Grief's Dirty Little Secret: Anger
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.พ. 2025
- Anger is a natural part of grief, but it’s often treated like something to fix or hide. Anger shows up in loss and it’s completely valid, even if society tells us otherwise. We’ll challenge the idea that you should rush past anger to reach “acceptance” and explore why this emotion is as much a part of healing as any other. Plus, we talk about Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly, a powerful look at how anger, gender, and culture intersect.
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If you’re grieving, we recommend joining Megan’s monthly grief support group call where you can get answers to your questions about grief and learn what to say to people who just. don't. get. it.
Go to / megandevine and sign up at the $10 level to get immediate access to our upcoming calls and all of our previous Q&A recordings.
#grief #mentalhealth #anger
I have not felt angry. What is wrong with me?
Just because anger is normal inside grief doesn't mean that everyone will experience anger in their grief. Remember, every grief is unique.
😮😊😢yes. So good to hear. Very very Soothing. Love Respect Megan...❤❤
My only anger is against myself. I was so concentrated on keeping my adult son alive that, at the moment of his death, I realized I hadn't helped him to die. I will never forgive myself and yes, I have gone for counseling. Thank you for bringing the true feelings of grieving people to light, Megan. If people don't like my grieving after almost 2 years, then I know they've never lost a child and hope they never will.
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Thank you Megan!
I am angry, disappointed, sad... how can this be
Megan, thank you so much for normalizing the anger in our grief journeys and validating our feelings/experiences. Keep up the amazing work you are doing❤️
I've been angry for over a year now since my husband of 48 years died. It's become a part of me. I was not at all this way before.
Thank you Megan. I have no words. I follow your TH-cam channel, website and I’ve listened to your audiobook, "It's OK That You're Not OK” three times (so far). It’s the best place where I feel “seen, heard & understood.” My story is long and complicated (36 years) and goes far beyond the centerpiece of grief. My son died two-months ago from drugs after many years of emotional struggles, distortions and multiple traumas. It’s been decades of scapegoating and now I’m grieving the death of my precious son. I have a small support system, including a good therapist, but nobody truly understands. It’s complicated. As you brilliantly explain in your book, this is not fixable or understandable unless you’ve lived it. Thank you again! I drive a lot and your audiobook is always my trusted “companion."
Thank you for your TH-cam channel and the advice you give. All my family have died and I'm angry inside. I don't want to be angry it's not the type of person I am, but as much as I try my best to surpress the feelings of anger there is no denying the way I feel. I know you shoundn't surpress feelings of anger, however for me it's complicated. When I was 17 years old my Mother suddenly died, I watched her die, and sometime afterwards I started to suffer from harm OCD. Because of the OCD anger frightens me so I surpress it. However, the feelings of anger are making me more and more ill, so I'm looking for ways I can safely express the anger I feel within without making my OCD even worse. I will continue to watch your informed videos as I am sure they will benefit me.
20 months and still awaiting the trial of the 4x felon who murdered my husband. I spend so much time frozen at the scene.. it plays over and over in my head. I spend a lot of time sitting and just trying to control what I feel. Just trying to survive it. Anytime I try to get things done, I feel like I can’t keep what I feel under control. I can’t breathe. My heart beats wildly and I can’t control what I think about. My emotions are so extreme…. I don’t feel sadness, I feel anguish. I don’t feel anger, I feel rage. Family and friends, who are my support system, cannot handle the rage I feel. I am afraid to tell a therapist about the rage filled, explosive thoughts that go through my head… I write this with tears streaming. Finally, a therapist addressing this aspect of grief. . My emotions are so extreme that if I spend any time thinking about this, I’m so exhausted that I need to sleep.
I’m angry that everyone’s life goes on 1 month after my daughter dying. I’m starting to isolate, because I’m so freaking pissed 😡
Good morning Megan! Your breakfast video this morning sure hit home. I so appreciate the tips you gave at the tail end on how to carefully articulate your responses to people that are piling on about you needing to get on with your life. For me in particular it will help me preserve relationships in the future with close friends and family that do this. 🫂 my very best to you today and always as you have helped me immensely with my grief journey.❤
Thank you for making this video Megan. Very insightful. Journalling and exercising has helped me deal with my anger of losing my husband almost three years ago. He passed away before i could officially retire from my teaching career as well as 6 months before our 20th wedding anniversary. 😢
You're very welcome, so glad you're here. ❤
I’m currently reading your book, it’s very helpful
Thank you!
I am a 67-year-old man. I lost my precious girlfriend, 15 years my junior, back in April to cancer. I am very angry and bitter. Anger about was taken from her, what was taken from us. For whatever reason I seem to resent it when I go out into the world and see happy couples together. Sometimes I feel like I’m coming apart.
Anger, sadness, sometimes happy. But always emptiness.
Each day is unpredictable but emptiness is constant.
Anger and annoyance occasionally. If I mention my partner when asked how I’m doing, the response can judgemental. Is it due to us being a Lesbian couple therefore less significant. We were together for 18 years… this year would be 20 years. Invisible and empty.
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If that manageable, than its small anger to me. When the lack of support is complete, it isnt possible to always contain it. Then it's a collective problem that wants the scapegoats to suffer the consequences alone
I am not allowed to be angry or sad.. I buried my boy.. suicide 28.. my husband of 43 years threatened divorce, because I am too hard to live with.. I god damm buried my child.
I'm angry that my husband did something stupid that caused his death. He left me in a mess, no lifecinsurance, taxes that hadn't been done, I've lost my home, I' be had to have an estate sale and sell all my possessions, and now am going to move to go live with my daughter. I am in therapy but I have had to make some serious decisions in the 4 months since my husband passed. I have felt so overwhelmed. My husband was 60 . I am72. How do you start over at 72 ? I have no idea and most of the time I just don't care anymore. Nope this is surely not fair.
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