“My goal is to be listened to, to be seen. If I can’t have that type of love, I don’t want any type of love. Period.” Absolutely absolutely absolutely!!!
What’s wild is how much of a rebellious act it is to have this standard for yourself in a culture where settling and so called “selflessness” within a relationship is idolized as some moral good.
I literally love you sm. As a black girl u have opened my mind into thinking different and ur changing my mindset a lot for the better bc before i was slow asf and always claiming validation and that shi just made me sadder fr. i’m learning to drop ppl that don’t understand me and now i’m left w nobody😩 amen.
That’s not true at all, my preference is based on how my father was a pieceof shit and I will never birth or sleep with a man that looks like him. I have never been oppressed I have always been treated well by non black people
You are absolutely right. As a light skinned Black woman I pay close attention to what they like about me and how they view darker skinned women. When you're their preference, you feel like a prop. It's not love. It's lust.
I was just saying that to my mother who has a deep complexion. I always felt like a object. Like you only want for how I make you feel. Not you want me regardless of how I make u feel (not saying that toxic behavior is always tolerated)
What women fail to understand about male sexuality, is that sex/lust/desire is always FIRST and FOREMOST at the front of everything, If a man doesn't find you cute or envision himself having sex with you, you're disqualified. [When men approach, most of us don't give a fuck about love and usually aren't looking for a relationship]___________ Some people like myself just don't find dark skin attractive and in todays open market people can talk to whoever they want, they're generally are gonna go for people they like and if that excludes some people then that's too bad.
@@taliwave1946 Sexuality is not synonymous with love. Women have preferences too, it's not just you guys who get to choose who gets us hot. Dont forget that we have our own brains and personalities too. Also, we arent stupid. We listen to hip hop music, you guys make it extremely clear what you like.
Most relationships are transactions based on aesthetics and social standing, not love. People look for partners who will elevate or match their social status. They filter out anyone else. True love extremely rare.
It’s weird how people can be together without being strongly connected like I could never for superficial reasons I’d feel so alone bored and not myself
@@xbirdsofparadise Right?? I was thinking the same thing and that maybe I was the issue but yk I guess some people are ok with whatever or to just have a couple boxes ticked off and others crave a deeper connection or a strong base first 🤷🏻♀️
Handing you your digital flower 🥀 I've been a silent watcher on your TikTok for awhile now. You are not only an intellectually gifted soul, but you are vivacious & full of such passion. I know you are going to lead with such an impact in the digital world. We are in need of women with such depth + wisdom sharing their gifts to all who are conscious to receive. I hope you take the time to pour as much into you as you do with the rest of us, please! I'll be patiently waiting on the next upload xo
hearing u speak on real shit like this is so refreshing. As a gay person of color I can relate to you on so many levels. Of course ur experience is unique to a black woman, but there are so many parallels. Having to change ur personality and overthink every word you say just to be seen or tolerated is so fucking draining and frustrating. I hope you keep making these types of videos cuz not many are saying it bluntly like you. Thank you.
when you spoke about being “unseen” because you were an outspoken girl who wouldn’t change for anyone, that really hit the nail on the head for me. growing up even a little in high school i was the loud girl who said what was on my mind and wouldn’t change for anyone and it caused me to be unliked by my female peers and guys never really expressed interest in me. i saw girls change themselves for the approval of men and i admit i did that as well and it ended up biting me in the ass. I’m going to source my opinions from your videos now
The part of not being seen is crazy frrr. Im kinda the opposite of you, I was quiet in high school and kept to myself most of the time. I never went out my way to do the things that would get me the attention I was looking for, and don't think I didn't want it, I just didn't want to act a certain way to get it like no thank u. There were times where I would be so depressed about this typa shit and question everyday why people dont see me... When I tell you it is the loneliest shit ever to be this way. I never had friends that I was close to and still to this point I don't. Its crazy because i dont want to have to act a certain way to be liked and that's how i've always been and that's why people think im mean or unapproachable or whatever tf. Now i've kinda just accepted it but sometimes its really sad asf
Thank you for shining so much light on life as a black woman and bringing some really important topics to the table. I follow you from a burner account on TikTok but I'm so happy that I can hear you, connect, and support you here too now. I hope your page takes off because you deserve success for your gift.
And this is the main reason why I only express myself through poetry, films, and other ways to where I don't have to speak. Because I feel like before anybody tries to understand me they see how I present myself"androgynous", and they see my skin tone"brown skin" and born a woman. So I always feel like i don't have rights to speak on things that are serious in the world without using subliminal messages. But we have strong minded women like you that can get on a platform and speak ur mind carefree knowing the backlash, you are inspiring.
OH MY GOD. THAT "YOU'RE PRETTY VALIDATION", YES WE NEED TO MOVE PAST IT. I went on a date recently and I got that validation, but... honestly listening to you talk about love and what that is, and relationships nowadays, Why did I get so happy that he called me pretty? Is it because I never got that validation before and now I am? Or is it because I conflate receiving compliments about my physical appearance with affection and love? Probably a mix of all of it but wowowowowowowowowowowowowowow. I want to be seen too, but I guess I equate being seen with being seen *physically*. I just watched Kasia's TedXTalk, and she basically says that women are conditioned to look inwards, at ourselves. At our physical looks, appearances, on us. Men are conditioned to focus on the external environment, to put their focus and attention outwards. And that's probably why I equate a Man noticing me PHYSICALLY as "being seen" and it's fucking blowing my mind right now.
All I know is, we were separated at birth. I am a young Nigerian woman, an immigrant. The cultural context of my upbringing was traditional, sexist, colorist, misogynist, etc. And, I have the same disposition/traits as you; willful, intelligent, confident, non-conforming, opinionated, discerning, funny, etc. Needless to say, it's been a journey. Your talking points absolutely resonate. You have a new subscriber. 🔥💙
‘being a good human being has no race or gender’ dawg this is a golden quote. if you say that to a group of people they’re gonna be so defensive about it because they KNOW that’s true & they’ve acted like trash towards others due to their identity
This is EXACTLY my thinking. If every light skin woman on the planet became dark skinned and every dark skinned became light skinned, every tall person becomes short and vice versa, every skinny person becomes fat and vice versa, every black person becomes white and vice versa, we would be having the complete opposite experiences. That means none of us are truly loved. So find that one person who sees u beyond the physical and sees you for your soul. Forget the rest.
“They see that attachment first, before they see me” wow, you phrased it so well… Traditional parents see us as “their children”, not a person apart from them with their own beliefs… My family always think about what other people would say when they see me doing something against their beliefs.
Being a woman “female” 🙄 they really show just in their terminology that they are first concerned with your posture. It doesnt actually have anything to do with the actual women its just the figure of women is superimposed on us and used to translate all of our actions. I think you’d like the book down girl its about misogyny as the law enforcement of patriarchy, punishing “bad women” that deviate frm their expectations of the role we should fill in they life
That fact that you demand to be heard is a blessing to all of us because your insights are truly so complex and helpful and enlightening. The world shut me up a long time ago with the social abuse/neglect, despite the fact that I KNOW I have real game to spit too. I'm trynna be like you
This is (at this point) the most intelligent presentation of societal perception vs. self awareness I have heard. Continue to DIG INTO this Ma'am. As the kids say, "I am here for it. Period." 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
you are my favorite content creator, you make me feel SO seen! I always thought i was crazy for thinking this way but you make feel like im not alone bestie. I totally understand not everyone gone get it and i gotta leave em behind
this was so deep and i related on so many levels even though i'm not 'not' the beauty standard, but as a black girl in africa, the gender roles thing is so true and i had literally heard my mom say the example you gave and it blew my mind
I share so many of the same frustrations as you, and I'm known in my family for always being really outspoken and unique ig for lack of a better word, but I'm a mixed person, and I grew up with other black girls and I feel like the frustrations that i have as someone who's half white couldn't even compare to yours and theirs and it's like no one sees your pain, so I'm really glad that you're a voice for darkskin/black women, its really admirable!!! I'm glad you're making videos like this that are more in-depth, you're one of my favorite creators and i wish the best for you :))
Please don’t wait til next year to post or whatever .. there r others that rly understand what you’re saying just bc we’ve experienced the same thing … I like the saying theres no knowledge without experience
I resonated so hard with the statement about picking partners like a job as if it was a necessity! It's no longer something organic or natural just something forced and honestly, I can't do that... I will wait for the right person and I will not settle just because society expects me to be married by 25.
I’ve always questioned whether or not love is even a real concept. With most relationships that are thriving today, if you take away something like sex, good looks, lust, money etc., then the whole house crumbles. And it crumbles FAST. Then the only question I’m left with is ‘Did they actually LOVE that person?..’ lol. I’m really starting to believe that love is very much a non-existent thing. Relationships have always been very much transactional no matter what anyone says.
I definitely relate to a lot of things your saying. Literally growing up I hated being seen as feminine because I felt that energy that beauty is all I had to bring. Especially as being a tall woman. Your helping me understand my self & experience more! Thank you Lip Gloss girlllly 💞
Focus on School, never looks That's considered vanity which is useless We are so lucky to be ugly women because men leave us alone and we can just focus on accolades, successful writer philosopher thinker!!!!!!
Personality wise, You’re dammed If you do and dammed if you don’t. If your quiet and chill somethings wrong. If your loud and rambunctious somethings wrong . If you talk “white” you’re ostracized. If you talk “black” you’re considered ignorant. It’s soo annoying . I’ve gotten to the point where if you’re gonna say something slick about me you’re gonna have to explain yourself and we will see how it goes. Challenge accepted! I’m tired of others treating people who are “DS BW and different “ badly!
What you said about dressing more modestly is exactly what I hear from a lot of Muslim women. They feel like people get to know THEM first. Who they are. How they think. And not just seeing a sex object
thank you. this is such a good video, for real. this helped me realize so many things. I kept thinking that to attract a boyfriend, you had to look attractive, but like if someone just loves you for your body and not who you truly are on the inside, then what type of love is that? is it even worth attracting? these points are so enlightening
Me and preferences don’t get along. My partner is the polar opposite of me in many ways style, music taste, and etc. I’m in love with her because I love her for who she is not because of how she looks and what she does or doesn’t have or do. I’ve been questioned about my relationship and it confuses me some of the questions asked by outsiders. Neither one of us conformed to standards, preferences, traditions and etc set up by others. So you snapped with this video and I fully feel the same way. I want to be listen to and seen for who I am not how others see and want me to be. ‼️‼️
Lipgloss you are literally the coolest, realest person on the internet. To disclose, I am a white girl. lol but besides that I wish I had people in my life like you. I watch most all of your videos, and although we live two completely different lives for obvious reason, everything you say remains so true and applies and it’s so refreshingly real. You’re perspective is based off of logic and experience and real shit and is admirable and applicable to my own white girl life. I know you don’t even need to hear this bc u know ur character and u know it’s dope, i just needed to express that to solidify that myself. thank you for everything u say and do u are so dope
I loveeee your content. You are absolutely correct. As a dark skinned woman myself, I know all too well about not being seen let alone heard. I am so proud of your journey.
Relationships shouldn’t be shallow, surface level &|or feel like a jail house . That’s ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP . Love isn’t physically or materialistically conditioned . I agree with you all the way girl ! But anywho you be speaking my mind & I appreciate that lmao
That whole you cover when you go outside made me smile a bit cuz as a muslim woman, when God revealed the verses about the veil, He specified covering the chesticies, to my limited knowledge along the same lines as you are say, so that one is not approached based on their physical endowments. I want to also say that you are doing such divine work. From a sister, I love you and sincerely wish u the best
@@nycdyke2867 she literally said 'to my limited knowledge' and never claimed to be religious. let's not generalise all religious people as not understanding of their religion when 1. the commentator never claimed to be and 2. you haven't met every religious person in the world to make such a broad and assumptive statement.
So inspired by how articulate, smart n thoughtful u are!! Loved all of your tt videos and I cannot wait to watch your yt videos now ur not bound by a small time limit. Could listen to u for hours
I Wich I knew what love is earlier. You are soooooo on point. Please if any young girl is listening to this, rewatch it and study this video (especially girls of color, because sometimes we don't get any validation, so we hold on to any type that comes our way). I learned this the hard way!
I relate to this because im autistic and I have always felt very misunderstood and people never listened to me or took me seriously whenever I express my opinion because apparently i'm seen as a dumbass or I dont know anything or too sensitive
You uploaded this on my bday 💕and the thing you said about relationships being forced feels so true. I've been in a relationship for 6 years and if I acted like him he would've BEEN broken up with me
I completely understand where you're coming from. Being your true and authentic self sets you up for rejection and loneliness. I'd rather be a hermit than to participate in an artificial world.
Let me go watch all your videos 😭. What you said about people not hearing you but hearing you with your physical description in mind first was so eye opening to me. Much love so glad I found you.
ngl you made me tear up a little dude😭 what you say in your videos are really impactful and it makes me feel seen. thank you for sharing your perspective, i feel like i'm learning a lot and you give me so much to reflect on and think about. you're doing amazing!!
Its times like this where you have to ask yourself do you even like them? Who the fuck are they to be judging you and to be the ones to validate you? YFM sometimes we need to step into our own power and let these people know who tf we are as a person. idk that's just me.
thank you for this video, i've been feeling really lonely because nothing romantic has happened to me for a long while, and this really made me reevaluate
what you explained has been how i felt for a long long time. thank you. ive spent my life wanting to be preety and for somebody to tell me that and mean it but youre helping me understand that it doesnt matter at all. the thing that i truly wanted was to be heard.
I love the aura you exude. Fuck the beauty standard. This video just gave me more insight on myself and what I want and expect from the people around me. Thank you for speaking your truth!
YOU ARE so INTELLIGENT AND I HOPE YOU NEVER STOP SHARING TRUTH WITH THE WORLD. THEY MUST LISTEN TO WHAT WE FEEL AND HAVE TO SAY. WE WON'T BE SILENCED ANYMORE IN THE 2020's. LOVE YOU SIS, GOD BLESS!
i feel real love and i express the love i feel for others,,, sadly most people don't get to experience receiving that, even if they are the most beautiful, most kindest, most sweetest people w the best personality
This might be weird but at a certain point I myself start feeling like picking and choosing even based on personality feels a little superficial. I can't really explain why but I feel like when I am exposed to someone who I think has potential it's like I get out the personality checklist instead of just feeling if I like them, and it seems weird to me even though I know that as long as I am not actually in love with somebody my best way to know if I think I could be, is based off of my preferences as far as their personality goes. Also if you don't do that who is to say that chemicals in your brain is not just for some reason making me crush on someone who will be no good for me in the long run. Can somebody who is more emotionally intelligent than me please help me unpack this?
I didnt skip a single second,i love the way you talk so much.Youre literally so intelligent and actually opened my eyes and helped me think smarter,love you
ugh i totally get you. esp with the closeminded parents. they don't see me. they just see this this that on top of who i am. growing up with religious parents was such a misfortune.
I'm so glad I came across you're page on Tik Tok because you really thought me a lot of stuff. I'm still 16 and I'm hoping to be a better overall person for myself and not let others minimize my worth.
“My goal is to be listened to, to be seen. If I can’t have that type of love, I don’t want any type of love. Period.” Absolutely absolutely absolutely!!!
💗💗
Powerful words
Such simple words but this sentence really is so powerful. This is going to stick with me fr
What’s wild is how much of a rebellious act it is to have this standard for yourself in a culture where settling and so called “selflessness” within a relationship is idolized as some moral good.
@@merari1614 i was JUST having this conversation with my mom the other day. it’s the bare minimum for me.
I literally love you sm. As a black girl u have opened my mind into thinking different and ur changing my mindset a lot for the better bc before i was slow asf and always claiming validation and that shi just made me sadder fr. i’m learning to drop ppl that don’t understand me and now i’m left w nobody😩 amen.
prada u
It be like that, enjoy the ride 🤧🤧
Is that kim taehyung in ur pfp😭😭
armyyyy 💜
Lol. I'm sure someone will understand you.
Girl when you said "preferences are based on oppression" my jaw dropped. That's some amazing insight.
Yes it’s the truth and when say this everyone wants to fight me or call me some hater
That’s not true at all, my preference is based on how my father was a pieceof shit and I will never birth or sleep with a man that looks like him.
I have never been oppressed I have always been treated well by non black people
@@elsugga3736 damn
@@elsugga3736 girl that's not about you it's a systematic issue
@@elsugga3736 you’re an individual we are talking systemically💀
I’ve said the preferences thing for 2 years and nobody believed me, it’s literally just bigotry in the form of who you’re willing to date
exactly !!
You are absolutely right. As a light skinned Black woman I pay close attention to what they like about me and how they view darker skinned women. When you're their preference, you feel like a prop. It's not love. It's lust.
I was just saying that to my mother who has a deep complexion. I always felt like a object. Like you only want for how I make you feel. Not you want me regardless of how I make u feel (not saying that toxic behavior is always tolerated)
What women fail to understand about male sexuality, is that sex/lust/desire is always FIRST and FOREMOST at the front of everything, If a man doesn't find you cute or envision himself having sex with you, you're disqualified. [When men approach, most of us don't give a fuck about love and usually aren't looking for a relationship]___________
Some people like myself just don't find dark skin attractive and in todays open market people can talk to whoever they want, they're generally are gonna go for people they like and if that excludes some people then that's too bad.
@@taliwave1946 this is why i could never date a man
@@mesCheerios Your call, but nature is nature, not this romantic drama BS. learn to play the game to your advantage or get left out.
@@taliwave1946 Sexuality is not synonymous with love. Women have preferences too, it's not just you guys who get to choose who gets us hot. Dont forget that we have our own brains and personalities too. Also, we arent stupid. We listen to hip hop music, you guys make it extremely clear what you like.
Most relationships are transactions based on aesthetics and social standing, not love. People look for partners who will elevate or match their social status. They filter out anyone else. True love extremely rare.
Fr
True that :/
It’s weird how people can be together without being strongly connected like I could never for superficial reasons I’d feel so alone bored and not myself
@@xbirdsofparadise Right?? I was thinking the same thing and that maybe I was the issue but yk I guess some people are ok with whatever or to just have a couple boxes ticked off and others crave a deeper connection or a strong base first 🤷🏻♀️
Well u do the same.As my brother advised me,follow.becuz no one loves no one.
Handing you your digital flower 🥀 I've been a silent watcher on your TikTok for awhile now. You are not only an intellectually gifted soul, but you are vivacious & full of such passion. I know you are going to lead with such an impact in the digital world. We are in need of women with such depth + wisdom sharing their gifts to all who are conscious to receive. I hope you take the time to pour as much into you as you do with the rest of us, please! I'll be patiently waiting on the next upload xo
hearing u speak on real shit like this is so refreshing. As a gay person of color I can relate to you on so many levels. Of course ur experience is unique to a black woman, but there are so many parallels. Having to change ur personality and overthink every word you say just to be seen or tolerated is so fucking draining and frustrating. I hope you keep making these types of videos cuz not many are saying it bluntly like you. Thank you.
Ugh yes used to always have to change my personality and “say the right stuff” but I’m over it now
She said it and simple “Being a good person/Love has no gender” and might I add (sexuality)
when you spoke about being “unseen” because you were an outspoken girl who wouldn’t change for anyone, that really hit the nail on the head for me. growing up even a little in high school i was the loud girl who said what was on my mind and wouldn’t change for anyone and it caused me to be unliked by my female peers and guys never really expressed interest in me. i saw girls change themselves for the approval of men and i admit i did that as well and it ended up biting me in the ass. I’m going to source my opinions from your videos now
The part of not being seen is crazy frrr. Im kinda the opposite of you, I was quiet in high school and kept to myself most of the time. I never went out my way to do the things that would get me the attention I was looking for, and don't think I didn't want it, I just didn't want to act a certain way to get it like no thank u. There were times where I would be so depressed about this typa shit and question everyday why people dont see me... When I tell you it is the loneliest shit ever to be this way. I never had friends that I was close to and still to this point I don't. Its crazy because i dont want to have to act a certain way to be liked and that's how i've always been and that's why people think im mean or unapproachable or whatever tf. Now i've kinda just accepted it but sometimes its really sad asf
I RELATE SO FUCKING MUCH oh my god you put how I feel so perfectly
@@toebag4286 i’m glad bc i be feeling like the only one. like i said it’s lonely asf 😭
Omg this is how I feel to a T. You articulated my feelings so well omg
Yea that used to be me
Same i gave up a long time ago
Thank you for shining so much light on life as a black woman and bringing some really important topics to the table. I follow you from a burner account on TikTok but I'm so happy that I can hear you, connect, and support you here too now. I hope your page takes off because you deserve success for your gift.
And this is the main reason why I only express myself through poetry, films, and other ways to where I don't have to speak. Because I feel like before anybody tries to understand me they see how I present myself"androgynous", and they see my skin tone"brown skin" and born a woman. So I always feel like i don't have rights to speak on things that are serious in the world without using subliminal messages. But we have strong minded women like you that can get on a platform and speak ur mind carefree knowing the backlash, you are inspiring.
She’s helping me find my voice. Sounds like you might agree 😊
This is so well said
OH MY GOD. THAT "YOU'RE PRETTY VALIDATION", YES WE NEED TO MOVE PAST IT. I went on a date recently and I got that validation, but... honestly listening to you talk about love and what that is, and relationships nowadays, Why did I get so happy that he called me pretty? Is it because I never got that validation before and now I am? Or is it because I conflate receiving compliments about my physical appearance with affection and love? Probably a mix of all of it but wowowowowowowowowowowowowowow. I want to be seen too, but I guess I equate being seen with being seen *physically*. I just watched Kasia's TedXTalk, and she basically says that women are conditioned to look inwards, at ourselves. At our physical looks, appearances, on us. Men are conditioned to focus on the external environment, to put their focus and attention outwards. And that's probably why I equate a Man noticing me PHYSICALLY as "being seen" and it's fucking blowing my mind right now.
& trust me, when a man can not fully accept you on the inside being validated by him for your looks will never be enough.
All I know is, we were separated at birth.
I am a young Nigerian woman, an immigrant. The cultural context of my upbringing was traditional, sexist, colorist, misogynist, etc.
And, I have the same disposition/traits as you; willful, intelligent, confident, non-conforming, opinionated, discerning, funny, etc.
Needless to say, it's been a journey.
Your talking points absolutely resonate. You have a new subscriber. 🔥💙
I say that all the time. Love nowadays is fake. If you take away the sex, lust, and acceptable appearance, most relationships fail.
‘being a good human being has no race or gender’ dawg this is a golden quote. if you say that to a group of people they’re gonna be so defensive about it because they KNOW that’s true & they’ve acted like trash towards others due to their identity
This is EXACTLY my thinking. If every light skin woman on the planet became dark skinned and every dark skinned became light skinned, every tall person becomes short and vice versa, every skinny person becomes fat and vice versa, every black person becomes white and vice versa, we would be having the complete opposite experiences. That means none of us are truly loved. So find that one person who sees u beyond the physical and sees you for your soul. Forget the rest.
Yes!
“They see that attachment first, before they see me” wow, you phrased it so well… Traditional parents see us as “their children”, not a person apart from them with their own beliefs…
My family always think about what other people would say when they see me doing something against their beliefs.
omg you’re so right😭😭
Facts! My mom is always “what will people say?”-ing me like girl i don’t care…
Being a woman “female” 🙄 they really show just in their terminology that they are first concerned with your posture. It doesnt actually have anything to do with the actual women its just the figure of women is superimposed on us and used to translate all of our actions. I think you’d like the book down girl its about misogyny as the law enforcement of patriarchy, punishing “bad women” that deviate frm their expectations of the role we should fill in they life
exactly !!
god, you're so f*cking cool. finally i have found someone who thinks just like me, & it's so mf refreshing 🥺🥺
Samee, i wanna be friends with her
Manifest it ?
That fact that you demand to be heard is a blessing to all of us because your insights are truly so complex and helpful and enlightening. The world shut me up a long time ago with the social abuse/neglect, despite the fact that I KNOW I have real game to spit too. I'm trynna be like you
Same. Im inspired by her
This is (at this point) the most intelligent presentation of societal perception vs. self awareness I have heard.
Continue to DIG INTO this Ma'am. As the kids say,
"I am here for it. Period."
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
you are my favorite content creator, you make me feel SO seen! I always thought i was crazy for thinking this way but you make feel like im not alone bestie. I totally understand not everyone gone get it and i gotta leave em behind
As a Hispanic girl I see you and I support you.
❤️
this was so deep and i related on so many levels even though i'm not 'not' the beauty standard, but as a black girl in africa, the gender roles thing is so true and i had literally heard my mom say the example you gave and it blew my mind
I share so many of the same frustrations as you, and I'm known in my family for always being really outspoken and unique ig for lack of a better word, but I'm a mixed person, and I grew up with other black girls and I feel like the frustrations that i have as someone who's half white couldn't even compare to yours and theirs and it's like no one sees your pain, so I'm really glad that you're a voice for darkskin/black women, its really admirable!!! I'm glad you're making videos like this that are more in-depth, you're one of my favorite creators and i wish the best for you :))
Please don’t wait til next year to post or whatever .. there r others that rly understand what you’re saying just bc we’ve experienced the same thing … I like the saying theres no knowledge without experience
" Your preferences are based off a checklist of oppression" Girlllll omg all the points
I resonated so hard with the statement about picking partners like a job as if it was a necessity! It's no longer something organic or natural just something forced and honestly, I can't do that... I will wait for the right person and I will not settle just because society expects me to be married by 25.
You’ve literally made me confident and open my eyes to ALOT a shi
I’ve always questioned whether or not love is even a real concept. With most relationships that are thriving today, if you take away something like sex, good looks, lust, money etc., then the whole house crumbles. And it crumbles FAST. Then the only question I’m left with is ‘Did they actually LOVE that person?..’ lol. I’m really starting to believe that love is very much a non-existent thing. Relationships have always been very much transactional no matter what anyone says.
I definitely relate to a lot of things your saying. Literally growing up I hated being seen as feminine because I felt that energy that beauty is all I had to bring. Especially as being a tall woman. Your helping me understand my self & experience more! Thank you Lip Gloss girlllly 💞
girl i’ve been watching you from the jump i know you gonna do big things
We blessed to be here so early
Focus on School, never looks
That's considered vanity which is useless
We are so lucky to be ugly women because men leave us alone and we can just focus on accolades, successful writer philosopher thinker!!!!!!
!!!!
Personality wise, You’re dammed If you do and dammed if you don’t.
If your quiet and chill somethings wrong.
If your loud and rambunctious somethings wrong .
If you talk “white” you’re ostracized.
If you talk “black” you’re considered ignorant.
It’s soo annoying .
I’ve gotten to the point where if you’re gonna say something slick about me you’re gonna have to explain yourself and we will see how it goes. Challenge accepted!
I’m tired of others treating people who are “DS BW and different “ badly!
Is this her real account??? I've been missing her TikTok 😭😞
Love you man I love you you’re so ideal. My sister and I are both dark skinned black girls we adore you and look up to you
What you said about dressing more modestly is exactly what I hear from a lot of Muslim women. They feel like people get to know THEM first. Who they are. How they think. And not just seeing a sex object
i think you are leaning towards such an existentialist way of thinking! this is so refreshing and liberating once everyone starts thinking this way
I love youuu
I’m loving these longer videos, gives me time to do my hair, wash my face, & get ready 💕 listening to the good word
Literally
I just want one person to care
‘That is not love that is oppression’ !!!!!! Wow love your content !!!!
thank you. this is such a good video, for real. this helped me realize so many things. I kept thinking that to attract a boyfriend, you had to look attractive, but like if someone just loves you for your body and not who you truly are on the inside, then what type of love is that? is it even worth attracting? these points are so enlightening
I hope you know how needed you are.
I’m so glad I get to hear more from you, thanks for making these videos. You’re amazing 🔥🔥
I don’t usually comment on TH-cam but I just wanna say I love your content and you have educated me on so many topics. Thank you
At the end when you said you had to drop your family,, I felt that.. it’s unfortunate but I’m better w/o them in my life for now ::/
Me and preferences don’t get along. My partner is the polar opposite of me in many ways style, music taste, and etc. I’m in love with her because I love her for who she is not because of how she looks and what she does or doesn’t have or do. I’ve been questioned about my relationship and it confuses me some of the questions asked by outsiders. Neither one of us conformed to standards, preferences, traditions and etc set up by others. So you snapped with this video and I fully feel the same way. I want to be listen to and seen for who I am not how others see and want me to be. ‼️‼️
Lipgloss you are literally the coolest, realest person on the internet. To disclose, I am a white girl. lol but besides that I wish I had people in my life like you. I watch most all of your videos, and although we live two completely different lives for obvious reason, everything you say remains so true and applies and it’s so refreshingly real. You’re perspective is based off of logic and experience and real shit and is admirable and applicable to my own white girl life. I know you don’t even need to hear this bc u know ur character and u know it’s dope, i just needed to express that to solidify that myself. thank you for everything u say and do u are so dope
I loveeee your content. You are absolutely correct. As a dark skinned woman myself, I know all too well about not being seen let alone heard. I am so proud of your journey.
Relationships shouldn’t be shallow, surface level &|or feel like a jail house . That’s ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP . Love isn’t physically or materialistically conditioned . I agree with you all the way girl ! But anywho you be speaking my mind & I appreciate that lmao
That whole you cover when you go outside made me smile a bit cuz as a muslim woman, when God revealed the verses about the veil, He specified covering the chesticies, to my limited knowledge along the same lines as you are say, so that one is not approached based on their physical endowments. I want to also say that you are doing such divine work. From a sister, I love you and sincerely wish u the best
that is not how the revealing of the verses on the veil went at all lmao
@@uwu-fm2kj lmfao I don’t think even “religious” people understand their “religion”. Just a mess ☠️
@@nycdyke2867 she literally said 'to my limited knowledge' and never claimed to be religious. let's not generalise all religious people as not understanding of their religion when 1. the commentator never claimed to be and 2. you haven't met every religious person in the world to make such a broad and assumptive statement.
@@nycdyke2867 she literally said to her “limited knowledge” lol read
Love your tiktoks. I’m in a similar place where I had to drop close people in my life. The only option is choosing yourself.
Heavy on “female-me” and I’m so tired.
Imagine hating on someone into a successful motivational career. You all that AND a bag uh chips ❤️
So inspired by how articulate, smart n thoughtful u are!! Loved all of your tt videos and I cannot wait to watch your yt videos now ur not bound by a small time limit. Could listen to u for hours
You are truly gifted, you’re outta this world. Your words penetrate me so deeply! 😭😭😭😭 your aura is so beautiful and so soft and light! I love you
The part when you said their not approaching me their approaching my ass girl jaw dropped like that is straight facts
"we are humans.... fighting for human rights"
I really appreciated this video and I can relate on sooooo many levels ... Keep doing your thing! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
I Wich I knew what love is earlier. You are soooooo on point. Please if any young girl is listening to this, rewatch it and study this video (especially girls of color, because sometimes we don't get any validation, so we hold on to any type that comes our way). I learned this the hard way!
so relatable especially when you’re not into the social media gimmicks like everyone else. being unauthentic is very normalized.
It feels like so many people want love and caring, but so few people are willing to or even know how to listen and care.
I relate to this because im autistic and I have always felt very misunderstood and people never listened to me or took me seriously whenever I express my opinion because apparently i'm seen as a dumbass or I dont know anything or too sensitive
"If the ass fall off tomorrow" LMFAOOOOO GIRL I LOVE YOU
Gay man Chris wants to work at target 😭
I miss lipgloss so much 😭😭
you literally change me. you’re like the older sister i always needed. thank you for your raw, open, honest advice. ❤️
I literally resonate with every single word thta comes out of your mouth like no joke or lie, Need more people like his in the world its sikk
I miss u so much girl ❤❤
You uploaded this on my bday 💕and the thing you said about relationships being forced feels so true. I've been in a relationship for 6 years and if I acted like him he would've BEEN broken up with me
I completely understand where you're coming from. Being your true and authentic self sets you up for rejection and loneliness. I'd rather be a hermit than to participate in an artificial world.
I hate she deleted a lot of her yt videos
COME BACK GIRLY
Let me go watch all your videos 😭. What you said about people not hearing you but hearing you with your physical description in mind first was so eye opening to me. Much love so glad I found you.
ngl you made me tear up a little dude😭 what you say in your videos are really impactful and it makes me feel seen. thank you for sharing your perspective, i feel like i'm learning a lot and you give me so much to reflect on and think about. you're doing amazing!!
You got me in my room dying. You are so funny😂😂 definitely Leo vibes. But fr you be hitting topics on they head
to answer the title... no... and I just realized this at 22.
Its times like this where you have to ask yourself do you even like them? Who the fuck are they to be judging you and to be the ones to validate you? YFM sometimes we need to step into our own power and let these people know who tf we are as a person. idk that's just me.
YESSSSS thissss.
thank you for this video, i've been feeling really lonely because nothing romantic has happened to me for a long while, and this really made me reevaluate
I literally love you g. Even as a dude I agree with your points most of the time
what you explained has been how i felt for a long long time. thank you. ive spent my life wanting to be preety and for somebody to tell me that and mean it but youre helping me understand that it doesnt matter at all. the thing that i truly wanted was to be heard.
3:55, as an arab it is so painstakingly true that it hurts
I love the aura you exude. Fuck the beauty standard. This video just gave me more insight on myself and what I want and expect from the people around me. Thank you for speaking your truth!
anyone know any good discord servers? black girls or poc based???
You are so intelligent and aware. May God bless you in abundance girly!!
YOU ARE so INTELLIGENT AND I HOPE YOU NEVER STOP SHARING TRUTH WITH THE WORLD. THEY MUST LISTEN TO WHAT WE FEEL AND HAVE TO SAY. WE WON'T BE SILENCED ANYMORE IN THE 2020's. LOVE YOU SIS, GOD BLESS!
WOW!!!!! I agree with absolutely EVERYTHING you have said . More people need to open up their eyes to these issues.
i feel real love and i express the love i feel for others,,, sadly most people don't get to experience receiving that, even if they are the most beautiful, most kindest, most sweetest people w the best personality
This might be weird but at a certain point I myself start feeling like picking and choosing even based on personality feels a little superficial. I can't really explain why but I feel like when I am exposed to someone who I think has potential it's like I get out the personality checklist instead of just feeling if I like them, and it seems weird to me even though I know that as long as I am not actually in love with somebody my best way to know if I think I could be, is based off of my preferences as far as their personality goes. Also if you don't do that who is to say that chemicals in your brain is not just for some reason making me crush on someone who will be no good for me in the long run.
Can somebody who is more emotionally intelligent than me please help me unpack this?
you're so comforting. i love you so much, don't stop posting!!
I didnt skip a single second,i love the way you talk so much.Youre literally so intelligent and actually opened my eyes and helped me think smarter,love you
“Paying attention to my ass” I’m dead 😂😂
ugh i totally get you. esp with the closeminded parents. they don't see me. they just see this this that on top of who i am. growing up with religious parents was such a misfortune.
Facts
like bruh you can't even enjoy someone's company without unconsciously going through those checklists.
Already one of my fav channels I’m so excited for everything you’ll post❤️
I'm so glad I came across you're page on Tik Tok because you really thought me a lot of stuff. I'm still 16 and I'm hoping to be a better overall person for myself and not let others minimize my worth.
Please put " I will be heard" on a t-shirt. I'm so glad I found your channel. Let me go re-download tiktok to watch your videos.