Child abuse destroys lives. My daughter's dad once told me" You overprotect her. Not everyone is bad " I said I know but I'd rather be wrong protecting her than be wrong by not doing so". He got my point. She's 5.
There is such a thing as being over protective. It's a fine line, a delicate balance. We can only do the best that we know how. God bless and watch over you and yours, Adriana.
There is NO such thing as being over protective!!!! Don’t believe anyone that tells you that. It is your responsibility as a parent to provide and PROTECT your children. Keep up the good work 🙏🏼❣️
Kids can develop psychological issues from being over-controlled. I've suffered from severe powerlessness leading to dependence, depression and anxiety issues for a lot of my teenage and adult life, and therapists have definitely traced back to upbringing. There's only a fine line between protecting your kids and controlling them. Kids need both guidance and freedom to develop into confident adults .
@@LastingHope yes, thanks for your reply. I think parents do walk a difficult line and you just have to do your best:) i do think teaching them, rather than feeding your own fears is good to be aware of. Take care x
Why do people press dislike on this? There is a woman telling her story which must be very hard for her... why do you dislike that? It doesnt make any sense to me at all. Thank you for sharing and bringing awareness Holly. You are a hero.
When I first started watching TH-cam videos (about 5 years ago) I oftentimes didn’t know whether to click on thumbs up or thumbs down, particularly on videos like this. I wanted to be supportive of the people telling their story, and to let them know I sympathized and wished them well. But it felt so crazy to be giving them the thumbs up, basically saying “Yay!” to such a horrible and sad story. I still have trouble with the concept. So I think most “thumbs downs” are due to the fact that this story is so sad.
@@synnove1046that’s cause your kinda dumb.. likes means I enjoyed the content or support it a person telling their story not that you like the trafficking
Perhaps the wrong video went into their feed or something. Maybe they're evil want to offend emotional viewers (dark trolls). Who knows? And who cares. Watch the video for yourself. That's more important.
Everyone failed her 😪 her parents, the police, even the social worker who she told about the abuse. She is so strong and she should be SO proud of herself. So brave to share her story. Glad she got out so quickly ❤
Research -Myths and Facts about women and children sex trafficking, headquarters is in Tucson Arizona, professor Richard Kellogg Jolly is the leader, law enforcement and system are trafficking, social workers, therapist, doctor's, Judge's , lawyer's even teacher's and preacher's. There is no safe place . In every state, community and neighborhood, it's global.
Yes, in some way, they did fail her...but...how many of us over the years truly understood the pure evil that exists in our world? People, normal people, tend to be naive and insular, viewing the world through the lens of there own experience rather than reality. In other words some people project what they want to see or they're too focused on themselves to discern the evil that lurks. If anything, her parents were guilty of just that, too self-absorbed to notice. Then they were more concerned about what people would have thought. Who amongst us hasn't done this? This is why God instructs mankind to be "self-less", loving our neighbor as ourselves. Seems as though we get the "loving ourselves" part down pat soon enough...its the "loving our neighbor" part that is lacking.
I'm not saying her experiences aren't awful..but honestly abuse stories are the hottest social media currency there is. We KNOW she will be applauded so does she. I genuinely am baffled by the "wow so brave" comments.
@@Candlewick14 People leave those types of comments, to give thanks to those who have actually came forward to talk about things that millions of other people will never talk about. Hopefully it gives strength to others to come forward, as well.
Oh, dear girl . I was never trafficked,, but only by the grace of God. Molested as a child (in the 50's and 60's.....waaay before children were taught about "bad touch"), lost as an adolescent, I got into drugs and alcohol, risky relationships, dangerous situations, and plenty of shame and bewilderment. Thank you for your work with vulnerable people, and educating us all to do better.
She mentioned “ back in my 20’s “ girl you look like you’re in your 20’s now. So beautiful. Sorry for all you went through but I agree your parents need to be held responsible.
I am amazed how articulate, insightful, caring and understanding you are, and I am quite shocked at how old you must be as you said 20 yrs later I thought you were only about 20 in the first place.Just to say if you were my daughter I would be very very proud of you may God bless you always.
I am a 65 yr. old lady who was molested by an uncle, I told my aunt and like your parents, was told to be quiet! I'm very happy to see these videos of girls/children/ladies sharing their stories! I have been married several times, have 3 beautiful kids, 6 grandchildren that I adore!! I live alone now on Disabilty because I always felt worthless, never felt loved or trusted anyone until my children came along! I knew they would love me unconditionally!
My mom is 60 and experienced abuse. She is an amazing mom in every sense but when talking to her about abuse that happened she still can't really understand what happened to my sisters who were abused. I always thought it was part of the cover it up, don't talk about it generation. We love her so much. Im sure your children love you dearly!!!
I pray you find your worth in Jesus Christ! He died on the cross for all of humanity’s sins because He loves us. He loves you and wants to heal and restore you. Let Him be your Father. For what He did for you is the very act of true and unconditional love. You’re beautiful! Praying for you!
I was molested by my uncle & my mom told me not to say anything, too. I can’t understand why parents would do that. Especially from a mother, aunt, or grandma.
@@harmonymomentofbeing5753 coming from experience, I felt like if I didn't fight for myself then who would. Society felled me too. The problem truly comes from that fact that there are way to many higher ups (the rich, government officials, teachers, cops, priests) that are like that. These people have the money &/or the clout to get away with it. Also adults don't listen to or believe children when they are told these things are happening. It's too hush hush. People shy away from talking about it too. My father molested me from 4-18. He wasn't high up but he did have respect in his community. I tried telling his mother, my grandmother, about what he was doing & all I got was "you must have misunderstood what he was doing". What!? There's no way to misunderstanding something like that! Talked to my school counselor, took forever for her to think about the fact that I might be telling her the truth! I told a very close friend. She had a cop in the family. The cop called CPS. CPS came to my house & asked me to "wait outside while we talk to your parents". What seemed like 30 minutes later they came out & got in their car & left. Not a word to me. My parents said they had no idea what I was talking about. The next time my father had me alone he beat me for saying something. He told me he would hurt my mother if I did it again. That was the end of that. If I didn't move out of that house as soon as I graduated it would have never stopped. It has been a slow hard road to recovery. People need to understand that kids may make up stuff in their heads but they can't make up something they know nothing about. So if your 5 years old says I don't like the way this person touches me (tickles me, hugs me, puts me on their lap, whatever) or I don't want to see or go to this person anymore, we MUST listen & investigate! These are our children! It's up to adults to protect children not to harm them! Kids are vulnerable but they can be strong too. A child could be going through a lot more than you might realize. They can hide a lot of pain before letting on. Parents MUST learn to ask uncomfortable questions. If we keep our mouths shut & pretend all is well & this could never happen to my child, then these sick creeps that pray on our children win! More needs to be done to these people as far as law is concerned also! A few years does nothing! Jail does nothing but give these creeps time to think about how they got caught & to not do that again! They don't get therapy & they are put right back on the streets to do it again. Having to file their names everywhere they live helps but it's not enough! Seriously, we as adults must protect our children & the only way to do that is to know the truth. No matter how hard of a subject it is to talk about, it is a MUST!!! Sorry, had to vent that I guess. Some people just really upset me with their comments lol when you're someone who has dealt with this in their lifetime, you get a little offensive about it. I just wish people would wake up & realize that there are a lot of sick people out there praying on our children & they don't give up! So neither can we!! 💜
My own sister won't speak to me because our Father molested me. My family told me not to talk about it and abandoned me because I was molested. It's traumatizing enough to be molested and to have zero support makes it more traumatizing. I am truly sorry for all you have endured and for anybody that has endured this abuse. My heart hurts for you and I mourn who I lost when that happened. I mourn all that is lost from sexual abuse assault. Abandonment and so much more. 💕💜💕
You have rights over your own self. That someone has chosen to abuse you is their problem not yours. Challenging to overcome, a step at a time. Good people will when you reach out to support group/s. Nor does the abuse define you. Just to be angry about this says you know the person who did this it is unacceptable. So many go through this and it is not on.
Same. I wasn't ok pretending my mother's husband didn't abuse me. My mother and sisters are good at sweeping it under the rug but it's so wrong. I have no family at all. It's been three years since I have seen or talked to them and that's perfectly fine with me. I have three kids to protect. Someday I hope to be brave enough to talk about my experience. You're not alone
It’s so horrendous that families are so unable to deal with the truth that they will allow the weight of something out of your control to be taken on your shoulders. Such cowardly hypocritical selfish parents. I feel for you and hope you have found your peace ❤️
Similar happened to me. My brother molested me and our father and our father's entire side of the family abandoned me. They've never spoken to me since. I have 4 kids now and none of them have met that side of my "family." Yet they have a relationship with my brother and HIS 4 kids. Just unreal. Still after 20 years, it blows my mind that when I finally found the courage to speak up and tell what happened, that I was punished for it by my own family.
@@maro7125 I've seen a lot of commenters on social media like Butch, claiming that women are lying. I would take his comments with a grain of salt. I'm sorry about what you went through but people and circumstances are different. Young people who have been abused, are fragile and they are easy targets for trafficking. It doesn't mean that all abused kids are ending up in trafficking.
She’s so well spoken and very obviously highly intelligent. Wishing her a complete healing and a happy satisfying life of loyal friendship and family! Thanks for sharing your story!
First off, as one fellow survivor to another, I am so sorry that happened to you. With that said, I know you love your parents, and I'm sure they are lovely people, but they really dropped the ball in their role as parents. Listening to your story, I am so thankful my parents not only believed me, they took action. No parent should ignore a child's pain to save others from discomfort. That's how pedophiles thrive, by other's complacency.
Because we don't equip them with the vocabulary to understand and articulate abuse. We don't teach them anatomically correct language, we don't teach them properly about personal boundaries, we don't teach them about body autonomy and personal agency. All cause we think we're protecting their innocence by avoiding talking about these things.
Nancy Murbach no necessarily true. My aunt taught her kids anatomy at age 3 and 4 and she taight boundaries. I learned from.them and i was 12! They may know the parts and the boundries but that doesn't solve the problem. In fact the boy molested his sister all her childhood. ..and she.didnt tell...until they were grown. I think knowing the parts made them curious. Best advice: read the Bible, be diligent, watch your kids. You are responsible!. After all the Bible does say "a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
shirley daughteroftheking and that’s is your take for sure on this. My take is that my daughter will learn to tell if something isn’t right, however I know myself and I wouldn’t allow her to be put in this type of situation ever. I’m just that type of mom and I lesson to my natural born mom instincts and I am also very empathic, so.. as I mentioned it is how I choose to raise my daughter.
It's a boomer parenting thing. They sucked as parents. To busy chilling or socializing. No supervision , no education of morals. Just sending kids to school and feeding them dinner.
And talk about sexual touches early enough her story is more similar to mine. My cousin brother molested me for 2 good years. It took me 2 decades to tell in him
@@neil_spirits2072 If I remember correctly, they got angry with her rather than the cousin. They told her not to discuss it and to lie when she was asked about it. While the cousins actions were horrific, her parent's response was unconscionable.
As a survivor of child sexual abuse, I would like to thank you for your bravery. Thank you for helping others find their true selves. I'm still working on it. Blessed be.
My step father molested me and my mom didn't want to here it, shortly after he passed away she asked me about it and all I could say was "now you want to know almost 30 yrs later, yes mom he molested me more than once".She just dropped her head in shame and said nothing.
The parents never wondered why their daughter had begged her so that she didn't have to go there. The alarm bells should ring! "They are great parents" I'm not sure about this.
they were young like she said and she tried to honor them, I respect her for that and even more so for telling her story. some parents are just young and ignorant
Honestly? I think they knew and perpetuated it. I wouldn't be surprised if they were part of some sex trafficking ring. What parents go out for entire weekends at a time, leaving their children behind on the regular. That just does not happen. They were up to something or doing something on those weekends and pretended like they were just out partying. And the fact they got angry with her for telling the counselor is a red flag if I've ever seen one.
They knew. She said herself she told her mom. They KNEW long before she told them anything. Until she confronts them for their huge part in this happening to her she wont TRULY, FULLY HEAL.
No it isn't... you simply have to listen to your children. She told her parents she didn't want to go they should have asked why and listened and reported her cousin. That is where they failed not for having a social life.
@lia lorenzo wtf man go get help. Youre clearly not in the right headspace. What the other commentator said was true, you can absolutely give your child the adequate attention while still maintaining a social life. Calm down lmao
R SR exactly.. Parents can still have a social life. I was molested as a child my mom listened to me and stopped it never once told me not to talk about it again. I have 2 boys and my husband and I still did things with our friends. I didn’t just let anyone watch them I was very careful and I didn’t leave with anyone but my mom, or sisters until they were old enough to talk. I also taught them at young age that no one touches them etc.. I just think parents have to be aware.
She needs to forgive so she will be set free from the torment she thinks about everyday when she doesn't forgive them. God says to forgive, so that he will also forgive our sins. It doesn't mean what they did was OK, it totally wasn't. But God will hold her parents accountable. Her job is to forgive, heal and try to move on with her life.
Fuck your parents... mine were the same with me and disowned them at 22. The relief of never having to deal with them or have them manipulate me has no words to describe
Having faced childhood sexual abuse myself, you never blame the parent when you are younger, after I was in my teens I could better equip myself to fight off the abuse. But I still loved that parent to the day they died. Then a relationship with Christ gave me the ability to forgive. I finally found someone who gave me worth, that is Christ in me the hope of Glory! The forgiveness was not instant but over time I did and it freed me from the prison I was held in all those years.
All parents / guardians/ women living alone/ have teenagers/ their children living away please read life saving n changing books called Protecting the Gift and fear Less by Gavin De BECKER.
When I was around 12 in the late 80's two 30ish women approached me and complemented me about my look, insisted that I sit with them and talk. I did and they wanted me to come live with them. They were telling me how hard it is living with parents and how they took in kids that run away and let them drink, smoke pot and how fun they were. They gave me their phone # and said they'd come get me anytime if my home life ever got bad. I kept the # for yrs and almost called many times. Pretty sure they were looking for kids to pimp out. I'm glad I had a weird feeling about calling them. My home life was bad but I'm sure it would've been tragic if I ran away to them. Her name was Maude.
If you still have the number, perhaps you can provide it to your local children's advocacy organization, who may be able to share it with law enforcement, which may be able to do a reverse directory search of who owned the landline account at tfe time. Could be helpful. I'm guessing being 30 years on you don't have the number any longer
Yes the system failed! They arrest the victim and ignore the slave trader then fail to provide support services for the underage abused child forced into prostitution/slavery. Some of the cops patrolling the areas probably get paid off with sex from the child slaves for the pimps protection omg so messed up.
I agree! Can't the officers see how traumatized and emotionally manipulated they are? Can't they see that someone did that TO them and not done it to themselves?
@@TanyaKatherine I would say no. A lot of police officers have some form of adaptive psychopathy that comes with the position, which lowers their empathy (empathy does not come in handy when you need to potentially fight whoever you come into contact with at your job)
While in the US Army not quite 18 and stationed in San Antonio Texas, I was nearly kidnapped and sex trafficked. While walking off base with a few other army girls, a guy, young and handsome with a nice car stopped and talked to us. During this stop he asked if I would like to go out on a date and I said yes...yes..I was young, dumb and stupid...the next day he picked me up for this date. He said I have a six pack, let's have a beer over in the park..i agreed, there was people around and I felt okay about it. We.sat in this small gazebo. He was being charming, sweet and attentive. A few times he said let me see your beer and shook the can a little and said oh you have a bit more, here drink it up, I'm ahead of you... Well anyway after that beer he said lets go for a ride before we go out..during that ride I started to feel funny...really strange...my mind started reeling, my heart started racing like I was on speed. RIGHT THEN I REALIZED HE HAD PUT SOMETHING IN MY DRINK!! Even though I was so young..i instinctively knew NOT TO ACT ANY DIFFERENT and to not ask anything about the drink. But inside myself I was scared as hell. While we were riding down the multi road highway thru the city, he says as he is pulling into this hotel or motel, I have to stop here for a minute, I will be right back out but by this time I knew he was lying and no way was he or anyone else going to get me in that hotel...so I said to myself when he gets out his side, then I will get out my side and we will have the car between us..so as soon as that happened and he seen me get out to..he started chasing me around the car but he could not catch me then I took off to run across the multi road highway, 3 lanes each side to get to a donut shop, I ran in and tried to get someone to help me but I literally could not talk, get full words out because of the drug he gave me..well in the end a police man and woman put me in the back of their car, still couldn't talk but all of a sudden I came down from the drug and could talk almost like a monotone voice and told them everything that happened. They said " Young lady..you are very lucky. The drug this man put in your beer was most likely amphetamines. Alot of young girls have been coming up missing here, from what we are finding out they are being kidnapped and sex trafficked in these hotels and sold and transported all around the United States. I thank God for not being a victim and disappearing like so many have. This was in the beginning of the year 1980.
Thank the Good Lord that you escaped. It seems as if you had an instinctive sense of danger that was activated and it saved your life. I hope many young women and even young men.... as I think there are also those who prey on boys... will take note and be careful... never get into a strangers car...
You're a very fortunate lady. Fear can either freeze or motivate you. You chose the later. Fear is the beginning of wisdom is applied knowledge is the enemy of fear.
This is one of the saddest, most horrific true stories I have ever heard in my life and I am NOT young! Holly, you are so articulate, so kind-hearted. I pray our God will hold you and support you all the days of your life from here on out....
Most parents would be alarmed at their kid's reaction. If not raising red flags it should at least prompt them to start asking questions. That her parents didn't react speaks volumes about them.
Very well articulated Holly. I'm confused about why you think your parents were so great, when clearly they weren't: farmed you out to relatives/ didn't spot abuse/ told you never to mention abuse/ told you to lie to social worker!!! They set you up for a fall and were utterly selfish. You, however, are an inspiration DESPITE your family.
whiteyho123 maybe she has chosen forgiveness for her mental health. it sounds like she a knowledges shortcomings and is appreciating the good qualities they have.
SootyIsMyCat123 Your understandable comments are a sign of an intelligent, undamaged person; I know it's difficult for you to understand how this girl got caught up and eventually did the things she did, but that's because none of us can really understand another persons path in life, or the affect's the things that happen to others, has upon them, and also, because we are all different, things affect everyone of us in different ways. We should all thank our lucky stars if we believe these things can't happen to others unless they allow them to, because this shows the difference in the lives we've been lucky enough to live, and how we've been able to analyse and react to different circumstances, which has, fortunately, prevented us becoming victims of those things we believe are so easily avoided. We must never judge, we must simply support, love, and care, that way, our behaviour may be noticed, and hopefully, victims like this will seek our protection, rather than continue down a terrible path. Each day, the more I read, the more I realise how sick and dangerous the world really is; only recently I stumbled over the Jimmy Savile story, which then led me to what they call Pizza Gate, and from there to the illuminate, and NXIVM, all of which saddened and horrified me, creating a very different perspective of just how unsafe it is out there for children and young girls.
Sooty: I agree, but that story probably goes 'way' deeper. I will almost bet that her mom had been raped as a child, but still, they should have done that which was needed to be done, NOT hid it (because they didn't want the neighbors to know- for it to get out), etc., etc... I'm just glad that she made it, many don't.
I agree; but it doesn't take a crack investigator to spot child abuse. It takes some compassion. I guess they are overwhelmed with the number of "street kids". After a while; it's business as usual?
@@reneepierce966 I know for fact that’s true ! They all know what goes on from the fellow officers to the judges to the DA to the lawyers and even drs and teachers and preachers !
The only reason she gave up her real name is because he was a little rough with her, she said so herself. Who knows where she would be now if he hadn’t done that. Maybe she’s mad at the cop still, but I believe he was 100% right to do that.
I can't believe the way the officer treated you - and how compassionate you are by saying he just didn't have the right training. You are one strong woman for sure - thank you for telling your story. These things need to stop!
Wow, way to go "parents"!! I would never call myself a perfect mom, but give me a friggin break!! I hope their nights out were worth it! Scumbags. This strong woman wasn't even rebellious- she wanted out from her house and I would've too! It's amazing how well she turned out, and I'm sure it was the opposite of easy. She also isn't delivering a "poor me" message. This is a commendable, heroic woman and should be so proud of herself. What a true inspiration.
Lucy LaRoux Yes and Miss Van DerBur, the Miss America lady whose story was so helpful and so miraculous? She faced and stated what her mother was because you cant dismiss the enabling she did. This girl musnt cover for her mother.
I hAVe 2 daughters lucy ..23 and 21 now....and i remember when they were growing up (my son too)and i asked them ...im not exagerating every day more or less if everything was ok ...and wud say to them "dont matdr what ever the prob dad will fix it...i wudda spotted a look in them that this girl must have had....im very protective over my kids...when they go out drinking now..they wont even tell me if anything happened cos i go looking for the culprit....being a nightclub doorman makes me a bit paraniod too liike..cos i see how wicket kids are to each other.
Lucy LaRoux sorry this happens a lot and to a lot of different children from diff types of parents. Let us know when you raise your kids 100% pure and perfect
Even when grown women are hookers, and people say "they are adult it's their choice"; I think in 99% of the cases, these women have poor boundaries because they have been abused. No one really chooses that lifestyle if they know any better and they have healthy self-esteem.
What do you say about the women that were not abused, and they choose to sell themselves for money to buy drugs? There are some women that weren’t abused growing up and out of desperation, like feeding their children make a choice to make fast cash. Or the younger women that weren’t sexually abused growing up, but watched their mother live that lifestyle and they choose to live like that too? There isn’t always just black and white. Look further, and you might just expand your mind.
@@babypenelope6432 Rude to infer the person who posted might expand her mind. Okay, so you know more...but none of us know what we don't know. I know of high class prostitutes, wealthy 'business' women and men who are highly articulate and not ashamed...nor are the people, some married who, like the prostitute use, misuse and abuse each other and think they're kosher... without fault. Just as ugly without the trauma and wrong decisions of others who got to the same place but suffered for it more than even you could know, or imagine.
manic hairdo lmfao! I asked some questions to gain information and I see what you’re doing is just causing trouble. Did you get beat up a lot in school? If not, that’s too bad.
From first hand experience, it's not easy to do! She is very strong & brave! So proud of her! And others like her that speak up so we can finally put a stop to these disgusting acts!
I love holly , I got to sit and talk with her some when she spoke at a survivors awareness function . She is the bravest person , so humble and so living and lovable . It’s always been so crazy to me how strong these women are and having one convo with them it’s like they are giving u strength and they don’t even know the positive influence they have just telling their stories . We love u and ty for ALL u have done and continue to do ! ❤️
A lot of practices in psychology are very shady and psychotropic drugs mess people up. Counseling other people is appropriate but medication and injection is crossing the line. Matthew 24:15 When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place, (whoso readeth, let him understand:) I believed for the longest time that psychology is the abomination that causes desolation spoken of by Daniel. The amount of damage, human torture and trauma caused by psychology alone is greater than slavery, human traffick and all other tortures on people known in modern society. Sad thing is that psychology is legal.
Jules Vules it depends on the one doing the counseling and you cannot write off all medications. Should someone with bipolar not take meds ? God is the healer let’s leave the method to Him
Having been molested myself... I can tell you that if you don't face the pain and grieve it, it will always be with you. Working through it little by little with a counselor who deals in such things, journaling, etc. has made a huge difference in my life.
I ve experienced the same.....the trauma followed me...anxiety and depression...I had councelling many years, now I feel good about myself and love myself unconditionally.
The problem with all such traumas is the victim gets stuck in the past. No different than the soldier traumatized on the battlefield, trying to fit back in to "normal" society. As a child, when I got injured, the dispensing of love and empathy from an adult swallowed up the event, and brought me to the present. Too many people live in the past, and too many involved in one kind of cult or another, too involved in the future. Be there--in the "now" Be attentive Be honest Believe and achieve Let go of the outcome
No Sue it doesn't ever go away I was sexually abused as well you block it out but it still come's back and haunt's you!! I am truly sorry you went through this 😔
@Sound of Jesus that's true, it's the demons inside a person who influence people to do and say things. They can only be set free from demons by Jesus.
Holly, you are such a smart and beautiful person, thank you for having the courage to share your story and that you weren't satisfied with the system and how they leave victims without any proper counseling or avenues to repair their lives. You are a wonderful young woman and an inspiration for healing.
I've never written about this before. I'm not sure why I feel compelled to share this here and it probably doesn't matter much anyway all these years later but maybe the exercise of writing it out, confessing in a way that it did happen to me will somehow be healing to me, or maybe be helpful to someone else who might find this and read it. I just want to say that whenever I hear survivor stories like Holly's in this video, I think wow I'm so lucky and so glad that nothing like this never happened to me. And then I remember. I think a lot of women have stories like this to tell but how do we do it? It seems easier to leave it all buried and just go forward so I don't think about these events in my past very often but sometimes when I see a picture of me as a child, I feel sorry about what happened to that little girl who was me. And I get frustrated that the feeling of not being believed still lingers and that it should have never happened, I should have been able to trust enough to tell the truth, and been loved enough to have been believed. And that I still question why and why not? And I wonder if I would have become a different person without these experiences, either a better person with more confidence, self esteem, ability to trust and have a joy for life, or maybe am I actually stronger than I would have been because of them? Or in spite of them? I wonder if I have an inner strength like Holly seems to have but I just don't develop it because I still hide what happened to me. Not sure if I will ever know any of those answers either. When I was about 5, the next door neighbor girl - her name was Terri and maybe she was about 12 or 14? - babysat me and my little sister. We would pretend I was in trouble and she had to punish me and spank me with various things - her hand, a wooden spoon, a strap - and she said if I told she would do it to my sister. She would slap my sister's hands until she cried. My sister would have been only 3 or 4. I remember feeling like I had to protect her so I let Terri spank me. She also would tuck me in and put me in my mom's bed and we would lay side by side, I had clothes (pajamas?) on but she would get under the covers with me with her clothes on, and she would kiss me on the mouth which felt very weird being kissed by someone not my parents or grandparents, and her breath was warm and smelled not bad but just different than mine and her lips were thin and dry, and her arms had bumpy skin and it all felt wrong but I told myself it was because she liked me more than she liked my sister, and that she was my friend. She would let me wear her long blue dress and we would dance around and sing to the Bay City Rollers song Saturday Night. I felt special, like she thought I was her little sister. I remember one time when I was in the bathtub. I was on my stomach swimming and my mom saw bruises on my bum and asked me what they were from. I remember twisting around so I could see my back side and seeing the bruises. I remember thinking Terri would get in trouble so I looked up at my Mom and told her I fell down. I remember hoping she could tell I was lying so she would know what really had happened without me having to actually tell on Terri. But she kept asking about it, how did it happen so I finally told my parents the truth that Terri had spanked me. So they had Terri come over and I had to stand there in front of them and tell her what I said and she lied! she said I had fallen off my bike and that I was lying. And they asked me if this was true, and I remember looking at them, and knowing they didn't believe me. So I just said yes I had made it up. Then they made me go next door and tell her parents I had made it up and apologize to them for lying. I remember Terri's mom telling her dad to come into the living room from the kitchen and she made Terri's siblings go upstairs. They had one of those rickety circular black iron stair cases that I was afraid to go on because I always worried it would come detached from the ceiling and fall and there was an opening to the upstairs and I knew they were listening. Her parents sat on the couch and I stood in front of them and confessed and they stared at me. I remember Terri's mom lecturing me about how bad I was that I had lied to get Terri in trouble and how disappointed everyone was. I was 5 years old! I know this because we moved away when I was 6. And up until we moved, Terri still babysat us and we would go next door to her house and play just like nothing had ever happened. So it must have been when I was 6, I remember playing in a garden shed in their back yard. It was white metal with rusty spots and had no windows and it was hot and smelled like grass clippings. For some reason, along with the lawnmower and tools and bikes, it had a mattress (or maybe it was a long lawn chair cushion?) with that grey and white striped mattress cover fabric with the little buttons. I remember we would go in there and play house. Her brother was named Dean. And Terri made us go in there together, and I remember being on that mattress, and then I remember the door being hard to slide open and walking out but I really can not remember what happened while we were in there together. When I think of it, its just a fuzzy blank so maybe nothing happened more than two kids being locked in a shed together but I just don't know which makes me wonder if I block it out? Or I was lucky and nothing happened? If something happened, wouldn't I remember it better? Or it's better I don't so I can tell myself it was some game like seven minutes in heaven and nothing happened. Which is mostly what I tell myself... but there's always that slight lingering doubt. When I think about these memories and some other things that have happened in my life, I think where were my parents?! Why was I even in compromising situations? I know I was very lucky and I somehow avoided a lot of trauma and the heartache so many people are faced with. Maybe it's made me learn to be more cautious and why I try to help when I see a problem. Like when I started working at Taco Bell. One of my co-workers was this cool girl and she invited me to a party. I was 17, never had been to party, and I thought that would be fun since I had just graduated and I was independent now. It was at someone's apartment. There were a lot of people, and they were older, and smoking, and drinking, and doing drugs. When I realized my new friend was acting weird, I figured out she was doing drugs too and she said it was something called Crank. She also said her boyfriend kept fighting with her and was always disappointed with her that she "didn't move right" when they had sex, which surprised me that they had had sex, and apparently he also didn't care if she slept with his friends. She also told me she had ran away from home and was living with him. I decided she couldn't stay there with him and left the party and brought her home with me. She was very wasted and wouldn't/couldn't sleep and kept wandering around my house so I stayed up all night with her trying to keep her quiet until my parents woke up in the morning. They were mad and apparently rescuing a girl has consequences so they made me go to work even though I had not slept, and I didn't drink or do any drugs, and I thought I had done the right thing but it felt like a punishment knowing my sister got to go with my dad driving the 4 or 5 hours to take her to her parent's house on the other side of the state, and they wouldn't let me go with them. My dad said they dropped her off and turned around and came home. I have no idea what happened to her. She never came back to work. And I didn't admit to people that it was my fault. I wonder if she went back to more of the same troubles, or if she reconciled with her parents, or took the opportunity and changed her life. I wonder if she hated me or was glad to have gotten out of there. I realized that just a few different choices could have sent me down a very similar path like what she was on, and I knew I didn't want that. So it's been a few decades, and I've had lots of various life experiences. Overall I have lived a relatively uneventful drama free and safe adult life. I'm pretty cautious and do try to avoid things, people and situations that might bring a lot of the risks and problems that cause such heartaches but a person can't avoid all the bad in the world. Sometimes we don't have a choice, things happen to us. The things we can control with our choices have such an impact going both ways, positive or negative, intended or not, and we learn that almost always many things could be a lot better and also many things could be a lot worse. In many instances I feel honesty that I was protected by God. I have no idea why terrible things happen to some people and not to others. Or why some people are destroyed and others triumph. I feel like I was very lucky and blessed to have made it through so I'm not complaining but I hope someday all these things will make sense. I would like to understand it all and feel ok with myself and my life, and the people in my life that let me down, and let go of the confusion, disappointment and sadness that still lingers. I still have trust issues both with trusting too much and not enough, and both with others and myself. And I can realize that so many who hurt others must also hurting themselves, so I forgive my parents, and Terri, and everyone else that I need to and not just for them, but for me so someday I can heal and be whole. I sincerely hope that all people of all ages who are hurting and struggling and being abused are able to find a way out, and a way to forgive so they can heal and mend their hearts, and learn to trust, most of all learn to forgive and trust themselves, and then to triumph. I hope we all find abundant happiness and let go of all sadness. This life is hard, but life is good. Most people are good. God bless us all.
I think there are many reasons looking back clearly is so difficult, but also rewarding. Suppression is a defense but it can prevent moving forward as a whole. I pray for your healing and that your abuser hasn’t hurt others!
@Sound of Jesus then you should know we all need to go to Christ as little children,we all need direction and love from one another bit we are a broken society and love is not the theme of our communities,hate and violence begets hate and violence...It is very hard to be the one to stop it and return love for hate so that the cycle can be reversed or put to an end.
So much trauma perpetrated against this vibrant, lovely woman. The adults in her life, who were charged with protecting her and looking out for her best interest, failed horribly. What an incredible example of resilience.
Thank You SO very much for sharing your story. We all HAVE to learn to fight to END this insidious crime that IS continuing because of the ignorance of those who may have helped if more education was mainstream and up front for everyone to learn from a young age!!!! Thank You!!! May your life be empowered and wonderful from now to forever!!!YOU ARE STRONG!!! THANK YOU!!! 💜 Shelley
Holly, you are stronger than you know. Some of us are still silent. The police when I tried made me feel like I was the problem and scared me. I just pushed through, but I'm not well. I'm 37 and still stuck in those years emotionally. Watching things like this helps so much. Thank you.
The cousin was most likely a victim. The family sounds like multi-generational incestuous one. Normal parents wouldn't behave as Holly's did. She is amazing and so beautiful!
What an incredible woman she is . I can't help thinking had her mother not covered up the abuse things would of turned out differently . Her mum should of took it to the police . But good on holly for her forgiveness . These are the real life miracles . I wish trafficking was a thing of the past but sadly it's not . Good luck holly 😘
I loved hearing your story, Holly. Thank you for being so brave and putting it out on the Net so others can open up about their painful circumstances as well. Evil has many tentacles, and it can scar a young person for life, can't it?
Abused children are often groomed by their parents, or an older sibling, to protect everyone in the family but themselves. So eloquent and brave, thankyou for sharing.
I will never understand why authority figures think it's a good idea to go question the parents or abuser if they aren't going to take the child with them when they leave also. Bc the authority figure will go home and sleep great and continue to live their normal life however that child is now going to be hurt even worse more than likely for telling. I'll never understand that.
i don’t think social workers think it’s a good idea-it’s what government policy mandates. what child can disclose if they don’t know they’re going to be kept safe?
Holly, you are beautiful and strong and courageous and smart and wonderful! It is so terrible what you went through. You didn’t deserve that! I hope the rest of your life is wonderful!
Lovin'Life2016 It seems a few pple don't understand your comment, to bad, so sad for them. I agree with you 100%. Children are God's blessing and gift to us. They are given to us to love and protect They are our future.
Thank you Holly Austin Smith for being so articulate and open to sharing your story. I had to watch this in segments just to digest it all. I can tell you have the "writer" talent because you explain things so well & concisely and with warmth. You definitely have the "gift" of telling/explaining/teaching. I wish this vid to get maximum exposure.
oh Holly beautiful darling sweet little girl. I wish i could hug you and adopt you when you were little and protect you 💗 from your hideous mother and father and cousin. You deserve a great life. You are awesome 💟
Desiree Mcpherson oh wow I hope u guys will be on a easy path from now on and many good things come your way! Im 34 just turned ,i wont be having children of my own but i hope i will be in a situation to be able to help as many as I can I just don't know where to begin well as a victim of abuse and sexual abuse I'm beginning just now to work on myself and my healing(only realized it recently what a big hold it has on me) but I so hope to be able to help as many children as I can! So thank you and people like u!!! U inspire me! ✌️💗🙏🙂
Her parents are hideous? WAKE UP! Many, far too many people are shackled by shame or perceived shame. That doesn’t make it OK it’s simply how it is for many people. Even in 2019 I know families that NEVER “air their dirty laundry” NO MATTER what it is. It was like that in my childhood. Definitely the opposite once we had children. A problem shared is sometimes essential to finding the best solution. Kids will often try anything to avoid things. Mostly it’s trivial, sometimes it’s not. Holly doesn’t mention telling her father, just her mum. Who knows if they talked about it? Who knows if what Holly was experiencing was a trigger of abuse the mother may have had? A “trigger” will often immobilise a person. Does that make her a bad Mum? Whilst kind,your desire to protect Holly is nice & utterly irrelevant. She doesn’t need your protection. She’s a survivor & like most of us, gobsmacked to know she wasn’t alone, even though she felt she was. Oh the holier than thou judgement of others.
So much I can relate too. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I told someone; a teacher I revered and trusted. Several years later I found out that she had told other teachers and said to them she thought I made it all up for attention. I was floored! It made me so angry it took many more years before I could ever trust anyone again. Years and years, layer by layer peeled away by myself, and probably the greatest help was reading thousands of stories of others who were sexually abused. I am 73 today, and it has been a long road , but I'm free; and I am in a very good place and position to help others.
I never ever comment on videos, but you are so brave and strong to share your story! This could be any child! And the fact that you learned so much from this and are willing to share it is encouraging for all of us, how you made sense from your own history is just beautiful, you will help sooo many!
Your story is so powerful. What an amazing and strong woman. Everybody around you failed you, but you came out on top even with all the struggles you had to face. and yes, your parents should have been there for you. They seemed more worried about your cousin getting into trouble then protecting you!
Half of the problem is people saying that anybody else but the monster is the monster... they never really have to take responsibility her parents would never do that to a child could never fathom it like she said wasn't equipped to even think that way of course especially back then...... but they're the problem not the monsters?!? this is called blaming the victim
The real problem was the perverted creep who repeatedly molested this girl and the trafficker. The parents let her down in supervising, getting therapy and defending their child.
Because that man told her he reminded her of his granddaughter makes me think he did something to his granddaughter because that is just sick to say that and then proceed to do your nasty with the kid. Smh. I never was traffic but I have been molested and raped and manipulated so many times and when I finally spoke out, I didn't get the help I needed. Now older and listening to others is helping me to heal.
@@meghanc5793 Really. He certainly didn't heal my sister after 10 yrs of rape. I think Jesus did all the healing when he created the saints and popes and inquisitioners.
What terrible, terrible parents... Her story is very interesting, sorry sombody didn't ask her some questions for clarification on certain issues. Very nice and smart person you are, Holly!
I'm so proud of you for having the courage to speak your truth. The system failed you. I'm so sorry for the pain and wounds you have had to face and heal. I'm so thankful you are courageous and whole enough to tell your story.
Child abuse destroys lives. My daughter's dad once told me" You overprotect her. Not everyone is bad " I said I know but I'd rather be wrong protecting her than be wrong by not doing so". He got my point. She's 5.
There is such a thing as being over protective. It's a fine line, a delicate balance. We can only do the best that we know how. God bless and watch over you and yours, Adriana.
There is NO such thing as being over protective!!!! Don’t believe anyone that tells you that.
It is your responsibility as a parent to provide and PROTECT your children.
Keep up the good work 🙏🏼❣️
Kids can develop psychological issues from being over-controlled. I've suffered from severe powerlessness leading to dependence, depression and anxiety issues for a lot of my teenage and adult life, and therapists have definitely traced back to upbringing. There's only a fine line between protecting your kids and controlling them. Kids need both guidance and freedom to develop into confident adults .
lightawake thanks for the explanation. You are right. But if I error, I’d rather error on being over protective...
@@LastingHope yes, thanks for your reply. I think parents do walk a difficult line and you just have to do your best:) i do think teaching them, rather than feeding your own fears is good to be aware of. Take care x
Why do people press dislike on this? There is a woman telling her story which must be very hard for her... why do you dislike that? It doesnt make any sense to me at all. Thank you for sharing and bringing awareness Holly. You are a hero.
Is pressing dislike about the person? Or the unlikable tragedy of her story?
Every video gets dislikes, even cat videos. You just have to ignore it
When I first started watching TH-cam videos (about 5 years ago) I oftentimes didn’t know whether to click on thumbs up or thumbs down, particularly on videos like this. I wanted to be supportive of the people telling their story, and to let them know I sympathized and wished them well. But it felt so crazy to be giving them the thumbs up, basically saying “Yay!” to such a horrible and sad story. I still have trouble with the concept. So I think most “thumbs downs” are due to the fact that this story is so sad.
@@synnove1046that’s cause your kinda dumb.. likes means I enjoyed the content or support it a person telling their story not that you like the trafficking
Perhaps the wrong video went into their feed or something. Maybe they're evil want to offend emotional viewers (dark trolls). Who knows? And who cares. Watch the video for yourself. That's more important.
That's why I always say don't ever leave the kids somewhere if they don't want to stay no matter what
💯✅
Yep
EXACTLY.
What about that young children or even adults who have such severe disabilities they can't even state that they don't want to be around someone?
All parents / guardians please read live saving n changing books called Protecting the Gift and fear Less by Gavin De BECKER.
Everyone failed her 😪 her parents, the police, even the social worker who she told about the abuse.
She is so strong and she should be SO proud of herself. So brave to share her story. Glad she got out so quickly ❤
Research -Myths and Facts about women and children sex trafficking, headquarters is in Tucson Arizona, professor Richard Kellogg Jolly is the leader, law enforcement and system are trafficking, social workers, therapist, doctor's, Judge's , lawyer's even teacher's and preacher's. There is no safe place . In every state, community and neighborhood, it's global.
I am amazed how some girls going through stories like this develop incredible character and strength. Thank you for your testimony.
I was thinking the same thing. Some of us come out so strong & others fall down every crack!
Yes, in some way, they did fail her...but...how many of us over the years truly understood the pure evil that exists in our world? People, normal people, tend to be naive and insular, viewing the world through the lens of there own experience rather than reality. In other words some people project what they want to see or they're too focused on themselves to discern the evil that lurks. If anything, her parents were guilty of just that, too self-absorbed to notice. Then they were more concerned about what people would have thought. Who amongst us hasn't done this? This is why God instructs mankind to be "self-less", loving our neighbor as ourselves. Seems as though we get the "loving ourselves" part down pat soon enough...its the "loving our neighbor" part that is lacking.
Amen to That
It was the only way we could survive
I believe it's more than 'Stories Like This'.
It's a life like this.
This young woman is so brave. I'm so glad that she has the strength to share her story.
I have to say that yoù hàvè really been through one HELL of a LOT !!!!🤔
9⁹pp
lila Harkins,,,,,,,,, this young WOMAN TRUELY is very strong.... GOD BLESS HER!!!!!
I'm not saying her experiences aren't awful..but honestly abuse stories are the hottest social media currency there is. We KNOW she will be applauded so does she. I genuinely am baffled by the "wow so brave" comments.
@@Candlewick14 People leave those types of comments, to give thanks to those who have actually came forward to talk about things that millions of other people will never talk about. Hopefully it gives strength to others to come forward, as well.
"Lack of validation" - that's it. That really helped me articulate some of my past.
Same here.
same for me
Same
Me too. It was like a lightbulb turned on and a door was opened. I was meant to see this video
When we are not validated, we learn to "not trust ourselves". Amazing how when someone tells their story we can see ourselves in some way. It helps.
Oh, dear girl . I was never trafficked,, but only by the grace of God. Molested as a child (in the 50's and 60's.....waaay before children were taught about "bad touch"), lost as an adolescent, I got into drugs and alcohol, risky relationships, dangerous situations, and plenty of shame and bewilderment. Thank you for your work with vulnerable people, and educating us all to do better.
Praying for you! Jesus is our redeemer! He will make all things new!
@@meghanc5793 amen
So the grace of god stopped you from being trafficked but allowed you to be molested? As per usual your god watched and did nothing.
@@meghanc5793 Jesus never protected her.
Same here.We are survivers.
She mentioned “ back in my 20’s “ girl you look like you’re in your 20’s now. So beautiful. Sorry for all you went through but I agree your parents need to be held responsible.
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face😊
I am amazed how articulate, insightful, caring and understanding you are, and I am quite shocked at how old you must be as you said 20 yrs later I thought you were only about 20 in the first place.Just to say if you were my daughter I would be very very proud of you may God bless you always.
You spoke so articulately!! Sending you positive vibes. You didn’t deserve anything that happened to you.
You are so bright! And, strong! I am so sorry for the past that you were dealt, but you persevered!
Wow, now I understand the fear of authority. I never pieced it together with the lack of validation. I thank you profoundly.
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face😊
I am a 65 yr. old lady who was molested by an uncle, I told my aunt and like your parents, was told to be quiet! I'm very happy to see these videos of girls/children/ladies sharing their stories! I have been married several times, have 3 beautiful kids, 6 grandchildren that I adore!! I live alone now on Disabilty because I always felt worthless, never felt loved or trusted anyone until my children came along! I knew they would love me unconditionally!
My mom is 60 and experienced abuse. She is an amazing mom in every sense but when talking to her about abuse that happened she still can't really understand what happened to my sisters who were abused. I always thought it was part of the cover it up, don't talk about it generation. We love her so much. Im sure your children love you dearly!!!
I hope you love yourself as well.
Even at 65, you can learn to take your power back and discover your worth! I’m sure you are a loving, wonderful person!
I pray you find your worth in Jesus Christ! He died on the cross for all of humanity’s sins because He loves us. He loves you and wants to heal and restore you. Let Him be your Father. For what He did for you is the very act of true and unconditional love.
You’re beautiful! Praying for you!
I was molested by my uncle & my mom told me not to say anything, too. I can’t understand why parents would do that. Especially from a mother, aunt, or grandma.
I feel like so many people failed you and you still manage to break out and come out strong.
There’s a point we reach where we realize we have to fight for ourselves .
@@harmonymomentofbeing5753 coming from experience, I felt like if I didn't fight for myself then who would. Society felled me too. The problem truly comes from that fact that there are way to many higher ups (the rich, government officials, teachers, cops, priests) that are like that. These people have the money &/or the clout to get away with it. Also adults don't listen to or believe children when they are told these things are happening. It's too hush hush. People shy away from talking about it too. My father molested me from 4-18. He wasn't high up but he did have respect in his community. I tried telling his mother, my grandmother, about what he was doing & all I got was "you must have misunderstood what he was doing". What!? There's no way to misunderstanding something like that! Talked to my school counselor, took forever for her to think about the fact that I might be telling her the truth! I told a very close friend. She had a cop in the family. The cop called CPS. CPS came to my house & asked me to "wait outside while we talk to your parents". What seemed like 30 minutes later they came out & got in their car & left. Not a word to me. My parents said they had no idea what I was talking about. The next time my father had me alone he beat me for saying something. He told me he would hurt my mother if I did it again. That was the end of that. If I didn't move out of that house as soon as I graduated it would have never stopped. It has been a slow hard road to recovery. People need to understand that kids may make up stuff in their heads but they can't make up something they know nothing about. So if your 5 years old says I don't like the way this person touches me (tickles me, hugs me, puts me on their lap, whatever) or I don't want to see or go to this person anymore, we MUST listen & investigate! These are our children! It's up to adults to protect children not to harm them! Kids are vulnerable but they can be strong too. A child could be going through a lot more than you might realize. They can hide a lot of pain before letting on. Parents MUST learn to ask uncomfortable questions. If we keep our mouths shut & pretend all is well & this could never happen to my child, then these sick creeps that pray on our children win! More needs to be done to these people as far as law is concerned also! A few years does nothing! Jail does nothing but give these creeps time to think about how they got caught & to not do that again! They don't get therapy & they are put right back on the streets to do it again. Having to file their names everywhere they live helps but it's not enough! Seriously, we as adults must protect our children & the only way to do that is to know the truth. No matter how hard of a subject it is to talk about, it is a MUST!!! Sorry, had to vent that I guess. Some people just really upset me with their comments lol when you're someone who has dealt with this in their lifetime, you get a little offensive about it. I just wish people would wake up & realize that there are a lot of sick people out there praying on our children & they don't give up! So neither can we!! 💜
My own sister won't speak to me because our Father molested me. My family told me not to talk about it and abandoned me because I was molested. It's traumatizing enough to be molested and to have zero support makes it more traumatizing. I am truly sorry for all you have endured and for anybody that has endured this abuse. My heart hurts for you and I mourn who I lost when that happened. I mourn all that is lost from sexual abuse assault. Abandonment and so much more. 💕💜💕
You have rights over your own self. That someone has chosen to abuse you is their problem not yours. Challenging to overcome, a step at a time. Good people will when you reach out to support group/s. Nor does the abuse define you. Just to be angry about this says you know the person who did this it is unacceptable. So many go through this and it is not on.
Same. I wasn't ok pretending my mother's husband didn't abuse me. My mother and sisters are good at sweeping it under the rug but it's so wrong. I have no family at all. It's been three years since I have seen or talked to them and that's perfectly fine with me. I have three kids to protect. Someday I hope to be brave enough to talk about my experience. You're not alone
You deserve so much love and I know youll find it! Thank you for sharing
It’s so horrendous that families are so unable to deal with the truth that they will allow the weight of something out of your control to be taken on your shoulders. Such cowardly hypocritical selfish parents. I feel for you and hope you have found your peace ❤️
Similar happened to me. My brother molested me and our father and our father's entire side of the family abandoned me. They've never spoken to me since. I have 4 kids now and none of them have met that side of my "family." Yet they have a relationship with my brother and HIS 4 kids. Just unreal. Still after 20 years, it blows my mind that when I finally found the courage to speak up and tell what happened, that I was punished for it by my own family.
Your parents failed you Holly. I am so sorry.
Yes they did.
@Butch Seeger
You're a Misogynist! Your mistrust and hate of women is glaringly obvious! Why?
@Butch Seeger
You're the one who needs to grow up, you little punk! What bothers me is that there are idiots like you in the world!
@@maro7125 I've seen a lot of commenters on social media like Butch, claiming that women are lying. I would take his comments with a grain of salt. I'm sorry about what you went through but people and circumstances are different. Young people who have been abused, are fragile and they are easy targets for trafficking. It doesn't mean that all abused kids are ending up in trafficking.
Butch Seeger she was a kid when she told the social worker...
She’s so well spoken and very obviously highly intelligent. Wishing her a complete healing and a happy satisfying life of loyal friendship and family!
Thanks for sharing your story!
So sorry this happened to you! Very good speaker, you should speak at schools and foster homes! Stay strong!
Positive Attitude i
First off, as one fellow survivor to another, I am so sorry that happened to you. With that said, I know you love your parents, and I'm sure they are lovely people, but they really dropped the ball in their role as parents. Listening to your story, I am so thankful my parents not only believed me, they took action. No parent should ignore a child's pain to save others from discomfort. That's how pedophiles thrive, by other's complacency.
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face😊
the fact that she is alive let alone this put together is truly remarkable. I would have given up a long time ago. such a strong woman.
This is so sad! Holly is obviously a very bright, articulate woman! I hope she's able to turn this tragedy into something good and beautiful.
She already has
Children dont speak up because they don't have the vocabulary to explain being raped or molested. They don't know what it means.
Because we don't equip them with the vocabulary to understand and articulate abuse. We don't teach them anatomically correct language, we don't teach them properly about personal boundaries, we don't teach them about body autonomy and personal agency. All cause we think we're protecting their innocence by avoiding talking about these things.
Lindiwe Ngwevela this is EXACTLY WHAT I AM DOING with my daughter. Thank god I am telling her at 2.5 years old.
Bless you for doing that. Your child will do well for you.
Nancy Murbach no necessarily true. My aunt taught her kids anatomy at age 3 and 4 and she taight boundaries. I learned from.them and i was 12! They may know the parts and the boundries but that doesn't solve the problem. In fact the boy molested his sister all her childhood. ..and she.didnt tell...until they were grown. I think knowing the parts made them curious.
Best advice: read the Bible, be diligent, watch your kids. You are responsible!. After all the Bible does say "a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
shirley daughteroftheking and that’s is your take for sure on this. My take is that my daughter will learn to tell if something isn’t right, however I know myself and I wouldn’t allow her to be put in this type of situation ever. I’m just that type of mom and I lesson to my natural born mom instincts and I am also very empathic, so.. as I mentioned it is how I choose to raise my daughter.
This problem stems back to Holly's parents. They enabled this to happen. Holly is a true survivor. She is one of the strongest people out there.
@@3Gravitydown no strong is picking up the pieces of your life and going on, growing past the abuse and living your life in a positive manner.
Ya"ll both right....
It's a boomer parenting thing. They sucked as parents. To busy chilling or socializing. No supervision , no education of morals. Just sending kids to school and feeding them dinner.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to build a strong relationship with your children. Talk to them everyday.
And talk about sexual touches early enough her story is more similar to mine. My cousin brother molested me for 2 good years. It took me 2 decades to tell in him
This!! I ask questions everyday.
The parents should have been very angry with the cousin not their daughter.
Cray Fishe as a father i agree with u 💯 percent
Exactly.
But what about if the parents were also the victims of this horrible situation.
@@neil_spirits2072 If I remember correctly, they got angry with her rather than the cousin. They told her not to discuss it and to lie when she was asked about it. While the cousins actions were horrific, her parent's response was unconscionable.
@@VioletJoy yeah, i know, but what i'm saying is who knows why the parent did that.
Thank you. A lot of courage is required to look back into that horror and tell this story. We are grateful to you.
YES!
You definitely have a gift of teaching and healing. ❤️😊
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face😊
Well done Holly. You are a wonderful inspiration. You spoke very well and have a very good understanding of yourself. Wishing you well for the future!
This is one of the most raw, honest and heart touching story ever... godbless lady, you are amazing girl.
As a survivor of child sexual abuse, I would like to thank you for your bravery. Thank you for helping others find their true selves. I'm still working on it. Blessed be.
Yes. Thank you.
You reminded him of his granddaughter?!?! 🤮😱💔 I’m so sorry sweetie. God BLESS you for speaking out and sharing ❤️
Jennifer V. I know.....gross, huh?!
I hope you are living a happy life now holly
My step father molested me and my mom didn't want to here it, shortly after he passed away she asked me about it and all I could say was "now you want to know almost 30 yrs later, yes mom he molested me more than once".She just dropped her head in shame and said nothing.
💔 that's heartbreaking and I'm very sorry that all of that happened to you
The parents never wondered why their daughter had begged her so that she didn't have to go there.
The alarm bells should ring!
"They are great parents"
I'm not sure about this.
they were young like she said and she tried to honor them, I respect her for that and even more so for telling her story. some parents are just young and ignorant
They cared more for their partying
Honestly? I think they knew and perpetuated it. I wouldn't be surprised if they were part of some sex trafficking ring. What parents go out for entire weekends at a time, leaving their children behind on the regular. That just does not happen. They were up to something or doing something on those weekends and pretended like they were just out partying. And the fact they got angry with her for telling the counselor is a red flag if I've ever seen one.
no sleep over ever.......
They knew. She said herself she told her mom. They KNEW long before she told them anything. Until she confronts them for their huge part in this happening to her she wont TRULY, FULLY HEAL.
When you have a child your own social life is over. Being a parent is extremely hard. Holly had breeders not parents. No parents would do this
No it isn't... you simply have to listen to your children. She told her parents she didn't want to go they should have asked why and listened and reported her cousin. That is where they failed not for having a social life.
@lia lorenzo wtf man go get help. Youre clearly not in the right headspace. What the other commentator said was true, you can absolutely give your child the adequate attention while still maintaining a social life. Calm down lmao
@lia lorenzo i was talking to you though 😂
BUT SO MANY PARENTS DO!
R SR exactly.. Parents can still have a social life. I was molested as a child my mom listened to me and stopped it never once told me not to talk about it again. I have 2 boys and my husband and I still did things with our friends. I didn’t just let anyone watch them I was very careful and I didn’t leave with anyone but my mom, or sisters until they were old enough to talk. I also taught them at young age that no one touches them etc.. I just think parents have to be aware.
Well done Holly Austin. Wonderfully articulate and insightful. I wish you well.
Stop giving ur parents a break. They really messed up.
She needs to forgive so she will be set free from the torment she thinks about everyday when she doesn't forgive them. God says to forgive, so that he will also forgive our sins. It doesn't mean what they did was OK, it totally wasn't. But God will hold her parents accountable. Her job is to forgive, heal and try to move on with her life.
They royally fkd up.
Fuck your parents... mine were the same with me and disowned them at 22. The relief of never having to deal with them or have them manipulate me has no words to describe
Having faced childhood sexual abuse myself, you never blame the parent when you are younger, after I was in my teens I could better equip myself to fight off the abuse. But I still loved that parent to the day they died. Then a relationship with Christ gave me the ability to forgive. I finally found someone who gave me worth, that is Christ in me the hope of Glory! The forgiveness was not instant but over time I did and it freed me from the prison I was held in all those years.
Amber Rose she doesn’t NEED to forgive anybody. That’s not a necessity to moving on in life. Shut the fuck up with your preachy god bullshit.
Thank you for sharing your story Holly, you are very brave.
And the guy said YOU LOOK LIKE MY GRANDAUGHTER (he knew what he was looking for)
It shocks me to see how some people are so disgusting !
I hope these people burn in hell for what they do to these girls
Just the thought sickens me. I wish I could have a "talk" with that bastard.
For real.... So sick. Electric chair where are you?!!!!
All parents / guardians/ women living alone/ have teenagers/ their children living away please read life saving n changing books called Protecting the Gift and fear Less by Gavin De BECKER.
When I was around 12 in the late 80's two 30ish women approached me and complemented me about my look, insisted that I sit with them and talk. I did and they wanted me to come live with them. They were telling me how hard it is living with parents and how they took in kids that run away and let them drink, smoke pot and how fun they were. They gave me their phone # and said they'd come get me anytime if my home life ever got bad. I kept the # for yrs and almost called many times. Pretty sure they were looking for kids to pimp out. I'm glad I had a weird feeling about calling them. My home life was bad but I'm sure it would've been tragic if I ran away to them. Her name was Maude.
thank God you were so smart in following your intuition
If you still have the number, perhaps you can provide it to your local children's advocacy organization, who may be able to share it with law enforcement, which may be able to do a reverse directory search of who owned the landline account at tfe time. Could be helpful. I'm guessing being 30 years on you don't have the number any longer
Why are these girls being arrested and being treated as criminals 😢 such a sad story and it’s so sad this still goes on and is just ignored
Yes the system failed! They arrest the victim and ignore the slave trader then fail to provide support services for the underage abused child forced into prostitution/slavery. Some of the cops patrolling the areas probably get paid off with sex from the child slaves for the pimps protection omg so messed up.
The answer is as simple as it is sick. Money.
I agree! Can't the officers see how traumatized and emotionally manipulated they are? Can't they see that someone did that TO them and not done it to themselves?
To cover up for seriously crooked paedophiles with connections
@@TanyaKatherine I would say no. A lot of police officers have some form of adaptive psychopathy that comes with the position, which lowers their empathy (empathy does not come in handy when you need to potentially fight whoever you come into contact with at your job)
Thank you so much for your heart wrenching story. You are a beautiful and intelligent young lady. You should be proud of yourself.
Being a man listening to this is so heartbreaking. It bothers me that these things happen.
Talk to men about this. Open their minds to this horrible life for women. Doing this to children. These men arw all around
My life was saved by a Man, a stranger, he didn't report the abuse to authorities but he monitored and discretely intervened to stop the abuse.
@@SP-li7wn hugs
Good. This is so destructive, whether "only"touching or worse.
This happens to boys too.
While in the US Army not quite 18 and stationed in San Antonio Texas, I was nearly kidnapped and sex trafficked. While walking off base with a few other army girls, a guy, young and handsome with a nice car stopped and talked to us. During this stop he asked if I would like to go out on a date and I said yes...yes..I was young, dumb and stupid...the next day he picked me up for this date. He said I have a six pack, let's have a beer over in the park..i agreed, there was people around and I felt okay about it. We.sat in this small gazebo. He was being charming, sweet and attentive. A few times he said let me see your beer and shook the can a little and said oh you have a bit more, here drink it up, I'm ahead of you... Well anyway after that beer he said lets go for a ride before we go out..during that ride I started to feel funny...really strange...my mind started reeling, my heart started racing like I was on speed. RIGHT THEN I REALIZED HE HAD PUT SOMETHING IN MY DRINK!! Even though I was so young..i instinctively knew NOT TO ACT ANY DIFFERENT and to not ask anything about the drink. But inside myself I was scared as hell. While we were riding down the multi road highway thru the city, he says as he is pulling into this hotel or motel, I have to stop here for a minute, I will be right back out but by this time I knew he was lying and no way was he or anyone else going to get me in that hotel...so I said to myself when he gets out his side, then I will get out my side and we will have the car between us..so as soon as that happened and he seen me get out to..he started chasing me around the car but he could not catch me then I took off to run across the multi road highway, 3 lanes each side to get to a donut shop, I ran in and tried to get someone to help me but I literally could not talk, get full words out because of the drug he gave me..well in the end a police man and woman put me in the back of their car, still couldn't talk but all of a sudden I came down from the drug and could talk almost like a monotone voice and told them everything that happened. They said " Young lady..you are very lucky. The drug this man put in your beer was most likely amphetamines. Alot of young girls have been coming up missing here, from what we are finding out they are being kidnapped and sex trafficked in these hotels and sold and transported all around the United States. I thank God for not being a victim and disappearing like so many have. This was in the beginning of the year 1980.
I am so sorry this happened to you!
wow you are very brave. thank God you escaped
Thank the Good Lord that you escaped. It seems as if you had an instinctive sense of danger that was activated and it saved your life. I hope many young women and even young men.... as I think there are also those who prey on boys... will take note and be careful... never get into a strangers car...
You're a very fortunate lady. Fear can either freeze or motivate you. You chose the later. Fear is the beginning of wisdom is applied knowledge is the enemy of fear.
I’m so grateful you are here to tell this story! Good for you for trusting your instincts 🙋♀️💐
This is one of the saddest, most horrific true stories I have ever heard in my life and I am NOT young! Holly, you are so articulate, so kind-hearted. I pray our God will hold you and support you all the days of your life from here on out....
If my kid begged not to stay somewhere I wouldn’t leave them !! So many people failed this young lady .. glad she is ok and a beautiful woman
Most parents would be alarmed at their kid's reaction. If not raising red flags it should at least prompt them to start asking questions. That her parents didn't react speaks volumes about them.
Peer pressure says you would.
It's good you survived to share your story and make an impact for others. You're beautiful.
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face
Very well articulated Holly. I'm confused about why you think your parents were so great, when clearly they weren't: farmed you out to relatives/ didn't spot abuse/ told you never to mention abuse/ told you to lie to social worker!!! They set you up for a fall and were utterly selfish. You, however, are an inspiration DESPITE your family.
whiteyho123 maybe she has chosen forgiveness for her mental health. it sounds like she a knowledges shortcomings and is appreciating the good qualities they have.
You need a license to sell insurance or drive a car - sadly, any abusive idiot can have a child.
Simply because, she knew no better. ~♡~ "When you know better, you do better." -M Angelou
SootyIsMyCat123 Your understandable comments are a sign of an intelligent, undamaged person; I know it's difficult for you to understand how this girl got caught up and eventually did the things she did, but that's because none of us can really understand another persons path in life, or the affect's the things that happen to others, has upon them, and also, because we are all different, things affect everyone of us in different ways.
We should all thank our lucky stars if we believe these things can't happen to others unless they allow them to, because this shows the difference in the lives we've been lucky enough to live, and how we've been able to analyse and react to different circumstances, which has, fortunately, prevented us becoming victims of those things we believe are so easily avoided.
We must never judge, we must simply support, love, and care, that way, our behaviour may be noticed, and hopefully, victims like this will seek our protection, rather than continue down a terrible path.
Each day, the more I read, the more I realise how sick and dangerous the world really is; only recently I stumbled over the Jimmy Savile story, which then led me to what they call Pizza Gate, and from there to the illuminate, and NXIVM, all of which saddened and horrified me, creating a very different perspective of just how unsafe it is out there for children and young girls.
Sooty: I agree, but that story probably goes 'way' deeper. I will almost bet that her mom had been raped as a child, but still, they should have done that which was needed to be done, NOT hid it (because they didn't want the neighbors to know- for it to get out), etc., etc... I'm just glad that she made it, many don't.
Cops really need to train more on sexual trafficking, mental illness etc.
I agree; but it doesn't take a crack investigator to spot child abuse. It takes some compassion. I guess they are overwhelmed with the number of "street kids". After a while; it's business as usual?
Scarily enough some law enforcement are involved with trafficking. i.e. cops going to brothels in their off-duty time 😕
@@reneepierce966 I know for fact that’s true ! They all know what goes on from the fellow officers to the judges to the DA to the lawyers and even drs and teachers and preachers !
Alas COPS have their own serious mental health issues.
The only reason she gave up her real name is because he was a little rough with her, she said so herself. Who knows where she would be now if he hadn’t done that. Maybe she’s mad at the cop still, but I believe he was 100% right to do that.
I can't believe the way the officer treated you - and how compassionate you are by saying he just didn't have the right training. You are one strong woman for sure - thank you for telling your story. These things need to stop!
Wow, way to go "parents"!! I would never call myself a perfect mom, but give me a friggin break!! I hope their nights out were worth it! Scumbags. This strong woman wasn't even rebellious- she wanted out from her house and I would've too! It's amazing how well she turned out, and I'm sure it was the opposite of easy. She also isn't delivering a "poor me" message. This is a commendable, heroic woman and should be so proud of herself. What a true inspiration.
Lucy LaRoux Yes and Miss Van DerBur, the Miss America lady whose story was so helpful and so miraculous? She faced and stated what her mother was because you cant dismiss the enabling she did. This girl musnt cover for her mother.
I hAVe 2 daughters lucy ..23 and 21 now....and i remember when they were growing up (my son too)and i asked them ...im not exagerating every day more or less if everything was ok ...and wud say to them "dont matdr what ever the prob dad will fix it...i wudda spotted a look in them that this girl must have had....im very protective over my kids...when they go out drinking now..they wont even tell me if anything happened cos i go looking for the culprit....being a nightclub doorman makes me a bit paraniod too liike..cos i see how wicket kids are to each other.
Lucy LaRoux sorry this happens a lot and to a lot of different children from diff types of parents. Let us know when you raise your kids 100% pure and perfect
sean armstrong you are stupid, stuff can happen anywhere from anyone. Even YOU
Chance Jaxson 👏👏♥️
Such a strong woman. Stay strong. Be well. Amazing.
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face😊
Even when grown women are hookers, and people say "they are adult it's their choice"; I think in 99% of the cases, these women have poor boundaries because they have been abused. No one really chooses that lifestyle if they know any better and they have healthy self-esteem.
Yep think u r right.
What do you say about the women that were not abused, and they choose to sell themselves for money to buy drugs? There are some women that weren’t abused growing up and out of desperation, like feeding their children make a choice to make fast cash. Or the younger women that weren’t sexually abused growing up, but watched their mother live that lifestyle and they choose to live like that too? There isn’t always just black and white. Look further, and you might just expand your mind.
@@babypenelope6432 Rude to infer the person who posted might expand her mind. Okay, so you know more...but none of us know what we don't know. I know of high class prostitutes, wealthy 'business' women and men who are highly articulate and not ashamed...nor are the people, some married who, like the prostitute use, misuse and abuse each other and think they're kosher... without fault. Just as ugly without the trauma and wrong decisions of others who got to the same place but suffered for it more than even you could know, or imagine.
manic hairdo lmfao! I asked some questions to gain information and I see what you’re doing is just causing trouble. Did you get beat up a lot in school? If not, that’s too bad.
this is sooo true miss i was one of those ladies.im glad that you understand this so well.it gives me hope.thank you.
Holly is extremely brave to appear in this video.
From first hand experience, it's not easy to do! She is very strong & brave! So proud of her! And others like her that speak up so we can finally put a stop to these disgusting acts!
I love holly , I got to sit and talk with her some when she spoke at a survivors awareness function . She is the bravest person , so humble and so living and lovable . It’s always been so crazy to me how strong these women are and having one convo with them it’s like they are giving u strength and they don’t even know the positive influence they have just telling their stories . We love u and ty for ALL u have done and continue to do ! ❤️
Not borderline, just abused and traumatized. They always do this to survivors. " borderline"..... Nope, just traumatized.
Lisa Roppo funny they don't label the abusers/traffickers full blown pyschopaths
Lisa Roppo yep traumatized
Complex post traumatic stress disorder not borderline
A lot of practices in psychology are very shady and psychotropic drugs mess people up. Counseling other people is appropriate but medication and injection is crossing the line.
Matthew 24:15
When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place, (whoso readeth, let him understand:)
I believed for the longest time that psychology is the abomination that causes desolation spoken of by Daniel. The amount of damage, human torture and trauma caused by psychology alone is greater than slavery, human traffick and all other tortures on people known in modern society. Sad thing is that psychology is legal.
Jules Vules it depends on the one doing the counseling and you cannot write off all medications. Should someone with bipolar not take meds ? God is the healer let’s leave the method to Him
I couldn't finish this video , because almost the same thing happened to me , and I try not to relive it ....but , it NEVER goes away.
Having been molested myself... I can tell you that if you don't face the pain and grieve it, it will always be with you. Working through it little by little with a counselor who deals in such things, journaling, etc. has made a huge difference in my life.
I ve experienced the same.....the trauma followed me...anxiety and depression...I had councelling many years, now I feel good about myself and love myself unconditionally.
The problem with all such traumas is the victim gets stuck in the past. No different than the soldier traumatized on the battlefield, trying to fit back in to "normal" society. As a child, when I got injured, the dispensing of love and empathy from an adult swallowed up the event, and brought me to the present. Too many people live in the past, and too many involved in one kind of cult or another, too involved in the future.
Be there--in the "now"
Be attentive
Be honest
Believe and achieve
Let go of the outcome
you don't have to 'relive it', sue. it's just part of your unique makeup. Enjoy the fact that you regained control.
No Sue it doesn't ever go away I was sexually abused as well you block it out but it still come's back and haunt's you!! I am truly sorry you went through this 😔
innocent children are being exploited because of the adult are blinded to the truth.
Sound of Jesus you’re s freaking fool.
@Sound of Jesus that's true, it's the demons inside a person who influence people to do and say things. They can only be set free from demons by Jesus.
@@ivonnemistudio9433 no she's not, she's freaking telling the truth.
Or they choose to be "blinded", I don't buy into that, I would kill for mine!
Thank you for being so brave and sharing this. I’m sorry that you were not protected. Sending much love 🙏
I had tears listening to you.... your life is not wasted. Your sharing has helped many and hopefully changed the system. I'm a survivor too
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face😊
You are so very articulate. Thank you for sharing your story. You are helping more people than you will ever know. Bless you.💜💜💜💜
Holly, you are such a smart and beautiful person, thank you for having the courage to share your story and that you weren't satisfied with the system and how they leave victims without any proper counseling or avenues to repair their lives. You are a wonderful young woman and an inspiration for healing.
She's an amazing story teller! God Bless her!
You are sharing your strength, telling your story and helping other girls. AMAZING. May we all, as parents, NEVER let another child suffer like this.
I've never written about this before. I'm not sure why I feel compelled to share this here and it probably doesn't matter much anyway all these years later but maybe the exercise of writing it out, confessing in a way that it did happen to me will somehow be healing to me, or maybe be helpful to someone else who might find this and read it. I just want to say that whenever I hear survivor stories like Holly's in this video, I think wow I'm so lucky and so glad that nothing like this never happened to me. And then I remember. I think a lot of women have stories like this to tell but how do we do it? It seems easier to leave it all buried and just go forward so I don't think about these events in my past very often but sometimes when I see a picture of me as a child, I feel sorry about what happened to that little girl who was me. And I get frustrated that the feeling of not being believed still lingers and that it should have never happened, I should have been able to trust enough to tell the truth, and been loved enough to have been believed. And that I still question why and why not? And I wonder if I would have become a different person without these experiences, either a better person with more confidence, self esteem, ability to trust and have a joy for life, or maybe am I actually stronger than I would have been because of them? Or in spite of them? I wonder if I have an inner strength like Holly seems to have but I just don't develop it because I still hide what happened to me. Not sure if I will ever know any of those answers either.
When I was about 5, the next door neighbor girl - her name was Terri and maybe she was about 12 or 14? - babysat me and my little sister. We would pretend I was in trouble and she had to punish me and spank me with various things - her hand, a wooden spoon, a strap - and she said if I told she would do it to my sister. She would slap my sister's hands until she cried. My sister would have been only 3 or 4. I remember feeling like I had to protect her so I let Terri spank me. She also would tuck me in and put me in my mom's bed and we would lay side by side, I had clothes (pajamas?) on but she would get under the covers with me with her clothes on, and she would kiss me on the mouth which felt very weird being kissed by someone not my parents or grandparents, and her breath was warm and smelled not bad but just different than mine and her lips were thin and dry, and her arms had bumpy skin and it all felt wrong but I told myself it was because she liked me more than she liked my sister, and that she was my friend. She would let me wear her long blue dress and we would dance around and sing to the Bay City Rollers song Saturday Night. I felt special, like she thought I was her little sister. I remember one time when I was in the bathtub. I was on my stomach swimming and my mom saw bruises on my bum and asked me what they were from. I remember twisting around so I could see my back side and seeing the bruises. I remember thinking Terri would get in trouble so I looked up at my Mom and told her I fell down. I remember hoping she could tell I was lying so she would know what really had happened without me having to actually tell on Terri. But she kept asking about it, how did it happen so I finally told my parents the truth that Terri had spanked me. So they had Terri come over and I had to stand there in front of them and tell her what I said and she lied! she said I had fallen off my bike and that I was lying. And they asked me if this was true, and I remember looking at them, and knowing they didn't believe me. So I just said yes I had made it up.
Then they made me go next door and tell her parents I had made it up and apologize to them for lying. I remember Terri's mom telling her dad to come into the living room from the kitchen and she made Terri's siblings go upstairs. They had one of those rickety circular black iron stair cases that I was afraid to go on because I always worried it would come detached from the ceiling and fall and there was an opening to the upstairs and I knew they were listening. Her parents sat on the couch and I stood in front of them and confessed and they stared at me. I remember Terri's mom lecturing me about how bad I was that I had lied to get Terri in trouble and how disappointed everyone was. I was 5 years old! I know this because we moved away when I was 6. And up until we moved, Terri still babysat us and we would go next door to her house and play just like nothing had ever happened.
So it must have been when I was 6, I remember playing in a garden shed in their back yard. It was white metal with rusty spots and had no windows and it was hot and smelled like grass clippings. For some reason, along with the lawnmower and tools and bikes, it had a mattress (or maybe it was a long lawn chair cushion?) with that grey and white striped mattress cover fabric with the little buttons. I remember we would go in there and play house. Her brother was named Dean. And Terri made us go in there together, and I remember being on that mattress, and then I remember the door being hard to slide open and walking out but I really can not remember what happened while we were in there together. When I think of it, its just a fuzzy blank so maybe nothing happened more than two kids being locked in a shed together but I just don't know which makes me wonder if I block it out? Or I was lucky and nothing happened? If something happened, wouldn't I remember it better? Or it's better I don't so I can tell myself it was some game like seven minutes in heaven and nothing happened. Which is mostly what I tell myself... but there's always that slight lingering doubt. When I think about these memories and some other things that have happened in my life, I think where were my parents?! Why was I even in compromising situations? I know I was very lucky and I somehow avoided a lot of trauma and the heartache so many people are faced with. Maybe it's made me learn to be more cautious and why I try to help when I see a problem.
Like when I started working at Taco Bell. One of my co-workers was this cool girl and she invited me to a party. I was 17, never had been to party, and I thought that would be fun since I had just graduated and I was independent now. It was at someone's apartment. There were a lot of people, and they were older, and smoking, and drinking, and doing drugs. When I realized my new friend was acting weird, I figured out she was doing drugs too and she said it was something called Crank. She also said her boyfriend kept fighting with her and was always disappointed with her that she "didn't move right" when they had sex, which surprised me that they had had sex, and apparently he also didn't care if she slept with his friends. She also told me she had ran away from home and was living with him. I decided she couldn't stay there with him and left the party and brought her home with me. She was very wasted and wouldn't/couldn't sleep and kept wandering around my house so I stayed up all night with her trying to keep her quiet until my parents woke up in the morning. They were mad and apparently rescuing a girl has consequences so they made me go to work even though I had not slept, and I didn't drink or do any drugs, and I thought I had done the right thing but it felt like a punishment knowing my sister got to go with my dad driving the 4 or 5 hours to take her to her parent's house on the other side of the state, and they wouldn't let me go with them. My dad said they dropped her off and turned around and came home. I have no idea what happened to her. She never came back to work. And I didn't admit to people that it was my fault. I wonder if she went back to more of the same troubles, or if she reconciled with her parents, or took the opportunity and changed her life. I wonder if she hated me or was glad to have gotten out of there. I realized that just a few different choices could have sent me down a very similar path like what she was on, and I knew I didn't want that.
So it's been a few decades, and I've had lots of various life experiences. Overall I have lived a relatively uneventful drama free and safe adult life. I'm pretty cautious and do try to avoid things, people and situations that might bring a lot of the risks and problems that cause such heartaches but a person can't avoid all the bad in the world. Sometimes we don't have a choice, things happen to us. The things we can control with our choices have such an impact going both ways, positive or negative, intended or not, and we learn that almost always many things could be a lot better and also many things could be a lot worse. In many instances I feel honesty that I was protected by God. I have no idea why terrible things happen to some people and not to others. Or why some people are destroyed and others triumph. I feel like I was very lucky and blessed to have made it through so I'm not complaining but I hope someday all these things will make sense. I would like to understand it all and feel ok with myself and my life, and the people in my life that let me down, and let go of the confusion, disappointment and sadness that still lingers. I still have trust issues both with trusting too much and not enough, and both with others and myself. And I can realize that so many who hurt others must also hurting themselves, so I forgive my parents, and Terri, and everyone else that I need to and not just for them, but for me so someday I can heal and be whole. I sincerely hope that all people of all ages who are hurting and struggling and being abused are able to find a way out, and a way to forgive so they can heal and mend their hearts, and learn to trust, most of all learn to forgive and trust themselves, and then to triumph. I hope we all find abundant happiness and let go of all sadness. This life is hard, but life is good. Most people are good.
God bless us all.
Bless u
I think there are many reasons looking back clearly is so difficult, but also rewarding. Suppression is a defense but it can prevent moving forward as a whole. I pray for your healing and that your abuser hasn’t hurt others!
Esm where did you grow up? This story sounds ds wayyy to familiar
Beautiful testimony. I pray you know Jesus because He offers all the healing you need and everyone needs. Blessings to you! ❤️
The healing & hope you're talking about is found in Jesus Christ alone
This is a system, a horrible pathetic and cruel system that runs on misfits. Early childhood abuse destroys the will to fight on a fundamental level.
@Sound of Jesus then you should know we all need to go to Christ as little children,we all need direction and love from one another bit we are a broken society and love is not the theme of our communities,hate and violence begets hate and violence...It is very hard to be the one to stop it and return love for hate so that the cycle can be reversed or put to an end.
So much trauma perpetrated against this vibrant, lovely woman. The adults in her life, who were charged with protecting her and looking out for her best interest, failed horribly. What an incredible example of resilience.
Thank You SO very much for sharing your story. We all HAVE to learn to fight to END this insidious crime that IS continuing because of the ignorance of those who may have helped if more education was mainstream and up front for everyone to learn from a young age!!!!
Thank You!!!
May your life be empowered and wonderful from now to forever!!!YOU ARE STRONG!!!
THANK YOU!!!
💜
Shelley
Holly, you are well spoken, intelligent, and I am amazed by you. You are triumphant. Sharing your story will help so many young women.
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face
Holly, you are stronger than you know. Some of us are still silent. The police when I tried made me feel like I was the problem and scared me. I just pushed through, but I'm not well. I'm 37 and still stuck in those years emotionally. Watching things like this helps so much. Thank you.
Holly, you are a bright light!
The cousin was most likely a victim. The family sounds like multi-generational incestuous one.
Normal parents wouldn't behave as Holly's did. She is amazing and so beautiful!
Good observation!! yes l agree. A prudent parent will know, they will sit and listen.
Right....horrendous mother
Her parents knew!
This was really informative. Perfect person to tell this story in the perfect way for people to REALLY get it. Thank you Holly.
God bless you sweet soul. You are so brave. I am so proud of you. You are an inspiration. 🙏🙏🙏
What an incredible woman she is . I can't help thinking had her mother not covered up the abuse things would of turned out differently . Her mum should of took it to the police . But good on holly for her forgiveness . These are the real life miracles . I wish trafficking was a thing of the past but sadly it's not . Good luck holly 😘
You are brave, wonderful and thank you for sharing, love from Australia.💗.
Thank you Holly for sharing your story with us.
I loved hearing your story, Holly. Thank you for being so brave and putting it out on the Net so others can open up about their painful circumstances as well. Evil has many tentacles, and it can scar a young person for life, can't it?
Abused children are often groomed by their parents, or an older sibling, to protect everyone in the family but themselves. So eloquent and brave, thankyou for sharing.
I will never understand why authority figures think it's a good idea to go question the parents or abuser if they aren't going to take the child with them when they leave also. Bc the authority figure will go home and sleep great and continue to live their normal life however that child is now going to be hurt even worse more than likely for telling. I'll never understand that.
i don’t think social workers think it’s a good idea-it’s what government policy mandates. what child can disclose if they don’t know they’re going to be kept safe?
I tend to agree. They are worried about the kid potentially being abused. Did they even talk to the parents?
Holly, I will keep you in my thoughts, every day. You deserve happiness, I hope you are able to find happiness and love in your life.
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face
Its the Parents failure .... Poor, poor Girl. God, she's an Angel too !
You are so awesome at explaining your own Trauma. You should be verrrrry proud of how far you have come.
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face
Holly, So glad you are still here, with us. Hope you are finding happiness in your life........ Thanks, Great to hear you.
Holly, you are beautiful and strong and courageous and smart and wonderful! It is so terrible what you went through. You didn’t deserve that! I hope the rest of your life is wonderful!
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face😊
Thank you for telling your story.
As a nation, we don't value children, we say we do but we don't. If we did, the legal system would be overhauled.
Your parents really failed you here
Lovin'Life2016
It seems a few pple don't understand your comment, to bad, so sad for them. I agree with you 100%. Children are God's blessing and gift to us. They are given to us to love and protect They are our future.
Lovin'Life2016 Absolutely right!
Lovin'Life, we do not value our children, we kill them in the womb, even killing them seconds after birth.
Lovin'Life2016 our children are our future but we shun them.
You were failed by almost everyone. Thank you for sharing, this is very eye opening.
Thank you Holly Austin Smith for being so articulate and open to sharing your story. I had to watch this in segments just to digest it all. I can tell you have the "writer" talent because you explain things so well & concisely and with warmth. You definitely have the "gift" of telling/explaining/teaching. I wish this vid to get maximum exposure.
oh Holly beautiful darling sweet little girl. I wish i could hug you and adopt you when you were little and protect you 💗 from your hideous mother and father and cousin. You deserve a great life. You are awesome 💟
Jen Rich u r a wonderful to say such kind things, i have adopted 2 victems of sex abuse as teenagers an would do it for 10 more,bless you.
Jen Rich c
Desiree Mcpherson oh wow I hope u guys will be on a easy path from now on and many good things come your way! Im 34 just turned ,i wont be having children of my own but i hope i will be in a situation to be able to help as many as I can I just don't know where to begin well as a victim of abuse and sexual abuse I'm beginning just now to work on myself and my healing(only realized it recently what a big hold it has on me) but I so hope to be able to help as many children as I can! So thank you and people like u!!! U inspire me! ✌️💗🙏🙂
Her parents are hideous? WAKE UP! Many, far too many people are shackled by shame or perceived shame. That doesn’t make it OK it’s simply how it is for many people.
Even in 2019 I know families that NEVER “air their dirty laundry” NO MATTER what it is.
It was like that in my childhood. Definitely the opposite once we had children. A problem shared is sometimes essential to finding the best solution.
Kids will often try anything to avoid things. Mostly it’s trivial, sometimes it’s not.
Holly doesn’t mention telling her father, just her mum. Who knows if they talked about it?
Who knows if what Holly was experiencing was a trigger of abuse the mother may have had? A “trigger” will often immobilise a person. Does that make her a bad Mum?
Whilst kind,your desire to protect Holly is nice & utterly irrelevant. She doesn’t need your protection.
She’s a survivor & like most of us, gobsmacked to know she wasn’t alone, even though she felt she was.
Oh the holier than thou judgement of others.
What a beautiful heartfelt comment
So much I can relate too. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I told someone; a teacher I revered and trusted. Several years later I found out that she had told other teachers and said to them she thought I made it all up for attention. I was floored! It made me so angry it took many more years before I could ever trust anyone again. Years and years, layer by layer peeled away by myself, and probably the greatest help was reading thousands of stories of others who were sexually abused. I am 73 today, and it has been a long road , but I'm free; and I am in a very good place and position to help others.
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face😊
I never ever comment on videos, but you are so brave and strong to share your story! This could be any child! And the fact that you learned so much from this and are willing to share it is encouraging for all of us, how you made sense from your own history is just beautiful, you will help sooo many!
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face😊
Your story is so powerful. What an amazing and strong woman. Everybody around you failed you, but you came out on top even with all the struggles you had to face. and yes, your parents should have been there for you. They seemed more worried about your cousin getting into trouble then protecting you!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! You are helping countless other victims and would be victims of sexual abuse! God bless you!
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face😊
The parents were the real problem ...
Agreed...
Half of the problem is people saying that anybody else but the monster is the monster... they never really have to take responsibility her parents would never do that to a child could never fathom it like she said wasn't equipped to even think that way of course especially back then...... but they're the problem not the monsters?!? this is called blaming the victim
The real problem was the perverted creep who repeatedly molested this girl and the trafficker. The parents let her down in supervising, getting therapy and defending their child.
for real...
Rinkle Parents fault. Teachers faults. Any adult in her life is at fault!
Because that man told her he reminded her of his granddaughter makes me think he did something to his granddaughter because that is just sick to say that and then proceed to do your nasty with the kid. Smh. I never was traffic but I have been molested and raped and manipulated so many times and when I finally spoke out, I didn't get the help I needed. Now older and listening to others is helping me to heal.
Jesus will heal you! From experience, I know if cry out to The Lord, He will save you.. if you let Him! He will redeem you and make all things new!
We live in the sick world because I've been molested myself
Good for you Alana- It sounds like you're doing the self-healing route and it's working for you. Hang in there!
Please go to therapy. Listening to others is good n it therapy will help alot.
@@meghanc5793
Really. He certainly didn't heal my sister after 10 yrs of rape. I think Jesus did all the healing when he created the saints and popes and inquisitioners.
What terrible, terrible parents...
Her story is very interesting, sorry sombody didn't ask her some questions for clarification on certain issues.
Very nice and smart person you are, Holly!
I'm so proud of you for having the courage to speak your truth. The system failed you. I'm so sorry for the pain and wounds you have had to face and heal. I'm so thankful you are courageous and whole enough to tell your story.
you look gorgeous and you smile is so beautiful please always wear that smile your face
All you needed was love. I felt this way for 31 years until I experienced real love from someone else. Its ok to be mad at your parents.