I stopped looking at social media about 14 months ago. Couldnt take it anymore. The negativity, comparisons, and stuff that was *too* positive for me to handle.
@@Osomote I feel better. A weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I needed a break. Too many posts about covid, politics, and people dying. Then other messages about ppl vacationing,getting married and and other success while I was stuck in the house. I know that some of the posts are lies for likes, but they still affected me. I needed to fall back. The downside is that people were/are worried about me because I fell off with no warning.
As a 35 year old with close Sisters ranging from 22 to 44, I highly recommend that 20-somethings focus less on wanting to be part of a group or "crew" and more on cultivating individual sisterhoods with people from different backgrounds (race, religions, socio-economic statuses, careers, living in different countries, married/single, kids/no kids etc) .... I did this without consciously thinking about it and it has ENRICHED my life in many ways. Building friendships with so many very different women has shown me that life REALLY isn't a race! Some of us are the rich aunt and killing it work-wise, whilst others have paused careers to have kids for the rich aunts to dote on! Some are in 10-year marriages whilst others have barely dated. I knew some of my friends who have kids pre-parenthood whilst I met others during pregnancy or well into their child-rearing, and I know a number of women who cannot or don't want to have kids. Some people's relationships/marriages have lasted whilst some fell apart quickly. I'm watching and learning from them as they watch and learn from me. There's no lateness when it comes to blooming... "For every season, there is a time". It makes you comfortable where you are when you can love and accept others where THEY are. Regarding the dilemma: Most of my close relationships are in the 10-25 years range which is amazing given that I met some at school, one or two at uni, one on a personality matching dating site(!), was introduced to one on Facebook by another Facebook friend's mother so we could talk about Scandal together (and now I'm her 12-year-old's godmother!). I met one via her TH-cam channel, met one at a coaching training event etc. People are always surprised when I'm like "off to America for a month!" or "just going to see my friend in India for a couple of weeks!" or "my friend and god-daughter are coming from Germany for a week". Like I said, I didn't do it intentionally but I would have if I'd known better in my twenties! All this to say that life is bizarre and unpredictable and wonderful all at once! I agree that therapy will help you address the past bullying. After that, be brave and try (as trite as it may sound) because someone is always waiting out there, ready to love you! It may even be your pasts that bring you together in the future. You are welcome to message me if you want to start the baby-steps of building a virtual bond with someone outside of family! ♥ 🙏🏾
Wow, great advice. Probably the best comment on here, thank you for sharing :) You sound similar to my Mum, she has friends all around the world and of various ages. Growing up, we would always have so many of her friends visit us from overseas. Some of her closest friends are elderly. When she was 40 she was best friends with a 100 yr old Irish man and now at 60, her best friend is a 90 yr old woman. I always admired how she could find common ground with people very different from her.
@@dijonay971Thank you! I found your comment equally inspiring - your mum sounds fun and I would LOVE to be friends with a 90-year old! Imagine all the stories and life lessons... And I'm sure your mum keeps them young! 😍
I’ve been on an Instagram break - I find it is the most disorientating , addictive, distracting app for me. I’ve been on LinkedIn for connections and professional content , tik tok for laughs, and TH-cam for informative, uplifting content. I feel so much more at peace and and focused on my own vision .
What a timely episode. I've been struggling with the constant need to be doing more and more, and it's really due that underlying societal pressure to always be achieving something
The dilemma post - Honestly first thing I’ll say is if you’ve always felt rejected - Building relationship with God first as a secure foundation for me personally has worked well - That really has allowed me the opportunity to be more intentional in how I socialise or to be open with who I choose to, because God definitely wants us to be in a community, the enemy wants us isolated. “It’s okay to not have your ducks in a row” 👏🏾 I enjoyed the rest of the conversation and I’m definitely learning from you ladies. Thank you 🙌🏾
What an absolutely amazing episode. I had this perspective for a very long time that I was a late bloomer when I graduated from graduate school and was still holding down a job where I only made $35,000 a year, while my peers were making more than me without a degree. Through getting to know myself, my real true passions and purpose I understood that I wasn't a late bloomer I was simply still blooming. Thank you for this episode, I truly enjoyed listening and taking notes. xoxo
God is in love with you (the girl with the dilemma in this episode) and all the rest of you, including Courtney and Renee. I can relate to some of the social anxiousness and wanting friendships but feeling like my social battery is low! It definitely takes time, take it step by step (even if it's baby steps). You got this. things get better as long as you trust in that & don't let low moments stop you. Give your life to Christ to take control. He only wants the best for you even if it doesn't feel good to totally let go
Wow😭 this is so relatable. Thank u so much the advice is also very helpful cause I too struggled with social anxiety and fear of being rejected so I didn't become vulnerable to ppl and that affected my relationships with others but the love of God just drives out that fear and it heals your heart from all the deep wounds u have.His love that I experience having a relationship with Jesus has helped me to know I am loved by Jesus who even gave his life for me and that he will never leave me or reject me like others have.And the fact that he loves us unconditionally means that we also do not have to fear if He will stop loving us because He loved us even while we were still sinners.He has been the closet friend that sticks closer than a brother and his love is the only thing that can truly make us whole and satisfy us nothing else will do so having a relationship with Jesus is really key and the best thing ever 😁🤗🙏
@@tendaniramapela3030 totally agree. I am one who struggles with social anxiety and depression and wanting to make friends and develop true connections but like you guys said, it takes time. I also think that maybe God puts us in isolated places to draw close or closer to Him. That is what is happening to me now. And when we put Him first, everything falls into place. I am a bit scared of being in a place where God has put everything into place, if that makes sense lol but it’s something I am praying about and I am seeking therapy to deal with that.
Also, another great point Courtney is that no one is forcing you to watch content! It's best to curate your feed. If a particular content creator feed makes you feel insecure and negative about your life, you don't need to keep following them. You get to choose which content you want to consume.
I definitely feel that I am way too ahead, so I compare myself career-wise to my 45-year-old colleagues and I'm 20! Make it make sense!? It's frustrating because I know it is incomparable, yet I beat myself over it so much. I tend to put my identity in how well I perform with something so it's a rocky journey. Great episode as always ❤❤
FAVORITE EPISODE YET!!! LOVE YOU LADIES! ❤️ Very well spoken. Always thought of myself as a late bloomer, until I realized I was a different flower altogether. 🌸 You see, I was trying to bloom in Spring, when all the other beautiful flowers are getting recognition. I'm A rare breed, I bloomed in Winter, after all the other beautiful flowers had withered and died. It was only when I put richer soil and watered my own roots, I discovered I was unlike the others. The comparisons stopped. They were them, and I was me.
I think everyone listening to this should pay attention to 51:30 that part really spoke to me considering that it's so hard for me to ask for help since most of the time people ask me for help coz I look like the strong one but at times it's really dark
This video was made for even the dilemma. All the weekend I was thinking about my anxiety and the fact that I accomplished nothing in my life at a certain age.... So thank you girls.
I agree with your Courtney. It matters to be able to get professional support to understand who you are, your thoughts and the way your life is going. Sometimes, that would also mean knowing when to unplug from social media to figure your life out. It's striking a balance because we can easily get so consumed by the social media realm with all that goes on that we get lost and the negative comparisons start. For being a ''late bloomer,'' I'm understanding that what matters most is coming to terms with your own journey because when you focus on your journey, you know what makes sense for your path.
Glad to come across this channel! I really enjoy the content. As a black American child of the 80's I can admit to feeling like a late bloomer, in a physical sense. I'm average height and slim. I still don't feel like my body has developed at the rate it should have and I'm definitely older now. Although I knew life and relationships outside of the internet and social media, I've always hated "looking young," especially not having a woman's full-figure, probably due - at least in part - to various other media and things like Barbie dolls. Tbh, I've grown to the point where I no longer obsess about having big boobs, but I might not ever truly accept or love my own body. I have been married and divorced, so I don't have FOMO in the sense of those types of experiences. However, I know the feeling all too well when it comes to the idea of never having felt like I've truly experienced a grown, sexy, and confident womanhood.
I’m an apple podcast listener but just here to confirm that you are in fact at 40K so congrats! Re fomo vs getting ahead, I’ve realised that the unfortunate reality is that we rarely get it all. I currently have the career (combination of when the lightning struck and work) and my personal life is laughable at best. I don’t have any sage words of wisdom other than to say keep going. I’m not saying to go at the pace of the rat race - baby steps are steps too - but things are working for your good, and you gotta be ready to receive them when they do.
The way this video was perfect timing for me at where I am in my life. I recently graduated college and am currently in that transition stage from being a full-time student to entering the workforce. I'm not sure what I want to do, what my purpose is, and I feel lost. Seeing everyone else in my age group "be on track" has been difficult for me because I feel behind everyone else. But you're absolutely right, all of us are in different places in our life. The social media comparison is real!!! Focusing on taking a step back from social media is so important so that you can fully focus on you. Thank u sisters! ❤
My biggest content consumption is food recipes on Pinterest 😅 I love cooking, meal planning and saving money. BUT, I’ve been consuming Instagram wayyy too much lately and I need to take a breather. When I had surgery last month and was recovering it was MARVELOUS not being “in the know” I was focused on my recovery I didn’t care what was happening online.
@ 27:09 sis is talking that talk!!!! Come on career counselorrrr👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 I loved that point! Brilliant! Transmute the energy into something powerful toward your benefit
I’ve been watching for a while and I love how level headed you both are❤ I’ve ALWAYS been a late bloomer but I came to accept that my path is just different and that’s Totally Okay, we all have different times, mind you I do stay more away from socials now (helps with mental health) & allows me to focus more on what needs to be done xx
Courtney, today you have awaken my soul❤😂no,but seriously when you spoke about turning whatever we consume into something we can earn from, I was literally like yes yes and yes! I agree With Renee that seeing other women go through life and different paces also gives me peace because it lets me know that I’m just different. Another amazing episode form you two ❤ Congrats on reaching 40 K🎉
Okay how are we opening up for friendship for the SA 🇿🇦 sisters/sisters who are in SA struggling with making friends (especially as adults). this is me putting myself out there 🙈
I stopped looking at social media about 14 months ago. Couldnt take it anymore. The negativity, comparisons, and stuff that was *too* positive for me to handle.
@@Osomote I feel better. A weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I needed a break. Too many posts about covid, politics, and people dying. Then other messages about ppl vacationing,getting married and and other success while I was stuck in the house. I know that some of the posts are lies for likes, but they still affected me. I needed to fall back. The downside is that people were/are worried about me because I fell off with no warning.
I just deleted Instagram and tiktok from my phone. It got so overwhelming. Hopefully I can work on my mental health of this social media break
GURL. AMERIKKKA AND THE WORLD IS NEGATIVE AF however social media is to blame ?
@@samyljones3871 partly. One size does not fit all. OK to take breaks if needed. More focus less distractions.
As a 35 year old with close Sisters ranging from 22 to 44, I highly recommend that 20-somethings focus less on wanting to be part of a group or "crew" and more on cultivating individual sisterhoods with people from different backgrounds (race, religions, socio-economic statuses, careers, living in different countries, married/single, kids/no kids etc) .... I did this without consciously thinking about it and it has ENRICHED my life in many ways. Building friendships with so many very different women has shown me that life REALLY isn't a race! Some of us are the rich aunt and killing it work-wise, whilst others have paused careers to have kids for the rich aunts to dote on! Some are in 10-year marriages whilst others have barely dated. I knew some of my friends who have kids pre-parenthood whilst I met others during pregnancy or well into their child-rearing, and I know a number of women who cannot or don't want to have kids. Some people's relationships/marriages have lasted whilst some fell apart quickly. I'm watching and learning from them as they watch and learn from me. There's no lateness when it comes to blooming... "For every season, there is a time". It makes you comfortable where you are when you can love and accept others where THEY are.
Regarding the dilemma: Most of my close relationships are in the 10-25 years range which is amazing given that I met some at school, one or two at uni, one on a personality matching dating site(!), was introduced to one on Facebook by another Facebook friend's mother so we could talk about Scandal together (and now I'm her 12-year-old's godmother!). I met one via her TH-cam channel, met one at a coaching training event etc. People are always surprised when I'm like "off to America for a month!" or "just going to see my friend in India for a couple of weeks!" or "my friend and god-daughter are coming from Germany for a week". Like I said, I didn't do it intentionally but I would have if I'd known better in my twenties! All this to say that life is bizarre and unpredictable and wonderful all at once! I agree that therapy will help you address the past bullying. After that, be brave and try (as trite as it may sound) because someone is always waiting out there, ready to love you! It may even be your pasts that bring you together in the future. You are welcome to message me if you want to start the baby-steps of building a virtual bond with someone outside of family! ♥ 🙏🏾
Thank you for this. I needed to hear this.
Wow, great advice. Probably the best comment on here, thank you for sharing :)
You sound similar to my Mum, she has friends all around the world and of various ages. Growing up, we would always have so many of her friends visit us from overseas. Some of her closest friends are elderly. When she was 40 she was best friends with a 100 yr old Irish man and now at 60, her best friend is a 90 yr old woman. I always admired how she could find common ground with people very different from her.
@@dijonay971Thank you! I found your comment equally inspiring - your mum sounds fun and I would LOVE to be friends with a 90-year old! Imagine all the stories and life lessons... And I'm sure your mum keeps them young! 😍
@@Osomote 😂 Go forth and befriend!
This is great advice.
This episode is literally made for me. I am really struggling with jealousy and FOMO right now. Thanks girls!
I’ve been on an Instagram break - I find it is the most disorientating , addictive, distracting app for me. I’ve been on LinkedIn for connections and professional content , tik tok for laughs, and TH-cam for informative, uplifting content.
I feel so much more at peace and and focused on my own vision .
What a timely episode. I've been struggling with the constant need to be doing more and more, and it's really due that underlying societal pressure to always be achieving something
Gratitude.Gratitude.Gratitude. It change my life in ways I cannot fathom. It works😊
The dilemma post - Honestly first thing I’ll say is if you’ve always felt rejected - Building relationship with God first as a secure foundation for me personally has worked well - That really has allowed me the opportunity to be more intentional in how I socialise or to be open with who I choose to, because God definitely wants us to be in a community, the enemy wants us isolated.
“It’s okay to not have your ducks in a row” 👏🏾
I enjoyed the rest of the conversation and I’m definitely learning from you ladies. Thank you 🙌🏾
What an absolutely amazing episode. I had this perspective for a very long time that I was a late bloomer when I graduated from graduate school and was still holding down a job where I only made $35,000 a year, while my peers were making more than me without a degree. Through getting to know myself, my real true passions and purpose I understood that I wasn't a late bloomer I was simply still blooming. Thank you for this episode, I truly enjoyed listening and taking notes. xoxo
"Not even wondering, you'r'e crying that you're poor." THAT TOOK ME OUT!!! hahaha
God is in love with you (the girl with the dilemma in this episode) and all the rest of you, including Courtney and Renee. I can relate to some of the social anxiousness and wanting friendships but feeling like my social battery is low! It definitely takes time, take it step by step (even if it's baby steps). You got this. things get better as long as you trust in that & don't let low moments stop you. Give your life to Christ to take control. He only wants the best for you even if it doesn't feel good to totally let go
Wow😭 this is so relatable.
Thank u so much the advice is also very helpful cause I too struggled with social anxiety and fear of being rejected so I didn't become vulnerable to ppl and that affected my relationships with others but the love of God just drives out that fear and it heals your heart from all the deep wounds u have.His love that I experience having a relationship with Jesus has helped me to know I am loved by Jesus who even gave his life for me and that he will never leave me or reject me like others have.And the fact that he loves us unconditionally means that we also do not have to fear if He will stop loving us because He loved us even while we were still sinners.He has been the closet friend that sticks closer than a brother and his love is the only thing that can truly make us whole and satisfy us nothing else will do so having a relationship with Jesus is really key and the best thing ever 😁🤗🙏
@@tendaniramapela3030 totally agree. I am one who struggles with social anxiety and depression and wanting to make friends and develop true connections but like you guys said, it takes time. I also think that maybe God puts us in isolated places to draw close or closer to Him. That is what is happening to me now. And when we put Him first, everything falls into place. I am a bit scared of being in a place where God has put everything into place, if that makes sense lol but it’s something I am praying about and I am seeking therapy to deal with that.
Also, another great point Courtney is that no one is forcing you to watch content! It's best to curate your feed. If a particular content creator feed makes you feel insecure and negative about your life, you don't need to keep following them. You get to choose which content you want to consume.
I definitely feel that I am way too ahead, so I compare myself career-wise to my 45-year-old colleagues and I'm 20! Make it make sense!? It's frustrating because I know it is incomparable, yet I beat myself over it so much. I tend to put my identity in how well I perform with something so it's a rocky journey.
Great episode as always ❤❤
Can’t believe I just got recommended you ladies from a friend. You guys are just 👌🏾 the knowledge and wisdom is top-notch.
FAVORITE EPISODE YET!!! LOVE YOU LADIES! ❤️ Very well spoken. Always thought of myself as a late bloomer, until I realized I was a different flower altogether. 🌸 You see, I was trying to bloom in Spring, when all the other beautiful flowers are getting recognition. I'm A rare breed, I bloomed in Winter, after all the other beautiful flowers had withered and died. It was only when I put richer soil and watered my own roots, I discovered I was unlike the others. The comparisons stopped. They were them, and I was me.
I love what you just said
I think everyone listening to this should pay attention to 51:30 that part really spoke to me considering that it's so hard for me to ask for help since most of the time people ask me for help coz I look like the strong one but at times it's really dark
This!
Exactly me!
This video was made for even the dilemma. All the weekend I was thinking about my anxiety and the fact that I accomplished nothing in my life at a certain age.... So thank you girls.
Literally in therapy for this EXACT thing! So glad for this episode!
I agree with your Courtney. It matters to be able to get professional support to understand who you are, your thoughts and the way your life is going. Sometimes, that would also mean knowing when to unplug from social media to figure your life out. It's striking a balance because we can easily get so consumed by the social media realm with all that goes on that we get lost and the negative comparisons start.
For being a ''late bloomer,'' I'm understanding that what matters most is coming to terms with your own journey because when you focus on your journey, you know what makes sense for your path.
Glad to come across this channel! I really enjoy the content. As a black American child of the 80's I can admit to feeling like a late bloomer, in a physical sense. I'm average height and slim. I still don't feel like my body has developed at the rate it should have and I'm definitely older now. Although I knew life and relationships outside of the internet and social media, I've always hated "looking young," especially not having a woman's full-figure, probably due - at least in part - to various other media and things like Barbie dolls. Tbh, I've grown to the point where I no longer obsess about having big boobs, but I might not ever truly accept or love my own body. I have been married and divorced, so I don't have FOMO in the sense of those types of experiences. However, I know the feeling all too well when it comes to the idea of never having felt like I've truly experienced a grown, sexy, and confident womanhood.
I’m an apple podcast listener but just here to confirm that you are in fact at 40K so congrats! Re fomo vs getting ahead, I’ve realised that the unfortunate reality is that we rarely get it all. I currently have the career (combination of when the lightning struck and work) and my personal life is laughable at best. I don’t have any sage words of wisdom other than to say keep going. I’m not saying to go at the pace of the rat race - baby steps are steps too - but things are working for your good, and you gotta be ready to receive them when they do.
The way this video was perfect timing for me at where I am in my life. I recently graduated college and am currently in that transition stage from being a full-time student to entering the workforce. I'm not sure what I want to do, what my purpose is, and I feel lost. Seeing everyone else in my age group "be on track" has been difficult for me because I feel behind everyone else. But you're absolutely right, all of us are in different places in our life. The social media comparison is real!!! Focusing on taking a step back from social media is so important so that you can fully focus on you. Thank u sisters! ❤
My biggest content consumption is food recipes on Pinterest 😅 I love cooking, meal planning and saving money. BUT, I’ve been consuming Instagram wayyy too much lately and I need to take a breather. When I had surgery last month and was recovering it was MARVELOUS not being “in the know” I was focused on my recovery I didn’t care what was happening online.
This is SUCH a great episode - I can'tttt!!! Sooo many great things said about over consumption and jealousy
Hello Renee and Courtney happy to be here keep up the good work ❤❤
@ 27:09 sis is talking that talk!!!! Come on career counselorrrr👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 I loved that point! Brilliant! Transmute the energy into something powerful toward your benefit
I need you guys to come to Houston or the U.S please!!!!!!!!!! You are so real ❤. This topic has been on my heart lately.
Please make an episode withering a business with your best friend and managing Finances and space. Love you both 💓
Courtney came for our edges today 😂😂😂 great episode ❤️❤️
Girl! Mine are hanging on by a thread 😂 Sis gathered me with a quickness this morning😪
Sisters, this is such a relevant episode! Wish I could drop it in everyone’s DM!
You guys are such wholesome, well spoken , woman. Literally. Every woman needs to hear these podcasts.
Such a timely relevant topic!! This was exactly my mind set today.
I’ve been watching for a while and I love how level headed you both are❤ I’ve ALWAYS been a late bloomer but I came to accept that my path is just different and that’s Totally Okay, we all have different times, mind you I do stay more away from socials now (helps with mental health) & allows me to focus more on what needs to be done xx
You ladies are such a positive presence 🙏
This episode was great! I can heavily relate to the woman who asked the question. Thank you
Reneé is looking golden !!!!!!!! Love to see it ! Love this space !
This is so true!! Like everything that was said is so relatable!
Great discussion!
Courtney, today you have awaken my soul❤😂no,but seriously when you spoke about turning whatever we consume into something we can earn from, I was literally like yes yes and yes! I agree With Renee that seeing other women go through life and different paces also gives me peace because it lets me know that I’m just different. Another amazing episode form you two ❤ Congrats on reaching 40 K🎉
Fantastic episode.
Such a beautiful and important podcast ❤🥰 thank you ladies for being the voice of reason 🥰
28:24 IM DEAD 😭😭😭 it's even worse cuz I literally do this, I need to get my money up frfr
Okay how are we opening up for friendship for the SA 🇿🇦 sisters/sisters who are in SA struggling with making friends (especially as adults). this is me putting myself out there 🙈
Ahhhhh I’m here I’m here
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥such a fire conversation
I’m open for friendship- let me know y’all. 😂👏
This episode feels like a personal attack lol
❤
you girls are just what I need to hear after a longgg week🥹🫶🏽
When Renee said, “I’m not late. I’ve arrived!” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🥲🥲🥲
“Success doesn’t just look like an Instagram post”🤌🏾