As a woman who's been pregnant full-term with three children I can tell you that my libido goes up every time I'm pregnant. Of course I've had relatively easy pregnancies. Also as a uterus owner I can tell you that I actually pleasure myself more when I am menstruating. having orgasms actually seems to help relieve the tension in my body during menstruation. Just wanted to throw that out there because it seems like both of you think that women are less sexual when they are pregnant and menstruating and that's just not true in my experience.
One of Pregnancies I was constantly demanding my partner for sex in my second trimester, at first he loved it, but then quickly it became too much for him. I'll always remember him saying in exasperation " Please I need to sleep!" 😄
I've never been pregnant but when I used to menstruate (I went through premature ovarian failure), I would be hornier than usual (I have a very high, yet unmatched libido, sadly), I would have the best sex with my husband. I used to say that it felt like my body was panicking because it was losing the chance to conceive and was saying, 'seek penis, quick!'. 😄
I can understand Berto’s assumptions from a media/stereotypical perspective, but the generalizations were tough to listen to. I’d challenge him to do more research from peer-reviewed sources around female sexuality. Many studies demonstrate that assumptions such as “men are more visual than women” are actually not true, etc.
31:00 Rape as a fantasy is different from an /actual/ rape since the receiving partner is in *control*, they *decide* what happens. At any moment, they can tell their partner to *stop*, have a *safe* word, and whatnot. Acting out a rape fantasy is nothing like /actually/ being sexually assaulted since they get to decide, dictate every aspect of the sexual intercourse. So no, women who have rape fantasies do not want to be sexually assaulted. In regards to recreating past experiences, it makes sense: they now get to be in control whereas with respect to past traumatic experiences, they simply did not in those times. In the end, no matter one's reasons for fantasising about sexual assault or what may have lead them to that, hopefully we can all understand and accept that no, it does not mean they want to be raped nor should they be blamed for their own rape. I always thought this went without saying. 😬 Excellent content once again, Dr. Honda. Your videos are insightful!
Berto trying to guess the 2nd most common fantasy was hilarious 😂 and Kirk going "at least you're in the zone of typical fantasies now"- every person listening must have been silently screaming either BDSM or non-consensual.
Berto's doctor fantasy reminds me of the (probably mythical) story of Victorian doctors treating women's hysteria and stress with vibrators in the office. Medical masturbation! True or false, obviously society is intrigued by the story enough to keep passing it on.
Berto was making a point about how patriarchal socialization started, but then Kirk said "Well some people in Africa show a lot of skin, so you just ruined your whole argument." So patriarchal socialization doesn't exist generally just because some people in some parts of the world do things differently? And then Kirk quickly changed the subject. How strange. EDIT: Listening further, it's really evident how touchy Kirk gets when someone disagrees with him. Kirk will make these proclamations about why something happens, but when Berto gives an opposing idea, Kirk gets defensive and says, "Yeah, well, I guess it could be either way, maybe," or he even goes on the offensive, lashing out with comments like, "You need to talk to more women!" Then he again argued that SOME women had sex with men that they later regretted, therefore women IN GENERAL don't have a higher bar for sexual attraction? Kirk gets too emotionally invested in some topics and abandons all basic logic.
Imo the 'some people in Africa' comment contributes to Berto's argument rather than ruins it. It's proof that the sexualisation of female nudity is cultural and not biological.
He never said that there is not pathriarchy in general but that there are places where this is not an issue or even a though and people walk around basically nakes and nobody bats an eye but he never said that there is not a socialization around those topics. The way I understand it when Kirk suggests that he could speak with more women about this is because there is no need to try to convince someone of those things and beeing a thrapist I supposed he had many conversations with man and women alike to know differently, that open up about those things and is suggesting that if he talked with women aboutt hose things, maybe his idea or assumpions about certain things may shift…
Hi guys, been awhile since I listen to your podcast and it feels good for me to be back . Kirk and Berto, love you guys! Your topics discussed are always intriguing and interesting.. Best part though is the way you two "feed" off of each other. Kinda like Ying/Yang energy always makes me smile ....gee possibly turn me on too🌠
I have to say that my fantasies have gone opposite of most people- when I was young I had more fantasies of multiple boys or sex in public but now I have fantasies of having this much anticipated extremely intense soul mate love making where it's totally uninhibited on a subconscious level. If that makes sense. And physically, sex is so much better after 40.
I have heard women, on average, like the top 15% of men, in terms of looks. Women are harsher on the bottom 85%, according to studies. Men are more optimistic. This supports Humberto’s point of view. Nobody knows for sure though
I wanted to add something to the stereotype of “women fantasize about a man that will do the dishes” it is not true and true at the same time, in the sense that, sexuality ultimatly and how sexually attracted you are to your partner could be improved by those things. If my entire day I spend kind of going after my partner because they just sit on the butt and don’t do anthing, I will be less inklined or even attracted or even want to be intimate with my partner at the end of the day, so I do believe that those common every day to day things play a roll in that too, it is not like one instance, there are many days throwout a day or week or whatever that will make me more incline of beeing interested in beeing intimate with my partner. Also about the nameless faceless person, it is not because I’ve been socialized that way but rather because even if I tried to associate a face or someone I know with a fantasy I just go “yeah no that ruins it” because in real life I have no interest in beeing intimate with that specific person, I don’t like them that way and therefore I don’t want to assocate them with my fantasies lol
Hi Dr Honda, do you think « rape fantasies » are related to porn? Also, I feel like we shouldnt call them like this cause the fantasy has actually nothing to do with rape…
As a woman who's been pregnant full-term with three children I can tell you that my libido goes up every time I'm pregnant. Of course I've had relatively easy pregnancies. Also as a uterus owner I can tell you that I actually pleasure myself more when I am menstruating. having orgasms actually seems to help relieve the tension in my body during menstruation. Just wanted to throw that out there because it seems like both of you think that women are less sexual when they are pregnant and menstruating and that's just not true in my experience.
One of Pregnancies I was constantly demanding my partner for sex in my
second trimester, at first he loved it, but then quickly it became too much for him. I'll always remember him saying in exasperation " Please I need to sleep!" 😄
I've never been pregnant but when I used to menstruate (I went through premature ovarian failure), I would be hornier than usual (I have a very high, yet unmatched libido, sadly), I would have the best sex with my husband. I used to say that it felt like my body was panicking because it was losing the chance to conceive and was saying, 'seek penis, quick!'. 😄
true
Agreed!
@@twelvesmylimit I laughed out loud when I read your comment
Berto's fantasies are so vanilla it's cute.
I can understand Berto’s assumptions from a media/stereotypical perspective, but the generalizations were tough to listen to. I’d challenge him to do more research from peer-reviewed sources around female sexuality. Many studies demonstrate that assumptions such as “men are more visual than women” are actually not true, etc.
31:00 Rape as a fantasy is different from an /actual/ rape since the receiving partner is in *control*, they *decide* what happens. At any moment, they can tell their partner to *stop*, have a *safe* word, and whatnot. Acting out a rape fantasy is nothing like /actually/ being sexually assaulted since they get to decide, dictate every aspect of the sexual intercourse. So no, women who have rape fantasies do not want to be sexually assaulted.
In regards to recreating past experiences, it makes sense: they now get to be in control whereas with respect to past traumatic experiences, they simply did not in those times. In the end, no matter one's reasons for fantasising about sexual assault or what may have lead them to that, hopefully we can all understand and accept that no, it does not mean they want to be raped nor should they be blamed for their own rape. I always thought this went without saying. 😬
Excellent content once again, Dr. Honda. Your videos are insightful!
it should indeed go without saying, but thank you for saying it anyway! 🙏
When Kirk says threesomes are terrible, then laughs 😂😂
Berto trying to guess the 2nd most common fantasy was hilarious 😂 and Kirk going "at least you're in the zone of typical fantasies now"- every person listening must have been silently screaming either BDSM or non-consensual.
BDSM is consensual tho and consent is super important in any kind of of sexual fantasy practices
@@AnNa-gv6ep yes by non-consensual i meant r*pe fantasies! I just didnt know which would be higher up in the list- either way, all consensual
Berto's doctor fantasy reminds me of the (probably mythical) story of Victorian doctors treating women's hysteria and stress with vibrators in the office. Medical masturbation! True or false, obviously society is intrigued by the story enough to keep passing it on.
Pretty sure that actually happened. Kirk did an episode on it several years ago, on histrionic personality
Berto was making a point about how patriarchal socialization started, but then Kirk said "Well some people in Africa show a lot of skin, so you just ruined your whole argument." So patriarchal socialization doesn't exist generally just because some people in some parts of the world do things differently? And then Kirk quickly changed the subject. How strange.
EDIT: Listening further, it's really evident how touchy Kirk gets when someone disagrees with him. Kirk will make these proclamations about why something happens, but when Berto gives an opposing idea, Kirk gets defensive and says, "Yeah, well, I guess it could be either way, maybe," or he even goes on the offensive, lashing out with comments like, "You need to talk to more women!" Then he again argued that SOME women had sex with men that they later regretted, therefore women IN GENERAL don't have a higher bar for sexual attraction? Kirk gets too emotionally invested in some topics and abandons all basic logic.
Imo the 'some people in Africa' comment contributes to Berto's argument rather than ruins it. It's proof that the sexualisation of female nudity is cultural and not biological.
He never said that there is not pathriarchy in general but that there are places where this is not an issue or even a though and people walk around basically nakes and nobody bats an eye but he never said that there is not a socialization around those topics.
The way I understand it when Kirk suggests that he could speak with more women about this is because there is no need to try to convince someone of those things and beeing a thrapist I supposed he had many conversations with man and women alike to know differently, that open up about those things and is suggesting that if he talked with women aboutt hose things, maybe his idea or assumpions about certain things may shift…
This was so much fun!!
Hi guys, been awhile since I listen to your podcast and it feels good for me to be back . Kirk and Berto, love you guys!
Your topics discussed are always intriguing and interesting.. Best part though is the way you two "feed" off of each other.
Kinda like Ying/Yang energy always makes me smile ....gee possibly turn me on too🌠
I have to say that my fantasies have gone opposite of most people- when I was young I had more fantasies of multiple boys or sex in public but now I have fantasies of having this much anticipated extremely intense soul mate love making where it's totally uninhibited on a subconscious level. If that makes sense. And physically, sex is so much better after 40.
I have heard women, on average, like the top 15% of men, in terms of looks. Women are harsher on the bottom 85%, according to studies. Men are more optimistic. This supports Humberto’s point of view. Nobody knows for sure though
Awesome podcast!
This was a great episode!
I wanted to add something to the stereotype of “women fantasize about a man that will do the dishes” it is not true and true at the same time, in the sense that, sexuality ultimatly and how sexually attracted you are to your partner could be improved by those things. If my entire day I spend kind of going after my partner because they just sit on the butt and don’t do anthing, I will be less inklined or even attracted or even want to be intimate with my partner at the end of the day, so I do believe that those common every day to day things play a roll in that too, it is not like one instance, there are many days throwout a day or week or whatever that will make me more incline of beeing interested in beeing intimate with my partner.
Also about the nameless faceless person, it is not because I’ve been socialized that way but rather because even if I tried to associate a face or someone I know with a fantasy I just go “yeah no that ruins it” because in real life I have no interest in beeing intimate with that specific person, I don’t like them that way and therefore I don’t want to assocate them with my fantasies lol
I would love to see an episode on asexual's fantasies if enough research exists on the matter
Hi Dr Honda, do you think « rape fantasies » are related to porn? Also, I feel like we shouldnt call them like this cause the fantasy has actually nothing to do with rape…
Soooo what you’re telling me is that people get gross when they age. Alright cool.
maybe you're too young if you think this is gross
11
🙏💯
I swear i thought the furries were going to be on top list 😮. I love that berto is too pure and can't guess the BDSM one !!