So glad to finally get this episode done. Dr K is one of my most requested guests, he’s a beast. Enjoy! Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:04 What Society Misunderstands About Screen Addiction 14:47 Can You Be Addicted to Social Media? 25:39 Setting Healthy Boundaries with Gaming & Social Media 31:39 Why Nobody Should Take Their Phone to the Bathroom 43:58 Learning From Social Media High Performers 56:25 Helping People Who Constantly Lose 1:01:07 Is There Evidence for Dopamine Fasting? 1:06:18 Why Porn Use is So Misunderstood 1:22:50 How Porn Impacts Brain Development 1:26:27 Is Screen Time Detrimental to Sleep? 1:30:12 Explaining Brain Fog & How to Fix It 1:46:17 Is it Harder to Find Purpose in Today’s World? 1:55:59 Where to Find Dr K
1:11:22 Well that's weird because when I'm feeling worthless, the last thing I can be bothered with is an orgasm. In fact I just don't get horny at all. Porn and masturbation are the last thing I can be bothered with, in that mindset. I'd rather stare at a wall and think about all the mistakes I made today. lol I look at porn, a lot, for the simple reason that I'm attracted to women and I like looking at them when I'm horny. Is it really any different to closing my eyes and looking at them in my head? Not in my opinion. In fact, using your imagination makes orgasm easier if anything. You can create a whole scenario. I just like looking at pretty, naked women. And frankly I don't see how there is anything wrong in that.
This is one of the most powerful podcasts I've seen in a bit, you really need to retitle this to something a bit more fitting for the topics agreed and discussed
i'm sorry but the audio from your end is weird. i've sensory issues so maybe its just me but theres a certain sharpness whenever youre speaking that i have to lower my volume to about a quarter for cause it just hurts my ears
*stop watching screens AS MUCH I’m not going to stop watching videos and movies but we’re all probably doing it to a degree that’s not healthy or making us happy
One of my favorite things to do is to just sit quietly in a room and watch it get darker as the sun sets. No screen, no lights, just dark and quiet. I used to do this as a kid 25-30 years ago. It’s very calming and because you’re focusing on the light changes in the room, it’s also very good with clearing the mind.
Finding out that my two most listened to podcasts are collaborating was a really pleasant surprise. I think I speak for everyone here that we're really glad for this goldmind of an episode. Thank you Chris :)
I used to make fun of people who were addicted to staring at their phones, then somehow during Covid 19 I went from listening to music during work, to listening to podcasts, to watching the podcasts, to listening/watching/commenting simultaneously. I’ll get home from work, take my boots off, open up TH-cam, and then somehow the entire evening disappears and I’m fucking pissed at myself for wasting so much of my time with my nose in my phone. I’m genuinely thinking of getting a flip phone at this point.
Eh, it seems like he's not really listening and instead focusing on the next question he will ask. @1:32:42 He asks Dr. K what Brain fog is, when he had just said its a low-level inflammation in the brain. This interviewer needs to take more time to listen so he can ask more relevant questions.
Just taking notes while I’m super high, excuse me. 4:54 Community 11:55 overstimulation and anhedonia 14:30 “the story that you tell yourself about the things that you can do” 16:35 social media not always being a positive emotional experience *I love Dr K’s ability to connect his thoughts and express himself so ficking eloquently 17:55 we all crave the approval of other human beings and now social media quantifies that 20:18 definition of addiction 21:50*hold up he’s actually talking about my diagnosisssss* Compulsions and OCD 26:00 the interviewer asks how to set boundaries around social media, and Dr K phrases it as gaining control of your desires. Love ittt
Dr K is the goat of mental health and psychology on TH-cam. I have watched lots of similar channels, each will have golden nuggets of knowledge once in a while, but I can confidently say I learn so much from each of his uploads.
I think that Dr. K is very good but if you've already done many therapies and read a lot of self-help, you might think that he does not go in-depth enough and might not learn anything new. I still watch his content sometimes because I'm curious to hear his particular stance on problems that I'm experiencing but I think that his main selling points are that he packages consistently good advice in a simple way and it's perfectly targeted for his audience.
@@nackedgrils9302 true I played videogames my whole life and only discovered him very recently. I have been down the same self improvement rabbit holes so a lot of it I already know and resonates w/ me. But undeniably this guy is great. Happy there is a niche space to merge excessive screen time and overall well being, lots of people do not realize how unhealthy their condition is.
Yeah, but the vast majority of people are not at this point, so this form is not just the best for his audience, it is what helps the most amount of people in general, who need an introductory level education, simple and accessible explanation, practical tools for various topics inside mental health and inner work. @@nackedgrils9302
As a Christian-- appreciated the note about the people who say "you didn't pray hard enough" as if spiritual help from God is something you have to work hard enough for.
Dr K - probably one of the most important content creators on the planet. “Humans have become intolerant to boredom”. How profound an observation. And great advice too - “give yourselves a small dose of boredom”. Taking this to the bank
I feel this way about a lot of my struggles. It's like I have an inherent need to into problem-solving or exploratory mode. I can't just be content with going through the motions in life. Can't just sit there either. So I try to channel all that energy into something that feels productive (like looking up How to Stop It).
I love your ability to ask questions during these interviews in a way that's actually helpful to your audience. For example, when you directly asked Dr K "What does someone who wants to improve their gut microbiome need to eat?", that was the exact same thought I had in my mind; and this is just one example of the many questions you asked Dr K during your chat. It shows that 1. you are actually actively listening to him and trying to process his thoughts and comments during the interview and 2. you try to put yourself in the mind of your average viewer and ask questions to your guests in a way that will benefit your audience and answer their burning questions that they're unable to ask as they sit and watch you behind the screen. Your ability to synthesis + summarise your guest's words shortly after they've answered and your ability to ask them such useful questions is the main reason I love your podcasts. Keep it up Chris!
Same here, now I don't feel like I'm missing anything out if I don't play a game, if I do decide to play it's after I've done all the hard tasks I have for the day and I'm more in control now thanks to Dr K's help
Basically everything ever sold at a live auction (the kind where people raise a hand to bid). Every "collectible" that's sold for more than original retail price.
Something that's recently occurred to me, and you two are onto it, but we've become so results oriented to the detriment of the process. We need to appreciate the journey as much as the destination. Good podcast, fellas. Thanks for sharing.
The thing I liked about this guy when I first saw him a few months back, was he seemed to grok the condition of gamers. Not accusing them of being violent mass shooters, or lonely incels, but working to understand and communicate that understanding to the suffering and raise them up. He’s on point. I may not always like how on point he is, but it’s the truth.
Reading. Reading has helped me a fuck ton with this. Shorts were the worst "innovation". Before id watch some anime, or play some video games, but youtube adding shorts has been the worst for my screentime. It is so god damn annoying, that ill open up youtube to listen to a podcast, or play a video essay in the background but the app boots up immeadiately into the shorts and ill go on a (hopefully) 15 minute tangent and forget what i came to do. Its probably the only time ive felt like a company is preying on my ADHD.
And yes it was hard to jump back into reading after basically 10 years of not reading for fun, so ill share what worked and didnt for me. 1. Experiment with genre and authors- i started by trying to read lord of the rings but it was hard getting through even 100 pages so i dropped it for the time being and picked up the way of kings by brandon sanderson and that hooked me. 2. Dont require yourself to read a certain amount, and remember to take breaks if you feel your attention waning put it down for a bit and come back later. 3. Dont leave off on a less interesting part, this is hard to manage sometimes, but i always try to leave off on a part that ill be excited to read the next day. 3. Self help is great, but if you read too much of it, itll start to feel like homework so i recommend spacing it out with another genre that interests you inbetween the self help books you read. Thats about all i got, but if anyone has some more tips id love to hear em
As a recovering addict, thank you so much for this episode. I'm going to follow Dr K and dive deeper. I'm a PEER Recovery Support Specialist in training and this is right on topic. Thank you for your time and valuable content. Have a blessed day. Say no to Heroin ❤️
Hey if you’re interested in stuff pertaining to addiction, I’d recommend checking out his two recent streams on addictions and trauma. From there, I’d highly recommend listening to the interviews from like three years ago on the channel. The interviews are the real money because we see the origins of traumas and how to cope with those emotions in real time. For example; I really loved “how to process trauma with CocoB” and “Dealing with a narcissistic father” or something like that
Good on kicking heroin, I can't seem to stop pharmacy Xanax. I went to rehab for and was sober for two months.. 5 years ago. Withdrawals kick my ass and I just don't have the willpower to dig deep and stop, I'm a productive dude, make enough to live. I hate society though, I love people though. I'm fascinated by the utter brutality of mankind, the more I find out, the more I hate.
@@TheXandemic Work out a plan with a medical professional who cares, you will burn out by powering through benzo withdrawals. The problems of the world is too much for one person to take on, don't dig yourself too much into that hole. There's shitty humans and there's awesome and loving humans, that duality will always be there, you get to chose how YOU act and WHO you surround yourself with, not what people do. Much love!
It's interesting listening to this episode because it's so obvious that Dr. K is super comfortable talking to a lot of people all day about these topics. He is so good at condensing the information into an easy to understand state verses some of there other PHDs or scientists who've been on here who can go on for a long time without having much of a change in energy or tone of voice. Maybe it's part of why Dr. K is successful is how energetic he is but this conversation really flowed well with a lot of questions without feeling rushed at any point. just really interesting overall and probably one of your best episodes. Should be included on a greatest hits album.
i am not a gamer, but i am addicted to youtube videos . I am concerned now that my addiction to listening to youtube influencers and experts is making my brain dissatisfied with socializing with humans IRL.
50:40 , Chris you have a new quote to bring up with other guests. "If you succeed and you made a sacrifice, it's very psychologically difficult to swallow that you didn't need to make the sacrifice in the first place" Dr.K Mind blown, I just realised I absolutely align my 'wins' to things I went through difficulty/grind to achieve
13:16 My guess is "tilting" comes from old-schoold pinball machines. You could shake the machine a little bit to influence where the ball went but if you moved it too much the sensors would detect a "tilt" and end the game. In fits of frustration a player might shake the machine too much and cause it to tilt, which is where the term tilting probably came to mean getting wigged out at a video game.
48:30 the "survivorship bias" factor in evaluating peoples' careers is real, and yes, it needs a catchy name. I think part of what you're getting at is that the people who are broken by the training/selection process are usually overlooked when looking at the successful outcomes (of those who get through ok). We need to ALSO remember though, that some of the most interesting successful people went through many failures along the way, until finally stumbling into something that turned out better. The best measure of life success may be in how well people can recover (and learn) from failure and keep trying. The corollary is that failing should not be seen as very important unless it is has permanent consequences. (To be fair, we also lack good information on how many people go from failure to even worse loss, despair and possibly total collapse. There are good reasons that people usually try to avoid failure.) The discussion somehow put me in mind of politicians in a filibuster debate. He (or she) who can hold their bladder the longest (and stay awake?) can win the vote, by timing it for when enough people on the other side have left the room... What makes for being successful can turn out to be weirdly trivial stuff.
This is a gold mine. I love all of the things you guys talked about in this video and I'm gonna listen to this again in the future because it's just THAT valueble. This is awesome u guys!
I don't if you ever read these commets but I hope you do so I'll say it again. "Best podcast on TH-cam." The right questions, the right guests,the amount of information you learn, quite astonishing.
1:22:39 I’m a registered nurse not a psychiatrist but yes to this!! They don’t teach you in nursing school how to mentally deal with verbal and physical assault. And learning those tools makes all the difference in being able to cope at your job!
I would die to have the luck of speaking with Dr K, he's so incredibly insightful and has already helped me so much for over a year without ever interacting with me
I've find ads help me to stop scrolling on social media. I dislike ads, so if I see them, I feel more inclined to stop scrolling. I use them as a clean stopping point.
55:00 woah... This hit me hard. I now wonder what I got myself into, because his words are true: Ignorance is suffering. Can you try easy? There is almost always a way that makes it all easy once you learned it. "Succeed or give up" is toxic, because it states that when you fail, you gave up. You did not try "hard" enough. *But what´s really going on:* You try hard on the wrong things out of ignorance - and thus end in suffering. Great episode!!!!
There's no shame in trying things that don't work and giving them up. It's stupid to think you need to follow everything through to the end no matter how ill-advised or how wrong it feels otherwise you are a "quitter"
I feel quite emotional after watching that; I wrestle with 'what's the point?' I've seen society change since the 60's and it's not all for the best. thanks ... David
Good episode, thank you for this. This made me realise that I've definitely been on screens for way too many hours each day. When I reflect upon my motivation levels for real life, they have definitely dropped in comparison to how I was a few years ago. I've just set up a plan for a daily limit of screen time starting tomorrow and will replace that time with more productive activities and allocate a few moments throughout the day to 'boredom training' too.
@@blairthompson6227 going pretty well so far :) reading and exercising a bit more, focusing on creating more than consuming. Still slip into the occasional 'where did the time go' amount of mindless scrolling some days but better overall.
This conversation is a gem and is so insightful with practical tips to win against the billion dollar products meant to keep us awake and mess up our lifestyles. Thank you both!❤
Another great interview. Love your questions and guest today. I thought the reframing on how "just because it's difficult doesn't make it meaningful" was awesome. The example about college and studying is also backed by another professor's video I saw (I think he was from Standford) who like 8 years ago shared that studying "harder" isn't necessarily helpful. Studying shorter, more effectively, works better and that could feel "easier". The recontextualization of how social media and p*rn are "compulsive" addictions also makes sense. I also come up with great ideas while showering, that's how I plan my day and life lol thought I was special.
The statement Dr K made about how if people made huge sacrifices value whatever it is more, gave me chills. I know that I read very fast and I learned a long time ago not to tell people (particularly my students) just how fast. People either don't believe me, insist I must not read well, or get resentful and mad. To me, it's not a big deal, it's just what I do.
"Crowd sourcing your sense of self-worth to the world around you is a sure fire way to be miserable." This is going to stick with me for the rest of my life.
At the same time it’s impossible to create intrinsic self worth without social connections. It’s a fine line to navigate by choosing quality friends who give you positive reinforcement
Finally connecting all the dots. Just need to find a poop donor to fix life long issues no one has been able to resolve completely for me yet. . You both are another level podcast. I got here from The Diary of a CEO podcast... and 2h of screen time just flew by. Thank you so much, Chris and Dr. K! 💯
@@brianmeen2158 everything is Wrong with gaming. It Tricks your mind into thinking you are doing something worthwhile but you are just Wasting your Best years in Front of a Screenshots. Time is short dont waste it casually like this
I’ve managed to eliminate pretty much every bad habit I’ve had. Porn, staying up late watching TH-cam, video games, social media and so on. I still struggle with TH-cam addiction though. There’s so many better things I could be doing with my time instead of sitting on my phone watching TH-cam for 6-8 hours a day.
Yes you can have loads of other things you could be doing but remember that eradicating everything isn’t the answer unless you have a health addiction to replace it with. Don’t view every pass time as a negative thing as well.
Yeah I agree, it's like my brain has labelled TH-cam as this healthy thing that couldn't possibly harm me but I end up binge watching it for hours upon hours on end and lose my sense of time
If the funds allow, I'd heavily suggest TH-cam premium purely for the background play - I'm heavily TH-cam addicted as well, but being able to shut my phone off and have these videos play in the background allows me to do the things I need to do that day without getting sucked in
Around the 53 minute mark where they speak on the bias of difficulty, was so deeply enriching. That which is valuable doesn’t need to be gained by great difficulty.
To the point of "why try hard if I can still lose", I think this is where Simon Sinek's "why" concept shines. If you are playing the infinite game, there is no losing as there is no winning. Just the process of the games itself. Trust the process, enjoy your progress.
It doesn't even have to be millions. It can be just 100, and it will feel like a million. Or it can be 5 or 10 that has tens, hundreds, or thousands of likes.
Thank you! This was a great discussion. I'm struggling to have less screen time,and I feel like I'm slowing down with my goals. But it's not video games, it's social media and you tube 😄
I bloody loved this podcast episode. I just made a video about deleting social media and how my mind is SO much more important than all of these companies. Focus and attention is a rare and valuable skill in this modern world, if you can practice boredom and truly learn to be with yourself, and put your mind towards something meaningful and valuable , damn..... I believe you will create magic.
54:00 This feels so important for dialogue between parents and their kids. If you could go back to high school and do it all again, it would be so easy with the knowledge you have now. But it's hard for your kids because they haven't yet learned the tools to deal with problems that they are now encountering for the first time. In hindsight the solutions look obvious.
If we should learn to tolerate boredom, it has to be explained what the use of boredom is. I believe it is much better to be able to tolerate extended periods without external stimulation.This is very different from boredom and is the source of many of the greatest and most profound thoughts.
Great interview with a light and comic tone! I didnt know Chris' channel and I was positively surprised with your curiosity and good questions! Thanks for having Dr. K and helping him to walk through his knowledge and provide to the community =D
01:51:00 "How to know, what you *want to want*" - Reach the end of thought, get thoughtful, then aware of what you're thinking of and why, then be present/mindful - Be aware/mindful when you get an inptut. - Then though is clear, you can see. *What do you want ?*
DrK is one of the most clear, fun, concise, knowledgable doctor/human I’ve ever listened to. THANK YOU. Chard to believe he had any issues getting thru medical school but lucky he did, coz it and addiction to gaming got him in this niche and out to us! ❤️💯❤️💯❤️💯❤️💯❤️💯❤️
oh hell yeah! best collab, good to see Dr.K expanding to different people other than twitch, I really want Huberman Labs and him to collab too! I love this!
Getting used to boredome is great advice. I just tried putting my phone away and going for a walk and hopefully i can stop being afraid of being bored incrementally.
This is sort of a funny story: I discovered Dr. K by accident while looking up the Hogwarts Legacy game on TH-cam 😆…It’s been almost a year since then and I have been listening to him every week at the very least. Thank you for your work Dr. K, and thank you Chris for inviting him.
This is the most important video i have ever seen. Frok now on, I wanna use the reward circuit for good things like healthy habits instead of yt shorts for 2 hrs AAAAAA
I’m currently doing my masters of clinical psychology and writing a systematic review of the relationship between basic psychological needs and internet gaming disorder symptoms. It’s a very interesting topic that I think could help inform risk, prevention, diagnostics, and treatment for IGD in the future
One thing that has helped me love doing mundane tasks is to think and feel that 'I am getting to do it' that these things are good for my health. Let's say, washing dishes, you are getting to wash dishes, what if you were not capable in some ways, you could not even wash dishes! And just be there and enjoy the task, try and wash your dishes in a best possible way, in most efficient way, and you will enjoy it. Whatever you are setting out to do, think it is impacting you in a positive way, same goes for negative habits, recognise how they are taking away from your health or positive things that you have which you just need to maintain, just by not doing those bad habits you are actually positively impacting your body that is good for you, and that you are getting to do those things, you have intelligence that has made you aware of these things and you are listening to it, so you are respecting yourself. And hard tasks are just brain exercises, even boring tasks are testing your ability to command yourself.
Tilting is not the yips. Tilting is playing bad because you are upset (usually from something that happened in the game). The yips is just for some reason on that day you fail to do things that otherwise are so easy. The yips could cause you to tilt.
One thing I wanted to note around the 10:45 mark is Dr K talks about how the faster the reward the more reinforced it is, which is true, but, the harder the reward is to obtain, the more time and effort it takes to achieve, the better the reward. Dopamine isn't the reward itself it's what drives you to work towards completing a goal. It's excitatory, meaning it stimulates your mind. The reward itself for completing a goal is endorphins, which are inhibitory, and relax the mind and you feel good for accomplishing something.
So glad to finally get this episode done. Dr K is one of my most requested guests, he’s a beast. Enjoy! Here’s the timestamps:
00:00 Intro
02:04 What Society Misunderstands About Screen Addiction
14:47 Can You Be Addicted to Social Media?
25:39 Setting Healthy Boundaries with Gaming & Social Media
31:39 Why Nobody Should Take Their Phone to the Bathroom
43:58 Learning From Social Media High Performers
56:25 Helping People Who Constantly Lose
1:01:07 Is There Evidence for Dopamine Fasting?
1:06:18 Why Porn Use is So Misunderstood
1:22:50 How Porn Impacts Brain Development
1:26:27 Is Screen Time Detrimental to Sleep?
1:30:12 Explaining Brain Fog & How to Fix It
1:46:17 Is it Harder to Find Purpose in Today’s World?
1:55:59 Where to Find Dr K
1:11:22 Well that's weird because when I'm feeling worthless, the last thing I can be bothered with is an orgasm. In fact I just don't get horny at all. Porn and masturbation are the last thing I can be bothered with, in that mindset. I'd rather stare at a wall and think about all the mistakes I made today. lol
I look at porn, a lot, for the simple reason that I'm attracted to women and I like looking at them when I'm horny. Is it really any different to closing my eyes and looking at them in my head? Not in my opinion. In fact, using your imagination makes orgasm easier if anything. You can create a whole scenario.
I just like looking at pretty, naked women.
And frankly I don't see how there is anything wrong in that.
Great crossover. Thanks for having him on the show!
If you have him on again: an in-depth talk about dating dynamics would be really interesting.
I've decided to watch this episode everyday. Really motivated me to stay focused. Appreciate big bruh.
This is one of the most powerful podcasts I've seen in a bit, you really need to retitle this to something a bit more fitting for the topics agreed and discussed
i'm sorry but the audio from your end is weird. i've sensory issues so maybe its just me but theres a certain sharpness whenever youre speaking that i have to lower my volume to about a quarter for cause it just hurts my ears
Thank you for the great conversation 💚
Dr. K. I need your help on how to limit screen time while watching you on a screen.
Thank you so much Dr K ❤
Too bad that healthygamer is a racist company as dr K complains about "too many white patients".
You’re a hero. Thanks mate
Nice! The Green Heart Chakra
Currently Watching a screen to show me how to stop watching screens.
Your not alone
*stop watching screens AS MUCH
I’m not going to stop watching videos and movies but we’re all probably doing it to a degree that’s not healthy or making us happy
Welcome to the future.
Welcome to the circle of life Simba
The irony of this had me laughing to myself.... Glad to see I'm not alone 😂
So far I've listened to 237 podcasts about how to overcome my podcast addiction. I'm making real progress
The sheer amount of good Dr K must have done for society across all of his content is incalculable. Look forward to this one
Not just his content but his research and professional outreach too!
He is the internet’s surrogate father hahah
@@theowainwright7406 LOL
International! He’s great!!!
One of my favorite things to do is to just sit quietly in a room and watch it get darker as the sun sets. No screen, no lights, just dark and quiet. I used to do this as a kid 25-30 years ago. It’s very calming and because you’re focusing on the light changes in the room, it’s also very good with clearing the mind.
This sounds amazing
I think this tactic would be way better if you were sitting outside.
Cute i would like to share this habit with someone
watch the sunset its much more fun this is like dopamine minimising
Finding out that my two most listened to podcasts are collaborating was a really pleasant surprise. I think I speak for everyone here that we're really glad for this goldmind of an episode. Thank you Chris :)
Me too 🎉
You’re goddamn right
I used to make fun of people who were addicted to staring at their phones, then somehow during Covid 19 I went from listening to music during work, to listening to podcasts, to watching the podcasts, to listening/watching/commenting simultaneously. I’ll get home from work, take my boots off, open up TH-cam, and then somehow the entire evening disappears and I’m fucking pissed at myself for wasting so much of my time with my nose in my phone. I’m genuinely thinking of getting a flip phone at this point.
I’ve been so hyped for this episode to drop! Big fan of you both 🔥
Oh man Cole u also follow both these guys. Awesome
Oh man cole when did you became a middle aged man, where's my eboy guitarist homie? Anyway didn't thought I'll see you here good to have you
Chris Williamson is one hell of an interviewer and he keeps improving. This interview shows it again
no, he is just one another one interviewer.
Eh, it seems like he's not really listening and instead focusing on the next question he will ask. @1:32:42 He asks Dr. K what Brain fog is, when he had just said its a low-level inflammation in the brain. This interviewer needs to take more time to listen so he can ask more relevant questions.
@@XathurusI mean he’s human, we can’t expect him to be perfect but he does a really good job overall
@@Xathurus Agree, like when he asked about porn addiction out of nowhere without any words to change the subject I laughed out loud
He has brain fog then 😊@@Xathurus
Just taking notes while I’m super high, excuse me.
4:54 Community
11:55 overstimulation and anhedonia
14:30 “the story that you tell yourself about the things that you can do”
16:35 social media not always being a positive emotional experience
*I love Dr K’s ability to connect his thoughts and express himself so ficking eloquently
17:55 we all crave the approval of other human beings and now social media quantifies that
20:18 definition of addiction
21:50*hold up he’s actually talking about my diagnosisssss*
Compulsions and OCD
26:00 the interviewer asks how to set boundaries around social media, and Dr K phrases it as gaining control of your desires. Love ittt
well done, you still nailed it plus love your notes to self lol x
Dr K is the goat of mental health and psychology on TH-cam. I have watched lots of similar channels, each will have golden nuggets of knowledge once in a while, but I can confidently say I learn so much from each of his uploads.
💚
Agree!
I think that Dr. K is very good but if you've already done many therapies and read a lot of self-help, you might think that he does not go in-depth enough and might not learn anything new. I still watch his content sometimes because I'm curious to hear his particular stance on problems that I'm experiencing but I think that his main selling points are that he packages consistently good advice in a simple way and it's perfectly targeted for his audience.
@@nackedgrils9302 true I played videogames my whole life and only discovered him very recently. I have been down the same self improvement rabbit holes so a lot of it I already know and resonates w/ me. But undeniably this guy is great. Happy there is a niche space to merge excessive screen time and overall well being, lots of people do not realize how unhealthy their condition is.
Yeah, but the vast majority of people are not at this point, so this form is not just the best for his audience, it is what helps the most amount of people in general, who need an introductory level education, simple and accessible explanation, practical tools for various topics inside mental health and inner work. @@nackedgrils9302
As a Christian-- appreciated the note about the people who say "you didn't pray hard enough" as if spiritual help from God is something you have to work hard enough for.
I always feel like I'm not ____ enough. But I'm just too burnt out to do anything well enoughl
We dont always need to try harder, "What we really need is just a tiny bit of help"
That hit.
This was pure gold. Felt like I had to pull out my phone to take notes every 5 minutes for the whole 2 hours. Thanks guys, incredible stuff.
Dr K - probably one of the most important content creators on the planet.
“Humans have become intolerant to boredom”.
How profound an observation.
And great advice too - “give yourselves a small dose of boredom”.
Taking this to the bank
70 % of my phone use is looking How to stop it
Put the phone down and touch grass
I feel this way about a lot of my struggles. It's like I have an inherent need to into problem-solving or exploratory mode. I can't just be content with going through the motions in life. Can't just sit there either. So I try to channel all that energy into something that feels productive (like looking up How to Stop It).
I love your ability to ask questions during these interviews in a way that's actually helpful to your audience. For example, when you directly asked Dr K "What does someone who wants to improve their gut microbiome need to eat?", that was the exact same thought I had in my mind; and this is just one example of the many questions you asked Dr K during your chat. It shows that 1. you are actually actively listening to him and trying to process his thoughts and comments during the interview and 2. you try to put yourself in the mind of your average viewer and ask questions to your guests in a way that will benefit your audience and answer their burning questions that they're unable to ask as they sit and watch you behind the screen. Your ability to synthesis + summarise your guest's words shortly after they've answered and your ability to ask them such useful questions is the main reason I love your podcasts. Keep it up Chris!
As a gamer who's been following Dr. K's work for years, gotta admit I was not expecting this collab! Thank you ✨️
@@cu11en76 not many compared to a few years ago. Probably max 8-10 now. Used to be more 30-40ish
Same here, now I don't feel like I'm missing anything out if I don't play a game, if I do decide to play it's after I've done all the hard tasks I have for the day and I'm more in control now thanks to Dr K's help
"Don't try hard, try easy" is mindblowing.
Dr. K and Healthy Gamer are such a game changer in the mental health space. My life was changed by them. I wish them the utmost success.
Jup, he also showed me what a therapist actually should be like, i only ever had bad ones😊
@@nolandderlugner1351 does mobile phone really fcuk with our mind ?
If I wasn't mindlessly scrolling I never would have found this episode.
How much of it did you watch?
Thou shall find what thy needs
@@shawndesjardins4904 a few minutes and then I went back to scrolling
53:02 "this isn't valuable, this is just difficult to get" that's absolute gold!
Basically everything ever sold at a live auction (the kind where people raise a hand to bid). Every "collectible" that's sold for more than original retail price.
@@HarmonicWave kaviar etc sold as a delicacy .. only an illusion of what has worth..
I love Dr K he has been a gift to humanity
Something that's recently occurred to me, and you two are onto it, but we've become so results oriented to the detriment of the process. We need to appreciate the journey as much as the destination. Good podcast, fellas. Thanks for sharing.
"The man who loves walking will walk further than the man who loves the destination."
@@WanderTheNomad that's kinda the entire idea behind buddhism/hinduism/stoicism lol
The thing I liked about this guy when I first saw him a few months back, was he seemed to grok the condition of gamers. Not accusing them of being violent mass shooters, or lonely incels, but working to understand and communicate that understanding to the suffering and raise them up.
He’s on point. I may not always like how on point he is, but it’s the truth.
Reading. Reading has helped me a fuck ton with this. Shorts were the worst "innovation". Before id watch some anime, or play some video games, but youtube adding shorts has been the worst for my screentime. It is so god damn annoying, that ill open up youtube to listen to a podcast, or play a video essay in the background but the app boots up immeadiately into the shorts and ill go on a (hopefully) 15 minute tangent and forget what i came to do. Its probably the only time ive felt like a company is preying on my ADHD.
And yes it was hard to jump back into reading after basically 10 years of not reading for fun, so ill share what worked and didnt for me.
1. Experiment with genre and authors- i started by trying to read lord of the rings but it was hard getting through even 100 pages so i dropped it for the time being and picked up the way of kings by brandon sanderson and that hooked me.
2. Dont require yourself to read a certain amount, and remember to take breaks if you feel your attention waning put it down for a bit and come back later.
3. Dont leave off on a less interesting part, this is hard to manage sometimes, but i always try to leave off on a part that ill be excited to read the next day.
3. Self help is great, but if you read too much of it, itll start to feel like homework so i recommend spacing it out with another genre that interests you inbetween the self help books you read.
Thats about all i got, but if anyone has some more tips id love to hear em
@MrDman60644 super useful. Thank you
As a recovering addict, thank you so much for this episode. I'm going to follow Dr K and dive deeper. I'm a PEER Recovery Support Specialist in training and this is right on topic. Thank you for your time and valuable content. Have a blessed day. Say no to Heroin ❤️
Hey if you’re interested in stuff pertaining to addiction, I’d recommend checking out his two recent streams on addictions and trauma. From there, I’d highly recommend listening to the interviews from like three years ago on the channel. The interviews are the real money because we see the origins of traumas and how to cope with those emotions in real time.
For example; I really loved “how to process trauma with CocoB” and “Dealing with a narcissistic father” or something like that
Good on kicking heroin, I can't seem to stop pharmacy Xanax. I went to rehab for and was sober for two months.. 5 years ago. Withdrawals kick my ass and I just don't have the willpower to dig deep and stop, I'm a productive dude, make enough to live. I hate society though, I love people though. I'm fascinated by the utter brutality of mankind, the more I find out, the more I hate.
Good luck wish you were
@@TheXandemic Work out a plan with a medical professional who cares, you will burn out by powering through benzo withdrawals. The problems of the world is too much for one person to take on, don't dig yourself too much into that hole. There's shitty humans and there's awesome and loving humans, that duality will always be there, you get to chose how YOU act and WHO you surround yourself with, not what people do. Much love!
@@erikarnesen6052 I'm gonna have to find some free health care.
It's interesting listening to this episode because it's so obvious that Dr. K is super comfortable talking to a lot of people all day about these topics. He is so good at condensing the information into an easy to understand state verses some of there other PHDs or scientists who've been on here who can go on for a long time without having much of a change in energy or tone of voice. Maybe it's part of why Dr. K is successful is how energetic he is but this conversation really flowed well with a lot of questions without feeling rushed at any point. just really interesting overall and probably one of your best episodes. Should be included on a greatest hits album.
This ^
i am not a gamer, but i am addicted to youtube videos . I am concerned now that my addiction to listening to youtube influencers and experts is making my brain dissatisfied with socializing with humans IRL.
50:40 , Chris you have a new quote to bring up with other guests.
"If you succeed and you made a sacrifice, it's very psychologically difficult to swallow that you didn't need to make the sacrifice in the first place" Dr.K
Mind blown, I just realised I absolutely align my 'wins' to things I went through difficulty/grind to achieve
100% the survivorship bias on success meaning sacrifice was deep
Probably the only video anyone ever needs to fix a lot of things in their life. One of the best videos out there!
13:16 My guess is "tilting" comes from old-schoold pinball machines. You could shake the machine a little bit to influence where the ball went but if you moved it too much the sensors would detect a "tilt" and end the game. In fits of frustration a player might shake the machine too much and cause it to tilt, which is where the term tilting probably came to mean getting wigged out at a video game.
I really hope that a lot of people listen to this! in 5 years time could be one of most played episode of your channel Chris
48:30 the "survivorship bias" factor in evaluating peoples' careers is real, and yes, it needs a catchy name. I think part of what you're getting at is that the people who are broken by the training/selection process are usually overlooked when looking at the successful outcomes (of those who get through ok). We need to ALSO remember though, that some of the most interesting successful people went through many failures along the way, until finally stumbling into something that turned out better. The best measure of life success may be in how well people can recover (and learn) from failure and keep trying. The corollary is that failing should not be seen as very important unless it is has permanent consequences. (To be fair, we also lack good information on how many people go from failure to even worse loss, despair and possibly total collapse. There are good reasons that people usually try to avoid failure.)
The discussion somehow put me in mind of politicians in a filibuster debate. He (or she) who can hold their bladder the longest (and stay awake?) can win the vote, by timing it for when enough people on the other side have left the room... What makes for being successful can turn out to be weirdly trivial stuff.
The portion about something being difficult, and something being valuable, and how those don’t always match up; will stick w me forever
This is a gold mine. I love all of the things you guys talked about in this video and I'm gonna listen to this again in the future because it's just THAT valueble. This is awesome u guys!
Ever since Dr. K had his stream with Destiny I've been waiting for this video to drop!!
The same! Dr. K. for President! 🤣
I don't if you ever read these commets but I hope you do so I'll say it again. "Best podcast on TH-cam." The right questions, the right guests,the amount of information you learn, quite astonishing.
1:22:39 I’m a registered nurse not a psychiatrist but yes to this!! They don’t teach you in nursing school how to mentally deal with verbal and physical assault. And learning those tools makes all the difference in being able to cope at your job!
I would die to have the luck of speaking with Dr K, he's so incredibly insightful and has already helped me so much for over a year without ever interacting with me
This is like two separate worlds coming together. I’m so excited for this conversation.
Ads feed into the addiction. They compell me to pull out my phone, engage to skip, and feel instant extremely temporary relief
I've find ads help me to stop scrolling on social media. I dislike ads, so if I see them, I feel more inclined to stop scrolling. I use them as a clean stopping point.
Man, I wasn't expecting Dr. K to become a guest here, but I am so happy. Good stuff, great episode.
55:00 woah... This hit me hard. I now wonder what I got myself into, because his words are true:
Ignorance is suffering. Can you try easy? There is almost always a way that makes it all easy once you learned it. "Succeed or give up" is toxic, because it states that when you fail, you gave up. You did not try "hard" enough. *But what´s really going on:*
You try hard on the wrong things out of ignorance - and thus end in suffering.
Great episode!!!!
There's no shame in trying things that don't work and giving them up. It's stupid to think you need to follow everything through to the end no matter how ill-advised or how wrong it feels otherwise you are a "quitter"
came here for the screen addiction part but got so much more out of this. nice content
Chris is becoming one of the best podcast on this website
“Be with the poop” is now my go-to morning mantra to help set up a mindful, present day. Sincerely thanks, guys! Great, useful convo.
"You have trained your muscles to run a marathon, but have you trained your brain to stare at a wall for an hour?" What a brilliant way of putting it
I feel quite emotional after watching that; I wrestle with 'what's the point?' I've seen society change since the 60's and it's not all for the best.
thanks ... David
Good episode, thank you for this. This made me realise that I've definitely been on screens for way too many hours each day. When I reflect upon my motivation levels for real life, they have definitely dropped in comparison to how I was a few years ago. I've just set up a plan for a daily limit of screen time starting tomorrow and will replace that time with more productive activities and allocate a few moments throughout the day to 'boredom training' too.
How's this going??
@@blairthompson6227 going pretty well so far :) reading and exercising a bit more, focusing on creating more than consuming. Still slip into the occasional 'where did the time go' amount of mindless scrolling some days but better overall.
This conversation is a gem and is so insightful with practical tips to win against the billion dollar products meant to keep us awake and mess up our lifestyles. Thank you both!❤
Probably your best episode yet (in my opinion). Thank you for all the priceless information Chris!
Another great interview. Love your questions and guest today. I thought the reframing on how "just because it's difficult doesn't make it meaningful" was awesome. The example about college and studying is also backed by another professor's video I saw (I think he was from Standford) who like 8 years ago shared that studying "harder" isn't necessarily helpful. Studying shorter, more effectively, works better and that could feel "easier".
The recontextualization of how social media and p*rn are "compulsive" addictions also makes sense. I also come up with great ideas while showering, that's how I plan my day and life lol thought I was special.
Main takeaway... Be with the poop 💩!
Thanks Chris and Dr. K., appreciate both your channels and ongoing work. 😊
The statement Dr K made about how if people made huge sacrifices value whatever it is more, gave me chills. I know that I read very fast and I learned a long time ago not to tell people (particularly my students) just how fast. People either don't believe me, insist I must not read well, or get resentful and mad. To me, it's not a big deal, it's just what I do.
How do you do it?
I love Dr. K! I found him two years ago and completely changed the trajectory of my life.
"Crowd sourcing your sense of self-worth to the world around you is a sure fire way to be miserable."
This is going to stick with me for the rest of my life.
At the same time it’s impossible to create intrinsic self worth without social connections. It’s a fine line to navigate by choosing quality friends who give you positive reinforcement
Finally connecting all the dots. Just need to find a poop donor to fix life long issues no one has been able to resolve completely for me yet. . You both are another level podcast. I got here from The Diary of a CEO podcast... and 2h of screen time just flew by. Thank you so much, Chris and Dr. K! 💯
As a gamer for the last 10 years and needs to get out of it. This video is a god send for me and anyone that wants to break the habit
@@brianmeen2158 everything is Wrong with gaming. It Tricks your mind into thinking you are doing something worthwhile but you are just Wasting your Best years in Front of a Screenshots. Time is short dont waste it casually like this
@@svenmuller5332do you watch movies or tv shows?
Not a gamer, but have been a big fan of Healthy Gamer for quite some time. Cool to see this!
I’ve managed to eliminate pretty much every bad habit I’ve had. Porn, staying up late watching TH-cam, video games, social media and so on. I still struggle with TH-cam addiction though. There’s so many better things I could be doing with my time instead of sitting on my phone watching TH-cam for 6-8 hours a day.
Yes you can have loads of other things you could be doing but remember that eradicating everything isn’t the answer unless you have a health addiction to replace it with. Don’t view every pass time as a negative thing as well.
I think 2 to 4 hours of intentionally planning to do something feels much better than 6 to 8 hours of just happening to do it when you have free time
Yeah I agree, it's like my brain has labelled TH-cam as this healthy thing that couldn't possibly harm me but I end up binge watching it for hours upon hours on end and lose my sense of time
Read doctor Gabor Mate to learn more on what your mind/body/soul is actually looking for
If the funds allow, I'd heavily suggest TH-cam premium purely for the background play - I'm heavily TH-cam addicted as well, but being able to shut my phone off and have these videos play in the background allows me to do the things I need to do that day without getting sucked in
I never expected these two to link up for some reason. Sweet!
Worlds colliding! I love this. You two work well together. I needed this
I’ve been waiting for a conversation with you two forever, I knew it would happen one day. Glad to see it finally happen!
Was so excited for this one and Chris did not disappoint! A great interviewer through and through
Around the 53 minute mark where they speak on the bias of difficulty, was so deeply enriching.
That which is valuable doesn’t need to be gained by great difficulty.
43:58 This segment is so key and super insightful. Well done! 👏
Yes! LOVE that Dr. K went on this podcast! So hyped for this episode!
To the point of "why try hard if I can still lose", I think this is where Simon Sinek's "why" concept shines. If you are playing the infinite game, there is no losing as there is no winning. Just the process of the games itself. Trust the process, enjoy your progress.
Dr. k is a genius. His advice is life changing. I wish other psychiatrists were like him.❤
The human brain is not designed to take criticism from millions of people. Nice. And yes the negative comments hit the hardest 🔥
Now we all can get the celebrity treatment but without any of the perks!
It doesn't even have to be millions. It can be just 100, and it will feel like a million. Or it can be 5 or 10 that has tens, hundreds, or thousands of likes.
Thank you! This was a great discussion. I'm struggling to have less screen time,and I feel like I'm slowing down with my goals. But it's not video games, it's social media and you tube 😄
Absolutely great podcast!
I'm gonna have to watch it again later to write down some of the amazingly profound quotes that were said here.
I bloody loved this podcast episode. I just made a video about deleting social media and how my mind is SO much more important than all of these companies. Focus and attention is a rare and valuable skill in this modern world, if you can practice boredom and truly learn to be with yourself, and put your mind towards something meaningful and valuable , damn..... I believe you will create magic.
54:00 This feels so important for dialogue between parents and their kids. If you could go back to high school and do it all again, it would be so easy with the knowledge you have now. But it's hard for your kids because they haven't yet learned the tools to deal with problems that they are now encountering for the first time. In hindsight the solutions look obvious.
If we should learn to tolerate boredom, it has to be explained what the use of boredom is. I believe it is much better to be able to tolerate extended periods without external stimulation.This is very different from boredom and is the source of many of the greatest and most profound thoughts.
Yes! That’s what he means and it’s a great point. They went night level on these topics but there is depth that can make a difference.
Great interview with a light and comic tone!
I didnt know Chris' channel and I was positively surprised with your curiosity and good questions!
Thanks for having Dr. K and helping him to walk through his knowledge and provide to the community =D
Have been waiting for Dr K forever!
01:51:00
"How to know, what you *want to want*"
- Reach the end of thought, get thoughtful, then aware of what you're thinking of and why, then be present/mindful
- Be aware/mindful when you get an inptut.
- Then though is clear, you can see.
*What do you want ?*
I was just done watching another Dr K video. I love this man.
DrK is one of the most clear, fun, concise, knowledgable doctor/human I’ve ever listened to. THANK YOU. Chard to believe he had any issues getting thru medical school but lucky he did, coz it and addiction to gaming got him in this niche and out to us! ❤️💯❤️💯❤️💯❤️💯❤️💯❤️
One of your best episodes, love both your guys' content so this interview was a treat!
oh hell yeah! best collab, good to see Dr.K expanding to different people other than twitch, I really want Huberman Labs and him to collab too! I love this!
Thank you for helping everyone learn so much. I can see the benefits of being a podcaster
Great interview sir, Dr. K had a lot of impact on my life. I meet a professional therapist and he does not even come close to the expertise of Dr. K.
This is like THE ultimate podcast
I like that you cut to the chase right at the beginning of the interview without wasting time for intro and small talk.
Getting used to boredome is great advice. I just tried putting my phone away and going for a walk and hopefully i can stop being afraid of being bored incrementally.
I hope “tolerance with boredom” becomes a movement! The new health craze, like ice baths!
Dont try hard... try easy! you just blew the entire basis of my life to pieces! (This is a happy comment)
So weird seeing these two together when I love both their work separately so much.
This is sort of a funny story: I discovered Dr. K by accident while looking up the Hogwarts Legacy game on TH-cam 😆…It’s been almost a year since then and I have been listening to him every week at the very least. Thank you for your work Dr. K, and thank you Chris for inviting him.
thank you for doing what you do! this has been one of my favorite podcasts 👏🏾
Man I should have subscribed several podcasts back. Great job Chris!
Dr K making his name out and getting that recognition he deserves is what I love to see. We love Dr K
This is the most important video i have ever seen. Frok now on, I wanna use the reward circuit for good things like healthy habits instead of yt shorts for 2 hrs
AAAAAA
I’m currently doing my masters of clinical psychology and writing a systematic review of the relationship between basic psychological needs and internet gaming disorder symptoms. It’s a very interesting topic that I think could help inform risk, prevention, diagnostics, and treatment for IGD in the future
One thing that has helped me love doing mundane tasks is to think and feel that 'I am getting to do it' that these things are good for my health. Let's say, washing dishes, you are getting to wash dishes, what if you were not capable in some ways, you could not even wash dishes! And just be there and enjoy the task, try and wash your dishes in a best possible way, in most efficient way, and you will enjoy it. Whatever you are setting out to do, think it is impacting you in a positive way, same goes for negative habits, recognise how they are taking away from your health or positive things that you have which you just need to maintain, just by not doing those bad habits you are actually positively impacting your body that is good for you, and that you are getting to do those things, you have intelligence that has made you aware of these things and you are listening to it, so you are respecting yourself. And hard tasks are just brain exercises, even boring tasks are testing your ability to command yourself.
Tilting is not the yips. Tilting is playing bad because you are upset (usually from something that happened in the game). The yips is just for some reason on that day you fail to do things that otherwise are so easy. The yips could cause you to tilt.
One thing I wanted to note around the 10:45 mark is Dr K talks about how the faster the reward the more reinforced it is, which is true, but, the harder the reward is to obtain, the more time and effort it takes to achieve, the better the reward. Dopamine isn't the reward itself it's what drives you to work towards completing a goal. It's excitatory, meaning it stimulates your mind. The reward itself for completing a goal is endorphins, which are inhibitory, and relax the mind and you feel good for accomplishing something.