These people REALLY reacted like this to their death! - r/AskReddit
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 มิ.ย. 2020
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To the doctor taking care of the Portuguese patient, that's a cultural way of the Portuguese reacting to a dead of someone that was long time ill. We prepare our selfs, not for if the person dies, but when the person dies. People have a sense of relief that can shock other cultures. We are relieved bc the person is no longer in pain. Is not a selfish relief is for the person departing.
That honestly is the way I see it. There is a sense of sadness but there is also the relief that the family member isn't in discomfort anymore, and the gratitude of the help of the people who did their best to make them comfortable in the end.
It’s honestly the opposite of selfish, you give up your own wants for this person to live and be with you. But still knowing that they are happier in this state than becore
@@amethyst5538 the Portuguese culture revolves a lot about death, pain suffering, hopelessly and Longines. Our national music "fado" translate to "faith" but it's not the religious type of faith, is more connected to destiny. We don't hide this things and our feelings about it. We don't like suffering or death more than anyone else, but we embrace it as part of life and not something to be hidden.
Seems like a calm and mature reaction. Doctors are neither omnipotent nor omniscient. 💕
Truthfully I wish more people would react like this. It sucks and you don’t want them to leave but you’re glad they’re not in pain anymore. When my grandma died last year of course I cried but I knew it was for the best. Dementia is not fun to watch.
normal people: ICU
text to speech: eye coo
it's better than "i see you"
Ayo hitman bag
People sometimes call it that. I dunno, it's all weird
Where I'm from, everyone says "eye coo" or "ick-oo" (because of NICU) and I didn't realise it was a weird thing
Was drinking water when I got into that part. I almost choked lmao
I couldn't help but nervous laugh at the 2nd one. He went home with meds. Great, glad he's doing ok. Which he used to kill himself. Oh
They really didn't really try hard enough with that one it's sad
I think ‘he’ is referring to the boy who overdosed the same drug given to the dad
karan sandhu Meh, I highly doubt that's the correct interpretation. I'm pretty sure "he" is the father.
F
@@karansandhu4827 no, that's not what they meant. The man said earlier that there would be two funerals and the doctors thought he meant that he was nervous about looking after himself, but he said it because he already knew he would commit suicide
The 2nd hand smoking one was the worst one, I can’t imagine having to go through what he did
Ikr
I would have that level anger and resentment too. I am not the bigger person...
ikr. Devastating.
@Cait L. I think it is more of the aunt lived with them, she smoked a lot, his wife got lung cancer and died. Logic will tell that lung cancer are connected to the aunt, because the wife never smoked. So I understand his resentment of the aunt.
However, I have a friend that just passed from lung cancer and she had never smoked. Some people do get this cancer, only 80% are smokers. To me this was the husband still working through the stages of grief and blaming is part of it.
I'm pretty sure that if my husband dies before me, I will die of "broken heart syndrome". We've been together since we were teenagers, and I honestly can't imagine a life without him. He is the star of my world.
I know that must sound pathetic and codependent to many of you, but the truth is, when you find someone who makes you smile just by thinking of them, even after years and years together, it is a connection that once lost will leave you forever broken. Treasure the ones you love. They can never be replaced. The fact that "broken heart syndrome" exists at all is a testament to the power of love. Cherish it.
Not pathetic, beautiful. Cherish it whilst you can.
I'm the same with my significant other. I'd rather love someone so deeply that I'd be shattered if they'd die, then love them to a degree that would somehow make me capable of handling their death. I guess it will be different when we have kids, but then I'll have someone left to live for.
I just wish that i will find a love like this in my life
I will never udnerstand that feeling bcs I identify as aromantic. However wouldent it be better to not have anyone rather then one thing like that happening.
@@nikolatheme5572 No. At least, not for me. The happiness, companionship, family, love, and over all pure joy being with my husband brings me is worth any pain his death will cause me. I only have one life so I'm not going to shy away from love and happiness because I'm afraid of loss. He is my best friend and favorite person in the world. I wouldn't trade what we have for anything.
I hope that helps you understand a little better😊
I'm an atheist but the last story was actually pretty heartwarming. I admire the way religion can bring people together and give them support :)
Really? I found the whole story super fucking creepy, but that's just me :)
@@ericolens3 Man chilllll I just said it sounded creepy and cultish like to me lmao. Sorry thats just how I think, I wasnt bashing the way yall think at all. It really aint that deep lol
I think it's a common ground they all had. I grew up without religion, but knowing what I know now - I get it. There's just a strong comraderie when everyone believes in like things.
Agnostic Atheist here, and religion can be a decent thing when people use it to help others.
@@ericolens3 dude, easy, they weren't attacking religion they were just commenting on how strange a situation it would look to an outsider. Outside of a church, that kind of interactive preaching isn't really found in most public spaces, and it would definitely be a shock to see the group do a 180 like that
'Dude, if you die, can I have your stereo?' xD
Actually an excellent response in that situation. At that age most people receiving that kind of news without their family present, just need a sense of normality and the knowledge that the people they're close to wont change or treat them differently. Sounds like his mate nailed it.
Idk why but this makes me even more sad
If I were in the sick guy's shoes, I'd want someone to say that to me 😅 Luckily, I think most of my friends would. They know exactly what type of gallows humour keeps me calm.
Yeah, that guy was a bro. The humor definitely softened the impact. I hope the guy got the stereo and treasures it.
ikr, it's a wholesome story, i'd definitely want people to react in a similarly lighthearted way if that was me
When my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer first thing i said to her was "well you've always wanted a boob job" that was my way to deal with pain and fear
But this is a story with a happy ending, she survived and it's still with my and my father
"God will save my child"
Doctor: *says he needs a transplant*
No, God will save my child.
God: Ay yo, wtf? I sent a doctor right there
I feel terrible for laughing at this 😭🤣
Must have been a Jahovas Witness family. They don't believe in medical intervention. My ex- son-in-law refused to agree to blood transfusions, if needed, for his daughter who had to undergo emergency surgery. My wife had to get a court order to be the decision maker whether or not transfusions would be allowed. My ex-son-in- law would have allowed his daughter to die instead!
As a Christian, I approve of this message
As a Christian I must say
Humans have to take care of them selfs
And not Always rely on God
It's OK if you rely on him but
I srsly don't know how to say it without offending anyone
People: help were dying from diseases
God: makes smart people that invent cures
People: these cause autism
God: wtf
I feel awful for the guy whose love of his life died because of his aunt's smoking. I feel his anger.
If you want to smoke, do that. But far away from others. No one wants to die from lung cancer. And if you do, do it alone.
Better yet. Stop at all. The chemicals still cling to your skin, to your clothes, which you can pass to the people living in the same house as you. If you can't stop, just get your own place.
Made me cry. I don't think i've ever just legit broken down like that.
I'm sure the aunt was trying to kill her. My grandmother smoked around us. That generation didn't understand the pitfalls of smoking much less 2nd hand.... but he had every right to feel anger and resentment towards her.
My father killed my pet bird when I was a kid this way. I would tell him "Dad, you cant smoke around Buddy, he's really sensitive to it!"
And he would just laugh and say, "come on, I think Buddy wants some too!"
Bird died. I cried. My mom cried. My father pretends it never happened.
Piece of trash.
@@iusedtousethisaccount6484 I assume you don't talk to your father anymore.
The person wanting to clean the floors didn’t want to be reminded of the horrible event. Plus they were on autopilot. When you do that you aren’t thinking you just go into do stuff mode.
I noticed that too, sometimes when the trauma is to big the person shuts and stops thinking. Like denial, there are different ways people react to shock
It happened to my aunt, she was the one to take care of my grandmother and they lived alone, when my grandmother died, she said she sort of didn't understand, cleaned the house, tucked my grandmother in, and went to sleep, it wasn't until morning that she broke down, her sobs were so long that the neighbors heard her
@@nanana8928 😭 oh no.
The throwaway line about "footprints burned in the carpet" was a whole other story.
My uncle committed suicide (didn't know at the time as murder wasn't yet ruled out) 3 years ago now and this is what happened. Granted I was just 14 at the time but I just started doing things after I was done with the initial crying. I'm not quite the cleanest person even now after a lot of maturing and I was awful back then, but dammit if I found a shoe out of place in the months following up.
If i was the guy who was told their family member had 'expired' in a cold and clinical manner it wouldnt have been the computer that i would punch
Zephra Martin I mean I get why, you you have to understand that if the staff didn’t they’d probably break after a few times of witnessing tragedies. Not to mention how tired they already are. It’s just not a reasonable request no matter how cold it may seem.
But they weren't lying.
@@cimmicacocoa2370 yeah but even if you're desensitized to that it is their job to know how to interact with people appropriately and that person should have common sense not to say that.
@TestHD Induced What would you know? You aren't a doctor either.
Expired is a common term doctors use when someone has passed because it helps take away the emotional struggle of actually saying that they've died. You guys are overreacting and clearly have never had to lose someone in a hospital before.
I’m not crying, you’re crying
I am crying, you're crying too
We're all crying
We're all crying (ussr anthem plays distantly)
I'm not crying, *i a m a h u s k*
We all are. And that's ok
The parents story just got me mad. If MY child needs a kidney, I would give him my own. Those parents basically contributed to the death of their child. Poor baby 😢
Probably wack religious views
@@nihilisticbarbie I actually thought it sounded more like those people who think medicine is a scam and vaccines cause autism, and eating organic will prevent your kid from losing a kidney to illness. =/
@@catarinavidal5329 its worse when they prefer their kid die then take steps using real science and medicine to save them.
@@catarinavidal5329 yeah, could be that too
@@nihilisticbarbie I swear that those parents don't represent us Christians/Catholics.
I started crying when the best friend asked for the stereo. Just reminded me of my best friend and my boyfriend and me. Our relationship is that
Honestly even if in third person I'd think that'd be really mean, I sorta want that.. I don't want any mourning, I just want to be remembered, no sadness no grief, just some fun memories.
I've got friends like that - where our mutual twisted humor will come out to blunt the edge of a moment of shock and horror. Only the best of friends can do that.
Yep
Thats a solid friendship if I ever read one.
_Ah yes, The power of Friendship, every villains weakness_
SecretPerson 59 my family could be like that
I am autistic. When my great grandfather died, a great man who was there every day of my life since I was born. He died when I was about 12. I was sad, but I guess it didn't "faze" me, I dont do well with emotions and even worse with being empathetic. I wish I had gotten sad or more distraught, and I think my aunt dislikes me because of the lack of emotion when I was told.
Holy shit. The same exact thing happened to me except when i was 14, and yes i have autisim as well. I just couldnt really...understand i guess? I mean i knew he was dead i was the person he was talking to as he died, but i guess i just didnt know how to react.
If it helps, I'm also on the spectrum, and I was 18 at the time my grandpa died, and while I was sad about his death, I sort of checked out and just logic'd my way through grief. "He had cancer. Cancer cells work like xyz. They can do this, that, and the other. He went through that process 5 times. So 5 times the cancer cells did __." I didn't break down crying until about two years later.
There's never anything wrong with how we deal with grief. Whether we cry or don't, scream or shut down, we do what is natural to us as individuals because mentally, it's how we survive the loss.
You're not alone. :0)
Still waters run deep. Just because not much is showing on the surface doesn't mean things aren't there, they are just out of view.
To be fair, everyone has different ways of reacting. Some people unconsciously shut off their emotions towards the news, others break down crying, some are in shock and denial.
Everyone has different reactions. I don't usually cry until I am alone or with my spouse or very close friends/family.
If the twins were indentical I could only imagine how he must have felt seeing a face very similar to his being ripped in half
The face of one of his most beloved people on this earth...
It’s like seeing your own body lying there dead.
It’ll fuck a person up.
My twin died. Not identical but we looked very similar. Sometimes I look in the mirror and for a second I see her face. It’s kind of comforting.
@@janarama8029 ♥️
@@janarama8029 I am a twin, we hardly look similar, but I can’t imagine losing her, as much as we fight. I’m really sorry for your loss.
I lost my son on November 29th, 2015. I remember performing CPR on my son for almost 11 minutes before the ambulance arrived. They would not allow me to ride with him. So my husband had to drive us behind the ambulance. I don’t remember the ride. But I do remember pulling up to the ER and finding where my son was and seeing so many people working on him, trying to save him. Everything was moving so fast. The next thing I remember was a doctor and a nurse walking up to me, and their faces were both covered in tears. I looked at the doctor and asked him to tell me that my son was still alive. He said nothing for what felt like an eternity. I don’t remember anything after that until I woke up in a hospital bed hours later. My husband had to explain to me what happened. He told me that I just lost all muscle control and just collapsed to the ground and he said that I let out the most animalistic and gut wrenching scream he had ever heard. He said that I just kept screaming for my son until I literally lost my voice and the doctor made the decision to have me sedated and admitted to the hospital. After I woke up and realized that I would never hold my son again, I just asked my husband to please just let me die. I didn’t care how I died, I just wanted to die. Looking back now I realize how hard it was for my husband to not only cope with the same loss I was feeling, but also being there to comfort me as best he could. I never thought I would ever have to bury my son, no one ever does. But I can say that the actual moment they told us that he was gone and that they couldn’t bring him back, the person I was just died. I never have fully recovered from his death, and I never will. His death was not only sudden, but also very brutal. A few months after he passed away I was still in an almost catatonic mindset where even showering or eating was hard for me to accomplish. I would sleep for 18+ hours a day because I couldn’t handle the pain of being awake. Even now, almost 7 years after he passed away, I still have not even come close to “getting back to my old self”. I know I never will. I used to have many friends and I was a social butterfly. Now I hate going in public. The reason I share this is because the one thing I remember most was watching that doctor and that nurse walking towards me with their heads down, trying to not look me in the eyes because they knew they were about to give my husband, and myself the worst news a person can ever receive. I already knew deep down that my son was gone…I knew because I felt his life leave his body as I tried to bring him back with CPR…but I kept telling myself that he was gonna pull through and make it. But soon as they said the words, it was like getting hit by train. The realization that I would never get to see my sweet boy laughing or smiling again truly broke me.
I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is for the doctors and nurses to have to be the ones to deliver that life shattering news to a persons family. Knowing that you are about to completely crush their existence as they know it. About a month after my sons passing I wrote the doctor and nurse both a card to try and thank them for their care and tell them that I was sorry for not thanking them sooner. I hand delivered the cards, and I am glad that I did that because I got to give them both a hug and just let them know that they are heroes.
Sending lots of love and support to all the medical professionals out there who dedicate their lives to saving others. You are amazing and beautiful souls ❤️
I hope you are better rn.
Honestly, the one that was craziest for me was the one with the overdose and the dad. Shit took a 540 on that one.
Kitty No. 360
suicidal -> not suicidal -> suicidal again
@@kittii2167 180 is opposite, 360 is same -> opposite -> same
okay this is a serious video + comment but duDE 360 DEGREES IS A FUCKEN CIRCLE that would mean not turning at all, u mean 180
Someone failed geometry
My mother had very advanced cancer (smoker) and we were reaching the point where we guessed we were running out of options.
I chased down her Oncologist and asked him what her prognosis was. He told me "spend as much time as you can with her." I told him I didn't understand what that means he said "we are trying treatment protocols which traditionally do not yield results consistent with long term survival." I just went blank and he walked away.
Medical Professionals, I know its hard to say and I know you are afraid of how we will react, but you have to say the words; "your mother is going to die soon."
They aren’t allowed to but they want to, they try to push you in the right direction him telling you to spend as much time with her was probably the best he could do for you without saying she is going to die because that’s her private information.
@@sebastianking5271 Depends on the run of where you are and the wishes of the patient.
Don't want to be rude but what can "spend as much time as you can with her" can mean...
Sorry about the lose tho
I get it. I would need to hear those words too. I wouldn't be able to process it and be in denial otherwise.
Its.. legal reasons.. blame the karens that instead of being thankful someone survived after being told they wouldn't, sued the doctor for emotional trauma. Trauma for thinking they had no chance to survive after a doctor said so.
So they can't tell you they're going to die for certain if its a professional. It's nothing against you. You've gotta read between the lines.. they try..
I remember when I was 8 I woke up to find that my father died in his sleep. Weird how memories like that burn into your head. It's my strongest memory. It's like at that moment reality shifted into a much harder, darker world. I deal with it better now but grief never goes away. It just changes
I'm sorry for your loss. I know sorry doesn't change it but I care. God be with you.
Happened to an old classmate of mine but he was 15 when his dad died. He didn't came to school for a week and nobody mentioned anything about his dad in front of him. We all just had this silent agreement 'Only talk about his dad if you are close to him and he talks about him himself but don't say to much until he is more used to it!'
That was me when I found my older brother dead. That morning is literally my most vivid memory. I've made peace with it by now but damn. You don't forget something like that. I'm sorry for your loss.
the one with the burn victim is what got me. the image of burnt footsteps on the carpet is absolutely haunting
The parents of the kid with lupus should never have kids again
I agree
Oh my god that “two funerals” one absolutely crushed me, that’s so heartbreaking
I lost my father to a lung cancer when I was 11, he passed away very early in the morning from internal bleeding. I was waiting outside the house while the paramedics/firemen ( who have medical formation, in France ) were doing their best to save him. I'll never forget the way they looked at me when they came out of the house, after being unable to save my father. The reason behind this comment is that I'm glad my mother took the responsibility to announce it to me, these guys did their best and I can't even imagine how they could have told that to a little boy. And don't smoke btw, it can hurts other as much as it hurts you.
oh, my father died of lung cancer when i started yr 3, so a few years ago, and i could of been with him when he died, but whenme and my mom got home because i wss bored, my nan called telling my mom he died, so me and my mom were crying, while my brother didnt cry at all😐😑😐
@@skye5057 some people are too shocked or in grief to actually shed tears. thats why your brother didnt cry. but im sorry for your loss
@@skye5057 Midnight blade is right, especially if you're young, its not simple to process what death is, especially when it hits someone close. It took me years before I finally realized that I would never see my father again, in this world at least. I'm sorry for your loss anyway bro
@@Asterite He was like 14-15 and he hardly even cared about my dad, he wasnt even showing emotion.
Same when I was ten, died peacefully in his bed though
Had a friend who told me she had do to be the news breaker:
Family of five, father dies on operating table after being in a car crash. Friend gives the news.
Mother overdoses withing the month of his death. Friend also gives the news to the same family which now consisted of two twin girls and an older brother.
Brother who had almost quit smoking, had taken it up again to cope and within six month finds he has lung cancer. He passes and the same friend who was shocked to see them back, once again gives more bad news.
The two girls live with their grandparents now but during a home invasion, one of the girls is hit on the head with a metal bat and gas severe bleeding in her head, she died in the home. And the grandmother was stabbed 5 times in an attempt to protect the girl. Although she didn't die, she was paralyzed from the waist down. The knife had actually hit her spine. The grandfather and other daughter were just coming home from a five minute walk to the corner shop.
This girl lost 4 of her family members withing the space of a year. Each time the news was given by the same doctor. My friend.
Honestly, I think that's my greatest fear: lose all my loved ones in so little time (sorry if my english is bad)
Jesus Christ
The doctor will probably be in her nightmares for the rest of her life.
I almost don't believe that
Omg
My grandma, she was told that she had cancer next to her eye, it looked like it had been there a few years, she was just glad to finally know what was causing the pain. Broke grandpa's heart though, was a tough couple months after the news
My dad passed away last year in May. Severe.. serrosis? I don't know how to spell it, but he essentially drank himself to.. unliving. Even after a year, I can't say the d word. I was 19, and I cried so hard that my insides felt like they were searing inside, and I cried myself to sleep on the way home from the hospital. When I got home, I woke up, got out of the car, took my night meds, and cried myself to sleep again. After that, I was suicidal for awhile..
I'm no longer suicidal, but sometimes I dream of him and then I get up and go to look for him, only to realize that he's not here anymore... At this rate, now I _actually_ feel dead inside. I wasn't the best daughter, but I really miss him, and I feel so empty without my dad...
I'm so sorry. I went through this same process with a best friend a long time ago and a close family friend who I spent almost as much time with as my parents a little more recently. I'm about 18 now and both were years ago, so the pain isn't as fresh. I would find myself expecting to get a message from my best friend, or hear about the latest "words of wisdom" (what we jokingly called funny quotes) from our family friend before having to remind myself they were gone. I had similar suicidal urges for both, and still sometimes think about it. But I want to reassure you that most likely, it will become less of a void you wish you could refill and it'll be easier to deal with. The pain won't go away, but it'll ease up and you'll have to remind yourself less and less often.
Regardless of how things change for you though, I hope you can get through this and I'm very sorry for your loss. Stay strong.
I'm sorry, really. I hope the pain lessens for you and you can heal
Sorry for your loss. Cirrhosis is no joke.
I went through the exact same thing. My father struggled with addiction and died of cirrhosis of the liver almost four years ago now. I was 18 when he died. I don’t feel like I was the best daughter either because I was constantly angry with him and I eventually moved out of the house because I couldn’t deal with it anymore. He died a few weeks after I left so I still blame myself as if I could’ve stopped it. Even though we had a difficult relationship, he was still my best friend and the best father when he was sober. It took me about two years to feel okay again. Like you, I was very suicidal afterwards and I started doing drugs and self harming. I though I would never feel better or be happy again. Almost four years later now and I am the happiest I’ve been in a very long time. I stopped using drugs and I grew much closer with the family that I have left. Don’t get me wrong, I still miss him dearly. Like you also said, I still dream of him and sometimes think he’s still here. I’ll think “I can’t wait to tell him this when I see him next” or I’ll feel like I can pick up the phone and call him, but then I remember. Just know that it will take time.. maybe even a few years, but you will get through it and have many brighter days. The best thing for me was spending as much time with family and friends as I could to remind myself that I could still be with people that I love while we’re still here. Hang in there. It will be okay ❤️
@@yeahwhatever1184 Thank you so much.. I cried myself to sleep last night after breaking down, so it's nice to hear your kind words while I'm still feeling low.
I'm sad. I'm gonna watch something less sad now.
He too
If you have any suggestions hmu
Kitties are the answer
@@domonzt4947 Watch comedy
Watch cooking videos, I'm horrible at cooking, but it's fun to watch.
The process of my mom dying almost broke me mentally. When they first told me she had cancer and would die from it. (The exact words from the doctor were, "You will pass from this.) I just ... cried. Constantly. Literally constantly. For like several days straight. I couldn't eat, could hardly speak. I just slept and cried. I'd wake up, remember the situation I was in, and cry until I went back to sleep. Aside from hugging my mom and telling her I loved her a lot, that's all I did for about a week.
Then when it got near the end where she was in the hospital for the last time, something inside of me broke. I remember the exact moment it happened, too. I was looking at her lying in the bed hooked up to machines and something inside my head said, "You can't deal with this." And it's like a switch was just flipped.
You know the Vampire Diaries where they turn off their emotions? That literally happened to me. I just stopped feeling. I was completely numb for several months. I didn't cry. I didn't mourn. I was just like, "Well, that happened."
I thought (and so did everyone else around me) that I was just handling it REALLY well. People bragged on me for being strong, etc. Buuuut it turns out I just hardcore disassociated. Spoiler alert: That's not a good thing.
I had ONE person who recognized what I was going through, but I didn't believe him. I kept insisting I was fine.
Well, about a year later I started having hardcore breakdowns. Like a dam inside me had busted, and I was randomly overflowing with so much sadness and grief at seemingly random times. It was so intense that I couldn't handle it. I tried to kill myself two or three times (I legit don't even remember - most of my memory from that time is a blur). I was in the mental hospital, put on several meds... Nothing they would give me worked.
I just had to endure the pain and ride it out until it got to the point that I could function normally again. It's been four and a half years since she died, and I still have times where I get heavily triggered and get a "feeling of impending doom" where it feels almost unbearable for me to stay alive. I honestly worry I will kill myself during one of those moments of insane nightmare-ish sadness. Nerve pills are the ONLY thing that make it go away, specifically xanax or valium, but doctors refuse to write them for me due to the area I live in being a heavy drug area, and they're cutting them out for everyone.
Add to that that my 13 year old niece just died last week. No, I'm not making this up. So now the nightmareish episodes are worse. I've been told it's called "Psychotic depression episodes," but I don't know. I've never had a great therapist.
Anyway, it sucks. Because I don't plan on killing myself in my right mind, like right now. But I'm scared that I'll eventually do it when my mental state is altered. And all it takes to fix it is a simple nerve pill, but I can't get them because they happen to have a street value.
This system is really F'd up.
Crepsly86 I learned that when it comes to grief, you can run, but you can’t hide. I had an insanely bad week once, during which my spouse was crippled with back pain and could not even sit up, my grandmother died suddenly and my dad completely went to pieces, my dog disappeared and was probably killed by a hateful acquaintance, and my sister got sicker and sicker, ending up in the ER for leaking appendix which turned out to be triggered by colon cancer....it’s like the world was burning down around me and I didn’t have TIME to grieve about any of it, because I had so many people and things to take care of. I started waking up with my pillow wet from crying in my sleep....I didn’t know that was possible....
I’m so sorry about what you both are going through
Update?
@@DafiDafi-ch3de Oh, hey. I forgot about this post.
Still here. I'm doing a lot better now a days, though. It's still rocky from time to time but I'm dealing. They gave me nerve pills for two months, then my doctor quit and they took them away again (sigh lol). So I still can't get the one thing that makes those nights easier, but at least they're less frequent now, so all's good.
I don't think grief ever goes away, but it does get easier over time.
Anyway, thanks for the concern. Y'all are kind people.
@@ACZor86 im happy for you Man good luck!
When trying to study nursing. On one placement, there was a woman who would always cry at night sometimes scream in agony. Unfortunately, she couldn't speak English, and we weren't allowed to use family members when giving big medical decisions.
We found out from the nephew that she was in asylum in the country, and had watched all of her children and husband be decapitated. She was from the middle east. When we finally found an interpreter that was able to speak the language, and we informed her that she would be going to a psych unit for help, she nearly cried in happiness and thanked everyone. I'm sure she was happy knowing that she would be able to sleep without those nightmares.
She was a lovely lady, always thanking everyone during the day, even when doing our normal obs and giving meds. I can't remember her name, but I'll always remember her story. I hope she's still alive and well.
The second one caught me off guard in the end...wow😥
Edit: why would the parents reject the child's treatment? People are horrible
It sounded to me like religiously inspired.
The Jehova's Witnesses, for example, refuse things like blood transfusion. Maybe they also refuse other kinds of treatments. Or it was another religious sect/denomination.
Yeah my dad knew some people, religious I'm not sure which but blood transfusions were against it. They chose to let their child die.
Wow
My dad is a small town doctor (works for local baptist hospital) and the saddest thing he said he ever saw was when he broke the news to this ladies two daughters. One of them pulled out a knife and the other took off her high heels and they attempted to kill each other over who would get the 3 acres and doublewide from the 60s. Shits depressing, poverty fucks things up.
That last family is really blessed to have that Aunt and preacher man, they made the right thing happen.
The father who was held on 72 hour watch and then released with new meds that he used to end it with, is proof that just treating the body, alone, does absolutely nothing. Dude needed a spiritual counselor to talk to about his son's passing, not new meds to treat his new depression and broken heart. Meds would never touch that.
i lost my grandmother last october to a Glioblastoma and i remember when my parents broke the news i just stood there. my felt my heart drop, and i remember only saying "no, she didnt." or something along those lines. out of all my grandparents, i was closest to her. i didnt even really cry for a while. i just stood there, unable to react.
i have some videos saved of her, but i never watch them. it still hurts to do so, so i just dont think about it.
R.I.P Grammy
1949 - 2019.
RIP... Sometimes i think about the family members who have been unable to say goodbye due to the lockdown restrictions on hospitals
My grandmother was in a nursing home when she had a second stroke. She was unable to move at all and didn't eat or drink. She was fed sustenance through tubes attached to her neck. The last time I visited her, I couldn't handle it. Seeing her so helpless, so frail. Her muscles had wasted away, her arms were probably the width of a pencil. There was only bone under her withered flesh. I could see black sores that were barely visible and concealed by her gown. She was rotting away right before my eyes yet she was still alive. Still suffering.
I pulled out my phone, found a chair just outside her room, and just sat there texting my boyfriend. He'd lost his own grandmother just a couple weeks before I had, and we both grieved together. My stepfather berated me, my brother mocked me. They wouldn't understand why I couldn't bear to be with her in her last days. To me, she looked like she was already dead. The only sign of life was her raspy, pained breathing as she rotted away on that bed. As my stepfather and brother were leaving, I walked up to her and said, "I'll see you again someday, up by those pearly gates." I knew it was a bitter lie, as I'm atheist and don't believe in that sort of thing, but doctors say that your hearing is the last sense to stop functioning before death.
She died the next day. I hope my words brought her comfort. My stepfather was going to visit her when he was told at the entrance that his mother had passed away. He became more abusive after her passing. He'd take his anger and grief out on me because I didn't shed a tear when he told me the news. I was just happy her suffering had ended. I couldn't bear to see her quite literally rotting away in that room, her brain mostly dead and still dying as she lost all functioning. I still bear scars for how I feel.
Fly high Grandma, I hope those pearly gates are real for you. Because I won't be joining you.
I am 77 wife is 78. I have survived a stroke in 1997 (it changed my whole life), two heart attacks in 2005, and colon cancer in 2013. They are afraid I have bone cancer now. My wife of 55 yrs is slowly dying, it is a hard thing to watch. I was in the hospital for 4 months and lost the ability to walk without a walker. We all die of something. My father died last year, he was 95, my mother died at 42, my daughter died last year, my son is still a live. We look forward to dying and all these pains will end. We had a good life.
I kinda have a story like this, but I was the one being told my family member had passed. I was in a placement facility for kids with bad home lives and one day my mom had come to visit me and take me out of the facility for an hour or so. My Aunt had been diagnosed with a aggressive form of pancreatic cancer and she wasn't expected to live longer than a year. She was diagnosed in September and died that December. When my mom told me that she had died and I hadn't even gotten a chance to see her since I was placed in the facility, so naturally being an emotional 14 year old I started sobbing. The person who ran the facility then placed her hand on my shoulder and said "alright alright, you can calm down now, you dont have to be so emotional about this" and if my mother hadn't held onto me as tight as she could I would have decked that old lady as hard as I could
I watched my mom die in front me. She was in hospice for 9 days after fighting for 5 years against multiple forms of cancer... Much respect for those people who do that on a daily basis and then proceed to tell the family.
I almost died from undiagnosed type 1 diabetes when I was 14. I had a hard time staying awake and kept falling asleep, first at home, then in the hospital.
After treatment had stabilized me somewhat, I fell asleep again, and woke up a few hours later to my mom standing over my bed and said: “sweety, you have diabetes”. I had had a classmate in the past with diabetes, so knew what it was. My reaction was just “oh...” and turned around and went to sleep again. I was sort of relieved because I literally felt like I was dying, and I technically would have without treatment, so I was just relieved it was “only” diabetes. A lifelong manageable illness was preferable to dying at age 14.
My nurse was really adamant that my mom and me have more of an reaction, because she had a daughter with diabetes too, and said she cried for days when her daughter was diagnosed. She kept pressing us on how dangerous diabetes is, and that I would never live a normal life again etc. to make us react more. We were just glad I was alive... I looked and felt like death before, and was rapidly getting better with treatment.
i suppose that the nurse was like that because some people don't take their diabetes and the complications with it seriously.
@@pigeon1923 I think you're right, but I still feel like it was highly inappropriate and unprofessional, because we had more than enough on our plates just keeping up with all the information we were given.
We didn't need mental breakdowns on top of that too. :p
@@Lemonz1989knowledge is power. There are a lot worse chronic illnesses than diabetes if you can stick to the diet and lifestyle requirements. I assume the "1989" in your avatar is the year of your birth so you've been managing it for over half your life, hope you're doing well.
@@texasred2702 It definitely is! Diabetes is a horrible disease and very mentally taxing, but as you said - there are a lot of illnesses that are worse than diabetes.
It is my birth year. I've gotten into year 16 in May with my diabetes. I'm doing well, but have a few minor complications - nothing permanent though, with better control. I've started a more intensive treatment regiment, so the complications will likely reverse entirely eventually. :)
Why do I want to cry when a twins twin dies-
It makes me feel like I’m loosing my twin. :(
Like G&F in HP?
Twins really have a greater connection right? I feel like all the identical twins I've seen really really love each other
Because it makes you think that one day one of you will pass before the other.
I had a set of twin cousins. Boy and girl. Few years ago Alice falls asleep behind the wheel and flips her car. She wasn't wearing a seat belt. She died crushed beneath her car. Her brother, Able, has never been the same. They were always a super tight nit family. Since then Able has moved away and has minimal contact with any of the family. 💔
Vness Te'sales
That hit different, I feel so bad I can feel him..
There's gotta be a separate profession specifically meant for breaking bad news like this
A lot of people believe there is. They call it the priesthood, or ministry, or something equivalent depending on the religion.
For my father they sent the hospital Chaplain.
Yeah they're now called social workers.
The broken heart syndrome...:(
That one really got me :/
@@the44thcosmic_galaxy25 it definitly did get me too from now on i'll will be more careful to not break someone's heart
My nana died of one when my popper died. My pop died 5 day's before I was born due to pneumonia. My nana died 6 days later (when I was a day old) healthy women. Broken heart syndrome.
That one just hit on a whole nother level of pain
Whenever something extremely stressful happens I go super calm. I'm on autopilot. I do t freak out but seem unemotional and i take care of what needs doing. Later...worse and worse over time...depending on the event...I will have physical problems and constant bad dreams. I just dont express extreme emotion well. It seems like I am feeling nothing but it will take me years to get over.
I would rather take care of the people around me than deal with my own feelings.
I worked in theater for a few years as a surgical nurse. I was also the one to tell the family is someone passed. The one that shook me the most was when I had to tell a mom that her only child passed. She just kind of looked lost for a few seconds, dropped to the floor like all her energy had been sapped from her and she just started weeping and screaming. Those screams sounded like pure agony.
13:25 my first doctor called me a hypochondriac even though all my problems were symptoms of Hodgkin’s lymphoma, which I was diagnosed with and would have had stage 4 of if the 30+ tumors were a bit more spread out. I can get where she’s coming from. Nobody believing you and then finding out you were right makes you just thankful that you /aren’t/ crazy.
13:22 no, i get the woman. as a hypochondriac myself, it is exhausting to feel like and worry that something is wrong with you, so it's such a relief when something IS wrong, that someone finally acknowledges how the patient feels
I don’t really consider myself a hypochondriac, but last week I had a doctor’s appointment. I was in the hospital over seven months ago and was told nothing was wrong with me, and that I would recover (I’ve only gotten worse lol) but after that doctor read the biopsy results I brought, he literally explained the results and there was definitely something wrong with me and it was not normal. Knowing that I was basically wasting away at this rate was a bit upsetting, but I wanted to cry because of how good I felt about being taken seriously. No diagnosis, but that doctor promised to send a request to a specialist he trusted which I am waiting for news on.
@@keribere244 Gl man
6:32 I don’t know if they meant “faith” in the Christian sense, but I sometimes see sad Reddit stories where people think that just praying will “do the trick. No. God heals naturally and supernaturally. **Try the natural way while praying** Just wanted to share because I’m always infuriated by these stories of people dying when they could’ve lived.
When I hear stories like this, I'm always reminded of that old joke-story about the man who is caught in a flood and keeps on sending potential rescuers away, saying "the Lord will save me." Then he drowns and goes to Heaven and asks God why He didn't save him. God's reply is: "What do you expect of me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."
@@melkiorwiseman5234 my dad is a Christian. Always says god would make sure the doctor's do a good job. I always tell him that's insulting the doctor. Implying the doctor has no skills.
Gosh, it infuriates me as well. I'm a christian, my family is christian too. We never 'just rely on God, just have faith' because we understand that's not how the world works. My church is also like this, we pray so God would assist in the medical procedures (heck, our church donates to members who needs financial assistant for a medical procedure), not for God to JUST do his work.
They let a child die because of their fanatical believe, it infuriates me to my bones.
@@mvb88 I doubt that is what he's implying. Doctors are human. They can (and do) botch up the process occasionally, no matter how much experience and expertise they have.
You`re trying to be smart but maybe you yourself should use your common sense , when people are in stress and difficult situations , this is what people do , I didn`t really want to write this anyways because someone reading this ight be in a difficult situation themselves but writing this might help people be more cautious of what they write.
The indirect smoking one broke my heart :'(
Imagine having a chat with your twin brother, then going into a car crash and seeing your twin brother's head ripped in half right infront of you, while thinking of the conversation you just had a while ago. Damn, poor guy. Hope surviving twin moves on.
I don’t understand the one where the 11 year old died during routine surgery for a broken arm. How is this possible? Did the anesthesia kill the child? Surely the child died of medical negligence.......can someone try and explain ?
There is an arterie in the arm, can happen but not that common
Could be lots of reasons. Maybe the child had a heart condition that anesthesia made worse, maybe the surgeon accidentally hit the artery, maybe the break force the bone into the artery and it was a slow bleed until they went into surgery and realized too much blood had been lost, maybe he had a mild form of epilepsy but went into a seizure on the table.
Yeah I'm not sure. Kinda surprised they didn't sue. Maybe they did.
I’d bet he had an adverse reaction to the anaesthetic, kills fully grown healthy adults sometimes. Unfortunately it happens and it’s really not anyone’s fault.
The most important thing to know is that when you're under drugs and under a knife to mend something... there is always the slightest, sliiiiightest chance that something can go wrong. It wouldn't even be anyone's fault. An unexpected reaction to medicine. A cut artery. When a child is involved there is just so much more error that can happen. They're very fragile.
3:16 This is exactly how I always thought losing a twin must feel like. I once saw a video where twins in their 20es answered guestions. When the other on was asked what would they to if the other one died... He just burst in tears. It melted my heart.
my twin died 3 days after birth, i never met himz my parents never spoke of him
yet until i reached highschool, everytime id see twins on the street id be instantly filled with this mix of pure anger, sadness and jelousy.
there certainly is a connection like no other between twins
im not a very emotional person but when the story about the guy whose wife died of second-hand smoking I started to cry cause smoking addiction runs in my family and multiple people have had health problems from it luckily I was the reason my dad quit smoking but he had been smoking since he was 15 and quit when he was 36 and I'm sure it has shorted his life span and knowing my brother smokes hurts me
When my Aunt Eunice was told she only had 6 months to live, she took it bravely. She wrote her own eulogy. Paid for her gravestone. Bought her burial plot. Prepaid for the flowers. Aunt Eunice died in the sixth month after the diagnosis. She took it like a champ.
I also had a grandmother who was a huge hypochondriac and apparently she even kept sort of journals detailing her health throughout the week and what not to keep track of what was going on with her. She was eventually diagnosed with fairly aggressive cancer and my mother told me that she had never seen her so peaceful. It was like she finally didn't have to worry about the possibility of being sick anymore and it was just such a relief to her.
The entire JoJo fandom makes jokes about Kakyoin to hide the fact that we're all dying inside
@@ratcheese3043 the whole second half of part five was just straight agony
Omg yes, i swear we're all making memes of Jobros' death when really we all cry 😔
@@beefburgercheeseburgermcch4898 we all shout "CEASER" when we see salad. People misinterpret it as a joke. We really do it in REMEMBERANCE, because the man sacrificed THE LAST OF HIS HAMON FOR JOSEPH. honestly idk which jobro is best
@@scarletrequiem2340 honestly tho, it goes from Giorno having a dream to the fans having dreams that the characters stop dying for like 4 seconds (sorry Mista)
@@ratcheese3043 exactly
Oh, the poor father who couldn’t live without his son, I know how he felt. Almost three years ago I was on a cruise when my 24 year old son was stabbed during a mugging, he was critical but did survive. The decision was made not to tell us until the ship docked three days later. A nephew called his father who we were travelling with to break the news. So many people were angry that we weren’t told, my brother tried calling and messaging me but my phone was turned off. I was told just before docking, I remember looking at our balcony and realising that I wouldn’t have survived the three day wait. Pictured myself jumping off the balcony.
If my twin sister died, I believe I would definitely end up dying from broken heart syndrome. I know you must be strong but like the twin that watched his brother's death and felt like his life's purpose was gone. That would definitely be me too. Cherish your loved ones.
I basically tricked my little brother into taking a short vacation to bring a "Power chair" he'd found on Craigsist home. He was "Helping us out where I couldn't"... AND it gave him a chance to visit his (our) mom... at the time.
About a month later she was gone, coded out next to midnight. I came home from paperwork and hospital to about 2 dozen messages from him... But it being past midnight, I'd have let it go until morning...
...Then he called again, and I answered. That was "the hard conversation" between us.
"Where the hell have you been?"
"Are you sitting down?"
"No. But what the hell, dude? Why can't you call back? Your fingers broke?"
"No... I've been to the med-center. Can you sit down?"
"Yeah... I'm in the kitchen. I can sit down anytime I like. Why?"
"Sit down."
"Okay, I'm sitting. You're scaring me, man. What's wrong?"
"We lost her, Dude. Mom's gone... I had... to sign off on her tonight. That's where I was."
"No... no??? ...oh god..."
This is how it approximately went for us.I can't say anything to "normal". I'd manipulated him to come visit a bit more than normal because it was foreseen... It didn't make anything easy, but I like to hope it was less hard than it could've been. ;o)
The one where the man only had his boss - this is a reminder to do something with your life, something that connects others, or helps others.
My mom had this boyfriend when I was small, I wondered what happened to him- he had died. But the tribute for him was from the VA Vets who posted his obituary & thanked him for all the volunteer work at the hospital. His family wasn't with him (divorced & estranged) but he helped vets, and that's something.
I'm a med student and I was on my neurosurgery rotation. A 6-year old girl was sitting in the passenger seat of one of those large hunting ATVs and fell out while they were driving, and the back tire ran over her head. The entire 5 person family was in the ATV when it happened.
Me and my attending operated on her for over 7 hours. We finally pronounced her on the table. When we went into the waiting room we didn't even get a chance to say a single word but the looks on our faces must have conveyed what happened because the mother let out this shriek and dove to the floor. The whole family broke into wails. Even though I've seen and heard distraught family before, those sounds are impossible to forget.
I cried that night when I went home to my girlfriend. It's hard to firsthand experience that level anguish and then turn it off and be yourself later that day.
I’m a hypochondriac, so I can kind of understand the woman who was diagnosed with breast cancer. I don’t think she was exactly happy to be diagnosed, but probably more so relieved that she finally had an answer for what she was probably obsessing about for a while and was ready to take action to get healthy again.
My mother used to work in a retirement home for wealthy people. One of her favorite patient and best friend there was a wealthy woman who worked for the government. The woman was super sweet and considered everyone as her equal. She even paid the law studies of her nephew and niece because she loved them like they were her own children. Her family didn't love her the same way tho. Eventually her illness catched up on her. Her niece nephew and sister all came to her deathbed but rather than stay to her side until the end they loudly laughed and split her belonging between them as if it was a celebration. They even asked my mother "can't she die any faster? I'd like to empty the room before 8." My mother was so shocked and angry for the woman that she went and cried in the employees bathroom.
That's sad
A family member i was close to died. The fact that he died was completely gone out of my mind. I went on for weeks thinking she was alive. The bomb finally dropped on me when i was playing video games. It felt as if my feet were not on ground and my chest was freezing. It physically hurt
For the couple who miscarried while on a trip, you aren't supposed to ho on airplanes after the first trimester, specifically because it can cause miscarriages, premature birth, or complications. Even if the couple didn't know this, why would airport staff ever let her on the plane in the first place?
My grandpa had a heart attack, and went into a coma. I was in the ICU with my dad and watched my grandpa suffer for 2 hours until he died a few days after he was in a coma. It was a traumatic experience. This was a day before 4th of July. I can't comprehend anything right now. Im still depressed about the experience. My grandpa was my mom and dad when no one was there
6:48
This infuriates me. I lost a friend when I was 11. A kind girl who was a heaven on earth. Her family wasn't the best, but her mother and father cared. She didn't particularly like her stepfather and wanted to live with her dad. She made this apparent around a year before her death. She wasn't allowed to go and live with him instead of her mum and stepfather. She was heartbroken, since she preferred him as a parent. Her parents took care of her, but she didn't know how to take care of her heart illness and didn't even know what it was called and why she was taking so much medication. Her father and mother screaming and crying together after being divorced for a while was a sight I wish she could have seen. It was horribly sad, but also happy in a way. Her parents were getting along because they were united with grief. Her death broke my heart and I've never mentally recovered years later. How could a parent not do all they can to save their child? It affects them, their family and all their friends. Even if they didn't care for their child, someone does. And losing someone that young leaves a gaping wound in your heart that can never be filled.
Not a doctor nor did I have to inform anyone. I used to work at a health insurance company and one of the things I remember most vividly is the woman who called about her recently deceased 19 year old son. Killed by a drunk driver. He had died less than a week prior, and she was finalizing everything with his account. Just stuff that needed to be done. Just hearing the emptiness in her voice was heart breaking.
I lost my loved grandma six months ago, she had two surgeries in just one week and after that she lived her last three months in an hospital bed, in chronic pain and obviously depressed. She was 87. She didn’t deserve to suffer that much. She was extremely smart and with a pure heart of gold, she had a great memory and she did give me the happiest memories, and obviously lots of love and affection. She supported me when i told her i was homosexual, she was always supportive. I talked to her two times a day. Now, i miss her phone call at six o’clock, i miss her voice. I miss everything about her. I was with her the entire time she was hospitalized and i was with her all night before she passed away in the morning. Honestly, i was relieved that she wasn’t suffering anymore, but nothing prepared me for the grief, the pain, the derealization I’ve gone through after that. She will always live in the warmth of my heart and memories. She was the best person i knew. She was strong, and I want to be strong like she was.
14:57 Yikes there was actual sentient disappointment in the AI's voice at "they didn't".
That story of the brain cancer patient and his friend is oddly heartwarming. I've had 91 surgeries and almost died four times (I am almost 22 years old) and because of my health crises and resulting PTSD, I have a fucked-up sense of humor, and am very cynical. The most recent near-death experience was 2017. I had a complication from a surgery (par for the course with me, if I have a surgery and there are no complications, I get suspicious) and went septic. The doctors decided that the best thing to do was put me into a drug-induced coma. Right before the propofol took effect, I looked at my mom and said, "This time, I am going to die." I feel guilty about it because having that be the last thing I say to her before a 10 day coma only added to the trauma she has from being there with me for all of my health crises, but I still believe it. I should not have survived. There is no excuse for the fact that I am still alive (I think, when I got out of the coma, my brain was really fucked up and I had hallucinations that felt as real as typing this does.)
When I was an intern doc in obgn next door, in pediatrics, one child was brought sick. The ped doctors took the baby inside the ER bay and asked the parents to wait, after 2 minutes one doctor came out to explain the status and to request signatures and all. They clearly saw that there were at least 3 doctors and 4-5 nurses, with the child.
The doc started saying something along these lines and the child's grandmother slapped the doctor across her face and yelled at her "stop talking to us and go save my child"! The entire place was crowded, the child wasn't even that sick.
Police was called and the lady was charged for assault.
6:45 is genuinely pissed me off. *HOW THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT YOUR KID TO LIVE WITH A MACHINE AS KIDNEY?*
The one around 8:30 hurts real bad. I remember learning about how people exposed to second hand smoke are more likely to suffer from its consequences than the person actually smoking. I think it's because of the filter in the cigarette/cigar/etc keeping some of the poisons out of the user.
It's just so tragic to see how one woman smoking constantly didn't really have to face the consequences of her own actions until she was very old, while someone who never smoked a single cigarette in her life ended up with lung cancer and dying much earlier in her life.
I know firsthand what it feels like to completely shatter when told that a loved one has died. When I lost my brother, the cops came to my house and first told my parents, who later came to get me and my siblings. During the time where I wasn't allowed downstairs, I was frantically calling and texting every family member asking when the last time they had spoken to my brother was, because we hadn't heard from him in weeks. When I finally learned that he had hung himself, everything just exploded, and I had let loose a screech so loud that it could have come from a banshee. After what felt like an eternity of shredding my vocal chords, I had worn myself out enough to ask the officers if there were any self-harm injuries, which I had him promise me that he would never do to himself, as I had done so before and never wanted him to go through that. The police assured me that there were none, which made me almost melt into my chair with relief, even within the context of everything they told us. When I was finally able to start thinking rationally again, I asked them if there were any scratches or claw marks on his throat, because I knew that was a sign that he would have regretted what he had done just a bit too late, but likewise with my question of self-harm, they told me there were no scratches on his neck, which as sad as it was to hear that my brother had genuinely hated his life so much to not even struggle in his final moments, it was also a relief because I knew that his suffering had finally come to an end. In the weeks leading up to the funeral, I had dissociated through most of it, only occasionally allowing myself to cry. I talked to my therapist a lot during that time, which is possibly the sole reason that I didn't follow my brother to the grave. At the wake though, all of the suppressed emotion exploded out of me once again when I saw how small the box his ashes were in. I wasn't even able to give him one last hug, his body was decayed far too much to have an open casket, and my parents knew that I would open the box myself if we still had his body. The wake was hell in its purest form, I had been in such anguish that I had even had a seizure, something that had never happened before. The wake lasted an eternity: I thought was all my life had ever been and ever would be, rocking back and forth in a chair rapidly muttering "no" over and over again, my vision locked on one singular fiber of the carpet as I caused my brain to asphyxiate from lack of oxygen, leading to my collapse and aforementioned seizure. That was the day where I truly knew what hell was like. Grief destroys every fragment of being. My mind had completely and utterly shattered, my reality was no more, and I genuinely would not wish that feeling on even the most vile of human beings. Nobody deserves to have their soul ripped from their body, the agony is truly unfathomable.
I honestly feel bad for the former nurse.
When my grandfather died in the hospital a doctor came out and said he had "expired" my aunt and mother broke down in tears my uncles stood there silently and my cousin screamed "WTF DO YOU MEAN EXPIRED HES A FUCKING PERSON NOT A GALLON OF MILK!!" it would have been hilarious but it wasn't considering the circumstances.
Was told by doc I had severe bronchial pneumonia. Lost 3/4 lung use & needed a list of meds. I explained was living in my car with no money or insurance (was given the money to see doc by friend) and he was waisting paper writing the prescriptions. He screamed that without treatment I would be dead in 2 weeks. I thanked him, said I understand and would use that time to get back to my mom to say goodbye. Doc yelled that I wasn't taking it seriously but what else could I do? I'd already been denied any and all gov. programs and saw no way to find alternative within the 2 weeks. He started crying. I felt bad for him but I was ok with it. I'd been pronounced dead before so knew what happens and wasn't afraid. Did get help obviously as still alive. Don't think the doc ever realized I did fully understand. Or maybe he just couldn't grasp a life bleak enough that death was not seen as a bad thing.
I have worked the ER, and Palliative/Hospice care.
I've seen everything from anger, to despair, to dropping dead from a grief induced cardiac arrest less than 10 minutes later.
Probably the death that fukked me up the most however, was the older Peruvian woman who was on vacation in the States.
Admitted to the ED for minor stomach pain, we figured food poisoning from one of the food trucks she had talked about eating at.
A little later as we are waiting for lab results, she looks at me and whispers in broken English "I go now." And just...died.
Abdominal aneurysm. It started as a slow bleed, which was why the pain was minimal. When it let go, she just knew she was going to die, and let me, the nurse on duty, know what was coming.
Her daughter had gone to get a drink. Was gone maybe 5 minutes. I had to tell a 15 year old who was on vacation with her only living parent, in a country she wasn't a citizen of, that her mother had passed.
The doc should have done it, but he told me to do it "you have kids, right? You tell the daughter."
2:33 really broke my heart, the whole thing is heart breaking and some parts heart warming.
6:49 pisses me off with christian parents. Hernia runs in my family and for some of us it's painful but parents refused surgery because they have FAITH that GOD WILL HEAL US when we told them that we wanted to have the surgery done to stop the pain. To make someone else suffer because of your beliefs is selfish. Last time I checked god helps those who help themselves that's why we have doctors. I swear if we didn't need vaccines to attend school we wouldn't have gotten vaccinated and died of some simple disease.
Why can't Christian parents understand that believing in God but doing nothing to help their child doesn't heal them?
Faith 👏 is 👏 dead 👏 without 👏 works
I would like to state that the majority of Christians are not like that couple.
Worked in a hospital for a couple years - opportunistic job after a lay-off; not my normal career field - and keep thinking I could write a book about what I experienced there. I can only imagine what actual medical professionals experience over the course of decades... so now, having been hospitalized myself a couple times, I do my best to be pleasant and kind to the staff. They've got a mind-bogglingly tough job, and come in every day to do it... for the rest of us. Take the bad news with all the grace you can muster, and thank them.
This is very true and should be taken to heart. With the exception of doctors like the guy who said "expire" smh
In April of 2018 we saw an x Ray of my Great Aunt's lungs. They were full of tumors. She had uterine cancer. When December of that year came we were told that they were removing treatment. She seemed to be going okay. There was a photo taken on Christmas Day of her and my Nan. Four days later she's being rushed to hospital because she couldn't breathe well. On the 2nd of January her daughter said to her: "I know you want to go and be with Dad. It's okay." The next day my GA passed away, waiting until her daughter left to go have some lunch. It was like she was waiting for her daughter to leave so she could pass.
Great Aunt Ailsa, I miss you.
♡Your Loving Niece
i am currently studying to be a doctor and this hit me hard, i always said i want to help people and bring them joy when they get better, now i should also think about the people whose hopes would be broken by me, and i would have to support them and console them after giving them heart-breaking news.
also the high probability that something like this could happen to my family or me at any moment, i would never know when it is my last moment with someone i love dearly.
i should be thankful for every minute my loved ones are healthy and with me, and i should do my best to make them proud and happy. i am going to be the best version of myself, for others and for myself. i remember that my physics teacher once said, "work so hard and honestly, love yourself and others so much that even if you drop dead the next moment, you won't regret anything."
My mom got news that a friend of hers, a guy I had met but didn't know well, who had a really loving family and was enjoying retirement, had had a fatal heart attack.
We got this news in the middle of decorating a Christmas tree.
I never understood why, but after my mom ran off crying, I burst out into this really cruel laughter.
My siblings looked horrified, and to this day I think it's part of the reason we're not very comfortable around each other.
If you didn't actually mean ill and didn't actually like the fact that he died, I'd bring it up with your siblings and explain it to them if you could. This video is a testament to how much more fucked up situations like these can be with estranged family.
That already happened to me. People were confused and never talked about it
I was going to be a doctor, but I am so glad I went comp sci instead. I much prefer to tell people their computer is dead (as an obligatory tech guy). Hell, I can laugh when I say that sometimes.
My aunt passed away in 2015 to breast cancer that she had been fighting for years. She had three children, my cousins, and they had lived in a very dangerous neighborhood. The eldest son had see and done a lot of things, participated in gang activities, drive bys, and killed before. He was a drug dealer and a dropout. His father abused him and he only ever found solace in his mother. The morning that she died, my family have arrived first to the hospice. We all cried and the mood was thick. I will never forget when the eldest son entered the room. He imidiatly threw himself into her bed and cried. He cried, “Mama! Mama!” over and over again. His voice was rough and his face was red. It was like seeing a giant building crumple. The pain in his voice haunts me five years later.
I'm not a doctor, but I was once told it wasn't likely that I would live through the night. (bacterial spinal meningitis). I was in my early 20's at the time. I asked the doctor to call my mother and it was HER reaction that was pretty messed up when the doctor told her the news. He had to come back and tell me (with actual tears in his eyes) that my mother refused to come to the hospital (which was literally only a 30 minute drive from her house) because she was "too buy doing the laundry." The doctor then told her it was unlikely I would survive the night, and a mother should be by their child's side at a time as dire as this. And she flat out said, "She's not the child I really care about so it doesn't really matter if she dies." I haven't talked to my mother since. And obviously I managed to survive it....thankfully, but honestly....Part of me feels it would have been less painful to just die that day than to be faced with the knowledge that my mother never cared about me...like at all. It's enough to destroy a person.
Lost my husband june 21 2002 had to be told by the er staff and police as i arrived to get there for my son who came away with a broken leg n face😭
My grandmother passed when I was 11 or so. She was really sweet and she acted like a role model for me; she lived in our home on the 1st floor and I talked to her when she was awake. At the age of 11, I had started talking to her more about school, my worries going into the teen years, and her love of Frank Sinatra’s music. I was starting to understand her and yet it was her time to go. They put her on hospice and by a handful of days, she was ready to move on. I remember we were about to sit down for dinner and my father said “go check on your Yia-Yia”. She was resting and still breathing very peacefully. After dinner I checked on her and she wasn’t breathing. I still remember seeing her peaceful face, waiting for a person to arrive to pronounce her, and then her being taken away.
I am not a doctor, but I witnessed the reaction of my family when they heard my young (maternal) uncle died (didn’t even reach his 30, was 28, believe). I was sleeping with my grandma, was over at her house.
They had to call an ambulance beforehand so they could medicate her so she doesn’t have a heart attack, my mom and dad where the ones to tell the news, my mom is a doctor. My aunt was crying uncontrollably, my grandpa cried, then went silent and went to the barn. My dad went after him so he wouldn’t hang him self. My uncle’s wife was shouting and crying, everyone was grieving.
You know what surprises me the most as a small child? After a few hours, the women sat down and started to prepare for the ceremony. In my god forsaken country, a burial includes “alms”, if that’s the right word for it (a tokens to commemorate the person that passed, like a t-shirt/cover/cup/bowl/napkin/other stuff, a type of pretzel, some sweets, a candle and something to light the candle).
Even remembering now makes me furious. Instead of properly grieving, they had to think about this bullshit tradition. My uncle died in another country, so they had to send him here, so they would have had plenty of time to prepare the next day. But no, what would the others say if they didn’t get everything right? The day of the burial, the whole village came, but instead of grieving and wishing their condolences like normal people, a lot of them shouter to get those “alms”. At the reception afterwards, where a lot of food was cooked and served to everyone, people even stole silverware, dishes and food, some silverware and dishes were borrowed as no one expected so many people to come (i do mean the whole village, hundreds, and they kept coming). Instead of saying their last goodbyes, my family had to deal with this.
While my mom was still pregnant with me, she developed a rare form of breast cancer. She beat it once, but then it came back and she passed away after about 3 years of battling it when I was 2 and a half. Somehow, over a decade later, I found out that my best friend's mom was one of the nurses who aided her in her final hours at hospice. She also attended her funeral. Crazy how my best friend is her daughter. It really is a small world.
the niece/nephew in 8:36 was probably in shock from this sudden news and is reliving all the moments in the aunt's life that caused this.
The one with the wife who died of lung cancer hit very close to home since my family has an history of lung cancer (only the women)....and still, my dad and brother refuse to go smoke outside or near a window when i'm in the same room as them. I even got in conflict with one of my cousin because for him my dad has the right to do whatever he pleases in his house (i still live with him, i'm 19 and i'm still at school) and i have no rights to say anything about it. The worst is that i purposely don't smoke because of the risks i have with this particular type of cancer a'd they still "force" me to be a second hand smoker.
Sad my dad and my family don't care.
Had a grandma who had 1 1/2 lungs removed. Died 6 months later. Lung cancer.
I have a lot of related medical stories for some reason lol. When I was 8 or 9 years old, I was babysat by my grandparents most of the time and every day throughout the summer. One of their elderly friends was quite sick and in the hospital so we went to visit her. The elderly woman's middle aged daughter was also there and we were friends with her too. We all talked for a bit and then the doctor came in. The doctor tells all of us that elderly woman has advanced stage cancer in her lungs. Her daughter's eyes got huge and she just instantly screamed and sobbed out, "No! That's what my father died from! Not my mother too, no!" I was so sick and terrified watching her break down like that. I had never seen a person so devastated before and my heart broke. My grandpa ushered her and I out of the room and into the lobby. The daughter just sobbed and sobbed and couldn't stop. I remember just staring at her and wishing that I could help her somehow, but I couldn't.
When I was 17, my dad picked me up and suddenly told me that my mom was in the hospital with many blood clots spread throughout her lungs. I remember him saying, "It's not good". That scared me so much to hear that from my dad because then I knew this must be very serious. I'm not an incredibly religious person, but I instantly messaged everyone I knew to pray for my mom because I was so scared. I just remember praying, "God, please save her. We need her too much and I'll die without her." I didn't want to stress my dad or myself too much so I did my best to stay as numb as possible. I forced myself to keep it together when I saw the mom I love more that anything, covered in wires and tubes and hooked up to oxygen. But the day she was released from the hospital and I could clearly see that she was doing a lot better, I lost it. All the fear and pain and anxiety that I had been keeping pent up for the past three days came pouring. I sobbed and screamed and shook like a little girl. "Mommy, you could have /died/! I couldn't even picture living at our house without you! I /need/ you!" I will never ever take my mother for granted again.
My mother was killed by a drunk driver. When the hospital called, they just say "Involved in an accident. Come to the hospital." So no detail means DOA.
thanks for the tip
and sorry about your mum :(
@@youreworthyourweightinavoc7189 Thank you.
I am real sorry about that and I hope you have a good day today
@@josepholeskey6261 Thank you. It was almost 20 years ago. Still sucks though.
I have this weird reaction whenever I'm stressed scared or sad where I smile, my family doesn't know about it because I can usually hold it back until I'm alone. So my grandfather died a couple days ago and everytime I think about him I smile so I'm now really nervous to attend his funeral because of the reaction. Don't want my family to think I'm happy about it.
Should've just told them you remember the good memories
Yes that's my issue and I'm gonna b studying nursing.. Mi hope i don't do this when giving bad news
The indirect smoking, I hate that one, my aunt almost lost her newborn baby because she was diagnosed as tbc when she was pregnant, none of the family in the house is a smoker, but some people in the area they live are, they both have tbc and they both manage to fight it out, I found out that one time she (the baby) was almost not be able to survive, and my granddad was telling my aunt to give up, but I think my mom and my uncle keep telling her not to, now she's a healthy 2 years old and already learned to walk 💕
Not a doctor, but in my final year as an undergrad, I almost lost my grandma, the woman who helped raise me for 20+ years. I was 3 hours away, unable to get to her but had amazing friends who were prepared to take me back home if need be. My professors were also understanding if I couldn't come to class due to crying uncontrollably or having unexpected anxiety attacks or migraines. Except for one. My Spanish professor literally, and I'll never forget this, said, "Well you need to come to class regardless. You can't miss a conversation, and you can't make it up. It doesn't matter." I lost all the respect I had for her at that point. She also cost me my honors diploma, but I about smacked her so hard. She knew how close my grandma and I were, and how desperately I needed to be there, and how even 3 hours away it was killing me inside to know that she was dying.
Luckily, my grandma survived, and she's still kicking! That professor, though, will never have my respect ever again. She's been reported by myself and countless other for her unsympathetic behavior. She has tenure, so not much can be done unfortunately. I'm just glad to still have Nana around ❤❤
The guy at 20:22 reminds me of my granddad when he passed at 64 he was always joking around and being goofy it hits me in the face thinking it's only been 4 years