Therapist FIRST time REACTION to Ren For Joe - 5 stages of Grief discussed
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 มิ.ย. 2023
- Here is my first listen and reaction to For Joe by Ren. I did ramble for about 25 minutes but cut it down to about 10 for your viewing pleasure. I talk a bit about the 5 stages of grief as I figured most other reactors would touch upon the great piano playing, the backdrop scenery etc. I wanted to deliver something I felt would be a bit different but also helpful. I hope that comes across.
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Find my ball and box analogy for grief here: • Ren talks about grief ...
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Here is my first listen and reaction to For Joe by Ren. I did ramble for about 25 minutes but cut it down to about 10 for your viewing pleasure. I talk a bit about the 5 stages of grief as I figured most other reactors would touch upon the great piano playing, the backdrop scenery etc. I wanted to deliver something I felt would be a bit different but also helpful. I hope that comes across.
Well done.
With acceptance, comes healing.
There are two reactors who I look forward to when it is a Ren reaction...yours and "lower the shields"....the two of you really get Ren and his music and I pray that more people discover and subscribe to the two of you. Thank you, God bless and keep up the insightful and thought provoking reactions. Bob Clark
It certainly seems helpful to me. I enjoy hearing your takes on the music, lyrics and performance from the sometimes special lens of your field. Personally, I think I would have enjoyed the whole 25 minutes, rambling and all. Mostly because a bit of rambling makes it less perfect and more everyday human to me. ;) But I understand that sometimes it makes sense to keep it brief and on the point to get certain messages accross.
Can you release the 25 min version please? I would be interested in hearing more of your thoughts.
Thanks Bob, amazing to hear as 2 months ago I had never done a reaction to video and to hear people are looking forward to them is mindblowing! I'll check out Lower the shields too, thanks for the recommendation.
I'm nominating Ren for the Nobel prize for Humanity. He has single handily allowed many people to release trauma trapped within their body and that can only make the world a better place and raise human consciousness. Some of us have solace as a result and are humbled by his gift. 🙏❤️
I discovered Ren several months ago and since then it's been a very unexpected, but necessary, journey through emotions and experiences I've never given myself space to even aknowledge. It's been incredibly painful, but I'm very grateful for it. Pain, trauma, grief, and mental illness are all part of the human condition in varying degrees. I'm learning to lean into the dance instead of resisting it and it's incredibly healing and cathartic.
In the same boat as you. Finding out how much I have not healed properly from the life I've led, and finding courage through Ren's lyrics to overcome. Still have fear about it but I'm moving forward regardless 🌹🔥
@carmenhuyser808 I keep coming back to the spoken word at the end of Hi Ren. I need that reminder to be gentle with myself and dance, even if I have to cry while I do it. I feel that fear too, and I hope it fades for us with time. Even if it doesn't, we get to dance in the rain, and what a beautiful thing that can be ❤️
@@Popular_Novel agree 💯💗🌹🔥
Very well said and SAME❤
I love that he included Freckled Angels at the end. You may not have seen that one yet (there is a live recording from the year Joe died) but it was his first song For Joe.
After the S song it is so important that Ren took that pain and then turned it into a bittersweet tribute to the life he has built around it. It's so powerful.
No I havent watched (or reacted) to Freckled ages yet but I'm guessing there is some overlap between all these songs. I might do a reaction to that, I havent decided yet given how much ive put out recently on this topic!
A stunningly beautiful tribute.
He turned a song of pain.
Into one of healing.
The way, only Ren can.
You were quick to this one Dawn! I love the way you put that he turned a song of pain into one of healing. Wish I had said that myself in the video!
@@TherapistReactsOfficial Was waiting for your take on this.
Did you read what he wrote about his visit to Joe's parents?
It was ALL about healing.
@@dawnpatterson8708Can you please point me to where Ren wrote about it?
No I didn't, is that on his YT somewhere?
@@TherapistReactsOfficial Yes, his community page
I couldn't quite name it in Suicide where the second part displayed his first four stages of grief. This was brought to a closure with this song, where the second part is all about acceptance, crowned by a sobbing hug from Joe's mom, after Ren nervously showed this video to Joe's parents. This song and everything around it brought all parties involved closure.
Many ppl can't find acceptance due to the fear of forgetting about the person who is gone. Unfortunately I am one of those people. Ren seems to stir up emotions that I haven't felt in yrs. He's definitely a one of a kind gem.
The way REN comes back around to embrace the positivity of his experiences is amazing. He is so RAW & REAL; I believe that is what is the most endearing of his qualities.
All of this positivity in a daily sea of negativity has brought this international platform into unification. Look at how he has "blown up" and caused several of these other channels to do the same...SO UNSELFISHLY !
#Renmakesmusic
It's tragic too to me. As someone who has 32 yrs of chronic autoimmune illnesses, I have experienced weirdly the stages of grief losing what I thought my life would be. For ren he's lost his best mate, his brother and his health. Ren is I believe still working thru his healing as much as can in his circumstances. He's decided to be a better more caring soul teaching others that being vulnerable is human. Asking for others help as a human, is brave because it's scary. But being brave is to go forward thru that fear
The amount of tears this man has made us cry I'm surprised we're not all swimming right now!
Ren is telling us his story about his pain, but we feel it too. We connect with this story.
Thank you thank you thank you for speaking up about not being hung up on which stage of grief other ppl maybe on. That is one of the most effective ways to add MORE hurt to the people who are already struggling...
Nice simple and to the point, from this new song, I sense a more positive Ren, don't get me wrong I think the hurt is still there, but he seems a lot more hopeful and resolved. Not a final chapter but an epilogue. Nuff said peace and happiness to Joe's family and a great tribute to his best friend.👐
Completely agree. Thanks for sharing.
thank you for reacting and supporting my favourite artist ever ❤❤❤
Gosh what an amazing Human you are and I thank you Sir 🙏🫡🇬🇧
I really like the setting for the video - the glistening lights of Calgary looking like clusters of diamonds against the black night , and in the foreground is Ren seated alone at a piano only being lit by a small bottle lantern - reminding one of a jar of fireflies . There is a saying - ‘ all the darkness in the world cannot cancel the light of one small candle ‘. Ren is that candle - shining light on topics and feelings that we are told should not exist . Your measured but heartfelt response was welcomed .
I LOVE this reply. How thoughtful and kind you are.
@@louannlang7471 thank you - you are very kind .
@@Silkytoaster ❤️
Thank you for your reaction. Blessings to all.
Same to you , thank you
Ren always give me chills
Same here, even after multiple listens of the same song.
Very well said Stuart. Thanks for taking a different, more helpful approach.
Thanks for taking the time to comment and glad you liked it.
💖💖💖
I actually cried more during your reaction than to Ren's song.😆
Because, with my physical and mental health problems, I have gone through the 5 stages of grief with each of them.
Denial: I don't really have a problem. Everybody goes through this.
Anger: Why does this disease exist?! Why should anyone have to go through this?!
Bargaining: If I just take this pill, everything will get better
Depression: I'm always going to be this way, so why not give up on trying and just stay in bed?
Acceptance: This is a part of me. When my body gives me pain, or I feel an emotion, it's a message. I listen to the message and let it go, then give my body or emotions what they need to feel better. And when I have a good day physically or emotionally, I am grateful and enjoy it as much as possible. Even if I have to do chores, I put on music & sing & dance while I do them.
I think everyone, to a certain degree, goes through these 5 stages with any health problem. Even mental health.
Thank you again for what you're doing and who you are. 💖💖💖
Thank you for your reaction to this one. I adore Ren. This one hit me harder than most. I am a 65 yr old Widow. I married the right man. We were very happy, for the most part, for over 33 yrs. I lost him to cancer while the world was worried about a virus. By the time we could find out what was making him so sick, we had less than 2 months left together. He was a freckled redheaded Irishman. I have cried to a lot of Ren's music, but I feel that this one was my song. I understand the stages of grief in my mind, but my heart will not let me move on from this loss. I feel like he took so much of me with him. It will be 3 yrs in November. Any advice on how to move forward ? Thank you in advance.
This was filmed on a hill overlooking the Calgary Saddledome (Scotsman’s Hill). I have watched fireworks from here many times. What a beautiful tribute ❤️❤️🩹
That’s cool. I had been trying to figure out where it was whilst I was watching it and I didn’t want to say something blatantly wrong (like London or somewhere) and then it get turned into a meme of how rubbish at geography I am (and I really am rubbish at geography!).
Ren certainly takes us on one heck of a journey. Appreciate your reaction and time. Peace friend.
Thanks Dorkette_chicky
Thank you ❤ it was a beautiful tribute 🙏 help healing together 😇
Thank you, I needed this. I lost the love of my life 2 years ago to suicide and I’m really struggling,everyday is different and I feel like all I’m doing is digging myself into a hole and dragging everyone along with me.
I love how you totally get him. Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)
If you watch the Knox interview Ren intellectually and logically knows there wasn’t anything he could have done that night but emotionally is another thing… the empty cup.
But notice there is a bottle of light (lights) to fill the empty cup.
The previous produced video was dark and filled with pain and frustration. This starts with that pain but continues with what Joe and all his actions has taught and given Ren. That bottle of light to fill the empty cup. Not only a crafted masterpiece but preformed extremely well with the help from Sam.
Thanks for your reaction 🙏
Your voice, compassion and understanding reactions feel like a warm blanket. Thank you. And, yes, this is so beautiful as is Ren.
🕯Joe🕯
Ren is connecting to us from his heart, opening our wounds, the ones that need to bleed in order to be healed. How much we have come to love him is so powerful. He's reminding us of how to be human. When we loose someone we love, a part of us gets lost too. The key is finding that missing piece by acknowledging our grief, feeling and living through it, however painful. Acceptance finds us when our minds and bodies have done the work of the grieving process. Locking away powerful emotions, putting on a brave face and getting on with normal life isn't always the answer. Eventually the lost person finds a place to settle in the hearts of loved ones, alive in memories bringing comfort and strength from the next 'room', just out of view, but always present ❤x
Again, wise words of wisdom and thank you for reaching me something. The 5 stages of grief was , how shall I say , hmmm, enforced upon me. When it was and I was told this is how I need to feel and when it pissed me off more and made me more depressed and angry because at that time of hurt I felt I wasn't responding to my grief correctly. People shouldn't enforce such stages upon those when grieving, as you said and I wish I knew this back then we all don't go through each stage of grieving and some may repeat certain stages over and over. Thank you for sharing this it helps me and it helps me to help others.
I appreciate your reaction video Stuart. This version of Ren’s two track mash-up really got to me when I heard it on the live because it was so joyful and yet emotional, and you could tell Ren was so appreciative to be able to share his emotions and spread his friendship with, and love for Joe with world. I liked what you said about Ren’s lyrics and presentation, but for me the fact that you highlighted that the stages of grief are normal and acceptable was key. I also liked how you pointed out that what we all (and Ren too) choose to do with our emotions in terms of processing and healing is our own personal choice. Plus, that not everyone experiences each one of the grief emotions in a set order; and that the time frame for grief plays out differently for each of us. Anyway, regardless of how things play out in terms of acceptance, I think Joe would be proud of what Ren is doing with his life and would like the fact that he has been an inspiration in the world. I told Ren that Joe will forever be his guardian angel because he is deep with REN’s psyche in a positive way and in his heart too. Thank you Stuart take care of yourself.
Thank you for your reaction and for highlighting that grief is a journey unique to the individual. This song hit for me a little harder than I would have expected but, you never know when the waves are going to come.
Once again, Ren shows us that we can talk and express our feelings about this and with it a tribute that is beautiful in its simplicity.
Thank you again Stuart.
Thanks dancerbird.
Good reaction as always. And beautiful advice on helping deal with the stages of grief. Invaluable!
Thanks
In 1993, I survived suicide and much like Hi Ren, I did hear that voice of light that saved me. In 1996, learned a good friend jumped to his death taking years dealing with his suicide. DID, depression, falling off the wagon, and finally addressing his death in a stage production and my suicide survivor story in the same production and campus story.
Once again, you have contributed something that needed to be said and heard. Thanks for continuing to share your observations.
I discovered Ren due to clicking on a recommended video by a reactor and I've been hooked to Ren ever since and listening to reactors react to Ren. Ren makes me cry more than I have ever cried in years and each and every time I feel better for it as it reminds me I'm still human and flawed and that it's ok to have some internal pain. Loved hearing you Stuart as always a thoughtful constructive and mindful reaction with the things that few others breakdown and react to and give food for thought.
Ren turned this very sad song around and showed us after all this time he was able to take his pain and made it into something beautiful into something that helps others every single day. Which it does. We always tend to say that music can be therapeutic, but ren really and fully embodies that sentiment, constantly. I never felt such a strong and personal bond to someone's music. And I never felt literally protected from music as much as I feel protected from his music. He feels like a friend I can count on, always, even if I will never meet him personally. Cannot express my gratefulness for him. Thank you Stuart for your insights. You are appreciated as well. Very much so. ❤
Lovely reaction, thank you. R.I.P. Joe 💚
Great reaction, and yes, I would love to see your reaction to Freckled Angels. There's a great live version.
I do think something made him gain acceptance. Ren did say he hadn’t thought about it deeply in a while until his Knox interview then started writing. Maybe it was finally getting out the anger in Suicide. It reminds me of his Tales Trilogy that comes full circle from end to start. He begins with the anger in Suicide, adds a new verse to the introspective Dominoes, a new triumphant verse to Freckled Angels…and to the start, with his first song to Joe, the melancholy chorus of FA. I don’t think that circle was coincidence. I think he’s showing Joe, and himself, that it really is going to be ok.
it was a good reaction great message. i like your angle as always
Thanks for the comment and kind words.
A very good reaction, esp with the addition of the 5 stages of grief. For me I felt a bit of healing for Ren. As if he is now moving into acceptence. He mentioned that his reaction to loosing Joe as he did kept him alive during his darkest moments. Knowing he did not want to inflict that type of pain on his own family. In addition to a family member (or was it family friend) telling him that taking his own life would end his current hell, but it also took away all possiblity of things getting better. Ren did not believe he would live to see 30, that his illness would take him out, yet a tiny miracle came his way and things began getting better.
Was that seagulls in the background? Great reaction as usual. I always look forward to your reactions.
Thank you so much for giving us your insight on Ren's tribute to Joe RIP 🙏! There is something so darn wonderful about this video that warms my heart and that is how Ren is not only sharing his stages of grief, but how he is placing trust in humanity to accept and embrace how he is coping with it all! Ren is like family and there's always going to be a seat at my table for him! ❤❤❤
Loved your interpretatin of Fibonacci and Double Dutch. You alwys presnet a comprehensive review. I appreciate your reactions Stuart.
There are only a three people whose reactions I look forward to watching and you're one of them. I love your insight and I just want to say that anyone under your care is blessed to have such a compassionate person to turn to.
Thanks Madison.
Hey Stuart, thank you for sharing your reaction. I just discovered you and I thought I'd catch you before you blow up as a musical reaction channel. I see some other successful reactionists providing an introduction on their familiarity with the artist, a quick intro on their experience and how it may relate to the video they are reacting to, and then they can jump into the video. A little context helps us understand why we want to hear your thoughts on the song. I haven't seen your other videos yet and I'm not sure if you use this video structure in them, but I thought it was missing from this particular one.
Loved your thoughts - thank you for sharing the music and making the video :)
I see where you are coming from. If you watch my others (especially the one before this one where I’m messing around with a green screen!) you’ll see i normally do an intro as you described. However, my analytics tell me that over 40% of my viewers leave the video completely during that part, and nearly all the rest skip over it and go straight to the song starting. So I thought I would save people the trouble and just not have an intro!
Thank you for another great reaction! I also always look forward to seeing your videos. Besides doing Freckled Angels, you might consider doing Dominos. It’s an earlier song from Ren as well.
What you say about the stages of grief is all true. I know it and have lived it. But there is always a part of me that thinks about my friend who committed suicide a few years ago and wonders if I had sent that funny email that morning, if she would have done it. I KNOW that it didn’t make a difference, but…. And I guess that’s the thing about grief. Even when it gets smaller, it doesn’t really get less painful and it doesn’t stop you wondering. ❤
Great reaction!
Good evening everyone
you know the reason I am still alive are my children. Ren has helped me accept my continued existence. And I feel so much stronger due to his outlook on life. Those of us who have lived in inescapable pain understand. It is something he understands. Thank you Ren for making a space for me.
Great reaction! I loved that you talked about the stages of grief. I lost my mom on my birthday last year. ( Just past the year) I have been mad at her for a while. ( Long story) The songs Ren has put out about Joe has helped me work through some of that anger. Listening to your reactions has also helped. Plus, has helped me talk to my teenage daughter about the subject. So, my long way of saying, THANK YOU!
Thanks for the kind words, sorry for your loss. I do try and take the opportunity to talk about something mental health related which I think might be helpful without shoe horning it in too much. I’m glad they are helpful.
When my father died, I was too young to understand what was happening. Nor did my brother, and when a neighbor brought over a cake, my mother put candles on it (he was killed three days before my bro’s Bday) for him. I was younger than my brother, and I grew up with hatred. My siblings all including my brother mentioned, had memories of him, I do not. This has soured me with a scar I cannot shake. My mother lived on long afterwards and when she passed 15 yrs ago, I stopped contact with my siblings and cousins. One of them wrote an email to me yrs back calling me out for not responding to his emails ending with calling me stupid. My answer? I did not respond. I do not miss them nor will I see them again. I guess it’s mutual, I have no way to know or care. I am simply saying that some things can never get done in 5 stages or any amount of stages, just grab enough pieces of yourself and move on. Great rection
Always love the way you break things down bro! So real and well said! Love your reactions brother! 👌🤌🤙🔥❤️
Great reaction and insight. Thank you! 🎶
Something I once said to a friend to was told she was grieving 'too long' - there's no rule book for grief, and one size fits all is a filthy lie when it comes to baseball hats, let alone humans.
Holy fuck. We are hitting 5 year anniversaries of natural death and a one year anniversary of losing a family member to suicide so this hit hard. I struggled a lot with grief when I was younger, particularly depression. It typically overpowers the other stages for me. With the loss to suicide, I wasn’t close with them, I didn’t particularly like them and the change in the grieving process really threw me, like a lot, it was mostly anger and acceptance.
Happy Friday everyone
I've always seen the five stages of grief simply as a guide to recognize that when you are experiencing these various stages, that you know they are likely coming from your grief, rather than from some unknown source. It's a good way to accept those feelings as temporary and something you can get through. I think the acceptance is the goal we need to recognize is what will ultimately soothe our grief. In a way, that's what this song is about, accepting Joe's loss. Also 'Hi Ren', was about acceptance of the circumstances you are given, rather than fighting them your whole life, because fighting is what will make your pain last longer than it needs to.
Yeah I agree, I think knowing they are something that is ‘likely’ to happen can be quite helpful.
I just wanted to add that for those who struggle with the 5 stages of grief and feeling they don't quite fit, a good alternative is William Wardens 4 stages of grief.
Warden says a person grieving goes through:
Acceptance- learning to accept that a person is gone
Pain- feeling the pain of losing them
Adjustment- adjusting to a new life and new social roles now that the person is gone.
Reallocation- finding a way to reallocate the memory of the person they have lost (like a memorial bench or plant or favourite place) while still finding room in their life to move on .
These stages usually happen in this sequence but a person may revert back to an earlier stage at times.
Hope this helps someone :)
I feel like the bottle was a metaphor for Joe, being ‘lightening’, which you can’t catch in a ‘bottle’. Like, Joe was too much for this world, so you can’t hold him. Sorry, it sounded better in my head. 🤦🏻♀️
That makes loads of sense, and a really nice way to think about it. Thanks for sharing!
Obscenely painful.. I love it but I can only watch it alone….
Just got dumped bigtime by someone who can't even give me a good reason why... I came for the 5 stages of grief. Ive been sad, in denial, sad again, pissed, in denial, sad again and now I have a feeling of pointlessness and being alone and lonely... like I allways did before I met her... Acceptance can be a bitch! I didn't bargain however, because I tried the hardest I ever have been to make her happy while it lasted...
- Life is a tiresome rollercoaster and is only good at the short peaks... Do your peaks make up for the valleys? -I am not really sure mine do....
When they ask ppl on their deathbed what they regretted the most in life allmost anyone says they wish they spent more time with loved ones.... I think I will be pissed not even having had a real choice in that regard.... Out of the past 23 years I spent about 18 alone... That freaking sucks when you thrive on doing things with and for others....
Sorry... just had to get a bit af leftover anger out I guess... And yes. If there is a god who created me in his own image and have a plan for me... He must be as fucked up as I am and I hate him for it.
p.s Let me clarify I don't equate my situation with having lost someone to the afterlife.... I'm just talking about grief in general I guess...
I appreciate your honest and genuine reaction, and your thoughtful commentary. Ren's song "Su!cIde" was hard to watch to the point that I was not able to watch or listen to it again until now because of my best friend taking his life 38 years ago. I have not even been able to watch a single reaction to it. It was a sad, haunting, gut-wrenching tribute. However, after listening to "To Joe" several times, I came to the realization that as sad and emotional as this song is, it has had a healing effect on me and has given me a sense of closure. Even the lyrics that "gutted" me in "Su!cIde" impacted me differently this time around.
Anthony Ray (@AnthonyRay) said after reacting to this performance (I am paraphrasing) that he felt that after all these years, Ren seems to have found a measure of acceptance regarding the loss of his best friend. Anthony's comment suddenly made me aware of the song's impact on me, and I am actually able to watch or listen to "Su!cIde" again. Although I will probably not watch any reactions to it, as I consider this song to be much too personal, and watching someone else's grief would only compound my pain.
Thomas Goldschmidt (@thomasgoldschmidt298) remarked, "For Joe" is a continuation of "Su!cIde," displaying the five stages of grief, adding acceptance to the end of his last song…..This song and the sobbing hug he received from Joe's mom after showing the video bring closure to all involved!
I think ending "To Joe" with lines from "Freckles Angels" left me with a more optimistic outlook. It is as if Ren is trying to tell us that even though some of our loved ones are physically gone from our life, their memory continues to live in and through us. I think that is why I got a sense of closure and peace.
The video should be big enough to see on a phone.
That’s helpful to know, thanks for the feedback and I’ll make sure to make the music video part bigger next time.
#like 0:03
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Hi everyone