Dealing with clingy friends
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
- How do you say nicely to back off? Or do you? No, you don't want to hurt your friend's feelings, but you need your own life and your bff needs to gain some independence.
Marie Dubuque is a life coach who loves to give advice on everything from dating dilemmas and drama-filled friendships to tricky social situations and romantic relationships gone south! - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
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Tough love is the way to show people. They can’t get it any other way. Had explained constantly that I needed space, need to distance and focus on myself, need my privacy and they cop an attitude but oh well. People who are clingy are codependent and idolize you where it’s not comfortable. Then sometimes they flip it on you and become your enemy because of their low self esteem when you have to just cut them off. but again oh well. It’s extremely toxic and draining.
I once had a very clingy friend. I was always helpful to him because he came from abroad and was studying at my school. After tolerating the clinginess for a long time, I noticed that he started to hurl insults at me. YA. I cut that friendship off so fast and with ease like when I trimmed off a dead branch from a grapevine and hurled it into a fire pit.
Marie, I told my friend to nicely "back off", and she took it well, but two days later shes on me again...
Salt n Peppa 😭😭
Omg for reals, they think back off for a few hours then are right back in there like old times
My friend is actually quite extroverted, she has a lot of other friends but chooses to cling onto me for some reason, she also uses an annoying (and fake) high-pitched voice. I've told her that I sometimes prefer spending time alone but she just keeps bugging me.
Yo, my friend does that too! She does it to sound "cute" and every now and then when I tell her to stop doing something or to get her hands off me, she makes a whimpering sound like a dog.
Sum dood I can relate. My friend acts as if I always need a reason to be alone and not hang out with him. Whenever I don't he always begs and just annoys me. He randomly stays at my house sometimes even when I didn't say he could stay. I like him but he just is quite clingy
😂
Same. My friend has tons of friends but she texts me all day every day. I block her for a few days, until i can take texts and calls again.
I think she got a crush on u💀💀
You have no clue how much these videos mean to me. I've had a friend for almost a year now messaging me online every single day, if I'm gone for more than an hour she starts messaging me "Hi x" over and over again. I can't do anything online without her seeing me and wanting to message me... then if I ignore her or tell her I'm busy for a few days she posts stuff saying how she feels like everyone hates her and nobody wants to talk to her. Or she will start sending me messages like, I'm crying please help me. I feel choked by her, this whole year I haven't been able to do the things I enjoy doing, I stopped drawing, I stopped learning guitar, I stopped expanding my Etsy shop! I feel so awful for her because she has learning disabilities and doesn't have any other friends but I need to get her out of my life so I can live it! I've tried to ease off but she gets even more clingy and I give up, I've tried telling her we can't be friends anymore and she's guilted me into being her friend again. I was at my whits end but this video is giving me strength!!!
Hope things are better between you and this woman.
I love your voice, its so soothing! :)
I had a particular friend who was way too clingy. Her reason for being clingy was insecurity and low self-esteem (due to experiences in life, including some kind of disability), and I was "the only one who understood her." She had a few other friends too though, and a boyfriend as well. But apparently I really took the cake.
We started off with chatting online, then writing letters. For a while we also talked on the phone, which was cool…at first. But then she’d try calling and texting numerous times a day, and if I didn’t call or text her back right away (or at least within a few days) she’d get worried that I was mad at her or that something happened (and whenever we did talk on the phone, she'd talk my ear off every time). She broke her phone (therefore no more calls and texts), and I was willing to give the friendship another chance. But even without calls and texts, she’d always get worried that I was mad at her or that something happened if I didn’t write or message her frequently enough.
So yeah, that’s why I ultimately stopped keeping in touch with her, period. I loved her to death, but enough was enough.
Marie
I have this friend. She clings onto me, and won't leave. She has no social skills, at all. She's not shy. She's just really, really annoying. She's nice, but then you go to her house a few times, and she acts like you're her babysitter. She stands on my feet and tells me to walk. How am I supposed to walk with you standing on me? She bear hugs me and won't get off, even if I scream at her. So, I push her off, and she just takes it as a joke. She takes EVERYTHING as a joke. Everytime she goes past me in class, she pokes me. At lunch, she asks me for my food. And if I don't give her my food, she yells and is like, "NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA." until you give her your food. And if you STILL dont give her your food, then she grabs it and takes it. So I don't get any lunch. And. She. Will. Never. Shut. Up. I wanna tell her to go away, but I'm afraid she'll be sad because she has no friends except me. Can I write a note listing the things that she does that annoys me? Maybe tell...
her to keep her space for a while? I don't know. Anyways, thanks.
Bye!
+Derpy Tacozz hi i know you asking not me,marie.but i've been there,from my experiences,stop thinking about she might be sad.she's cotrolling you cos she knew you can't reject her.i don't think she is your real friend.toxic friends just ruin your life.i cut off my toxic friendship,after that he blame me,and call me bad friend.but to me,they were not.now i feel much better,cos
they are not in my life anymore.i know this is late,but hope you're doing ok.
Oh my god you feel me!!!!!!!!!
Well if she isn’t shy, or doesn’t have anxiety..... she’s just annoying. I have really bad anxiety so I’m clingy on the time 😂😂
I met this girl a year ago, I went to another school and my original friends that I've had for more than five years went to another one, so I was a bit nervous when I went to my new school. I met two really good friends , and a couple of more friends, but this girl always wants to be around me. She constantly grabs my hands, which I find annoying, grabs my glasses out of nowhere, and repeats my name over, and over without having nothing to say.Another thing I really hate that she does, is that she tries to distant me from my other friends, she guilt trips me when I don't talk to her. You see in the mornings I talk to my friends, and she talk to her friends that are all a year older than her so she doesn't see them a lot, and whenever they leave she's always like,"Why do you leave me? You totally ditched me back there." I honestly feel like I'm just her 'at the moment friend' and clings to me whenever her older friends are gone, at lunch she always makes me sit with her, but since I want to sit with my friends she has to tag along. My friends try to talk to her but she just nods or ignores them, I'm just really tired of her. She doesn't let me be me. Sadly, I don't have the guts to tell her that I don't want to be friends.
V A I know how you feel, I have the exact same problem. Hang in there.
Same problem here 👍🏽😓
Marie, I have had friends like this and since I have introduced them to others, I feel like I'm better off now and that they're better off as well!! Although, I have to admit it did take some time for things to pan out the way they did!!!
I met this kid at the beginning of 4th grade. From the moment we became friends he would run towards me the second we got to recess and follow me all recess long. One day I thought it had gone too far. At recess he started following me as usual but I started running. And he started chasing me. I stayed ahead of him until we got to the playground and I went on the monkey bars to try and get away from him. But he started climbing them so I left the playground surprisingly he walked away and started watching kids play games on the field. (Note: at the time he didn’t have any other friends.) “FINALLY!” I thought. Thinking it ended there. Nope! I don’t really remember what he did the next day. But one day I was reading a book at recess and he started following me and I didn’t even notice. Until I had sat down and saw him sitting next to me playing with a stick. He would always get in the way when I tried to talk with my other friends he would despretly try to get involved. I’m in 6th grade now and now what he does is if he sees me walk around the field like I always do he starts running towards me laughing. You might be thinking “well just don’t run.” I have tried that. If I don’t run he just walks around me in circles taunting and starts poking me and stuff until I run. He has teemed up with another kid and they both target me. If anyone has any suggestions plz tell me.
My friend just blocks every one away from me and will have a break down if I tell her if I tell her that I have to talk to my friend.
@Sophia Bryant I recommend you to cut her off immediately, trust me I had a friend who made me feel like everything she did was my fault I lost a ton of friends because she didint let me talk to other people and she would make a big deal about everything. Trust me you don't need toxic people in your life.
I feel the same. I try to give all kids a chance. The moment I try and tell him not to be clingy, he keeps doing it and he is rly picky with friends! I have to have another talk AGAIN about not being picky with friends and that I NEED my space sometimes to. Its very annoying and I am tired of it.
She as many other friends tho
Can you please help me? I have a friend who puts me down, but she doesn't do it in the style where she's covering it up. She does it by saying she's just being truthful and that she's entitled to her opinion. And she'll do it at anytime/ anyplace no matter who's around. If she has an opinion, she'll tell me. And ik it's good to be honest, but the things she tells me I don't want to believe are true. Because they're hurtful. And I've seen her do the same to others by saying pretty much what we're all thinking, so maybe there is a truth to what she says and I just don't want to accept it.
Drew Cash could be, but if you didn't ask for her opinion, she doesn't need to be doling it out like she does.
Won’t stop calling my phone texting and coming to my house gets angry if I ignore and asks me for things all the time. He calls me everyday and won’t stop it’s so annoying! He won’t take hints and demands attention I’m gonna have to cut loose and run I’m feeling used and drained by all the interaction
I'm clingy.... it's strange that I'm that way because I am introverted.
I have a friend who is 3 years younger than me and can be really mean and rude to people thats why she doesnt have any friends I started baby sitting her when she 4 and she was so sweet but now she's mean and comes over every day asking if I can hang out and I really dont want to but I feel really bad for her, so I usually say yes and if I dont she just goes off and crys, also when she is over she is always looking in drawers that are usually private and she doesnt even ask me she just opens my drawers right in front of me and is always asking so many questions about personal things about me. Please help
What a sweetheart you are ❤ Being kind and setting some boundaries is good
Marie....have you ever had a good friend who you would always hang out with (alone) and have a great time.......but then one day when she brings another friend along with her (a stranger to me) and then suddenly you feel like your good friend changes in a way without realizing it?
Sort of like they are bonding/laughing/ having a good time and im feeling left out and feeling awkward/ weird because i dont really click with her friend...i sort of feel like the 3rd wheel...what do i do/handle this?
sharif237 I did a video on that. A lot of times, friendships of three don't work. Two people get closer and the third person feels left out. I know this hurts, and it's OK if you want to hang out with them. But I would work on expanding your social circle. And when your friend sees you pulling away, she will probably come around.
thank you for the response Marie! your channel is my favorite channel on youtube! Thanks for the help. :)
Everyone else avoids the friend and I’m feeling isolated as a result.
Can you see the friend less and less? So don't cut that friend off just reduce contact.
BTW hope you are well and that things have improved between you and your friend. ❤
You always give great advice=).
00:25 did you just assume my gender
Greg Quintana xD
Thank goodness you have made a video about this!
sorry, but this is not good advice. they are responsible for themselves, they should not be babied around. if they have so many issues, they should go to therapy, not USE you as a crutch. once they do, you will stop being a friend or a person, and you will stay a crutch.
I did this my entire life for a close friend, until I turned 30, when I said that enough is enough. I hoped she would get better, I tried so hard to help her, to be a support so that she would be confident to go on her own, and she never did. She simply clung more tightly to me. I have ended up as a codependent and I am in therapy to relearn how to treat people like they do not depend on me. This has ruined my life so far. I used to be a healthy child with no issues, with hope for the future. Don't let anyone do to you what she did to me
What would you do if your close friend like your super close friend, doesn't come to you when their going through a hard time? And this is your super close friend, how do you deal with that sadness feeling that your friend might not trust you. How can you get over those feelings?
Ashley talk to her privately and tell her you are there for her if she ever wants to talk...and leave it at that.
If they text alot just tell them that you are reducing your social media usage and will not be texting daily.
That I find works sometimes. Its hard as you dont want to alienate them
what if the clingy friend is really sensitive and doesn't talk to anyone else even if you try to have her talk to other people. also what if she doesnt (not purposly) let u talk to other people?
My clingy friend kissed me on the cheek and claimed it was a Hispanic thing.
EDIT: She's done this to no one else.
in my case, the friend is quite extroverted but chooses to stay with me as im the only one really available
What if they are outgoing and clingy and they think they are just a social butterfly 🦋
I am 12 yrs old and I had a best friend at 7 yrs old. Then she moved to another country. But she didn't want to end our friendship, so she went back and forth during summerbreak. But this has really been annoying. She almost acts like we are sisters. She hugs me all the time, holds my hand all the time and I hate it. When she visit me I don't want to open the door and so she walks around the house shouting my name. This is disrespectful of her. Now I hate summerbreaks. Because of her.
Woww.. did it stop?
This is good advice
I know I'm kindof late, but I have a question. What if your friend is autistic? My friend is the sweetest person in the world, but I don't know if she has any other friends. I don't see her as much anymore because we're in different grades and I moved into another building, but she has my number. She will text me everyday and want to talk for hours on the phone. I feel really bad because I would always keep mishearing her and I would ask her to repeat herself multiple times. I also feel really bad when I don't feel like calling her. And because we're in different grades, I don't know how to introduce her to people. I just don't know what to do, or even if I should do anything. Help?
This won't work, my 'friend' has multiple personalities, she has the classic ' EXCESSIVE EMOTIONAL NEED TO BE CARED FOR ' IT IS futile, she calls up to 4 X a day wants 4 + hours of talk time, she whines. ' I'm lonely , I'm bored.. I want a boyfriend, ( she sits and watches TV all day) she refuses to socialize, likes to date married men, or steal men from me or other's she is a fry brain from decades of drug use, no amount of advise can make her leave me alone other then getting her mad, cause she got mad once and did not speak to me for 3 yrs a chance meeting we started talking, but that is all it is , phone talk time, she is too cheap to drive here, or take me to lunch, mooches my money if we do meet for lunch, this is the ultimate fake friend.
freedom of speech & press USA copyrighted material .
I’m the clingy one
Safia Jamison as a person with clingy friend, please stop being clingy it’s soooo annoying I can’t even tell
Please stop that shit! I completely blocked my friend because she began calling me back to back all day long
My friend I believe who has mental problems. If I tell him that he needs to back off and not call me too often he gets angry.
I have a clingy friend I’m like go sit down to do my work turn around SHES IN MY FACE so I sit somewhere else AND SHES SITTING IN MY CHAIR UGHHHHH I would just say BRUH BACK OF
Can you please help me this girl has got loads of bffs and says she will only stop annoying me if I stop being rude (Which I am not) And stop watching TH-cam videos
Lool i've come back, i've had over 3 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
what is someone is clingy for specific things but anny you and they also screwed you over big time on something that cost you a copule hundred dollars and you don't want to be their friends at all but they live across the street from you
Mary I need your help, today I completely mortified myself around someone.
Okay so here is what happened. I was playing a video game but my dad told me to invite his friend's son. I've seen his son a few times, he is 6 years old. So what happened was that when he joined the video game session, I had on the most inappropriate attire in the game, I forgot to change back to my regular clothes but before I did he left. Since he was young I bet his parents were there too. I might have just sexually embarrassed myself in front of a minor and his guardians. My dad said if something bad happens to him while we are playing, he will take away my video game. Help me what do I do, I am freaking out!!!
I'm here not for a her but for a he . ITS REALLY BAD YOU HAVE NO IDEA
Marie you are very intelligent thank you love your channel ♥️ new subscriber this helped
I dealt with that they write to me on Facebook messenger or google hangouts we met twice a guy did that to my stepmom it’s when they make the time to talk online to you
My friend has a clingy friend and he's not my friend ane he is so annoying
no i mean other people. like what your friends think. their friends.
thanks
This is a good video!My neighbour is clingy.
I had that issue myself. I told you about it in another vid.
First 20 seconds sums up my situation
how can you get rid of the fear of what other people think of you, when you talking to some one ypu like. thanks
Jas Poin think of it as a weeding out process. If this person doesn't like you, you don't want anything to do with him/her anyway! I know it takes confidence, but you will get there.
She's beautiful 💓
I just read this now because my computer was on the fritz. Thank you for your great advice!
If your the clingy one slowly go away from that friend and make them jealous or something like that and be talkative cause if your shy then you deserve to have no friends
I'm sorry but I disagree with part of this advice. If you're clingy, by all means make new friends. But being shy doesn't mean you don't deserve friends. If you're shy, start with baby steps and work hard to meet people who'd understand you.
😍😍💀😍😍
I love your channel 💖
It’s so damn annoying….I hate people
one person was clingy
What if your friend says they only want 1 friend
Amanda Houston then they gotta give u some breathing space
What if you really like this guy and he's your best friend, and you don't want to ruin your friendship, but you also don't want to hold it in. Your videos are amazing and they help me out and guide me so much! But this guy and me are different. He's literally my best friend and were extremely close, and I've completely fallen for him and so many of my girlfriends like this guy, he's mr.popular i guess you can say. Im his best friend he tells me absolutely everything. I think that if i tell him it will make things awkward and completely ruin our strong friendship. But something inside of me is telling me to tell him. But i don't want ruin everything we already have. What if he doesn't feel the same way? Some of my friends that don't like him and are really close to me think he has feelings for me to and its so hard to tell with him because he's one of those shy guys where he won't tell you if he likes you, and its actually so hard for me. Should i take the risk or no?
KarateGal978 I wouldn't share your feelings with him, because as you said, if he doesn't feel the same way, the friendship will be affected. If he likes you as more than a friend, you will know. He will go out of his way to spend time with you...more than with other people. Look for the clues, but I wouldn't push it. You might scare him away. But, by the same token, don't spend all your time with him. Let him know subtly that he is not the only one out there!
and how about if you like a guy, but everyone tells you he's a player, but u don't agree because he's so sweet to you but he also makes up a lot of excuses and lies. what should i do?
Filippa Snidare hon är så lungnande haha
Elle Lingh hur hittade du henne? hahahaha
The truth is most people will label a friend as clingy after they have finished using that friend to inflate their own ego, and are no longer of any value to them.
"Clingy" is a bullshit word for disposable friend that's not worth keeping around.
***** I've noticed most someone who get labeled clingy it happens after the other person has gotten the attention they needed from them, and have withdrew from the friendship without giving them a reason. So the "Clingy" friend is left confused thinking that they must have done something wrong. So they try their best to communicate with that other person and try to repair the friendship which the other person reacts cold and dismissive while to other people she will claim that friend as being clingy.
No not really. I literally just met this girl and she latched onto me and will not leave me alone. She won't leave me alone. I don't need an ego boost and haven't used her in any way. I've spent the past couple of weeks just trying to get rid of her.
sleepy so you said that you just met someone and then she became clingy. Just to clarify you didn't show any interest at all, but suddenly she became clingy for no reason?
I'm guessing you're extremely clingy, and unstable.
TheLegendaryBlackBeastOf Aaagh I'm guessing you're a huge troll, and enjoy taking pleasure at mocking other people's hardships. Why? Because it makes you feel better about yourself. Am I right?
What to do when your best friend gets a boyfriend and you feel lonely?
+RareFairyRaindrop I know it hurts, but this will probably happen every time she starts seeing someone new. Use this as an opportunity to expand your social circle. Really get involved in clubs and sports leagues. I know it seems daunting to put yourself out there, but you can do it!
+Marie Dubuque sadly I'm not the best social butterfly out there. As a kid, I was mostly alone in school.
+RareFairyRaindrop AHAHAHHAAA
HAHAHAAA
XDDDDDD
Hey marie, how to make my friend closer to me and tell me about her secrects and make her a closer ,Thankyouu and plz can u make a video about it
'Your Viewer' that wrote you this 'problem' for you, Marie to address is nothing more than the book title; Mean girls MEANER women.
please make a video about this how do i tell a boy that i like him and how do i know that he likes me he said that he thinks i'm hot but idk if that was a joke.......
Damn I love this woman😂