Being a childless and unmarried woman is interesting because throughout history most often were forced to marry as girls and have children without choice.
Not in middle and upper class families. They would just inherit their family's home and keep it for themselves. If they would marry, it would go to the man.
I think what we are seeing now is actually a lot of the ancestral karma being balanced on the spirit level. Today many women are making the choice that their female ancestors couldn’t make and suffered for.
I gave up trying to date period 5 yeras ago I got sick of men trying to pressure me iknto things I wasn't comfortable with. With God's help I saw that it's not my place to fill their needs but to put my focus on God and becoming better as a person, to get to know myself. I'm 42 and single and childfree! Not childless because that makes me sound like less of a person because I lack children! I dont' need a husbadn and kids to be fulfilled God is all I need. As a Christian I am fulfilled and happy! I have rough days like anyone would. Single or married women struggle!
@thezoldics7648 you probably bit the having kids is needed for everyone cookie. Seriously my grandfather was a terrible drunk abusive father. So bad his 7 kids can't talk about their child hood that much. My mom blocked out a lot and refused to share. So the idea that all men and women should want and be parents or they are selfish falls flat. There are people who are not meant to be parents. stop guilting and stop saying we're coping. You don't know me from jack. Peroid. God is my focus, not a man and not kids. There's nothing wrong with it. The pressure you talk about are all society based not set up in the Bible at all. God's word says that marraige is not for everyone.
I had a fertility check and they said, oh, doesn't look good. Got pregnant my first try at 36. Be aware of what you want, but dont let fear control you
Nutrition plays a big part in fertility. Cut down your sugar intake. Search for nutritional information about foods that improve fertility because those foods can improve overall health.
No such thing as the biological clock, only the menopause at usually 50, the concept was pushed by the Washington post to make up a story about a grieving fictional woman crying to a man about her life having no meaning because she's got no children. Anyone can find meaning with or without children and women live longer if they have children later in life, food does play a part in health as the person above mentioned. They absolutely said your fertility looks bad because they're not making money if there's nothing to fix, that's the goal for nearly all business models.
Childfree Couple here in our mid 40s and thriving! Not every woman has to birth a child in order to exist and make a difference in others lives in the world. We support children by sponsoring them in sports and education. It takes a village. You don't have to have kids in order to care about them.
same sentiment as the other comments; i will continue to do anything in my power to not bring someone else onto this planet. but man, as a 29yo experiencing periodical moments of weakness in the past few years (with literally not a single other childfree person in my modern family tree), did you resist the desire or did you never feel it?
I would see a gynecologist for the first time at age 30 and was diagnosed with endometrial polyp which caused my infertility, but I had surgery to remove them at age 31. By age 33 I gave birth to my first child.
This is encouraging. So much pressure / fear about not having 4 kids by age 30…. I see hope for women in their 30’s who do want children, just didn’t have the chance yet
@@sophiastephen3074I think it's just highER risk. Also, it's a process so I think saying every pregnancy over 30 is a risk is stupid as you don't suddenly turn all bad at 30, the risk just gets slightly higher and higher the older you get
I think another reason why women are no longer worried about the biological clock is because they don't really want so many children. One and done is more appealing these days. Usually most women can still have at least one in their late 30s and early 40s. The women who want lots of kids should probably start a little earlier to be safe.
Exactly, no one is enticed to rush in order to have only one child or two. I can see if a woman wants a lot of children, then yes you're on a more stringent timeline.
If it were that easy, fertility clinics wouldn’t have much of a business. Stop lying to yourself. You’re ability to pay someone to slightly slow the hands of the biological clock is NOT the norm.
@@Roccofan You really should have done your research before writing such a reply. If you did, you would know that age is NOT the number one cause of infertility in women and only about 9 to 12% of women under the age of 45 experience it. PCOS, endometriosis, blocked fallopian tubes, fibroids, low progesterone, and other issues can affect a women at any point in her childbearing years and are typically the main reasons a woman has trouble getting pregnant and seeks fertility treatment. Statements such as yours is also the reason why women under 35 will often ignore or not be too concerned when they are showing signs of the symptoms I listed above. They are under the impression that fertility issues only affect older women and they have nothing to worry about. Its not until they start trying and can't get pregnant that they learn the harsh truth that they are among the percent of women who most likely will never become a biological mom without the help of medical treatments.
@@MyRedmamba What’s a woman’s egg count at 23 vs 33? Does a woman have a higher or lower chance of having a child with issues the younger she is or the older she is? Does a woman have a higher likelihood of finding a husband when she’s 23 or 33? Is it best to have a child within a marriage or be a single mother? A little intellectual honesty is all I ask. A dispassionate view of biology and human nature is all I ask.
@@Roccofan I am not interested in intellectual honesty for the sake of this discussion. I am interested in biological facts. It is known that a human female develops all of the eggs she will ever have while she is still in her mother’s womb. It is a fact that as she ages, she will slowly lose eggs. It is a fact that by her mid to late 40s she will become perimenopausal and that at about 51, she will have gone through menopause and a natural pregnancy is nearly impossible. It is also a fact that a woman’s natural childbearing years are between 15 to 44 years of age. As long as the woman does not suffer from the previous list of conditions I listed to you in the first reply, she is under 35 and has unprotected sexual intercourse during the week she ovulates for at least 6 months, then the odds are in her favor she will become pregnant. If the woman is over 35, it can take a few more months because of the fact that she does have fewer eggs. If a woman if over the age of 45, and has not gone through menopause, it is still recommended that she continue to use a form of contraception if she is sexually active and does not want to become pregnant. This is because even though the odds of her becoming pregnant is very low, it is still a possibility. This possibility increases if her sexual partner is under 40. After a woman has gone through menopause, typically at some point in her early 50s, she still can become pregnant using fertility treatments. Most of the time its through using donor eggs from a younger woman. Younger woman now has the option of freezing their eggs for later use however the jury is still out on how successful that is. This is because so far, the majority of women who freeze eggs/embryos never actually get around to using them. They just become pregnant the old fashioned way while still in their 30s or early 40s.
This was a great topic to cover. I have never felt pressured by my biological clock because I grew up with a single mom and we had a really hard time. So I never had a strong desire to have kids. I am 29 now and I only feel that I will want a child if my partner/husband is worthy of me reproducing with. My dad is a terrible person so for me it will depend on if my partner/husband is a great human himself. For the women who really want children, I wish you well. I hope you all get what is best because I have seen people with kids who shouldn’t have had them. 👀
Yea this is my mentality on having kids too. I’m getting married this year and the number one factor for me on deciding on whether or not I want a child is the quality of the potential father. I also grew up with an (amazing) single mom and the struggle was real without my dad being present. I want my future kids to have an active father in their lives so my fiancé and I aim to model what a loving, high quality relationship is in our home. If I hadn’t found my fiancé and vetted him for fatherhood, having children would not be on my radar.
@@waluigisim That’s beautiful. I definitely am letting it play out how it needs to. I don’t plan on freezing eggs either. If it happens that I never meet someone to commit to and I really want a child, I will adopt. Congratulations!
It honestly depends on the person, their health, genetics etc. My aunt had all her kids in her 40s!!! First child at 41 and the other 2 at 44 and 46!!! I've witnessed plenty of women in their 20s having such a hard time with getting pregnant, still births and misscarriages. Reproduction is indeed wild like the game of bingo. Plus with this economy, you've got to have the right partner coz baby, it's not easy raising children on low finances, poor mental, physical and emotional health. Do what's right for you ladies.
I enjoyed my life in my 20s. I got married in my mid-30s and had my first child. We didn’t think we would have another one but ended up pregnant at 42. It was such an easy delivery and healing afterwards.
My mom had me at 42. I was the last one out of 3. We all try to help her and drive her around, groceries, doctors. She’s not alone. I will say it is hard for me since I’ve done majority of the care taking for her and now my brother is finally helping me with her. I’m 30 now and scared I won’t find a good partner
I don't understand this biological clock thing. You're either ready to be a parent or you're not. If you're not ready, it doesn't matter if you're able. People focus on the wrong thing
@@rosealldays Her point is having the eggs won't make you a good parent . Hence we see a lot of fertilized eggs in the foster system . Giving birth to a child is just the starting of the journey . She's probably more focused on being in a situation where she can be a good parent to a child whether biological or not .
(in the US) We definitely need more support for family planning for parents. Things like paid maternal and paternal leave should be more common. Then, we also need more affordable childcare optiona for working parents.
@@bfbmain So? Third World girls who have kids at 13. All I see is the world's self correction: renewal. Industrialized parts of the globe dwindle so that the training of new people from Third World can take up the missing load. It's not women's fault that population is in decline in developed countries, the WILL isn't there on both sides. Men don't don't want the responsibility of carrying a whole family on their back
Gezzz I used to think that being child free means you're haughty and selfish but then I'm thinking that the childcare system in America is horrible. If we had a decent childcare system then I'd understand calling women selfish and self centered for not having kids but the western climate is horrible. You can aruge that it's selfish to have kids. Ironically, men have a clock too.
What bothers me is that society acts like you chose when you have children. The truth is that many women would love to have kids but simply won't come close to being able to support a family before fertility starts to dip.
LOL. That’s why women should focus on getting a husband in their early twenties. You remember “husbands”, don’t you? No no no, not the hook up or the situation-ship, but a husband. Still doesn’t compute? Smh. Disregard. 😂😂😂
Women aren’t supposed to support families, HUSBANDS are supposed to do that. I’m sorry, did I just spray ‘patriarchy’ all over you? I should have warned you it was coming? Sorry.
@@Roccofan Yeah stupid advice when divorce rate is so high! Young women to focus solely on a man in their formative young years, get no education/trade so they can be divorced, impoverished single mothers without any money in their 30's and 40's ...Or trapped in horrible relationships they can't leave? NO THANKS
@@Roccofan First, most men do not want to merry until mid thirties. Second, the divoce rates are very high and most men do not want to settle until mid thirties. More than 50% marriages do divorce. The child support from the missing parent (usually father) is ridiculous. Childhood in single mother household is not easy, even when the woman does have a decent job and income. Not everybody has the luxury of their (grand)parent's support. I personally do not see hookup girls around me. Mos of them want to have a family. But its really hard to find a man who wants it also in some reasonable timescale. Plus add education. Women now do study longer to get better prospects in their life, of course for their future children.
I never felt pressured by my biological clock. I grew up with an adopted sibling and for me parenthood was never strictly linked to pregnancy. I always wanted to be a mother, but I also always was prepared to raise children that had been abandoned or lost their family.
I know a woman who tried for years without success and when she finally accepted that she’ll never have children and made peace with it, she had her first child at 53! All naturally!
That story means all woman should hold off having kids until 44 and they won’t have any trouble conceiving! Actually Women in their late 30s and 40s have a higher percentage of abnormal eggs than younger women, and so it’s more likely that the one egg released each month will be abnormal. This is why natural fertility declines with age, and why infertility, miscarriage and genetic disorders are more commonly seen with women over 35.Up to 35 years old, about 70% of your eggs are chromosomally normal, which then decreases to about 50%, and by the time you reach 40 you can expect about 10-15 % of your eggs to be chromosomally normal. Once an egg becomes abnormal, this can’t be reversed and egg quality can’t be improved. Fertility clinic REQUIRE women over 40 to use donor eggs because the risk of chromosomal abnormalities is so high.
@@neverstop2493I was 42 when I had my last baby and she is a super healthy baby. Also, one of the OB-GYN in my doctor’s office was 42. She was healthy as well.
All these people harrassing women for hitting the wall or losing their fertility IMO should instead focus on getting babies that are already born to grow in the best conditions and support system. So many kids are born into abusive or neglectful parents, or becoming wards of state that is also prone to situations of abuse and neglect. It is the highest hypocrisy to badger women who are minding their own business about their as-of-yet unborn children while turning a blind eye on the ones already here who are living in deplorable circumstances. I myself am a childless woman of a "certain age" and I just roll my eyes when relatives ask me about when I will have children. I am not even in a relationship and I don't see myself getting married anytime soon. I think until society gives the same scrutiny and effort to unfortunate children, they should leave me and my empty womb the eff alone.
I'm sorry ladies but egg-freezing is not a good option as the success rates are low. I think women should learn to be okay with not mothering someone, and if not, well then adoption and fostering is a very beneficial option for society. Also, embracing the freedom of being childfree is also an option, and trust me it is GREAT :)
I'm child-free by choice and I second your message 👍 I'd also add that freezing eggs is not free - many women simply don't have multiple thousands of dollars available to pay for this procedure. It's not a feasible option for everyone.
@@marad786 Exactly! I would hate to see hard-working ladies go into debt for that when motherhood is not necessary and is just overhyped by the pro-natalist cult.
Absolutely agree. 4 of my friends have done egg freezing and have just wasted a heap of money.. plus they have to have the cost for the IVF treatment once they're ready for getting pregnant.
@@marad786I’m with you. I’m a mom, but since I had my baby a little later in life, egg freezing was always on the periphery of my mind. Clinics do not have to share their success rates. Its really important for women to know it’s no sure thing and the enormous costs of egg retrieval, keeping them frozen, etc.
Another perspective I have is that we in our western society define mother/mothering in a very limited way that doesn't take into account our communalism. A woman that gives to her community was traditionally seen as a mother figure, but now we restrict mother to the biological children we rear. Even adoptive mothers aren't always seen in the same vein.
I'm still healing from my past, turning 30 in a few months and in a loving relationship, but won't have kids until I know I can be the mum I've always wanted to be. I'd also be happy to adopt or foster, coming to that decision took a lot of the pressure off in terms of not needing to worry about a biological clock (because egg freezing is no guarantee).
I’m turning 30 and I don’t care to have children at this moment. I’m the first daughter in my family and I grew up raising my siblings. This has made me feel it’s exhausting, emotionally, mentally and psychologically draining. I am aware it’s a trauma response but it’s my personal journey as well.
I think that another point to add to this conversation is the fact that, though women have been considered useless after they are no longer fertile, that's incredibly far from the truth. Older women have more knowledge and experience with pregnancies, motherhood, etc. and gradmas can help take care of children. And these are only two examples related to motherhood, but there are a ton other things older women can do. I don't remember exactly where I read this, but someone actually said that women being no lenger fertile past a certain age is an evolutionary mechanism to protect us (because childbirth is dangerous, it can come with tons of complications and side issues and mortality rates ARE still high in many countries) in order to preserve our knowledge which, at a certain point, is arguably much more valuable for society than giving birth to more children.
I want to adopt, Im very firm on that becayse childbirth is terrifying to me. It annoys me that people in the world think that im not "fulfilling my purpose" because im choosing to never birth a child.
Studies show that pregnancy biologically ages woman up to 11yrs. This is outside of the trauma of labor. During labor, you are 300% closer to death. There is no reason for you to desire pregnancy or giving birth. You sound like you get the reality of pregnancy before even being pregnant. 👍
I hope artificial gestation is perfected soon enough to help you and the millions of other women in the same situation. Whether or not you decide to take the risk, I wish you the best.
my purpose is to not be a parent because I would not do well. My health situations make it impossible anyways. So why should I let myself be pressured? I'm not going to settle down with a husband either. I'm not angry or sad or nothing like that. I don't hate men I just do not feel the urge to settle down. I've always been confident and indepedant and knew who I was for the most part. I'm not some over bearing unkind woman. I've thought this through for years now. I'm 42 and I'm still single and still happy! I am childfree not childless. It makes you seem like you are 'less" which is why it's used to pressure us.
At 29 I have more freedom, money, peace and opportunities than ever. I could not care less about having children or getting married. Can't wait to enjoy my thirties
Great, enjoy yourself. I only ask one thing, please don’t f around, change your thinking in a few years and then start calling ‘all men’ trash because you fumbled your biological and dating/mating ball. Thanks.
awesome right? Going against the grain makes me happier as well. I'm tired of the dating drama and I don't want to have a baby. After much time and relfection I've come to that with peace. The facts are that as a woman you need to be careful what men you let in your life. It's dangerous how many just think of us as good for sex, food, and babies.
I'm a 30 year old stay at home mom of three and I feel lucky that I am living the life of my dreams. I hope every woman is able to achieve her dreams no matter what they are
@@13579hee when I saw my husband he was so commanding and strong looking and had a beautiful smile. When I got to know him I found out he had been working nonstop since he was 16 and was currently managing a retail store. He wasn't rich but I knew that he was hard working and would one day be very successful. I wanted to help him achieve his goals and support him. We started out in a 1 bedroom empty apartment and ate eggs and noodles for a couple of years. We were so happy. Hr got a very good job after out 1st son was born and he has been climbing the ladder ever since. We own a home now from his hard work! When choosing a husband choose a man with good morals, dedication and values because those qualites birth success and wealth. He might now be rich when you meet him but you can help him become so with your beliefe and trust in him
I feel happy for you. I‘m 21 years old and currently studying econ. I don’t know what my dream live looks like. This makes me a bit insecure. I want to focus on my carreer and maybe not have children. Being the cool rich aunt seems nice to me. But I feel like, I would be open to having kids when I felt financially stable and in a stable relationship. I‘m lesbian, never had a girlfriend though. So, this really is an open chapter and I don’t know in which direction it goes.
Thank you for supporting all women because I"m tired of being pressured. I thought it through and really reflected over it this wasn't a flip idea. I tried to date but seriously there was 1 good man I found but there was no attraction or love for him beyond friendship. :( The rest weren't good. At 37 I finally realized that I was miserablet rying to live someone elses dream. So I did the healthy thing for myself and walked away. It's not selfish to do this, it took much relfection like I said. I think it's great that you get to be a wife and mom and I wish you the best. I'm not someone who hates on house wifes. I think it's great for you, jus tlike being single and child free is great for me. We need dif things and that is ok. Not according to the world right? Ugh! Womne should have the chioce it's their life.
Honestly, having kids is just a huge down in a woman's career. So I'm just not interested in loosing everything to fulfill a role I don't even aspire to.
All women do for improvement, betterment, healing, etc. Not just for themselves but also for all. It was still offensive. Women was never appreciated for the efforts, it was the mistakes of women they recall. If men had mistakes, men acknowledged and highly appreciated their efforts to be better. They believe that self love and self care of women are purely selfish, self centered, and self entitled. If men had self love and self care it was perceived as a good thing. All about women are always offensive and all about men are always perceived as educationial. No wonder the percentage of Depression, low self confidence, and Low self esteem was extremely higher on women. Then have audacity to say that women are just playing victim. 😒😏
ROFL My grandmother on mom's side had 7 kids, my mother had 4 and I've chosen for my own reasons to not get married or have kids. There is nothing selfish in my reasons and I found joy once I let go of hte rpessure. It has nothing to do wiht God's will when it comes to marriage. Also why do I owe it to a man to get married so he can function happier? That sounds like the thoughts of hte past. IT's sad that more women in the world do not get free choice.
I don't care what the society says, I just don't want any kid. Why would I do something that doesn't make my life easier? It's simple as that. Life is hard enough as it is, the rest of the time, I just want to enjoy, treat myself well. The world is obviously designed in a way that the top tier elites get to do whatever they want and enjoy their life the way they want, but for the vast majorities, we are expected to obey the rules of religions, society, and be enslaved, so that the elites continue being elites.
As a man hearing this from a woman... It makes much more sense than the overbearing "alpha" males on the manosphere that blames feminism and women being sluts and career women.... I totally agree with your sentiment on the living costs, i definitely would be able to afford a family, support my woman and kids financially if the conditions we're in were easier plus government incentives... But they arent enough for how we living
That is because most of those movements are designed to exploit men for right-wing political gain. Both men and women are getting screwed. It doesn’t do either men nor women to bet pitted against each other.
I am a single woman in my mid-30s and I did go to a fertility clinic 2 years ago to get my fertility health checked out. The recommendation was that I should freeze my eggs asap, but the process itself could cost upto $10K and the medication can apparently cost anywhere between $3K-$8. Yusra, I'd be curious to know what numbers were shared with you. Anyways, I can't afford that shit, at least not while I am a PhD student. So yeah, I might be 38 by the time I can even afford to have my eggs frozen and this lady on the tik tok you shared is now saying that might not even work. I guess if the government is worried about declining fertility rate, they can subsidize egg freezing, but I doubt they will.
This is exactly my situation. I'm a PhD student but in my mid 30's and I cannot imagine affording eggs freezing at all. I got my AMH done and the doc said my eggs and ovaries are healthy and normal. But I cannot afford a child or egg freezing.
Right but ya that's not gonna happen any time soon! It sucks for those who want to be parents. I think drs can get greedy when it's the fertilifty thing. Like they know you have no choice.
This was an excellent video! I thank u for sharing. Noone told me this when I was younger. I focused on my career and stacking degrees. I got married at 39 and although I got pregnant 3 times over 3 years could never carry to term. It was then I was educated about how our eggs age and fertility rates dropped. The key thing I kept getting told was I should have frozen my eggs when I was younger.
I think men and women should live the way they want. However, they should understand that there will be consequences that accompany their decisions. That leads to these questions: 1. Have l done a side-by-side comparison of the outcomes of decisions ahead of me? 2. Can l bear the long term consequences of the things l want to do? Just something to consider....
Thank you for covering this topic!! I don't think I had really thought about this aspect of my life practically outside of feeling the backbreaking pressure to find someone and settle down before I "expire". So few women really have this conversation, particularly that of going to a gynecologist, understanding your own biology, and just how empowering it can be to gain control of one's own agency. In countries like Pakistan, going to gynecologist before you get married for any reason is a taboo!! It's so frustrating. We've still got a long way to go, which just adds to the urgency of having these conversations.
I love kids but would not want to bring a child into this unstable and unpredictable world. There are enough kids who are already born, who need loving parents.. so my partner and I will seek to foster and/or adopt once we reach a point where we can responsibly parent a kid (once we are mentally and financially able to).
I think the “incentive” for having children has to be the children themselves. Yes, it’s really expensive and time consuming to raise children, and it always has been. Some countries are better at supporting new moms (6 months of maternity leave!!) but that’s not the US. It stinks, but there are things in this life worth giving 110%. Before I had my baby, I couldn’t fathom how it would feel to be a mom. I couldn’t imagine taking a break from my career and being a stay at home mom. I couldn’t imagine the joy of seeing a tiny human grow and learn. I couldn’t imagine how difficult yet rewarding it would be to support her in overcoming challenges. Not every woman feels this way. It’s a struggle that is unique to each woman. Still, I guess the stone cold realist in me would say to anyone who thinks they want a child (or more than one) take an active role in assessing your fertility. Yes, age is a factor but there are others as well. I never felt baby fever, but now that I’m a mom, I realize that because I had no idea how motherhood would feel. There’s really no way to know. It’s a leap of faith.
Women have spoken glowingly about having children throughout time, even when they were literal slaves. It’s nice that women can still stay positive even when 70% of marriages end in divorce. The odds are against every couple, yet women are so positive.
It sure has an expiry day. But I am happier with my choice to have stayed child free so far instead of being tied to a deadbeat father of the child. I have not found the partner who would be fit for the job. As painful as the decision is, it is better that way.
> Live in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment because that's all you can afford > You and your partner live paycheck to paycheck even though you both have full-time jobs and have gone to college > You struggle with mental health issues and your partner struggles with extreme stress, WITHOUT kids > WhY AreN't YoU HAViNg KiDs??????
You are hitting and raising so many points. It can be hard enough to build a life and living for yourself. Finding a partner can take years. Plus the biological clock. It is so much to think about and pan for. I support us women doing what we want for ourselves.
Mmmh I’m lucky to live in the first ever era throughout human history when I can live on my own, travel without anyone’s permission, make good money and keep it, choose to have sex or not, marry or not, have children or not, choose what religion appeals most to me (or none!), what I want to do with my time, what skills I can master. I am thinking of all the millions women of the past, and, unfortunately, the present, who had never had a tenth of my freedom in their lives, who were basically sacrificed for the prosperity of the upper classes who benefited off their fertility and submissiveness, and I’m like - nah. Thanks. I’ll have mu kids if I want and when I want, and if I won’t be able to, I’ll adopt and love them unconditionally. No biological clock or social pressure can have a hold on me.
I’m 30 and I got my fertility checked because I’m actually considering becoming a Choice Mom if I’m not married & on the path to have children by 35 ☺️ I used a Modern Fertility kit that was only $150 and they did all the blood tests and provided results with a ton of education 👌🏾 All my results came back normal and typical for my age (thank goodness!) and that really took a lot of stress off 💯
Both my grandmothers had their last babies at 42 & 43. They lived well into their 80s. Some women experience unexplained infertility in their 20s. You never know how your journey with motherhood is gonna go. It could be easier or more complicated than you thought. Know your history, know your health, plan accordingly.
I studied somputer science and earn 36k where i live. The housing is here relatively cheap compared to city's, where an average house costs around half a mill. Even with a good degree and my partner and me both working fulltime, we are nowhere close to being able to afford it. And then the society wants us to have kids, which will cost us 6k/year for the daycare alone. What a joke
As someone who would love to have 2 kids in a few years, it stresses me out and saddens me that our world, especially men, legitimately give 0 incentive for women to have children.
I don’t intended to have kids but I find it so puzzling how the rumour that women can’t have children over 30 got started all the women in my family had kids late thirty early 40 and healthy babies
I am childfree and just retired early. I would not have been able to do that if I had kids. I own my own home and travel abroad. Again, non of that would be possible if I had kids.
This is a great video, I agree families need more support to properly and lovingly raise children. I am 27 and was able to conceive right away and I know it’s a blessing. I truly relied on God to bless my family and my body to have kids. There are days I worry about having everything perfect however, I do have a full time job and Registered Nurse and my boyfriend works 2 full time jobs as well. It depends on your circumstances for sure, I just want to remind anyone who read this to please remember God is in control no matter what appears to be in the flesh….
Well damn, I just turned 30 and 2:50 hit like a train, cuz do I can't hear that enough from everyone. And I'm still MEHHH on the kids or even marriage. If I meet my kind of guy, I see it maybe, but I would not cry at 40 If none happened, you know. People around me doesn't seem to think that is a right kind of thinking.
I’m commenting because your not pushed to me enough… that’s probably my fault for not commenting or interacting enough. But I love your perspective and I appreciate your input! You beautiful lady you! Thank you for your views!
This is so on point! Governments and states give subsidies and bailouts left and right to big business but don't make an effort to pay mothers for one of the hardest and most important job there is. The societies are build around worshipping the masculine ideal of striving for big money, power, dominance, but women who chose to be nurturing or dedicate their time to being SAHM or work in care sector are robbed of their financial independence, respect, appreciation. Of course we strive to distance ourselves from the labor that gets us next to nothing, no money and no status, no protection and no recognition. I don't know what kind of policies we need to adapt to flip the tide but until there's a deep change in our system of values the fertility rates aren't going up. Unless we really understand the importance and responsibility and dedication of care, not just for child but for elders, family and community, it will be super miserable. Maybe don't punish women who chose to be mothers for their choice every day, the we'll speak.
I would like to have more children. I have one, but I am concerned that I won’t be able to maintain a good quality of life for my family if I have more. I’m still trying though for almost 2 years. I’m 38 now and it certainly is more difficult. I got pregnant at 27 and I wasn’t even trying.
I was advised to go check it out when i was 27, mostly because i've had some medical concerns while i was a toddler. When I visited the cabinet the fertility doctor said that nothing was out of the ordinary, but the main reason for me to visit him was that i heard that someone with my medical history could have her fertility affected to be as high as a 7 year older woman(so when i was 27 then it suggested my odds were as a 34 year old would have). So I freaked out, visited him and ever since it has been like a looming fear in my future which caused a lot of anxiety. Like you I wanted to have my own two feet firmly to the ground, some career to fall back to and to find a partner not just a "sperm donor for a season". Long story short, I did 2 rounds of egg freezing and now Ihave some sort of alleviation of that anxiety, but still the partner part is now the important question because plan A is still to try have children the natural way. Until this moment I'm just gonna chill and as of now I'm enrolling again to do a Masters degree and take every day, month and year as it comes. Thank you for discussing this topic so level-headedly!
I hope that advances in artificial gestation will increase your options even further. Thanks to your good planning you will be one of the few people can “have it all.” I hope you have a long and happy life with as many children as you desire.
If you are lucky, you will find someone to spend your life with and have children young. I’m very fortunate as I got what I wanted. It doesn’t happen for everyone. The dating pool dwindles. Everyone does not want to be parents.
I’m glad you’re talking about this. It’s such a complicated discussion. I feel that society fails on both fronts: both telling us our time is limited while also not being realistic about what that timing actually looks like. For every friend I know who had a baby in her 40s, I have another who tried and failed to have any in her 30s. Everyone gave me a hard time for getting married at 22, to a guy younger than me. It took us FOUR YEARS and THREE pregnancies to get one live birth. I’m now 31 and 7 months pregnant with #3. I’m also SO glad we didn’t wait any longer to start our family. We spent our 20s having kids and focusing on his career. I’ve been easing back into the workforce for the last year, as each of our kids start preschool, and am using my education and already matching my husband’s salary. This is my decade and I don’t feel as far behind as I thought I would after taking a break. I’m glad I focused on building a family first. Every pregnancy has been harder and I’m glad I’m not any older. Now we have our kids and my husband and I are each working our dream jobs and I’m glad we ignored the skeptics. We have a mortgage and otherwise are on track to be debt-free in the next two years. All I can say is that the economy changes and there are many aspects of your career out of your control. However, if children are a priority to you, prioritize them, even if it means living more modestly than you want to for a few years.
thanks! ❤ ❤ you said everything I think... it's so sad that the government doesn't understand what it gains by helping women and couples to have a healthier environment to have children. personally I want to have a child but I don't because I'm not financially comfortable to feel confident about having a child, but at the same time I have the conflict of having a disease that hinders fertility putting pressure on me even more.
I am 33 and I got my amh test done and my results was actually amazing my doctor said I have the amh levels of a l typical 25 year old I can have a healthy pregnancy even after my mid 30s also I do take my vitamins everyday and I work out I don’t drink alcohol and I don’t smoke I also don’t party so ladies please take care of your body it’s super important especially as you get older also look up vitamins that help with fertility as well you will be surprised how much it helps.
Who can afford to freeze eggs? As someone who is Pakistani and still trying to stabilise myself in my mid 30's in a foreign country while having dealt with numerous cultural impositions a decade ago- I think only people who can afford it get their eggs frozen. Not everyone can do that. It doesn’t cater to everyone. I got my AMH done and the doc said i have healthy and normal eggs but i dont even know what to do with that info b/c i cannot afford a child or their needs. My mother had children up to 40 years.
This "biological clock" is not quite right. I know a lot of women after 35 who got pregnant. A funny thing happened to me when I was almost 49. I was in a hospital and trying to do an x-ray and the nurse came in and said that we need to do a pregnancy test. I thought she was talking with the wrong patient and told her that and that I'm almost 49 and with no chance to be pregnant, and she said that is the rule, we have to be at least 50 for them to not do the pregnancy test, because they had several cases of pregnancies with women just under 50, and some even over 50. I guess it depends on our health and genetics. I am not saying that every woman can get pregnant at that age but that there is a possibility. But in your 30's as a woman the clock is definitely NOT ticking!
@@wpatrickw2012That’s true, but not to the extent that people claim and not at the same point. The risks are only really relevant in your lates 30s and beyond 40. Most women in their early or even mid 30s won’t have much trouble.
It's crazy because little act like old people don't have saggy skin, most times they have difficulty walking and being able to do everyday tasks, this isn't to insult them, but how are you going to say older men are so strong and fertile, when they can't even walk. It isn't gender specific this is why older people need nurses or people to help them. I don't understand where people are coming from. Older men are expected to have more money than younger men but it isn't always true
8:30 in the country I live in, there are thousands of financial incentives to have children. Subsidized daycare, free schools paid for by taxes of people with or without children, child tax credits, baby bonus, the list is almost endless. And the welfare paid to single mothers who are unwilling to work, is pretty decent. Where the real incentive is sadly, is for a woman with children to divorce and sue husband for support. In Canada, she will almost always see an increase in her standard of living after a split. What's backfiring as a result is young men's unwillingness to marry
I had a lot of tests made (from blood, genetics, etc) a few years ago (and again recently), and every doctor says my results are perfect, but I still can’t get pregnant for 2 years now… unfortunately you just never know, now I wish we started trying earlier (I’m 32 now)
It depends on you AMH level. Women should not believe they won’t have difficulty conceiving after 35. If your AMH is low it’s all over. It’s not misogyny it’s science
@Liliya1chance What is your source for this? Women are born with a finite number of eggs that degrade over time. Women in their late 30s and 40s have a higher percentage of abnormal eggs than younger women, and so it’s more likely that the one egg released each month will be abnormal. This is why natural fertility declines with age, and why infertility, miscarriage and genetic disorders are more commonly seen with women over 35.Up to 35 years old, about 70% of your eggs are chromosomally normal, which then decreases to about 50%, and by the time you reach 40 you can expect about 10-15 % of your eggs to be chromosomally normal. Once an egg becomes abnormal, this can’t be reversed and egg quality can’t be improved. Fertility clinic REQUIRE women over 40 to use donor eggs because the risk of chromosomal abnormalities is so high. How can a woman not know this? Just Google “egg chromosomal abnormalities by age” I really need to invest in cryogenics if you are typical.
@nataliakrumova535 200,000 years of evolutionary psychology, mammalian mating behavior, the biological imperative and continuation of the species mean most men find younger highly fertile women much more attractive than women 35 and older who are much less fertile. Science does not care how you perceive the world.
Why do we need so many people in the world? I live in CA so that colors my opinion. We are living in a time where there isn’t enough space for houses with a yard, young families cannot afford to live in a good safe area, so they are taken by buses to schools in areas with more resources because families can’t afford to live there. There is so much homelessness. We are running out of funeral lots… When I hear populations are going down I imagine this next generation will have more job opportunities and housing prices will go down because there is not much competition. Traffic control and pollution will go down. Can we leave more space for animals and nature to live? That would be great! Instead of relying on our children to take care of us when we are old (which is not guaranteed) having more comprehensive social programs instead.
This is the advice I give my younger sisters... Have your children young. Why would you pay a fortune to freeze some eggs that are produced naturally for so long?... Even if you want 4 kids, you only need 4 eggs! So do it while you're young and healthy. Then go to work. It will be hard, you will be dependant and poor but if you make it, you'll have a job and children.
@@LuckyLucky-yh7xd It's my opinion. And understand it before yelling none sense. After you gt your masters degree, and have a boyfriend, not some guy you're hanging out with. Have your baby. Then look for work and start your career. It won't be easy but it will allow you to reach 30 and not have a ticking clock over your head. That's all.
Not even sure why they are surprised that families have less kids. Before, men were able to provide for a whole family, now the women are forced to work to. Who is going to raise the child? Society? Why even bother making kids if both parents dont have time to spend with the child?
Life is a series of choices and compromises. You can’t have everything. This applies to men as well. Almost all men are not able to attain success within a 40 hour week, clock out at 5, and attend every youth sporting event and recital. As time goes by, doors close behind you. Some options are eliminated, some dreams aren’t going to come true.
The thing is that in all societies, it’s necessary to have people who can barely make a living and are basically slaves with allowance. But now in this society, we have less of that absolutely terrible poverty class, which means that the struggle bleeds in and is shared across the middle class. Before, it didn’t matter whether you were dead poor, you still pretty much had to have kids, because of the social pressure and lack of contraception. Now, people only have children if they want to, and not many would choose to fall in the social hierarchy and live in more poverty just to have a child.
There's always a blindspot in people's healthcare that we don't consider and need to consult those specialists to see their options instead of just the general A or B conversation, and this conversation includes the scope of abortions i think with having control over your health and people needing to recognize it is an important step in helping children grow in a space they feel wanted along with government help with child care to help out those that do but sadly there is more intentional hypocrites out there grifting in politics then caring for our men and women. great video!
actually if you don't look at the size of human population, from economic stability point of view, but from what planet Earth can handle point of view, you would quickly realize the problem is the human overpopulation for her, for us, especially for western sovieties, it gets more complicated, but the total amount of people on our planet is constantly growing so it has to stabilise at some point
Women are the best at reproduction because they’re the only ones who can. It’s no competition there lol, it’s not that that’s all you’re good at, it’s that you’re literally born and your natural body is capable of reproducing. It would be a different story if both sexes had to manufacture their way in to it, but no, women have a natural advantage to this. 2:43
Well all throughout history there was no contraception women had children in their 20 30 40 and sometimes 50 . It is now that with contraception people are actively choosing not to
This is a great video explaining the situation. I teach young men that this is a good thing. We no longer have to be the provider and protector. We don't have anymore responsibilities and pressures. We are free now and we don't even know it. We no longer have to slave to feed a family. This has to be talked about and celebrated more. I teach them to never ask women out and certainly never pay. They have careers and good paying jobs. They can provide for themselves.
Wow some of these comments interesting that the ones making horrible comments about those who want children are from women 2nd not wanting kids is fine I have family members who it wasn't for them but I have never seen them come across as bitter as some on here are 3rd interesting to see people using extreme reactions on people saying you are better trying in 20s rather then leaving it late yes some have kids later but it's not common yes try freezing your eggs but it is far from a good chance and also stop pretending abuse is common you can find a partner who won't don't blame others if you didn't try
Being a childless and unmarried woman is interesting because throughout history most often were forced to marry as girls and have children without choice.
Not in middle and upper class families. They would just inherit their family's home and keep it for themselves. If they would marry, it would go to the man.
I think what we are seeing now is actually a lot of the ancestral karma being balanced on the spirit level. Today many women are making the choice that their female ancestors couldn’t make and suffered for.
@nicolem5626 women got the house only if there were no other males in the line of heritance.
I gave up trying to date period 5 yeras ago I got sick of men trying to pressure me iknto things I wasn't comfortable with. With God's help I saw that it's not my place to fill their needs but to put my focus on God and becoming better as a person, to get to know myself. I'm 42 and single and childfree! Not childless because that makes me sound like less of a person because I lack children!
I dont' need a husbadn and kids to be fulfilled God is all I need. As a Christian I am fulfilled and happy! I have rough days like anyone would. Single or married women struggle!
@thezoldics7648 you probably bit the having kids is needed for everyone cookie. Seriously my grandfather was a terrible drunk abusive father. So bad his 7 kids can't talk about their child hood that much. My mom blocked out a lot and refused to share. So the idea that all men and women should want and be parents or they are selfish falls flat. There are people who are not meant to be parents.
stop guilting and stop saying we're coping. You don't know me from jack. Peroid. God is my focus, not a man and not kids. There's nothing wrong with it. The pressure you talk about are all society based not set up in the Bible at all. God's word says that marraige is not for everyone.
Adoption is possible at nearly any age. Being childfree is also an option.
But they don't allow everyone to adopt... I know loads of agency's has opened it up more n more but it's still restrictive
@@BlackTable0021 I personally have no interest in adopting, but single adults can adopt.
I had a fertility check and they said, oh, doesn't look good. Got pregnant my first try at 36. Be aware of what you want, but dont let fear control you
When did you went for fertility check? 😯
Nutrition plays a big part in fertility. Cut down your sugar intake. Search for nutritional information about foods that improve fertility because those foods can improve overall health.
No such thing as the biological clock, only the menopause at usually 50, the concept was pushed by the Washington post to make up a story about a grieving fictional woman crying to a man about her life having no meaning because she's got no children. Anyone can find meaning with or without children and women live longer if they have children later in life, food does play a part in health as the person above mentioned. They absolutely said your fertility looks bad because they're not making money if there's nothing to fix, that's the goal for nearly all business models.
This makes me feel better
@@kaira4047 I did it around age 34
Childfree Couple here in our mid 40s and thriving! Not every woman has to birth a child in order to exist and make a difference in others lives in the world. We support children by sponsoring them in sports and education. It takes a village. You don't have to have kids in order to care about them.
This will prob be my husband and I. I appreciate this comment to see that is okay and to not feel guilty
this is what im planning to do!! thank u
same sentiment as the other comments; i will continue to do anything in my power to not bring someone else onto this planet. but man, as a 29yo experiencing periodical moments of weakness in the past few years (with literally not a single other childfree person in my modern family tree), did you resist the desire or did you never feel it?
@@yestolife1847what is your point? Some people want them and some don’t.
@@yestolife1847 ok. Try not to worry about it. If you want a baby, go get pregnant or adopt one.
I would see a gynecologist for the first time at age 30 and was diagnosed with endometrial polyp which caused my infertility, but I had surgery to remove them at age 31. By age 33 I gave birth to my first child.
🤍
GOOD
This is encouraging. So much pressure / fear about not having 4 kids by age 30…. I see hope for women in their 30’s who do want children, just didn’t have the chance yet
@@melc4308 but doctors says carrying babies in your 30s and above are high risk pregnancies
@@sophiastephen3074I think it's just highER risk. Also, it's a process so I think saying every pregnancy over 30 is a risk is stupid as you don't suddenly turn all bad at 30, the risk just gets slightly higher and higher the older you get
I think another reason why women are no longer worried about the biological clock is because they don't really want so many children. One and done is more appealing these days. Usually most women can still have at least one in their late 30s and early 40s. The women who want lots of kids should probably start a little earlier to be safe.
Exactly, no one is enticed to rush in order to have only one child or two. I can see if a woman wants a lot of children, then yes you're on a more stringent timeline.
If it were that easy, fertility clinics wouldn’t have much of a business. Stop lying to yourself. You’re ability to pay someone to slightly slow the hands of the biological clock is NOT the norm.
@@Roccofan You really should have done your research before writing such a reply. If you did, you would know that age is NOT the number one cause of infertility in women and only about 9 to 12% of women under the age of 45 experience it. PCOS, endometriosis, blocked fallopian tubes, fibroids, low progesterone, and other issues can affect a women at any point in her childbearing years and are typically the main reasons a woman has trouble getting pregnant and seeks fertility treatment. Statements such as yours is also the reason why women under 35 will often ignore or not be too concerned when they are showing signs of the symptoms I listed above. They are under the impression that fertility issues only affect older women and they have nothing to worry about. Its not until they start trying and can't get pregnant that they learn the harsh truth that they are among the percent of women who most likely will never become a biological mom without the help of medical treatments.
@@MyRedmamba What’s a woman’s egg count at 23 vs 33? Does a woman have a higher or lower chance of having a child with issues the younger she is or the older she is? Does a woman have a higher likelihood of finding a husband when she’s 23 or 33? Is it best to have a child within a marriage or be a single mother?
A little intellectual honesty is all I ask. A dispassionate view of biology and human nature is all I ask.
@@Roccofan I am not interested in intellectual honesty for the sake of this discussion. I am interested in biological facts. It is known that a human female develops all of the eggs she will ever have while she is still in her mother’s womb. It is a fact that as she ages, she will slowly lose eggs. It is a fact that by her mid to late 40s she will become perimenopausal and that at about 51, she will have gone through menopause and a natural pregnancy is nearly impossible.
It is also a fact that a woman’s natural childbearing years are between 15 to 44 years of age. As long as the woman does not suffer from the previous list of conditions I listed to you in the first reply, she is under 35 and has unprotected sexual intercourse during the week she ovulates for at least 6 months, then the odds are in her favor she will become pregnant. If the woman is over 35, it can take a few more months because of the fact that she does have fewer eggs.
If a woman if over the age of 45, and has not gone through menopause, it is still recommended that she continue to use a form of contraception if she is sexually active and does not want to become pregnant. This is because even though the odds of her becoming pregnant is very low, it is still a possibility. This possibility increases if her sexual partner is under 40. After a woman has gone through menopause, typically at some point in her early 50s, she still can become pregnant using fertility treatments. Most of the time its through using donor eggs from a younger woman. Younger woman now has the option of freezing their eggs for later use however the jury is still out on how successful that is. This is because so far, the majority of women who freeze eggs/embryos never actually get around to using them. They just become pregnant the old fashioned way while still in their 30s or early 40s.
This was a great topic to cover.
I have never felt pressured by my biological clock because I grew up with a single mom and we had a really hard time. So I never had a strong desire to have kids. I am 29 now and I only feel that I will want a child if my partner/husband is worthy of me reproducing with. My dad is a terrible person so for me it will depend on if my partner/husband is a great human himself.
For the women who really want children, I wish you well. I hope you all get what is best because I have seen people with kids who shouldn’t have had them. 👀
Yes, at the end of the day we all have to make choices that work best for our particular case. Thank you for watching! ❤️
@@bfbmain Definitely 💯
Yea this is my mentality on having kids too. I’m getting married this year and the number one factor for me on deciding on whether or not I want a child is the quality of the potential father.
I also grew up with an (amazing) single mom and the struggle was real without my dad being present. I want my future kids to have an active father in their lives so my fiancé and I aim to model what a loving, high quality relationship is in our home. If I hadn’t found my fiancé and vetted him for fatherhood, having children would not be on my radar.
@@waluigisim That’s beautiful. I definitely am letting it play out how it needs to. I don’t plan on freezing eggs either. If it happens that I never meet someone to commit to and I really want a child, I will adopt. Congratulations!
@@acd1168That's wonderful
It honestly depends on the person, their health, genetics etc. My aunt had all her kids in her 40s!!! First child at 41 and the other 2 at 44 and 46!!! I've witnessed plenty of women in their 20s having such a hard time with getting pregnant, still births and misscarriages. Reproduction is indeed wild like the game of bingo. Plus with this economy, you've got to have the right partner coz baby, it's not easy raising children on low finances, poor mental, physical and emotional health. Do what's right for you ladies.
I always tought about that, maternity is a bingo game.
Just like shingles, nature doesn’t care. Handle business in your twenties.
I enjoyed my life in my 20s. I got married in my mid-30s and had my first child. We didn’t think we would have another one but ended up pregnant at 42. It was such an easy delivery and healing afterwards.
My mom had me at 42. I was the last one out of 3. We all try to help her and drive her around, groceries, doctors. She’s not alone. I will say it is hard for me since I’ve done majority of the care taking for her and now my brother is finally helping me with her. I’m 30 now and scared I won’t find a good partner
@@DianaBeautyLAyou modern women are done ....
Yes, because that will happen to every woman
Is this ‘order of operations’ something you’d recommend to other women?
Exceptions are not the rule
I don't understand this biological clock thing. You're either ready to be a parent or you're not. If you're not ready, it doesn't matter if you're able. People focus on the wrong thing
Fact of the matter is that it exists
It’s not about being ready it’s your eggs. They’re either fertile or not. That’s your clock.
@@rosealldays Her point is having the eggs won't make you a good parent . Hence we see a lot of fertilized eggs in the foster system . Giving birth to a child is just the starting of the journey . She's probably more focused on being in a situation where she can be a good parent to a child whether biological or not .
sounds good in theory, but in reality almost no one ever becomes ready, it just happens and you adjust and learn along the way.
Well said
(in the US) We definitely need more support for family planning for parents. Things like paid maternal and paternal leave should be more common. Then, we also need more affordable childcare optiona for working parents.
Absolutely. If society is so worried about a declining workforce, help parents raise it!
@@bfbmain So? Third World girls who have kids at 13. All I see is the world's self correction: renewal. Industrialized parts of the globe dwindle so that the training of new people from Third World can take up the missing load. It's not women's fault that population is in decline in developed countries, the WILL isn't there on both sides. Men don't don't want the responsibility of carrying a whole family on their back
Gezzz I used to think that being child free means you're haughty and selfish but then I'm thinking that the childcare system in America is horrible. If we had a decent childcare system then I'd understand calling women selfish and self centered for not having kids but the western climate is horrible. You can aruge that it's selfish to have kids. Ironically, men have a clock too.
I completely agree, I'm just unsure how much it will help. In Denmark we have these things, and yet the birthrate is plummeting as well.
Then child free people ought to get more vacation
What bothers me is that society acts like you chose when you have children. The truth is that many women would love to have kids but simply won't come close to being able to support a family before fertility starts to dip.
LOL. That’s why women should focus on getting a husband in their early twenties. You remember “husbands”, don’t you? No no no, not the hook up or the situation-ship, but a husband. Still doesn’t compute? Smh. Disregard. 😂😂😂
Women aren’t supposed to support families, HUSBANDS are supposed to do that. I’m sorry, did I just spray ‘patriarchy’ all over you? I should have warned you it was coming? Sorry.
@@Roccofan Yeah stupid advice when divorce rate is so high! Young women to focus solely on a man in their formative young years, get no education/trade so they can be divorced, impoverished single mothers without any money in their 30's and 40's ...Or trapped in horrible relationships they can't leave? NO THANKS
@@Roccofan First, most men do not want to merry until mid thirties. Second, the divoce rates are very high and most men do not want to settle until mid thirties. More than 50% marriages do divorce. The child support from the missing parent (usually father) is ridiculous. Childhood in single mother household is not easy, even when the woman does have a decent job and income. Not everybody has the luxury of their (grand)parent's support. I personally do not see hookup girls around me. Mos of them want to have a family. But its really hard to find a man who wants it also in some reasonable timescale. Plus add education. Women now do study longer to get better prospects in their life, of course for their future children.
@@Roccofan
Most men are not able to support the whole family.
I never felt pressured by my biological clock. I grew up with an adopted sibling and for me parenthood was never strictly linked to pregnancy.
I always wanted to be a mother, but I also always was prepared to raise children that had been abandoned or lost their family.
I know a woman who tried for years without success and when she finally accepted that she’ll never have children and made peace with it, she had her first child at 53! All naturally!
She'll be 71 when it graduates from high-school.
She is an exception
@Jau Martinez why irresponsible? She thought she couldn’t have children or would ever have children… was she supposed to abort it or what???
That story means all woman should hold off having kids until 44 and they won’t have any trouble conceiving! Actually Women in their late 30s and 40s have a higher percentage of abnormal eggs than younger women, and so it’s more likely that the one egg released each month will be abnormal. This is why natural fertility declines with age, and why infertility, miscarriage and genetic disorders are more commonly seen with women over 35.Up to 35 years old, about 70% of your eggs are chromosomally normal, which then decreases to about 50%, and by the time you reach 40 you can expect about 10-15 % of your eggs to be chromosomally normal. Once an egg becomes abnormal, this can’t be reversed and egg quality can’t be improved. Fertility clinic REQUIRE women over 40 to use donor eggs because the risk of chromosomal abnormalities is so high.
@@neverstop2493I was 42 when I had my last baby and she is a super healthy baby. Also, one of the OB-GYN in my doctor’s office was 42. She was healthy as well.
The crazy thing is … most people have kids before they even know that they want them
Quite of few kidsa re born to bad parents. I know from my mother's past. Not all people are made to be parents period.
All these people harrassing women for hitting the wall or losing their fertility IMO should instead focus on getting babies that are already born to grow in the best conditions and support system.
So many kids are born into abusive or neglectful parents, or becoming wards of state that is also prone to situations of abuse and neglect. It is the highest hypocrisy to badger women who are minding their own business about their as-of-yet unborn children while turning a blind eye on the ones already here who are living in deplorable circumstances.
I myself am a childless woman of a "certain age" and I just roll my eyes when relatives ask me about when I will have children. I am not even in a relationship and I don't see myself getting married anytime soon. I think until society gives the same scrutiny and effort to unfortunate children, they should leave me and my empty womb the eff alone.
I'm sorry ladies but egg-freezing is not a good option as the success rates are low. I think women should learn to be okay with not mothering someone, and if not, well then adoption and fostering is a very beneficial option for society. Also, embracing the freedom of being childfree is also an option, and trust me it is GREAT :)
I'm child-free by choice and I second your message 👍 I'd also add that freezing eggs is not free - many women simply don't have multiple thousands of dollars available to pay for this procedure. It's not a feasible option for everyone.
@@marad786 Exactly! I would hate to see hard-working ladies go into debt for that when motherhood is not necessary and is just overhyped by the pro-natalist cult.
Absolutely agree. 4 of my friends have done egg freezing and have just wasted a heap of money.. plus they have to have the cost for the IVF treatment once they're ready for getting pregnant.
@@marad786I’m with you. I’m a mom, but since I had my baby a little later in life, egg freezing was always on the periphery of my mind. Clinics do not have to share their success rates. Its really important for women to know it’s no sure thing and the enormous costs of egg retrieval, keeping them frozen, etc.
Another perspective I have is that we in our western society define mother/mothering in a very limited way that doesn't take into account our communalism. A woman that gives to her community was traditionally seen as a mother figure, but now we restrict mother to the biological children we rear. Even adoptive mothers aren't always seen in the same vein.
I'm still healing from my past, turning 30 in a few months and in a loving relationship, but won't have kids until I know I can be the mum I've always wanted to be.
I'd also be happy to adopt or foster, coming to that decision took a lot of the pressure off in terms of not needing to worry about a biological clock (because egg freezing is no guarantee).
Right and they still get their money.
I’m turning 30 and I don’t care to have children at this moment. I’m the first daughter in my family and I grew up raising my siblings. This has made me feel it’s exhausting, emotionally, mentally and psychologically draining. I am aware it’s a trauma response but it’s my personal journey as well.
I think that another point to add to this conversation is the fact that, though women have been considered useless after they are no longer fertile, that's incredibly far from the truth. Older women have more knowledge and experience with pregnancies, motherhood, etc. and gradmas can help take care of children. And these are only two examples related to motherhood, but there are a ton other things older women can do. I don't remember exactly where I read this, but someone actually said that women being no lenger fertile past a certain age is an evolutionary mechanism to protect us (because childbirth is dangerous, it can come with tons of complications and side issues and mortality rates ARE still high in many countries) in order to preserve our knowledge which, at a certain point, is arguably much more valuable for society than giving birth to more children.
I love this perspective!
I want to adopt, Im very firm on that becayse childbirth is terrifying to me. It annoys me that people in the world think that im not "fulfilling my purpose" because im choosing to never birth a child.
Studies show that pregnancy biologically ages woman up to 11yrs. This is outside of the trauma of labor. During labor, you are 300% closer to death. There is no reason for you to desire pregnancy or giving birth. You sound like you get the reality of pregnancy before even being pregnant. 👍
I hope artificial gestation is perfected soon enough to help you and the millions of other women in the same situation. Whether or not you decide to take the risk, I wish you the best.
my purpose is to not be a parent because I would not do well. My health situations make it impossible anyways. So why should I let myself be pressured? I'm not going to settle down with a husband either. I'm not angry or sad or nothing like that. I don't hate men I just do not feel the urge to settle down.
I've always been confident and indepedant and knew who I was for the most part. I'm not some over bearing unkind woman. I've thought this through for years now. I'm 42 and I'm still single and still happy! I am childfree not childless. It makes you seem like you are 'less" which is why it's used to pressure us.
At 29 I have more freedom, money, peace and opportunities than ever. I could not care less about having children or getting married. Can't wait to enjoy my thirties
Great, enjoy yourself. I only ask one thing, please don’t f around, change your thinking in a few years and then start calling ‘all men’ trash because you fumbled your biological and dating/mating ball. Thanks.
Same🤝
Me too 🎉
awesome right? Going against the grain makes me happier as well. I'm tired of the dating drama and I don't want to have a baby. After much time and relfection I've come to that with peace. The facts are that as a woman you need to be careful what men you let in your life.
It's dangerous how many just think of us as good for sex, food, and babies.
Let’s hope you don’t regret your decision…
I'm a 30 year old stay at home mom of three and I feel lucky that I am living the life of my dreams. I hope every woman is able to achieve her dreams no matter what they are
Did you marry rich?
@@13579hee when I saw my husband he was so commanding and strong looking and had a beautiful smile. When I got to know him I found out he had been working nonstop since he was 16 and was currently managing a retail store. He wasn't rich but I knew that he was hard working and would one day be very successful. I wanted to help him achieve his goals and support him. We started out in a 1 bedroom empty apartment and ate eggs and noodles for a couple of years. We were so happy. Hr got a very good job after out 1st son was born and he has been climbing the ladder ever since. We own a home now from his hard work! When choosing a husband choose a man with good morals, dedication and values because those qualites birth success and wealth. He might now be rich when you meet him but you can help him become so with your beliefe and trust in him
I feel happy for you. I‘m 21 years old and currently studying econ. I don’t know what my dream live looks like. This makes me a bit insecure. I want to focus on my carreer and maybe not have children. Being the cool rich aunt seems nice to me. But I feel like, I would be open to having kids when I felt financially stable and in a stable relationship. I‘m lesbian, never had a girlfriend though. So, this really is an open chapter and I don’t know in which direction it goes.
@@kaydee3200 We're having trouble finding women we can trust, let alone help us build.
Thank you for supporting all women because I"m tired of being pressured. I thought it through and really reflected over it this wasn't a flip idea. I tried to date but seriously there was 1 good man I found but there was no attraction or love for him beyond friendship. :( The rest weren't good.
At 37 I finally realized that I was miserablet rying to live someone elses dream. So I did the healthy thing for myself and walked away. It's not selfish to do this, it took much relfection like I said. I think it's great that you get to be a wife and mom and I wish you the best.
I'm not someone who hates on house wifes. I think it's great for you, jus tlike being single and child free is great for me. We need dif things and that is ok. Not according to the world right? Ugh! Womne should have the chioce it's their life.
Finally someone completely understands women's choice in life.
Honestly, having kids is just a huge down in a woman's career. So I'm just not interested in loosing everything to fulfill a role I don't even aspire to.
Hard truth that's difficult for most to digest
I worked for many years in HR & can attest to this. Women struggle to get back what they lose in their career & it has real life consequences.
All women do for improvement, betterment, healing, etc. Not just for themselves but also for all. It was still offensive. Women was never appreciated for the efforts, it was the mistakes of women they recall. If men had mistakes, men acknowledged and highly appreciated their efforts to be better. They believe that self love and self care of women are purely selfish, self centered, and self entitled. If men had self love and self care it was perceived as a good thing. All about women are always offensive and all about men are always perceived as educationial. No wonder the percentage of Depression, low self confidence, and Low self esteem was extremely higher on women. Then have audacity to say that women are just playing victim. 😒😏
Same here. Grandma had 8, my mom had 4, and I none.
Grandma had 4. Mom had 2. I have none.
ROFL My grandmother on mom's side had 7 kids, my mother had 4 and I've chosen for my own reasons to not get married or have kids. There is nothing selfish in my reasons and I found joy once I let go of hte rpessure. It has nothing to do wiht God's will when it comes to marriage.
Also why do I owe it to a man to get married so he can function happier? That sounds like the thoughts of hte past. IT's sad that more women in the world do not get free choice.
I don't care what the society says, I just don't want any kid. Why would I do something that doesn't make my life easier? It's simple as that. Life is hard enough as it is, the rest of the time, I just want to enjoy, treat myself well. The world is obviously designed in a way that the top tier elites get to do whatever they want and enjoy their life the way they want, but for the vast majorities, we are expected to obey the rules of religions, society, and be enslaved, so that the elites continue being elites.
As a man hearing this from a woman... It makes much more sense than the overbearing "alpha" males on the manosphere that blames feminism and women being sluts and career women....
I totally agree with your sentiment on the living costs, i definitely would be able to afford a family, support my woman and kids financially if the conditions we're in were easier plus government incentives... But they arent enough for how we living
Ok, but do you want kids and are you marrying a 35yr old woman in order to make that a reality?
❤️
The Misogynists, Incels, and Toxic Patriarchy still find this video very offensive, they need to seek a psychiatrist, seriously.
You forgot the ‘red pill’ ‘top G’ ‘alpha male’ group.
Alphabets are different breeds.
That is because most of those movements are designed to exploit men for right-wing political gain. Both men and women are getting screwed. It doesn’t do either men nor women to bet pitted against each other.
You mean the toxic woke Feminists???… 🤔
I am a single woman in my mid-30s and I did go to a fertility clinic 2 years ago to get my fertility health checked out. The recommendation was that I should freeze my eggs asap, but the process itself could cost upto $10K and the medication can apparently cost anywhere between $3K-$8. Yusra, I'd be curious to know what numbers were shared with you.
Anyways, I can't afford that shit, at least not while I am a PhD student. So yeah, I might be 38 by the time I can even afford to have my eggs frozen and this lady on the tik tok you shared is now saying that might not even work.
I guess if the government is worried about declining fertility rate, they can subsidize egg freezing, but I doubt they will.
After age 40 fertility clinics require donor eggs. There is too much chromosomal damage
Success will depend on you AMH not money
This is exactly my situation. I'm a PhD student but in my mid 30's and I cannot imagine affording eggs freezing at all. I got my AMH done and the doc said my eggs and ovaries are healthy and normal. But I cannot afford a child or egg freezing.
Right but ya that's not gonna happen any time soon! It sucks for those who want to be parents. I think drs can get greedy when it's the fertilifty thing. Like they know you have no choice.
This was an excellent video! I thank u for sharing. Noone told me this when I was younger. I focused on my career and stacking degrees. I got married at 39 and although I got pregnant 3 times over 3 years could never carry to term. It was then I was educated about how our eggs age and fertility rates dropped. The key thing I kept getting told was I should have frozen my eggs when I was younger.
I'm so sorry for your losses. Wishing you all the best for your journey ahead ❤️
Why aren’t young women being told this ?
@@neverstop2493they are.
@neverstop2493 I honestly think that we are but most women don't want to face the TRUTH
@@mahlatse8605Doubtful.
I think men and women should live the way they want. However, they should understand that there will be consequences that accompany their decisions. That leads to these questions: 1. Have l done a side-by-side comparison of the outcomes of decisions ahead of me?
2. Can l bear the long term consequences of the things l want to do?
Just something to consider....
Thank you for covering this topic!! I don't think I had really thought about this aspect of my life practically outside of feeling the backbreaking pressure to find someone and settle down before I "expire". So few women really have this conversation, particularly that of going to a gynecologist, understanding your own biology, and just how empowering it can be to gain control of one's own agency. In countries like Pakistan, going to gynecologist before you get married for any reason is a taboo!! It's so frustrating. We've still got a long way to go, which just adds to the urgency of having these conversations.
I bet they have lots of deaths due to cancers or whatever O_O WOW
I love kids but would not want to bring a child into this unstable and unpredictable world. There are enough kids who are already born, who need loving parents.. so my partner and I will seek to foster and/or adopt once we reach a point where we can responsibly parent a kid (once we are mentally and financially able to).
I think the “incentive” for having children has to be the children themselves. Yes, it’s really expensive and time consuming to raise children, and it always has been. Some countries are better at supporting new moms (6 months of maternity leave!!) but that’s not the US. It stinks, but there are things in this life worth giving 110%.
Before I had my baby, I couldn’t fathom how it would feel to be a mom. I couldn’t imagine taking a break from my career and being a stay at home mom. I couldn’t imagine the joy of seeing a tiny human grow and learn. I couldn’t imagine how difficult yet rewarding it would be to support her in overcoming challenges. Not every woman feels this way. It’s a struggle that is unique to each woman. Still, I guess the stone cold realist in me would say to anyone who thinks they want a child (or more than one) take an active role in assessing your fertility. Yes, age is a factor but there are others as well. I never felt baby fever, but now that I’m a mom, I realize that because I had no idea how motherhood would feel. There’s really no way to know. It’s a leap of faith.
Women have spoken glowingly about having children throughout time, even when they were literal slaves. It’s nice that women can still stay positive even when 70% of marriages end in divorce. The odds are against every couple, yet women are so positive.
It sure has an expiry day. But I am happier with my choice to have stayed child free so far instead of being tied to a deadbeat father of the child. I have not found the partner who would be fit for the job. As painful as the decision is, it is better that way.
> Live in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment because that's all you can afford
> You and your partner live paycheck to paycheck even though you both have full-time jobs and have gone to college
> You struggle with mental health issues and your partner struggles with extreme stress, WITHOUT kids
> WhY AreN't YoU HAViNg KiDs??????
You are hitting and raising so many points. It can be hard enough to build a life and living for yourself. Finding a partner can take years. Plus the biological clock. It is so much to think about and pan for. I support us women doing what we want for ourselves.
Mmmh I’m lucky to live in the first ever era throughout human history when I can live on my own, travel without anyone’s permission, make good money and keep it, choose to have sex or not, marry or not, have children or not, choose what religion appeals most to me (or none!), what I want to do with my time, what skills I can master. I am thinking of all the millions women of the past, and, unfortunately, the present, who had never had a tenth of my freedom in their lives, who were basically sacrificed for the prosperity of the upper classes who benefited off their fertility and submissiveness, and I’m like - nah. Thanks. I’ll have mu kids if I want and when I want, and if I won’t be able to, I’ll adopt and love them unconditionally. No biological clock or social pressure can have a hold on me.
Yess!!
I’m 30 and I got my fertility checked because I’m actually considering becoming a Choice Mom if I’m not married & on the path to have children by 35 ☺️ I used a Modern Fertility kit that was only $150 and they did all the blood tests and provided results with a ton of education 👌🏾 All my results came back normal and typical for my age (thank goodness!) and that really took a lot of stress off 💯
Both my grandmothers had their last babies at 42 & 43. They lived well into their 80s. Some women experience unexplained infertility in their 20s. You never know how your journey with motherhood is gonna go. It could be easier or more complicated than you thought. Know your history, know your health, plan accordingly.
Get an AMH level by 32
Were your grandparents single women that froze their eggs or were they married early in their lives and built families with their husbands?
@@Roccofan One was single, one was married.
I studied somputer science and earn 36k where i live. The housing is here relatively cheap compared to city's, where an average house costs around half a mill. Even with a good degree and my partner and me both working fulltime, we are nowhere close to being able to afford it. And then the society wants us to have kids, which will cost us 6k/year for the daycare alone. What a joke
As someone who would love to have 2 kids in a few years, it stresses me out and saddens me that our world, especially men, legitimately give 0 incentive for women to have children.
I don’t intended to have kids but I find it so puzzling how the rumour that women can’t have children over 30 got started all the women in my family had kids late thirty early 40 and healthy babies
I don't plan on having kids. I am unaware of my fertility.
Tbh I’m not having kids unless I’m Rihanna or Kylie Jenner rich 💸
I am childfree and just retired early. I would not have been able to do that if I had kids. I own my own home and travel abroad. Again, non of that would be possible if I had kids.
This is your best Video so far❤️
This is a great video, I agree families need more support to properly and lovingly raise children. I am 27 and was able to conceive right away and I know it’s a blessing. I truly relied on God to bless my family and my body to have kids. There are days I worry about having everything perfect however, I do have a full time job and Registered Nurse and my boyfriend works 2 full time jobs as well. It depends on your circumstances for sure, I just want to remind anyone who read this to please remember God is in control no matter what appears to be in the flesh….
egg freezing is way too expensive for most people 😕 it seems like most people freezing their eggs are literally rich doctors 😭
Really? In europe is like 2-3 thousands max. Yes, its a lot buts its like an insurance.
It also has an extremely low success rate of actually producing a successful pregnancy. Most people don’t realize how low.
@@kaira4047 it's $10,000 here, u also have to pay for them keeping ur eggs, they dont just store it for free..
It’s hard. I’ve noticed (at least where I work, the women are more hostile to other women when it came to kids. The men were more sympathetic by far.
Well damn, I just turned 30 and 2:50 hit like a train, cuz do I can't hear that enough from everyone. And I'm still MEHHH on the kids or even marriage. If I meet my kind of guy, I see it maybe, but I would not cry at 40 If none happened, you know. People around me doesn't seem to think that is a right kind of thinking.
Lol I think you predicting on how you will feel in a decade is kind of silly.
@@irkaart5556 So is your comment, but here we are.
@@irkaart5556 Others are predicting too .
I wanted to get married and have kids my whole life. Eventually I changed my mine on both but most times people's minds are usually set.
I’m commenting because your not pushed to me enough… that’s probably my fault for not commenting or interacting enough. But I love your perspective and I appreciate your input! You beautiful lady you! Thank you for your views!
This is so sweet, thanks so much! ❤️
This is so on point! Governments and states give subsidies and bailouts left and right to big business but don't make an effort to pay mothers for one of the hardest and most important job there is. The societies are build around worshipping the masculine ideal of striving for big money, power, dominance, but women who chose to be nurturing or dedicate their time to being SAHM or work in care sector are robbed of their financial independence, respect, appreciation. Of course we strive to distance ourselves from the labor that gets us next to nothing, no money and no status, no protection and no recognition. I don't know what kind of policies we need to adapt to flip the tide but until there's a deep change in our system of values the fertility rates aren't going up. Unless we really understand the importance and responsibility and dedication of care, not just for child but for elders, family and community, it will be super miserable. Maybe don't punish women who chose to be mothers for their choice every day, the we'll speak.
Feminism is not the problem ITS CAPITALISM!!!!! Affordable housing can incentivize women to breed!!!!!
They love to blame women
I would like to have more children. I have one, but I am concerned that I won’t be able to maintain a good quality of life for my family if I have more. I’m still trying though for almost 2 years. I’m 38 now and it certainly is more difficult. I got pregnant at 27 and I wasn’t even trying.
It’s a difficult choice but I hope that whatever is best for you happens! ❤️💕
@@bfbmain Thank you 😄
I was advised to go check it out when i was 27, mostly because i've had some medical concerns while i was a toddler. When I visited the cabinet the fertility doctor said that nothing was out of the ordinary, but the main reason for me to visit him was that i heard that someone with my medical history could have her fertility affected to be as high as a 7 year older woman(so when i was 27 then it suggested my odds were as a 34 year old would have). So I freaked out, visited him and ever since it has been like a looming fear in my future which caused a lot of anxiety. Like you I wanted to have my own two feet firmly to the ground, some career to fall back to and to find a partner not just a "sperm donor for a season".
Long story short, I did 2 rounds of egg freezing and now Ihave some sort of alleviation of that anxiety, but still the partner part is now the important question because plan A is still to try have children the natural way.
Until this moment I'm just gonna chill and as of now I'm enrolling again to do a Masters degree and take every day, month and year as it comes.
Thank you for discussing this topic so level-headedly!
I hope that advances in artificial gestation will increase your options even further. Thanks to your good planning you will be one of the few people can “have it all.” I hope you have a long and happy life with as many children as you desire.
If you are lucky, you will find someone to spend your life with and have children young. I’m very fortunate as I got what I wanted. It doesn’t happen for everyone. The dating pool dwindles. Everyone does not want to be parents.
I’m glad you’re talking about this. It’s such a complicated discussion. I feel that society fails on both fronts: both telling us our time is limited while also not being realistic about what that timing actually looks like. For every friend I know who had a baby in her 40s, I have another who tried and failed to have any in her 30s.
Everyone gave me a hard time for getting married at 22, to a guy younger than me. It took us FOUR YEARS and THREE pregnancies to get one live birth. I’m now 31 and 7 months pregnant with #3. I’m also SO glad we didn’t wait any longer to start our family. We spent our 20s having kids and focusing on his career.
I’ve been easing back into the workforce for the last year, as each of our kids start preschool, and am using my education and already matching my husband’s salary. This is my decade and I don’t feel as far behind as I thought I would after taking a break.
I’m glad I focused on building a family first. Every pregnancy has been harder and I’m glad I’m not any older. Now we have our kids and my husband and I are each working our dream jobs and I’m glad we ignored the skeptics. We have a mortgage and otherwise are on track to be debt-free in the next two years.
All I can say is that the economy changes and there are many aspects of your career out of your control. However, if children are a priority to you, prioritize them, even if it means living more modestly than you want to for a few years.
Can you tell us what made up your mind on your decisions?
Yeah as I’ve gotten older the DINK life looks more and more appealing. Idk the jury is still out for me lol
thanks! ❤ ❤ you said everything I think... it's so sad that the government doesn't understand what it gains by helping women and couples to have a healthier environment to have children. personally I want to have a child but I don't because I'm not financially comfortable to feel confident about having a child, but at the same time I have the conflict of having a disease that hinders fertility putting pressure on me even more.
I am 33 and I got my amh test done and my results was actually amazing my doctor said I have the amh levels of a l typical 25 year old I can have a healthy pregnancy even after my mid 30s also I do take my vitamins everyday and I work out I don’t drink alcohol and I don’t smoke I also don’t party so ladies please take care of your body it’s super important especially as you get older also look up vitamins that help with fertility as well you will be surprised how much it helps.
What vitamins you take?
Who can afford to freeze eggs? As someone who is Pakistani and still trying to stabilise myself in my mid 30's in a foreign country
while having dealt with numerous cultural impositions a decade ago- I think only people who can afford it get their eggs frozen. Not everyone can do that. It doesn’t cater to everyone. I got my AMH done and the doc said i have healthy and normal eggs but i dont even know what to do with that info b/c i cannot afford a child or their needs. My mother had children up to 40 years.
Yuzura, I admire your eyeliner game. your make-up is always so on point and I love your style, sorry for the off topic
This "biological clock" is not quite right. I know a lot of women after 35 who got pregnant.
A funny thing happened to me when I was almost 49. I was in a hospital and trying to do an x-ray and the nurse came in and said that we need to do a pregnancy test. I thought she was talking with the wrong patient and told her that and that I'm almost 49 and with no chance to be pregnant, and she said that is the rule, we have to be at least 50 for them to not do the pregnancy test, because they had several cases of pregnancies with women just under 50, and some even over 50. I guess it depends on our health and genetics. I am not saying that every woman can get pregnant at that age but that there is a possibility. But in your 30's as a woman the clock is definitely NOT ticking!
It is a lot more risky for a woman to have her FIRST child later in life. Please let me know if that information is outdated.
@@wpatrickw2012That’s true, but not to the extent that people claim and not at the same point. The risks are only really relevant in your lates 30s and beyond 40. Most women in their early or even mid 30s won’t have much trouble.
Then there's 15 year too premature menopause yall. Sometimes the clock just breaks.
You look really good for 33, If you didn't tell I'd think you are like 28-29
Rhianna didn’t become a billionaire from her music and touring.
It's crazy because little act like old people don't have saggy skin, most times they have difficulty walking and being able to do everyday tasks, this isn't to insult them, but how are you going to say older men are so strong and fertile, when they can't even walk. It isn't gender specific this is why older people need nurses or people to help them. I don't understand where people are coming from. Older men are expected to have more money than younger men but it isn't always true
I’m glad all of these ladies can afford to freeze their eggs. I’m not going to have kids and it was not my choice.
Freezing eggs is not cheap
Your videos are so interesting!
great topic as always, make-up is spot on also ;)
Thanks so much! 😊
8:30 in the country I live in, there are thousands of financial incentives to have children. Subsidized daycare, free schools paid for by taxes of people with or without children, child tax credits, baby bonus, the list is almost endless. And the welfare paid to single mothers who are unwilling to work, is pretty decent. Where the real incentive is sadly, is for a woman with children to divorce and sue husband for support. In Canada, she will almost always see an increase in her standard of living after a split. What's backfiring as a result is young men's unwillingness to marry
I had a lot of tests made (from blood, genetics, etc) a few years ago (and again recently), and every doctor says my results are perfect, but I still can’t get pregnant for 2 years now… unfortunately you just never know, now I wish we started trying earlier (I’m 32 now)
Has your partner’s sperm count been checked ? There is such a thing as male infertility .
@@MR-zq5gt of course, he was checked first:) all good there as well.
Highly disagree, it depends on the person and how they perceive the world. For me 30 is young 😂 If you're a stupid misogynist, then sure 30 is old 😅
It depends on you AMH level. Women should not believe they won’t have difficulty conceiving after 35. If your AMH is low it’s all over. It’s not misogyny it’s science
@@neverstop2493 most woman can have kids after 35
@Liliya1chance What is your source for this? Women are born with a finite number of eggs that degrade over time. Women in their late 30s and 40s have a higher percentage of abnormal eggs than younger women, and so it’s more likely that the one egg released each month will be abnormal. This is why natural fertility declines with age, and why infertility, miscarriage and genetic disorders are more commonly seen with women over 35.Up to 35 years old, about 70% of your eggs are chromosomally normal, which then decreases to about 50%, and by the time you reach 40 you can expect about 10-15 % of your eggs to be chromosomally normal. Once an egg becomes abnormal, this can’t be reversed and egg quality can’t be improved. Fertility clinic REQUIRE women over 40 to use donor eggs because the risk of chromosomal abnormalities is so high. How can a woman not know this? Just Google “egg chromosomal abnormalities by age” I really need to invest in cryogenics if you are typical.
@@neverstop2493 why are we linking old with the ability to have kids 😂
@nataliakrumova535 200,000 years of evolutionary psychology, mammalian mating behavior, the biological imperative and continuation of the species mean most men find younger highly fertile women much more attractive than women 35 and older who are much less fertile. Science does not care how you perceive the world.
Are my eggs cute? 😂😂😂
Girl you’re makeup is always on point
Thaank youuu sis! 🩷❤️
Why do we need so many people in the world? I live in CA so that colors my opinion. We are living in a time where there isn’t enough space for houses with a yard, young families cannot afford to live in a good safe area, so they are taken by buses to schools in areas with more resources because families can’t afford to live there. There is so much homelessness. We are running out of funeral lots… When I hear populations are going down I imagine this next generation will have more job opportunities and housing prices will go down because there is not much competition. Traffic control and pollution will go down. Can we leave more space for animals and nature to live? That would be great! Instead of relying on our children to take care of us when we are old (which is not guaranteed) having more comprehensive social programs instead.
That’s silly. Other places are just fine. You need to get out more
This is just a fallacy and just ridiculous
This is the advice I give my younger sisters... Have your children young. Why would you pay a fortune to freeze some eggs that are produced naturally for so long?... Even if you want 4 kids, you only need 4 eggs! So do it while you're young and healthy. Then go to work. It will be hard, you will be dependant and poor but if you make it, you'll have a job and children.
@@LuckyLucky-yh7xd It's my opinion. And understand it before yelling none sense. After you gt your masters degree, and have a boyfriend, not some guy you're hanging out with. Have your baby. Then look for work and start your career. It won't be easy but it will allow you to reach 30 and not have a ticking clock over your head. That's all.
Much easier said than done.
I don't know if I'd call any flower fun and spicy to eat but i get what you're saying.
Not even sure why they are surprised that families have less kids. Before, men were able to provide for a whole family, now the women are forced to work to. Who is going to raise the child? Society? Why even bother making kids if both parents dont have time to spend with the child?
I’ve been waiting for you to upload 😂 thank you 🙏
I hope you enjoyed it! :)
She said does her eggs look cute 🤣🤣 i cant. Also how old where you when you got your eggs checked if you dont mind me asking?
Life is a series of choices and compromises. You can’t have everything. This applies to men as well. Almost all men are not able to attain success within a 40 hour week, clock out at 5, and attend every youth sporting event and recital. As time goes by, doors close behind you. Some options are eliminated, some dreams aren’t going to come true.
Guys, I'm 40 with great quality eggs. But my uterus didn't grew old as nice...so it had to be removed. Infertility caught with me anyways
I love this video
So in sense, do women in general are the ones that make the decision whether population grows are not? Just asking.
both sexes have a role in population growth, but since women are the ones to conceive and get pregnant they generally have the bigger impact.
@@toorshytoorshy7456 I gotcha.. thank you for the reply! ;)
The thing is that in all societies, it’s necessary to have people who can barely make a living and are basically slaves with allowance. But now in this society, we have less of that absolutely terrible poverty class, which means that the struggle bleeds in and is shared across the middle class. Before, it didn’t matter whether you were dead poor, you still pretty much had to have kids, because of the social pressure and lack of contraception. Now, people only have children if they want to, and not many would choose to fall in the social hierarchy and live in more poverty just to have a child.
everything tastes better aged.. except pizza, but thats not even healthy so it doesn't count
LOL 😂
I love cold pizza
There's always a blindspot in people's healthcare that we don't consider and need to consult those specialists to see their options instead of just the general A or B conversation, and this conversation includes the scope of abortions i think with having control over your health and people needing to recognize it is an important step in helping children grow in a space they feel wanted along with government help with child care to help out those that do but sadly there is more intentional hypocrites out there grifting in politics then caring for our men and women. great video!
actually if you don't look at the size of human population, from economic stability point of view, but from what planet Earth can handle point of view, you would quickly realize the problem is the human overpopulation for her, for us, especially for western sovieties, it gets more complicated, but the total amount of people on our planet is constantly growing so it has to stabilise at some point
Love your videos ❤❤
Thanks so much! ❤️
Women deserve equality and freedom to make their own choices
“What are we, as men, doing if these women out here feel like they’re forced to freeze their eggs” boom 👊
Women are the best at reproduction because they’re the only ones who can. It’s no competition there lol, it’s not that that’s all you’re good at, it’s that you’re literally born and your natural body is capable of reproducing. It would be a different story if both sexes had to manufacture their way in to it, but no, women have a natural advantage to this. 2:43
Why do women think that having a child in their geriatric ages is somehow okay?
Well all throughout history there was no contraception women had children in their 20 30 40 and sometimes 50 . It is now that with contraception people are actively choosing not to
This is a great video explaining the situation. I teach young men that this is a good thing. We no longer have to be the provider and protector. We don't have anymore responsibilities and pressures. We are free now and we don't even know it. We no longer have to slave to feed a family. This has to be talked about and celebrated more. I teach them to never ask women out and certainly never pay. They have careers and good paying jobs. They can provide for themselves.
They will be rejected as dusties... And their children will be treated poorly by those single mothers...
Wow some of these comments interesting that the ones making horrible comments about those who want children are from women
2nd not wanting kids is fine I have family members who it wasn't for them but I have never seen them come across as bitter as some on here are
3rd interesting to see people using extreme reactions on people saying you are better trying in 20s rather then leaving it late yes some have kids later but it's not common yes try freezing your eggs but it is far from a good chance and also stop pretending abuse is common you can find a partner who won't don't blame others if you didn't try
Kids are overrated. Myself included😂😂😂😂😂😂