I keep finding myself coming back to these videos - this one in particular. Another video which was a game changer for me was giving them a choice with the same outcome. Either they can walk to the car themselves, or I can carry them to the car. It removes any fighting straight away because I know immediately my action plan if they resist. Less stress for me.
My child is 4 years old. She is very argumentative. Anytime i tell her to clean , or come inside when we are done playing she gets very upset and frustrated. She will grunt , scream and roll her eyes , threaten to hit or simply go and hide. I am usually very short and straight to the point. My husband on the other hand believes we need to explain everything to the kids. They do tend to listen to me more than their father. She tells us all time any time the fun ends that we are being mean and throw fits even at our calmest. Then it will escalate to raising our voices.
Madi Lea, thank you for watching Live On Purpose TV. A major key to get your child to listen is to turn your words from garbage to gold. We have many more videos to help you on our Positive Parenting playlist: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU.html
Nope doesn't work. Why do I have to ask my daughter to sit in her High Chair properly at least 6 times in a calm manner? By the 6th time I am done and offer her a choice of sitting properly and eating her lunch or going without lunch and straight to bed.
One time is enough - followed by an appropriate consequence. You are training her to listen to and take seriously your calm voice that way. Turn the words from garbage into gold! Also, you might be interested in the Parenting Power-up course. Get a free sneak peek here: parentingpowerup.com - thanks for watching! DrPaul
I truly enjoy your advice and delivery on the topics that you cover. So much so I have referred you to a handful of friends. Do you have something regarding "how to deal with ungrateful teens/kids"?
Let me up through a very common situation : Once the screen time is done will you switch off the tv by ur self or do u want me to put it of for u!! Obviously he doesn't listen, so I switch off the TV and the crying, tantrums begins. What do it do in such situations????
Let him know that with that reaction he is showing you he is not mature enough to have the privilege and won't get to play next time. Remind him why he isn't playing and then when he does get the privilege, let him know that you will be monitoring his behavior when it is time to end the game and he can earn the opportunity to play again when he reacts calmly.
I have a 5 year old. Using the example of cleaning the room. If she chooses that I clean her room for her how do I tell or show her the “price” of me doing it instead?
Essence Ciera, thanks for watching and trying to understand. It depends on the child and the resources that are available. Charging most likely will not work on a child who has no concept of money. That is just an example. Maybe her "fine" for you cleaning the room is you take possession of some of her toys for a week. She will not like that and it may help her to be motivated to clean her room or help you, depending on her age.
Thank you for watching and trying to understand, B-ROCK. If you end up cleaning your child's room, they need to pay you. If they don't have money, it could be loss of a privilege - one that would be painful for them, like no tablet (or whatever they have) for a few days.
It is a myth that parents automatically are no longer boss when the child is 18, or 21, or whatever. The reality is, nothing ends, as long as a child happens to remain dependent on them.
mikey garcia, get clear on what you control and what you don't, then use that. You can have dinner, when your room is clean. We can go to the park, when your room is clean.
I developed a private communication with my child. I show him one finger it means now. 2 fingers 2 minutes. 5 fingers 5 minutes. If not accomplished there is consequence. We wink our eye to say I love you, 2 times your welcome. Lifting 1 eyebrow means we need to talk about it in private.
@@LiveOnPurposeTVthank u so much for replying!!! Secretly a fangirl from Singapore. Hehehe. What I meant if it's backfired. In response to the theory " if you not gonna clean, it than I will"
@@Notyourplainjane he talked about it in another video: you only offer to clean it for them if they pay you somehow. For example: if you clean their room for them, they have to pay a fine. It could mean losing a privilege they really enjoy for a day. And you have to stick with it. So next time you give them a choice again, they know that if they choose that you clean for them, they'll get a unpleasant consequence too.
Shamira Navina, it is difficult to change the patterns, but possible. Expect lots of push back from children when the pattern is changed, but stay firm.
I hope this video gave you some ideas, Pretty Energy. We have more ideas on our Positive Parenting playlist: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU.html We even did a 5-day "How To Get Kids To Listen Without Yelling" challenge - here it is if you want to try it: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPAcEW3S3spSI62Xx0mEZwVS.html Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV!
Okay but, the kids in the household I'm in, ONLY respond when you yell, 3 boys 10, 5, 4, and they only listen when their mom yells at them, any other time, they laugh. 🤷🏼♀️
To each their own. I actually find his voice and the way the topic is presented engaging. When anyone watches a video you take in about 10%. Maybe watch it another 10 times and you might get something out of it. :)
I keep finding myself coming back to these videos - this one in particular. Another video which was a game changer for me was giving them a choice with the same outcome. Either they can walk to the car themselves, or I can carry them to the car. It removes any fighting straight away because I know immediately my action plan if they resist. Less stress for me.
Mariah, and we want less stress for parents so you can Keep Calm and Parent On.
Yea that strategy works like a charm
Omg! I want to watch all of your videos! The quality is great! Thank you so much!
Leticia I'm honored - thanks for watching! DrPaul
My child is 4 years old. She is very argumentative. Anytime i tell her to clean , or come inside when we are done playing she gets very upset and frustrated. She will grunt , scream and roll her eyes , threaten to hit or simply go and hide. I am usually very short and straight to the point. My husband on the other hand believes we need to explain everything to the kids. They do tend to listen to me more than their father. She tells us all time any time the fun ends that we are being mean and throw fits even at our calmest. Then it will escalate to raising our voices.
Madi Lea, thank you for watching Live On Purpose TV. A major key to get your child to listen is to turn your words from garbage to gold. We have many more videos to help you on our Positive Parenting playlist: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU.html
Action speaks louder than words
You should interview kids about this topic.
That would be fun.
I'm going to try this today I will start
Nice - thanks for watching Ally! DrPaul
Nope doesn't work. Why do I have to ask my daughter to sit in her High Chair properly at least 6 times in a calm manner? By the 6th time I am done and offer her a choice of sitting properly and eating her lunch or going without lunch and straight to bed.
One time is enough - followed by an appropriate consequence. You are training her to listen to and take seriously your calm voice that way. Turn the words from garbage into gold! Also, you might be interested in the Parenting Power-up course. Get a free sneak peek here: parentingpowerup.com - thanks for watching! DrPaul
Thanks DrPaul :)
💜💜💜thank you
You are welcome.
any suggestions on money and teens. money for education and should we give kids the responsibility or do we parents take it on ?
Here's a few thoughts about money and kids - DrPaul
th-cam.com/video/g2wghDf99Cw/w-d-xo.html
When you yell at your children, they see a deformed face. Therefore, you become the monster and they become afraid. #relationshipstuff101
Shaheer Henderson. Helps to have a mirror around to see what the kids are seeing. Good point.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you for the tips.
I truly enjoy your advice and delivery on the topics that you cover. So much so I have referred you to a handful of friends. Do you have something regarding "how to deal with ungrateful teens/kids"?
Melanie Figueroa, thanks for the idea. I will add it to the topic development list.
1079Hrezent View lane
Let me up through a very common situation : Once the screen time is done will you switch off the tv by ur self or do u want me to put it of for u!! Obviously he doesn't listen, so I switch off the TV and the crying, tantrums begins. What do it do in such situations????
Let him know that with that reaction he is showing you he is not mature enough to have the privilege and won't get to play next time. Remind him why he isn't playing and then when he does get the privilege, let him know that you will be monitoring his behavior when it is time to end the game and he can earn the opportunity to play again when he reacts calmly.
This might work with some children, but my son is exceptionally stubborn and usually results in him saying “I don’t care”.
I think it could work with him. Just don't get upset and use consequences. He is showing you he is on stage 1.
I have a 5 year old. Using the example of cleaning the room. If she chooses that I clean her room for her how do I tell or show her the “price” of me doing it instead?
Essence Ciera, thanks for watching and trying to understand.
It depends on the child and the resources that are available. Charging most likely will not work on a child who has no concept of money. That is just an example. Maybe her "fine" for you cleaning the room is you take possession of some of her toys for a week. She will not like that and it may help her to be motivated to clean her room or help you, depending on her age.
Do what you say
Yes, follow through.
Okay so what happened s once I clean his room and he had no consequences
Thank you for watching and trying to understand, B-ROCK. If you end up cleaning your child's room, they need to pay you. If they don't have money, it could be loss of a privilege - one that would be painful for them, like no tablet (or whatever they have) for a few days.
You should be giving consequences, then.
It is a myth that parents automatically are no longer boss when the child is 18, or 21, or whatever. The reality is, nothing ends, as long as a child happens to remain dependent on them.
JP X, hopefully we continue to have a relationship with our children, but they take more responsibility and make their own decisions.
What if the child says.."Yes, you can clean my room." I am not going to clean his room..he is going to grow up spoiled...is there any other option?
mikey garcia, get clear on what you control and what you don't, then use that. You can have dinner, when your room is clean. We can go to the park, when your room is clean.
I developed a private communication with my child.
I show him one finger it means now. 2 fingers 2 minutes. 5 fingers 5 minutes. If not accomplished there is consequence. We wink our eye to say I love you, 2 times your welcome.
Lifting 1 eyebrow means we need to talk about it in private.
This is great. You are wonderful.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you! 😊 love your personality and
Love your channel.
What if they say "ok mom, no problem " then it becomes a habit for me to clean up their room instead??!
Ashah SA, why are you cleaning it up? They should be doing it and maybe they don't get dinner until it is done.
@@LiveOnPurposeTVthank u so much for replying!!! Secretly a fangirl from Singapore. Hehehe.
What I meant if it's backfired. In response to the theory " if you not gonna clean, it than I will"
@@Notyourplainjane he talked about it in another video: you only offer to clean it for them if they pay you somehow. For example: if you clean their room for them, they have to pay a fine. It could mean losing a privilege they really enjoy for a day. And you have to stick with it.
So next time you give them a choice again, they know that if they choose that you clean for them, they'll get a unpleasant consequence too.
Speaking calmly doesn't work with my 4yr old... Screaming doesn't work.. smacking doesn't work.. He just doesn't get it
meo80, stay calm and parent on.
This probably wont work for certain parents because they already trained their child to behave a certain way and not take them serious.
Shamira Navina, it is difficult to change the patterns, but possible. Expect lots of push back from children when the pattern is changed, but stay firm.
I’m so upset that my kids don’t listen especially my 3 yo daughter I’m trying to learn a better method because it’s not useful
I hope this video gave you some ideas, Pretty Energy. We have more ideas on our Positive Parenting playlist: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU.html
We even did a 5-day "How To Get Kids To Listen Without Yelling" challenge - here it is if you want to try it: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPAcEW3S3spSI62Xx0mEZwVS.html
Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV!
what if the child answer “ can you clean the room”
When you give the child two choices, and you control one and they try to choose another option, you put the one that you have control over into play.
If i say i will clean the room for my son he will say u only do it..
Okay but, the kids in the household I'm in, ONLY respond when you yell, 3 boys 10, 5, 4, and they only listen when their mom yells at them, any other time, they laugh. 🤷🏼♀️
ccyanide snacc, sounds like they are all on Stage 1 and only consequences work on this stage. Consistent and firm consequences.
My dad yelled at me really loud. I was really scared. That's why I was always a well behaved child.
You mean you'd clean their room?
@@sifugurusensei I was oppsite the more I was scare the more I made mistake .
At time my mumma yellow to me I was terrified!!!
Doesn't work
Sorry these suggestions did not work for you tifah boyd. Thank you for watching.
Hitting?
Regis Philbin *THE LEGEND* , not a fan of hitting.
His way of Talking is really annoying
Thanks for the feedback, Nehal D.
10 minute wasted. Nothing new said. Even the person’s voice is annoying
Sandra Avalos, thanks for trying.
To each their own. I actually find his voice and the way the topic is presented engaging. When anyone watches a video you take in about 10%. Maybe watch it another 10 times and you might get something out of it. :)