I'm so sick of men acting like they need help, yet no men ever step up to help these boys. Everyone always expects a woman to fix things enough is enough
Exactly! And what are these "special programs for women"? In my entire life, college, career I have never been offered help because of my gender. They are so delusional 😂
For the prenup story, he’s punishing his current spouse for HIS past. For the resentful guy, help your woman out! Do chores, get a nanny or maid, then maybe she could become human again! I’m disgusted with him. He’s blaming her for HIS decision.
Word to the wise: if you EVER have to abandon a pet (or even two) or perfect working situation to be with a man, you're in danger. Your pets are the only unconditional love youll ever get. Don't abandon that for a man, especially when they're seniors and you've been the center of their world for their whole lives. Any man who'd accept you having to do that isn't worth having.
I agree with this. I don’t have any pets (the cats I had died years ago), but if I did, I’d NEVER give up my pet. If the guy is allergic, he can see an allergist.
What he wants is literal marital r. in a contract form, it is not only a red flag, it is literally r. I bet the first wife could not run fast enough from him and he is just exaggerating some dead bedroom to pressure her with some "trauma".
I didn’t move for a man but I relocated to a new state, got pregnant and for sure got trapped- took me 4 years to get out physically, financially, and mentally unscathed ‼️ DONT DO IT- JUST DONT
My story is similar. I met my first boyfriend of 57 when I just turned 18 and was in foster care. He went through my financial aid check, convinced me to sign myself out of the agency and move to a whole new state with him. Took my virginity, wanted to get me pregnant (thankfully, I couldn't because of health issues), and he guilted me for wanting to leave him and gain financial independence. He moved me out of the city to the sticks where I had to depend on him even for a run to the store because he drove and I didn't. I was a city girl used to public transportation. In order to distract me/dissuade me from getting a job like I wanted to make my own money, he told me to just focus on school to make it seem like he was about empowering me. Although I have fond memories, I also still feel betrayed as a grown woman now looking back. We were together for 4 years. I Mean, I was a KID in the system grieving the loss of my family, and friends from high school staring out my freshman year I college.
I’m glad you were able to survive, the experience! I almost moved once. It was going to be in an entirely different city, about 2 hours away from the guy. I knew full well, I didn’t want to be in the same city, just in case. Fortunately, it wasn’t a serious endeavor for me. I just did a little research on the matter. Thankfully, my purpose was more important.
Or how usa erased war, famine, trrrorism, slvery etc.... Dont exist Also men are lazy thats why rhere are more women in uni than men Cuz they want a free degree and women actually work for it Men wanna be crypto scammers and fail high school cuz they harras women instead study Today my mother told me about a friends son who at age 17 decided to harras women, not study and be out till 3am Or to touch himself for fun in class and other men in class too So yea Men sre lazy thats why they fail school Women are more organised and have discipline and are humble
He sees her as hes companion only npc Not a person And hes mad hes npc isnt a maniac pixie dream girl Tbh i believe regardless hes be mad and "bored of her" Cuz men are never gratefull or happy
I just wanted to type the same! She gave her life to him to take care of him and birth his children (which he is "helping" taking care of 🙄), now she's not entertaining enough anymore and he just wants a shiny new toy instead of maybe treating her like a person and asking her if she's happy or if her needs are fulfilled.
The girl who moved across the country is my story to the tee, down to her age. I moved from DC to Seattle and the guy I was with did the same thing except he paid all the bills. The way he treated me over the year we were dating and when I moved in are like night and day. I barely lasted 90 days with him. Little did he know I saved 10k during the pandemic and inherited some money so I was able to move back into my house that my family was living in and found a job/ bought a new car in less than 2 weeks. Always have a backup plan ladies! P.S. If you are a nurse or working towards it, please be vigilant about male gold diggers. They have a lot of calculated tactics.
Thanks for the PS because that’s true. There are male gold diggers out there, and their target is nurses (BSNs or nurse practitioners, not CNAs) because they have the money and most nurses have the instinct to “help and take care of” people.
@@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Livinganother group is those who used to get disability and retail, warehouse workers. Retail workers have erratic schedules so it used to be easy to play ppl for their purses when they not home
#4 It's almost like once the deck wasn't stacked in their favor they immediately started to flounder. It's almost as though they weren't the superior gender to begin with and they had artificially skewed the competition to ensure their continued success as a gender. Who could have seen this coming? Probably them, which is why equality took so long to get to this point
There’s some research I did that could explain this; before 1400c Europe women had businesses and their own autonomy until Heinrich Kramer started basically a smear campaign against one woman which ultimately became a gender gen*cide by creating the book the Hammer of Witches where he claimed woman were the devils conspirators. The church at first dismissed him but eventually came with a doctrine that women should be bare feet and belly full, men started claiming women as witches to take their businesses and mass hysteria started as a result. I think any women would silent marry a man if it meant keeping her life, and mothers would instill the need that their daughter’s should marry and a whole bunch of issues that we currently have….
#1 I noticed when I was dating that a lot of men wanted me to "pour my heart out to them" telling them all my trauma. They pretended to be sympathetic. However, it became obvious to me relatively quickly that they were looking for ways to get an inside track to manipulating me. So when they would ask me what I was looking for I would deliberately keep it vague. I realized that they can only tell you what you want to hear, if they know what you want. So if you don't give them any information they're more likely to be themselves and show their red flags.
For the husband who says he’s married to a robot…she hates him too..and she’s closed in and is over him. That’s why she doesn’t interact. She had just as much resentment as he does.
I agree. I noticed he could not describe what she liked. Sounds to me like he is selfish where everything centers around him. She probably just wants him to shut up.
I moved for my first husband. Quickly got baby trapped. He would leave on Friday and I wouldn’t see him until Monday. And of course we only had one car. I moved back home to get away from him. But he came too. He ruined everything we did. Crashed every car we had. He was 8 years older and I was his second wife. When I finally left him, he cut my brake line and didn’t care if our daughter was in the car when my brakes went out. That was 35 years ago. My daughter hasn’t seen him since she was 14 years old. She will be 40 this year. NEVER move or relocate for a man, they ALWAYS change. If you do, have a backup plan. My daughter and I have had a wonderful life. Him, not so much.
@@rebekkagasmi9451 I did not. I would have to prove it. I was lucky. My brakes went out as I was backing out of the driveway and I rolled into my neighbors driveway. My brother fixed my brakes. And life went on. He got his comeuppance. They usually do.
So he decided he didn't want a woman to bark like a dog and hop on one leg for him. Now he wants to throw her away. We knew this. That's why if the wife is the perfect stepford wife they want, the mistress is always fun and interesting. The mistress is always everything they say they don't want. Men like this should not marry. They should make business arrangements for someone to have their kids and hire a maid and chef. With those things taken care of, he can spend time with his "true love" without having to cheat.
And the ones who marry the wild, greedy chick(I’m not using that in a derogatory way either) will leave her too while calling her a “slore”.They always want the opposite of what they have!
Speaking of men studying us, did you hear about the reddit story where this college guy basically made a lexicon/Pokédex (fictional encyclopedia from the Pokémon franchise) of all the girls in his class. Used it for "dating"/ getting to know girls and having conversations with them. Later shared it with male classmates, who shared amongst dozens of other guys to date the girls. They used it to get close to the girls fast, and basically pump and dump them. One girl found out (or maybe he told her?) and told the other girls, and now, surprise, surprise, _none_ of the girls have any interest in _any_ dude in their class. The OP was literally asking if he was an A-hole. They do not see us as people at all. If you want to read it yourself, I can try to find the story, though it's been a while since I heard it. But yeah, at this point, for a good majority, my fist will speak better than words. Edit: The title of the post is "AITAH for making a real life pokédex of girls at my university?" Just re-read some things, and it turns out this dude is a frat bro (shocker, there), and around 40 guys were involved before being found out. He _insists_ it wasn't a guide for hooking up with women, just "impressing" them. Y'know, these guys have no comprehension of grape because, I'm sure if you told them they were grapists for engaging in this, they would disagree.
@@kellycowley3535 he was voted an A-hole. The title of the post is "AITAH for making a real life pokédex of girls at my university?" Just re-read some things, and it turns out this dude is a frat bro (shocker, there), and around 40 guys were involved before being found out. He _insists_ it wasn't a guide for hooking up with women, just "impressing" them. Y'know, these guys have no comprehension of grape because, I'm sure if you told them they were grapists for engaging in this, they would disagree.
@@naediggs4816 I'm just glad he got roasted in the comments. He can't justify or excuse it when bunch of redditors are spelling out exactly how he messed up, how badly he messed up and how his actions effected others. (Well that's what redditors usually do on aita, they don't mess around or beat around the bush when they think someone is the asshole.)
I'm so glad that women are able to tell their stories to the world with a click of a button. I am glad that women all over the world can read these stories and will be able to see the red flags a head of time before they become trapped, abused or unalived.
Most of the programs are gender neural and targeted toward first generation college students and lower income students are the focus of most higher education. The issue is that alot of men don't sign -up in equal number as young women. Young men aren't socialized to think that education is important.
We don´t have special programs for female students at my university, just for every students. What exactly is this guy talking about? What kind of programs are these? I would like to know so I can take all these special female programs, thanks.
@@insideAdirtyMindHe knows there aren’t any, that’s a lie they spread that it’s difficult to refute. He sounds like a MAGA, talking about “all of the help the government gives to those people”.
@@insideAdirtyMindother than bw in stem and bw in tech scholarship/grants idk what other ones but they did it because more and more bw have been showing how valuing education is important
Call your old boss and see if you can get your job back. Then ask family and friends for help to get back home and stay with them until you can get your own place again. Don't tell him you're leaving and just pack up and take that flight back when hes at work. Block him and completely fall off his earth once you hit that airport, Don't even leave a note. You'll be OK 👍🏿
Never give a cheater a second plan or move for a man. If you decide to move for somebody you should always have an Exit plan and emergency funds. Unfortunately we can't vet but we can prepare.
Seriously doubt the XY that wrote the last post is a psychologist. He probably works in the mailroom of a university. That’s what he means by “in academic circles”.
I couldn't even understand the mush mouth word salad. You'd think an academic psychologist would have a level of critical thinking and be above publishing this self-absorbed nonsensical rant
15:16 this is madness. I dated someone for awhile who would start fights like this, it was wild. It’s also sooo annoying that men center s-x in relationships when there’s no guarantee they can perform at 100% even in their prime.
tbh I don't think he is a qualified psychiatrist unless he got his degree from Reddit university 🤪 He just doesn't speak like one with facts and figures. Where are the studies, where is the work that he is doing? Notice how he does not talk about issues that he has dealt with his male or female clients in his job. I personally am not a fan of Richard Reeves but at least he proposes "solutions" as he studies in this field.
If that person is even a psychiatrist, they clearly don't know that a number of colleges started football teams and programs to attract male students. Attract them to the school itself not to the team. If this seems sort of strange to you consider that in many states the highest paid government employee is an athletics director at a public university and college. And yes, those programs do attract donor money. But male specific programming just to get dudes interested in going to a school have existed for a long time. In fact, they are the default.
Ladies. By the time we get to the suggestion of them needing to work on themselves know that the relationship is already done. End it. People don’t change unless the conditions around them change. Can’t do it if you are still living together. We need to get through this mindset
Housework and taking care of everything and everyone takes so much mental and physical energy that you just want to shut off after a day of that. In a few years she'll hate him because he is just another child to take care of.
I'm starting to believe that the more you find the guy attractive the more likely he's going to be evil,, but it's not good to settle for an ugly guy just because you don't want to be single , it's a lose-lose situation it seems
“Settle” for an ugly guy? If he’s good, kind, intelligent, funny, adores you,can even support you if necessary and you even love his family? Would that be settling? I find all of those things very attractive. I had a crush for the longest time on my short, homely, glasses wearing accountant. He had a high-ish voice and a lisp, but that man was so smart, well read and always had me laughing. Too bad he was married or I’d have made my move you bet! And he treated his wife like a Queen and obviously adored her and their life together. She was one lucky woman.
The worst experiences I have ever had with XYs have been ugly or below average in looks and they presented as "nice". The myth that they are nicer is just that, a myth!
And a guarantee that he will be able to perform in his 80. If not she gets 80 % If we will be objectified and be good only for sex it has to be both ways.
The switch flip up upon moving in with a guy is so common. I saw my father do this. It happened to me. I saw it happen to so many friends and acquaintances. The only thing I have found is to take things EXTREMELY SLOW. These people aren't patient (mostly) and will move on to an easier target. Also... I'd advise to NEVER move for a dude. This poor woman sounds lost. I hope she can get out of her fog and that house.
I moved in with ex…it barely lasted 2 years before I told him I wanted to end things and that it was me not him..I moved out shortly after😂 I have NEVER lived with a man since and it’s been over 10+ years and I will NEVER live with a man again.
Dated a guy in highschool/college who became a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists are nutso cuckoo, to use the technical terms. Psychologists are a better bet if you are seeking real help. Every psychiatrist I have ever encountered has been certifiable. I think that's why they became psychiatrists, to keep themselves out of mental institutions.
Cant speak for other colleges, but at mine it was much easier for men to be accepted because there were less applicants whereas women had far more competition. Less men are applying to college in general, but that seems to be left out Edit: to add, nearly all the women on my campus needed to have a 4.0 to get in, but there were multiple guys who had a GPA less than that or even at 3.0
@@KlaudiaShaefferr I agree then they get angry when they don’t do well in school since if they invented the school system why do they see it as beneath them to do well where did it find from
The 'resented housewife' is not necessarily a personality issue. There is something else going on that he is probably clueless to. It could be medical/depression. It could be she just needs to REST from doing ALL THE WORK. Get a nanny and a maid and then see what personality she has!
Stop talking so much ladies. That's not an attack on anyone. That's something I've had to learn. It's easy for people who want to use us to do so when we give them the cheat code. If you are going to move, you always need to have a contingency plan. Either in the new place or in the old place. Never be dependent on a man. I'm celibate and have been for a long time and will be until. But my libido is through the rough. I still wouldn't sign this. I've heard about women not being able to have sex for years during menopause. What if they have kids and she's on pelvic rest during her entire pregnancy. What if after birth sex is too painful. There are just too many whatifs to ever sign something like that. It's apparently also illegal. But, no. No to signing it and no to this whole relationship
@@fburnsDubstepEnderFoxYES. There’s a reason why the people in power try to keep the rest of us uneducated. I saw a comment once that blew my mind, “They will never educate us enough to take away their power.”
4. Men won't allow equality. Don't we remember Tokyo Medical University's scandal in 2018? They lowered female students entrance score to favour male students. This is how men help men.
What the actual fxc!! The prenup is wild. He sounds like a teen forced to live in the adult world so he created this fantasy world. Just wild!!! Marriage isn't all you can eat buffet for sex. JeZzus!!
The last one made me scoff. In my country there are programmes that encourage women to go into STEM. But we also have programmes that encourage boys to go into care, primary education and teaching. We want people following their talents and passions. My husband works in electricity engineering and they have a girls day, where girls from middle schools are invited specifically. But they also have a kids day, where whole classes are invited, boys and girls and the kids of the employees. They do interactive stuff and get to ask questions and things. Yes, some jobs have more of one gender than the other. But it's not like men are barred from any job. And we all know they often get promoted to managerial positions faster, resulting in the odd phenomenon of having a team of all women and one male boss.
#2 This sounds like someone who plans on being a two-pump chump. The fact that he doesn't want enthusiastic consent should have been enough of a red flag to run. The mentality of someone to be comfortable demanding this is unreal. *Edit* After listening to the dynamics of the relationship in her previous post I am flat out disturbed by this man as a person. He does not like your independence he just like the load being taken off of him. He will cheat on you with this massive women that he feels entitled to while using you for your resources that's assuming he doesn't plan on doing worse. Given that you are a childbearing age should also consider some sort of BC that cannot be tampered with because anyone who's comfortable with this level of coercion this early in is not going to stop at just verbal abuse and manipulation this will escalate as he gets more comfortable. There is absolutely some sadism and a sadistic mindset showing itself in their relationship already this never ends well. I would see if there was a way to contact the ex-wife because he's definitely lying about that as well. She's going to need confirmation to accept what she already knows to be true.
Omg RUN LIKE HELL!!!! I dated a man exactly like this. I started the relationship healthy and thick in all the right places at 82kg. When he was done with me I was 28kg and you could see the bones in my back. He was tall, dark and handsome physically and spiritually, the devil had nothing on him.
OP #1 - I went through the bait and switch as well. He didn't cheat, but that's pretty much the only abusive thing he didn't do. You can get out. It took me 2 years, but I did it. So can you! Sending love and courage.
If I was her, I would get a contract in nursing working for a hospital. Many agencies offer stipends for accommodations and she’ll get paid weekly that gives her the opportunity to pick up and go and just focus on getting her money up. If she’s able to leave everything to go to him, then she should be able to get up and leave everything for herself.
I've applied to and been accepted at at least 3 colleges and at none of these have I ever been part of a female quota or special incentive program. I had the grades, I had the money, I used them to get a degree. So did the men I was in school with. The thing Mr. Blahblahblah is overlooking is that high school boys aren't qualifying to get into colleges. They appear to be uninterested in college. That leaves a vacuum that is readily filled by women who do want an education. These numbers are the result of informed choices that each are making. No one has to go to college; but if you don't, you need to think about what you want to be doing instead. You can't just sit in the basement playing RPGs all day. Or if you do, keep your mouth off the women who do go after what they want. They're too busy to waste time on "women's fault" this, that, and something else.
I had an IUD become embedded 3 years ago, and ever since then, penetration is painful, so I can not have penetrative sex. Imagine if my spouse divorced me and I got screwed by a prenup because I medically cannot have sex for my health
The woman who moved: contact someone back home, tell them you're coming as soon as you have enough for a bus ticket. Don't tell anybody else. When you get bus fare, leave then. Worry about everything else when you get to someone safe who will help you. You can get your job back. Maybe you can even get your dogs back. But even if you don't have a place to land, still: move when you can pay for a bus ticket. Leave what you have to leave. You're alive. Stay that way.
There's a quote in business that says lose your heart, not your head. It applies to a lot. And for sex prenuptial, there should also be a clause for requirements of affection like what Priscilla Chan did with Zuck. Take me out for a date once a week, cuddle with me for 4 hours a week, couples therapy for 6 months before divorce, etc. and you'll get what you want in exchange.
Why do these woman constantly set themselves up. I don't understand. You know hes traumatized with behaviors you don't find appealing.. And you still date them. How can you even like them enough to sleep with. People have no respect for them selves. I think allot should have therapy as a just a checkup on habits formed in childhood befor they can even date or sleep with people. Because she could have kids with this fool.
Can she get in contact with her old job and see if they'll take her back? Nurses are in demand. Where's she from? I'll help with the plane ticket. Seriously.
Don’t move to live with them and don’t moved them into your place. I pray she can find someone to help her. But call the abuse hotline to see if they can help you. They do have resources for women in need.
The nurse needs to take every shift opportunity offered at her current employment. Direct deposits all moneys in accounts that he has zero access. Pay him zero attention and save 10-15 thousand. Then leave.
The first story: That lady needs to decide if she's going to stay or go! Telling us that she is fed up is one thing, but she needs to prove it to herself. He is mentally deranged and will keep her to be his mule as long as she's there. I hope that she doesn't have in her mind to "win him back", or "win him over". He infact is a lose-lose situation. She's a nurse; her options in the work world should be many. She's dragging her feet. She knows how she feels about how he treats her...move on sis, your wasting precious time. For the guy with the dunce for a wife...sir love her or leave her. As another commenter on Reddit asked, have you had a purposeful conversation with the wife, describing how you are feeling? People are not Styrofoam cups. We aren't put her to be used. There should be a purpose for each individual's life... The purpose for someone else's life isn't to boost yours in and of itself. He probably never treated her as a partner or he chose someone who is indoctrinated to be a servant.
For women who are living with cheaters and gas lighters, it's probably best to make all of your plans very quietly. You might even need to plan to move out when your significant other is out of the house. I know some people have done this by slowly packing and moving items out of the home and into friends homes with. If you are using friends places a storage, it's probably best to have a 2-week date range that you are planning to execute your exit. The more a disordered person knows about your plans, the more they can operate to keep you entangled and confused.
#3 It sounds to me like he chose this woman specifically because of desires that were put into him by friends/ family/ culture and even with the most charitable interpretation of his post he definitely sounds like someone who doesn't know who he is or what he actually wants. It just occurred to me as I listen to the comments that she might have been a different person when they got together. That he was successful in grinding her down and now wants a new challenge. And I'm reminded of the number of men who go out and try to find women to humble and mold rather than get the pic me who they swear is the only one that deserves relationships.
#4 is so infuriating. Why is it the responsibility of women to "help men" when men HAVE access to help and choose not to utilize it? Men are not held back from applying for anything! There is no "men can't do that" legislation or laws, unlike the system men set up and forced women into, where they couldn't get an education, work outisde the home (for rich white women, black, indigenous, POC and impoverished women always worked, but it had to be in service only), couldn't own a home or bank account and were traded from father to husband like property. Men actively did that TO women. Women are just doing their own things, taking advantage of opportunities they had previously been denied and are killing it. They aren't taking opportunity FROM men, they are competing WITH men for said opportunity, and men are losing. And instead of doing ANY work on themselves, instead of men mentoring other men and boys, instead of acknowledging the history as well as their present predicament, they whine that women won't give men what they want at our expense. His question basically is him whining that he feels entitled to the labor and resources of women and that he's mad they aren't just offering to suffer so men can thrive instead. That's his take. And he's genuinely confused about why women aren't helping.
Prenup lady broke up with him before, but now she’s engaged to him? He hasn’t changed, still sounds controlling. Get off Reddit & walk away already. 🚶🏿♀️🚶🏿♀️The 3rd story shows how even when you give men what they want, they’re never satisfied. Never mold yourself for a man ladies. For the last post, 🎻🎻🎻🎻🎻
Im going to be honest.. sometimes you can tell a woman in a relationship that that man aint no good, please dont get pregnant by him. Please dont let him move in. And please dont move in another country or state to be with him. She be so in love and blinded that she dont see the signs or red flags that are blazing off him. She will fight augrue and even go back and tell the boyfriend/husband everything you said. She will even call you jealous or bitter. Turn around he dog her out treat her all type of ways. Then she wants to call you crying about how he is treating her. Got to be careful with those types of females.
@StarryWaters-gq1oj I'm all too familiar, I have let go plenty of friends because of a man. I had one friend that so much older than me. She asked me if she should let her boyfriend move in with. her. I told her not to do it. She did it anyway. the next thing I knew, she did it and she called me, telling me what he doing and what he is saying to her...SMH, this one is a long one.
I'm laughing at the trauma for a dead bedroom. That's not real. What's real is the trauma these men induce to women for pressuring them into sex to keep the relationship going.
She needs to get to a woman doctor ASAP and get her blood checked. From her symptoms, she could be being poisoned. I know that stress and even dehydration can cause mental confusion, but this sounds beyond the normal symptoms. It could be very low doses, so it just makes her feel icky, but not enough to make her really sick. My ex poisoned me with low doses of antifreeze for about four years, so I know what I’m talking about. 😳🤢🤷♀️
love bomb, idealize, devalue, discard - the victim is now trauma bonded, she is describing narcissistic abuse. There needs to be no diagnosis, if a person wouldn't tolerate said behavior from you, get out.
One guy asked to relocate for him. He wanted me to leave my family and job for him. Meanwhile, he offered no security. He had no health insurance, no life insurance, preferred to do mediocre job. I asked him to show his finances so i could if he could take care of us..he couldn't. He was in his late 30s. I've seen how low men can go. I have zero sexual attraction towards a man who refuses to elevate himself.
12:51 this is disgusting and damn right criminal to even ask. Making a contract regarding sex is really coercion. If you don’t do this sex act… you don’t get this (potential harm or threat). This is beyond rapey. Diabolically sadistic imo
I moved 3 hours away to a town where I knew no one for a man. We were engaged 6mths after meeting and found out he didn’t have enough money to move in with me. WTF. I had given notice to my job several weeks before and notice to my roommates so I was like oh hell no fiancé find a way. He sold his beloved truck and we found a trailer on property to rent. Should have been a deal breaker but I was young and had grown up in an abusive home so this was all familiar. The whole relationship/marriage only lasted 5yrs (still way too long) and no kids. She’s right, we lived apart and only saw eachother on weekends. Mostly when I drove the distance to see him . Lord it’s hard not to be mad at myself sometimes. The next fellows I dated just were progressively worse so I chose the single life
There are plenty of people who truly do have a low libido, but sometimes it's your partner or you. There is no way to guarantee consistent sex throughout a long term relationship. Both parties will get sick, maybe seriously. Both parties could have mental issues or life events that stop sex (hopefully temporarily). And then sometimes people change. The person you met was likely on their best behavior. You may not like your partner after a few years, not as much, so there is no way to guarantee your sex drive will stay the same.
To the nookie prenup: I have a high libido still didn’t stop the dead bedroom in o ur last year out of 8 total. It’s. A natural sign that the relationship has changed and it’s time to leave. Dead bedrooms are a gift in my eyes, a natural outcome of an incompatible relationship. Lack of respect and safety kill my drive and it’s the same for many other people.
13:17 this man sounds like he lacks character and personality and he uses sex to fill voids. It almost sounds like he enjoys the challenge of trying to gain control her bc she's a powerful women.
She doesn't have to couch surf. Become a traveling Nurse, take an assignment as close to home as you can get. They pay for you to have somewhere to stay. You know what have to do. Get your mind back in the game and let that license work for you. Use the connections with the job you left, and if you left on good terms you know you can go back. 14:17
The lady from story #2 needs to RUN!! It doesn’t matter what his last partner did, you are not obligated to hand your body over to him under ANY circumstances. And I say this is as a woman that was nookie deprived in my marriage ( now divorced) this woman seems to have ignored every red flag as I did. She needs to get her some self respect and leave!
People need to understand that just because you put it in a prenup does not mean that it will be enforced😳 As adding any sexual provisions to a prenup would in fact make it a sex contract - which is AGAINST public policy!!
About the first situation… I only came to say, it’s not just narcissistic men that do this… It’s narcissistic family members… Specifically, toxic mothers… Her exact situation is what I’m experiencing, except with my mother and brother… Literally, everything… From leaving a job that would have set me up for retirement, venting to those who have your best interests, only to learn that they were steering my right back AND telling my toxic mother and brother what I expressed to them, as well as gaslighting me about anything I said about them… It took me so long to see fully what was happening, and is now taking me years to remove myself from this situation… Now going into my 50th year of life and I am struggling to just live for the day I exist is… I survive only because I refuse to let them win the battle for my life, my time, my energy…
Great vid and stories. That poor girl in the first story. And the man who resents his wife? A really great case study in men's supposed vs actual desires. Love you burb ❤❤
Your circumstance isn't simply based on your "research and preparation." We also have to learn to say NO and to WALK THE FK AWAY!!!! I'm gonna be honest with you... Some of us are too worried about being the ahole. News flash-being the ahole isn't the worst thing you can be. Being a doormat is!!!!!! If you have to forcefully do what's necessary for your wellbeing and it causes you to make your aggressor's feelings secondary to accomplish it then BE THE AHOLE! This is what it means to decenter men. I have a very good man in my life right now but the one thing I have affirmed to myself that will protect me above all else (and he knows it also) is I will not participate in BS. I will leave! 1 year in... 2 years in... 5 years in... 20 years in... It's the promise I've made to myself. So no, I can't tell the future but there's only one type of circumstance I'll be a part of. Disrespect, disregard, mistrust and I'll leave. Period.
This man is not a psychiatrist "Normal women" "strange quirk" coupled with the fact that he uses no statistical data and inaccurate details about historical circumstance is telling.
It’s frustrating to hear, “this person mistreats me and demeans me but sometimes they’re nice so I’m confused.” wtf?? Also she can just move back and probably get her old job back
I thought i was the problem for years because i would run at the site of trouble and spoke up if i was unhappy and men do not like that... when i blocked a man i was serious... now everyone coming forward with alllll they have been enduring
25:39 Did the men forget that those privileges for men never went away? All they have to do is ask or apply to whatever is needed to get done. Just like they just recent allow women to apply. I’m in a program with a bunch of mom’s because it’s moms who applied. The first time I’ve seen a dad in the program, because he enrolled to our program. I felt so happy because now we can get a father’s perspective with our children’s education.
I feel really bad for the first woman. Feeling stuck in life is not ideal. But, if she is a RN couldn’t she get a job as a traveling nurse and leave this way? It may mean giving her dogs to someone else temporarily or permanently and leaving some possessions behind, but if she is desperate enough it may be a plan. Plus, the extra money would help with relocating and might be a reason for him to agree to it.
The one about resenting his fit, feminine, fertile, friendly housewife makes me think about the beautiful Vanessa Bell Calloway’s character in my favorite movie, _Coming to America_: Whatever you like…🤦🏾♀️😅
In the 3rd story, I don’t believe for one second that he wasn’t aware that his wife (then girlfriend) had a boring, deadpan personality. He always knew this about her and had no problem with it because he didn’t want a woman with opinions and, probably, in the past, the fact that she didn’t have anything to say for herself meant she wouldn’t try to initiate/engage him in conversation. It worked perfectly for him because it meant he could do his own thing. I can’t tell you how many people I know that have marriages like this. Only problem is that it wears thin after several years. The mortal of the story is that the OP needs to grow and, also, be careful what you wish for.
I also noticed he always mentioned himself never anything about her in detail. I don't believe for a second she doesn't have opinions on anything. He sounds like a selfish prick who never got to know his wife. I guarantee every conversation is centered around what he finds interesting. She also sounds depressed.
Access to our bodies on demand is what marriage is. No matter if we are sick, tired, pregnant, just gave birth, we owe a husband the use of our body whenever he wants. Which is why I am no longer married and will never be again.
The last guy is absolutely not a psychiatrist. He sounds like he’s never even taken a college level history class. But luckily there is a social studies class designed specifically to teach the exact area of history he seems to be confused about; gender studies.
![[UNCUT] The Loyal Pin ปิ่นภักดิ์ EP.15 (3/4)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IVwR87OH0_A/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm so sick of men acting like they need help, yet no men ever step up to help these boys. Everyone always expects a woman to fix things enough is enough
Then they turn around and say men are the logical fixers.
Hypocrisy at its finest!
They wish for our labour but not our presence
THANK U
Exactly! And what are these "special programs for women"? In my entire life, college, career I have never been offered help because of my gender. They are so delusional 😂
"Nookie-neglected trauma"
That's the most overdramatically manbaby term ever coined
YES! 🤡🤛🏾
I bet you he sucks in bed. Given the tantrums he is throwing, can't imagine any woman finding attraction after a couple months. He is delusional
That's not even real and not even close to the trauma of getting pressured to have sex like what these women feel. The absolute clownery
attempted marital grape legal push
He is literally saying he is an animal and can not control his urges and that sex defines him. Not having sex gave him TRAUMA !
For the prenup story, he’s punishing his current spouse for HIS past.
For the resentful guy, help your woman out! Do chores, get a nanny or maid, then maybe she could become human again! I’m disgusted with him. He’s blaming her for HIS decision.
Story #2- I see why there was a dead bedroom. Dealing with him 24/7 would kill anyone’s libido.
I can feel my ladyboner permanently shrivel up just reading about him.
Couldn't have said it better myself... 🙏🙏🍀🍀👍
😂😂😂 RIGHT?!?!?! HE SOUNDS EXHAUSTING!
And you know the 🍆 is trash. Some men just feel entitled to women's bodies. It's absurd.
Word to the wise: if you EVER have to abandon a pet (or even two) or perfect working situation to be with a man, you're in danger. Your pets are the only unconditional love youll ever get. Don't abandon that for a man, especially when they're seniors and you've been the center of their world for their whole lives. Any man who'd accept you having to do that isn't worth having.
This!!!
110%, NEVER give up loyal pets for some xy. Anyone who would even suggest that is a turd.
Honestly that was a red flag against her too 🚩
I agree with this. I don’t have any pets (the cats I had died years ago), but if I did, I’d NEVER give up my pet. If the guy is allergic, he can see an allergist.
Yes! Especially old pets 💔😿
😔
A guy expecting access to my peach basically anytime he wants it is hella wild to me. That's definitely a red flag and scary. 😮😮🤯🤯🚩🚩🚩🚩
@@Redleaves88i think that's what he wanted, for her to be upset and uncomfortable.
What he wants is literal marital r. in a contract form, it is not only a red flag, it is literally r. I bet the first wife could not run fast enough from him and he is just exaggerating some dead bedroom to pressure her with some "trauma".
Right. They think they own your body after marriage
marital grape isn't suddenly legal with a contract, he thinks he is Christian Gray
he thinks he is Christian Gray, contracts are civil law, criminal law supersedes it @@insideAdirtyMind
I didn’t move for a man but I relocated to a new state, got pregnant and for sure got trapped- took me 4 years to get out physically, financially, and mentally unscathed ‼️ DONT DO IT- JUST DONT
My story is similar. I met my first boyfriend of 57 when I just turned 18 and was in foster care. He went through my financial aid check, convinced me to sign myself out of the agency and move to a whole new state with him. Took my virginity, wanted to get me pregnant (thankfully, I couldn't because of health issues), and he guilted me for wanting to leave him and gain financial independence. He moved me out of the city to the sticks where I had to depend on him even for a run to the store because he drove and I didn't. I was a city girl used to public transportation. In order to distract me/dissuade me from getting a job like I wanted to make my own money, he told me to just focus on school to make it seem like he was about empowering me. Although I have fond memories, I also still feel betrayed as a grown woman now looking back. We were together for 4 years. I Mean, I was a KID in the system grieving the loss of my family, and friends from high school staring out my freshman year I college.
Don’t worry sista, I’m NOT gonna do it! They are ALL that way!
Your a survivor 💪🏾💯
I’m glad you were able to survive, the experience! I almost moved once. It was going to be in an entirely different city, about 2 hours away from the guy. I knew full well, I didn’t want to be in the same city, just in case. Fortunately, it wasn’t a serious endeavor for me. I just did a little research on the matter. Thankfully, my purpose was more important.
Me too pretty much except i couldn’t get pregnant but i did end up homeless. Do not recommend.
To prenup girl, DO NOT MARRY HIM.
Hes a monster. Shes nuts. This man is masochist.
I Agree 💯😮
@1Skorpia I think you mean "sadist"
I’m so sorry, when was it that we reached equality????? I must have missed it 😂😂
Maybe right after Barack Obama erased racism. Maybe around 2022 or so
Or how usa erased war, famine, trrrorism, slvery etc.... Dont exist
Also men are lazy thats why rhere are more women in uni than men
Cuz they want a free degree and women actually work for it
Men wanna be crypto scammers and fail high school cuz they harras women instead study
Today my mother told me about a friends son who at age 17 decided to harras women, not study and be out till 3am
Or to touch himself for fun in class and other men in class too
So yea
Men sre lazy thats why they fail school
Women are more organised and have discipline and are humble
@@BurbNBougie😂😂
😂Right! I laughed at that. “Equality” is having equal student body population?
Who’s gonna tell him?
It NEVER happened... 😮
Sounds like the "perfect wife" is deeply depressed. Which he hasn't noticed. And doesn't care about.
He sees her as hes companion only npc
Not a person
And hes mad hes npc isnt a maniac pixie dream girl
Tbh i believe regardless hes be mad and "bored of her" Cuz men are never gratefull or happy
Of course he has noticed - he intended EXACTLY that... SICK but true... 😳😱🙈
@@rebekkagasmi9451Exactly, he wants her to be miserable.
I think it's definitely depression.
I just wanted to type the same! She gave her life to him to take care of him and birth his children (which he is "helping" taking care of 🙄), now she's not entertaining enough anymore and he just wants a shiny new toy instead of maybe treating her like a person and asking her if she's happy or if her needs are fulfilled.
The girl who moved across the country is my story to the tee, down to her age. I moved from DC to Seattle and the guy I was with did the same thing except he paid all the bills. The way he treated me over the year we were dating and when I moved in are like night and day. I barely lasted 90 days with him. Little did he know I saved 10k during the pandemic and inherited some money so I was able to move back into my house that my family was living in and found a job/ bought a new car in less than 2 weeks. Always have a backup plan ladies!
P.S. If you are a nurse or working towards it, please be vigilant about male gold diggers. They have a lot of calculated tactics.
Thanks for the PS because that’s true. There are male gold diggers out there, and their target is nurses (BSNs or nurse practitioners, not CNAs) because they have the money and most nurses have the instinct to “help and take care of” people.
@@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Livinganother group is those who used to get disability and retail, warehouse workers. Retail workers have erratic schedules so it used to be easy to play ppl for their purses when they not home
#4 It's almost like once the deck wasn't stacked in their favor they immediately started to flounder. It's almost as though they weren't the superior gender to begin with and they had artificially skewed the competition to ensure their continued success as a gender.
Who could have seen this coming? Probably them, which is why equality took so long to get to this point
There’s some research I did that could explain this; before 1400c Europe women had businesses and their own autonomy until Heinrich Kramer started basically a smear campaign against one woman which ultimately became a gender gen*cide by creating the book the Hammer of Witches where he claimed woman were the devils conspirators. The church at first dismissed him but eventually came with a doctrine that women should be bare feet and belly full, men started claiming women as witches to take their businesses and mass hysteria started as a result. I think any women would silent marry a man if it meant keeping her life, and mothers would instill the need that their daughter’s should marry and a whole bunch of issues that we currently have….
they never discuss AVERAGES between the sexes re intelligence because women are about FIVE points higher
#1 I noticed when I was dating that a lot of men wanted me to "pour my heart out to them" telling them all my trauma. They pretended to be sympathetic. However, it became obvious to me relatively quickly that they were looking for ways to get an inside track to manipulating me.
So when they would ask me what I was looking for I would deliberately keep it vague. I realized that they can only tell you what you want to hear, if they know what you want. So if you don't give them any information they're more likely to be themselves and show their red flags.
Exactly
🙏🙏🍀🍀🍀
I don't think you should ever share anything about yourself or others with ANY MEN. Even a great one.
Now learning this... never tell no man anything. I learned the hard way my mistake of doing this
That's savvy
For the husband who says he’s married to a robot…she hates him too..and she’s closed in and is over him. That’s why she doesn’t interact. She had just as much resentment as he does.
I agree. I noticed he could not describe what she liked. Sounds to me like he is selfish where everything centers around him. She probably just wants him to shut up.
I moved for my first husband. Quickly got baby trapped. He would leave on Friday and I wouldn’t see him until Monday. And of course we only had one car. I moved back home to get away from him. But he came too. He ruined everything we did. Crashed every car we had. He was 8 years older and I was his second wife. When I finally left him, he cut my brake line and didn’t care if our daughter was in the car when my brakes went out. That was 35 years ago. My daughter hasn’t seen him since she was 14 years old. She will be 40 this year. NEVER move or relocate for a man, they ALWAYS change. If you do, have a backup plan. My daughter and I have had a wonderful life. Him, not so much.
Wow! Sounds like a lifetime movie!
What he did with your car was a flat-out MURDER attempt, wasn't it??!! 😳😱 I REALLY hope you reported him to the police... Did you...? 🤔
@@rebekkagasmi9451 I did not. I would have to prove it. I was lucky. My brakes went out as I was backing out of the driveway and I rolled into my neighbors driveway. My brother fixed my brakes. And life went on. He got his comeuppance. They usually do.
That man should 100% be in jail for attempted unaliving.
@@continuousself-improvement1879jail 2 good for a demonic like that…
So he decided he didn't want a woman to bark like a dog and hop on one leg for him. Now he wants to throw her away.
We knew this. That's why if the wife is the perfect stepford wife they want, the mistress is always fun and interesting. The mistress is always everything they say they don't want. Men like this should not marry. They should make business arrangements for someone to have their kids and hire a maid and chef. With those things taken care of, he can spend time with his "true love" without having to cheat.
I bet the jerk upvoted that tweet that was about hating your girlfriend.
They don’t want to pay that’s why they finesse from good girls.
People cheat on the ones they love all the time
And the ones who marry the wild, greedy chick(I’m not using that in a derogatory way either) will leave her too while calling her a “slore”.They always want the opposite of what they have!
@@food4thought692They've got NO problem WHATSOEVER with paying ANY amount of money (even money they don't even have!) for their sidepieces... 😮
Speaking of men studying us, did you hear about the reddit story where this college guy basically made a lexicon/Pokédex (fictional encyclopedia from the Pokémon franchise) of all the girls in his class.
Used it for "dating"/ getting to know girls and having conversations with them. Later shared it with male classmates, who shared amongst dozens of other guys to date the girls. They used it to get close to the girls fast, and basically pump and dump them. One girl found out (or maybe he told her?) and told the other girls, and now, surprise, surprise, _none_ of the girls have any interest in _any_ dude in their class. The OP was literally asking if he was an A-hole. They do not see us as people at all.
If you want to read it yourself, I can try to find the story, though it's been a while since I heard it. But yeah, at this point, for a good majority, my fist will speak better than words.
Edit: The title of the post is "AITAH for making a real life pokédex of girls at my university?" Just re-read some things, and it turns out this dude is a frat bro (shocker, there), and around 40 guys were involved before being found out. He _insists_ it wasn't a guide for hooking up with women, just "impressing" them. Y'know, these guys have no comprehension of grape because, I'm sure if you told them they were grapists for engaging in this, they would disagree.
This is also basically why/how Facebook was first created.
@naediggs4816
Please say he got roasted in the comments.
Oh, wow. They put so much energy into being awful..
@@kellycowley3535 he was voted an A-hole. The title of the post is "AITAH for making a real life pokédex of girls at my university?" Just re-read some things, and it turns out this dude is a frat bro (shocker, there), and around 40 guys were involved before being found out. He _insists_ it wasn't a guide for hooking up with women, just "impressing" them. Y'know, these guys have no comprehension of grape because, I'm sure if you told them they were grapists for engaging in this, they would disagree.
@@naediggs4816
I'm just glad he got roasted in the comments. He can't justify or excuse it when bunch of redditors are spelling out exactly how he messed up, how badly he messed up and how his actions effected others. (Well that's what redditors usually do on aita, they don't mess around or beat around the bush when they think someone is the asshole.)
I'm so glad that women are able to tell their stories to the world with a click of a button. I am glad that women all over the world can read these stories and will be able to see the red flags a head of time before they become trapped, abused or unalived.
Most of the programs are gender neural and targeted toward first generation college students and lower income students are the focus of most higher education. The issue is that alot of men don't sign -up in equal number as young women. Young men aren't socialized to think that education is important.
Finally someone said it since this is the truth red pillars want to hide
We don´t have special programs for female students at my university, just for every students. What exactly is this guy talking about? What kind of programs are these? I would like to know so I can take all these special female programs, thanks.
@@insideAdirtyMindHe knows there aren’t any, that’s a lie they spread that it’s difficult to refute. He sounds like a MAGA, talking about “all of the help the government gives to those people”.
@@insideAdirtyMindother than bw in stem and bw in tech scholarship/grants idk what other ones but they did it because more and more bw have been showing how valuing education is important
Or they think they have whole lifetime to figure things out
Call your old boss and see if you can get your job back. Then ask family and friends for help to get back home and stay with them until you can get your own place again. Don't tell him you're leaving and just pack up and take that flight back when hes at work. Block him and completely fall off his earth once you hit that airport, Don't even leave a note. You'll be OK 👍🏿
This!
That was my first thought too. I’m sure they’d rather rehire someone who they already get along and with and understands how the hospital runs.
Excellent advice.
Yep..... Straight ghost. No posting on social media at all. Go dark
Do this!
Never give a cheater a second plan or move for a man. If you decide to move for somebody you should always have an Exit plan and emergency funds. Unfortunately we can't vet but we can prepare.
This! 💯💯💯💯
Or get your own place in a few towns down.
If you do decide to move for somebody, make sure that SOMEBODY is YOURSELF. And, yes, an escape plan is always great planning.
Exactly. Never even date guys who got recently divorced because 100% it's their fault and you're picking up someone's trash thinking it's treasure.
The fact the human race survive all this time amaze me everyday. Like really.
IKR. 😳🤦🏾♀️
And the rate at which we're moving, we might not be here long.
You can not use the law to remove consent
This guy is a liviiiiing red flag
RUUN FOR YOUR LIFE
Indeed 😮
Plus how can it be proven if they had sex a certain amount of times per week? What can he do to lose everything in the inevitable divorce?
Seriously doubt the XY that wrote the last post is a psychologist. He probably works in the mailroom of a university. That’s what he means by “in academic circles”.
😂 maybe since he didn’t get that men aren’t are a minority that’s why there are so few women in stem and why can’t men study and get into college
It's laughable at best 🤡🤛🏾
most psychologists disagree, we are not a hivemind so anytime they try to act like there's one opinion, they're lying
@@seabreeze4559 I agree people are different so no one generalization is correct
I couldn't even understand the mush mouth word salad. You'd think an academic psychologist would have a level of critical thinking and be above publishing this self-absorbed nonsensical rant
15:16 this is madness. I dated someone for awhile who would start fights like this, it was wild. It’s also sooo annoying that men center s-x in relationships when there’s no guarantee they can perform at 100% even in their prime.
I’m now wondering how much damage that psychiatrist has done to his clients with this rubbish.
tbh I don't think he is a qualified psychiatrist unless he got his degree from Reddit university 🤪 He just doesn't speak like one with facts and figures. Where are the studies, where is the work that he is doing? Notice how he does not talk about issues that he has dealt with his male or female clients in his job. I personally am not a fan of Richard Reeves but at least he proposes "solutions" as he studies in this field.
@@evif9377exactly!!!
Unfortunately there are more than a few incels in medicine. Discernment is critical when choosing mental health providers.
If that person is even a psychiatrist, they clearly don't know that a number of colleges started football teams and programs to attract male students. Attract them to the school itself not to the team.
If this seems sort of strange to you consider that in many states the highest paid government employee is an athletics director at a public university and college. And yes, those programs do attract donor money. But male specific programming just to get dudes interested in going to a school have existed for a long time. In fact, they are the default.
@@lucindabreeding 💯
Ladies. By the time we get to the suggestion of them needing to work on themselves know that the relationship is already done. End it. People don’t change unless the conditions around them change. Can’t do it if you are still living together. We need to get through this mindset
Housework and taking care of everything and everyone takes so much mental and physical energy that you just want to shut off after a day of that. In a few years she'll hate him because he is just another child to take care of.
It drains the life and Soul of a woman. It's Demonic 👹🤛🏾💯
I'm starting to believe that the more you find the guy attractive the more likely he's going to be evil,, but it's not good to settle for an ugly guy just because you don't want to be single , it's a lose-lose situation it seems
True indeed
Ugly guys can be evil too
Most people are average. I think there are plenty of average looking dudes with good character
“Settle” for an ugly guy? If he’s good, kind, intelligent, funny, adores you,can even support you if necessary and you even love his family? Would that be settling?
I find all of those things very attractive.
I had a crush for the longest time on my short, homely, glasses wearing accountant. He had a high-ish voice and a lisp, but that man was so smart, well read and always had me laughing.
Too bad he was married or I’d have made my move you bet!
And he treated his wife like a Queen and obviously adored her and their life together. She was one lucky woman.
The worst experiences I have ever had with XYs have been ugly or below average in looks and they presented as "nice". The myth that they are nicer is just that, a myth!
if he wants nookie in the prenup, she needs to request if he gets outside nookie, the 50/50 goes to 80/20!!!!!
100/0
And a guarantee that he will be able to perform in his 80. If not she gets 80 % If we will be objectified and be good only for sex it has to be both ways.
Exactly
The switch flip up upon moving in with a guy is so common. I saw my father do this. It happened to me. I saw it happen to so many friends and acquaintances. The only thing I have found is to take things EXTREMELY SLOW. These people aren't patient (mostly) and will move on to an easier target. Also... I'd advise to NEVER move for a dude.
This poor woman sounds lost. I hope she can get out of her fog and that house.
I moved in with ex…it barely lasted 2 years before I told him I wanted to end things and that it was me not him..I moved out shortly after😂 I have NEVER lived with a man since and it’s been over 10+ years and I will NEVER live with a man again.
@FreeBirdee username checks out
Dated a guy in highschool/college who became a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists are nutso cuckoo, to use the technical terms. Psychologists are a better bet if you are seeking real help. Every psychiatrist I have ever encountered has been certifiable. I think that's why they became psychiatrists, to keep themselves out of mental institutions.
😂😂 not funny but😂😂😂
😂😂I've observed some of this behavior from people in the field......yeah there is definitely some validity.
Cant speak for other colleges, but at mine it was much easier for men to be accepted because there were less applicants whereas women had far more competition. Less men are applying to college in general, but that seems to be left out
Edit: to add, nearly all the women on my campus needed to have a 4.0 to get in, but there were multiple guys who had a GPA less than that or even at 3.0
Yes men don’t talk about this
And if men are choosing to not go to college it’s not the women who went fault that men are not up to it
@@neigeepierrot4694 💯
Many men think it’s beneath them to study hard, follow directions from a teacher, etc
@@KlaudiaShaefferr I agree then they get angry when they don’t do well in school since if they invented the school system why do they see it as beneath them to do well where did it find from
The lady that is a nurse. Has she thought about becoming a travel nurse? Most companies will provide travel nurses with living accommodations
The 'resented housewife' is not necessarily a personality issue. There is something else going on that he is probably clueless to. It could be medical/depression. It could be she just needs to REST from doing ALL THE WORK. Get a nanny and a maid and then see what personality she has!
Stop talking so much ladies. That's not an attack on anyone. That's something I've had to learn. It's easy for people who want to use us to do so when we give them the cheat code. If you are going to move, you always need to have a contingency plan. Either in the new place or in the old place. Never be dependent on a man.
I'm celibate and have been for a long time and will be until. But my libido is through the rough. I still wouldn't sign this. I've heard about women not being able to have sex for years during menopause. What if they have kids and she's on pelvic rest during her entire pregnancy. What if after birth sex is too painful. There are just too many whatifs to ever sign something like that. It's apparently also illegal. But, no. No to signing it and no to this whole relationship
I urge women to look into stoicism. The lessons there will set you free.
@@fburnsDubstepEnderFoxYES. There’s a reason why the people in power try to keep the rest of us uneducated. I saw a comment once that blew my mind, “They will never educate us enough to take away their power.”
it's illegal, he thinks Christian Gray is real
4. Men won't allow equality. Don't we remember Tokyo Medical University's scandal in 2018? They lowered female students entrance score to favour male students. This is how men help men.
Story 1: forward your mail to someone you trust and Disappear. No explanation necessary.
💯💯
What the actual fxc!! The prenup is wild. He sounds like a teen forced to live in the adult world so he created this fantasy world. Just wild!!! Marriage isn't all you can eat buffet for sex. JeZzus!!
The last one made me scoff. In my country there are programmes that encourage women to go into STEM. But we also have programmes that encourage boys to go into care, primary education and teaching. We want people following their talents and passions.
My husband works in electricity engineering and they have a girls day, where girls from middle schools are invited specifically. But they also have a kids day, where whole classes are invited, boys and girls and the kids of the employees. They do interactive stuff and get to ask questions and things.
Yes, some jobs have more of one gender than the other. But it's not like men are barred from any job. And we all know they often get promoted to managerial positions faster, resulting in the odd phenomenon of having a team of all women and one male boss.
I’m so grateful to my therapist. She warned me against sharing too much.
#2 This sounds like someone who plans on being a two-pump chump. The fact that he doesn't want enthusiastic consent should have been enough of a red flag to run. The mentality of someone to be comfortable demanding this is unreal.
*Edit*
After listening to the dynamics of the relationship in her previous post I am flat out disturbed by this man as a person. He does not like your independence he just like the load being taken off of him. He will cheat on you with this massive women that he feels entitled to while using you for your resources that's assuming he doesn't plan on doing worse. Given that you are a childbearing age should also consider some sort of BC that cannot be tampered with because anyone who's comfortable with this level of coercion this early in is not going to stop at just verbal abuse and manipulation this will escalate as he gets more comfortable. There is absolutely some sadism and a sadistic mindset showing itself in their relationship already this never ends well. I would see if there was a way to contact the ex-wife because he's definitely lying about that as well. She's going to need confirmation to accept what she already knows to be true.
Omg RUN LIKE HELL!!!! I dated a man exactly like this. I started the relationship healthy and thick in all the right places at 82kg. When he was done with me I was 28kg and you could see the bones in my back. He was tall, dark and handsome physically and spiritually, the devil had nothing on him.
OP #1 - I went through the bait and switch as well. He didn't cheat, but that's pretty much the only abusive thing he didn't do. You can get out. It took me 2 years, but I did it. So can you! Sending love and courage.
Judge Lyn Toler of Divorce Court always said, "NO RING...NO MOVING!"
If I was her, I would get a contract in nursing working for a hospital. Many agencies offer stipends for accommodations and she’ll get paid weekly that gives her the opportunity to pick up and go and just focus on getting her money up. If she’s able to leave everything to go to him, then she should be able to get up and leave everything for herself.
She has so many options as a nurse, it’s wild that she feels so defeated
I've applied to and been accepted at at least 3 colleges and at none of these have I ever been part of a female quota or special incentive program. I had the grades, I had the money, I used them to get a degree. So did the men I was in school with.
The thing Mr. Blahblahblah is overlooking is that high school boys aren't qualifying to get into colleges. They appear to be uninterested in college. That leaves a vacuum that is readily filled by women who do want an education. These numbers are the result of informed choices that each are making. No one has to go to college; but if you don't, you need to think about what you want to be doing instead. You can't just sit in the basement playing RPGs all day. Or if you do, keep your mouth off the women who do go after what they want. They're too busy to waste time on "women's fault" this, that, and something else.
I had an IUD become embedded 3 years ago, and ever since then, penetration is painful, so I can not have penetrative sex. Imagine if my spouse divorced me and I got screwed by a prenup because I medically cannot have sex for my health
Wow they haven't been able to remove it? That's crazy
Looking at these stories, I’m speeding off to spinster highway!
😂😂 right me too
The woman who moved: contact someone back home, tell them you're coming as soon as you have enough for a bus ticket. Don't tell anybody else. When you get bus fare, leave then. Worry about everything else when you get to someone safe who will help you. You can get your job back. Maybe you can even get your dogs back. But even if you don't have a place to land, still: move when you can pay for a bus ticket. Leave what you have to leave.
You're alive. Stay that way.
There's a quote in business that says lose your heart, not your head. It applies to a lot. And for sex prenuptial, there should also be a clause for requirements of affection like what Priscilla Chan did with Zuck. Take me out for a date once a week, cuddle with me for 4 hours a week, couples therapy for 6 months before divorce, etc. and you'll get what you want in exchange.
Why do these woman constantly set themselves up. I don't understand. You know hes traumatized with behaviors you don't find appealing..
And you still date them. How can you even like them enough to sleep with. People have no respect for them selves.
I think allot should have therapy as a just a checkup on habits formed in childhood befor they can even date or sleep with people. Because she could have kids with this fool.
Can she get in contact with her old job and see if they'll take her back? Nurses are in demand. Where's she from? I'll help with the plane ticket. Seriously.
Don’t move to live with them and don’t moved them into your place. I pray she can find someone to help her. But call the abuse hotline to see if they can help you. They do have resources for women in need.
The nurse needs to take every shift opportunity offered at her current employment. Direct deposits all moneys in accounts that he has zero access. Pay him zero attention and save 10-15 thousand. Then leave.
The first story: That lady needs to decide if she's going to stay or go! Telling us that she is fed up is one thing, but she needs to prove it to herself. He is mentally deranged and will keep her to be his mule as long as she's there. I hope that she doesn't have in her mind to "win him back", or "win him over". He infact is a lose-lose situation. She's a nurse; her options in the work world should be many. She's dragging her feet. She knows how she feels about how he treats her...move on sis, your wasting precious time.
For the guy with the dunce for a wife...sir love her or leave her. As another commenter on Reddit asked, have you had a purposeful conversation with the wife, describing how you are feeling? People are not Styrofoam cups. We aren't put her to be used. There should be a purpose for each individual's life... The purpose for someone else's life isn't to boost yours in and of itself. He probably never treated her as a partner or he chose someone who is indoctrinated to be a servant.
Man #1's identity is based on being "in control" and a "player." If he thinks that her leaving threatens his identity - she may be in danger
For women who are living with cheaters and gas lighters, it's probably best to make all of your plans very quietly. You might even need to plan to move out when your significant other is out of the house.
I know some people have done this by slowly packing and moving items out of the home and into friends homes with. If you are using friends places a storage, it's probably best to have a 2-week date range that you are planning to execute your exit.
The more a disordered person knows about your plans, the more they can operate to keep you entangled and confused.
#3 It sounds to me like he chose this woman specifically because of desires that were put into him by friends/ family/ culture and even with the most charitable interpretation of his post he definitely sounds like someone who doesn't know who he is or what he actually wants.
It just occurred to me as I listen to the comments that she might have been a different person when they got together. That he was successful in grinding her down and now wants a new challenge.
And I'm reminded of the number of men who go out and try to find women to humble and mold rather than get the pic me who they swear is the only one that deserves relationships.
#4 is so infuriating. Why is it the responsibility of women to "help men" when men HAVE access to help and choose not to utilize it? Men are not held back from applying for anything! There is no "men can't do that" legislation or laws, unlike the system men set up and forced women into, where they couldn't get an education, work outisde the home (for rich white women, black, indigenous, POC and impoverished women always worked, but it had to be in service only), couldn't own a home or bank account and were traded from father to husband like property. Men actively did that TO women. Women are just doing their own things, taking advantage of opportunities they had previously been denied and are killing it. They aren't taking opportunity FROM men, they are competing WITH men for said opportunity, and men are losing. And instead of doing ANY work on themselves, instead of men mentoring other men and boys, instead of acknowledging the history as well as their present predicament, they whine that women won't give men what they want at our expense. His question basically is him whining that he feels entitled to the labor and resources of women and that he's mad they aren't just offering to suffer so men can thrive instead. That's his take. And he's genuinely confused about why women aren't helping.
Prenup lady broke up with him before, but now she’s engaged to him? He hasn’t changed, still sounds controlling. Get off Reddit & walk away already. 🚶🏿♀️🚶🏿♀️The 3rd story shows how even when you give men what they want, they’re never satisfied. Never mold yourself for a man ladies. For the last post, 🎻🎻🎻🎻🎻
Im going to be honest.. sometimes you can tell a woman in a relationship that that man aint no good, please dont get pregnant by him. Please dont let him move in. And please dont move in another country or state to be with him. She be so in love and blinded that she dont see the signs or red flags that are blazing off him. She will fight augrue and even go back and tell the boyfriend/husband everything you said. She will even call you jealous or bitter. Turn around he dog her out treat her all type of ways. Then she wants to call you crying about how he is treating her. Got to be careful with those types of females.
dealing with two in my family right now...both are over 50. Smfh
@StarryWaters-gq1oj I'm all too familiar, I have let go plenty of friends because of a man. I had one friend that so much older than me. She asked me if she should let her boyfriend move in with. her. I told her not to do it. She did it anyway. the next thing I knew, she did it and she called me, telling me what he doing and what he is saying to her...SMH, this one is a long one.
That first story. She’s a nurse, she could get a travel nurse job which would provide money for housing and food while she’s working
Nailed it. Even nurse aides get a stipend
I'm laughing at the trauma for a dead bedroom. That's not real. What's real is the trauma these men induce to women for pressuring them into sex to keep the relationship going.
She needs to get to a woman doctor ASAP and get her blood checked. From her symptoms, she could be being poisoned. I know that stress and even dehydration can cause mental confusion, but this sounds beyond the normal symptoms. It could be very low doses, so it just makes her feel icky, but not enough to make her really sick. My ex poisoned me with low doses of antifreeze for about four years, so I know what I’m talking about. 😳🤢🤷♀️
Oh my goodness! I hope that monster ex is sitting in prison for that!
love bomb, idealize, devalue, discard - the victim is now trauma bonded, she is describing narcissistic abuse. There needs to be no diagnosis, if a person wouldn't tolerate said behavior from you, get out.
One guy asked to relocate for him. He wanted me to leave my family and job for him. Meanwhile, he offered no security. He had no health insurance, no life insurance, preferred to do mediocre job. I asked him to show his finances so i could if he could take care of us..he couldn't. He was in his late 30s. I've seen how low men can go. I have zero sexual attraction towards a man who refuses to elevate himself.
12:51 this is disgusting and damn right criminal to even ask. Making a contract regarding sex is really coercion. If you don’t do this sex act… you don’t get this (potential harm or threat). This is beyond rapey. Diabolically sadistic imo
I moved 3 hours away to a town where I knew no one for a man. We were engaged 6mths after meeting and found out he didn’t have enough money to move in with me. WTF. I had given notice to my job several weeks before and notice to my roommates so I was like oh hell no fiancé find a way. He sold his beloved truck and we found a trailer on property to rent.
Should have been a deal breaker but I was young and had grown up in an abusive home so this was all familiar. The whole relationship/marriage only lasted 5yrs (still way too long) and no kids.
She’s right, we lived apart and only saw eachother on weekends. Mostly when I drove the distance to see him . Lord it’s hard not to be mad at myself sometimes. The next fellows I dated just were progressively worse so I chose the single life
The lady from threads 2 and 3 is dealing with a monster. He's extremely manipulative. These abusers are outta control… sheesh.
Nookie neglected - I’m loving these new terms 😅
The nerve😮 And I bet he's not even good at sex🤦🏾♀️😒😑🤡🤛🏾
That man and his wife reminds me of Vanessa Bell Calloway's character in Coming to America, " Whatever you like..."
I moved an entire continent for my husband. But clearly I met him and not a representative. He was very honest and forthright. We're great together.
There are plenty of people who truly do have a low libido, but sometimes it's your partner or you. There is no way to guarantee consistent sex throughout a long term relationship. Both parties will get sick, maybe seriously. Both parties could have mental issues or life events that stop sex (hopefully temporarily). And then sometimes people change. The person you met was likely on their best behavior. You may not like your partner after a few years, not as much, so there is no way to guarantee your sex drive will stay the same.
To the nookie prenup: I have a high libido still didn’t stop the dead bedroom in o ur last year out of 8 total. It’s. A natural sign that the relationship has changed and it’s time to leave. Dead bedrooms are a gift in my eyes, a natural outcome of an incompatible relationship. Lack of respect and safety kill my drive and it’s the same for many other people.
Tell her to put a cheating clause in as well
I would be destroying any cameras that i didn't have access to. The audacity!
The nerve of this man begging for peace gets it now he wants a divorce. He looking for a backtalking masculine woman
He wants to rest in his Femininity 😒😑
13:17 this man sounds like he lacks character and personality and he uses sex to fill voids. It almost sounds like he enjoys the challenge of trying to gain control her bc she's a powerful women.
Psychiatrist: holy internalized misogyny! He can't see the water he is swimming in, all those open doors. 🤷🏽♀️
He's lying 😹😹😹🤡🤛🏾
She doesn't have to couch surf. Become a traveling Nurse, take an assignment as close to home as you can get. They pay for you to have somewhere to stay. You know what have to do. Get your mind back in the game and let that license work for you. Use the connections with the job you left, and if you left on good terms you know you can go back. 14:17
Nurse here. Take a travel assignment with take the housing instead of the stipend for a few months. You got this!!
Girl that is it we're done fixing everybody else's problems. We'll fix ourselves everybody else fix themselves. Love you commentary. Take care.
The lady from story #2 needs to RUN!! It doesn’t matter what his last partner did, you are not obligated to hand your body over to him under ANY circumstances. And I say this is as a woman that was nookie deprived in my marriage ( now divorced) this woman seems to have ignored every red flag as I did. She needs to get her some self respect and leave!
People need to understand that just because you put it in a prenup does not mean that it will be enforced😳 As adding any sexual provisions to a prenup would in fact make it a sex contract - which is AGAINST public policy!!
About the first situation… I only came to say, it’s not just narcissistic men that do this… It’s narcissistic family members… Specifically, toxic mothers… Her exact situation is what I’m experiencing, except with my mother and brother… Literally, everything… From leaving a job that would have set me up for retirement, venting to those who have your best interests, only to learn that they were steering my right back AND telling my toxic mother and brother what I expressed to them, as well as gaslighting me about anything I said about them… It took me so long to see fully what was happening, and is now taking me years to remove myself from this situation… Now going into my 50th year of life and I am struggling to just live for the day I exist is… I survive only because I refuse to let them win the battle for my life, my time, my energy…
Great vid and stories. That poor girl in the first story. And the man who resents his wife? A really great case study in men's supposed vs actual desires. Love you burb ❤❤
Glad you enjoyed it
Your circumstance isn't simply based on your "research and preparation." We also have to learn to say NO and to WALK THE FK AWAY!!!! I'm gonna be honest with you... Some of us are too worried about being the ahole. News flash-being the ahole isn't the worst thing you can be. Being a doormat is!!!!!! If you have to forcefully do what's necessary for your wellbeing and it causes you to make your aggressor's feelings secondary to accomplish it then BE THE AHOLE! This is what it means to decenter men. I have a very good man in my life right now but the one thing I have affirmed to myself that will protect me above all else (and he knows it also) is I will not participate in BS. I will leave! 1 year in... 2 years in... 5 years in... 20 years in... It's the promise I've made to myself. So no, I can't tell the future but there's only one type of circumstance I'll be a part of. Disrespect, disregard, mistrust and I'll leave. Period.
This man is not a psychiatrist "Normal women" "strange quirk" coupled with the fact that he uses no statistical data and inaccurate details about historical circumstance is telling.
Maybe the nurse should try a travel assignment. Put everything in storage and leave.
It’s frustrating to hear, “this person mistreats me and demeans me but sometimes they’re nice so I’m confused.” wtf?? Also she can just move back and probably get her old job back
I thought i was the problem for years because i would run at the site of trouble and spoke up if i was unhappy and men do not like that... when i blocked a man i was serious... now everyone coming forward with alllll they have been enduring
25:39 Did the men forget that those privileges for men never went away? All they have to do is ask or apply to whatever is needed to get done. Just like they just recent allow women to apply. I’m in a program with a bunch of mom’s because it’s moms who applied. The first time I’ve seen a dad in the program, because he enrolled to our program. I felt so happy because now we can get a father’s perspective with our children’s education.
I feel really bad for the first woman. Feeling stuck in life is not ideal. But, if she is a RN couldn’t she get a job as a traveling nurse and leave this way? It may mean giving her dogs to someone else temporarily or permanently and leaving some possessions behind, but if she is desperate enough it may be a plan. Plus, the extra money would help with relocating and might be a reason for him to agree to it.
#3 Makes my blood boil. It’s no different than people saying affirmative action is somehow unfair to whites.
YES!😡😡😡😡👹🤛🏾
The one about resenting his fit, feminine, fertile, friendly housewife makes me think about the beautiful Vanessa Bell Calloway’s character in my favorite movie, _Coming to America_: Whatever you like…🤦🏾♀️😅
In the 3rd story, I don’t believe for one second that he wasn’t aware that his wife (then girlfriend) had a boring, deadpan personality. He always knew this about her and had no problem with it because he didn’t want a woman with opinions and, probably, in the past, the fact that she didn’t have anything to say for herself meant she wouldn’t try to initiate/engage him in conversation. It worked perfectly for him because it meant he could do his own thing. I can’t tell you how many people I know that have marriages like this. Only problem is that it wears thin after several years. The mortal of the story is that the OP needs to grow and, also, be careful what you wish for.
*OP needs to grow up.
I also noticed he always mentioned himself never anything about her in detail. I don't believe for a second she doesn't have opinions on anything. He sounds like a selfish prick who never got to know his wife. I guarantee every conversation is centered around what he finds interesting. She also sounds depressed.
That’s why they ask for your social media when thru first meet you is because they want to study you and see how they can use you.
I will say it again, just ONCE I want to have a partner that's helping me as much as a woman does, freeing a dudes back and lifting him up.
Access to our bodies on demand is what marriage is. No matter if we are sick, tired, pregnant, just gave birth, we owe a husband the use of our body whenever he wants.
Which is why I am no longer married and will never be again.
Owe? 😂 They're lucky they have us. Men can't make a home most women can.
Similar happened to me, I’ll never move for a man again, I won’t even live with them
The last guy is absolutely not a psychiatrist. He sounds like he’s never even taken a college level history class. But luckily there is a social studies class designed specifically to teach the exact area of history he seems to be confused about; gender studies.