We need an animation of this talk. It's just pure gold, mark trying to explain what sex is, the example of a ship and the ocean. Just an amazing 7 minutes of "what sex is."
My God, I'm sorry but I now have a crush on the ocean now because of this thumbnail.😳 Also love that Mark is getting dominated by the ocean, the only thing that he's afraid of.😂
Could've as easily said "so you put the flash drive into the USB slot, and since there's no cover on the flash drive it transfers its data to the computer. It takes a bit of time but eventually your data has gone from what was in that flash drive and now its grown into files. And that's how babies are born"
I need a Distractible Podcast shirt that just has an identical boat on each breast, and just has the quote "Have you heard of the Ship of Theseus?" -Markiplier, The Distractible Podcast
I need to know what the hell Mark is showing Bob. Cause knowing Mark, this presentation ain’t goin ANYTHING like what we’re imagining. On the other hand, maybe imma pass on that.
Mark managed to dance the line of demonitization without getting pentalized. great job but also seriously, he shouldn't have been the person to explain this to anyone 🤣
So the ocean (the woman) gives the glowing orb into the shipyard (the man) where the ship is build and then the ship goes into the ocean (the woman)? Thanks dad, I got it.
Well, this was one of the best things I’ve listened ever. It’s just, nothing like I’ve experienced before. Now, this got me thinking… Have you ever heard of the Ship of Theseus?
This reminds me of the day in 10th grade when my health class watched the ~miracle of life~ video that ended with footage of an actual birth. I'm squeamish as heck so I had permission to be in the adjoining classroom instead with an alternate assignment. When the video got to the birth part, we could hear the horrified reaction from next door. The chemistry teacher in the room where I was paused and said something like, "Ah, it's *that* day, huh? Well, you guys will have fun next period..." (since the kids in that class all moved to health afterwards). Nope nope nope. None for me, thank you.
BTW, who makes these thumbnails? They are so SPOT ON. To think I learnt about that by watching my cats when I was 8 years old. Then I made a disertation about my cat's pregnancy as if it was some sort of disease and suddenly, BOOM, KITTIES. I was bewildered and pleased at the same time, but at least the only one who cared about my disertation was my grandfather, who was a field medic. That's another of the reasons why my love for science and biology increased -- that and Jurassik Park's movie I guess.
Mark as a teacher would make sure that no teenagers would even try to have sex anymore because he would disturb them so much 😭😭😭 and wades giggling and his comments had me fcking dying 😂😂😂😂
I can't believe we've finally come full circle with Mark making the comment " fuck the ocean" when he was playing Subnautica.... It's the circle of life.
Shipwright = Sperm has now been entered into the lexicon. I will inform my husband, as we have two boats already, that he can keep his shipwrights to himself. I will offer no context. Lol. Thanks for the laugh. 😆
Honestly, the most frustrating thing is that he missed the chance to call the Shipwrights “Seamen”
thank you for ruining this wonderful thing for a joke he missed
@@Crazme, no I genuinely think this is one of the funniest things ever to be on distractible, but cmon. It was right there
@@johnpaulpomfret5032 STILL, sorry caps lock... still know I only wish he had said that joke
Why are people hating on John for this I was thinking the same thing about the sea men
its better without seamen joke
This is the thumbnail this story needed.
🤨📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸
Have you heard about the ship theseus?
@@AspectofHorror Nope. What about it?
When I first saw it I thought it was mark with a water boner, now I see it and see that’s it’s a woman.
@@Wmann if something has all its parts replaced, is it still the same thing? That’s basically the paradox/thought experiment
The vacant smiles on Lixian's little avatars are truly the icing on the cake
The spitting image of "no thoughts, head empty"
Someone is having waaaaaaaay too much fun designing these thumbnails.... And, honestly, I'm here for it!
what he said
same
1k likes
It was tooncee
"have you heard of the ship of Theseus?" Oh boy this is gonna be wild
I was picturing Vision when he said that.
@@Unownshipper me too. #wandavision
Not the worst metaphor I've ever heard XD
@@phoenixsoren no not at all. But it’s Mark we’re talking about. Any metaphor from His head, coming out of His is gonna wild!!
It was even better in the lightning round
“It looks like somebody’s dying!”
“Noooo! - (*remembers how childbirth works*) - Uh, sometimes! Sometimes!”
Reminds me of that one scene in friends
The goal of the "sex" talk is to make the child so horrified and traumatized that they never ask you about it ever again
And then when there adults they realize why you did that and they burst into laughter😂😂
This episode has reached new bob standards. congrats on beating his fridge!
Mark has got to be one of the worst people to give this talk to anyone😂 but it will be hilarious 😆
Now that's just unfair.
Have you not heard of the Ship of Theseus?
Idk man, It seems perfect to me lol
What do you mean he's the worst it was much easier to understand also i known a bit of the ship of theseus i think i he was saying the correct thing
I think the word you were looking for was best, I think you got the definition mixed up
If Mark and Amy have kids I hope Amy gives them the talk....
We need an animation of this talk. It's just pure gold, mark trying to explain what sex is, the example of a ship and the ocean. Just an amazing 7 minutes of "what sex is."
The slideshow at least lol
@@miketrapper0464 yeah, they were probably on a video chat and mark happened to have a slideshow showcasing these examples and references of sex.
The full version of this in the podcast legitimately almost killed me, I was trying to be quiet on a bus and my lungs were about to implode
After Wade’s lullaby I was not ready
I was at work and not supposed to be listening to things. Me laughing at nothing was v sus lol
The fact that Mark can slip SCP references into almost anything is one of the most entertaining things here on the internet.
the artist who made the thumbnail definitely had uhhm.. fun...
This explanation was the wildest thing I've ever heard. Can't wait to see it animated if possible. Cause my goodness this is too good to pass up 😂
Might need to post that one on, uh... Another site. 👀
"It looks like someone's dying" "Wha? No--Sometimes" had me dying
Ironically given my parents skipped the sex talk on me, this is an amazing analogy
Same 💀💃
Lmao same
Apparently I’ve been given it 6 times and I don’t remember any of those times lol
One of my favorite moments of this podcast so far. Bob's "huwaaAAAH!" After "here's a childbirth" makes me laugh so fucking hard.
“This a clip from Big Booty 9.” Ah yes I remember my first talk going exactly like that.
As a pregnant woman, this made my day and made me laugh so hard!
Congrats! :)
* congratulations :D
@@krispykreme6082 congrotitations*
congratulations for the boat!
So the baby is also listening before its even born then. That baby is gonna grow to be amazing.
“Have you ever heard of the Ship of Theseus?”
This episode was pure fucking gold.
A-FUCKING-GREED
Please animate this monstrosity of a story. I need this horror to be realized!!!!!!!
Mark saying everything right about the vagina and how he makes it so comforting to know he cares
Better than the sex talk I got.
I never got one XD
All I got was a book
@@toastuh1937 internet , movies and tv shows taught me all I needed to know
@@Braindamagedpotato Same
@@Braindamagedpotato The internet taught me all I needed or wanted to know
My God, I'm sorry but I now have a crush on the ocean now because of this thumbnail.😳 Also love that Mark is getting dominated by the ocean, the only thing that he's afraid of.😂
I forgot that he was afraid of the ocean 😂 gotta love mark and his masochism
Same, and I hate it.
Could've as easily said "so you put the flash drive into the USB slot, and since there's no cover on the flash drive it transfers its data to the computer. It takes a bit of time but eventually your data has gone from what was in that flash drive and now its grown into files. And that's how babies are born"
I need a Distractible Podcast shirt that just has an identical boat on each breast, and just has the quote "Have you heard of the Ship of Theseus?" -Markiplier, The Distractible Podcast
"Have you heard of the ship of Theseus" is my new go-to quote from now on
came here for the thumbnail... stayed for the story and mark's explanation
I need to know what the hell Mark is showing Bob. Cause knowing Mark, this presentation ain’t goin ANYTHING like what we’re imagining. On the other hand, maybe imma pass on that.
Knowing Mark agreed
I think its funnier that theres nothing shown, im imagining like a 90's hr office slideshow
I'm fairly certain it's just part of the improv, not an actual slideshow.
@@shapeshifterk true enough.
@@adorimable I’m thinking as a PowerPoint
Wade needs a drink and I need another. 😂
Father mark I don't wanna have the talk yet
To the person who made the thumbnail. Bravo. 👏
That would be lixian I believe
I love how Mark just shows the pictures of our genitalia, and Bob is okay with it, until childbirth of course
The whole running-joke with the Ship of Thesus was freaking genius.
Uncomfortable question? Break out the Ship of Theseus. Works every time.
The set up for this was amazing 🤣. It’s also amazing how he managed to both be honest/informational and metaphorical.
6:11 lowkey hit the shrek “somebody one told me” song
same bro
I can’t unhear it now!!😂
If this child wasn't already traumatised from Mark's baby parenting method, this speech would be the final nail in the coffin 🤣🤣
What a way to start the sex talk, "Have you heard of the ship of Theseus?"
Forget the “Birds and the Bees” I’ve learned of the, “Ship and the Seas!” Thank you Mark
ITS A BOAAAAT! ITS A BOOOOOOAAAT!!!!! - Mark, traumatizing his child
“You remeber the ship of thesis?” -mark 2022
One of my favourite episodes 😆
Mark managed to dance the line of demonitization without getting pentalized. great job but also seriously, he shouldn't have been the person to explain this to anyone 🤣
Have you ever seen telepurte?
He dances that line routinely.
@@Nanomano2864 oh yeah they get real close to that line that the youtube algorithm has too
So the ocean (the woman) gives the glowing orb into the shipyard (the man) where the ship is build and then the ship goes into the ocean (the woman)?
Thanks dad, I got it.
Ikr, he makes it sound like babies are birthed from penises lol.
This is hilarious and painful at the same time lol
The thumbnail is so funny
i love the way my smile dropped at the cover
😂😂
I wish I had a dad who was like this.
I just wish I had a dad.
@@EmilyTheMedic same bro
This week's podcast was definitely a favorite. So many laughs. I needed that. Thanks guys
i'd like to imagine that if my dad gave me the talk it would be something like this
so… Have you ever heard of The Ship Of Theseus?
This is absolutely phenomenal.
Someone must animate this! Seeing everything Mark is saying would be hilarious.
THAT PART OF THE EPISODE WAS SO FUNNY LMAOO
Well, this was one of the best things I’ve listened ever. It’s just, nothing like I’ve experienced before. Now, this got me thinking…
Have you ever heard of the Ship of Theseus?
I still can’t believe he didn’t say “seamen” in this story
This reminds me of the day in 10th grade when my health class watched the ~miracle of life~ video that ended with footage of an actual birth. I'm squeamish as heck so I had permission to be in the adjoining classroom instead with an alternate assignment. When the video got to the birth part, we could hear the horrified reaction from next door. The chemistry teacher in the room where I was paused and said something like, "Ah, it's *that* day, huh? Well, you guys will have fun next period..." (since the kids in that class all moved to health afterwards).
Nope nope nope. None for me, thank you.
My health class teacher rewound the tape so we had to watch the baby being shoved back in before being birthed again. 🙃
This took so many twists and turns in the opposite direction than I expected.
I dread the day that kids eventually find this and think this is what sex and childbirth is like...
BTW, who makes these thumbnails? They are so SPOT ON.
To think I learnt about that by watching my cats when I was 8 years old. Then I made a disertation about my cat's pregnancy as if it was some sort of disease and suddenly, BOOM, KITTIES. I was bewildered and pleased at the same time, but at least the only one who cared about my disertation was my grandfather, who was a field medic. That's another of the reasons why my love for science and biology increased -- that and Jurassik Park's movie I guess.
I never knew I needed this till the video dropped
Whoever made the thumbnail needs a raise
"Have you heard of The Ship of Theseus?"
And so, a meme was created...
Not a slide show presentation 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I hope Bob's son discovers this video before he gets the sex talk.
If this was how i was told how babies are made, I'd be more confused then when i started... but I'd be entertained by the story.
Mark as a teacher would make sure that no teenagers would even try to have sex anymore because he would disturb them so much 😭😭😭
and wades giggling and his comments had me fcking dying 😂😂😂😂
I feel like Mark is scarring baby bob boy for life.
Sometimes I think Mark would be a great father… then he does things like this. 🤣
This story needs to be animated ASAP!!! 🤣🤣🤣👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻🚢🌊😅
Oh God! 😂 Hopefully they’ll censor out when Mark shows them the diagrams! 😂
This is literally my favorite episode now
I can't believe we've finally come full circle with Mark making the comment " fuck the ocean" when he was playing Subnautica.... It's the circle of life.
This is how I'm telling my future kids.
The thumbnail caught me off guard
Bro would get fired immediately if he was a school teacher
That thumbnail tho 😳
When mark mentions OSHA as the condom that broke I lose it 🤣🤣🤣
That thumbnail is so cursed 💀
The teacher has just never heard of the ship of Theseus
Mark: "I made a slideshow presentation..."
Me: Oh no....
By explaining in Mark's way, you are going to kill that child's curiosity for everr😂
One of the best episodes so far!
I.. did NOT need to see that thumbnail, and now it's permanently engraved into my brain..
Great art btw 👏
Ocean's lookin' kinda thicc in that thumbnail. I feel like we'll be seeing fanart of that in the future. . .
..... Smash.
I’m not drunk enough for this.
I know less about sex than I did before I began.
Same
The thumbnail is just.......
I don't have words for it but it's just..... yeah
Shipwright = Sperm has now been entered into the lexicon. I will inform my husband, as we have two boats already, that he can keep his shipwrights to himself. I will offer no context. Lol. Thanks for the laugh. 😆
100% honesty time, yall.
This is waaaaaaay better than the talk I got from my dad growing up.
Now that is certainly a thumbnail
Man this clip reminds me how much I love this episodes now I have to listen to the whole episode on Spotify!!
Have you heard of the Ship of Theseus?
"where do babies come from, and what are they made of?" "Excellent question. Have you heard of the ship of Theseus?"
1:03 the way Wade's character bounced is killing me
YES! My favorite moment from the episode, given its own video. Perfect!
This thumbnail is interesting...
Aww you cut the bit that bob broke what mark said apart, confused that mark technically said that the baby is developed in the balls
when "let your imagination run wild" became too literal and tiring from laughing 🤣🤣🤣 props a plus to mark🤣🤣
waiting for MrSiren to do the animation XD