True my ex narc keep popping up on face book with a whole lot of money laying on the bed stack of 100.00 dollar bills and some, what is that suppose to mean to me?
The part about narcissists being eternally dissatisfied. Never happy. And the part about them not FEELING anything. No emotion but dark emotions like anger, jealousy, anxiety.
Exactly. The problem is more than a lot of bad behaviours. The spiritual isn’t talked about directly. I think making it a “science” avoids the spiritual component.
I have experienced the narcissist that is unable to accept that they have hurt someone or made mistakes . I view mistakes as an opportunity to learn . A "mistake " repeated is a choice .
People with CPTSD also idolize a love interest. We experience limerance, constantly thinking about the person and only see them with rose colored glasses. We see red flags and yet we rationalize, excuse and ignore them. Then we get our hearts broken and we no longer idolize them. We see the monster and start to become bitter, rezentful and sometimes we even seek vengeance. It's similar to narcissistic idolizing, except we're not monster's. We wish to see the monster be exposed
If you're inflicted with CPTSD, can you become narcissistic? Also, a disabled militsry veteran. His mindset becomes disconnected at times with his demanding FOO. There are bouts of rage with me as spouse after doing exhausting work for entitled extended family.
@@ActiveSneakers I think it´s possible but not really the case for most. I have C-ptsd and I´m more a Introverted kinda Misantrophic person. I just distrust most humans beings after a lot of Betrayal and Abuse. Wich doesen´t mean I want to harm them. Just want to be left alone by most. But if I start to love someone tho, i do very deeply. No matter if it´s friends or partner. And I´m always there, if they ever need me.
It's a form of protection from the situation. You inner warrior/protective narcissist ,roars out,to shield your heart,when you get attacked. It goes back to sleep, when the parties over.
I'm a narcissist and my marriage is failing because of my attitude and what I've done. But I'm sitting here watching this video and a lot of the others on this channel in an attempt to change. I believe God can change me and my heart and redeem my marriage
He can change you. Don’t get discouraged and don’t give up overcoming. It might take longer than you expect but as long as you don’t give up you will overcome this.
@@Badfilms-u6j I've gone to therapy a few times and I'm in two other groups for recovery and even though it's been up and down in my marriage I feel like things have turned around for the better
I came here just to say that 🫂 😊..my mother hated that I had the book Toxic Parents on my shelf as a 19 year old..but NEVER considered reading it! 📚 😅 💡
Yes they would. There are some that are striving to get better/smarter in their ego and presentation style. Edit: never say never, especially with a narc. Don’t underestimate their attempts to get better at abusing.
took the words right outta my mouth! Narcs dont want to learn anything they refuse any help because they think they perfect the healiest human being on the planet theres absolute nothing wrong they cant make mistakes in their minds.
Thank you for a brilliant video Danish. Only God can help a narcissist. Only God can replace their heart of stone with a loving heart of flesh ❤ we must leave the narcissists alone. We can not help them. If we keep playing their games, we are enabling evil to spread and we must not let that happen. God bless you❤
The most accurate, honest, and insightful description of this personality style I have ever heard. It has given me the strength to continue to go no contact with my current (and final) narcissistic parasite. She will get no blood from me, and whether she eventually goes away for good or not, she will never again shit on my humanity. Perfect timing for me. Thank you and God bless you
John, if you don't mind my 2 cents here, I was raised by a psycho narc and so was conditioned (most of us began this way) and so it took me personally years to wake up, I just thought it was "me" and that I must be a loser or cursed, I really did. #1 thing, have a spiritual life that works for you (I meditate on God daily), you can't make it thru life without God's help and we aren't meant to do this alone. thank God! anyway, I frequently watch these videos (esp. Danish because for me he has it down to details but there are many on YT who have a lot to offer), anyway, I watch the vids almost daily (at least one) to keep me "strong" and "aware" because it helps me to keep on my toes and not get depressed and falling for any of the bs they give out. it helps us - reading the comments too - because it helps to know others are in the same boat and trying to heal. you can do it. keep learning so you don't fall into the trap, they (a narc) does not want to lose a source, so they will circle back around to see if they can subtly get back in. I am getting good at knowing the signs so you can too. it is okay if they go away for good, by the way, you can only change yourself, not anyone else. know you deserve better and are worthy to receive and have what you want and need. God bless you. Thanks Danish!
@@jbrown2908you are absolutely correct you just flip-flopped the terms. Watch the video again and you will see that Danesh is referring to it as a 'style' precisely because it is built in and cannot be changed, whereas a 'mental illness' (which most OTHER experts call it) can be clinically identified and cured. WE know this is inaccurate and gaslighting. A person's 'style' is a part of who they are ... always. Narcissism IS a mental illness of course, the only one that cannot be cured. That's why he's calling it a 'style'. I don't think I communicated that too good but anyway it was nice chatting with you
wrong, it's choice. it can become compulsory when it's gone on for so long that it has become a habitual way of being. no one is a victim here, it's all a matter of choice. you are the result of your choices. God didn't intend us to be evil or act evil or think evil, that's a choice. no coincidence.....@@jbrown2908
Wow!!! That was powerful! At least I know that I am not a narcissist. Because all the things you said in this video, was done to me . But God is merciful to me. He is putting me back together piece by piece from the destruction that was done to me my whole life.
I confess, I watched this video with some trepidation... I have to remember that my new power after a long stint with a narcissist doesn't make ME a narcissist. I have not felt power before (not to this extent) and sometimes when I feel a new confidence, I confuse it with vanity... and narcissism. I'm looking forward to finally healing and being sure that self-care is not selfish. Woof... 😕
I did too. Just earlier, I was thinking to myself, "am I the narcissist?" You can't help but replay those scenarios where you didn't act your best so you automatically assume it's your fault because you've been indoctrinated to feel ashamed of your own existence. BTW, I 💜💜💜 what you said about power and confidence- I get tripped up in it too. Thank you for saying the words I couldn't articulate.
I just have a really have a serious problem with humans hurting other humans 💔 I feel like it's something demonic. When you started "talking to the narcissist" that's probably not even trying to watch this about themselves bc yeah wasn't knowing how to deal with someone that I just heard the word ( Narcissist ) and a few little things started fitting together and I'd shut down. Literally getting deprogramed from the brain washing. I have so many blank times in all the years I stayed out of that freeze mode bc my adult children think the Narcissist was keeping me drugged up with all the medications and they also found empty blood thinner medication from past illnesses and usually a blood thinner after any procedure I was having done for different reasons but all the time, anyway they found quite a few empty bottles and that was odd I know all the bottles shouldn't have been empty and we all knew I stopped that kinda medication and was put on that was more stable I think . Just odd.
I love your channel, so well said everything. I grew up with a narcissistic mother. At 17, I got a call from my sister that my father was in the hospital about to have gallbladder surgery. I called my mother to tell her I was staying the night at my dad's house where my sister lived since we would be going to the hospital. My mother told me to come home now or not at all since she hated my father and they were divorced. Worried about my father's condition, I went to the hospital. The next morning, my sister followed me to my mother's house since we knew she would be true to her word. Once there, my mother took my keys to the house and car, then locked the door in our faces. It was the most depressing thing, then having to take a bus to stay in the same high school from an hour away from my father's house. My father was so happy to have me living with him, since my mother fought him on this. Those years with my father were the best of my life. We didn't have much money, but there was so much love and safety that nothing else mattered. She later told people that I thought I was too good to be driving the old Volks Wagen bug she supposedly gave me, while keeping the pink slip the entire time to keep taking it away, but she did throw a Birthday party for me to show everyone she gave me that car. So many lies where she never admitted taking it away, it just makes me sick to my stomach
I'm so sorry that you went through this. I hope that you are healing. Their abuse can take so much out of a person. They know it, too. Prayers for healing!💗
Ugh my Narcissistic Mother rages with Jealousy too and was abusive emotionally, verbally, financially and physically abusive. I'm an adult now and live in another state far away for her. She'll never change and is now 72 yrs and still pulls her stunts but it doesn't work with me anymore or at least I don't show it works. It's easy for me because all I have to do is not answer her calls, return when them when I'm ready and dismiss her when she starts, which is every call. I just merely state I got to go my clients are calling etc or I have a meeting etc. I don't think it would be as easy if I lived in the same city.
keep coming here to watch the videos and read the comments, that's what I do - keeps us aware and less vulnerable to their antics. keep self healing......we're meant to be happy, being miserable is their choice.............@@JessiesFamily
Blxxdy hell !! .. mate...😮..I'm an Aussie lady...I tell ya wot ..I been thru the exact same experience...my mother is jeleous of me and my sister coz we're both artists and we both look like Pamela Anderson beach girls😮. .U think a mother would be proud to have daughters like that..she is a fxckin sicko.. anyhow..Ur amazing 🤩..I know U r!!!!! ...see U in the new world 🌎...x🌞🦘🎸💦😁👍
I definitely had some major narcissistic traits when I had narcs in my life. They seem to have Demonic attachments. If you find this happening to you go no contact with at least one narc. Get Baptized ASAP. This made the confusion spells wear off in a few weeks for me. Now I am at peace.
I never used to believe I that stuff - witchcraft. My last narc...he was definitely using witchcraft. And I wasn't the only one who saw weird stuff, weird visual distortions, different colored eyes, different heights, etc. It was so bizarre, and I wasn't the only one who saw it. It all makes sense now. He was definitely using witchcraft and has demonic entities attached to him.
In my case, God did show me the signs that I am a narcissist. It took me a while to understand but eventually I understood the signs. Initially it was painful. I couldn't believe that I am a narcissist. But somehow I accepted it. Now I am trying to change myself. It's not easy. It's hard. But I am not going to give up. I am really sorry for all the sins that I did to all those people. I hope God does forgive me.
All narcissists are made (from abuse) not born (genetic). Derek Prince has videos about healing. We need to first acknowledge out shortcomings, repent, forgive others, ask for forgiveness, then welcome healing. It helps to forgive others when we remember that they too became narcissists through abuse that they didn’t ask for. Even if they’re too far gone to reconcile, we can still forgive them from a distance.
I am on the journey also, I was a childhood victim of abuse and passed that on to my own children. It is a horrible thing to observe what sits inside of me, but at least I can see it now and realise that I am the cause of pain to the ones I 'love' most. I wish you well on this journey ❤
The fact that you can recognize there is a problem and you are learning to be more self aware means you aren’t too far gone. It’s your personal demon . It will take a lot of work for a long time but is well worth it! Turn to Christ and accept that He died for your sins. Declare Him as your Lord and Savior. Talk to Him, start a relationship with Him and He will give you discernment and self awareness. God bless you ❤
From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA Thanks you for saying it is not a disorder, and that it is a style for the narcissist. God bless you for speaking truth. Please keep acknowledging the things you do because this is truth. We certainly do. Love you here.
Well said. True to the core. All true. 🤔🤔Makes me even to wonder… though I do not consider myself to be a narcissist. Your message shows the importance of being true to: God; & even oneself, to look into oneself to see if there is a possibility that we may have traits of narcism & to deal with it head on with God’s help. The Good Book says, “Let Everyman examine himself… test himself… to see IF Christ Jesus lives inside of us or not.” Thanks… your post was truly helpful.
Probably your best message ecording\video (for me) really well and simpley explained,very very good Danish,you have no idea how many people you are helping...
Those who can't be their true selves hurt those who are, until the victims either go silent, die, break, or hide under masks themselves. It's like a virus.
Your comment is very true * the ( victim ) go silent _ die or break or hide behind a mask as a way of survival * true indeed is a mad cycle virus _ is like there's no escape 😢
Wow, this is very deep. The first one made me wonder 💭, but requiring someone to be honest with me and tell the truth is not asking for too much. I’m good. I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS. After being married to a narcissist for 34 years and meeting new ppl like gets kind of scary, so I stay on guard. But your videos are VERY HELPFUL!
@@ka_zul it's very interesting 🤔, am I a narcissist or a victim. I study Sam Vagnin on TH-cam the father of Narcissistic diagnosis. I realised some of my acting was copied from my narcissistic abuser, but basically I am a bipolar person, PTSD and BPD etc.. according to Sam Vagnin, my mental state is a direct consequence of my upbringing by a narcissistic parent. I managed to cure myself through study on TH-cam, I'm really another person now, I forgave myself for all wrongful happenings against me in my life, cause no one is guilty being a victim of mental torture. However my own mistakes against others is the most painful, I can understand why I made mistakes being "crazy" in my young days. my mistakes were not evil. Now I try to help others when possible and mind my own life when I can. Studying myself is the best I have ever done; you cannot know others if you don't know yourself !
@@techjunkie68smusicandtech56 you are so right, I study myself seriously for 2-3 years, now I not a victim anymore, I am now responsible for myself and my actions, thanks for commenting
@@ka_zul prof. Sam Vagnin says; just that you can question yourself if you are a narcissist 🤔 indicating that you are not a narcissist 😊. Studying myself has helped me mentally, learn to think differently better, it's never too late, I'm 60 now.
We all have narcissistic tendencies. It’s our ego, and part of being human. It’s a matter of catching ourselves, reflecting, taking responsibility and learning from it. Trauma can cause us to act out hurting ourselves and others. We just have to learn through these experiences.
Perfect !Now you spoke to the narcissist and not about him/her. The Lord is able to redeem them with His Love and understanding . Narcissist in the world : Give your unhealthy and sick life back your Savior and He will and is able to heal you .Only if you like it to be healed . Then you are happy and able to real love !!!!!
This is an excellent coverage of the characteristics and dynamics of Narcissism. Placing this hellish disorder in a divine context is long overdue. Many thanks!
A sign “If you want what we have” Just my own experience of the 12-step program. That was the first time in my life I was not shamed, and from that time forward I have never allowed it. Spiritual transformation started with those 6 words.
That’s exactly how I connected the dots with my best friend of 50 years. She stared projecting on me, saying about me , you think you can behave and act anyway you want because of your childhood. She was a very good actress and then the mask fell and boy was it ugly. Not my friend anymore, no contact.
Oh wow I have this darkness consuming me after 11 years of narc abuse even though I’ve been out of that relationship for 10 years but still get extreme anxiety every time I get a message from him re our kids to the point that my current husband now reads all the messages first. I’ve asked myself if I’m the problem many times I’m still so confused though.
thank God that you are talking about God (as he seems to be forgotten in this atheist society) Amazing insights man, from a different angle, thanks The more I listen to this the more profound it becomes.
I was unsure if I’m a narcissist or not. I dealt with narcissistic abuse from an ex boyfriend. He does the hoovering and showing off his new supply, but I can’t help thinking even if he is a narc…am I one too? But with me, I don’t seem to have a need for any supply or validation…still unsure if I’m a narc or not. But after dealing with one…I don’t want to be one of these monsters! Or make anyone suffer from being one.
This was one of your best videos I've seen...u explained it all in a way that made it all so clear to understand....u are one of the best I've ever listened to ....God bless u Danish
Hi Danish! Can you do a video on malignant narcissism since you have experience with one? My ex was a covert self righteous narcissist. He had to have total control over everything including me. Everything was engineered in his environment. During the end of the relationship he isolated me in mountains on 8 acres of land. I didn't have a car so I was trapped there with what I thought was my Siberian cat. It got really dark and abusive. He controlled what I ate and when I ate. When I go to bed and when I workout. Even my whole workout plan was designed by him and he had to coach me when I worked out, but I could never be as strong as him. Anyways, it was humiliating and dark and scary. He some how got me to get a cat because he wanted a cat. I was deathly allergic and he didn't really care. He programmed me every day after work to love cats. He called me a cheetah. It got to my brain. I started only buying cat stuff. I dressed like a cat everyday and started acting like one too. I cried every single day and was diagnosed with major depressive disorder but still he wired my brain to workout. It's healthy and everything and I love but I'm just demonstrating how controlling he is. I had executive dysfunction and he had to make food for me. He planned to get cat without even telling me years before. He convinced me since I had a traumatic childhood that I was broken and everything that I did was wrong. He would constantly tell me how horrible my friends and family were until all I had was him. I would never warm up or talk to his family because they all had anger problems. His grandma warned me in the beginning of the love bombing phase that he and his dad are extremely passive aggressive. He wouldn't even keep the cat out of the bedroom so I could sleep. He didn't care. I couldn't sleep. I remember one night I got fed up and started spraying anti allergen on the bed and some of it got on him and he snatched the bottle of spray out of my hands and sprayed in my face smirking at the same time. Then he dragged me outside the door of the house while I was butt naked and locked the door and was laughing at me from the kitchen window while I was freezing cold and crying. There were other times he physically attracted me, but the mental abuse was painful. I suffered big time. I thought my body would fail me. My brain was dead. I couldn't even draw anymore. I couldn't read and remember what I read. He had to constantly repeat himself because I couldn't remember anything. He would rage at me as if I murdered a child when I would constantly pull my eyelashes. He would do suddenly and furiously that I would start crying and he laughed and didn't care. Anyways, I caught him in a cheating situation he did darvo on me. It's a long story but my dad helped me escape. I had a chaotic crazy childhood with extreme neglect so he seduced me by always being on time and taking care of financial needs and very orderly and consistent. but no love and if you break a rule, he would covertly punish me by withholding love to the point where I stopped initiating physical affection and he got angry about that too. He ignored me for a year right after my mom died when I called him out for trying to control my money. He was a professional gas lighter. Because he would always pick me up on time, and always saw him with me and he would go to my doctor's appointment, people thought he would never cheat and that I had it good, but couldn't be further from the truth. The discard phase, he just suddenly treated me like I didn't exist. Isolated me at his sister's place during the holidays and threatened me if I left to be with my family. I was all alone with panic attacks I felt from my chest down to my toes. I also had separation anxiety from leaving home because during covid I stayed home everyday and started going crazy. I was mentally ill and had fatigue that not even Adderall could help concentrate and get out of bed. I had cptsd so bad I started hearing sounds in my head that weren't there. During the discard phase when he became the full monster, I had to hospitalize myself for suicidal attempt. I was really going to take all my Xanax at once and drown myself to death because I felt like I was drowning in the relationship. I still stayed in shape even though I constantly felt sick. He sure of that. Constant pains through my body. Heavy periods, brain fog, couldn't do shit but workout. He would always say my body belongs to him and captured a princess and put her in a castle. Those were subtle signs. So many things that went on in this relationship. I'm healing because bits and pieces are coming back before I could not speak or say a word to know one for months after I got back home with my dad. My doctor wanted me to go to intensive care for people with mental illness. He wanted me to kill myself that's why I didn't do it.
Your story is crazy and I believe all what you felt and went trough . I m married a covert malignant narcissist full blown . 10 years of my life I experienced pain what I can’t write here or explain . He too try to control my every accept of life and try to isolate me from my family and friends . But I was too strong and I finally made to brake free forever from him. I made it to brake free since I started to get to know and love my almighty god jahwe or Jehovah and going trough my healing . Of course and the great videos from great people who teaches us survivors what these heartless cruel creatures are we sadly fell for . Thank you for these videos 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽. You two will brake free and start healing .
Yes, they want you to commit suicide!!! It's the ultimate power thrill. I got upset with my nex, for good reason, and went home. He was in such a good mood and truly hoping I was suicidal. No, I was just disgusted with him and left. He was so happy and kept saying "promise me you won't do anything to hurt yourself". We'd not dated that long, I wasn't attached to him, and getting increasingly turned off by him. Of course I wouldn't commit suicide. He lives in fantasy land. It was his fantasy that he could get a woman to commit suicide over him. And he's gay, he's definitely gay, but wants girlfriends to exploit. And wants to think he's a lady killer, and was HOPING I was suicidal over him. That's sick, sick, sick.
Its sad that Ive been through the theraputic process and it was hell for 3 years trying to heal and after all that I still want to believe there is a good person in there. I know that is part of this. When I see them sad I then think there is a broken child in there. I believed I could love them uncond and found myself back then praying and trying to battle for their soul from these demons. It broke me. I feel alot stronger now yet those old feels creep back up making me feel sorry for them. I think this is how it goes and the cycle repeats with the same feelings. I am learning to still love from a distance. I just cant repeat the cycle I dont want to die. The holidays are really tough. On the other side I have a great family that helped me and I love them dearly. I think I am addicted to him. It is so hard during the holidays to remind myself of the devistation that happened when I felt like my life and dreams were destroyed it was something out of a movie. I wish things were different the reality is they are not. I am surrounded by loving people. I do not wish this on anyone. I was in love with him at first site 34 years ago. I always felt this adrenan rush. I can't do it to myself anymore. All the people that he probably slept with since the break up scares the shit out of me. I have not been with anyone. This really drives me insane.
begin with knowing you deserve to be respected, valued, loved, cared for, wanted, and to have what you want and need. this is what I affirm everyday, it starts with us. quit wishing and start doing. you are addicted in a way, it is called, "habitual conditioning" it is familiar and most likely traceable back to how you were treated as a kid......either way, you are a child of God and not at the mercy of a narc unless you keep allowing it. Danish is trying to help us to become aware of the signs. look, there are only 2 sides in life, choose one and choose the best. good or evil. there is no in-between. it's their choice to be the way they are, it is NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY and your "wanting to be good" (i.e., "save him from himself") will only serve to entrap you. what I found was that when I focused on the other person and was so unhappy doing it was because I was avoiding giving to myself - ALL WE CAN DO IS CHANGE OURSELVES. NOT OTHERS. God gave everyone free will - use it to become happy. if he wants to change - he will, if he doesn't - he will count on you feeling sorry for him again and you will fall for the trap. Learn to focus on your Self and what it is you need and what it is you want. Narcs are energy vampires. evil doers. why fall prey to that? wakey, wakey. break the bad habit.
No love can or should be unconditional, except the love of a parent for his or her children. We need to recognize how pernicious the ideal and myth of unconditional love actually is and we need to consciously reject it if we're to be both honest and sane. Btw, what you're describing is a form of trauma bond. And it really does feel like an addiction -- neurologically, it may well be one. A good therapist could help you through this difficult time and through the process of letting go of your fantasy of a love for and with someone who's hurt you, badly, over and over again. I see that several psychologists and doctors on TH-cam recommend a company called Better Health, who offer online psychological counselling at affordable rates.
no doubt, sorry to add this but there isn't anything so far that I have found that I would put past them, they are not trustworthy and would sell their own mother for money, so sleep around? yes, I agree if they can find someone gullible enough.....my experience. wakey, wakey.@@WayneZalinksy
A blessing is praying that tge narcassist meets affliction, devastation and suffering, purposed to ead them to calling out for God, acknowledging something greater than themselves.
I'm so glad I watched this. I do have patterns through my life that are still unhealthy. I disconnected from my family now. I hope I'll still have a way to see my grandkids if Good wants that he'll make a way for it. I'm finally in his will and feel his peace and warmth daily even though I'm exhausted. He's been teaching me to rest in him like a piece of broken clay and we go through the pain together and I finally know the pain isn't going to kill me. I'm happy.
He hurt me so much that I feel I have zero value and I latterly beat myself up physically to the point of my ears ringing and headaches from hitting myself. A friend of mine keeps invalidating my feelings about what the narc did to me - she keeps telling me I have victim mentality. I actually don't feel like expressing my feelings to my friend anymore
You do not need your friend to validate your feelings your experience with this person that has from your own words has disrupted your spirit, your friend is not in the relationship with this person you are !! Your emotions are yours not your friends! So there is no feasible way she can tell you how you feel , she can be a place of empathy and compassion a place for you to unload your burdens and vent about them in a safe space a listening ear , if she chooses to be , to me the only person more as divine heavenly being that can provide such a Glorious space is Jehovah God!! So with that being said the only person that can tell you what is real or not ultimately is yourself !! You may want to ask yourself this one question first does love between two people lift each other and brings about a sense of joy to each other's life , world ? Enhance one another as individuals? Or does it bring about destruction and pain and chaos ? . I pray you will find healing thru our lord and Savior Jesus Christ ❤️ rise and shine
If a person has Borderline personality disorder, they can heal. So I would suggest that that person see a Therapist ( or Google about it online ) and ask for the written test that you can take for personality disorders and start working on it via therapy or books, self help. Borderlines attract narcissists/psychopaths. They see your sensitive behavior and it’s like the scent of blood to a shark. Then they want to feed. Bullies like bully supply. That’s what they’re up to when they mess with you. It’s fun for them. They hide that they are doing it. It’s part of the con game.
That is not a Friend. You need immediate help due to hitting yourself. Full stop. You know this is true. Start there. Tell that 'friend' " Thank you, I'm going to get help I need." And, start your Wonderful Journey. Today! 👋🦋
I have become rather opposed to the entire "don't be a victim!" way of thinking. I am not certain, but I have come to believe that that entire 'movement' is a Wolf-In-Sheep's-Clothing movement for abusers. The way I think of it is this: what do most people mean when they say they are a victim? Usually, "victim" is a shorthand for "something wrong was done to me and I did not bring it upon myself". Now, in my experience, the top two things an abuser never wants to hear and will do just about anything to not hear, are these: 1. That what they did was wrong 2. That the one/s they are abusing did not invite the abuse upon themselves in any way In my experience, abusers love to deny that what they did was wrong, and to blame their victim for the fact that they were abused; the classic "they were asking for it" defense. And saying you are a victim is a refusal of blame, a total refusal of the abuser's two main gaslights, which are that what they did wasn't wrong and also that you did something to invite the behavior and are therefore just as culpable as they are, if not more so. This, I believe, is the core motivation of the "don't be a victim" argument: an abused person saying they are a victim is a cry for help, and a cry of warning as to the abuser's ways: their cruelty, their anger, their untrustworthiness. Saying "don't be a victim" is clapping a hand over the abused person's mouth so they cannot get help and cannot sound the alarm. And if the abuser can convince outsiders to tell their abuse victim "don't be a victim", then the abuser does not even have to go to the trouble of clapping the metaphorical hand over their victim's metaphorical mouth themselves: it is all done for them. The ultimate in Flying Monkeys. The ultimate thing the abuser wants: to abuse to their heart's content, to have their victim silent, to have everyone around them condone their abuse. The Abuser's Dream.
Yes! Narcissists need to own their shit! I remember having an identity crisis when I left home. I was at college and I wondered "who am I? Am I just a cookie-cutter of my parents? I knew the answer was "no." I knew some aspects of myself that were deeply felt, but what else defined the real "me?" I realized at that moment that I would find the answers about the real "me" over time as I lived my life in connection with other humans and with nature. I would observe my own behavior and take note of the real "me." I learned a lot over the years. I liked a lot about who I am and I faced those aspects of myself that are weak spots. I accept that I am not perfect. I am ok with who I am - and sometimes I'm even proud of myself.
This is an extremely difficult video to watch as a survivor. With every word of yours comes flashbacks and painful memories. I'm sorry I cant watch this video till the end. I tried. ❤
You discussed everything so deeply that I feel, I am also a narcissist who abused others by cutting ties acknowledging them as narcissists. Confused now! Am I?
Do you lack empathy? Can you put yourself in other people’s shoes and think to yourself, I didn’t like it when this bad thing happened to me, therefore I refuse to do it to this person? Look up the definition of evil. Then look up all of the additional words that also stands for evil. Do you do these evil things to people? If somebody puts up a boundary to keep your evilness away from them, do you ignore it and push your way into their life anyways to try and get what you want out of them? Narcissist/psychopaths look at people as if they are card board cut-outs, not real humans with real feelings and emotions who can be hurt; they don’t care. They look at humans as objects or tools to be used at their dispense and convenience. Do you get angry at somebody and want to hit them but you know that you can’t because it’s against the law so you mentally abuse them instead to get even? That’s childish and passive aggressive. Instead, what a normal person does is leave and cut their loses, meaning, they allow themselves to lose and pay the cost but they know not to fight back because it will turn into a petty back-and-forth, never ending passive-aggressive war. That behavior is immature and beneath them so they leave.
The fact that you're seeking self awareness by even asking that question suggests that you are not a narcissist. 👍 Keep looking within yourself. Peace and blessings 🙏
🙌🙏🤓❤️ If only a narcissistic personality type would listen to this. 🤷♀️ 🥸 Narcissistic never let anyone speak long enough to make their point. 😂 I have to say, I personally enjoyed every minute. It was cathartic to listen to. Thank you ! 🙏
I don't care what kind of car you drive or what kind of house you live in or how much money you have .The greatest gift is Love❤ And there is only 1 that has the last say so and believe you me He doesn't care who you are ❤
I do admit i have been narcissistic in my life and i have carelessly thrown out people in my life and devalued other people in my life as well just because i hated myself. If only i loved myself a lot more maybe i wouldnt have been that way but i was and i feel ashamed. I feel so ashamed i dont really know how to change.
I found great healing and a total psychological death/rebirth through a plant medicine called Ayahuasca-which was administered by indigenous healers in Brazil. Perhaps you could look into this, I would never recommend taking it without proper supervision as the spiritual work that you may need to face can be overwhelming. It IS a way mother earth provides us healing. It also opened my heart to God through Jesus, who I was interested in before but began actually following only after my Ayahuasca experience. God is the ultimate healer, and like a loving father if you sincerely ask he will always answer when you're ready (which is always the present moment you find yourself in) ❤ best of luck and remember God is love
Thank you for this vid, you give a good understanding about a narcist, I can agree with where you speak that God universe gives signs or somehow let you know that in my case I know that I was shown or guided to find out about narcist or narcistic abuse, I would say or think the aspects you have here on your video, 1 the inability to feel something for someone else, this is one aspect I had seen my narc lacks,like recently a neighbor that lives up the road had taken his life, I felt very sad, and felt very sorry for the family, even though he was just someone that would greet and have a small chat, he was not a very good person though he had some bad in him, but I still felt sad and bad for him and his family, whereas my narc had a smirk when the girlfriend came to tell us he had passed on, and was like smiling I saw it she didnt as he had his back towards her standing slightly between her and me, another aspect 2 is mine blames everyone and any thing other than himself,and if I can point it that another aspect is if someone else is doing better ect than him he always says something negative about such person and gossiping about such person to others with negative things to say about such persons, what you speak of gave me insight of what he most likely is like within himself, because he is cold most times and only slightly warm when around others or if he needs something from me or from others, thank you very insightful and educational, and helps me understand more about narcist and what they are🙏🙏
I feel like only meditation can change a narcissist. Because even a narcissist has a soul inside them. And any soul can benefit for meditation. Narcissists have their heart chakra almost completely blocked and also their root chakra is blocked by a lot of trauma and insecurity, which is why they are like what they are. Meditation helps with unblocking the chakras one by one. And of course, it would be impossible to make a narcissist sit and meditate as they won't do anything as per other's wish. But, if they do in the rarest of cases, it can change them.
I have cptsp, after 30 years in a terrible narc family via marriage. They are so inholy. They ruined lots of things, every holiday, birthdays anything they could. I suspected the whole time God was urging me to leave. So now, my kids are not that close to me and feel some allegiance to the extended family that abused me and them, they just dont recognize it as abuse. So I do just want someone to acknowlege how bad it actually was but i will probably never get that. Sometimes i do have narc traits now and sometimes i do actually put them to use against the dirtbags. Its survival.
Spot on. Even though it's over between my ex narc and me, I still wish that they would pause their inner and outer destruction in order to take a look into themselves and heal. Our kids are involved and will be directly affected by them NOT doing the work. My mistake is that I thought that I could make a difference in their life. I wanted to help them and instead of saving myself, I just disregarded all of the red flags and literal nightmares that I had that specifically told me what our relationship would end up becoming. It was like my subconscious knew what was going on, but I didn't listen. Now, I know that it wasn't love. It was heavy manipulation. I didn't fully get it then, although something in the core of me must have known better, I mistakenly just catered to their wants and needs above all others. Now, I'm working on learning how to listen to my head as well as my heart. To recognize when something isn't good for me, that it's okay for me not to accept mere scraps and give someone else more than I offer to myself. Being alone and dealing with the discard and subsequent divorce has been brutal to say the least, but I can honestly say that it's been for the better. We all need that time to heal over. Hopefully, if there ever is a next time around for me for love, I'll know what REAL love is and not get fooled by someone who doesn't actually have it to offer. If there isn't a "next time" for me, at the most, I'll have learned that I'm worthy of being loved. Prayers and best wishes to everyone out there struggling to make it through in these situations. Praying for the narcs too cuz The Almighty is the only one who is gonna bring them out of their darkness.
@@Hope4BettaDayzIt's not just this video. I've read widely on narcissism and it's universally acknowledged by psychologists and psychiatrists that narcissists rarely if ever change for the better, that they ever mature.
@@vaska1999 Oh, 100 % in agreement. I was just saying that I wish that they would change, although I know that It's more than likely never going to happen.
I thought am a narcissist but after seeing this video i realise am not .thank you danish sir . I still feel and always pray for others peaceful and happiness , felt bad if i hear about bad incidents , never try to control anyone and if i found out someone whom am thought is a good person but in real they are not i pray for them to change .i can sleep peacefully finally knowing am not a narcissist
I wish my H would listen to you and mend his ways of learning to love and care for the most beautiful things and persons .................in his life. Shukriya Dear Danish 🌹🌹🙏 Stay blessed always
Also narcissists never heal... they remain the same... we who chose to heal were on the path of narcissism, but we stepped away as soon as we realised, that we could be that maniac that we have been avoiding... i can proudly say, that I'm not a narcissist.
my narcissist ex husband wouldn't allow me talk to my parents siblings and to go to temple atleast. if i go to temple he used to ask what habit is this? i was shocked. came out when 5months pregnant. and now with 9 months baby... he didn't even spent paise for my baby.
That is a given. Your (our) liberation comes when they are no longer a part of your (our) thoughts and existence. They hate the light of truth and humanity
@DanishBashir you are so smart and wise Thank you for explaining so well, also thank you for sharing your narcissistic abuse from your parents and grandfather. I was wondering if your grandmother ever tried to intervene and protect you from your grandfather and both your parents? You have beautiful hair, thank you again 🙏
That you're even questioning it is proof that you aren't a narc. It's CPTSD from the internal abuse inflicted on you. It will take time & effort. Know that you are not alone in the struggle. Research CPTSD, seek help from a professional who specializes in narc abuse & continue watching videos such as this. I've made a playlist of narc abuse videos that I listen to every day to help "deprogram" the toxic thoughts that were insidiously implanted in my brain. You will heal with time & be better & stronger for it 😊👍
Made me feel the same way because I had been accused of some of these things even believed if for a while and isolated myself for years in fear I was hurting people until I started reading what a narcissist actually is.
I knew all of this whenever I had a depressive episode but I always thought it was just me being melodramatic For it to be described word for word by someone else means it wasn't all in my head The problem really is me So this is why I escape I do feel emotions though, I just amplify my reactions to them because I want attention I do constantly chase things but they are not material, they are emotional entertainment media that make me feel anything that I cannot personally feel in my life because I isolated myself from having any intimate friendships with anybody the moment I realized something was wrong with me I've been keeping my friendships jovial but not emotional, none of the people I know in real life know anything about my past or why I feel the way I feel on the day to day And I know it's better that way, I'm a time waster I don't respect people's time When someone likes me a part of me subconsciously starts looking for ways that they're inferior to me, that they're dumb, naive, or incompetent I can spot that feeling of disdain behind the scenes painting them in that light even though I have no control over it, I'm actually serious when I say that I have no control over it It's not a conscious thought, but maybe it was when I was a child and it became so habitual that I don't even notice it anymore After all, from 8-11 years old I was such an obnoxiously arrogant little brat Taking all of my flaws into consideration, I want to fail at life, genuinely I have fantasies of myself getting harmed and mutilated in the most gruesome way I can imagine, because I can't actually exact satisfying punishment on myself in real life This is the only way I can think of dealing with myself, but it still is entirely without regard to anyone around me Because my parents rely on me, I must one day make a living to take care of them but I just want to fail and be the piece of worthless shit that I deserve to be known for And because all that thinking is only going to lead to nastier and nastier behaviors towards others that will probably disturb them to whatever capacity I recognize all of that sir All of that But the more I think and realize all of these things the more powerless I feel and the more I just want to not care I really would be lying if I said I didn't care about others, at least at a certain point in my life Since I went to live with my dad last year after several years of no contact, something in me broke I feel like after all the traumatizing fights we've had I've completely closed myself off of ever wanting or hoping to be a better person, for fear that he might shatter that too I can't handle watching my efforts shatter another time I just can't I can't bear it I'm crying while I'm typing this sir I feel hopeless I am filled with horror
A narcissist would watch this video to become a better more sophisticated narcissist... they're very aware that people are catching on to them and their methods...its like sending acriminal to prison.. .he learns how to be getter at his craft while there
How I wish my ex would be forced to listen to this, over and over again, until he's listened fully and let this sink in! On a more sadistic note, I hope whenever he finally passes that the last thoughts in his selfish head are thoughts of how terrible he has been to literally every person he's had any kind of a relationship with. Maybe when his brain starts to go in those final moments, he will finally see what a horrible person he is and go out of this world with the terrible truth he can't face. I'll never know, but I can hope. As for the question at the end about which one would be the most powerful in making a narcissist realize they have a problem, I say none! They were all completely spot on, but these monsters will never, ever admit they are the problem. If there were some type of brain scan to spot them, they would claim the scan was faulty, no matter how accurate it was deemed to be. If a therapist told them they have this, they would call the therapist "crazy" to other people and NEVER go back! I think they know they have a problem, though. They see others' genuine happiness and try to suck it out of them, out of jealousy. They see others who love and who genuinely care, so they try to destroy those people rather than working on positive steps to make their own life better! They hate the world for their shortcomings, so they try to destroy whatever they can! The last thing 99.999999% of narcissists would do is admit they have a problem.
I experience the first two- however I am the exact opposite.i am completely outnumbered and surrounded by narcissists. I AM constantly fight off and fending off toxic people. Anywhere I can meet normal people?
Yes..the X-Narcissist in my life..tried to get me to feel sorry for him.."I'm mentally ill".. my response was yeah..right!! I agree with your description..A-hole!! Yess..it's a life style..they know exactly what they're doing!! Only person he doesn't abuse is his mom..she's 80+ years old..too old to be babysitting when he gets himself in trouble..again!!
My Husband of 24 years tells me i need professional help,but this is'nt why.I think of my life.I have been physically abused, mentally abuse.And touched when i was 5.By some people ,and someone called me liar.I' m 47 now,and it pounders at me that my Daddy hung himself and did' nt stay to protect me.And the more i listen to you on this subject.I' ve been around Nassissist all my life.I have abused my self .I admit this.But i have never abusef nobody,cause i know how it feels.I wanna be friends woth evetybody.But not everybody ferls the same and thats ok.My Husband tells me to move on forget about.And he's right.But it gets to me.And I know jesus can help.And this dang addiction with cigarettes and delta 9 .Im medicating myself to help me forget.i have know idea what im doing
Many religious traditions: Teach that every individual has a soul, which is often considered the eternal, spiritual essence of a person. This perspective suggests that individuals, including those with narcissistic traits, possess a soul that is separate from their psychological characteristics. Karmic or reincarnation beliefs: In some Eastern philosophies, the soul is believed to undergo a process of growth and purification over multiple lifetimes. From this perspective, individuals, including those exhibiting narcissistic traits, may be on a particular point in their spiritual journey, working through challenges and lessons. Human imperfection: Some religious teachings acknowledge the inherent imperfection of human beings and emphasize the potential for growth and redemption. Individuals with narcissistic traits might be seen as facing particular challenges on their spiritual path.
Matthew 10:34-39 NKJV Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
It was hard to watch this video but by the end i was relieved that somewhere, I don't have many of these... yes, few of the things, i have realised about myself, and i am being careful, as i have had ignorant parents who were also separated, a sister who is schizophrenic, me, left alone, but these should not be the reasons for malfunctioning... i am becoming better than this... P.s.- i don't post much on social media. -Also, I do believe that not everyone will love me, but the ones who will do, I'll give back to them... also its hard to believe when your own family doesn't love you.
If you notice this about the narcissistic person and try to tell these things to them, they will see it as an attack won't they? How can you point out all the people they have alienated without it coming off like a put down? even if you are concerned and want them to have more friends, it still comes off that way. I have noticed that I sometimes fake emotions because I am upset and do not want to upset others by showing it/have to keep focused on work. I have also caught myself not noticing all the things I have to be grateful for, I believe because narcissitic people have taken those things for granted for so long. When I am alone I start to feel grateful again. Is this the same as what you are talking about or me being overly self-judgemental?
i think i was very close to turn into a narcissist, but then i had a very bad series anxiety attack, and i started to change. i wasn't hurting anyone yet luckily, and i didn't had lost my empathy, wich was very strong as a kid, but faded slowly or anyway gor repressed because of abuse from people i'd helped and did repay my help with stabbing me in the back, i was also bullied and socially excluded as a kid, then i started become worse, not hurting anyone more or less, but i was unable to feel like before, i was likely fading slowly, and i could kind of feel it, but i was cofused and unable to understand fully, i started to get the doubt of myself being innately wrong, something that shouldn't even been there, and only a source of problem for others, then i started to become focused on my self improvment, initially it was probably a good thing, but slowly that was getting more and more self focused on improving, rather than feel better and someway have a real improvement, is hard to explain, but it was like having entered a loop, an obsessive loop that repete itself and grow bigger each time, like if you become greedy of so much perfectionism, to someway aim to become god. i am sure 100% that the narcisist entere in this loop, and unless he can someway break it, he fall into the darkness and can't get out.
Perhaps personalities naturally exist on a spectrum between two poles, narcissist and empath. Some may have a strong genetic predisposition towards narcissism, others may become narcissistic because they suffer childhood abuse or neglect. Of course, a spiritual element may factor in as well.
I was a bit worried watching this, but I figure 'a good theory can handle to be tested/questioned'. As someone who have been on the receiving end of gaslighting/mental abuse/what is at least all the signs of covert narcissism (diagnosis or not), it is *very* damaging. I find myself with a lot of anger, a lot of hate. I promised I would forgive him (not because he deserves it, but in exchange for helping someone else), and it is one of the hardest things I am trying to do in my life. But the difference is, I choose to gray rock, and limit contact. He seeks to isolate me, put me down, and literally step on me. He use his rage to attack; I keep my rage inside my head, and choose not to stoop to his level. Not that I am not tempted, I will admit. The hardest thing is, he will never apologise or acknowledge what he is doing. He is going to keep insisting he is 'just being friendly' or 'just trying to help', and he will go on and on about how 'highly empathetic' he is, while stabbing me over and over again. My physical body was screaming at me to run the second I met him, and every second we were in the same building. I literally act like a dog that have been abused; I hide in the furthest corner of the room, and don't really interact with anyone. I don't have that feeling around other people. If there was one person I could un-meet in my life, it is him. Would have saved me so much pain. I have frequently questioned my perception of him; the situations have been analysed from every angle a billion times. If I could have somehow misunderstood. But looking objectively at it, I was not wrong. I chose not to harm him back, even though he was worse and worse every time I saw him.
The narc I was with was watching the movie ‘Vanilla Sky’ and during the misery of Tom Cruise in that movie, he asked me, do you think I am a narcissist? I think sth resonated in him… the turmoil, misery, ugliness & rottenness inside him. Only Allah can save these people but only if they pursue Him & His help…
I was texting with a person since 2017 and I showed kindness and love to that person I am not a narcissist ... I am a good person living with a head fracture/brain damage after my x partner who was a alcoholic banged my head towards a wall several times and tried to choke me to death
Danish, awesome video! I just don’t think narcissists, are going to relate their behaviour to that of being the ‘arsehole that they are’ or evil. People are only going to recognise and take in emotional information from the awareness that they are at. Remember, they’re broken, delicate, children in adult bodies. Approaching it from a more relatable angle that opens the door slowly and safely. Such as, do you find that you automatically step into the leadership role and know your way is the only way that works, so others feelings are not a concern. These are not conscious thoughts to a narcissist. Making it appealing or intriguing to them will help, if they’re going let their feelings become preconscious. Understandably, your viewing narcissists through hurt, because of your dad.
Link to my best resources for healing:
linktr.ee/narcabusecoach
True my ex narc keep popping up on face book with a whole lot of money laying on the bed stack of 100.00 dollar bills and some, what is that suppose to mean to me?
Thanks 🙏.
Mine is a country singer tons of money yet he would ask me for things. Now I'm getting request from a bunch of whores imagine that.
I have him blocked on everything
@@Liane-qs6ml Thanks 🙏
The part about narcissists being eternally dissatisfied. Never happy. And the part about them not FEELING anything. No emotion but dark emotions like anger, jealousy, anxiety.
Anger and hate not same. Anger is both good or bad. Hateful anger bad. Righteous anger good.
True
One of the reasons I appreciate your teaching Danish Bashir. You understand the spiritual element in this abuse. 🕯️✨
Exactly. The problem is more than a lot of bad behaviours. The spiritual isn’t talked about directly. I think making it a “science” avoids the spiritual component.
Isn’t that the truth? Many people don’t realize how the narcissistic spirit is nothing more than a demonic spirit. 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Really good point
Not many talk about this element of it.
I have experienced the narcissist that is unable to accept that they have hurt someone or made mistakes . I view mistakes as an opportunity to learn . A "mistake " repeated is a choice .
People with CPTSD also idolize a love interest. We experience limerance, constantly thinking about the person and only see them with rose colored glasses. We see red flags and yet we rationalize, excuse and ignore them. Then we get our hearts broken and we no longer idolize them. We see the monster and start to become bitter, rezentful and sometimes we even seek vengeance. It's similar to narcissistic idolizing, except we're not monster's. We wish to see the monster be exposed
Yeah I feel that.
Yeah, a lot of this overlaps with CPTSD.
If you're inflicted with CPTSD, can you become narcissistic? Also, a disabled militsry veteran. His mindset becomes disconnected at times with his demanding FOO. There are bouts of rage with me as spouse after doing exhausting work for entitled extended family.
@@ActiveSneakers I think it´s possible but not really the case for most. I have C-ptsd and I´m more a Introverted kinda Misantrophic person. I just distrust most humans beings after a lot of Betrayal and Abuse. Wich doesen´t mean I want to harm them. Just want to be left alone by most. But if I start to love someone tho, i do very deeply. No matter if it´s friends or partner. And I´m always there, if they ever need me.
It's a form of protection from the situation. You inner warrior/protective narcissist ,roars out,to shield your heart,when you get attacked. It goes back to sleep, when the parties over.
I'm a narcissist and my marriage is failing because of my attitude and what I've done. But I'm sitting here watching this video and a lot of the others on this channel in an attempt to change. I believe God can change me and my heart and redeem my marriage
Were you abused or neglected as I child? Or was it something else that caused your narcissism?
@@tracydolezal5120 from what I've watched, my mom is a life long, extreme narcissist and she spoiled me rotten till I was 26 years old
I pray and command that the spirit of narcissism in you is broken! Be well 🙏🏼
He can change you. Don’t get discouraged and don’t give up overcoming. It might take longer than you expect but as long as you don’t give up you will overcome this.
@@Badfilms-u6j I've gone to therapy a few times and I'm in two other groups for recovery and even though it's been up and down in my marriage I feel like things have turned around for the better
A narcissist would never watch this video though 😏
But the abused are VERY interested...and watching ...closely
I came here just to say that 🫂 😊..my mother hated that I had the book Toxic Parents on my shelf as a 19 year old..but NEVER considered reading it! 📚 😅 💡
Yes they would. There are some that are striving to get better/smarter in their ego and presentation style.
Edit: never say never, especially with a narc. Don’t underestimate their attempts to get better at abusing.
took the words right outta my mouth! Narcs dont want to learn anything they refuse any help because they think they perfect the healiest human being on the planet theres absolute nothing wrong they cant make mistakes in their minds.
Ok....fortunately i do not resonate with any of them!❤😅😅😅
Thank you for a brilliant video Danish. Only God can help a narcissist. Only God can replace their heart of stone with a loving heart of flesh ❤ we must leave the narcissists alone. We can not help them. If we keep playing their games, we are enabling evil to spread and we must not let that happen. God bless you❤
The most accurate, honest, and insightful description of this personality style I have ever heard. It has given me the strength to continue to go no contact with my current (and final) narcissistic parasite. She will get no blood from me, and whether she eventually goes away for good or not, she will never again shit on my humanity. Perfect timing for me. Thank you and God bless you
John, if you don't mind my 2 cents here, I was raised by a psycho narc and so was conditioned (most of us began this way) and so it took me personally years to wake up, I just thought it was "me" and that I must be a loser or cursed, I really did. #1 thing, have a spiritual life that works for you (I meditate on God daily), you can't make it thru life without God's help and we aren't meant to do this alone. thank God! anyway, I frequently watch these videos (esp. Danish because for me he has it down to details but there are many on YT who have a lot to offer), anyway, I watch the vids almost daily (at least one) to keep me "strong" and "aware" because it helps me to keep on my toes and not get depressed and falling for any of the bs they give out. it helps us - reading the comments too - because it helps to know others are in the same boat and trying to heal. you can do it. keep learning so you don't fall into the trap, they (a narc) does not want to lose a source, so they will circle back around to see if they can subtly get back in. I am getting good at knowing the signs so you can too. it is okay if they go away for good, by the way, you can only change yourself, not anyone else. know you deserve better and are worthy to receive and have what you want and need. God bless you. Thanks Danish!
@@jbrown2908you are absolutely correct you just flip-flopped the terms. Watch the video again and you will see that Danesh is referring to it as a 'style' precisely because it is built in and cannot be changed, whereas a 'mental illness' (which most OTHER experts call it) can be clinically identified and cured. WE know this is inaccurate and gaslighting. A person's 'style' is a part of who they are ... always. Narcissism IS a mental illness of course, the only one that cannot be cured. That's why he's calling it a 'style'. I don't think I communicated that too good but anyway it was nice chatting with you
wrong, it's choice. it can become compulsory when it's gone on for so long that it has become a habitual way of being. no one is a victim here, it's all a matter of choice. you are the result of your choices. God didn't intend us to be evil or act evil or think evil, that's a choice. no coincidence.....@@jbrown2908
Many of them dont want to change. @@jbrown2908
Wow!!! That was powerful! At least I know that I am not a narcissist. Because all the things you said in this video, was done to me . But God is merciful to me. He is putting me back together piece by piece from the destruction that was done to me my whole life.
I confess, I watched this video with some trepidation... I have to remember that my new power after a long stint with a narcissist doesn't make ME a narcissist. I have not felt power before (not to this extent) and sometimes when I feel a new confidence, I confuse it with vanity... and narcissism. I'm looking forward to finally healing and being sure that self-care is not selfish. Woof... 😕
I did too. Just earlier, I was thinking to myself, "am I the narcissist?" You can't help but replay those scenarios where you didn't act your best so you automatically assume it's your fault because you've been indoctrinated to feel ashamed of your own existence. BTW, I 💜💜💜 what you said about power and confidence- I get tripped up in it too. Thank you for saying the words I couldn't articulate.
You both are too kind and self reflective to be narcissistic ❤
I often accuse myself of vanity. And only sometimes have the presence of mind to recognize that my mother used to accuse me of it as a child!
I just have a really have a serious problem with humans hurting other humans 💔 I feel like it's something demonic. When you started "talking to the narcissist" that's probably not even trying to watch this about themselves bc yeah wasn't knowing how to deal with someone that I just heard the word ( Narcissist ) and a few little things started fitting together and I'd shut down. Literally getting deprogramed from the brain washing. I have so many blank times in all the years I stayed out of that freeze mode bc my adult children think the Narcissist was keeping me drugged up with all the medications and they also found empty blood thinner medication from past illnesses and usually a blood thinner after any procedure I was having done for different reasons but all the time, anyway they found quite a few empty bottles and that was odd I know all the bottles shouldn't have been empty and we all knew I stopped that kinda medication and was put on that was more stable I think . Just odd.
I love your channel, so well said everything. I grew up with a narcissistic mother. At 17, I got a call from my sister that my father was in the hospital about to have gallbladder surgery. I called my mother to tell her I was staying the night at my dad's house where my sister lived since we would be going to the hospital. My mother told me to come home now or not at all since she hated my father and they were divorced. Worried about my father's condition, I went to the hospital. The next morning, my sister followed me to my mother's house since we knew she would be true to her word. Once there, my mother took my keys to the house and car, then locked the door in our faces. It was the most depressing thing, then having to take a bus to stay in the same high school from an hour away from my father's house. My father was so happy to have me living with him, since my mother fought him on this. Those years with my father were the best of my life. We didn't have much money, but there was so much love and safety that nothing else mattered. She later told people that I thought I was too good to be driving the old Volks Wagen bug she supposedly gave me, while keeping the pink slip the entire time to keep taking it away, but she did throw a Birthday party for me to show everyone she gave me that car. So many lies where she never admitted taking it away, it just makes me sick to my stomach
I'm so sorry that you went through this. I hope that you are healing. Their abuse can take so much out of a person. They know it, too. Prayers for healing!💗
Ugh my Narcissistic Mother rages with Jealousy too and was abusive emotionally, verbally, financially and physically abusive. I'm an adult now and live in another state far away for her. She'll never change and is now 72 yrs and still pulls her stunts but it doesn't work with me anymore or at least I don't show it works. It's easy for me because all I have to do is not answer her calls, return when them when I'm ready and dismiss her when she starts, which is every call. I just merely state I got to go my clients are calling etc or I have a meeting etc. I don't think it would be as easy if I lived in the same city.
keep coming here to watch the videos and read the comments, that's what I do - keeps us aware and less vulnerable to their antics. keep self healing......we're meant to be happy, being miserable is their choice.............@@JessiesFamily
Blxxdy hell !! .. mate...😮..I'm an Aussie lady...I tell ya wot ..I been thru the exact same experience...my mother is jeleous of me and my sister coz we're both artists and we both look like Pamela Anderson beach girls😮. .U think a mother would be proud to have daughters like that..she is a fxckin sicko.. anyhow..Ur amazing 🤩..I know U r!!!!! ...see U in the new world 🌎...x🌞🦘🎸💦😁👍
@@Hope4BettaDayz Thank you so much. Sorry for the late reply :)
I definitely had some major narcissistic traits when I had narcs in my life. They seem to have Demonic attachments. If you find this happening to you go no contact with at least one narc. Get Baptized ASAP. This made the confusion spells wear off in a few weeks for me. Now I am at peace.
I never used to believe I that stuff - witchcraft. My last narc...he was definitely using witchcraft. And I wasn't the only one who saw weird stuff, weird visual distortions, different colored eyes, different heights, etc. It was so bizarre, and I wasn't the only one who saw it. It all makes sense now. He was definitely using witchcraft and has demonic entities attached to him.
In my case, God did show me the signs that I am a narcissist. It took me a while to understand but eventually I understood the signs. Initially it was painful. I couldn't believe that I am a narcissist. But somehow I accepted it. Now I am trying to change myself. It's not easy. It's hard. But I am not going to give up. I am really sorry for all the sins that I did to all those people. I hope God does forgive me.
All narcissists are made (from abuse) not born (genetic).
Derek Prince has videos about healing. We need to first acknowledge out shortcomings, repent, forgive others, ask for forgiveness, then welcome healing. It helps to forgive others when we remember that they too became narcissists through abuse that they didn’t ask for. Even if they’re too far gone to reconcile, we can still forgive them from a distance.
I am on the journey also, I was a childhood victim of abuse and passed that on to my own children. It is a horrible thing to observe what sits inside of me, but at least I can see it now and realise that I am the cause of pain to the ones I 'love' most. I wish you well on this journey ❤
The fact that you can recognize there is a problem and you are learning to be more self aware means you aren’t too far gone. It’s your personal demon . It will take a lot of work for a long time but is well worth it! Turn to Christ and accept that He died for your sins. Declare Him as your Lord and Savior. Talk to Him, start a relationship with Him and He will give you discernment and self awareness. God bless you ❤
@@Tawanda99 Yes glory to All gods. Jesus. Durga. Shiva. Vishnu. Ram. Krishna. Buddha. Mahavir. Guru nanak. Glory to all❤
Continuously follow therapy and guidances.May god protect you
From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA
Thanks you for saying it is not a disorder, and that it is a style for the narcissist. God bless you for speaking truth. Please keep acknowledging the things you do because this is truth. We certainly do. Love you here.
Well said. True to the core. All true. 🤔🤔Makes me even to wonder… though I do not consider myself to be a narcissist. Your message shows the importance of being true to: God; & even oneself, to look into oneself to see if there is a possibility that we may have traits of narcism & to deal with it head on with God’s help. The Good Book says, “Let Everyman examine himself… test himself… to see IF Christ Jesus lives inside of us or not.” Thanks… your post was truly helpful.
Probably your best message
ecording\video (for me) really well and simpley explained,very very good Danish,you have no idea how many people you are helping...
I can't imagine not knowing how Love really feels. This has to be out of any sickness that I can think of the worse. And Love is free
It’s very hard to change a narcissist because their source of energy is in draining other people. Only they can change themselves.
Those who can't be their true selves hurt those who are, until the victims either go silent, die, break, or hide under masks themselves. It's like a virus.
Your comment is very true * the ( victim ) go silent _ die or break or hide behind a mask as a way of survival * true indeed is a mad cycle virus _ is like there's no escape 😢
This is why it's hard for others to distinguish who the narcissist is and who the actual victim really is.
Wow, this is very deep. The first one made me wonder 💭, but requiring someone to be honest with me and tell the truth is not asking for too much.
I’m good. I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS.
After being married to a narcissist for 34 years and meeting new ppl like gets kind of scary, so I stay on guard.
But your videos are VERY HELPFUL!
I was raised bye a narcissistic person 😢, sometimes I think I'm a narcissistic personality, but I am a victime of a sad bad world.
whilst that is true, you don't want to stay that way forever as that way you won't grow stronger for yourself and other surrounding you.
How can we know the we are the narcisstic or the victim ?
@@ka_zul it's very interesting 🤔, am I a narcissist or a victim. I study Sam Vagnin on TH-cam the father of Narcissistic diagnosis. I realised some of my acting was copied from my narcissistic abuser, but basically I am a bipolar person, PTSD and BPD etc.. according to Sam Vagnin, my mental state is a direct consequence of my upbringing by a narcissistic parent. I managed to cure myself through study on TH-cam, I'm really another person now, I forgave myself for all wrongful happenings against me in my life, cause no one is guilty being a victim of mental torture. However my own mistakes against others is the most painful, I can understand why I made mistakes being "crazy" in my young days. my mistakes were not evil. Now I try to help others when possible and mind my own life when I can. Studying myself is the best I have ever done; you cannot know others if you don't know yourself !
@@techjunkie68smusicandtech56 you are so right, I study myself seriously for 2-3 years, now I not a victim anymore, I am now responsible for myself and my actions, thanks for commenting
@@ka_zul prof. Sam Vagnin says; just that you can question yourself if you are a narcissist 🤔 indicating that you are not a narcissist 😊. Studying myself has helped me mentally, learn to think differently better, it's never too late, I'm 60 now.
We all have narcissistic tendencies. It’s our ego, and part of being human. It’s a matter of catching ourselves, reflecting, taking responsibility and learning from it. Trauma can cause us to act out hurting ourselves and others. We just have to learn through these experiences.
Danish, you have the rare gift of explaining the unexplainable.
What they need are prayers , prayers, more prayers to enlighten them, surrender everything to God
And therapy. Lots of psychological work.
Therapy doesn't work for narcs. Only God himself can deliver these people because what is within is demonic. @@vaska1999
Perfect !Now you spoke to the narcissist and not about him/her. The Lord is able to redeem them with His Love and understanding .
Narcissist in the world :
Give your unhealthy and sick life back your Savior and He will and is able to heal you .Only if you like it to be healed .
Then you are happy and able to real love !!!!!
This is an excellent coverage of the characteristics and dynamics of Narcissism. Placing this hellish disorder in a divine context is long overdue. Many thanks!
A sign “If you want what we have” Just my own experience of the 12-step program. That was the first time in my life I was not shamed, and from that time forward I have never allowed it. Spiritual transformation started with those 6 words.
I love your delivery of this..😊 i seem to have the chronically unhappy or miserable trait lately. These are all good to be aware of. Thank you.
That’s exactly how I connected the dots with my best friend of 50 years. She stared projecting on me, saying about me , you think you can behave and act anyway you want because of your childhood. She was a very good actress and then the mask fell and boy was it ugly. Not my friend anymore, no contact.
Oh wow I have this darkness consuming me after 11 years of narc abuse even though I’ve been out of that relationship for 10 years but still get extreme anxiety every time I get a message from him re our kids to the point that my current husband now reads all the messages first. I’ve asked myself if I’m the problem many times I’m still so confused though.
thank God that you are talking about God (as he seems to be forgotten in this atheist society)
Amazing insights man, from a different angle, thanks
The more I listen to this the more profound it becomes.
I was unsure if I’m a narcissist or not. I dealt with narcissistic abuse from an ex boyfriend. He does the hoovering and showing off his new supply, but I can’t help thinking even if he is a narc…am I one too? But with me, I don’t seem to have a need for any supply or validation…still unsure if I’m a narc or not. But after dealing with one…I don’t want to be one of these monsters! Or make anyone suffer from being one.
This was one of your best videos I've seen...u explained it all in a way that made it all so clear to understand....u are one of the best I've ever listened to ....God bless u Danish
I try so hard to beat my own stupidity and toxicity.
Self reflection is painful. This may be why people don't do it so much
Hi Danish! Can you do a video on malignant narcissism since you have experience with one? My ex was a covert self righteous narcissist. He had to have total control over everything including me. Everything was engineered in his environment. During the end of the relationship he isolated me in mountains on 8 acres of land. I didn't have a car so I was trapped there with what I thought was my Siberian cat. It got really dark and abusive. He controlled what I ate and when I ate. When I go to bed and when I workout. Even my whole workout plan was designed by him and he had to coach me when I worked out, but I could never be as strong as him. Anyways, it was humiliating and dark and scary. He some how got me to get a cat because he wanted a cat. I was deathly allergic and he didn't really care. He programmed me every day after work to love cats. He called me a cheetah. It got to my brain. I started only buying cat stuff. I dressed like a cat everyday and started acting like one too. I cried every single day and was diagnosed with major depressive disorder but still he wired my brain to workout. It's healthy and everything and I love but I'm just demonstrating how controlling he is. I had executive dysfunction and he had to make food for me. He planned to get cat without even telling me years before. He convinced me since I had a traumatic childhood that I was broken and everything that I did was wrong. He would constantly tell me how horrible my friends and family were until all I had was him. I would never warm up or talk to his family because they all had anger problems. His grandma warned me in the beginning of the love bombing phase that he and his dad are extremely passive aggressive. He wouldn't even keep the cat out of the bedroom so I could sleep. He didn't care. I couldn't sleep. I remember one night I got fed up and started spraying anti allergen on the bed and some of it got on him and he snatched the bottle of spray out of my hands and sprayed in my face smirking at the same time. Then he dragged me outside the door of the house while I was butt naked and locked the door and was laughing at me from the kitchen window while I was freezing cold and crying. There were other times he physically attracted me, but the mental abuse was painful. I suffered big time. I thought my body would fail me. My brain was dead. I couldn't even draw anymore. I couldn't read and remember what I read. He had to constantly repeat himself because I couldn't remember anything. He would rage at me as if I murdered a child when I would constantly pull my eyelashes. He would do suddenly and furiously that I would start crying and he laughed and didn't care. Anyways, I caught him in a cheating situation he did darvo on me. It's a long story but my dad helped me escape. I had a chaotic crazy childhood with extreme neglect so he seduced me by always being on time and taking care of financial needs and very orderly and consistent. but no love and if you break a rule, he would covertly punish me by withholding love to the point where I stopped initiating physical affection and he got angry about that too. He ignored me for a year right after my mom died when I called him out for trying to control my money. He was a professional gas lighter. Because he would always pick me up on time, and always saw him with me and he would go to my doctor's appointment, people thought he would never cheat and that I had it good, but couldn't be further from the truth. The discard phase, he just suddenly treated me like I didn't exist. Isolated me at his sister's place during the holidays and threatened me if I left to be with my family. I was all alone with panic attacks I felt from my chest down to my toes. I also had separation anxiety from leaving home because during covid I stayed home everyday and started going crazy. I was mentally ill and had fatigue that not even Adderall could help concentrate and get out of bed. I had cptsd so bad I started hearing sounds in my head that weren't there. During the discard phase when he became the full monster, I had to hospitalize myself for suicidal attempt. I was really going to take all my Xanax at once and drown myself to death because I felt like I was drowning in the relationship. I still stayed in shape even though I constantly felt sick. He sure of that. Constant pains through my body. Heavy periods, brain fog, couldn't do shit but workout. He would always say my body belongs to him and captured a princess and put her in a castle. Those were subtle signs. So many things that went on in this relationship. I'm healing because bits and pieces are coming back before I could not speak or say a word to know one for months after I got back home with my dad. My doctor wanted me to go to intensive care for people with mental illness. He wanted me to kill myself that's why I didn't do it.
I’m so sorry you went through all of that. May God heal you completely. God bless you.
Your story is crazy and I believe all what you felt and went trough . I m married a covert malignant narcissist full blown . 10 years of my life I experienced pain what I can’t write here or explain . He too try to control my every accept of life and try to isolate me from my family and friends . But I was too strong and I finally made to brake free forever from him. I made it to brake free since I started to get to know and love my almighty god jahwe or Jehovah and going trough my healing . Of course and the great videos from great people who teaches us survivors what these heartless cruel creatures are we sadly fell for . Thank you for these videos 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽. You two will brake free and start healing .
Yes, they want you to commit suicide!!! It's the ultimate power thrill. I got upset with my nex, for good reason, and went home. He was in such a good mood and truly hoping I was suicidal. No, I was just disgusted with him and left. He was so happy and kept saying "promise me you won't do anything to hurt yourself". We'd not dated that long, I wasn't attached to him, and getting increasingly turned off by him. Of course I wouldn't commit suicide. He lives in fantasy land. It was his fantasy that he could get a woman to commit suicide over him. And he's gay, he's definitely gay, but wants girlfriends to exploit. And wants to think he's a lady killer, and was HOPING I was suicidal over him. That's sick, sick, sick.
How old are you and how old is he?
Its sad that Ive been through the theraputic process and it was hell for 3 years trying to heal and after all that I still want to believe there is a good person in there. I know that is part of this. When I see them sad I then think there is a broken child in there. I believed I could love them uncond and found myself back then praying and trying to battle for their soul from these demons. It broke me. I feel alot stronger now yet those old feels creep back up making me feel sorry for them. I think this is how it goes and the cycle repeats with the same feelings. I am learning to still love from a distance. I just cant repeat the cycle I dont want to die. The holidays are really tough. On the other side I have a great family that helped me and I love them dearly. I think I am addicted to him. It is so hard during the holidays to remind myself of the devistation that happened when I felt like my life and dreams were destroyed it was something out of a movie. I wish things were different the reality is they are not. I am surrounded by loving people. I do not wish this on anyone. I was in love with him at first site 34 years ago. I always felt this adrenan rush. I can't do it to myself anymore. All the people that he probably slept with since the break up scares the shit out of me. I have not been with anyone. This really drives me insane.
begin with knowing you deserve to be respected, valued, loved, cared for, wanted, and to have what you want and need. this is what I affirm everyday, it starts with us. quit wishing and start doing. you are addicted in a way, it is called, "habitual conditioning" it is familiar and most likely traceable back to how you were treated as a kid......either way, you are a child of God and not at the mercy of a narc unless you keep allowing it. Danish is trying to help us to become aware of the signs. look, there are only 2 sides in life, choose one and choose the best. good or evil. there is no in-between. it's their choice to be the way they are, it is NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY and your "wanting to be good" (i.e., "save him from himself") will only serve to entrap you. what I found was that when I focused on the other person and was so unhappy doing it was because I was avoiding giving to myself - ALL WE CAN DO IS CHANGE OURSELVES. NOT OTHERS. God gave everyone free will - use it to become happy. if he wants to change - he will, if he doesn't - he will count on you feeling sorry for him again and you will fall for the trap. Learn to focus on your Self and what it is you need and what it is you want. Narcs are energy vampires. evil doers. why fall prey to that? wakey, wakey. break the bad habit.
No love can or should be unconditional, except the love of a parent for his or her children. We need to recognize how pernicious the ideal and myth of unconditional love actually is and we need to consciously reject it if we're to be both honest and sane.
Btw, what you're describing is a form of trauma bond. And it really does feel like an addiction -- neurologically, it may well be one. A good therapist could help you through this difficult time and through the process of letting go of your fantasy of a love for and with someone who's hurt you, badly, over and over again. I see that several psychologists and doctors on TH-cam recommend a company called Better Health, who offer online psychological counselling at affordable rates.
All the people he’s probably slept with while you were still together should scare you even more.
no doubt, sorry to add this but there isn't anything so far that I have found that I would put past them, they are not trustworthy and would sell their own mother for money, so sleep around? yes, I agree if they can find someone gullible enough.....my experience. wakey, wakey.@@WayneZalinksy
A blessing is praying that tge narcassist meets affliction, devastation and suffering, purposed to ead them to calling out for God, acknowledging something greater than themselves.
There's a repeated pattern of losing jobs and relationships and always the fault of the other party.
Yes, thank you. This explains why I have never been able to hold down a job like everyone else can seem to do.
perfectly explained.,
Stone. Heart exists beats only to pump blood. Spot on!
That's very eye-opening.
The stone analogy is almost scary....
Be careful all you good people out there.
I'm so glad I watched this. I do have patterns through my life that are still unhealthy. I disconnected from my family now. I hope I'll still have a way to see my grandkids if Good wants that he'll make a way for it. I'm finally in his will and feel his peace and warmth daily even though I'm exhausted. He's been teaching me to rest in him like a piece of broken clay and we go through the pain together and I finally know the pain isn't going to kill me. I'm happy.
He hurt me so much that I feel I have zero value and I latterly beat myself up physically to the point of my ears ringing and headaches from hitting myself. A friend of mine keeps invalidating my feelings about what the narc did to me - she keeps telling me I have victim mentality. I actually don't feel like expressing my feelings to my friend anymore
You do not need your friend to validate your feelings your experience with this person that has from your own words has disrupted your spirit, your friend is not in the relationship with this person you are !! Your emotions are yours not your friends! So there is no feasible way she can tell you how you feel , she can be a place of empathy and compassion a place for you to unload your burdens and vent about them in a safe space a listening ear , if she chooses to be , to me the only person more as divine heavenly being that can provide such a Glorious space is Jehovah God!! So with that being said the only person that can tell you what is real or not ultimately is yourself !! You may want to ask yourself this one question first does love between two people lift each other and brings about a sense of joy to each other's life , world ? Enhance one another as individuals? Or does it bring about destruction and pain and chaos ? . I pray you will find healing thru our lord and Savior Jesus Christ ❤️ rise and shine
That's your enemy not friend
If a person has Borderline personality disorder, they can heal. So I would suggest that that person see a Therapist ( or Google about it online ) and ask for the written test that you can take for personality disorders and start working on it via therapy or books, self help.
Borderlines attract narcissists/psychopaths. They see your sensitive behavior and it’s like the scent of blood to a shark. Then they want to feed. Bullies like bully supply. That’s what they’re up to when they mess with you. It’s fun for them. They hide that they are doing it. It’s part of the con game.
That is not a Friend. You need immediate help due to hitting yourself. Full stop. You know this is true. Start there. Tell that 'friend' " Thank you, I'm going to get help I need." And, start your Wonderful Journey. Today! 👋🦋
I have become rather opposed to the entire "don't be a victim!" way of thinking. I am not certain, but I have come to believe that that entire 'movement' is a Wolf-In-Sheep's-Clothing movement for abusers.
The way I think of it is this: what do most people mean when they say they are a victim? Usually, "victim" is a shorthand for "something wrong was done to me and I did not bring it upon myself". Now, in my experience, the top two things an abuser never wants to hear and will do just about anything to not hear, are these:
1. That what they did was wrong
2. That the one/s they are abusing did not invite the abuse upon themselves in any way
In my experience, abusers love to deny that what they did was wrong, and to blame their victim for the fact that they were abused; the classic "they were asking for it" defense. And saying you are a victim is a refusal of blame, a total refusal of the abuser's two main gaslights, which are that what they did wasn't wrong and also that you did something to invite the behavior and are therefore just as culpable as they are, if not more so.
This, I believe, is the core motivation of the "don't be a victim" argument: an abused person saying they are a victim is a cry for help, and a cry of warning as to the abuser's ways: their cruelty, their anger, their untrustworthiness. Saying "don't be a victim" is clapping a hand over the abused person's mouth so they cannot get help and cannot sound the alarm. And if the abuser can convince outsiders to tell their abuse victim "don't be a victim", then the abuser does not even have to go to the trouble of clapping the metaphorical hand over their victim's metaphorical mouth themselves: it is all done for them. The ultimate in Flying Monkeys. The ultimate thing the abuser wants: to abuse to their heart's content, to have their victim silent, to have everyone around them condone their abuse. The Abuser's Dream.
Bro the way you explain is sooo true 👍
Yes! Narcissists need to own their shit! I remember having an identity crisis when I left home. I was at college and I wondered "who am I? Am I just a cookie-cutter of my parents? I knew the answer was "no." I knew some aspects of myself that were deeply felt, but what else defined the real "me?" I realized at that moment that I would find the answers about the real "me" over time as I lived my life in connection with other humans and with nature. I would observe my own behavior and take note of the real "me." I learned a lot over the years. I liked a lot about who I am and I faced those aspects of myself that are weak spots. I accept that I am not perfect. I am ok with who I am - and sometimes I'm even proud of myself.
This is an extremely difficult video to watch as a survivor.
With every word of yours comes flashbacks and painful memories.
I'm sorry I cant watch this video till the end. I tried. ❤
I am a narcissist and I am watching this video
Exodus 20:7
"Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.”
You may have just altered my whole trajectory. Thank you
Thanks!
Very well said---they choose to stay asleep!I ve been observing also that they really feel nothing!....as you said emotionally dead!
You discussed everything so deeply that I feel, I am also a narcissist who abused others by cutting ties acknowledging them as narcissists. Confused now! Am I?
Do you lack empathy? Can you put yourself in other people’s shoes and think to yourself, I didn’t like it when this bad thing happened to me, therefore I refuse to do it to this person?
Look up the definition of evil. Then look up all of the additional words that also stands for evil. Do you do these evil things to people?
If somebody puts up a boundary to keep your evilness away from them, do you ignore it and push your way into their life anyways to try and get what you want out of them?
Narcissist/psychopaths look at people as if they are card board cut-outs, not real humans with real feelings and emotions who can be hurt; they don’t care. They look at humans as objects or tools to be used at their dispense and convenience.
Do you get angry at somebody and want to hit them but you know that you can’t because it’s against the law so you mentally abuse them instead to get even? That’s childish and passive aggressive. Instead, what a normal person does is leave and cut their loses, meaning, they allow themselves to lose and pay the cost but they know not to fight back because it will turn into a petty back-and-forth, never ending passive-aggressive war. That behavior is immature and beneath them so they leave.
A narcissist would never say that.
aren't you supposed to cut ties with narcs?
They do like to project so maybe...
The fact that you're seeking self awareness by even asking that question suggests that you are not a narcissist. 👍 Keep looking within yourself. Peace and blessings 🙏
🙌🙏🤓❤️
If only a narcissistic personality type would listen to this. 🤷♀️ 🥸 Narcissistic never let anyone speak long enough to make their point. 😂 I have to say, I personally enjoyed every minute. It was cathartic to listen to. Thank you ! 🙏
your content is so healing 🙏 maybe you want to start a podcast? I'd like to listen to longer content pieces 😊
I don't care what kind of car you drive or what kind of house you live in or how much money you have .The greatest gift is Love❤ And there is only 1 that has the last say so and believe you me He doesn't care who you are ❤
Excellent dissection Danish. Thanks for sharing.
Wow are you spot on-and your English is superb!
I do admit i have been narcissistic in my life and i have carelessly thrown out people in my life and devalued other people in my life as well just because i hated myself. If only i loved myself a lot more maybe i wouldnt have been that way but i was and i feel ashamed. I feel so ashamed i dont really know how to change.
I found great healing and a total psychological death/rebirth through a plant medicine called Ayahuasca-which was administered by indigenous healers in Brazil. Perhaps you could look into this, I would never recommend taking it without proper supervision as the spiritual work that you may need to face can be overwhelming. It IS a way mother earth provides us healing. It also opened my heart to God through Jesus, who I was interested in before but began actually following only after my Ayahuasca experience. God is the ultimate healer, and like a loving father if you sincerely ask he will always answer when you're ready (which is always the present moment you find yourself in) ❤ best of luck and remember God is love
Thank you for your posts.❤
Thank you for this vid, you give a good understanding about a narcist, I can agree with where you speak that God universe gives signs or somehow let you know that in my case I know that I was shown or guided to find out about narcist or narcistic abuse, I would say or think the aspects you have here on your video, 1 the inability to feel something for someone else, this is one aspect I had seen my narc lacks,like recently a neighbor that lives up the road had taken his life, I felt very sad, and felt very sorry for the family, even though he was just someone that would greet and have a small chat, he was not a very good person though he had some bad in him, but I still felt sad and bad for him and his family, whereas my narc had a smirk when the girlfriend came to tell us he had passed on, and was like smiling I saw it she didnt as he had his back towards her standing slightly between her and me, another aspect 2 is mine blames everyone and any thing other than himself,and if I can point it that another aspect is if someone else is doing better ect than him he always says something negative about such person and gossiping about such person to others with negative things to say about such persons, what you speak of gave me insight of what he most likely is like within himself, because he is cold most times and only slightly warm when around others or if he needs something from me or from others, thank you very insightful and educational, and helps me understand more about narcist and what they are🙏🙏
Sadly, many of these character traits are found in so many people.... we are all in desperate need of healing and change, behavior therapy
May God Almighty Grant Everyone a Happy Life.
Thanks in Advance❤
I feel like only meditation can change a narcissist. Because even a narcissist has a soul inside them. And any soul can benefit for meditation.
Narcissists have their heart chakra almost completely blocked and also their root chakra is blocked by a lot of trauma and insecurity, which is why they are like what they are. Meditation helps with unblocking the chakras one by one. And of course, it would be impossible to make a narcissist sit and meditate as they won't do anything as per other's wish. But, if they do in the rarest of cases, it can change them.
Being narcissistic is not being a narcissist. It’s shame experienced over and over
I have cptsp, after 30 years in a terrible narc family via marriage. They are so inholy. They ruined lots of things, every holiday, birthdays anything they could. I suspected the whole time God was urging me to leave. So now, my kids are not that close to me and feel some allegiance to the extended family that abused me and them, they just dont recognize it as abuse. So I do just want someone to acknowlege how bad it actually was but i will probably never get that. Sometimes i do have narc traits now and sometimes i do actually put them to use against the dirtbags. Its survival.
100% with your opening statement! The best video in the Universe to the Narcissist! But the Narc isn't watching!!!
Spot on. Even though it's over between my ex narc and me, I still wish that they would pause their inner and outer destruction in order to take a look into themselves and heal. Our kids are involved and will be directly affected by them NOT doing the work.
My mistake is that I thought that I could make a difference in their life. I wanted to help them and instead of saving myself, I just disregarded all of the red flags and literal nightmares that I had that specifically told me what our relationship would end up becoming. It was like my subconscious knew what was going on, but I didn't listen. Now, I know that it wasn't love. It was heavy manipulation. I didn't fully get it then, although something in the core of me must have known better, I mistakenly just catered to their wants and needs above all others.
Now, I'm working on learning how to listen to my head as well as my heart. To recognize when something isn't good for me, that it's okay for me not to accept mere scraps and give someone else more than I offer to myself.
Being alone and dealing with the discard and subsequent divorce has been brutal to say the least, but I can honestly say that it's been for the better. We all need that time to heal over. Hopefully, if there ever is a next time around for me for love, I'll know what REAL love is and not get fooled by someone who doesn't actually have it to offer. If there isn't a "next time" for me, at the most, I'll have learned that I'm worthy of being loved.
Prayers and best wishes to everyone out there struggling to make it through in these situations.
Praying for the narcs too cuz The Almighty is the only one who is gonna bring them out of their darkness.
I agree but this video gives no hope for your ex does it?
@@NafaelRadalBeats Nope.
@@Hope4BettaDayzIt's not just this video. I've read widely on narcissism and it's universally acknowledged by psychologists and psychiatrists that narcissists rarely if ever change for the better, that they ever mature.
@@vaska1999 Oh, 100 % in agreement. I was just saying that I wish that they would change, although I know that It's more than likely never going to happen.
I thought am a narcissist but after seeing this video i realise am not .thank you danish sir . I still feel and always pray for others peaceful and happiness , felt bad if i hear about bad incidents , never try to control anyone and if i found out someone whom am thought is a good person but in real they are not i pray for them to change .i can sleep peacefully finally knowing am not a narcissist
I wish my H would listen to you and mend his ways of learning to love and care for the most beautiful things and persons .................in his life.
Shukriya Dear Danish 🌹🌹🙏 Stay blessed always
Also narcissists never heal... they remain the same... we who chose to heal were on the path of narcissism, but we stepped away as soon as we realised, that we could be that maniac that we have been avoiding... i can proudly say, that I'm not a narcissist.
❤❤ I will forever clap for others until it's my turn 🎉🎉🎉
my narcissist ex husband wouldn't allow me talk to my parents siblings and to go to temple atleast. if i go to temple he used to ask what habit is this? i was shocked. came out when 5months pregnant. and now with 9 months baby... he didn't even spent paise for my baby.
😞💝🫂🙏🫶💐🤗 Congratulations on your beautiful baby 😘 I will pray for you and Baby to Be Free, to be Free, and Loved, and both Live a Happy Happy Life. 🙏🕯️
thank you, i enjoy listening to your voice´s melody, very calming, like a mantra
They're deeply unconscious and can't hear a word you say!
There's nobody in that vessel.
That is a given. Your (our) liberation comes when they are no longer a part of your (our) thoughts and existence. They hate the light of truth and humanity
@@Sortalike... Yes because they have been overcome with demonic possession
@DanishBashir you are so smart and wise Thank you for explaining so well, also thank you for sharing your narcissistic abuse from your parents and grandfather. I was wondering if your grandmother ever tried to intervene and protect you from your grandfather and both your parents? You have beautiful hair, thank you again 🙏
Hello.
Would you please speak about narcissists who have 'night terrors'.
Thank you.
Am i a narcissist or a survivor? I just got out of a narcissistic abuse and all of these true for me.
Partners tend to mimick each others behavior. If you got out of a relationship and you’re not sure who you are anymore they were most likely the narc.
same what you fight you become!!!
It's CPTSD and can be healed.
They empty you of you and replace it with them.
That you're even questioning it is proof that you aren't a narc. It's CPTSD from the internal abuse inflicted on you. It will take time & effort. Know that you are not alone in the struggle. Research CPTSD, seek help from a professional who specializes in narc abuse & continue watching videos such as this. I've made a playlist of narc abuse videos that I listen to every day to help "deprogram" the toxic thoughts that were insidiously implanted in my brain. You will heal with time & be better & stronger for it 😊👍
Made me feel the same way because I had been accused of some of these things even believed if for a while and isolated myself for years in fear I was hurting people until I started reading what a narcissist actually is.
I knew all of this whenever I had a depressive episode but I always thought it was just me being melodramatic
For it to be described word for word by someone else means it wasn't all in my head
The problem really is me
So this is why I escape
I do feel emotions though, I just amplify my reactions to them because I want attention
I do constantly chase things but they are not material, they are emotional entertainment media that make me feel anything that I cannot personally feel in my life because I isolated myself from having any intimate friendships with anybody the moment I realized something was wrong with me
I've been keeping my friendships jovial but not emotional, none of the people I know in real life know anything about my past or why I feel the way I feel on the day to day
And I know it's better that way, I'm a time waster
I don't respect people's time
When someone likes me a part of me subconsciously starts looking for ways that they're inferior to me, that they're dumb, naive, or incompetent
I can spot that feeling of disdain behind the scenes painting them in that light even though I have no control over it, I'm actually serious when I say that I have no control over it
It's not a conscious thought, but maybe it was when I was a child and it became so habitual that I don't even notice it anymore
After all, from 8-11 years old I was such an obnoxiously arrogant little brat
Taking all of my flaws into consideration, I want to fail at life, genuinely
I have fantasies of myself getting harmed and mutilated in the most gruesome way I can imagine, because I can't actually exact satisfying punishment on myself in real life
This is the only way I can think of dealing with myself, but it still is entirely without regard to anyone around me
Because my parents rely on me, I must one day make a living to take care of them but I just want to fail and be the piece of worthless shit that I deserve to be known for
And because all that thinking is only going to lead to nastier and nastier behaviors towards others that will probably disturb them to whatever capacity
I recognize all of that sir
All of that
But the more I think and realize all of these things the more powerless I feel and the more I just want to not care
I really would be lying if I said I didn't care about others, at least at a certain point in my life
Since I went to live with my dad last year after several years of no contact, something in me broke
I feel like after all the traumatizing fights we've had I've completely closed myself off of ever wanting or hoping to be a better person, for fear that he might shatter that too
I can't handle watching my efforts shatter another time I just can't
I can't bear it
I'm crying while I'm typing this sir I feel hopeless I am filled with horror
I'll do my best, thanks for the suggestions.
Capt.Barbossa: "I feel Nothing"
Capt. Sparrow: "Stop blowing holes in my ship"!
A narcissist would watch this video to become a better more sophisticated narcissist... they're very aware that people are catching on to them and their methods...its like sending acriminal to prison..
.he learns how to be getter at his craft while there
I so wish narcissists would watch your your brilliantly explained video .
How I wish my ex would be forced to listen to this, over and over again, until he's listened fully and let this sink in!
On a more sadistic note, I hope whenever he finally passes that the last thoughts in his selfish head are thoughts of how terrible he has been to literally every person he's had any kind of a relationship with. Maybe when his brain starts to go in those final moments, he will finally see what a horrible person he is and go out of this world with the terrible truth he can't face. I'll never know, but I can hope.
As for the question at the end about which one would be the most powerful in making a narcissist realize they have a problem, I say none! They were all completely spot on, but these monsters will never, ever admit they are the problem. If there were some type of brain scan to spot them, they would claim the scan was faulty, no matter how accurate it was deemed to be. If a therapist told them they have this, they would call the therapist "crazy" to other people and NEVER go back! I think they know they have a problem, though. They see others' genuine happiness and try to suck it out of them, out of jealousy. They see others who love and who genuinely care, so they try to destroy those people rather than working on positive steps to make their own life better! They hate the world for their shortcomings, so they try to destroy whatever they can! The last thing 99.999999% of narcissists would do is admit they have a problem.
I experience the first two- however I am the exact opposite.i am completely outnumbered and surrounded by narcissists. I AM constantly fight off and fending off toxic people. Anywhere I can meet normal people?
Yes..the X-Narcissist in my life..tried to get me to feel sorry for him.."I'm mentally ill".. my response was yeah..right!! I agree with your description..A-hole!! Yess..it's a life style..they know exactly what they're doing!! Only person he doesn't abuse is his mom..she's 80+ years old..too old to be babysitting when he gets himself in trouble..again!!
My Husband of 24 years tells me i need professional help,but this is'nt why.I think of my life.I have been physically abused, mentally abuse.And touched when i was 5.By some people ,and someone called me liar.I' m 47 now,and it pounders at me that my Daddy hung himself and did' nt stay to protect me.And the more i listen to you on this subject.I' ve been around Nassissist all my life.I have abused my self .I admit this.But i have never abusef nobody,cause i know how it feels.I wanna be friends woth evetybody.But not everybody ferls the same and thats ok.My Husband tells me to move on forget about.And he's right.But it gets to me.And I know jesus can help.And this dang addiction with cigarettes and delta 9 .Im medicating myself to help me forget.i have know idea what im doing
Hi Danish, do you think the crux of it is an enabling parent that never confronted the child with the true reality
Бог може и од камена да направи човека.
Међутим, ми људи то- не можемо.
Can you please make a video of 2 narcissists in a relationship or marriage.
Many religious traditions: Teach that every individual has a soul, which is often considered the eternal, spiritual essence of a person. This perspective suggests that individuals, including those with narcissistic traits, possess a soul that is separate from their psychological characteristics.
Karmic or reincarnation beliefs: In some Eastern philosophies, the soul is believed to undergo a process of growth and purification over multiple lifetimes. From this perspective, individuals, including those exhibiting narcissistic traits, may be on a particular point in their spiritual journey, working through challenges and lessons.
Human imperfection: Some religious teachings acknowledge the inherent imperfection of human beings and emphasize the potential for growth and redemption. Individuals with narcissistic traits might be seen as facing particular challenges on their spiritual path.
Matthew 10:34-39 NKJV
Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
It was hard to watch this video but by the end i was relieved that somewhere, I don't have many of these... yes, few of the things, i have realised about myself, and i am being careful, as i have had ignorant parents who were also separated, a sister who is schizophrenic, me, left alone, but these should not be the reasons for malfunctioning... i am becoming better than this...
P.s.- i don't post much on social media.
-Also, I do believe that not everyone will love me, but the ones who will do, I'll give back to them... also its hard to believe when your own family doesn't love you.
If you notice this about the narcissistic person and try to tell these things to them, they will see it as an attack won't they? How can you point out all the people they have alienated without it coming off like a put down? even if you are concerned and want them to have more friends, it still comes off that way.
I have noticed that I sometimes fake emotions because I am upset and do not want to upset others by showing it/have to keep focused on work. I have also caught myself not noticing all the things I have to be grateful for, I believe because narcissitic people have taken those things for granted for so long. When I am alone I start to feel grateful again. Is this the same as what you are talking about or me being overly self-judgemental?
They Never Change
i think i was very close to turn into a narcissist, but then i had a very bad series anxiety attack, and i started to change. i wasn't hurting anyone yet luckily, and i didn't had lost my empathy, wich was very strong as a kid, but faded slowly or anyway gor repressed because of abuse from people i'd helped and did repay my help with stabbing me in the back, i was also bullied and socially excluded as a kid, then i started become worse, not hurting anyone more or less, but i was unable to feel like before, i was likely fading slowly, and i could kind of feel it, but i was cofused and unable to understand fully, i started to get the doubt of myself being innately wrong, something that shouldn't even been there, and only a source of problem for others, then i started to become focused on my self improvment, initially it was probably a good thing, but slowly that was getting more and more self focused on improving, rather than feel better and someway have a real improvement, is hard to explain, but it was like having entered a loop, an obsessive loop that repete itself and grow bigger each time, like if you become greedy of so much perfectionism, to someway aim to become god.
i am sure 100% that the narcisist entere in this loop, and unless he can someway break it, he fall into the darkness and can't get out.
Perhaps personalities naturally exist on a spectrum between two poles, narcissist and empath. Some may have a strong genetic predisposition towards narcissism, others may become narcissistic because they suffer childhood abuse or neglect. Of course, a spiritual element may factor in as well.
I think the relationship I had was with a narcissist after listening to you. He was a clinical psychologist so is that possible????
I was a bit worried watching this, but I figure 'a good theory can handle to be tested/questioned'.
As someone who have been on the receiving end of gaslighting/mental abuse/what is at least all the signs of covert narcissism (diagnosis or not), it is *very* damaging. I find myself with a lot of anger, a lot of hate. I promised I would forgive him (not because he deserves it, but in exchange for helping someone else), and it is one of the hardest things I am trying to do in my life. But the difference is, I choose to gray rock, and limit contact. He seeks to isolate me, put me down, and literally step on me. He use his rage to attack; I keep my rage inside my head, and choose not to stoop to his level. Not that I am not tempted, I will admit.
The hardest thing is, he will never apologise or acknowledge what he is doing. He is going to keep insisting he is 'just being friendly' or 'just trying to help', and he will go on and on about how 'highly empathetic' he is, while stabbing me over and over again. My physical body was screaming at me to run the second I met him, and every second we were in the same building. I literally act like a dog that have been abused; I hide in the furthest corner of the room, and don't really interact with anyone. I don't have that feeling around other people. If there was one person I could un-meet in my life, it is him. Would have saved me so much pain.
I have frequently questioned my perception of him; the situations have been analysed from every angle a billion times. If I could have somehow misunderstood. But looking objectively at it, I was not wrong. I chose not to harm him back, even though he was worse and worse every time I saw him.
You don't need to force yourself to forgive this person, but you do need to protect yourself from any further abuse.
The narc I was with was watching the movie ‘Vanilla Sky’ and during the misery of Tom Cruise in that movie, he asked me, do you think I am a narcissist?
I think sth resonated in him… the turmoil, misery, ugliness & rottenness inside him.
Only Allah can save these people but only if they pursue Him & His help…
I was texting with a person since 2017 and I showed kindness and love to that person
I am not a narcissist ... I am a good person living with a head fracture/brain damage after my x partner who was a alcoholic banged my head towards a wall several times and tried to choke me to death
Danish, awesome video! I just don’t think narcissists, are going to relate their behaviour to that of being the ‘arsehole that they are’ or evil. People are only going to recognise and take in emotional information from the awareness that they are at. Remember, they’re broken, delicate, children in adult bodies. Approaching it from a more relatable angle that opens the door slowly and safely. Such as, do you find that you automatically step into the leadership role and know your way is the only way that works, so others feelings are not a concern. These are not conscious thoughts to a narcissist. Making it appealing or intriguing to them will help, if they’re going let their feelings become preconscious. Understandably, your viewing narcissists through hurt, because of your dad.