Narcissists Give You the Silent Treatment to Make You Apologize for their Own Issues
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ส.ค. 2022
- If you're a woman feeling trapped in a toxic relationship and looking for freedom, you've come to the right place. With over 3000+ clients, I've integrated everything I've learned into a comprehensive program designed to help you reclaim your freedom. My goal is to guide you to break free without confronting or trying to fix him. Together, let's rediscover YOU and cultivate your confidence and clarity. To take the next step in your healing journey with me, visit www.rawmotivations.com/breakt...
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If you're a man struggling with narcissistic traits and seeking the path, community, and transformation that I've experienced, I'm here to help - but only if you are serious about investing the time and energy. To begin this journey with me, schedule a session at www.rawmotivations.com/break-...
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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.
Platforms I am on:
TikTok - / raw_motivations
Instagram - / rawmotivations
Facebook - profile.php?...
Podcast - anchor.fm/rawmotivations
TH-cam - / rawmotivations
#narcissism #narcissist #npd
Silent treatment
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Play these videos LOUD
Enjoy the peace
Me: "I'm sorry for whatever I did to upset you. Can you please tell me what I did?"
Them: "I shouldn't have to tell you. You should know."
Me: "I really don't. I hurts me when we're not talking. Will you please communicate with me?"
Them: (getting louder/angrier) "Just quit talking about it. It's in the past."
Me: "I don't even know what you're upset about. How can i promise to change if I don't even know why you're mad?"
Them: (yelling) "I told you to just stop talking about it! That's your problem. You don't know how to let stuff go!"
Flying Monkeys: "You need to take responsibility for your part in this."
...and the cycle continues. Year after year. The toxicity is enough to make you lose your mind. Thank God I'm free. ❤️🩹
I’m going through this right now, almost verbatim, along with neglect and refusal to engage when trying to get my basic, vital needs met. I don’t know what to do because I can’t get out. This isn’t a relationship - I’m chronically ill and it’s a relative caring for me and, for now, I have no other options.
I’ve spent months trying to adjust the way I communicate. Researched non-violent communication, scrutinised myself and anything and everything I could be inadvertently doing to aggravate him. I’m a quivering wreck. I’ve only recently realised he’s a narcissist.
Glad you’re free. Praying for the day I can have freedom from abuse too.
I just need to say I am tired of dealing with the damage that has been done. Every day has been a struggle and I am angry.
How are you doing? I know that feeling of anger and despair. They take so much from us, abuse us in plain sight, trick us into opening our door and our heart, and once they’ve taken what they need, we’re tossed aside and left to pick up the pieces on our own. It’s a very lonely journey but talking to others who’ve been there does help, and therapy is also a really good idea if you can. Be kind to yourself and take care.
@@tjfSIM thank you. It is absolutely exhausting. He resurfaced and acted like nothing ever happened. I have changed so much.
I don't know if this will ever be answered ...I was not insecure that much ... But i was which makes the relationship cute...she put more seeds in my head regarding insecurity PURPOSELY ... There is no trust at all... Checking my phone whenever there is a chance... I feel like FBI is behind my ass.... I just wanted peace when i go back to her....what i get is self obsessed stories , constant comparison with her X in small talks... When i discussed my boundaries she said it's not right and i m insulting her with those boundaries..i would never have such boundaries of i was not felt insecure .... She made me felt like i am piece of SHIT.... I really loved her fought with my parents for her .... My parents who love me live for me... N i fought for her ...what i get back constant disrespect, making me feel it's my fault ...life feel like pain and. Pain and pain...because i love her madly...
I didn’t even know silent treatment, gaslighting, projection in this Terminology even existed, but now here I am. I am a #1 reason this means something. They want nothing from you but everything you had or have. Beware. Listen to Ben. It’s super sad. Educate and go no contact.
I LOOK FORWARD TO THIS VIDEO I AM BEING GIVEN THE SILENT TREATMENT.
FOR OVER 2 MONTHS THIS IS THE NARCISSISTS WEAPON AGAINST ME The SILENT TREATMENT AND TREATING ME LIKE I DONT EXIST.
THIS ABUSE IS HORRIFIC..
I WAS BROKE DOWN FROM MONTHS AND YEARS OF THE SILENT TREATMENT….
NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS BRUTAL
Ignore back...BLOCK and delete. Have a memorial service for him and pretend he's dead. If a monkey says anything about him...say "hmm he died" and don't say anything else
@@mightymouse1005
Your ABSOLUTELY RIGHT THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS.
IM STRUGGLING TO DISCONNECT IM TRAUMA BONDED
I think I'm going to use that. He died being silent!😂 * A-holes* what right do they have to treat us this way. Hollow shell people
I got silent treated so many times in a friendship with my ex best friend. Best he did was 9months. I was stupid let the guy back in my life. Years went by and he did it a few more times until one day I just said fuck it I dont need this person in my life anymore and blocked him on everything. Almost been 4 years now and yes I sort of think about it. But I think how much ive acheived without this low life friend in my life anymore.
Rule 1 they silent treat you 2 or more times they’ll do it again. So do yourself a favour and get rid of these people.
Awesome video; spot on! Have unfortunately had this experience with my Dad and some coworkers, and the narcs who want others to apologize and take responsibility for the sins/bad behavior they/the narc committed, and are truly evil and dangerous people. Some will literally try to destroy everything about you or your reputation, and if that doesn't work, then severely harming or murdering you is sometimes the next option for destruction, to prevent you from leaving or exposing them. I can personally attest to how dangerous at least some of the ones who use silent treatment are; be careful that you make sure you are safe if you have to deal with them, it almost cost me my life. Parents in some cases will kill their own children to keep and maintain control over them and the narrative; may those suffering in those situations call on God (the creator of the universe) to deliver you safely out of the hand of the evil you are oppressed by. 🙏
True, they will look for any reason to put you in fault, so that your faults will seam bigger than theirs, if you already discovered these.
Turning tables! It is tough to deal with one and exhausting, but once you see the truth it becomes so clear what they are doing. I hope you are not dealing with one!
evident in the "partner" breaking up when a need is made clear, and coming back when you speak to them. later, you start picking up on the pattern and get 2 week silent treatments. then they ask you if you're even going to try to remedy the situation. seriously? then breAK up again after asking if you'll try but are met with confusion and apprehension. they'll also tell you they're scared of YOU or that you're a psychopath for asking questions so you can do basic life planning.
@@RawMotivations unfortunately yes, I’m still dealing with one. But gaining control and consciousness. Thank for your concern 👍
My ex narc was malignant af. First 2 silent treatments lasted a week, and I’m sure woulda went much longer but I reached out first…the last one ended up in a ghosting and I didn’t reach out…and after 2 months of silence I just decided to move on and block him. I was tired of waiting. Piece of shit. I didn’t deserve it at all. I was nothing but good to him. All in all it was a blessing cuz it set me free. Still carry anger about it tho. Like no joke a part of me wouldn’t give a f if he unalived himself. The world would be a better place no doubt
I think dead silence is the best becuz it gives you time to educate yourself and completely heal. It’s been 2 years now and I’m still healing. Don’t dismiss this and or not pay attention. Listen and understand you have 1 life, do not let them destroy that. Because they will try to their very last breath if they can. Don’t allow that. Your smarter than them. You can still be empathic but never to them. You are not a board game, leave the chess pieces on the table and GO-
Empathetic does NOT mean idiot to accept abuse. Empathetic ONLY means feeling things deeply. I feel things very deeply, that includes anger, sadness and love...
After 7 months of no contact due to me blocking on every avenue, my Narc got to me through a different name. The narc is my son. He said "you are dead to me". I thought then why are you texting me? Not the first time I've heard this. I'm not going to lie, this sent me into a spiral. If he wanted to open up a line of communication that was not the way to go about it. If he would have come with kindness I may have broke my no contact! I am grateful that this is how it came. Thank you for your insights and help.
So many times my Son has said the same thing to me and said so many cruel things which tore at me inside, so I'd leave and go home and not contact him, then he'd call as if nothing had happened being nice. When things went wrong with my Ex all I'd have was my Son, bit at times it felt like I was getting out of the Frying Pan and jumping into the Fire.
I did that I did apologize but then the silent treatment became a weapon I wanted to talk to him so badly that he won't give it to me and we keept silent for so long, the craziest thing is that I gave him the idea I said to him one time how badly I wanted us to talk again, so he kept going and in the times that he wanted to talk I was so hurt I couldn't trust him so I kept silent too.
When you need time to heal from the narcissistic abuse and the abuser won't allow you the space to do so, then I gotta resort to either ignoring or blocking, I don't like doing either but it's the lack of respect & the controlling factor with them that's so irritating to me, when I need space they won't give it, feel entitled to have access to me, but if they choose to go silent, I get nothing, nada, zero communication unless I beg for forgiveness and let them get away with their shenanigans...It's draining and I'm over it...Going no contact...don't care what they think..
Coverts hide everything. If they say they are broken, depressed. Run. You will not know until the worse thing happens out of the blue. Listen to Ben. He knows and listen to him.👍🏻
I ran but after 2 years it sneaks up on you what’s really happening to you but once you do you realize how much this isn’t worth my time anymore and I’m worth way more ! He did say he was broken he’s definitely a covert narcissist my ex but the last silent treatment he did I left an never looked back almost 5 months now blocked an happier and never again will I make excuses for a man’s behavior and I will never be with someone like this again! So I’m actually grateful for this experience because I learned that I deserve way more! He definitely made me apologize for what he did that I didn’t he was a victim of everything and I’m glad it’s over!
It’s so. Freakin weird.
@@Nicole-fl8gv Yes all coverts I believe say they are broken so that the tell tale sign.
@@mandaa4 beyond weird.
@@emmamonroe3311 it is crazy how they are robotic and say an act all alike across the world 🌎 no individuality other different types of personality disorders might have similar traits in different people but I never seen such a thing it’s the exact same! It’s crazy
Basically the only way to take back your power and end the pain created in you by the silent treatment is to end the relationship unless you want to spend the rest of your life begging and grovelling. Even giving my ex the silent treatment right back didn’t work because my anxiety just increased while I tried to out wait him and he learned nothing. Not to mention I had stooped to his level. My ex used to Hoover me back then once he knew he’d got me hooked again he’d give me the silent treatment to punish me for dumping him. Right after I explained I’d left in the first place because I wasn’t willing to put up with the silent treatment.
Shame on him for cheating !!! And he would give me the silent treatment !!!!
The same thing happened to me. Figure out he cheated, he blocked me for 3 months. Digusting.
“ Manipulate the results” 🎯 And sometimes that backfires….
Listening to these vid validate so many of my feelings and give me knowledgeable information. Many thanks.😊
The narc I was married to was also addicted. Many recoveries & relapses. The last was steroid use, social media supply etc
I started trauma based therapy 3 months before I made him leave. Gaining the understanding of the narc/addict really helps me
feel I was not crazy. The addiction kept me from seeing that there was a narcissist in this person.
I stopped being supply when I found the steroids and social media ,gay porn etc.
I now search for MY voice everyday,no contact,meditation ,health . Gratitude for family,friends and my health in surviving and knowing even with all the years of therapy the narcissist was bound to reappear. I’m a 72 yo women of the 60’s. Empowered again.
Thank you Ben.
To me the silent treatment means,he was someone I used to know.Good bye forever
Hell no I’m over it ❤
Yes my husband after he would go overseas to see his parents he would come back home and silent treatment for months I could not understand why 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩every where now I know more about silent treatment💯💯💯💯
Thank uuuu!!!!
Covert Passive-Aggressive Narricist book referenced is a good read, especially because if you are surrounded by narc types, even overt ones can use these manuplulations. It is a especially good with real life examples that would be "no big deal" or "maybe you're reading to much into that" by others not familiar with kind of insidious abuse.
TY for EXPANSIVE EXPLAINATION of this topic insidious abuse. Been in 20+ relationship with one, remember being at overseas wedding during his one long silent treatment, with slight facade infront of family and his cold behavior & devaluing words behind doors.
I remember this since I rarely cry, but discreetly ended up in the ladies room quietly broken, crying due to his coldness to me, but being nice and talking to everyone else. His kind, empath sister happen to come in and gave me a hug and kind words to carry on.
Coming from a narc family, I am used to silent treatments, for most of my life as the peace keeper (empathic codependent) it would be my job to be chirpy, make jokes, fawn, getting the parties to talk and getting back together again. I was used to be ignored and most times had embarrassing stories told by my dad, as he wanted to be the life of the party. So narcs are different, but when it is all you know, you accept these behaviors as normal. I have a hard time speaking up and fear that people will think I am giving them the silent treatment, due to the gaslighting of my covert partner. I am slowly getting out of the fog but people should definitely be aware of this to avoid these relationships.
The silent treatment is horrible the silence is deafening. I endured this with the covert Narc I dated it was my clue something was off it’s actually an odd behavior….
Thank you, happened to me recently while I thought I wouldn't fall for it. I did.....I'm so hurt I have no words. Thank you
Please don’t beat yourself up or feel stupid. These people are professional, practised con merchants who depend on manipulating others for their survival. They’re good at it. And they zero in on people who are trusting, who give people the benefit of the doubt. There’s a video on TH-cam where a clinical psychologist talks about getting tricked and used by a narcissist - it really can happen to anyone.
@@tjfSIM yeah, I'm.loving my whole life around them since parents. Thank you for your kindness
One thing that used to go running through my head when my Ex was quiet or giving me the Silent Treatment was that if he wasn't talking to me, who was he talking to? I thought this because of all the times he put seeds in my head about who he was talking to and who he was taking out. He used to say it was allbin my head and I would try to explain to him why, which was futile, but he wasn't interested of course. 🍒
I give it right back. I play music and sing....completely ignore.....
@@mightymouse1005 mee too, Lmao I have airport ground crew earbuds! 😃 turn arrs narc down 56 decibels. Lol
I totally understand. barf
4minutes in and the video hasn’t started yet
I think he was grooming new supply when he was ignoring me.
thats what my ex did to me,,,then she was flaunting it my face with the new supply to hurt me and get a reaction out me...i never showed any emotion but on the inside i was dying....eventually i went no contact since this person was toxic towards me.
Thats exactly whats going on
Exactly
GREAT SHOW, NECESSARY WHEN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND JUST WHAT ONE JUST EXPERIENCED IS WHAT ONE SUSPECTED. PEEPS ON 😎, I WAS LUCKY, WAS ONLY A FRIENDSHIP THAT I CHOSE GOD OVER A NARCS NONSENSE. AFTER 5 YRS, I'M SATISFIED IN CHOICE. THESE HELP ONE REALLY UNDERSTAND THE CLOCKWORK IN NARCS MIND PERSPECTIVE. BEST TO LET IT SINK IN. 👌
Omfg lol watching these from a completely different mind frame, after doing soooooo much inner work. Reaonate is an understatement. Honestly, it's when you start googling your partners actions, you know your in a toxic relationship. I think that's when, when I think about it, the penny dropped. But I gave it a decent bat. This is almost laughable now. It's sad, but true. 110%
My nex cheated on me so i didn’t speak to his for a few days. when i gathered my thoughts and responded to him. He was upset blamed me for everything and went silent. He said the relationship is not worth the mind games. lol he literally cheated.
Anyway, after a few days of asking him to speak I gave up. Giving him silence permanently.
How are you now? Healing can be tough after that
Omg he DOES want me to apologize. Cold day in hell. What an ego maniac. Yup wants me to take accountability for their actions, I fell for this slightly but it is grossing me out so much. This person just wow. So covert. It’s some twisted stuff! And yes! The relative abuse where you look crazy for being squeezed into this tiny bizarre shape just so they can keep their ego intact?
Some many videos explaining narc behavior but very few gives details on how to respond to it 😔🤷🏻♀️
My fiancé killed himself after a situation like this, he didn't even say goodbye to me, he hurt me so bad, now I have to live with it.
I am sorry for the trauma that was brought upon you. My 1st husband was an overt narc, took his life in front of the police. Selfish doesn't begin to cover the attitude he had. 13 years later our son followed his example. My Justin ended up living with his paternal grandparents. 5 yrs later at 22 he died right in front of them. The grandfather wouldn't even come outside to help him. They are not just hurtful, they are dangerous too. They try to hollow us out to match them. Demonic.😢
Firstly, great presentation of the subject. It spoke to the most hurtful part of my experience.
Secondly, yes, I watched this 😊 and your lack of gender usage was perfect, I didn't have to keep translating him to her.
What if they never get you to? He used to and does this tons, and I used to until I wised up. What if they just lose you forever? Do they just not care and never talk to you again? Or one day do they decide they want to hoover?
Ive been in a form of silent treatment. He has sent minimal texts most days. But chooses what messages and whrn tp read. And when to leave the conversation also.
Preach Sir 😎❤️💫 facts
Spot on
It didn't work. I went No Contact with all family
Oh yeah lots! xx
Apologize?ok,I'm so sorry you lied about me and worked my neighbors and maintenance men against me,plz forgive me.🤡😂
My childrens father and our not single family friend woman having coffee dates and something serious over 6 years. So i get them giving me silent treatment, all is my fault.
They say its nothing and its not relationship, or sex. So what it was? 🙄
yup
Okay... but what do we do when the person comes back and acts like nothing happens?
Great video. Some feedback; get into the subject matter of the video quicker.
Never gonna happen, HERE.🤡🤡🤡👈🏻
No it won't.!!! LOL.