Your videos are so much helpful in this frightening journey. I am 10.5 months off xanax, but still it is real hell. Actually during my use, it was causing a lot of side effects, but I couldn't understand that all the horrible symptoms are due to this so called prescription drug. During taper also, it was a pure hell, mentally and physically. Now I just want to believe that it will come to an end as time passes. I wish you all the best at your 2 year's off.
I thought I responded to this, but I just want to say hang in there. Things will get better. My journey is one example of how things can play out. The timelines are not the same for everyone. Brighter days are ahead.
LOL! My B-Day is the 8th! Totally understand the hypnic jerks. It's like getting slammed in the back by a very strong opponent. My anxiety levels are WAY down as well. My cortisol levels are normal as far as I can tell. I can sleep in almost as long as I want to. My way to deal with acute withdrawal was to hide in my room. Especially when the cortisol ramped up in the AM. I was terrified every morning. TERRIFIED!! Over nothing. The fact you and I made it through this without offing ourselves is a testament to our strength. We can't hide ourselves from this. I agree with you in the fact that unless you've been through the fire, I can't really have respect for your opinion as a doctor. I think they're basically all full of ****. My own psych doc told me I didn't have akathesia. Yeah, pull the other one. He never had it so how can he dare to comment or judge?
Man if just a handful of these doctors could just have a taste of akathisia. I can't really say I wish it on anyone because of how awful it is. But I'd be lying if I didn't say it would help in their... Perspective on things.
Hey you friend. Thanks for the update. I know Melissa. She does some coaching for me. I’ve had very similar symptoms as her. Your jerks will get better. It’s time. Hate to say that but That’s what happens. I have big cognitive problems. I totally get it. You are a rock!!!! Hope you get better soon!!!! Say hello to your family ❤P
Good to hear from you! The jerks have gotten a lot better. I hope I can say a permanent goodbye to them at some point. But yes, you are right -- it's time.
I think I've been having that MCAS as well. I finally identified it as a histamine intolerance. I'm on an anti-inflammatory drug and I've read they can cause the body to stop producing the DAO enzyme that's used to break down histamines. I started taking a DAO enzyme supplement and that has helped a lot.
Im tge same birthday to brother. July 9th 1990 . Had a window today. No anger no rage. Had 4 hours of sleep the most sins bind began. I whent for a freaking run in the rain, first time in a year.. 6 months off . Keep up the positive vibes and information from your experiences. Wishing you the best. Happy late birthday.
hah that's funny -- happy belated birthday!! I'm glad to hear about all your progress. I remember your first comment. From then until now, you have improved a lot!
😂😊🎉 thanks, brother. 💪 I appreciate the birthday wishes all you said. Your right.. I am still moving further on my goals. Even completely sober and taking responsibility for myself my life, it's still hard to live with benzos' withdrawal, Bipolar disorder ,adhd, and ptsd Diagnosis, and yet I'm more confident than ever. Day by day, in every way, I'm getting better and better, for a quitter never wins, and a winner never quits.
Hey there, I’m two years out from a rapid taper from a longtime SSRI. Love the unhoused analogy. Thanks for the videos! Happy bday! I’d love to hear what supplements you’re taking and your MCAS diagnosis process. I still can’t drink caffeine, but would love to enjoy a cup of regular coffee again.
Hi, happy belated birthday! And all the best for 2 years off! As you mentioned in this video, talking to someone who understands this frightening journey really helps us. For me watching your videos and connecting really helped me . Now at 10 months one week off, all the symptoms are coming and going again and again. Severe head pains, weird thoughts,, very difficult to focus and read because of vision problems that occurred due to benzo withdrawal, brain fog is also very disturbing that I doubt about my own existence and reality. . Did you experience these at this point of time in your journey? Do you still feel windows and waves now? I am just pushing myself each day.
Thank you for the birthday wishes :) Yes, I definitely still had a lot of brain fog at 10 months. And yes, I still have waves. The conditions just need to be right. For example, the day I was making this video, if I had had a sleepless night or if I had drunk alcohol the day before and then experienced that stressful morning, it could have sent me into a wave. A year ago, the conditions for a wave were less specific. They could seemingly spring up from thin air. Or I suppose it would be more accurate to say, the triggers were so subtle so as to be unnoticeable.
@@windowsNwaves thanks for replying, it helps a lot. When no one understands or wants to listen or believe, I don't find myself alone, Thanks for being connected 🙏
4yrs off, and I’m just turning a corner. Sleep, memory, cognition (focus, task completion), and fatigue are the ones disabling me right now. No judgement, but you should cut out alcohol completely because it’s like taking a benzo every once in a while - can’t be good for a nervous system and brain that’s trying to sort itself out.
you are 100% right about alcohol. It's just about out of my life entirely, but I am coming to the realization that I cannot walk the tightrope. Trying to manage a drink every now and then is proving too difficult for me and I need to go all in. I am glad to hear you are turning a corner. Better late than never.
Check out baylissa. She is oldschool benzo coach. She knew prof ashton and also una corbett and Ian from the bristol tranqulizer project personally. Unfortuatley shes the only old school coach still around and has been doing this for 20yrs
@@djdanzy Ive read her book, her withdrawal was nothing too horrible. She also claims that everybody heals which is simply not true. Her sessions are terrible, all she says in those is that one will heal and thats about it.
Hi Phillip, sounds like you’re doing pretty good! Congratulations on two years off!! I’m going through some really rough waves that just keeps getting harder. I think you would make an excellent coach when you’re ready. I would love to find someone local or to call to be able to support me. I even tried going back on one of the forums, BIG MISTAKE!!! I’m 26 months off Kolonipin as you know. For the last six weeks it’s back to feeling dysfunctional, even having a hard time brushing my teeth or tying my shoes. So many twists and turns in this healing process. But I have faith and hope. Thanks for sharing your progress. I love listening to you. Keep it up ❤️🩹🐬
Hi! I am now a year off on 10 sep. It's like no hope, no window, for me, all hellish. Most of the time during this one year journey, my nervous system was not always over stimulated, but it was like I wasn't feeling anything, not connected to myself, my surroundings, even I think sometimes that am I really exist, am I the person I am faking and acting to be? I am always in a confusion state, I don't feel connected to my Memories, feel so hopeless that if I ever heal, than what is the point in living without my own memories and connection. Are our nerves damaged, or dysregulated? Will they ever heal? I have heavy head with dizziness, a fainting feeling, mostly low blood pressure, feel so blank and not grounded. I was on xanax for sleep for 18 months ( including 5 months tapering) Please help, is this normal in benzo withdrawal at one year off?
I had a lot of your symptoms. I honestly thought I would not ever get better. It was so terrifying and distressing. But I did. Cognitive issues and memory loss have taken the longest to resolve, but even those are starting to come around. As far as your question, is this normal one year off? Sadly, for many people it is. But it will get better.
@@windowsNwaves thanks for giving me hope that it will get better. I used to think that when I pass the one year off mark, I will feel near normal, but sadly , I feel as if I am getting worse. You are always so inspiring and helpful 🙏
@@windowsNwaves thanks for asking, yesterday I really felt some hope that with more time, it will get better eventually. At one year off , I see some light , but at the same time, I am scared that the good, near normal feel, that I experienced yesterday, could be a window. But with your helpful words and support , I will keep going.🙏
@windowsNwaves @windowsNwaves @windowsNwaves I stopped the 1mg of ativan now 15 weeks ago....the benzo hell lasted 11 weeks...the 12th week was like a baseball bat hit back of brain Symptoms changed from the benzo hell fire....to severe neuropathy which has now passed...to severe depression....which fluctuates...still have internal Tremors, chemical anxiety and depression......and I am at 15th week coming of a 5 month 1mg ativan for a nervous breakdown....I am only 60% better in 4 months......I still need 1 5mg of valium per day. If this did this to me of 5 months of use, I can't Imagine what it would do to someone at 1 year use, 2 years use.......it would absolutely destroy them.
@windowsNwaves there was a article how lorazapam builds a protein in the brain and takes 2 years to disappear, after stopping it...the protein creates panic attacks. A man did a video on it on TH-cam....I don't know if true...yet recent publication
@windowsNwaves @windowsNwaves @windowsNwaves I stopped the 1mg of ativan now 15 weeks ago....the benzo hell lasted 11 weeks...the 12th week was like a baseball bat hit back of brain Symptoms changed from the benzo hell fire....to severe neuropathy which has now passed...to severe depression....which fluctuates...still have internal Tremors, chemical anxiety and depression......and I am at 15th week coming of a 5 month 1mg ativan for a nervous breakdown....I am only 60% better in 4 months......I still need 1 5mg of valium per day. If this did this to me of 5 months of use, I can't Imagine what it would do to someone at 1 year use, 2 years use.
@@MrPeterISABELLA something that someone pointed out in a comment elsewhere, there is seemingly no rhyme or reason for how duration and dosage can affect people. I think you can confidently say that the longer the use, and higher the dosage the greater chance of change in brain function, more severe withdrawal etc. But then there are cases where the duration is so short and the consequences are still so dire! It's madness! And it just makes you realize how dangerous they are. I hope you find relief soon
I did at certain moments. It was usually accompanied by a stress response, palpitations, air hunger etc. But I know that some people experience this kind of sweating during benzo withdrawal independent of a stress response. Top to Bottom, benzo wd can seemingly mess with every aspect of our physical being. I
I did go off on my own. I tapered down to .5 mg for a month and then .25mg for a month. I do NOT recommend my taper scheduled (this was with Ativan). If I could do it again I would have gone much slower and switched to valium
Is it normal is a hard question to grapple with. I would say there are quite a few people that experience symptoms like this still at 8.5 months out. 9 months was the turning point for me, but for some it's 10 months.a year or longer. Hang in there. There are brighter days ahead.
Just curious if you ever had these weird allergies to food and other things pre taking benzos. When you were younger etc? Its so common thats its disturbing. Im 7yrs off. Still cant eat certain foods. Cant be around perfumes ane smells. Be CAREFUL OF ANTIBIOTICS. Acutr setbacks are very real and yep you can get akathesia even 10yrs off. The whole thing is insanity. Currently helping a friend thats 10yrs off and drank heabily one night. Now he lost his job. Has extreme akathesia terror. Pacing. Punching himself. Extreme rumination. Its inhumane and cruel. I do believe benzos make epigenetic changes in dna structure. To be still sick myself 7yrs off. Unemployed and disabled its just bullshit. Im 33yrs old. And to have a friend 10years off now back in acute. Its absurb and disturbing.
I didn't have any issues with food allergies prior to taking benzos. The only allergy I ever had in my life was penicillin, discovered as a two year old. I am indeed very wary of antibiotics. *touch wood* I have been able to avoid them entirely since getting off benzos. Hopefully I can keep it that way. It's clear that the research on benzos is inadequate. You can barely find anything on MCAS borne from benzo cessation, to say nothing of what you are proposing here in terms of DNA changes. Sending you courage and healing
Your videos are so much helpful in this frightening journey. I am 10.5 months off xanax, but still it is real hell. Actually during my use, it was causing a lot of side effects, but I couldn't understand that all the horrible symptoms are due to this so called prescription drug. During taper also, it was a pure hell, mentally and physically. Now I just want to believe that it will come to an end as time passes.
I wish you all the best at your 2 year's off.
I thought I responded to this, but I just want to say hang in there. Things will get better. My journey is one example of how things can play out. The timelines are not the same for everyone. Brighter days are ahead.
@@ranim7618 How long u have been on benzodiazapine... What the dosages was?????
LOL! My B-Day is the 8th! Totally understand the hypnic jerks. It's like getting slammed in the back by a very strong opponent. My anxiety levels are WAY down as well. My cortisol levels are normal as far as I can tell. I can sleep in almost as long as I want to.
My way to deal with acute withdrawal was to hide in my room. Especially when the cortisol ramped up in the AM. I was terrified every morning. TERRIFIED!! Over nothing.
The fact you and I made it through this without offing ourselves is a testament to our strength. We can't hide ourselves from this.
I agree with you in the fact that unless you've been through the fire, I can't really have respect for your opinion as a doctor. I think they're basically all full of ****. My own psych doc told me I didn't have akathesia. Yeah, pull the other one. He never had it so how can he dare to comment or judge?
Man if just a handful of these doctors could just have a taste of akathisia. I can't really say I wish it on anyone because of how awful it is. But I'd be lying if I didn't say it would help in their... Perspective on things.
And happy belated birthday Jim! Too funny
Hey you friend. Thanks for the update. I know Melissa. She does some coaching for me. I’ve had very similar symptoms as her. Your jerks will get better. It’s time. Hate to say that but That’s what happens. I have big cognitive problems. I totally get it. You are a rock!!!! Hope you get better soon!!!! Say hello to your family ❤P
Good to hear from you! The jerks have gotten a lot better. I hope I can say a permanent goodbye to them at some point. But yes, you are right -- it's time.
Happy birthday! ❤❤❤ and happy 2 year anniversary.
Thank you! Glad to hear you are seeing a lot of improvement ❤️
@@windowsNwaves thank you! I'm so happy to have "met" you on here. You've really helped me thru this.
I think I've been having that MCAS as well. I finally identified it as a histamine intolerance. I'm on an anti-inflammatory drug and I've read they can cause the body to stop producing the DAO enzyme that's used to break down histamines.
I started taking a DAO enzyme supplement and that has helped a lot.
DAO is certainly an important part of my arsenal as well. Glad to hear you were able to pin down the cause. That's half the battle.
I love your analogies! They are not stupid.
Ohh thank you! Glad to hear that someone else can make sense of them 😅
Great video, your analogies are awesome
Appreciate you
Merci beaucoup
Im tge same birthday to brother. July 9th 1990 . Had a window today. No anger no rage. Had 4 hours of sleep the most sins bind began. I whent for a freaking run in the rain, first time in a year.. 6 months off . Keep up the positive vibes and information from your experiences. Wishing you the best. Happy late birthday.
hah that's funny -- happy belated birthday!! I'm glad to hear about all your progress. I remember your first comment. From then until now, you have improved a lot!
😂😊🎉 thanks, brother. 💪 I appreciate the birthday wishes all you said. Your right.. I am still moving further on my goals. Even completely sober and taking responsibility for myself my life, it's still hard to live with benzos' withdrawal, Bipolar disorder ,adhd, and ptsd
Diagnosis, and yet I'm more confident than ever. Day by day, in every way, I'm getting better and better, for a quitter never wins, and a winner never quits.
Hey there, I’m two years out from a rapid taper from a longtime SSRI. Love the unhoused analogy. Thanks for the videos! Happy bday!
I’d love to hear what supplements you’re taking and your MCAS diagnosis process. I still can’t drink caffeine, but would love to enjoy a cup of regular coffee again.
This is going to be my next video I have decided. Thanks for watching.
How are you now? I also rapid taper SSRI zoloft long term use. 1 year off. Any improvments? Do you have brain pressure pain and muscle pain?
Hi, happy belated birthday! And all the best for 2 years off!
As you mentioned in this video, talking to someone who understands this frightening journey really helps us. For me watching your videos and connecting really helped me .
Now at 10 months one week off, all the symptoms are coming and going again and again. Severe head pains, weird thoughts,, very difficult to focus and read because of vision problems that occurred due to benzo withdrawal, brain fog is also very disturbing that I doubt about my own existence and reality. . Did you experience these at this point of time in your journey? Do you still feel windows and waves now?
I am just pushing myself each day.
Thank you for the birthday wishes :) Yes, I definitely still had a lot of brain fog at 10 months. And yes, I still have waves. The conditions just need to be right. For example, the day I was making this video, if I had had a sleepless night or if I had drunk alcohol the day before and then experienced that stressful morning, it could have sent me into a wave. A year ago, the conditions for a wave were less specific. They could seemingly spring up from thin air. Or I suppose it would be more accurate to say, the triggers were so subtle so as to be unnoticeable.
@@windowsNwaves thanks for replying, it helps a lot. When no one understands or wants to listen or believe, I don't find myself alone,
Thanks for being connected 🙏
4yrs off, and I’m just turning a corner. Sleep, memory, cognition (focus, task completion), and fatigue are the ones disabling me right now. No judgement, but you should cut out alcohol completely because it’s like taking a benzo every once in a while - can’t be good for a nervous system and brain that’s trying to sort itself out.
you are 100% right about alcohol. It's just about out of my life entirely, but I am coming to the realization that I cannot walk the tightrope. Trying to manage a drink every now and then is proving too difficult for me and I need to go all in. I am glad to hear you are turning a corner. Better late than never.
love
Check out baylissa. She is oldschool benzo coach. She knew prof ashton and also una corbett and Ian from the bristol tranqulizer project personally. Unfortuatley shes the only old school coach still around and has been doing this for 20yrs
Thanks a lot. I will check her out now
She is useless. Her withdrawal was a joke as well.
@@Iliketurtlezz care to explain further? I read both her books. Seemed quite severe to me?
@@Iliketurtlezz shes coached over 20k people since the late 90s. Even the severely protracted. A decade or more in sufferring that managed to heal?
@@djdanzy Ive read her book, her withdrawal was nothing too horrible. She also claims that everybody heals which is simply not true. Her sessions are terrible, all she says in those is that one will heal and thats about it.
Hi Phillip, sounds like you’re doing pretty good! Congratulations on two years off!! I’m going through some really rough waves that just keeps getting harder. I think you would make an excellent coach when you’re ready. I would love to find someone local or to call to be able to support me. I even tried going back on one of the forums, BIG MISTAKE!!! I’m 26 months off Kolonipin as you know. For the last six weeks it’s back to feeling dysfunctional, even having a hard time brushing my teeth or tying my shoes. So many twists and turns in this healing process. But I have faith and hope. Thanks for sharing your progress. I love listening to you. Keep it up ❤️🩹🐬
Good to hear from you Brenda. I'm sorry to hear about these rough 6 weeks. If you want to talk over email I'm at lifeafterbenzos@gmail.com .
❤ my best
❤️
Hi! I am now a year off on 10 sep. It's like no hope, no window, for me, all hellish. Most of the time during this one year journey, my nervous system was not always over stimulated, but it was like I wasn't feeling anything, not connected to myself, my surroundings, even I think sometimes that am I really exist, am I the person I am faking and acting to be? I am always in a confusion state, I don't feel connected to my
Memories, feel so hopeless that if I ever heal, than what is the point in living without my own memories and connection. Are our nerves damaged, or dysregulated? Will they ever heal?
I have heavy head with dizziness, a fainting feeling, mostly low blood pressure, feel so blank and not grounded. I was on xanax for sleep for 18 months ( including 5 months tapering)
Please help, is this normal in benzo withdrawal at one year off?
I had a lot of your symptoms. I honestly thought I would not ever get better. It was so terrifying and distressing. But I did. Cognitive issues and memory loss have taken the longest to resolve, but even those are starting to come around. As far as your question, is this normal one year off? Sadly, for many people it is. But it will get better.
@@windowsNwaves thanks for giving me hope that it will get better. I used to think that when I pass the one year off mark, I will feel near normal, but sadly , I feel as if I am getting worse.
You are always so inspiring and helpful 🙏
@@windowsNwaves thanks. Your response gives me hope to pull and hang on.
@@angel_2022M how have you been these past couple of days?
@@windowsNwaves thanks for asking, yesterday I really felt some hope that with more time, it will get better eventually. At one year off , I see some light , but at the same time, I am scared that the good, near normal feel, that I experienced yesterday, could be a window.
But with your helpful words and support , I will keep going.🙏
It seems to be we all take 2 years to feel OK, if we got paws......
Is this a thing?? How are you doing?
@windowsNwaves @windowsNwaves @windowsNwaves I stopped the 1mg of ativan now 15 weeks ago....the benzo hell lasted 11 weeks...the 12th week was like a baseball bat hit back of brain
Symptoms changed from the benzo hell fire....to severe neuropathy which has now passed...to severe depression....which fluctuates...still have internal Tremors, chemical anxiety and depression......and I am at 15th week coming of a 5 month 1mg ativan for a nervous breakdown....I am only 60% better in 4 months......I still need 1 5mg of valium per day. If this did this to me of 5 months of use, I can't Imagine what it would do to someone at 1 year use, 2 years use.......it would absolutely destroy them.
@windowsNwaves there was a article how lorazapam builds a protein in the brain and takes 2 years to disappear, after stopping it...the protein creates panic attacks. A man did a video on it on TH-cam....I don't know if true...yet recent publication
@windowsNwaves @windowsNwaves @windowsNwaves I stopped the 1mg of ativan now 15 weeks ago....the benzo hell lasted 11 weeks...the 12th week was like a baseball bat hit back of brain
Symptoms changed from the benzo hell fire....to severe neuropathy which has now passed...to severe depression....which fluctuates...still have internal Tremors, chemical anxiety and depression......and I am at 15th week coming of a 5 month 1mg ativan for a nervous breakdown....I am only 60% better in 4 months......I still need 1 5mg of valium per day. If this did this to me of 5 months of use, I can't Imagine what it would do to someone at 1 year use, 2 years use.
@@MrPeterISABELLA something that someone pointed out in a comment elsewhere, there is seemingly no rhyme or reason for how duration and dosage can affect people. I think you can confidently say that the longer the use, and higher the dosage the greater chance of change in brain function, more severe withdrawal etc. But then there are cases where the duration is so short and the consequences are still so dire! It's madness! And it just makes you realize how dangerous they are. I hope you find relief soon
Did you experience hyperhidrosis or excessive sweating? I sweat while I'm eating...not sure that is normal. If yes, did it subside?
I did at certain moments. It was usually accompanied by a stress response, palpitations, air hunger etc. But I know that some people experience this kind of sweating during benzo withdrawal independent of a stress response. Top to Bottom, benzo wd can seemingly mess with every aspect of our physical being. I
Did anyone loose there taste bud and smell off
@@tamihenderson4500 yesss omgosh
@@JinxTheWriter did it come back
@tamihenderson4500 yes and food tastes divine now!
@@JinxTheWriter how long did it take
@@JinxTheWriter how long did it take for it too come back
And try to smile on ur videos.. It will encourage people
Dis you go off benzos on your own? How did you stop them ?
I did go off on my own. I tapered down to .5 mg for a month and then .25mg for a month. I do NOT recommend my taper scheduled (this was with Ativan). If I could do it again I would have gone much slower and switched to valium
Happy late b day is it normal to feel like you want to escape your body 8.5 months out? And dpdr and head pain.
Is it normal is a hard question to grapple with. I would say there are quite a few people that experience symptoms like this still at 8.5 months out. 9 months was the turning point for me, but for some it's 10 months.a year or longer. Hang in there. There are brighter days ahead.
And thanks for the birthday wish :)
Just curious if you ever had these weird allergies to food and other things pre taking benzos. When you were younger etc? Its so common thats its disturbing. Im 7yrs off. Still cant eat certain foods. Cant be around perfumes ane smells.
Be CAREFUL OF ANTIBIOTICS. Acutr setbacks are very real and yep you can get akathesia even 10yrs off. The whole thing is insanity. Currently helping a friend thats 10yrs off and drank heabily one night. Now he lost his job. Has extreme akathesia terror. Pacing. Punching himself. Extreme rumination. Its inhumane and cruel.
I do believe benzos make epigenetic changes in dna structure. To be still sick myself 7yrs off. Unemployed and disabled its just bullshit. Im 33yrs old.
And to have a friend 10years off now back in acute. Its absurb and disturbing.
I didn't have any issues with food allergies prior to taking benzos. The only allergy I ever had in my life was penicillin, discovered as a two year old. I am indeed very wary of antibiotics. *touch wood* I have been able to avoid them entirely since getting off benzos. Hopefully I can keep it that way. It's clear that the research on benzos is inadequate. You can barely find anything on MCAS borne from benzo cessation, to say nothing of what you are proposing here in terms of DNA changes. Sending you courage and healing
Don't scare people... Pls
Stop watching this video.everyone is different.. Dont try to match with you in this
How long u have been on benzodiazapine... First clear it then smile and explain urs..smile need to help people’s