children. Good for her.
He knows 35k is not enough. He had no long term plans of being with her. He was jealous of her income and lifestyle. He wants her to invest in him and for her to build his career instead. Then he would seek another woman claiming he was self built. He would likely attempt to leave her in the worst situation possible hoping that she would not recover and do better than him. Very similar to frenemies.
The UK is too expensive to live on 35k with kids and a stay at home wife. She did the right thing and spoke her mind about what she wanted. Even a single person will struggle with that amount. I wonder what planet he is on!! Unity left long when many of the xys did🙄
She said, "You can't afford me bro".😂 And he got butt hurt.
@@d.m.k5599he can't even afford himself
Guys like that get off on the idea of taking a successful woman and turning her into their dependent little housewife. It's an ego thing.
Yup! They want to Set women up to knock them down a few pegs and humble women
So true
I swear you are so right because if he actually did want what he claims to want then he would volunteer to be the house husband than the other way around instead of struggle in poverty.
I continued to go to school while I was married, just because I knew I wanted to strive for a better life and career. Now that I’m divorced, I’m so happy that I did, because I get no child support.
🎉🎉🎉 congratulations and good job!!
So the 1st lady is "shallow" because she doesn't want to give up her comfortable lifestyle to struggle with him on the equivalent of 43k in US dollars? Why is he even trying to entertain a woman that earns far more than he does? He needs to find a woman in his income bracket who is willing to struggle with him. His ego is bruised because she burst his bubble. For the last story, BW have accepted that many BM aren't going to change & we're tired of carrying the community on our backs, so we've accepted it and moved on.
Again bc you're thinking of them as human when they are not. They are parasites. Do you think a parasite will find a good host andngonseeking another??? They would NOT. maybe now that explains why these men always try to change the women instead of finding women that already fit what they want. If women don't get this about about, this world is basically done. Parasites will behave like parasites. You're confused bc of their human look and the fact that it sounds crazy and no one's had an explanation of how it could'vhapoenes. But THAT is the behavior 💯. The only time they remotely resemble human in behavior is superficially, exactly what a wolf in sheep's clothing would be. And how does one tell a wolf that looks like sheep appart from all the other sheep??? It behaves DIFFERENTLY. It behaves like a PREDATOR. EVERY TIME.
You don't go by their look. Stop looking at their human visages and look at their behavior
they are providers all right, PENNY PROVIDERS.
Right😹😹😹😹🤡🤛🏾
#2 This guy sounded like he hit the jackpot. He found an experienced mother who was also non-custodial to take care of his children. It doesn't surprise me that his true colors are showing.
How much does everyone want to bet that she would absolutely be 100% responsible for his children the entire time they were at his house? He might even have went for custody on the strength of her taking care of them oh he needs to leave and treat him exactly the way he treated her
I love this community too! I am 46 and have been celibate and single for 6 years. I wish we would have had these types of talks 20 years ago. Better late than never. Ladies, choose yourself!
He's inviting her to live a life in poverty and calls her shallow, rude, and mean??!! He's lucky she didn't smack him across the face for insulting her. The strength of his ego is based upon her giving up her accomplishments and financial security in order for him to feel like a big man and she's not down with it. One of them is not too smart, and it ain't her!
They stay comparing us
But if compare them to the men of other communities it's a problem 🙄
They complain but never ever state how they are improving the lives of their families and communities to reach their desired goals. Just sit on their butts and talk crap into the internet waiting on a woman to do all the work.
EXACTLY. Ole dude failed to mention the financial dynamic of the Hispanic community. If you even try to compare them to men of other communities, they mention WS faster than you can blink. But, will say with that same quickness that BW don’t experience what they do (even tho we are both blck). Honestly it’s too late, and it’s completely on brand for them to try and uturn when it’s too late.
That part!!🤷🏿♀️
@@lovelylonerur not wrong Hun everything I have I worked hard for but also remember immigrants get free clothes, supplies, food, house/hotel voucher, allowance every 28 days, prepaid credit card every month and if they have a business back home extra 36k a month plus free bus/train card every month ,after school programs health insurance, dental and vision they already took 77mill to give to immigrants then they got 53mill more of taxes to give them but ppl who been paying taxes all their lives can't get anything cause they want to cut social security, union workers, cops, teachers etc salaries and raise the ages of social security they even shut down schools to house some of them because hotels are full and ppl with kids were protesting cause they have to homeschool the kids and cut them from after school care programs which they said they were cut from work because they have nowhere to put their kids cause they said immigrants are first priority so if I had a leg up on free everything I would be straight too oh yeah they go out during the day and knock on ppl doors demanding money they even beat the cops butt for trying to stop them and got out without bail I don't know how but they were free the same day
Exactly 💯🤡🤛🏾👹🤛🏾
I had a dude suggest I drop out of grad school and follow him around as a military wife. I already had my bachelors at the time, so I could have gotten a career type job if I wanted but the way he wanted me to cut off my dreams to follow him around was such a turn off.
They want a woman to give up everything for the grand prize of just being with them. one partner should never have to sacrifice everything for the other. I’ve dated men who were quick to want me to just relocate and move into their homes, etc when I have my own home and career. My daughter goes to school here, etc. they just assume you will give up everything. If you suggest they move in with you they wouldn’t even consider it. Lol
The first woman is correct, dude must be doing boy math😂😂😂. Second woman, I just wish these ladies would learn to stop moving in with these men and they aren't married just take care of your son he is your first priority.
Why is he thinking of a family living on that salary? The guy is the AH thinking his salary would ve safe for a family to live on. Men need to stay in poverty by themselves instead of making overty striken families.
It's because they want the "bragging rights" attached to "taming" strong independent women. They like the idea of making someone like that subservient to them. It's a power fantasy. They want control, to be in charge and catered to.
😂😂😂😂 £35k to support a family......is he on drugs. Once rent/ mortgage, council tax, tv licence, gas electricity, food, travel for work and miscellaneous. That's signing up for a basic life especially in London.
If she agreed to that she would be in an abusive relationship. He would be constantly moody as he would be broke the day after payday.
And when reality hits him, he would leave her and the kid and run.....
Oh, wait diapers and baby formula are expensive and they need more than one bag per week!?
Kindergarten and school uniforms, supplies like pencils, books and so on are so expensive!?
What kids grow fast and there are times you need new shoes and clothes every few weeks!?
Yeah, that's not what I thought I sign up too!
Exactly! This 🤡 is using boy math for sure🤦🏿♀️ No way in heck I'm downgrading my lifestyle to live on one person's salary of £35/40k. You must be mental😂😂
😹😹😹😹🤦🏾♀️
His mood and pocket will constantly be in the red 😂😂😂
Leave him. Your son is 11. He’s forever
That first guy needs therapy. He's mad at his situation and is mad at her for standing her ground and pointing out what he's already insecure about. He doesn't need a wife, he needs therapy and better goals.
The man is using the lady to watch his kids and he doesn’t want to have to help her with her son. Red flag! Run! Don’t quit your job. Work at night or from home during the day.
If a man wants to be a provider, then he better work for it. They need to stop expecting other people to pretend for their sake. Just like how many have come to terms with the fact that they may never be able to afford a luxury car or private jet, these men need to come to terms with the fact that they may never be able to afford a housewife. At least, not a quality one.
Best part of waking up is BurbNBougie in your cup! ☕️
Morning!
😹😹😹🧐😍🥰🍿☕
@@BurbNBougie morning queen!💛💯🙌🏽
From what I've seen, black women do nothing but stick together and support each other. To the point where black men are constantly accusing us of "co-signing each other's bullshit" so which one is it?
Because we're always lending each other money, or looking after each other's kids, taking trips together or renting places together so we can all save money. So many times during my childhood there were female friends or family staying with us so they could escape an abuser or a cheater.
Maybe black men are the ones who don't support each other.
Jealousy, so they definitely trying to make you feel guilty guilty guilty so you put up their crumbs!
I’m just glad to see BW helping and supporting each other! All Women should always support each other.
They want the same outcome without doing the work
oh but they do!!!! they say on the "we wont take accountability for our sexual irresponsibility, thats 1....2 victim blaming, 3 condoing cheating/infidelity/gaslighting....lol oh they support each other alright
Black men don't support each other. They "unalive" each other.
You can't talk to a man that gets offended by every little thing. You start telling them what they aren't doing, you become the problem. There are so many things that add up when taking care of a house and raising children. They have no clue, they think they do, but they prove over and over again, they don't. *The first story, the woman hurt his feelings by being honest. Not rude or shallow. Intelligent and thoughtful. That's why it hurt his feelings, because he doesn't feel good enough. He should talk to a counselor or therapist.
I live with a guy who was trained to be a SAHM cooks (bad), cleans, everything yet he hates having to aid his kids when he lost his job he'll act ok or nice infront of them yet one day he was upset I heard him growl, "I'm a fucking stay at home dad! I hate this!" he's only being this SAH to gain mommy points from his ex who took him in they got in a fight once she told him calmly a fact on his behavior and he goes "you're always trying to control me!" then she pointed out he's living with her for free, she's buying his food, cooking his meals, all he has to do is raise his kids & clean the house a free deal all around yet she's "controlling" him. She's told him to live with his dad who kicked him out which is why he's with her! He shut up and sulked for days after!
And mind you. He was butt hurt for days. Yikes
£35K a year is not enough for a single person with a mortgage, bills, car expenses let alone support a wife AND children! The man is delusional or just stupid and women should not mess with either.
I earn good money in the UK, however I would be below broke if I lived on my own and started a family. That to me is irresponsible and inpractical.
2nd story: if OP starts work so early, that means her partner must be the one getting his children up and to school in the morning. Sounds like he’s just not prepared to put in the same effort for her son.
Same thing I thought too. Like why is it a problem for her son but not when you already have 2 children?
The son is 11. He will take care of himself. All he has to do is to take him to school.
@@manifest2203 11 year old cant "take care of themselves" so im not sure if youre implying he knows how to adequately care for himself in all aspects or just has a reasonable amount of logical reasoning but....its an 11 year child. Perhaps lets pump the brakes before we saddle children that we bring into this world with the responsibility to fend for themselves. Last I checked 11 year olds still need their parents to care for them unless theyre forced to endure on their own. Thats not ideal imo but you may not agree based on your sentiment.
Rule of thumb: Never be in a relationship that you have to ask a XY for money to buy a new dress!
l Agree 💯
anytime anyone says "stay home, relax, I'll support you" don't believe them they be lying your momma, your sister, your bf/gf, anybody they don't mean it after 1 month it'll show!
I learned that the hard way. It's been 25 years since I left and I still have to battle the flashbacks. I have to fight the inner voice that tries to say, "how could you have fallen for that??"
I am grateful for Burb n Bougie and other communities which are comforting me that I'm not alone. I am glad that the younger generations are learning not to fall for these cons.
"If I were a carpenter and you were a Lady. Would you marry me anyway? Would you have my baby?"
"Hell to the no, no, no. What are you nuts?"
I get what you’re saying, sis, but I just had to get an estimate for some custom carpentry work and I almost fainted at the amount. 👀
Carpenters are seriously out here making orthodontist level money
@@dianaprince3176 there are reliable good reputation carpenters and then there are those who only work when they feel like it and are somehow always somewhat broke, along with a bad reputation. so it depends on the carpenter really
SMH.. That's why he's like this. He wants to use money as a means of control. I'm definitely not living in poverty to feed a man's ego when I am fully able and willing to earn money for myself and my household.
We had our 2 grandsons for about 13 days earlier this month. Husband is a retired/disabled vet & Im in higher education. I crockpotted meals & when I got home, I took the kids. Played with, feed, and put them bed. Hubby went upstairs around 7 and by 745, I could hear him 💤 After they left, he was in the bed two days. It physically & emotionally drained him. SAHM don’t usually get the reprieve I gave my husband & he was still exhausted. It’s not always a flex & sometimes it will make you a married/single mother.
Cosplaying provider 😂😂 I swear to god. Like just stop trying to assert your dominance over me lol
35k is by no means a flex to cosplay hegemonic patriarch. That’s not even patriarch on a budget. This man would be delusional to most men… in the mainstream culture.
I'm glad she's putting her kid first instead of a man sometimes it doesn't work out but ur kids are forever
Bingo 🎯
The first dude is wild! She dodged a bullet because the first man is delusional. 35 in the UK can't support a family. He can barely support himself.
Whenever someone tells me they want to be a “provider” i immediately think that they view women as dogs. Things to be thrown crumbs at.
#1 men understand that being a housewife is neither easy nor luxurious. If it was that simple, they would be doing it themselves. If housework was easy you would not have thousands of reddits talking about how their husbands throw tantrums when they go on vacation and allow their children to destroy the house, or refusing to clean up after them when they were sick.
They will consistently insist that being a housewife is easy and some even go as far as to sabotage your career because they want to retain their exclusive use of you. I can't imagine trying to support an entire family unless than 50,000 a year (depending on what part of the country you live in. Two cars, two children, a house that's not going to be comfortable unless you live somewhere where the cost of living is dramatically lower than average. I also think that demanding a stay-at-home wife right off the bat with someone who's worked their whole life is a red flag. I see a lot of these allegedly traditional men fantasizing about having complete control over their woman and using reproductive coercion to get it. I would run for the hills before he starts sabotaging birth control. These types stop at nothing to get what they feel entitled to. They do not care about your health safety or well-being.
“Reproductive coercion” is the perfect term for this! These clowns are out here baby-trapping women! Thirty years ago, I had someone try that with me. Dodged a bullet with that one. He was trying everything he could to sabotage birth control so I would be stuck with him. When I figured it out and left, 15 years later (no exaggeration), he was tracking me down on the other side of the country, calling my job trying to find me. These XYz continue to fail and flail for years rather than getting their lives together.
Edited to add: He made considerably less money than I did, and wanted me to keep working “once we have children” & HE would be the SAHD.
First one: She did the right thing. This man is living a pipe dream that he knows he can never accomplish. The fact he is mad she doesn't want to suffer under him is extremely telling. I do love how she worded it.~❤
Second one: She is doing what is right for her child. If her partner has reservations about having her child in the house too, then that is a red flag. Sounds almost like he wanted her arrangements to stay the same so she can raise his kids and not her own. It's very weird. What does her partner think her son will do?
Third one: Women, black women especially, are tired of giving so much and recieving nothing. Building up a male has proved not to give you anything but headache and heart ache. So, women are done. Women will build our own together and hopefully, get more out of life than our mothers and grandmothers did. I want their fight for MY rights to MEAN something!!!
The first lady is definitely not the a Ho.She is extremely responsible❤
My boss had a sign on her door “Welcome to the world of sunshine and rainbows. Wishes granted.” It was, of course, a joke, as she reviewed possible research projects with an unflinching eye, often giving people bad news. This guy is living in rainbow land.
Rainbows are beautiful so he lives in the Syria desert just dust,sand storms everywhere he goes cause it's going to be drought in his wallet,house and her pumpum if he doesn't get a better income
He's skipping through the enchanted kingdom. Traalala. You're looking great btw.
Right😹😹😹🤡🤛🏾
In many places in the US, even $75-100k isn't enough for a family or single person to live off of due to housing costs, so it isn't enough in the UK. Most XYs thrive in struggle, destruction, and chaos, which is why that fool thinks his low salary is adequate for a partner and family. Children are expensive and parents should want to provide more than the bare minimum for them. This woman wasn't wrong for expressing that he didn't make enough money for a stay at home wife and children. She was being logical while he got emotional at her response. With #2 her and her son are a package deal. She is not wrong for breaking up with fool. He wants a live-in nanny and maid for his children, but phuck her son! I am glad she is prioritizing her child because his safety and well-being is important. No comment on Ashquan Glocktavius and his narrow world view.🙄😒
Lol im new years maybe 1 kid and renting..
Definitely no dusty spending money and not working and frivolous spending
I can understand why he was upset - it hurt his ego but honestly it had to be said. She either had to tell him her requirements or just ghost him. She can't continue to waste both of their times
She's not the A hole. I appreciate people who help others come up with possible solutions to their problems, instead of only criticizing them. I appreciate Burb N Boujie for discouraging unnecessarily mean spirited comments.
Him wanting to live in a single income home with that salary is crazy. Mediocrity romanticized is a problem.
Did I mention that I work in property management. Having 10 people in a 3 bedroom apartment is not a flex. The law in the state that I live in says 2 heart beats per bedroom. 10 people in a 3 bedroom is a safety, health and fire violation.
Two "famous" xy youtubers recently posted a video in which a young woman said a man that makes $50k should not date because $50k is not enough money to maintain a wife and a household. In the area that I live in, she is %1000 correct. As you imagine, the hemotionals were boo- hooing, calling her a gold digger and saying women should lower their standards.
Ashtavious needs to just get his life together before trying to bring anyone else in it to struggle,i can do bad all by myself
l Agree 💯
Like 10 people in a house and soon they all have $100,000….like what he talking bout 😂
When I move to Germany i was making a little over 75k and it's just me and it wasn't enough so I know for a fact 35k won't work with how much inflammation is now he wants everyone to suffer cause he is
Lol she chose well. Living off £35K for a whole family is crazy. Cost of living is not easy in the Uk.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾💪🏾💯🥰
I live in Oxford UK. You need to be earning at least £60,000- £70,000 per year (at least) to live a decent stand and maintain a stay at home wife excluding children. £30,000-£35,000 is a starting middle class, single person pay. So yeah this man is not accounting for his lady's clothes, haircuts, shoes, food and oh....the cost of living crisis we are having right now..... LOL.
And when reality hits him, he would leave her and the kid and run.....
Oh, wait diapers and baby formula are expensive and they need more than one bag per week!?
Kindergarten and school uniforms, supplies like pencils, books and so on are so expensive!?
What kids grow fast and there are times you need new shoes and clothes every few weeks!?
Yeah, that's not what I thought I sign up too!
The first story and second story have a clear theme. When it comes to their resources they are very practical and have to “think about it”. But when it comes to your resources and you losing money and making use of your time, it’s all good and if you point something out, then you are rude. The first dude wanted the lady to be a sahm and give up her job/ resources. The Second dude had to “think about” taking in his live in partners son who is suffering from abuze.
The first woman is not wrong about her feelings or standards. She may have said it in a rude or hurtful way (we weren't there), but even if she did she did do them both a favor by letting him know what she wanted and who she is.
When I first met my husband, he was only making $100k+. I said I wouldn’t marry him and be a sahw if he didn’t make $200k. He started a business and now makes way more than I asked for. The guy in the video is out of his mind. If my husband lost his money, I’d leave. No amount of LoVe is going to make me stay with a broke man.
See how quick a man will snatch up your resources but show so much practicality when it comes to there time and resources?
I wish I would spend money on A supposedly protector and providers children.🥴Tuh
This reminds me of a story another content provider told about a man who wanted the same thing. He got the housewife, the kid and couldn't make it.
He went back to his wife with his newborn and asked her to go back to work. She understandably resisted. Planning to return to work after you just had a baby is a WHOLE nother set of plans that couldn't just happen because he realized it wasn't going to work.
It has been LITERAL decades since this single income plan has worked for anyone but the wealthy. Any working class man in my lifetime had at least two jobs if his wife stayed at home. These men are childish, give them as little of your energy as possible.
Prince charming is not coming, girl. Go get your education or degree or license or certification. Make that money buy your house go on vacation 🎉hallelujah😊🎉
Story 1: You need at least £60K to live in London
And that's to live a very modest life. As soon as you have to use public transport, you can kiss the bulk of your income goodbye.
Why would she feel bad about that? If you're in that class bracket you're in that class bracket, why should I downgrade my class bracket to make you feel better? That's just sounds dumb. That's like saying if a guy is used to driv in I'm ozzaradi now. Because he, you know, because woman said that you know she won't 5 kids. He should give up his mazarati to drive A station wagon , they would never they wouldn't never so why should I that sounds dumb
I love Mustangs. I had an ex bf years ago tell me that I would have to sell my Mustang (and he’d give me his broken down 2001 Ford Explorer) … because after he would get me pregnant that I wouldn’t be able to take a baby around in a Mustang. 👏😆 listen fool … Mustangs over vatos any day!
@@BuffaloJenny79 😂 what a jerk!
I had a few exes telling me about their stupid fantasies about MY future life and I was always the "yeah, I don't think so...boy bye!" type 😅
No regrets on my side until today!
Today I earn more than most men in my country without having a lot of stress at work, I travel to different countries for work at least 4 times a year, I enjoy my peaceful life with my pets and plants, meet up with family and friends regularly!
100% better than being a married single mom with a full time job.....
@@jesmey4902I love this for you. Don’t let any male take this away from you
S2: mom would be the AH (to herself and the kid) if she left her son in an abusive situation with the bio dad like that. I have seen that play out in real life when new stepdads force the mother to leave the own kids behind. Scars the kids for Life and is more often than not a sign they are going to be manipulative, abusive partners pulling all kinds of stunts on the new woman by their side :/
If someone openly shuns your children as your alleged new life partner, run!
There are some people in my life that think that when somebody makes 30 or 40 K a year should be able to afford a living, truthfully, that really depends on where you live, and what you have access to. The most golden situation is to have a higher than average salary in a lower living cost area, I don’t recommend a break even just because everything could happen to upset that balance. Anything anyone can do to build the savings but that is also even the context of per person. Let’s say I make $1000 on my paycheck and I get paid twice a month. What doesn’t help is I have to pay for rent which is $1500. With gas, car payments, and groceries, I could barely make it out without much of a savings, and that from the viewpoint of a single guy, I’m sure it would be even more pricey for anybody else. And now I’m somebody thinking that “ sure this is a great idea for a single income household.” /s
That is insane, a very uneconomical. Depending on the area, one would have to have at least three to four person income to have a single income household to afford housing and accessibility to resources.
You know, I didn't like when my mom would burst my DreamBubble with the Needle of Reality. I'd do the first guy like my mom would do me; Show Me the Math!
It's truly amazing how high my mother's IQ soared, after I moved out on my own
💯💯
35k in todays economy in the UK doesn’t cut it. I made slightly less then that 20 years ago as a single lass in London and I was struggling.
The guy is delusional.
When you say "this made me chuckle," I know it's gonna be good😅
Yupl😹😹😹😹😍🍿☕
We live in a world where women have the ability to survive on their own. Relationships have become a luxury not a necessity. Whining won’t change this fact. Men need to prove to women that they’re worth being in a relationship or they will be alone.
$35k per year for a family is delusional. They would be struggling. They want women to stop operating on emotions and be logical, until it’s time for women to be logical; then they get their egos hurt.
I find that women are usually logical. Men, not so much.
Has anyone ever noticed a lot of these men don't step up to get better careers?
Does that make sense?
In my opinion, a mature man would consider what she had to say, then step up to get a better paying career.
But, what I see is the unwillingness to change, to become better.
Then, take out their lack and anger out on the woman for being honest.
Yikes.
The man in the first story wants to be "the man" so bad. So he wants force a bad situation (living in poverty) so he can swoop in and be the hero.
35k(pounds) is crazy
Insane😮
First poster- Good job.
Second poster - walk away from the dust and take care of you and your son.
i feel her....this is what i be thinking when it comes to marriage...i am not willing to give up the things i am able to do for myself just to be married...nope im good!!!! i like having my own money and my own time to do what i want when i want
Men always call themselves the “logical” ones and say that they are supposed to “lead” women, but the minute a woman they’re involved with tries to explain how what the man wants just isn’t financially feasible, there’s a problem. They’re all about “accountability” & “responsibility” when speaking about women and their lack thereof, but when a woman wants to be responsible and plan for the future and her offspring’s needs, the men don’t want to talk about it. Suddenly the woman is a gold-digger, or she is “in her masculine” (gawd I hate that nonsense phrase) & won’t “let the man guide her”. Yeah, as we see in this first story, he wants to guide her alright…straight into a cage of poverty and struggling.
If you’re old enough, you remember “comedy” TV shows where the SAHM blew all of the poor widdle hard working man’s money (“Married With Children” comes to mind) on frivolous things. The man would often question why the woman needed money, and she’d have to sweet-talk and cajole the man to get it. I’ll be damned if I’m going to BEG someone for grocery money to feed myself, just because they don’t understand prices, inflation, and balanced meals. A lot of these dudes think: “I live just fine by myself on $43,000/yr! She’s just got to BUDGET and not waste MY money, and then I could support a whole family on that just like my granddaddy did! Women just don’t want to be traditional anymore; they’re lazy and don’t want to cook a good inexpensive meal from scratch like my grandma did!”
Sure, let’s just pretend that the cost of living hasn’t greatly outpaced incomes. These dudes are trying to live in some retro fantasy world where you had a job your entire life, and that job came with a pension, great medical coverage, and generous paid time off. Now? You’ve got to take at least 8% of that measly little salary and invest it yourself to cover your retirement, and if you guess wrong or the market crashes at the wrong time, well…too bad.
I sincerely hope successful women en masse start leaving these men right where they’re at. Let Pickmeesha and Barb the Builder have ‘em.
Going to be a rough road for a lot of people in their later years, as the last generations to have had any kind of retirement cushion on a large scale are leaving right now. That’s why these folks in power want younger people to keep cranking out kids, and for women to settle down with some struggle bae: They need obedient workers for the future to keep paying into the system and keep it afloat. Phuck that noise. Don’t let these dudes trap you into a life of misery. Better have your own money.
It’s a good thing OP stood her ground and is honest about what she wants. The cost of living is so damn high that it’s NOT enough to support a family let alone a single person!!!! The OP and her date are definitely not compatible and they are better off seeing other people. Even if you did have a family you can’t always depend on others to support you.
I love these 3 things story times. Please keep posting these
l do too🧐😍🍿☕
Lmao they are glitching!!! Too true 😂
Yikes, is he really that obtuse?? £35k is likely more like £27k when you factor in taxes.
1) WTF is he mad about? She just saved both of them a lot of time by being honest. Also, the audacity of these dudes. 🙄🙄
2) I can see how he might be surprised by this news but as a parent he should understand that the child's safety comes first. If he can't pivot out of love and concern for her and her situation, then she should at minimum put their relationship on pause, not move in with him, and get her situation straightened out. Of course, there's also the possibility that he figured she'd mother HIS kids only. Again...the audacity...
3) I am SO tired of black folks acting like every other group moves in lockstep with each other and they do it better than us. I grew up around all kinds of folks and EVERY group has functional and dysfunctional people in it. Even when segregation was in place -- hell, even when SLAVERY was in place -- you never had everybody agreeing with each other 100%. That's called being human. We are no more or no less human than any other group of people.
The second story Im more surprised she assumed that the child would just live with them? Thats bringing a whole new man around your son. Its safer to get a separate place if anything, living with him shouldnt have been an option imo. It is odd though because he also had two kids...is his career compromised with his current children? Or is it just a problem brining in her child?
Men went their own way, so now it’s time for women to go our own way.
They did a horrible job of going their own way 😂😂
so they ignore the only reason they stay in groups in one apartment?
Under 40K a month is a joke unless you live off the land, fully own your property as in no mortgage/rent, no car notes, no debt, are ok with only thrifting, never going shopping, things like lipstick being a luxury, then adding kids in the mix will only multiply the poverty. I live in one of the lowest cost of living areas and was a SAHM with my husband bringing in over 100K, we were comfortable but money was still tight, now that I also work we can afford and save up significantly more, things like kids college funds, retirement savings, house repairs, vacations are now attainable when they weren’t before. If we lived anywhere else we would be struggling. I’m pretty sure cost of living in the UK is about the same so I don’t know what delulu land that man lives in, she definitely dodged a bullet, either a life of extreme poverty or resentment for her working if she stayed.
There’s absolutely no way I would be giving up my job for someone not making atleast triple what I make. These men are delusional.
Someone needs to tell the first man that SAHM don't have one minute to relax
My sister both are SAHM at the moment and they haven't even one minute to relax or go to toilet because they need to keep cleaning or the children are cling to them like crazy meanwhile their husbands come from work and sleep eat go take a shower or just relax because they don't have any bond with their kids
Even worse is that my sisters have to clean after their husbands they leave their dirty clothes on the floor or for example after eating roasted chicken they leave their bones at the sink for my sisters to throw them away
Last week, my brother-in-law accidentally dropped my sister's razor and saw it but didn't even bother to pick it up