So true, absolutely keep your children away from these abusers. And if you were raised by a narcissistic parent as I was make a pact that this will not follow another generation. It stops with me!
Absolutely right! I’ve been trying to say this for 20 years! Finally now that my kids are older they do get it. They wrote me a letter thanking me for all the things that I did so we could survive. It was a lot, a lot of work! And it’s ongoing. 💕
That is very sweet and rewarding. How old are your kids now K.N.? Asking because mine is 20 and despite all the healing I've been doing and being empathetically supportive in every way, my son is still going through a lot of anxiety and is still in a very dark and confused state. He's still hurting so much from all the narc abuse that he's even blaming me for not doing enough, not realizing my strength and support as I was myself coping, healing and trying to recover from the abuse daily.
@@LifepostNarcissism what helps are things like this, that are not from me. I show them all kinds of videos and blogs from others who are going through exactly what we are. I point it out to them that it’s not just us. Look at other people’s stories and how they are so much like ours. It is a lot. Stay strong, you are doing exactly what you need to be doing, your son will recognize that. 💕
Reading this makes me feel better. She is 8 and it's taking a toll on her ,I can see it in her attitude and behavior,she is hurting. The video idea sounds great I will make sure we do that. She hates going back there she's being abused, I'm getting her therapy for court hopefully things will rule in the best interest of my baby. It hurts me so much ,I feel helpless😢😢😢😢. Every thing Danish say is 100% what I see with my daughter 😢😢😢😢😢. God help us all.❤❤ we just want to raise healthy, loving,kind human being.
@@deannahafsasalam5784 Hang in there! My kids are in their 20s and it takes a lot of pointing things out to them before it clicks because narcissists wear everyone down. It helped to point out what he is doing why he’s doing it and what he will do next. And it’s not just me making this up. Best wishes!
Exactly. When I see people like “I’m trying to be neutral” while coparenting with a narcissist. I’m like welp, prepare for all of your kids to turn into narcissists as the default outcome. The narcissist will actively oppose you to confuse and manipulate the kids which will cause huge cognitive dissonance in the kids. The kids can also learn to be two faced and transactional from the experience.
Not for me. I’ve been teaching my kids about narcissism as soon as I figured my ex out. They were 8&9 at the time and it’s been 4 years of teaching them, watching these kinds of videos. I tell them after listening to therapy videos just watch how your dad behaves. They totally get it. ❤
They are horrible parents when they are narcissistic. My ex used my daughter to try to hurt me while he heard her. I remain quiet silence. The wicked will always perish. Keep praying.
I’m going threw same exact thing just Omgg he turned my daughter against me this is the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me 🙏❤️I pray for us all
@@denisechaoub90 my ex narc husband of 36 years who made my life a living incomplete hell we had two beautiful children the only work the first five years of our 36-year marriage then he's decided to him then he decided to sit on his ass and forced me to work 2 to 3 jobs for 36 years he became a raging Percocet narcotics Seeker a raging alcoholic and verbally abusive I have a relationship with my daughter but he has turned my son against me who I'm afraid is turning into a narcissist to I prayed for years to have a relationship with my adult son and I just recently gave it all to God I'm done I can't deal with this anymore
This is spot on! Wow. The struggle is real. The time it takes is real. I let everything in my life go, job, friends everything, to devote the time to my son’s security. He’s 8 now and he’s seeing his father for who he is and he’s gaining confidence and a strong sense of self. I feel the weight of the world lifted to know my devotion has helped him have a chance at a happy life. I love what you said about not punishing your children but being a safe space and EXPLAINING why certain rules exist. My family sometimes criticizes me that I am too lenient with my son. I am not, I am very strict about the things that are important. But I enforce it with love, reasons why, and consistency. I also do not engage with his dad. I simply do not communicate with him unless necessary. But when I do, I act like everything is ok. It’s the way to keep the peace even tho sometimes it makes me crazy. I do everything I can, therapy meds etc, to work on my own mental health and to combat the abuse. Unfortunately, divorce doesn’t free you from the narcissist if you share a child. It’s a heavy burden. Thank you for this, so clear and so wise. I feel like wow I am doing some things right! Haha. Peace to you.
You are right about the struggle. I work a menial job and only 20 hours a week, just to be there for my kids now. Coparenting is like a full time job with narcissists. I live with my boyfriend who pays the rent and my kids can SEE the difference from when I was with their dad. There is no drama at my place. No fighting. They can be themselves. My boyfriend is extremely kind. My son no longer wants to see his own father after his dad punched him. (He’s 11) and I have to talk and listen, it’s still not easy because my ex and his mother keep trying to get my son back. Trying to get into everyone’s head. My son is brave and smart. So now he won’t even talk on the phone with his dad because he knows dad is full of crap. I agree. ❤
my ex stepdad NEVER behaved like my parent, discarded his own children, never showed me genuine love/care, let alone act like an adult! 🤦🏼♀️ I’m still healing from the trauma/confusion and health issues. He would give the evil eye and interfere when my mother & I acted happy or joyful around him. Horrible way to go thru your teen years
We DID protect our son from my narcissistic parents so he practically had no grandparents as the in-laws died early. After a really stressful adolescence our parental duties were done and when my father died he would choose to live with my mother since 2019 and never would give a notice since. She would make him her flying monkey. Even if you try to protect them it is not guaranteed your family will be restored. They do estrange everybody from everyone. Even when they're dead. 😩😩
Both of my parents were narcissists, and I decided long ago not to become a parent. Instead, I teach children professionally and support/contribute to groups that battle against child sex trafficking and pedophilia which have been at epidemic levels for generations. 💚💚💚
Both my adult sons suffered from rejection even though they were always demonstrably loyal and fair to their father. We are all three, thirty years post divorce, in therapy, separately. I think the divorce cost me my actual house, income and place in "respectable society. My husband's malevolent influence remained at 100%.
Good cop: bad cop every second of every day-and of course, with me killing myself teaching accountability, honesty, integrity, a moral compass, working hard to achieve to boost his self-esteem, I’m constantly undermined with EVERYTHING and how so, 💰💰💰💰💰💰, expensive material goods, and surrounding him with all the family flying monkeys to confuse him that there is safety in numbers, whilst I, sadly, am an adult orphan, and all of my closest and longest friends live out of state, and momma here is alone. Danish, it’s pure torture. HE IS MY ONLY CHILD , and I only want the very best for him. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I could not have described it better. I have three sons and it seems some days I am not making headway but I pray and press on. It’s difficult teaching integrity, honesty, setting boundaries healthily, their body functions and parts, sex, work ethic, self regulation, books on how to be a man and other resources. It’s a lot.
I need to add, i have four grown children now, one who is in heaven, but we are so in connection and full of love for each other, we dont need, but are sometime sad about the narc. But we have pulled through with the care and love we have for each other.
Danish, your videos saved my life and my kids from chronic depression. They provide me with much needed confirmation that I'm not crazy to choose to protect my kids mental health from my narcistic Ex husband by divorcing him through court ruling. The painful years I lived trying to divorce him was so worth it. I'm free. Thank you so much and see you soon on your upcoming webinar. I need to equip myself with more knowledge and understanding indeed. May Allah Bless you.🤩
I am so glad you are touching on this subject. Not many people talk about how to help our children. I'm still with my husband, desperately trying to find a counselor and navigate how to help them at the moment.
The abuse that a narcissist can inflict on their child would put someone in jail for life if that abuse came from a non parent adult. Just think about that, just because they are genetically bound it absolves all pain and suffering that cause to the entire life of the child. Disgusting
My narcissist man drinks drinks drinks and gambles and steals from me and my kid when confronted he says he didn't do it or says it was a mistake won't happen again then does it again. Don't feel safe honestly no peace. Its all about him and when I need him he abandons me.
My narc mom wonder why I do not let her see her grandson and keeps her on a very limited diet of information. She tells me angrilly: I dont know why you do this, I raised you, you should know me!!, My answer very calmly: Exactly, You raised me, I know.
@J Brown GREAT advice. The TMH YAH will help you even if you can't even help yourself. That is not a scripture. But I understand what you saying. HIS grace and help for the helpless.
Always, great videos. Your info is so spot on and is giving so much comforting and possible ways to overcome the awful ordeals these narcissistic people impose on our lives. I was fortunate to be adopted and experienced loving, caring but a bold and respectful upbringing with lots of love from my parents. So when i met and had to deal with the opposite narc family, i was astounded how cruel they could be. I stood my ground always, even alone. The cruel madness of these empty peoples. Just get as far away as possible and never get soft and think i will give them a second chance. They wont change !!! Much love and respect to all who suffer or have suffered these people !!!
This is exactly what I have been going through. But she notices it and immediately alerts her fellow succubus or liliths or witches to block me and put difficulties along my path like financial punishments . There is a dark force that envelopes the circle they are in. I had the same issue with my kids. There was no structure from her side no discipline and I was always frowned upon by trying to haveca structure and discipline. This video explains clearly why this was happening. Now my first son cannot face the world and its impact can be seen in his attitude to work and in taking advice from others. It is a very sad state. Kids are completely destroyed and for me it was so exhausting to play the dual parent and have some structure and discipline. How would little children realise this and understand what is good for them. It is a terrible sin and may God himself deal with it. We have no power over the forces of darkness that operate in this situation. I try to give them a safe space but they attack us financially and otherwise to cut us down so that we cannot do anything. They have a system that makes those who try to do the right thing get lost in the technicalities and give up. The worst is that they have a surveillance system that informs them of your every move so that they are updated and adapt. If you try to get justice for them, they use their magic and also make it look like you are the problem. So it is very well crafted and orchestrated. You are cornered in every move. You cannot even get help from the school. I have literally seen my son being destroyed year by year and you can call them and they don't do anything. Because the system is that way it's a reactive rather than proactive system. And especially where these kids think that the parent who makes life so easy and nice for them loves them more only makes it so hard to convince them until they realise it much later in their life when the damage is already done. I feel so sorry for all of them but what can we do when she is their mother? I feel so sorry and pray for all the dads or moms dealing with this. The worst is those who are not having this problem can never ever know and they will never understand even if you try to explain to them. Even explaining it is so exhausting!
Today after more than 10 years of my ex partner’s manipulative behaviour towards our child (because he can’t get to me) I’ve had enough! I spoke to my daughter and said that we can’t thrive and have a good relationship with him always trying to ruin it with messages and so on. She actually said she didn’t mind if she didn’t see him because he doesn’t really talk to her, do anything with her or sometimes let’s others look after her when she’s with him (which is only once a month or when he decides to turn up) It was eating away at me inside, always trying to justify his lies or questioning myself over how I parent. I’m also going to get Narcissistic abuse counselling in the New Year to better our relationship as mother and daughter and to heal myself. I’ll see if my daughter will chat to a professional too. She’s only 12 years old so she may not be ready to but I’ll ask her.
Co-parenting with my ex is so difficult. He got primary custody by forcing me to have to move a little over an hour away snd therefore forfeiting 50/50 ( long story) by not abiding by the divorce decree and my lawyer refused to help because (I found out months later) she retired from public practice as soon as the paperwork was signed. Still fighting for my children.
Thx! Some more advice I can give to my sis, who is in exactly this situation. The 3 kids r always so out of it once they return from their narc father. (The son is the golden child and the dauhters get ignored or worse.) And then my sis even has to listen to those clueless outsiders, who tell her how lucky she is that their father is sooo interested in his children... my ass🤦♀️they don't realise that they r just a tool for him to improve his outside image and to torment my sis even further! The oldest girl (9yo) told my sis that her daddy doesn't even talk to the girls when they r there...
Brava for supporting your sister and nephews in this terrible experience!! I'm in a similar position, but I'm still unfortunately living with my narc husband and trying to protect my kids from this madness. We need more family like you who understands what NPD is about❤
My second husband tried to prove I was an unfit mother when I was fighting a custody battle with him. I allowed him to take her away from Wagga to Armidale on her eighth birthday he remarried and it didn't work out she divorced him as well my daughter ran away from him at. the age of twelve she became a heroin addict and prostitute. She now lives in Melbourne alone and I said no to her for the first time today and she is thirty eight in December. Her father is a narcissist and on his third marriage. He totally ignored his daughter. I love my daughter very much and I feel for her and what she has been through and now. I do feel a lot better myself for saying no to her and will keep saying no to her when she wants money especially when I believe she could be a narcissist as well. Thanks Danish I am healing.😊
My ex narcissistic husband try to manipulate my pets because we didn't have kids together. He let them behave badly to annoy me.He finally wanted to poison them.
Thank you for answering my question as part of my registration process for your online course. Wonderful support and tools to use. See you on June 3rd.
He‘s done anything That the kids loose them life from any reason possible. Facilitate contexts and refuse to intervine if there is any health problem or any kind of probleme conscious caused by him
I divorced my ex narcissist and was in court for 5 years after as he entangled my youngest daughter to debilitate me however he could hanging her in the balance. I had to sign off all custody of her to him in order to release her from him in the middle of his clutches . My eldest turned 18 and got out of the middle. From 12-17 it was hell now she and I are trying to recover her. I’m doing mending the soul now and I feel for anyone caught within such 👿 Stand firm and don’t give up. Danish has had some of the best videos confirming all the layers and tactics you weren’t aware of or need to understand. Now I know where his insight comes from going through this and how he’s paying it forward here on this platform. 🙏🏻🌈♥️✨ Appreciate your ability and steadfast support here!!🦚❤️🔥
My Narcissistic Mother kidnapped my daughter, I have been battling her in court for 5 years and she has money also so she is able to persuade the ones who work for the court. She has found out somehow that I had an escape plan and took my daughter when I was sleeping. I have done everything the court has asked , yet she is not and took her out of state lines while in court. She has made it so I have not physically seen or hugged my daughter in 5 years due to parental alienating and refusing visitation. I just don't know how to get my daughter away from her abuse... My daughter is being totally brainwashed and I can't say anything due to the way the orders were written ... I FINALLY got a Lawyer and we are baffled how the new court reporter and the lawyer for my daughter think that my daughter should stay with her! Any thoughts??? Btw I really appreciate you I take what you educate me with to hear and practice. Thank you
This was wonderful very specific advice that helps me navigate this difficult situation. I haven’t been able to find a lot of content out there like this so far, so I really appreciate it. Thank you!
Definitely, my husband's like a masochistic bully jock and my son became a nurse (as is his girlfriend), he's also a great mechanic but didn't like group sports, quite the challenge for me, glad I stuck up for my son and he's a wonderful gentle human being!
My ex husband agreed to every other weekend with the children. I then found out that he left them with anyone he could and didn't spend the time with them at all! So when the children were 12 and 14, they rebelled and refused to visit. His anger was extreme and dragged me through the courts. The children spoke to social workers, explaining how they felt. The social workers didn't believe them but the judge did! They were given choice. They chose not to go. When they went to university both of them tried to start a relationship with him as an equal, he wouldn't have it. They see him rarely now, sadly they saw him for what he was.
I am so glad that I cut ties. It's not good for your mental health. It does mess up your nerve system. Parents who emotionally abuse their kids are evil 😈
Thank you so much for all this information I’m definitely going to register. Could you also do a post for children, meaning I have 20 year old boy girl twins, and they have a narcissistic father. I would love for you to focus on the kids so I can show them a video of what they can do to help themselves With a narcissistic parent especially for my son because he is struggling so much. I’m so afraid for my son because he’s so fearful of his narcissistic father and it’s almost like he is looking up to him and putting him up on a pedestal and I try to explain to him Not to. But I just don’t think he understands or he’s just too afraid not to. So if you could post some thing for sons of narcissistic fathers to help them, realize that no matter how much they praise them and put them up on a pedestal. They will never receive the love that they are looking for. Thank you so much!
Sadly now that he's an adult he'll have to see it for himself one day. They're already trained to form a blind loyalty to their abuser. It's a spiritual battle. Pray 🙏
I agree. When you yell you get nowhere. But if you direct them with tough love not rough love they will get a better understanding instead of discipling them. Do bully them mentor them and guide them. They learn and comprehend from example
The court system in my country says ”children should have a chance to build a close relationship with both parents”. No matter what the father of my children does, as long as he’s not physically abusive towards the kids they give him time alone with my kids.. it breaks my heart to put them through this!!!
That's what I did. Biggest mistake I ever made. Just run, they will turn against you eventually anyway. Your narc will find the right reinforcements. Its not worth it unless you live for being able to say " I took the high road".
Yep. That's why I stayed. I realised that if I put myself first and walked out I'd be leaving young children with an emotional nut job. So I stayed. The children benefitted greatly. The cost to me was REALLY HIGH.
Glad you are doing a workshop on this because I did it for 10 years my way and it worked. But it would’ve been easier had I known what she was back then and had a workshop to help me.
I tried to be this kind of step parent to my Narcs children but they are his devoted flying monkeys, literally pretending not to see me. My kids must remain in the real world, on a foundation of love.
I'm dealing with this..I have a 3 year old with a covert narcissist....I'm a wreck cuz she litterally treat the kid like a cat and since I already made my exit due to realizing the abusive dynamic I was under...she don't even teach the kid and now she wants to claim it's cuz he's autistic..but he's treated like a pet or pair of shoes as far as love..help!
I was raised in abuse. I was making steps to flee..called the police because my son assaulted me and then I was asked to leave the house and children chose to stay with the narc dad..I let the police question them without me present. I'm exhausted and wondering if I should give them up now.
It’s sad to know that both your parents were narcissist. How did you survive the constant abuse Danish? If you don’t mind, could you please share with us your journey 🙏 It would help a lot. Thanks
May I ask you, Danish, how did you survive to a malignant father and a covert mother becoming a healthy person, if you feel you are? It really causes me admiration
He has always tried his hardest to turn my 2 sons against me. The only time he gave them attention is when he was raging at them. My youngest son slept with a knife in his bedroom. My sons are now grown & the youngest has moved out. My oldest son is still living with me & the demon. The creepy old monster still puts us through living hell. He goes to my sons home raging for money. He wants all the money my son's make on their jobs. He is raging for their money. He treats us all like garbage. I do my best to protect my sons. It is difficult when dealing with a demon.
Pray, pray, pray, work on your own self-esteem and power (positive affirmations etc.) and look for good people and organizations to help❤ We are not powerless and God will not forsake us!!
It takes time for the children to transition between homes of divorced parents. Chaos within the children that takes a day for them to settle. They can choose to stay with one parent starting at age 12.
Here he makes them do what is rite but at the same time keeps telling them that i am bad n crazy ... i am mad n not to listen to me .. even before i tell them what to do he tells them to do
How! Courts give them partial custody no matter what now! If you stay you will most likely become ill and possibly die, and leave your child a helpless victim. What do you do?
Danish try and explain that to people who know the public persona of the narcissist only. Try and explain that to the narcissist's relatives who did not grow up with them who have not experienced their dark side yet too. Try and explain that to a lot of people who work in the family court system who believe myths and lies about the nature of crminal domestic violence and exploitation of others? All of whom unless they have themselves direct experienced loss like the narcissist breaking into their garage to steal property as punishment for not paying them back when promised or whatever then good luck with that. I can however continue to practise good parenting skills to the best of my ability for sure though.Watching videos on strategies to help do that better which focuses more on on relationship and helpful predictable structure present for them.
Can a narcissistic parent can be the other way very strict in what they should do and not to do ... like setting rules like for their betterment and not bad
Mine were. The way to succeed is to something you which no one else expected you to do. Because behind your back they ruin your image, they do not want you to succeed, once you do, they are shocked, all their 'hard work' goes down the drain.
Well if you grow up with two narccistic parents u are definetly gnna have traits whether u are better then then or worse then them. We are a mimetic species we copy what we see and hear. But the reason some succumb and some don't is bcuz there are hella influences other then parents in life. The TV shows u watch. The cartoons. The movies, the books u read. The friends you meet. The coaches you have the teachers at school you have. Any other family members. Just watching things in nature. All this comes into play of the life lessons you learn and personality traits u aquire.
My mother is probably of the vulnerable type. She manifests bad health (bad lifestyle choices) to make people feel like she is a helpless old lady. My dad was smewhat angry when he was dying. Still not sure of his status because he died before learning about narcissism. Buuut.....mom was very mean to my dad when he was dying. She could have caused many of the problems he was showing near the end.
So true, absolutely keep your children away from these abusers. And if you were raised by a narcissistic parent as I was make a pact that this will not follow another generation. It stops with me!
If I could be back to my childhood, I would tell my mom:"take your child away from that man, as far as you can"
Absolutely right! I’ve been trying to say this for 20 years! Finally now that my kids are older they do get it. They wrote me a letter thanking me for all the things that I did so we could survive. It was a lot, a lot of work! And it’s ongoing. 💕
That is very sweet and rewarding. How old are your kids now K.N.? Asking because mine is 20 and despite all the healing I've been doing and being empathetically supportive in every way, my son is still going through a lot of anxiety and is still in a very dark and confused state. He's still hurting so much from all the narc abuse that he's even blaming me for not doing enough, not realizing my strength and support as I was myself coping, healing and trying to recover from the abuse daily.
@@LifepostNarcissism what helps are things like this, that are not from me. I show them all kinds of videos and blogs from others who are going through exactly what we are. I point it out to them that it’s not just us. Look at other people’s stories and how they are so much like ours. It is a lot. Stay strong, you are doing exactly what you need to be doing, your son will recognize that. 💕
Reading this makes me feel better. She is 8 and it's taking a toll on her ,I can see it in her attitude and behavior,she is hurting. The video idea sounds great I will make sure we do that. She hates going back there she's being abused, I'm getting her therapy for court hopefully things will rule in the best interest of my baby. It hurts me so much ,I feel helpless😢😢😢😢. Every thing Danish say is 100% what I see with my daughter 😢😢😢😢😢. God help us all.❤❤ we just want to raise healthy, loving,kind human being.
@@deannahafsasalam5784 Hang in there! My kids are in their 20s and it takes a lot of pointing things out to them before it clicks because narcissists wear everyone down. It helped to point out what he is doing why he’s doing it and what he will do next. And it’s not just me making this up. Best wishes!
I hear you. It’s nonsense and non stop. ❤
Exactly. When I see people like “I’m trying to be neutral” while coparenting with a narcissist. I’m like welp, prepare for all of your kids to turn into narcissists as the default outcome. The narcissist will actively oppose you to confuse and manipulate the kids which will cause huge cognitive dissonance in the kids. The kids can also learn to be two faced and transactional from the experience.
Not for me. I’ve been teaching my kids about narcissism as soon as I figured my ex out. They were 8&9 at the time and it’s been 4 years of teaching them, watching these kinds of videos.
I tell them after listening to therapy videos just watch how your dad behaves. They totally get it. ❤
@@undercoverbird8592I would say you’re technically not neutral because you’re still prepping your kids.
They are horrible parents when they are narcissistic. My ex used my daughter to try to hurt me while he heard her. I remain quiet silence. The wicked will always perish. Keep praying.
I’m going threw same exact thing just Omgg he turned my daughter against me this is the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me 🙏❤️I pray for us all
Lost 3 sons that way!
@@denisechaoub90 my ex narc husband of 36 years who made my life a living incomplete hell we had two beautiful children the only work the first five years of our 36-year marriage then he's decided to him then he decided to sit on his ass and forced me to work 2 to 3 jobs for 36 years he became a raging Percocet narcotics Seeker a raging alcoholic and verbally abusive I have a relationship with my daughter but he has turned my son against me who I'm afraid is turning into a narcissist to I prayed for years to have a relationship with my adult son and I just recently gave it all to God I'm done I can't deal with this anymore
@@denisechaoub90 He's started up again on me with our first grandchild!!
I had to let go. This man was capable of anything. The law was useless.
This is spot on! Wow. The struggle is real. The time it takes is real. I let everything in my life go, job, friends everything, to devote the time to my son’s security. He’s 8 now and he’s seeing his father for who he is and he’s gaining confidence and a strong sense of self. I feel the weight of the world lifted to know my devotion has helped him have a chance at a happy life. I love what you said about not punishing your children but being a safe space and EXPLAINING why certain rules exist. My family sometimes criticizes me that I am too lenient with my son. I am not, I am very strict about the things that are important. But I enforce it with love, reasons why, and consistency. I also do not engage with his dad. I simply do not communicate with him unless necessary. But when I do, I act like everything is ok. It’s the way to keep the peace even tho sometimes it makes me crazy. I do everything I can, therapy meds etc, to work on my own mental health and to combat the abuse. Unfortunately, divorce doesn’t free you from the narcissist if you share a child. It’s a heavy burden. Thank you for this, so clear and so wise. I feel like wow I am doing some things right! Haha. Peace to you.
You are right about the struggle. I work a menial job and only 20 hours a week, just to be there for my kids now. Coparenting is like a full time job with narcissists. I live with my boyfriend who pays the rent and my kids can SEE the difference from when I was with their dad.
There is no drama at my place. No fighting. They can be themselves. My boyfriend is extremely kind. My son no longer wants to see his own father after his dad punched him. (He’s 11) and I have to talk and listen, it’s still not easy because my ex and his mother keep trying to get my son back. Trying to get into everyone’s head. My son is brave and smart. So now he won’t even talk on the phone with his dad because he knows dad is full of crap. I agree. ❤
my ex stepdad NEVER behaved like my parent, discarded his own children, never showed me genuine love/care, let alone act like an adult! 🤦🏼♀️ I’m still healing from the trauma/confusion and health issues. He would give the evil eye and interfere when my mother & I acted happy or joyful around him. Horrible way to go thru your teen years
We DID protect our son from my narcissistic parents so he practically had no grandparents as the in-laws died early. After a really stressful adolescence our parental duties were done and when my father died he would choose to live with my mother since 2019 and never would give a notice since. She would make him her flying monkey. Even if you try to protect them it is not guaranteed your family will be restored. They do estrange everybody from everyone. Even when they're dead. 😩😩
Both of my parents were narcissists, and I decided long ago not to become a parent. Instead, I teach children professionally and support/contribute to groups that battle against child sex trafficking and pedophilia which have been at epidemic levels for generations. 💚💚💚
When I found out my parents and family were narcissists, I chose not to become a parent because I did not want to treat my own kids like garbage.
My mother said to me that she sold me and lam living in a narcistic society
My father didn't protect me from two abusive people who raised me..
My childhood was very very traumatic..
Both my adult sons suffered from rejection even though they were always demonstrably loyal and fair to their father. We are all three, thirty years post divorce, in therapy, separately. I think the divorce cost me my actual house, income and place in "respectable society. My husband's malevolent influence remained at 100%.
@J Brown Thankyou. ❤️
Good cop: bad cop every second of every day-and of course, with me killing myself teaching accountability, honesty, integrity, a moral compass, working hard to achieve to boost his self-esteem, I’m constantly undermined with EVERYTHING and how so, 💰💰💰💰💰💰, expensive material goods, and surrounding him with all the family flying monkeys to confuse him that there is safety in numbers, whilst I, sadly, am an adult orphan, and all of my closest and longest friends live out of state, and momma here is alone. Danish, it’s pure torture. HE IS MY ONLY CHILD , and I only want the very best for him. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I could not have described it better. I have three sons and it seems some days I am not making headway but I pray and press on. It’s difficult teaching integrity, honesty, setting boundaries healthily, their body functions and parts, sex, work ethic, self regulation, books on how to be a man and other resources. It’s a lot.
@ I’m with ya momma!! 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
I need to add, i have four grown children now, one who is in heaven, but we are so in connection and full of love for each other, we dont need, but are sometime sad about the narc. But we have pulled through with the care and love we have for each other.
Danish, your videos saved my life and my kids from chronic depression. They provide me with much needed confirmation that I'm not crazy to choose to protect my kids mental health from my narcistic Ex husband by divorcing him through court ruling. The painful years I lived trying to divorce him was so worth it. I'm free. Thank you so much and see you soon on your upcoming webinar. I need to equip myself with more knowledge and understanding indeed. May Allah Bless you.🤩
Bro you are such a blessing. I love your Videos :)
I am so glad you are touching on this subject. Not many people talk about how to help our children. I'm still with my husband, desperately trying to find a counselor and navigate how to help them at the moment.
The abuse that a narcissist can inflict on their child would put someone in jail for life if that abuse came from a non parent adult. Just think about that, just because they are genetically bound it absolves all pain and suffering that cause to the entire life of the child. Disgusting
So true
My narcissist man drinks drinks drinks and gambles and steals from me and my kid when confronted he says he didn't do it or says it was a mistake won't happen again then does it again. Don't feel safe honestly no peace. Its all about him and when I need him he abandons me.
My narc mom wonder why I do not let her see her grandson and keeps her on a very limited diet of information. She tells me angrilly: I dont know why you do this, I raised you, you should know me!!, My answer very calmly: Exactly, You raised me, I know.
Oh my God, how can I save my children
Just pray The Most High remove him or her!!
Run
Sign up for Danish's course asap!
@J Brown
GREAT advice. The TMH YAH will help you even if you can't even help yourself. That is not a scripture. But I understand what you saying.
HIS grace and help for the helpless.
@@soeumsoeun4646that is my prayer in Jesus name Amen
Always, great videos. Your info is so spot on and is giving so much comforting and possible ways to overcome the awful ordeals these narcissistic people impose on our lives. I was fortunate to be adopted and experienced loving, caring but a bold and respectful upbringing with lots of love from my parents. So when i met and had to deal with the opposite narc family, i was astounded how cruel they could be. I stood my ground always, even alone. The cruel madness of these empty peoples. Just get as far away as possible and never get soft and think i will give them a second chance. They wont change !!! Much love and respect to all who suffer or have suffered these people !!!
This is exactly what I have been going through. But she notices it and immediately alerts her fellow succubus or liliths or witches to block me and put difficulties along my path like financial punishments . There is a dark force that envelopes the circle they are in. I had the same issue with my kids. There was no structure from her side no discipline and I was always frowned upon by trying to haveca structure and discipline. This video explains clearly why this was happening. Now my first son cannot face the world and its impact can be seen in his attitude to work and in taking advice from others. It is a very sad state. Kids are completely destroyed and for me it was so exhausting to play the dual parent and have some structure and discipline. How would little children realise this and understand what is good for them. It is a terrible sin and may God himself deal with it. We have no power over the forces of darkness that operate in this situation. I try to give them a safe space but they attack us financially and otherwise to cut us down so that we cannot do anything. They have a system that makes those who try to do the right thing get lost in the technicalities and give up. The worst is that they have a surveillance system that informs them of your every move so that they are updated and adapt. If you try to get justice for them, they use their magic and also make it look like you are the problem. So it is very well crafted and orchestrated. You are cornered in every move. You cannot even get help from the school. I have literally seen my son being destroyed year by year and you can call them and they don't do anything. Because the system is that way it's a reactive rather than proactive system. And especially where these kids think that the parent who makes life so easy and nice for them loves them more only makes it so hard to convince them until they realise it much later in their life when the damage is already done. I feel so sorry for all of them but what can we do when she is their mother? I feel so sorry and pray for all the dads or moms dealing with this. The worst is those who are not having this problem can never ever know and they will never understand even if you try to explain to them. Even explaining it is so exhausting!
Today after more than 10 years of my ex partner’s manipulative behaviour towards our child (because he can’t get to me) I’ve had enough!
I spoke to my daughter and said that we can’t thrive and have a good relationship with him always trying to ruin it with messages and so on. She actually said she didn’t mind if she didn’t see him because he doesn’t really talk to her, do anything with her or sometimes let’s others look after her when she’s with him (which is only once a month or when he decides to turn up)
It was eating away at me inside, always trying to justify his lies or questioning myself over how I parent.
I’m also going to get Narcissistic abuse counselling in the New Year to better our relationship as mother and daughter and to heal myself.
I’ll see if my daughter will chat to a professional too. She’s only 12 years old so she may not be ready to but I’ll ask her.
Thanks. One good thing about not having kids is not yet having to worry about this part.
I made a point of not having a child with him. Definitive end of 8nyr relationship. God bless the child.
Co-parenting with my ex is so difficult. He got primary custody by forcing me to have to move a little over an hour away snd therefore forfeiting 50/50 ( long story) by not abiding by the divorce decree and my lawyer refused to help because (I found out months later) she retired from public practice as soon as the paperwork was signed. Still fighting for my children.
I'm right there with you, Sister. Still fighting for my children. My story is a long story as well. People typically don't understand
Me too friend. Marc ex husband has full custody, my Narc mother has grandparents rights. Just trying to love them and be their safe space.
Thx! Some more advice I can give to my sis, who is in exactly this situation. The 3 kids r always so out of it once they return from their narc father. (The son is the golden child and the dauhters get ignored or worse.) And then my sis even has to listen to those clueless outsiders, who tell her how lucky she is that their father is sooo interested in his children... my ass🤦♀️they don't realise that they r just a tool for him to improve his outside image and to torment my sis even further! The oldest girl (9yo) told my sis that her daddy doesn't even talk to the girls when they r there...
Brava for supporting your sister and nephews in this terrible experience!! I'm in a similar position, but I'm still unfortunately living with my narc husband and trying to protect my kids from this madness. We need more family like you who understands what NPD is about❤
@@Titpomderen8 so true, ppl in a situation like this need all the help possible!
Yes my son took his own life … run and never look back
Dear god danish every word true he’s doing this to my daughter
My second husband tried to prove I was an unfit mother when I was fighting a custody battle with him. I allowed him to take her away from Wagga to Armidale on her eighth birthday he remarried and it didn't work out she divorced him as well my daughter ran away from him at. the age of twelve she became a heroin addict and prostitute. She now lives in Melbourne alone and I said no to her for the first time today and she is thirty eight in December. Her father is a narcissist and on his third marriage. He totally ignored his daughter. I love my daughter very much and I feel for her and what she has been through and now. I do feel a lot better myself for saying no to her and will keep saying no to her when she wants money especially when I believe she could be a narcissist as well. Thanks Danish I am healing.😊
I'm in this right now and he's completely right. The narc will do anything to try to trigger you and use the kids.
My ex narcissistic husband try to manipulate my pets because we didn't have kids together. He let them behave badly to annoy me.He finally wanted to poison them.
Dear god no 🙏
A narcs brain is just sooo twisted. Bruuuh!
@@isabell746 missing a brain, heart and soul
My ex narc wife threatened to poison both my dog and myself.
Omg I was looking for a video on this topic. Thanks
Thank you for answering my question as part of my registration process for your online course. Wonderful support and tools to use. See you on June 3rd.
He‘s done anything That the kids loose them life from any reason possible. Facilitate contexts and refuse to intervine if there is any health problem or any kind of probleme conscious caused by him
I divorced my ex narcissist and was in court for 5 years after as he entangled my youngest daughter to debilitate me however he could hanging her in the balance. I had to sign off all custody of her to him in order to release her from him in the middle of his clutches . My eldest turned 18 and got out of the middle. From 12-17 it was hell now she and I are trying to recover her. I’m doing mending the soul now and I feel for anyone caught within such 👿 Stand firm and don’t give up. Danish has had some of the best videos confirming all the layers and tactics you weren’t aware of or need to understand. Now I know where his insight comes from going through this and how he’s paying it forward here on this platform. 🙏🏻🌈♥️✨ Appreciate your ability and steadfast support here!!🦚❤️🔥
My Narcissistic Mother kidnapped my daughter, I have been battling her in court for 5 years and she has money also so she is able to persuade the ones who work for the court. She has found out somehow that I had an escape plan and took my daughter when I was sleeping. I have done everything the court has asked , yet she is not and took her out of state lines while in court. She has made it so I have not physically seen or hugged my daughter in 5 years due to parental alienating and refusing visitation.
I just don't know how to get my daughter away from her abuse... My daughter is being totally brainwashed and I can't say anything due to the way the orders were written ... I FINALLY got a Lawyer and we are baffled how the new court reporter and the lawyer for my daughter think that my daughter should stay with her!
Any thoughts???
Btw I really appreciate you I take what you educate me with to hear and practice.
Thank you
You are a blessing to many people 🙏 substance abuse is common
Truth, both mother and father . It really hard. My son's are paying the price.
This was wonderful very specific advice that helps me navigate this difficult situation. I haven’t been able to find a lot of content out there like this so far, so I really appreciate it. Thank you!
Definitely, my husband's like a masochistic bully jock and my son became a nurse (as is his girlfriend), he's also a great mechanic but didn't like group sports, quite the challenge for me, glad I stuck up for my son and he's a wonderful gentle human being!
My ex husband agreed to every other weekend with the children. I then found out that he left them with anyone he could and didn't spend the time with them at all!
So when the children were 12 and 14, they rebelled and refused to visit. His anger was extreme and dragged me through the courts. The children spoke to social workers, explaining how they felt. The social workers didn't believe them but the judge did!
They were given choice. They chose not to go. When they went to university both of them tried to start a relationship with him as an equal, he wouldn't have it. They see him rarely now, sadly they saw him for what he was.
I am so glad that I cut ties. It's not good for your mental health. It does mess up your nerve system. Parents who emotionally abuse their kids are evil 😈
I AGREE WITH YOU AND A PERSON CANT CO PARENT WITH A NARC...I HAD TO BE THE SAFETY NET FOR MY DAUGHTER..THIS WAS EXCELLANT THANK YOU!!!
Thank you so much for all this information I’m definitely going to register. Could you also do a post for children, meaning I have 20 year old boy girl twins, and they have a narcissistic father. I would love for you to focus on the kids so I can show them a video of what they can do to help themselves With a narcissistic parent especially for my son because he is struggling so much. I’m so afraid for my son because he’s so fearful of his narcissistic father and it’s almost like he is looking up to him and putting him up on a pedestal and I try to explain to him Not to. But I just don’t think he understands or he’s just too afraid not to. So if you could post some thing for sons of narcissistic fathers to help them, realize that no matter how much they praise them and put them up on a pedestal. They will never receive the love that they are looking for. Thank you so much!
Sadly now that he's an adult he'll have to see it for himself one day. They're already trained to form a blind loyalty to their abuser.
It's a spiritual battle.
Pray 🙏
I agree. When you yell you get nowhere. But if you direct them with tough love not rough love they will get a better understanding instead of discipling them. Do bully them mentor them and guide them. They learn and comprehend from example
I think the only realistic solution is sole custody with supervised visitation or none at all.
I agree, but the courts believe the mother first in my country, I'll succeed in the end.
The court system in my country says ”children should have a chance to build a close relationship with both parents”. No matter what the father of my children does, as long as he’s not physically abusive towards the kids they give him time alone with my kids.. it breaks my heart to put them through this!!!
I admire your resilience and perseverance . Thankyou for sharing and for your empathy and compassion.❤
So helpful. I always knew i was the safe space. Now i understand so many behaviors. Thank you.
That's what I did. Biggest mistake I ever made. Just run, they will turn against you eventually anyway. Your narc will find the right reinforcements. Its not worth it unless you live for being able to say " I took the high road".
Very good informative video
I'm relieved and reassured that I'm on track with giving my granddaughter a safe, dependable adult.
Thankyou Danish 🙏🏻
Yep. That's why I stayed. I realised that if I put myself first and walked out I'd be leaving young children with an emotional nut job. So I stayed.
The children benefitted greatly.
The cost to me was REALLY HIGH.
Thank you sir
Best thing I ever did was let my narcissist know I will be protecting my littles from them!🤭🤣😂
What happened , I just told my x point blank he will not abuse my 2 yo like he does everyone else , all I got was middle finger emoji
Thank you!!!
Thank you Danish! You aways look at the practical things in this difficult relationship
immensely helped. i now know i am doing what is right for me and my children
Thank you, Danish. This helps my question from yesterday.
Awesome video Danish I just need it 5 to 15 years ago but always good to learn & I hope it helps another empath n their kids ❤
Thank you so much for the great teaching.
Exactly done same thing to us. now iam not alone your guidelines r there to follow thank you bro..
Every first evening the kids came to me they where fighting and stressful.
When I have my baby girl I'm going to protect her with my life.
Thank you so much for clear and specific advice
Great advice Danish, thank you 🙏
Glad you are doing a workshop on this because I did it for 10 years my way and it worked. But it would’ve been easier had I known what she was back then and had a workshop to help me.
Thank you so much for this.
Great Video Beloved .Peace
Thanks mister you are awsome
Lol. Me too. It is hell on earth growing up with crazies in and out of family.
Could you please do a video that addresses the narcissist who becomes even worse when they drink alcohol? I'm living with one and would love the info.
I tried to be this kind of step parent to my Narcs children but they are his devoted flying monkeys, literally pretending not to see me.
My kids must remain in the real world, on a foundation of love.
Spot on. Thank you for brilliant advice.
Spot on 👍👏
Thank u for this video
Good advice and suggestions
I'm dealing with this..I have a 3 year old with a covert narcissist....I'm a wreck cuz she litterally treat the kid like a cat and since I already made my exit due to realizing the abusive dynamic I was under...she don't even teach the kid and now she wants to claim it's cuz he's autistic..but he's treated like a pet or pair of shoes as far as love..help!
Beautiful vedio
The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. That's what narcissists can't do.
Im strongly thinking of leaving my husband 10 years can't do it anymore and i have a little kid. I think Im trauma bonded.
💯💯💯
I ain’t loving no one who don’t love me !
@@gpal4843 I stayed 33 years. My husband turned our children against me. That's what happens when you stay.
So true exactly
I was raised in abuse. I was making steps to flee..called the police because my son assaulted me and then I was asked to leave the house and children chose to stay with the narc dad..I let the police question them without me present. I'm exhausted and wondering if I should give them up now.
It’s sad to know that both your parents were narcissist. How did you survive the constant abuse Danish?
If you don’t mind, could you please share with us your journey 🙏
It would help a lot. Thanks
Thnq anna for all knowledge sharing with us. Hope victims will try to implement and attain peace and work on it🙏
Genius level
May I ask you, Danish, how did you survive to a malignant father and a covert mother becoming a healthy person, if you feel you are?
It really causes me admiration
He has always tried his hardest to turn my 2 sons against me. The only time he gave them attention is when he was raging at them. My youngest son slept with a knife in his bedroom. My sons are now grown & the youngest has moved out. My oldest son is still living with me & the demon. The creepy old monster still puts us through living hell. He goes to my sons home raging for money. He wants all the money my son's make on their jobs. He is raging for their money. He treats us all like garbage. I do my best to protect my sons. It is difficult when dealing with a demon.
It is such a mess. They even threaten you and can even kill you. What can we do especially if we are poor, weak and kind. We are sitting ducks
Pray, pray, pray, work on your own self-esteem and power (positive affirmations etc.) and look for good people and organizations to help❤ We are not powerless and God will not forsake us!!
This is true
Would be helpful to know more about the special and different challenges when the narcissistic parent is a vulnerable/covert narcissist.
My both parents are malignant narcist husband is a covert narcist and dont know what to do
When ur ex and own father both are narcs
Kids are always with my dad being a single parent i have to earn step out etc do other things
I have an issue with payment for the masterclass. Where can I contact you on private?
It takes time for the children to transition between homes of divorced parents. Chaos within the children that takes a day for them to settle. They can choose to stay with one parent starting at age 12.
Here he makes them do what is rite but at the same time keeps telling them that i am bad n crazy ... i am mad n not to listen to me .. even before i tell them what to do he tells them to do
That is very true. I am a grown child of this creepy woman.
How! Courts give them partial custody no matter what now! If you stay you will most likely become ill and possibly die, and leave your child a helpless victim. What do you do?
Danish try and explain that to people who know the public persona of the narcissist only. Try and explain that to the narcissist's relatives who did not grow up with them who have not experienced their dark side yet too. Try and explain that to a lot of people who work in the family court system who believe myths and lies about the nature of crminal domestic violence and exploitation of others? All of whom unless they have themselves direct experienced loss like the narcissist breaking into their garage to steal property as punishment for not paying them back when promised or whatever then good luck with that. I can however continue to practise good parenting skills to the best of my ability for sure though.Watching videos on strategies to help do that better which focuses more on on relationship and helpful predictable structure present for them.
This used to be me they just don’t let you be they just don’t understand
Can a narcissistic parent can be the other way very strict in what they should do and not to do ... like setting rules like for their betterment and not bad
Often enough both parents are Narcissists, than what?
Mine were. The way to succeed is to something you which no one else expected you to do. Because behind your back they ruin your image, they do not want you to succeed, once you do, they are shocked, all their 'hard work' goes down the drain.
Well if you grow up with two narccistic parents u are definetly gnna have traits whether u are better then then or worse then them. We are a mimetic species we copy what we see and hear. But the reason some succumb and some don't is bcuz there are hella influences other then parents in life. The TV shows u watch. The cartoons. The movies, the books u read. The friends you meet. The coaches you have the teachers at school you have. Any other family members. Just watching things in nature. All this comes into play of the life lessons you learn and personality traits u aquire.
My mother is probably of the vulnerable type. She manifests bad health (bad lifestyle choices) to make people feel like she is a helpless old lady. My dad was smewhat angry when he was dying. Still not sure of his status because he died before learning about narcissism. Buuut.....mom was very mean to my dad when he was dying. She could have caused many of the problems he was showing near the end.