And ppl will label you as been antisocial, just respect my decision and move on !! You’re so absolutely true!! Lost more than few associates 🤷🏽♀️my NO is No, period 😅
Love seeing your channel grow! People pleasing, lack of boundaries and the inability to say no will put you in the grave. As Black women we are told (when we are young) that saying no is selfish and we run around doing for others and out ourselves last to the point of burnout and exhaustion. Good message this morning. Kids will sleep in and come around during lunchtime looking for snacks. Have a good day!
It’s really family that expects an explanation for why you’re telling them NO. That’s the most irritating part about it all. But like you said with practice, we’ll validate our NOs by not giving an explanation. ❤
So many therapists over many years on and off,not a one said anything to me about me being groomed to be a people pleaser…but i was. mama even put us (not herself) in a religious cult that stressed obey your parents and turn the other cheek. Your message today furthers my growth. Thanks again.
I have to learn no ..some of my adult children act like I'ma a made babysitter at their convenience etc but if I need something I'm azz out of luck ...then get accused of acting funny if I go silent
I literally lied in this video. I have zero intentions of putting those crock pots in the library pantry!🤦🏾♀️My head is all over the place. They'll go in the senior boxes, but I will put some of the peas inside. The rest will go in the boxes we'll deliver this weekend.❤😊
Good morning. You didn’t lie about those crockpots, you simply misspoke and corrected. I’ve not heard anything but flat footed truth being spoken on your platform. Be well and make it a great day. 🫶🏾🧑🏾🌾
Good morning. You didn’t lie about those crockpots, you simply misspoke and corrected. I’ve not heard anything but flat footed truth being spoken on your platform. Be well and make it a great day. 🫶🏾🧑🏾🌾
No is the hardest lesson to learn. My no became hard as steel in my late 40s and 50s. Don't get me started on family! 🙄🤦🏻♀️🤬 I'm glad we finally got over that. My first nos were voice quivering and tears. A lot of tears.
Thank you so much for this! I’m in the early stages of learning to say no, and this really resonated with me. I’ve said yes so often that I lost sight of myself, but I’m working to rediscover who I am and take up space again. This message was exactly what I needed today.
You're so welcome. Also, I can tell you emphatically that when I started saying no, I started to find myself. That's what putting ourselves first and now allowing others to make us overextend ourselves will ultimately do.
Saying No is something we as women and young girls are conditioned to feel bad about saying. Smile don't hurt nobody's feelings and just let them know why so THEY won't feel bad. Really? Thank you for this topic.
Thanks for sharing this. I have a 1 year old daughter and I want to make sure we do better by girls and women than we have the last few thousands of years.
You are preaching. It didn't take me long not to explain my no. It was so empowering to just look em in the face and give it. That's why people don't think I'm nice. I'm good with that.
Girl, when you said “in time those tools sharpen”Truth! Saying no without explaining all the time, it gets easier, tools getter sharper = freedom from excess bullshit
It took me a while to learn to say no, but I've gotten better at it. I decided to keep giving the reason when I say no (unless I am dealing with a particularly selfish type of person), because sometimes my reasoning may be faulty and I'd like to be challenged in those instances. I also want to be cautious about balancing self and community, but community is supposed to mean we are looking out and caring for each other, not one of us just looking out for the other.
I had to buy my black eyed peas early. Hawaiians celebrate the same foods we do. NO and boundaries are taught by most parents, as disrespect, especially ours. It's abusive. BUMP that, say No without any explanation, even to family. Took me 60 years to get there too🎉
Baby, I’m doing this at work, and people are discombobulated by it. It’s entertaining to watch. I abandoned a whole-ass project because the administrators constantly lagged behind the deadlines. Don’t care.
And ppl will label you as been antisocial, just respect my decision and move on !! You’re so absolutely true!! Lost more than few associates 🤷🏽♀️my NO is No, period 😅
💯👏🏾
I like that you used the word "associates" instead of friends. A lot of people don't know the difference.
Love seeing your channel grow! People pleasing, lack of boundaries and the inability to say no will put you in the grave. As Black women we are told (when we are young) that saying no is selfish and we run around doing for others and out ourselves last to the point of burnout and exhaustion. Good message this morning. Kids will sleep in and come around during lunchtime looking for snacks. Have a good day!
I so agree! We black women have been cast as the "mules" of society. We're supposed to die exhausted. No thank you!👏🏾
It’s really family that expects an explanation for why you’re telling them NO. That’s the most irritating part about it all. But like you said with practice, we’ll validate our NOs by not giving an explanation. ❤
💯
So true.
Good message, a lot of people need to hear it.
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Good morning ❤
🌻
🖤🧡💪🏿👑
🖤
So many therapists over many years on and off,not a one said anything to me about me being groomed to be a people pleaser…but i was. mama even put us (not herself) in a religious cult that stressed obey your parents and turn the other cheek. Your message today furthers my growth. Thanks again.
It starts off by telling us to be "good girls." Which has a much different message/ meaning than be a good boy, and you are more than welcome!🌻
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
🌻🌻🌻🌻
I have to learn no ..some of my adult children act like I'ma a made babysitter at their convenience etc but if I need something I'm azz out of luck ...then get accused of acting funny if I go silent
Let em feel their feelings. They'll be ok. You're not responsible for their inability to respect your "no's."
I literally lied in this video. I have zero intentions of putting those crock pots in the library pantry!🤦🏾♀️My head is all over the place. They'll go in the senior boxes, but I will put some of the peas inside. The rest will go in the boxes we'll deliver this weekend.❤😊
Good morning. You didn’t lie about those crockpots, you simply misspoke and corrected. I’ve not heard anything but flat footed truth being spoken on your platform. Be well and make it a great day. 🫶🏾🧑🏾🌾
Good morning. You didn’t lie about those crockpots, you simply misspoke and corrected. I’ve not heard anything but flat footed truth being spoken on your platform. Be well and make it a great day. 🫶🏾🧑🏾🌾
@elleemmejaye7305 Yes, I must spoke.😂
@@WokeGardener 🤭🤭🤭
I don’t know why my comments are appearing twice. 🤷🏾♀️
I don't have to say it but I will. People tell far worse lies than crock pot placement.🤣
No is the hardest lesson to learn. My no became hard as steel in my late 40s and 50s. Don't get me started on family! 🙄🤦🏻♀️🤬
I'm glad we finally got over that. My first nos were voice quivering and tears. A lot of tears.
Thank you so much for this! I’m in the early stages of learning to say no, and this really resonated with me. I’ve said yes so often that I lost sight of myself, but I’m working to rediscover who I am and take up space again. This message was exactly what I needed today.
You're so welcome. Also, I can tell you emphatically that when I started saying no, I started to find myself. That's what putting ourselves first and now allowing others to make us overextend ourselves will ultimately do.
Thank you, ma’am ❤
🖤
Saying No is something we as women and young girls are conditioned to feel bad about saying. Smile don't hurt nobody's feelings and just let them know why so THEY won't feel bad. Really? Thank you for this topic.
🌻
Thanks for sharing this. I have a 1 year old daughter and I want to make sure we do better by girls and women than we have the last few thousands of years.
Thank You.❤
🖤🌻
Thank you! 😘
🫂💗
You are preaching. It didn't take me long not to explain my no. It was so empowering to just look em in the face and give it. That's why people don't think I'm nice. I'm good with that.
I agree. I'm VERY comfortable with the emotional consequences my 'no' might bring.
WGsis! Correct. 🤔No means no period! I learned this raising children, who are a lot more assertive than am. Lol.
🌻
Girl, when you said “in time those tools sharpen”Truth! Saying no without explaining all the time, it gets easier, tools getter sharper = freedom from excess bullshit
🙌🏾
💯
@@tonyajohnson3450 🌻
Yep, self love is the best love.
🙌🏾💯🖤
Just popped in to say enjoy your day. I do not have a book to write today. Stay safe out the sister.
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Thank you 🪷
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Thank You. ♥♥♥
🌻
It took me a while to learn to say no, but I've gotten better at it. I decided to keep giving the reason when I say no (unless I am dealing with a particularly selfish type of person), because sometimes my reasoning may be faulty and I'd like to be challenged in those instances. I also want to be cautious about balancing self and community, but community is supposed to mean we are looking out and caring for each other, not one of us just looking out for the other.
Do what works.
@@WokeGardener You just spoke my motto. Lol.
GM ❤. Thank you for sharing. Your videos are always appreciated ❤.
🖤
Good morning,I was so happy to hear the stand by me gang is back
Me too! They'll probably hit the library pantry pretty hard while they're out of school.
I had to buy my black eyed peas early. Hawaiians celebrate the same foods we do. NO and boundaries are taught by most parents, as disrespect, especially ours. It's abusive. BUMP that, say No without any explanation, even to family. Took me 60 years to get there too🎉
Yep, we are conditioned to be agreeable even if it's to our own detriment. Women especially and black women even more so.💯
Baby, I’m doing this at work, and people are discombobulated by it. It’s entertaining to watch. I abandoned a whole-ass project because the administrators constantly lagged behind the deadlines. Don’t care.
Good for you!👏🏾
Amen
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