I've owned a new in box Hyperscan for months and can't bring myself to take it out of the box; not because it will diminish what little value the console has, but because playing it will diminish what little value my life has.
Actually I'd argue the Neo Geo CD loads faster. Here's why; it went through almost two loading sequences plus a cutscene in the time it took the Hyperscan to do just one loading sequence.
If you're wondering how the Hyperscan is better than the R-Zone, at least the former isn't a poorly-disguised bootleg of a poorly-disguised bootleg (the Virtual Boy is Nintendo's first counterfeit console).
In one Goodwill advertisement on TV in the mid-2000's with people donating stuff to a Goodwill place, there was a Hyperscan controller shown in the ad. This may have been a 2007 promo.
I remember that system. I wanted to get one when I was 8, but I never did, and they eventually stopped selling it. I thought that I missed out on something cool, but after seeing this video, I can tell I didn't miss out on anything.
My god! This review made my day, i laughed so much! That screen loading competition was justs incredible. Great job Mark, where else i would find that this console existed.
Not gonna lie....if they packaged these in cereal boxes as the prize....making them smaller somehow......(do they even put toys in cereal anymore?)........then, this thing would actually be pretty cool. ...or maybe just the cards. ....but yeah, then the console itself would have to not suck as much :/ (Also* ....all prizes probably come in the form of a text code nowadays :( ....the 90's were better :P )
Keanu Huezo I believe the removal of free toys from cereals has more to do with the government putting tighter restrictions on how unhealthy cereals are allowed to promote their product to children at least in the UK.
I use to have one of these... I loved it! People would come over and ask what it is and I'd say "Why thats my paperweight!". It was the best paper weight in the world!!!
I can finally say- "I have seen it all!" I thought I would never see the day Mark not happy with a video game. This was genuinely funny...your kids could be stabbing each other with forks! Genius!
wow... this game system sadly helped inspire skylanders and amiibo... i... i don't know what to say about that. i guess shit can inspire gold sometimes.
I remember buying this when I was little and the X-men game that came with it, was broken and it was hard as hell to find a copy of the games,worst 20 I ever spent
Dapp The Possum I STILL have mine, don't know exactly where it is but I have it. Never really got to play it since it was discontinued so early but I think that was for the better.
I just ordered one of these from ebay. It came with everything, all the games, all the cards, etc... for like $8. I'm going to definitely do some reviews for my channel.
You're scanning it the wrong way. The first 6 x-men cards that the system came with had a huge target on the back of the card, marking where you're supposed to scan it. After I got new cards and sometimes forgot how to scan it correctly, I always looked back at one of those 6 cards as a reference. When you scan it on that magic spot, it will work instantly, every time.
Dude, back in the day we was popping a tape into a tape deck and waiting 10 minutes for Operation Wolf to load (ZX Spectrum) and if you looked at the tape deck the wrong way during the load it would crash and force you to start again.
I remember Hyperscan the first time it was in the toy store BR, so it's made for kids. There was also Spiderman handheld Something like Tiger Electronics. So it is made for children, therefore was cheap😅
Maximal True. I could spend that money on two pairs of leather pants, or a cheap trench coat, or a sword, or a used gun, or a bunch of other things. My laptop could do whatever the Ouya can do.
Because GTA 5 is loading a bunch of good-looking, high-res graphics and a huge, expansive sandbox to have fun in. Most of the time it's worth the wait. It should not take that goddamn long to load in a small set of 2D sprites.
I almost bought one of these in late 2006, walmart already had these down to $25 in the clearance aisle at the time, down from $69. It looked like crap even then, I was looking at it because I thought it was funny as hell, and even then, I was collecting consoles, and I thought why not? I ended up not getting it. This review is Hilarious!
Come back and review Video game systems and Video games again Mark! I would watch them just like I'm watching this Review. You know your tired of making comic book videos!
I came here for a giggle cause I just found my old one with the X-men game. But I was shocked at how well my cards scanned and how quickly. I think you were scanning the front of the card when it should be the Back of the card lol.
As I understand it (and the load times from the disc vs the cards support this theory), the cards actually had no data at all. All the characters were on the disc and scanning the cards was a roundabout way of selecting them. There was no possibility of expansion content by new cards after a games launch. At best, developers could plan ahead and have cards from opposite games interact with each other, but that never happened either.
I liked it, too! Granted, I sold it at a garage sale, but that's just because I didn't play much. Part of the problem he's having with the cards is that he's scanning them on the wrong side. You are supposed to put that target over the center of the scan part.
The ending to this video is hilarious i could not stop laughing at the commentary during the loading times, oh man it was funny..well done Mark, well done!
The Hyperscan is more reminiscent of some kind of stuff from the "AOL Time Warner" days. Think of it as something in a regular house with lighting similar to the 2002 independent movie, One Hour Photo and with stuff that's more "Warner Home Video" days from 2000-2001. These Hyperscans were released in the "A TimeWarner Company" days of 2006, but is more appropriate in very late 2001, 2002 and mid-2003.
Andrew Bond Why are you getting so defensive?, which console had the better games is subjective, I was just saying that the PS3/360 had better graphics due the fact that the Wii was severely underpowered for that gen. That fact cannot be denied.
cloudtx I'm just saying that the NES will have more value in the future than the 360 will because the NES was one of the first of its kind. before the NES there was pong. and that's basically what happened all through the 70's and early 80's. then a revolution was born. and till this day I firmly believe that they still hold up quite nicely
"It usually takes a good half hour to scan one of these cards" omg!!!! Dead. Fucking dead. I was laughing for a good half hour until my face was hurting.
Let me see,okay here are the games for the ps4: Killzone shadow fall Infamous second son Oddworld:New and Tasty Destiny COD AW The evil within The last of us remasterd GTA 5 remasterd Far Cry 4 The order 1886 Driveclub The Crew Dynasty Warrior 8 xtreme legends Wofenstein the new order Watch_Dogs Battlefield 4 Assasin's Creed Unity COD Ghost Dying Light Middle Earth:Shadow of Mordor Knack Evolve Diablo 3 FIFA 15 NBA 2K15 NBA 2K14 FIFA 14 Dragon Age:Inquistion Metal Gear Solid 5:The Phantom Pain Alien:Isolation The Elder Scrolls:Online Need for Speed:Rivals Lego Batman 3:Beyond Gotham Little Big Planet 3 Metal Gear Solid 5:Ground Zeroes Disney Infinity Skylanders:Trap Team Tales from the Borderlands Madden NFL 15 The Walking Dead Games of Thrones Total:41 games There will be more upcoming games like Uncharted 4 and Batman Arkham Knight Yeah,do your research first
In the defense of the NeoGeo, the HyperScan loaded one single game, the other game however loaded a little cutscene, then loaded the game, so in my book the NeoGeo won, due to the fact that it went through 2 loading screens while the HyperScan went through one.
You know, the Neo Geo CD actually won. The contest was about which console loaded the slowest, which was Pulstar. So why was Mark so disappointed about Pulstar loading slower?
Those are not S-Video cables for the controllers, they are PS/2 ports. You know, developed by IBM, introduced in 1987 to replace serial mouse ports, the little green and purple plugs you'd have seen on the back of PCs prior to everything moving to USB (Though you may still find some green/purple adaptors in some of your USB products.) It is a valid input port, just.. outdated, like everything in the Hyperscan.
I remember when this first came out, and a tech reviewer in my local news paper wrote an article that pretty much said this console was a good alternative for parent who didn't wan't to spend a lot of money on the xbox 360, ps3, or wii. that was the first and last time I ever heard about this console until now. I didn't even remember the name of it, and who made it.
I've owned a new in box Hyperscan for months and can't bring myself to take it out of the box; not because it will diminish what little value the console has, but because playing it will diminish what little value my life has.
Freaking sell it.
I keep forgetting I own it. It just sits under my desk lol. If it doesn't disintegrate by then, I'll try to sell it for a 50 cent profit :P
WTF! It's 65$ on Amazon!
A Black Guy Talks About sell it for 50 cents, i have some spare cents.
@Mr. Graves collectors will
Slogan "You'll have your kids playing outside in no time!"
you know a console sucks bad when even Mark cant find any good thing about it
He said that the cards look nice.
+TheOmeglePoodle That's not part of the console tho
+Zach Plays it's something good
At least it's not the Laughing Joking Numbnuts Video Art.
That loading screen race was gold. XD
yes but I'm pissed the hyperscan won
Actually I'd argue the Neo Geo CD loads faster. Here's why; it went through almost two loading sequences plus a cutscene in the time it took the Hyperscan to do just one loading sequence.
I remember how badly I wanted one of these... The child I once was is stupid
NeffJeff95 my bro got one
Yeah screw a Playstation or an x box. Hyper scan is where it's at
Lol!
I mean, if it actually worked correctly and was popular enough, it probably would be one of the top consoles.
All these years later I still think this is your funniest review :) Laugh out loud quality
Still better than the R-Zone.
Truth!
If you're wondering how the Hyperscan is better than the R-Zone, at least the former isn't a poorly-disguised bootleg of a poorly-disguised bootleg (the Virtual Boy is Nintendo's first counterfeit console).
And LJN Video Art by a mile!
I like how Mark rarely says something sucks, but when he does, he's so optimistic about it.
Hyperscan?.... More like HyperSCAM
I actually can't believe this even reached store shelves that's messed up
this is the best thing ever....
A Firm Of Scamming
Honestly i think it's a pretty interesting and unique concept, just very poorly executed
Thanks for making these videos. It brings me back to when TH-cam was awesome
i never had so much fun watching a loading screen. :D
It looks like Batman's George Forman grille.
Which is why it looked like something Batman himself would throw out of the Batcave.
It looks like an enormous turd from LJN land even though this console wasn't made by LJN.
This looks like my old waffle maker.
haha lol !
Your waffle maker sounds amazing if it can do that Hyper Scan pattern on the waffles.
GCab You could fill a truck with waffles, and It loads just one pixel of the loading bar
In one Goodwill advertisement on TV in the mid-2000's with people donating stuff to a Goodwill place, there was a Hyperscan controller shown in the ad. This may have been a 2007 promo.
I remember that system. I wanted to get one when I was 8, but I never did, and they eventually stopped selling it. I thought that I missed out on something cool, but after seeing this video, I can tell I didn't miss out on anything.
The Neo-Geo CD has slow loading times, but hey that console gives to you good games, also if you use CDZ, you will have minor loading times.
I heard of the neo Geo cdz, but never saw one in real life.
The Cards remind of the animal crossing amiibo cards
This is baisically what it is. It's amiibos without fancy figures and good games attached to them.
A 56k modem is faster than the HyperScan.
Allie-RX i like your videos
This is a way to punish children. Take away all other gaming systems & buy them this.
My god! This review made my day, i laughed so much! That screen loading competition was justs incredible. Great job Mark, where else i would find that this console existed.
Not gonna lie....if they packaged these in cereal boxes as the prize....making them smaller somehow......(do they even put toys in cereal anymore?)........then, this thing would actually be pretty cool.
...or maybe just the cards. ....but yeah, then the console itself would have to not suck as much :/
(Also* ....all prizes probably come in the form of a text code nowadays :( ....the 90's were better :P )
It would be like Chex Quest
good question about the cereal box prizes LOL
Alex Pegrum and don't forget "how the grinch stole christmas" promo movie influenced game that came in a fruit loops box
Keanu Huezo I believe the removal of free toys from cereals has more to do with the government putting tighter restrictions on how unhealthy cereals are allowed to promote their product to children at least in the UK.
9 years later and I'm back here.........and Ben is still 10 years old.
Ben heck should make a hyperscan portable the next time he loses a bet.
Golden Grenadier
That was the funniest review Mark's done in a while. That had me rolling with laughter. Thanks, Mark.
FACK its already been over 13 months I remember this vid like it came out yesterday
I use to have one of these... I loved it! People would come over and ask what it is and I'd say "Why thats my paperweight!". It was the best paper weight in the world!!!
I can finally say- "I have seen it all!" I thought I would never see the day Mark not happy with a video game. This was genuinely funny...your kids could be stabbing each other with forks! Genius!
Holy cow! I took a bathroom break on the Loading thingy and when I came back, it was still loading!
I’m so glad Pokémon didn’t join the library with their trading cards
One of the classic-est CGR reviews ever
The cards stick to the TV, which is surprisingly more fun to do than play the HyperScan.
Mark, thou hath review the gizmondo and the virtual boy on the double. The Blurry Whale demands it!
wow... this game system sadly helped inspire skylanders and amiibo... i... i don't know what to say about that.
i guess shit can inspire gold sometimes.
Some things are experiments. Like what the AVGN said about the Mega CD having technology that was too young.
thats very true, but generally experiments that fail and arent touched for a while rarely work out well later on like this...
+Daniel Williams you mean shit inspired shit
go back to ebay and pay 200 bucks for your rosalina toy you buttman.
Daniel Williams I ate Edward Furlong
3:28 - 4:34 What song is being used in this clip?
I remember buying this when I was little and the X-men game that came with it, was broken and it was hard as hell to find a copy of the games,worst 20 I ever spent
Same here lol. I played 1v1 with my brother for a few hours and never touched it again. The damn card sensor worked about 25% of the time...
I wanted one so bad, glad I didn't get one.
Dapp The Possum I STILL have mine, don't know exactly where it is but I have it. Never really got to play it since it was discontinued so early but I think that was for the better.
I just ordered one of these from ebay. It came with everything, all the games, all the cards, etc... for like $8. I'm going to definitely do some reviews for my channel.
Apparently, the X-Men game on the HyperScan was ranked better than Shaq-Fu by the Angry Video Game Nerd.
You're scanning it the wrong way. The first 6 x-men cards that the system came with had a huge target on the back of the card, marking where you're supposed to scan it. After I got new cards and sometimes forgot how to scan it correctly, I always looked back at one of those 6 cards as a reference. When you scan it on that magic spot, it will work instantly, every time.
Can you believe that there was going to be a Avatar game. Which is worse that or the movie?
yes
What do you mean "going to be"....there is an avatar game.
Steve Nugent Avatar: the last airbender was going to get a game on the hyper-scan.
***** I know but this would have been awful.
Dude, back in the day we was popping a tape into a tape deck and waiting 10 minutes for Operation Wolf to load (ZX Spectrum) and if you looked at the tape deck the wrong way during the load it would crash and force you to start again.
I remember Hyperscan the first time it was in the toy store BR, so it's made for kids. There was also Spiderman handheld Something like Tiger Electronics. So it is made for children, therefore was cheap😅
One of the best reviews from CGR ive seen, i know all of them are aewsome but this was awesomer!
"screw you hyperscan! you're slow AND impolite!"
died.
That intro tune is just so catchy...
Still better than OUYA
No just no.
Yes, just yes.
OUYA isn't that bad tho.
But its funny that you can buy better thing than Ouya for 99dlrs.
Maximal True. I could spend that money on two pairs of leather pants, or a cheap trench coat, or a sword, or a used gun, or a bunch of other things. My laptop could do whatever the Ouya can do.
With a little color change and small layout redesign, the controller might not be half bad...
Actually, I think the Neo Geo wins since it had to go through two loading times.
You mean the Neo Geo CD
+Tom Armour Whatever
+King Dray Yeah maaaan whatever dude.
I was recently donated a sealed retail box full of X-men Hyperscan cards and display, so I’m here to find out more about this gaming antique.
that load time aint shit GTA5 on my PS3 takes longer
but gta 5's worth it
Astar Productions And it only does it once when you start the game.
VGCinema No. just play online and you'll see.
Online mode
Because GTA 5 is loading a bunch of good-looking, high-res graphics and a huge, expansive sandbox to have fun in. Most of the time it's worth the wait.
It should not take that goddamn long to load in a small set of 2D sprites.
I almost bought one of these in late 2006, walmart already had these down to $25 in the clearance aisle at the time, down from $69. It looked like crap even then, I was looking at it because I thought it was funny as hell, and even then, I was collecting consoles, and I thought why not? I ended up not getting it.
This review is Hilarious!
Come back and review Video game systems and Video games again Mark! I
would watch them just like I'm watching this Review. You know your
tired of making comic book videos!
I came here for a giggle cause I just found my old one with the X-men game. But I was shocked at how well my cards scanned and how quickly. I think you were scanning the front of the card when it should be the Back of the card lol.
Except that the HyperScan has 3 f***ing loading screens.
Controller looks pretty cool, though. Never seen one where there was just a joystick and no D-Pad before.
The Controller maybe the only good thing about it
Mattel eh? Is this the spiritual successor to the intellivision?
+Duke Xander M. Campilan Campilan This is a travesty compared to the Intellivision.
Did you ever try placing the card on the scanner like, for example, the Amiibos, rather than vaguely hovering the corner above it?
Hyperscan? MORE LIKE HYPER FUCKIN' SHIT!
+scalpey LOOL This joke was stupid, but I laughed anyway
+Paulo Moniz (LOL laughed again)
+Paulo Moniz xD it was from angry video nerd
scalpey whats that?
Paulo Moniz hes a youtuber who plays horrible video games and video game consoles. i recommend you check him out!
As I understand it (and the load times from the disc vs the cards support this theory), the cards actually had no data at all. All the characters were on the disc and scanning the cards was a roundabout way of selecting them. There was no possibility of expansion content by new cards after a games launch. At best, developers could plan ahead and have cards from opposite games interact with each other, but that never happened either.
controller with no Dpad... wow
+DucValefor The Hyperscan controller looks like the bastard lovechild of the PlayStation controller.
I liked it, too! Granted, I sold it at a garage sale, but that's just because I didn't play much. Part of the problem he's having with the cards is that he's scanning them on the wrong side. You are supposed to put that target over the center of the scan part.
Hyperscan? More like HyperSCAM! Lol
Adam D Taken
Adam D mmm hmm.
+Adam D Fuck you
+Adam D LOL FUCK YOU
ummmm lol?
One of the best reviews in a long time! Thanks Mark.
Hyperscan? More like the HyperSCAM
-ah shit, you beat me to it >_
The ending to this video is hilarious i could not stop laughing at the commentary during the loading times, oh man it was funny..well done Mark, well done!
still not as bad as LGN Video Art.
+Landon GAME LJN*
Laughing Joking Numbnuts
nothing will ever be that wretched
Awesome review, loved the loadingrace^^
Mattels intellivision was from 1979 and it was better than this!
The Hyperscan is more reminiscent of some kind of stuff from the "AOL Time Warner" days. Think of it as something in a regular house with lighting similar to the 2002 independent movie, One Hour Photo and with stuff that's more "Warner Home Video" days from 2000-2001. These Hyperscans were released in the "A TimeWarner Company" days of 2006, but is more appropriate in very late 2001, 2002 and mid-2003.
I feel bad for the children who got this piece of crap insted of a Wii
Not Interested in this console, but Btw this guy has the perfect voice for reviews. You Rock Mark!
I remember people saying the wii had bad grafhics, this piece of ass is from the same year and it looks like a 16 bit console.
Brawl, Galaxy, prime, we're all fantastic looking game tho
It did have pretty bad graphics in comparison with the PS3/360.
cloudtx the nintendo ip's were in their own leauge. gameplay over graphics. why do you think that the original mario's are still fun to this day?
Andrew Bond Why are you getting so defensive?, which console had the better games is subjective, I was just saying that the PS3/360 had better graphics due the fact that the Wii was severely underpowered for that gen. That fact cannot be denied.
cloudtx I'm just saying that the NES will have more value in the future than the 360 will because the NES was one of the first of its kind. before the NES there was pong. and that's basically what happened all through the 70's and early 80's. then a revolution was born. and till this day I firmly believe that they still hold up quite nicely
I have never seen Mark so negative about something, and I love it, this guy manages to bright my day even while hating on something.
Interesting concept, but horribly executed. Mattel should stick to toys. Seriously, why make a system that looks like a waffle maker?
3:39 S-Video male connectors for controller plugs.
the r zone was worse than this.
"It usually takes a good half hour to scan one of these cards" omg!!!! Dead. Fucking dead. I was laughing for a good half hour until my face was hurting.
Yet still has more exclusive games then the PS4.
Let me see,okay here are the games for the ps4:
Killzone shadow fall
Infamous second son
Oddworld:New and Tasty
Destiny
COD AW
The evil within
The last of us remasterd
GTA 5 remasterd
Far Cry 4
The order 1886
Driveclub
The Crew
Dynasty Warrior 8 xtreme legends
Wofenstein the new order
Watch_Dogs
Battlefield 4
Assasin's Creed Unity
COD Ghost
Dying Light
Middle Earth:Shadow of Mordor
Knack
Evolve
Diablo 3
FIFA 15
NBA 2K15
NBA 2K14
FIFA 14
Dragon Age:Inquistion
Metal Gear Solid 5:The Phantom Pain
Alien:Isolation
The Elder Scrolls:Online
Need for Speed:Rivals
Lego Batman 3:Beyond Gotham
Little Big Planet 3
Metal Gear Solid 5:Ground Zeroes
Disney Infinity
Skylanders:Trap Team
Tales from the Borderlands
Madden NFL 15
The Walking Dead
Games of Thrones
Total:41 games
There will be more upcoming games like Uncharted 4 and Batman Arkham Knight
Yeah,do your research first
Aaron Steven Edit:i just realised the order 1886 hasn't come out a week ago
Aaron Steven not sure it counts as a game anyway to be honest.
BTW I am a sony fan, ps4 is just not worth getting.
No good exclusive games
Aaron Steven COD:AW is on the xbone as well, he said it has more exclusive games than the PS4
Zyad48 - The Warrior of Evil i didn't read that part
Glad I only knew of this a decade after it's launch, can only imagine how much they peddled this for
More like the HYPERSCAM.
My Grandma bought me one of these for christmas one year and I got to say this video made me miss it and her...ok maybe just her
In the defense of the NeoGeo, the HyperScan loaded one single game, the other game however loaded a little cutscene, then loaded the game, so in my book the NeoGeo won, due to the fact that it went through 2 loading screens while the HyperScan went through one.
"Think Skylanders, except broken.... And covered in whale feces!" - I shat myself laughing so hard!
I never thought I'd see Mark giving the finger.
I remember wanting this when I was much younger. Thank you for showing me how much of a waste of time that thing would have been.
I'm actually kind if morbidly curious what the finishing moves for X men are like lol
9 years ago this was?
What´s the song´s name in the loading comparison?
What next? Zeebo? Actually I'm interested in seeing CGR review that thing, but I don't have one to send in.
"END IT!"
I guarantee that was said at the Mattel headquarters a couple of times
You know, the Neo Geo CD actually won. The contest was about which console loaded the slowest, which was Pulstar. So why was Mark so disappointed about Pulstar loading slower?
Those are not S-Video cables for the controllers, they are PS/2 ports. You know, developed by IBM, introduced in 1987 to replace serial mouse ports, the little green and purple plugs you'd have seen on the back of PCs prior to everything moving to USB (Though you may still find some green/purple adaptors in some of your USB products.)
It is a valid input port, just.. outdated, like everything in the Hyperscan.
I saw an ad for this 6 or 7 years ago. It looked kinda cool... but I had a Gamecube, with more than five games.
I wonder if those loading times are longer than Sonic '06.
I remember when this first came out, and a tech reviewer in my local news paper wrote an article that pretty much said this console was a good alternative for parent who didn't wan't to spend a lot of money on the xbox 360, ps3, or wii. that was the first and last time I ever heard about this console until now. I didn't even remember the name of it, and who made it.
Anyone know if CGR's intro music is available somewhere?
It is....on youtube.
You need to get your hands on a Barcode Monster scanner game!
I would like to ask, 3:28 - 4:35, what song was used in that part? I would like to know.
Bill Gates No idea, but his music is pretty good.
Bill Gates No idea, but his music is pretty good.
William Tell Overture (think horse racing)
You probably got a broken scanner in your HyperScan because i looked at Gamester81's video and it worked very well for him.